
Time Mends
Timber Wolves: Book 2
by Tammy Blackwell
Published in
the United States
Copyright © 2012
All rights held by the author.
Just in case the boys turning into wild animals under the light of the full moon didn't make it obvious, this is a work of fiction. All characters and events exist only in the mind of the writer. Any resemblance to real life is a figment of your imagination.
Cover Design: Victoria Faye (www.victoriafaye.com)
Cataloging Information
Blackwell, Tammy
Time Mends/ Tammy Blackwell. - Smashwords ed.
Timber Wolves: Book 2
Summary : After a tragic accident leaves her battered, heartbroken, and alone, Scout Donovan would rather hide in dreams than face reality. But things are changing quickly in Scout's life. Soon she's pulled back into the world of Shifters and Seers, with her best friend's fate depending on Scout's ability to protect her. Can Scout pull it together in time to save Talley, or is the past too much to overcome?
[1. Werewolves - Fiction. 2. Kentucky - Fiction. 3. Supernatural. 4. Grief.]
"Tony Stark over Bruce Wayne, but Batman trumps Iron Man."
Alex looked at me as if I suggested the Pope was Atheist. "There is no way Batman could take on Iron Man. What is he going to do? Throw one of those little bat-thingies at him?"
"They're called batarangs, and they're awesome, just like Batman."
It was one of those perfect spring days where the sun warmed your skin as the wind tossed strands of hair into your face. The smell of honeysuckle hung heavy in the air. The woods surrounding the lake displayed a kaleidoscope of colors, and the grass formed a soft green carpet.
Sadly, we weren't sitting on the grass.
I shifted, attempting to find a spot where there wouldn't be a rock jabbing into my butt. Misinterpreting my movement, Alex's arms tightened around my waist as his head fell to my shoulder. "I don't want to you to go."
"Then I won't," I said, leaning back against his chest. "I vote we stay here forever."
"And I'm selfish enough to want to second that," he muttered against into neck. His chest rose against my back with a deep breath as if he was taking in my scent, and then his arms fell away and his head lifted. "It's getting late. You have to get ready."
"No." A familiar panic bubbled in my chest. The sun vanished instantly. The nearly full moon hung heavy in the sky, illuminating the blood stains on the front of my shirt.
"Things are Changing," Alex said from where he now stood in front of me. "It's graduation day."
And then the boy I loved was gone and in his place stood a beautiful gray wolf with human eyes.
"I want to stay here," I begged through the tears."Don't make me leave. Please. Let me stay this time, Alex. Please."
You have to wake up, Scout, his voice echoed in my mind.
I shook my head, eyes fixed on his. "No."
"Wake up, Scout."
"No!"
"Scout, wake up!"
\*\*\*
There was always an adjustment period after one of my dreams. In those moments between sleep and opening my eyes, I teetered on the edge of happiness. Then, it would hit me. Some traitorous part of my brain would tell me, "Alex is dead," and it would all come rushing back. A moonlit date in the woods. An attack. Alex falling off a cliff. His body growing cold and still in my arms. Waking up in the hospital, knowing he was gone.
I opened my eyes when the pain hit. It was never long after The Moment of Truth. Maybe it was because I also remembered what happened to me on that night, or perhaps it was because all the quick, shallow breathing pulled at the fifty-one stitches in my stomach.
"Hey there, Sweetie," my mother said from the side of the bed. "It's time to get ready."
Blond curls bounced in agreement. "You get to wear the dress we ordered. Remember? The one you let me help you pick out? You know, it's like this." Angel stood on the bed beside me to reveal her blue linen sundress. "We'll be twins, only yours is green because it looks better with your skin tone."
For the past month I had heard a lot about skin tones. And color palettes. And other extremely scary TLC-esque things. The crazy thing was, I really didn't mind too much. Since the accident, my entertainment options were limited. At least when I was with my little sister I wasn't obsessively scouring the Internet, trying to uncover the nonexistent history of a dead boy.
"Scout, if you don't get up now you won't have time for a shower," Mom said.
I pulled the covers over my head at the mention of the s-word. I'm normally opposed to personal hygiene, but when you've got four lacerations across your midriff and a cast to deal with, bathing becomes a rather complicated chore.
"I can help." Angel pulled the covers down. "I can wash your hair for you in the sink again. That'll be better, right?"
"Yes, that would be better." My voice was thick and slow. I didn't know if it was the drugs or the depression making it so. "Thanks."
Mom moved away from the bed and began unhooking the tubes connecting me to the IV pole, confident Angel had me well in hand. "Let me know when you're ready for me to put on new bandages."
I nodded as I started the slow, arduous process of getting out of bed. You don't realize how much you rely on your stomach muscles until a few of them get torn apart. In the month since the accident the gashes had healed very little. The small cut on my shoulder was already closed up and beginning to scar over, and the doctor planned on taking off my cast next week, but the wounds on my stomach were as deep and painful as the day I woke up in the hospital, thanks to a seemingly impossible to identify and kill infection. My very own team of doctors and specialists agreed such a thing was to be expected when you were attacked by a coyote and then rolled around in the woods until you nearly bled to death.
"Good girl," Angel said once I was sitting on the side of the bed. I thought about being annoyed at being talked to as if I was a labrador, but decided on apathy instead. Apathy was great in that it required very little effort on my part.
Angel pulled the walker over to my bed, causing the apathy to be replaced by two of my new favorite emotions: dread and bitterness.
"I've changed my mind. I'm not going."
"Scout, it's your high school graduation. You have to go. Everyone is expecting you to be there," she said, speaking literally. Timber is a small town which sees very little in the way of excitement. The accident had been the biggest thing to hit Lake County since an ice storm came through two years ago. I was the lead story on the local news for over a week. My injuries had been too severe to return to school, and I hadn't ventured any further than the doctor's office since Alex's funeral. I wouldn't be surprised if half the county showed up for graduation just so they could gawk at the girl who survived being mauled by a wild animal.
"I don't feel good. I just want to stay in bed."
Angel put her hands on her hips, a look of determination on her face. "You can't stay in bed forever."
"Why not? It's warm. And comfy. And it's got all these great pillows." And it was the place where I could sleep, where I could dream.
Angel pulled herself up to her full three and a half feet. "Harper Lee Donovan, get up. I mean it."
I threw a blanked over my face. Angel pulled it back down. "You have to take a shower. Your hair is getting yucky again."
I ran a hand over my head and discovered she was right. When was the last time I washed it?
I still wasn't sold on the idea of attending graduation, but I was in dire need of a shower, or at least a sponge bath. The tiny part of me that still cared about such things was appalled.
I bit my lip as I pulled myself up, too stubborn and embarrassed to scream out. The room swayed, but I managed to stay upright.
Three hours later I was deeply regretting my decision to get out of bed.
