will be useful to them in their daily lives: reading, writing, arithmetic, religion, marksmanship and taxidermy. The family lives on Dan Quayle Drive in a 'graceful gated community' in Atlanta, Georgia. Birdie is aunt to Chris Warner. She has a twin brother, Sandy, who runs a homosexual deprogramming center, Straight Ways ("Religion"). In her spare time, Birdie sells Militia M'Lady products, attends a "We Hate Hillary" club ("Politics"), and looks out for black government helicopters flying overhead, with weaponry in her backyard to shoot them down if need be. Linda Granger Age varies. Linda is an actress, singer, dancer and author. Linda starred as Vickie Starr in the hit 1970s television series VIP Lounge. She has a tell-all autobiography, I'm Still Here!! My Lifelong Battle with Alcoholism, Disease, and Personal Misfortune, which details her battles with drugs, alcoholism, cancer, and eating disorders. Linda is also a recovering sex addict. She has one child, a daughter named Marmalade, who she secretly gave up for adoption (to sustain her public image) and then later re-adopted. Marmalade's father is unknown ("Secrets"). Her manager Candy Casino (Seymour Cassel) helps run her life. She often remarks, "I have a strong homosexual fanbase." Her Royal Highness Age 57. HRH derives enormous pleasure from making everyone around her as uncomfortable as possible. Her private secretary, Captain Philip "Pip" St. Aubyn (Alastair Duncan) is always on hand to assist her. Sydney Kross Age unknown ("It's illegal to ask that question"). A ruthless and charmless high-profile Beverly Hills attorney. Her motto is "You name it, I'll sue it." She despises most music and plays, but is an ardent Riverdance fan ("Culture"). Erin McColl Age 47. Erin is the former lead singer of the 1970s band Wisechild, with whom she had a falling out because she no longer wanted to tour to stay near her L.A. pharmacist ("Music"). Erin is often stupid and depends on her manager Dusty (Mo Gaffney) for guidance. In her first episode, "Nostalgia", her manager was instead a Dusty Springfield lookalike named Rusty (Kate McGregor-Stewart). Madam Nadja Age 60. Nadja is originally from Romania and is now a Hollywood madam who conducts all her business from her bed. She was great friends with Nicolae and Elena Ceaușescu, and was at one time his mistress. Her parrot Vlad talks to her. Mrs. Noh Nang Ning Age 70. Mrs. Noh Nang Ning, who is of indeterminate Asian origin,