The gymnasium, which is fairly massive for a small town thanks to our obsession with basketball, was packed. Either the air conditioner couldn't compete with that many bodies crammed together, or it wasn't functioning. Either way, I was melting inside of the gaudy blue gown I was forced to wear over my dress. The sound system was turned up way too loud, amplifying Senator Harper's voice to the point I feared my eardrums would burst. And I'm not sure who it was, possibly the entire senior class as a whole, but someone forgot to put on deodorant.
Why couldn't we have graduation outside like one of those normal schools they show on TV?
"This is painful," said the person to my left. I turned my head to meet a pair of brilliant green eyes. A tingly pain-like sensation ran across my abdomen as my heart battered itself against my ribcage. "At least you got a new car out of the deal. The rest of us have to withstand this torture without any sort of compensation."
I could have explained how the car was most likely a political payoff from the Toyota plant in Scott County to Senator Harper, who just happened to be my grandfather. I could have theorized that he only pawned it off as a graduation gift because he personally wouldn't ever be seen in anything less than a Mercedes. I could have even pointed out it wasn't like I would be driving it in the foreseeable future. But all that would require actually talking to Jase, something I hadn't done in almost a month.
For the first few weeks he tried, begged even, but eventually gave up. We lived in the same house, a mere wall separating our bedrooms, but he lived his life in the real world while I was confined to the protection of my bed. I wasn't sure why he was talking to me now. Maybe he banked on the sentimentality of the day to make me forget how he shredded my stomach and assisted in the murder of my boyfriend.
I turned back to the stage just as Senator Harper completed his assault on good sense by promising we could live the American dream and change the world simply by the fact we'd completed our secondary education. I could only assume everyone was clapping out of sheer relief that he'd finally quit talking.
When the applause faded out a new person was positioned behind the mike. She looked a bit like Snow White - dark, bouncy hair spilling down her back in shiny waves; porcelain skin fortunate enough to never see a blemish in its eighteen years; deep blue eyes sparkling with kindness. She stood awkwardly, attempting to conceal her short, curvaceous body with her arms.
"As most of you know, I'm not really supposed to be here." Talley's voice shook as she addressed the room full of parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and fellow graduates. "The position of Valedictorian is reserved for the person with the highest GPA. It's given in recognition of twelve years of hard work, of excelling academically. While I did work hard for twelve years and did pretty well in all of my classes, there was someone who worked harder, did better. This isn't my speech to make, so it's not my speech I'm going to give." My best friend looked at me and gave a nervous smile. "I hope you don't mind."
She began reading from the sheet of paper clutched in her hands. "People will tell you tonight is a beginning, the start of a new life. I don't believe that. Your life is what it is, it's going to continue down the same path you've been ambling along since you were born. Tonight isn't a beginning, it's just a change.
"Grown-ups like to say the only certain things in this world are death and taxes. Well, no disrespect, but that's a bunch of crap. There is only one certainty in this world and that is change.
"Life is change.
"When you wake up in the morning, you won't be the same person you are today. You'll be the the girl who danced on the table at the post-grad party or the boy who professed his love to a girl who was only vaguely aware he existed. You'll be the person who sat through this speech. You'll be a high school graduate. And, of course, you're expecting that. But, the thing is, when you wake up on Monday morning, you'll be a different person than you were the day before. And it'll happen again on Tuesday, and Wednesday, and every single morning until the biggest change of all comes and you don't wake up in this world again.
"To live is to change.
"You can't stop change no more than you stop the earth from trudging around the sun, but you can influence its direction. Tonight, I beg you to commit yourself to making positive changes. Be better people than you have been. Rid yourselves of bigotries, prejudices, and pettiness. Go out in the world and do something important. Try new things and learn from your mistakes."
Talley's blue eyes locked onto mine. Something hidden in their depths caused pinpricks of anxiety to race up my spine. "It's not always going to be easy, and you will, without a doubt, screw up over and over again; but the next morning you'll wake up a new, changed person, and you'll try again. Be strong. Be brave. And, please, be good."
She broke the intense eye contact and flashed one of her brightest, most genuine smiles at the masses. Her thanks was swallowed up by the sound of three thousand people shuffling to their feet and applauding. I didn't bother trying to stand - everyone would be sitting back down by the time I made it up - but Talley managed to recapture my gaze all the same.
\*\*\*
I was not the assumed Valedictorian of my class. It's not like I'm some super-smart genius girl who aced her SATs and made As without trying. I had to work hard and study my butt off to even attempt to keep up with the other Honor's students. In all honesty, Talley would have probably been named Valedictorian even if I had been able to finish out the school year.
The only reason I prepared a speech is because Talley and I started working on them our tenth grade year during her "power of positive thoughts" phase. We wrote them, but never showed them to one another, saving the "surprise" for graduation day. Mine was saved on my password-protected computer profile under the name "Screw Sunscreen." A normal person would have never found it, but Talley is far from normal. She's a Seer, and more specifically, a Soul Seer. With a touch she can reach into your brain and See your memories, thoughts, dreams, or the location of your secret graduation speech.
It looked like it was time to have a little talk about boundaries.
I managed to miss the cue to stand up while I was pondering when exactly she hacked into my computer because suddenly I was the only senior still in my seat. I grabbed onto the despised walker and pulled. Nothing happened. Another tug. Still nothing. My arms were like spaghetti, all pale and floppy and weak. Tears of frustration threatened to spill out, humiliating me further. And then two sets of hands were easing me to my feet. Jase let go as soon I was upright, possibly due to the glare I shot his way, but John Davis kept one hand on my elbow as he moved around to my side. He moved the walker out of the way with his spare hand before wrapping the other arm around my waist.
"Just lean on me, Graduation Buddy," he whispered with a goofy smile. "We'll make it just fine."
Again tears threatened, but this time out of gratitude and affection. For the first time, I realized I may never see John again. True, Timber is a small town, but it's still big enough you could go your whole life without seeing everyone who lives here. And who knew if we would both end up back home after college? Maybe we would run into each other at Wal-Mart over the holidays, but maybe not. John may not have been my favorite person, but he was a friend, someone who had been a constant part of my Monday through Friday life for the past thirteen years. Still, I was shocked to realize I would miss him.
The entire class made its way to the stage in pairs. John supported most of my weight the entire trek and practically lifted me onto each step as my turn neared, but it was better than clomping around with the walker. I swore I would only think kind thoughts about him for at least the next month.
"Jase Stewart Donovan," Principal Dexter's voice bellowed from the speakers.
My brother's presence on stage was met with more than a few wolf whistles and cat calls. He handled it with all the charm and irreverence one came to expect from the star basketball player with celebrity-like status in our small community. He stopped in the middle of the stage and gave a deep, theater-worthy bow before tossing a few winks and kisses to his adoring fans. The school superintendent - who was known affectionately as "Dad" in the Donovan household - sighed deeply, Senator Harper scowled, and Principal Dexter barely suppressed a smile.
Once they finally managed to shoo Jase off the stage, it was my turn.
"Harper Lee Donovan."
I wasn't expecting what happened next. My first step was met with a deafening roar that almost literally knocked me off my unsteady feet. I looked out at the crowd, startled.
They were all once again on their feet. Three thousand pairs of eyes glued me to the spot. Three thousand sets of hands slammed together. There was yelling and whistling and cheering. It was all too much. The room tilted. Out of the corner of my eye I saw my father rush towards me, but I knew he wouldn't make it in time. The last thing I saw before collapsing was a pair of familiar grey eyes watching from the upper bleachers.
"You weren't gone long," Alex said as I made my way up the lake's shore. The sun was dipping behind the trees, sending streaks of light to dance across the top of the water.
"Are you getting bored with me?" I greeted him with a quick kiss. "I know I'm nowhere near as exciting as skipping rocks or making dandelion necklaces."
A quick kiss wasn't enough for Alex. His lips followed a familiar trail along my jawline, over my cheeks, and back to my lips. "Yep, you're pretty dull to be around," he breathed against my skin. "I would tell you to go away and never come back, but I would hate to hurt your feelings."
He kissed me as if it had been years since we last saw each other, which was hardly the case. Since my rather dramatic collapse at graduation I was kept sedated a majority of the time. My infection was worse, causing my temperature to skyrocket. On top of that, I developed a migraine of spectacular proportions. My bedroom was kept completely dark because even the dimmest of lights burned my eyes. I wore earplugs to dull the roar of the fan used to keep me cool. My family was even eating out every meal since the smell of food cooking caused me to vomit.
Life in the real world sucked. Here was better. Here nothing hurt, and Alex waited for me.
"I love you," I said, pulling him even tighter against me.
"I love you, too." I heard his breath, shallow and fast, and felt his heart pound in his chest.
As countless hours of doing some mildly illegal things online proved, I didn't really know Alex Cole. I didn't know where he was born or where he grew up. I didn't know who his parents were or what he did before showing up at Lake County High at the beginning of our Senior year. Heck, I didn't even know if his real name was Alex or Christopher. It bothered me. A lot. Not because I felt lied to or manipulated, but because I would never know. It's why I clung to my sleeping hours, to these dreams. I may never know who Alex was before, but I knew who he was here with me.
He was mine.
We walked along the edge of the lake for a long time, although the scenery never changed. One minute we would be walking under the cliff where we had our one and only real date ever, and the next it would be looming just ahead of us. Soon the sky grew dark and the moon began to show its face.
"It's a full moon tonight." I was surprised I hadn't already known. Last winter I discovered the existence of Shifters, boys who transformed into wolves or coyotes during the full moon. Alex was the first Shifter I knew about, but he wasn't the only one. Through a bit of amateur sleuthing, I found out my step-brother Jase came from a family of Shifters. Since my boyfriend, brother, and Charlie, Jase's cousin and one of my best friends, all Changed during the full moon, I made it a habit to keep up with the phases.
I turned to Alex, to ask if he would still be forced into his Change, and found the wolf instead.
I knelt down and buried my hands in his soft fur. "I really wish you would stop doing that. It's not..." The thought was cut off by a violent convulsion slamming through my body.
"Scout!" Alex, once again a boy, caught me in his arms. "Scout, talk to me!"
"Hurts." The word came out as a whimper.
"Scout, you have to wake up."
I tried to answer, but the muscles in my throat jerked, making speech impossible.
"You have to wake up and get outside as fast as you can, okay? Get outside and away from the house. Go into the woods. And whatever you do, don't let them see your fear. Ever. You have to be strong. Got it?"
He wasn't making sense. Even if he was, there wasn't anything I could do. Control was gone and replaced with intense pain.
"Come on, Scout. It's time to Change. You need wake up now." The tremors stopped as abruptly as they started. I lay limp in his arms, afraid to move. "Scout, wake up! Now!"
\*\*\*
My eyes flew open as all my waking world symptoms came back with a vengeance. It was as if I could smell every hidden scent, from the wood of the furniture to the dye in every article of clothing hanging in the closet. My own breathing sounded deafeningly loud to my ears. My stomach churned, and my skin blazed like fire.
The muscle spams were just the cherry on the top of the sundae.
There was no way to get to my walker, so I rolled myself out of the bed, landing on the floor with a bone crushing thud. I crawled to my desk where I managed to pull myself up to a semi-erect position, and then headed out of my room, down the stairs, and to the back door. Every step was pure agony, the inability to do so being the only thing to keep me from screaming out. I was near delirious by the time I collapsed in the back yard. And then the real pain began.
I could hear the bones as they snapped, feel every fiber of muscle that pulled apart. Skin stretched so tight I was certain it was going to rip open. My fingers dug into the ground until I no longer had fingers to grip with. Finally, I reached my pain threshold and passed out.
\*\*\*
Something was nudging my side. No, not something. Someone. I could smell him. It was a good smell. Dirt and woods and sweat and fur and something else. Something unique. Something indescribable. I liked that smell. A lot.
There was another smell. It was even closer than nice smell, right in front of my nose. It was the smell of blood and death. The smell of food.
My stomach clenched at the realization. Food. I needed food. I had never been so hungry in my entire life.
It was in my mouth before my eyes even opened. My teeth tore through flesh and muscle. It was still warm and this made me happy. Fresh meat was best. I ate until there was nothing left, and then mourned the fact it was gone.
I needed to find something else to eat. I wasn't picky. The rabbit was good, but a squirrel or opossum would do. As long as it was food, I didn't care.
I stuck my nose to the ground and sniffed around, trying to pick up on a trail. I thought I found one, only to realize it was the same rabbit I just devoured. It ran along the edge of the woods until it's trail crossed with another.
The scent was unmistakable. The good smell had swiped the rabbit.
The good smell.
I forgot in the haze of hunger and food, and now he was gone. I cocked my head and listened to the night, hoping to catch a rustling of leaves or movement of a bush, anything that would lead me to where he was.
"Identify yourself."
I spun around, looking for the woman with the smooth, demanding voice, but no one was there.
"You are trespassing on Hagan Pack territory. Please, identify yourself."
Hagan Pack territory? My home. My land. My territory.
A growl rumbled in my chest, the sound of it briefly shocking me back to my senses. What the Hades was going on? What happened to me? I looked down at my hands that were no longer hands and felt panic creep into my bones.
"Scout?"
The voice was coming from inside my head, and it knew my name. That couldn't be good.
I shook my ginormous canine head and screamed, "Leave me alone!" with all my mental might, which was not considerable at the moment. A twig snapped to my left, sending me over the edge. The panic completely consumed me, and I ran.
Direction and time were inconsequential. The only thought in my head was to flee. Occasionally, the reality of the situation threatened to push through my altered consciousness, but I refused to let it. Instead, I ran as far and as hard as I could. The undergrowth whipped past me, briars catching in my fur. My paws ached and my muscles burned, but I kept running. I had to escape, to get far away.
If I was in better possession of my facilities, it may have occurred to me that I had no idea where I was going or where my foe was. I might have considered using my super-sensitive wolf senses to alert me to my surroundings. Unfortunately, the only thing I was thinking about was running, which is why I found myself standing at the edge of a particularly deep and fast-moving creek, contemplating my next move, when the scent of the others reached me.
They slowed just before coming into view. There were two of them, small and red. The younger of the two bared his teeth in a snarl, but the older one stood perfectly still, confusion evident in his green eyes.
Coyotes. They weren't the two who killed Alex, but they looked similar. I pressed my ears back against my head and growled deep in my throat.
The older coyote snapped at the younger one, but it was too late. He was racing towards me. All I had to do was wait for the perfect moment to spring onto him. He was small and clumsy. I would be able to dispose of him quickly. Just as he was closing in on the perfect distance a flash of fur darted out of the bushes, knocking the young coyote off course. I let out a frustrated snarl at losing my advantage.
The newcomer stood between me and my adversary. If it had been anyone else, I would have knocked him aside to get to the boy.
I barked out a plea, but the wolf remained in front of the boy, protecting him.
I fell back, but then circled around to the right. The wolf realized what I was doing and snapped at me. I moved back and he snapped again, this time stepping towards me.
He was running me off.
All desire to fight vanished as I was overcome with disappointment and humiliation. He didn't want me. Not like this. I dropped my head, tucked my tail, and ran away.
I spent the rest of the night slinking around, following random paths for a while, but never committing to a hunt. I could feel the sunrise before the first rays broke over the horizon. My muscles began to twitch and I hunkered down onto the ground, praying this time the Change would kill me.
I lay naked and confused on the dew soaked ground. The bad news was I wasn't dead. The worse news was the Change back had been just as painful and much longer than the original Change. The worst news was I was conscious for every single second of it.
I think he may have been with me for part of it. Or maybe I was hallucinating. There was really no way to be sure. My brain was on overload, too much shock and pain to function properly. That's why I didn't realize someone was next to me until they touched my shoulder, sending a lightning storm of pain across my new, sensitive skin.
"Sorry!" Talley crouched down next to me. "I'm so sorry."
I wanted to tell her it was okay, but I knew if I opened my mouth a scream would escape.
"Here," she said, working a garment over my head. "It's soft and thin. It'll still hurt, but it's the best I could do."
She wasn't kidding. It felt like I was attacking a sunburn with sandpaper. Once we got all my important bits covered with Talley's old swimsuit cover-up, I was exhausted. I slumped back onto the ground, focusing all my energy on pulling oxygen into my lungs.
I must have nodded off, because the next thing I knew a hand was brushing the hair out of my face.
"Scout, can you hear me?" I nodded my head, but refused to pry my eyes open. "Do you think you can stand up if I helped you?"
"I don't know." The words felt odd in my mouth.
A fourth person joined our group. "It's okay," he said. "I'll get her."
"No, I've got her," the first guy said, and suddenly I was being lifted off the ground.
He smelled like home and cinnamon.
"Dude, seriously, I think she should try to walk."
"I've got her." The sound of his voice echoed in his chest, loud and assertive. Everything was loud, but it didn't hurt like before.
"She's okay," Talley assured Jase. "Let him take care of her."
I could hear Jase's teeth snap together even though he was a good fifteen or twenty feet behind me. Actually, if I concentrated, I could hear the air as it entered and left his lungs and the steady pounding of his heart. Somehow the ability to distinguish individual sounds out of the cacophony lingered post-Change.
The same must have held true for Charlie. "You're hungry," he said after my stomach gurgled for perhaps the fourth time. "Did you eat anything last night?"
"A rabbit." The memory of the blood in my mouth, the crunch of bone between my teeth, caused me to gag. "I ate a rabbit."
"You caught a rabbit? Good girl."
Something in my chest fluttered pleasantly at the obvious pride in his voice. Everything was going to be okay. Charlie was here, and he was proud of me.
It took all of two seconds for my brain to catch up. My eyes flew open, revealing a familiar curve of neck and jawline. The physical pain from the Change was fading quickly, but it felt like someone slammed a fist into the solar plexus of my soul.
In my head I didn't see the boy I had loved since before I was old enough to understand the word, but the coyote who rolled Alex to the edge of that cliff.
"Put me down," I said suddenly, struggling against the arms holding me tight. "Dammit, Charlie. Let me go."
He released me and I scrambled away from him, my body shaking for an entirely new reason. I barely made it to the tree line before I started retching. I grabbed onto a limb to keep from collapsing onto the ground. I looked at the contrast of my hand against the dark bark and remembered how just an hour before it was a paw. I leaned more heavily against the tree as darkness began encroaching on the outer edges of my vision.
"Scout...?" Talley stood just behind me, her hands hovering in the air behind my back, wanting to comfort, but afraid to touch.
"I'm fine," I said, slowly pushing myself back to an erect position. It wasn't a complete lie. Other than a throat raw from its recent acquaintance with stomach acid and some sensitive skin issues, I was physically fine. In fact...
I ran my hand over my stomach, surprised to discover my wounds completely and totally healed. I rotated the wrist which had been encased in plaster until it turned into a foreleg. It moved as if it was never broken.
"The Change repairs any bone or muscle damage," Talley said. "It puts the cells back where they're suppose to be, not where they were. You should be back to where you were before the accident."
"I have scars." I could feel the ridges through the thin material of the cover-up.
Talley's eyebrows knitted together. "Really? That's not supposed to happen."
I let out a bark of laughter. "None of this is supposed to happen! Did you miss the part where I grew a tail and ran around on four legs eating rabbit tartar?"
"I know this is hard to understand ---"
"Hard to understand?" I shook my head in disbelief. "It's impossible to understand. I'm not a Shifter, Tal. I'm Scout, normal girl, remember? Unless my dad is a Shifter and you didn't tell me," which was exactly the sort of thing they would do, "or I'm adopted," which I doubted, "this completely defies understanding. I mean, do you have an explanation? Can you tell me what is going on? Because if you've got so much as a theory, I'm all big, wolfy ears."
Talley's fingers were wound up in her hair. "I... I'm not sure." She looked to Jase and Charlie for help, but they didn't have any to provide. "We'll figure it out, though. We'll take you to Toby and he'll get the answers."
This caused another sardonic laughing fit on my end. It was nice to be able to do so without feeling like I was being split in two. "Oh, I feel all kinds of better now I know that Toby is going to figure things out for me."
"Toby is the Pack Leader," Jase said as though that really did make everything all better.
"So?"
"So it's his job to protect and care for his people," he explained. "He'll take care of this. Promise."
I wish I could be as confident. "I'm not part of his Pack."
"Of course you are. You're family."
"Really? Whose?"
"Mine. You're my sister, remember?"
I automatically touched my stomach, still surprised to find scars instead of stitches.
"How are going to explain this?" I asked, refusing to acknowledge Jase's statement about our sibling bond. "What am I supposed to tell Mom when she goes to change my dressing?" The thought of her face when she lifted my shirt to find a whole stomach...
Oh crap.
"We have to call Mom! She's going to be freaking out!" Ever since the accident Mom checked on me regularly through the night. "The police are probably looking for me."
Talley shuffled awkwardly. "She knows where you are. We called her as soon as we realized what happened."
"She knows what? That I decided, despite my inability to get out of bed, I would go camping?"
"She knows you Shifted," Jase answered. "She knows everything."
That stopped me cold. "Everything?"
For quite possibly the first time in his life, Jase looked uncomfortable. "Everything."
I worked hard to keep my voice controlled. "How long has she known everything?"
"I don't know. Since my dad died? Since I was born?"
Of course she knew. Everybody was in on the secret. I don't know how I managed to still feel betrayed by it all.
"And my dad?"
"She was supposed to tell him last night," Talley answered. "Parents of Shifters are the only normal people who know about any of us."
I tried to imagine how that conversation went. My practical, no-nonsense mother explaining to my just-the-facts-and-nothing-but-the-facts father that his daughter developed the ability to transform into a wild canine when the moon was full. I'm sure it went over really well.
"So, all those times you told her you were going camping or whatever, she knew what was really going on?"
"I guess. She wouldn't talk to me about it. When I was old enough to be told I was a Shifter and start going out on full moons with the Pack, I tried to tell her where I was going and why, but she wouldn't listen. She said, 'You're going to your grandmother's to spend the night. Nothing more, nothing less.' She wants to pretend like it isn't real, like I'm normal."
I could almost see the attraction of that attitude. My life had been completely turned upside-down by the discovery that Shifters existed. If I could go back to a simpler world, I would do it in a heartbeat, but I didn't have that option.
"What do we do now?" I asked no one in particular.
Talley volunteered an answer. "Now we go back to my house. Mom and Gramma are cooking a huge breakfast - eggs, bacon, sausage, biscuits, gravy, pancakes, everything." I thought about my last meal and shuddered. A raw rabbit? A defenseless little bunny, fur and all? "You need to eat, Scout. The Change burns about a million calories you're going to have to replace."
"So, we eat." If I could get poor little Thumper out of my head long enough to work up an appetite. "And then?"
Her clear blue eyes met mine. "And then I don't know."
Talley's driveway looked like a car lot. I always assumed the Pack consisted of Jase, Charlie, Charlie's dad, and Toby, Charlie's annoyingly self-important brother. I never thought to include great-uncles and distant cousins.
My fingers dug into the upholstery of the passenger's seat. No one said much during the fifteen minute car ride other than Talley asking if I was okay every thirty seconds. Maybe if I could have managed something besides a strangled choking noise she would have quit asking.
I spent the majority of the time trying to convince myself this was all a horrible nightmare or psychotic episode brought on by stress, pain, and fever, but seeing all those cars gleaming in the early morning light somehow undid all my hard work.
If there had been anything left in my stomach I would've thrown up again.
"Scout?" Jase's fingers clutched my elbow. I gave yet another strangled choking noise in response. "Scout, you need to listen to me. This is important."
I turned my head to find him leaning up between the driver and passenger seats. "When you go in there, whatever you do, don't let them see your fear. You have to be strong, okay?"
The realization Jase was echoing what Alex said to me in my dreams was enough to get me back into speaking mode. "What? What did you say?"
Her jerked back, looking as shaken as I felt. "Shifters are different than other people. Fear is a sign of weakness, and weakness is worse than bad. You can't let them think you're afraid. If someone bullies you, you have to stand up for yourself. Think you can do that?"
"No." Honesty is the best policy, right? "God, Talley, just take me home. I don't want to be here."
"Not an option," came Charlie's voice from the back seat. "You trespassed on Hagan territory."
"I was in my back yard."
"Doesn't matter. Rules are rules."
I literally felt like I might explode. Rules are rules? I just had one of the most traumatic events of my life and they were actually concerned about crap like borders and territory? And when did Charlie start caring about rules? He was the kind of guy who believed rules were made to be broken. In fact, he owned a t-shirt that said, "Rules are made to be broken."
Talley looked down to where my fingernails attempted to rip the upholstery out of her car. "Are you mad?"
I answered with a glare.
"Good," she said, shutting off the engine. "That means you're not focused on being scared anymore." Her door was open before I could even protest. "Let's go."
About a dozen different guys loitered on the Matthews' front porch, and it sounded as if there were at least that many more inside. I could put a name to most of the faces, though I suspected many of them I had only met once or twice before.
The moment we got near the house all conversation stopped. I've been stared at my entire life, and not in the you're-the-most-beautiful-girl-in-the-world way. My stares tended to be more of the hey-I-didn't-know-the-circus-was-in-town variety. I'm what a nice person would call "unusual looking". The hair hanging down nearly to my waist is a silvery blond, my skin is a pale ivory with no hint of a peach or pink undertone, and my eyes are the palest of azure blue, only one tiny step up from white on the color chart. But something told me these hard looks had nothing to do with my white-on-white-on-white color pallet.
"Does everyone already know?" I asked Talley quietly, although whispering was pretty pointless. They were all Shifters, and it was the morning after a full moon. Supernatural hearing was working at full force, a fact driven home by my pounding headache.
Talley nodded, head held high as she kept walking towards the mob. "Be strong," she muttered so softly I knew it carried only the ears of those of us who walked alongside her.
Badass Scout. I could do that, right?
I squared my shoulders and lifted my chin, looking at the cluster of guys about my age who sat on the front steps making zero effort to hide the fact they were trying to ease-drop in on our conversation. One of the younger ones, whose name I couldn't remember for the life of me, made a big show of dragging his eyes down my body, pausing dramatically at the place where the orange gauzy material stopped mid-thigh, before giving me a grin and thumbs-up. I offered up a hand signal of my own in response.
I marched up to the steps and waited for someone to move so we could go inside. No one did.
"Makya," I said to the largest of the group, "I'm going to need you to move out of my way."
Makya is, as best as I can remember, Jase's third-cousin. Apparently whatever genes that make Jase attractive in that adorable teddy-bear kind of way and Charlie sexier than should be allowed didn't run through his part of the family tree. Makya sports a pug nose, a protruding forehead, and zero evidence a chin ever had an inclination to exist. The only thing he has going for him is the mossy green eyes which mark him as a Hagan.
"And what if I don't feel like moving out of your way, baby?"
I shrugged with affected nonchalance. "I'll let you decide. Either I can break your nose like I did at the state Mixed Martial Arts Tournament five years ago, or I can see if I can make you run crying to your mommy like the one and only time you showed up at Uncle Charles's dojo. What will it be?"
"You think you can take me?"
A smirk played on my lips. "I know I can, moron."
In all honesty, I wasn't so sure. I spent the last month bed-ridden and just went through an extremely physically taxing evening without any sleep. Not exactly the best fighting conditions one could hope for, but Talley and Jase were right. For Christmas I received a surprise gift from Alex - one of the few factual books on werewolves in existence. Alex understood my need for scientific facts and reasoning when faced with the impossible magic of Shifters. In my multiple readings I picked up on a few of the basics of Shifter culture. Pack structure is based on physical strength. It's the one place where being a bully is not only encouraged, but exalted and necessary. I needed to fight Makya and win, but at the very least I had to fight. Getting my butt kicked would be bad, but being a coward simply wasn't acceptable.
Makya slowly rose and began to move towards me. Almost instantly, Charlie and Jase were in front of me, snarls in their throats.
"Boys, enough." At the sound of Toby's voice, Charlie and Jase went silent and dropped their heads, which allowed me to see the fear in Makya's eyes. "Get off the steps, you idiots. Let her by."
It was like Charlton Heston parting the Red Sea, bodies moved out of the way giving me a path to the front door where Toby stood waiting.
"How are you doing, Scout?" he asked when I was standing in front of him.
How am I doing? Every single bone in my body has been broken multiple times in the past twelve hours. I've had muscles rip themselves into shreds and then reform. My skin feels like I laid in the tropical sun for hours upon hours without sunscreen and then poured acid over it. My brother almost killed me a month ago. My boyfriend was murdered by your brother, the only boy I've ever loved besides Alex. And now I'm a Shifter. How the Hell do you think I am?!?!
"Fine."
To Toby's credit, he obviously didn't believe me.
"Hungry?"
My stomach answered for me.
"Come on, then. We've got plenty to eat."
Toby moved back and held the screen door for me. Everyone inside the house, who tended to be in the Toby-to-parent age spectrum, stood perfectly still, except for one tiny old woman.
"There you are." Gramma Hagan wrapped her pudgy arms around me and squeezed with more strength than I would have believed a woman of her size and age possessed. "Oh sweetie, you're so thin. I should have brought you more food. I meant to, of course, time just got away from me with Phyllis's hip-replacement surgery."
Gramma Hagan is one of those grandmothers everyone wishes they had. She bakes, knits, and holds to the firm belief her grandchildren are the most perfect creatures to have ever lived. I was included in that bundle of perfection, even though she was the mother of Jase's father and, therefore, no relation to me whatsoever. After I was finally released from the hospital, Gramma Hagan came to our house with what can only be described as a sampler of casseroles. There were seven different pans of food, each enough to feed our family of five for multiple days, and they all operated under the instructions of, "Take out of freezer and place in a 350-degree oven. Bake until bubbly."
"You brought more than enough food, Gramma." Gramma Hagan was always on me about being too thin, which was certainly not the case. I'm a very average sized girl, in no way the skin-and-bones look of models or actresses. Even with the weight I lost over the past month, I am still within the normal range. I just didn't look it at the moment. "I just haven't felt like eating much."
She patted my cheek, the highest point she could reach on me. "That's going to change now. I imagine you'll be starved after this whole ordeal, aren't you, sugar?"
"Yes, ma'am." The smell of food from inside overpowered all my other super-senses. I was half dizzy from it. I had a brief moment of insanity where I thought about pushing Gramma aside so I could get to the kitchen.
She chuckled in that cute way old women do. "Well then, Tobian, I think it's time you let your Pack eat."
Toby nodded and the Shifters all stood up and began arranging themselves into some sort of line. The younger guys from the porch were mostly towards the back, although Makya seemed to be somewhere squarely in the middle. Jase stood behind Toby and Charlie behind him.
I stood more than a little awkwardly off to the side.
"If this is some sort of canine instinct thing, I haven't developed it yet," I said. "Where am I supposed to be?"
Toby looked down the line at his Pack members, meeting each of their eyes before turning back to me. "Why don't you go ahead and get your food, Scout?"
There was a smattering of grunts and gasps. I don't know what their problem was. Yes, I understood there was some sort of Pack social hierarchy at play, but Toby was still mostly human and a product of Gramma Hagan's raising. I was technically a guest and most assuredly a female, as Toby liked to point out in the most demeaning fashion possible. Toby might be a giant pain most of the time, but he does know how to use his manners. Anyway, it wasn't exactly like I could eat everything all by myself, although I was half tempted to try. I settled on loading up two plates with heaping helpings of eggs, pancakes, potatoes, bacon, sausage, and donuts. And, God bless Mrs. Matthews, I even had a salad bowl full of Cap'n Crunch.
There was only one place in the Matthews house where I could escape the cold stares of the Hagan men. As an added bonus, it was also where I could find some pants.
I was able to enjoy my breakfast in a sanctuary of complete privacy and near silence. Talley owned a pair of super-expensive headphones which miraculously blocked out all the annoying background noise, which was annoying even if it wasn't the complete sensory overload it had been.
I was just slurping the last of the sugary milk from my bowl in the most unladylike fashion imaginable when someone invaded my Fortress of Solitude. I'm not sure how I knew he was behind me. I just know one moment everything was fine and dandy, and the next the little hairs on the back of my neck were standing on end as I began to mentally review defensive strategies.
I slid off the headphones and turned to find Layne, Toby's tween-age son, standing in the doorway of Talley's bedroom.
"You're not supposed to be in here," he said. "This room is off limits."
"This room is off limits to boys." I dabbed at a spot of maple syrup I spilled onto Talley's bedspread and prayed Mrs. Matthews wouldn't notice. "I can come in here whenever I want. I even have my own drawer full of clothes and a toothbrush in the bathroom." It was an arrangement our parents came to when we were seven and started demanding weekly sleepovers. Talley had a drawer of clothes and a toothbrush at my house too.
Layne wasn't impressed. In fact, he seemed to be a bit angry. "You're not special, you know. You're a freak. Something is wrong with you."
I made a display of smelling the air even though I recognized his scent the moment I stepped into the house. "I hope you thanked him for saving your life."
"He's the Pack Leader and my dad. It's his job."
"I wasn't talking about your dad, moron."
Layne was visibly shaking. "There is something wrong with you. My dad is going to kill you and put you out of your misery, you know."
I showed my teeth. "I'm going to rip you apart and enjoy watching your blood leave your body."
The moment the words were out of my mouth I wished I could stuff them back in. Yes, Layne was an annoying brat and someone needed to put him in his place, but it was mean of me to purposefully scare him. He was still a kid, a point driven home by his quivering lip.
"Layne, listen..." But he didn't want to. He darted down the hall before I could even think of the right words to apologize with.
Crap. Now I was going to have to chase after the little monster.
It quickly became evident the good people at Bose were geniuses and the sound-proofed headphones were worth every single penny. They had managed to completely block out the sound of twenty Shifters and two Seers engaged in a shouting match.
"And I'm telling you, nice little girls don't just up and turn into Shifters," Uncle Charles was saying. For once, his face was red from emotion rather than a few dozen too many drinks. "That thing is an abomination. A monster."
He was calling me a monster? That was rich coming from a man who liked to use his son as a punching bag.
"She's not a 'thing'." Talley's eyes glowed with a manic rage. It was the first time for me to see her truly angry in nearly eighteen years. "She has a name, or is your memory slipping along with your ability to Shift?"
I saw Uncle Charles's hand ball into a fist, but was too shocked to do anything. Luckily, Jase wasn't frozen to the spot. He grabbed the older man's elbow and jerked him back before he could swing.
"Call my sister names or even think about touching Talley again, and I'll end your miserable life. Do you understand me?"
"She isn't your sister, whelp. The sooner you remember that, the better off you'll be."
"Enough," Toby said, taking a single step towards his father and cousin, but that was all it took. Jase went back to leaning on the counter while Uncle Charles retreated to the leather Lazy Boy recliner. "We're not going to go around accusing anyone of anything until we have proof," the Pack Leader said, leveling Uncle Charles with his eyes. "And we're to respect our elder Pack members," he said to both Jase and Talley.
If I were Toby, Jase would have been strangled over his salute. The arrogant Pack Leader merely nodded as if he was truly a commanding officer and Jase didn't reek of sarcasm.
"Listen, Toby, it doesn't matter if she's a saint or a demon. The fact is, an arctic wolf is going to attract a lot of a attention around here," one of Jase's older distant cousins chimed in. "Especially after what your boys pulled last month. Every redneck with a gun thinks it's open season on coyotes. Add a dangerous non-indigenous wolf to the mix and they'll be shooting at anything that moves."
The boy sitting on the couch was the one person in the room I should have made every effort to avoid, but I felt myself pulled towards the only one not in the middle of a what-are-we-going-to-do-about-Scout discussion.
"I'm an arctic wolf?"
Charlie nodded, his eyes focused on his brother.
Toby is the kind of guy who demands attention. He has rock-star looks and an attitude to match. Yet, in the presence of his Pack, he became something more. Even I could acknowledge that. He was a leader, although a very exasperated one at the moment. "What am I supposed to do? Force her to leave town? This isn't some random lone wolf who wandered into our area. And we can't ignore the fact that some members of this Pack may have had some role in this happening."
Jase's head whipped up. "You don't really think ---"
"That's ridiculous," Talley's mother said. "Jase and Charlie had nothing to do with this. You can't make Shifters. And she's turning into a wolf, not a coyote."
"You have to look at the facts, Vera," Toby said, becoming the first person to ever use Mrs. Matthews's first name in conversation. "One month she gets ripped in half by a Shifter, and the next full moon she's sprouting fur and fangs. There has to be a connection."
"It's not some sort of infection you can get from a scratch or a little bit of blood, Tobian. You know as well as I do that being a Shifter is part of your DNA."
Toby raked his hand through his hair. "Well, if anyone has any better theories, I'm willing to listen."
Fifteen voices started yelling at once, most of them not painting a very kindly picture of me and demanding my immediate removal from Pack territory. It wasn't exactly the sort of thing a person wants to sit around and listen to.
"This is fun," I muttered under my breath.
"Come on." Charlie stood up and extended his hand towards me. I followed him off the couch, ignoring the offered assistance. "I'll take you home."
No one seemed to notice us as we made our way to the door, Charlie stopping to lift some keys out of Talley's purse.
The morning sun had burned all the dew off the ground. I could hear farm equipment churning miles down the road, the smell of the freshly turned dirt working more effectively than any anti-anxiety medication. I was in awe of how alive the world was. My ears picked up even the faintest of sounds and layers upon layers of smells filled my nose.
Charlie was silent and distant the drive back, which was fine by me. I had no idea what to say to him. The past month changed us. He didn't even look like the same boy who surprised me on Prom night, having driven four hours just to dance with me. He had lost weight, causing his already sharp features to become severe. Dark bags hung underneath his tired eyes. He even managed to grow a scraggly beard, although it looked more starving artist than crazy homeless man on him. But the worst of it was something not so easy to articulate. It was a loss of something, a spark that was uniquely Charlie. It was the dullness in the eyes that once twinkled, the way his shoulders slumped in defeat.
I lost both of the boys I loved that night.
He continued his look-at-anything-but-Scout routine as he brought the car to a stop in front of my house.
"Thanks for the ride." A slight bob of the chin was the only indication he heard me.
I started to get out of the car, but stopped with one foot out the door. "Charlie, what is going to happen if they convince Toby that I can't stay here, that I'm more trouble than I'm worth?"
"That's not going to happen."
"But what if it does?"
"Scout, it's not happening. Now, go inside and talk to your father. He's about five seconds from coming out here and dragging you out of this car."
I could hear the conversation between my parents inside and knew he was right. Dad had been informed of the whole Shifter business, but he wasn't taking it so well.
For that matter, neither was I.
"This isn't happening," Dad said, not for the first time. "It's just... It's not possible. People don't turn into animals. Wounds don't magically stitch themselves back together." He balanced on the edge of the old, battered plaid chair Mom had been trying haul off to the dump for the past seven years. He sat with his elbows propped on his knees, his face buried in his hands. From my vantage, I could see a halo of gray hairs scattered generously in his once blond hair. When had that happened?
"I know it sounds crazy, but it's true." I lifted up the edge of the cover-up to expose my newly-healed stomach. "How else can you explain this?"
Dad gave me the exact same look he gave Jase when my brother tried to explain how a tree jumped in front of him, causing our first car to be totaled. "I think I can come up with something that doesn't involve werewolves, Scout."
"A little help?" I tried to appeal to my mother, who sat silently curled up on the couch. After doing a more extensive physical than any of my doctors ever subjected me to, she retreated to her little corner and stayed there. I wasn't even certain she was listening to my desperate attempts to explain where I had been and what happened to me. I bit back a growl of frustration as she continued to stare at her hands, not even acknowledging the fact I had spoken.
"I have a book," I finally said, realizing it was the only way he would ever truly accept this whole Shifter business. In many ways, he and I are very much alike. "It explains the science behind Shifters, what happens to their... our bodies during the Change." Although, it didn't do the excruciating pain justice.
"There's a book?" The look Mom shot me made me wish she would go back to not participating in the conversation. "No one ever told me there was a book."
I sat down on the edge of the coffee table. The fact I was able to get away with it spoke more to my mother's current mental state than anything else. "It's really rare. I don't know if the Hagans even know it exists. The copy I have belonged to Alex's dad, and---"
"Alex?" Dad's voice held a dangerous edge. "Alex Cole? That boy..." He took a deep, calming breath. "He was one of these Shifty things?"
Crap. Was I supposed to be keeping that part a secret?
"Shifter, Dad. Alex was a Shifter."
My father practically shook with rage. "Did he do this to you?" he asked, looking pointedly at my stomach.
"What? Alex?" I wrapped a protective arm around myself out of habit. "No. Alex would never hurt me." Tears threatened at the mere mention of his name.
"But it was one of them, right?" Dad asked. "It was one of those Shifters who attacked you and made you..." I could see him struggling with how to end that sentence. "Different," he finally finished.
"I don't know why I became a Shifter."
"Who hurt you, Scout? Which one of those bastards attacked you and left you alone to die in the woods?"
My eyes fixed on the Oriental rug that hid a grape juice stain. It had been there so long, I couldn't remember is Jase or I was the culprit.
"Scout, tell me. Who was it?"
The edge of the carpet was starting to fray, and the colors were looking washed out. I would have to suggest to Dad we buy Mom a new one for her birthday.
"Scout," Mom chimed in, her voice thick. "Please. It wasn't..."
Some tears fell, making an ironic smiley face on the pajama bottoms I liberated from Talley's bedroom.
"No..." She was crying, too. I could hear her sobs, smell the salt of her tears, but I couldn't bear to look at her. "He's your brother. He loves you. He would never..."
I couldn't take it anymore. I bolted from the room and ran up the stairs, away from the truth.
\*\*\*
The lake's shore was the same, yet somehow not. The colors were wrong, too... bright? Intense? Green? It reminded me of the way things look right before an epic summer storm.
It was the exact same way things looked last night after the Change.
And Alex wasn't alone. A puppy with grey human eyes bounced excitedly around his legs.
"Everything is different," I said as I made my way to the place where Alex skipped stones across the lake's surface. Or, at least, he was attempting to skip stones across the lake's surface. In his defense, what he lacked in form he made up in persistence.
"Change does that," he said, sending another rock to its watery grave. "I think it's part of the definition. 'Change. A verb. To make different.'" He flashed a smile, dimples and all, but it was wrong, too.
"Thanks, Obi-Wan. Where would I be without your guidance?" The wolf pup noticed my existence for the first time and bounded up to my side. "Hey there, boy," I said as I scratched behind its ears. "Aren't you a handsome fellow?"
Alex laughed and the pup growled. "She is quite cute, but Nicole won't think twice about biting you if you call her a boy again."
I looked at the tiny gray wolf who abandoned threatening me for the joy of having her belly scratched by Alex.
"But she's a Shifter, right?"
"Yes."
"But girls can't be Shifters."
Alex looked up at me through a curtain of bangs in desperate need of a trim. "How did that theory work out for you last night?" I double-checked, just to make sure... Yep. He was smirking.
Asshat.
"What happened to me?"
He leaned back on his heels, wrapping his long arms around his knees. Nicole glared at me, as if it was my fault her belly-scratching came to an end. "Last night you successfully completed your first Change. I thought you would figure that out when you grew a tail."
"How, Alex? How did I Change? How did I grow a tail?" I screamed. "I'm not a Shifter, so please explain to me how this happened!"
"Of course you're a Shifter." He came over to me, cupping my cheek in his hand. It was the first time he had touched me since I arrived, and I nearly collapsed at the warmth and reassurance radiating through me. "This has always been your destiny. It's who you are."
"I only think it's fair to tell you, I don't believe in destiny."
"That's okay," Alex smiled. "She believes in you."
I knew there was someone in my room before I even opened my eyes. I could hear her breathing and smell the scent of her baby shampoo. Of course, even someone without canine senses could've achieved the same thing with Talley leaning over them, her face an inch away.
"Are you planning on waking up today or not?"
"Not." I had no idea what time it was, nor did I care. I was accustomed to twelve to eighteen hours of sleep a day. My all-nighter totally wiped me out.
A tap against my arm. "Scout."
"I'm sleeping."
A shake of my shoulder. "Scout."
"Go away."
The covers jerked back, exposing my legs to the chill of the room. "Scout."
"I hate you," I said, sitting up to retrieve the blankets now pooled below my knees. I was just awake enough to marvel over the ability to do so without pain.
"You love me," Talley said as she flounced down behind me so I couldn't lay back down. "You know how I know?"
"Cause you stole it out my head just like you did my graduation speech?"
"Because you're all growls and no bite. A Shifter attacks anyone who invades their den unless they consider them family."
"You make me sound like an animal."
Talley dug a pair of pajama bottoms out from under a pillow where they had probably been cowering for weeks. "A convincing argument could be made."
I grabbed the pajama bottoms, which kind of reeked, and went in search of the hamper I knew was somewhere in my room. Maybe.
I expected my legs to do that weird rubbery thing they always did after I pushed myself too hard at the dojo, but they held firm without even a hint of soreness. In fact, once the sting of the Change wore off, I felt amazing. Not only was pain completely and totally absent for the first time in a month, I was hyper-aware of my body, as if I could feel the individual muscles beneath my skin. I wouldn't go so far as to say I was happy to be a Shifter, but there were advantages to be had.
By the time I found the clothes hamper, which had magically folded itself up so it could hide under my bed, Talley had rounded up an armful of dirty clothes, including a Super Mario Brothers shirt I'd been looking for since October. "So, what's the verdict?" I asked.
"They should come clean with a bit of soap and water, but be sure to use the hot cycle so you kill anything that may be growing."
"Ha, ha. Very funny. I was talking about the Pack. What did they decide? Have I been voted off the island?"
Talley twisted a strand of hair around her finger, the first sign of bad news.
"When is the last time you ate? You need to be sure and get a ton of calories pre and post Change."
I narrowed my eyes, ignoring the tingle of panic spreading from my stomach to my heart. "You're avoiding the question."
"I'm trying to keep you healthy."
"Talley..."
She exhaled loudly, shoulders slumping. "You're supposed to appear before the Pack at seven o'clock tonight."
"And then what happens?"
The finger was back in the hair. "That's all the Pack Leader has authorized me to tell you."
The panic swept through my heart and railroaded its way to my brain. "What are they going to do?" Alex explained Pack politics to me once. At the moment, all I could remember was something about fights to the death.
"I can't tell you."
"You're my best friend."
"And Toby is my Pack Leader. I can't override a command no matter what I want to do."
My gut reaction wasn't what I expected. Instead of begging her to give me a clue as to what to expect or breaking down into tears, an unfamiliar mixture of incredulity and anger threatened to short-circuit my thought pattern. She was following another Shifter's commands? I wanted to lash out and demand she give me what I wanted. The impulse shocked me enough to reign it in before I actually acted on it, but not before a low, threatening growl erupted from my throat.
"Oh God, Tal. What is happening to me?" That reaction wasn't a Scout-like reaction. That sound wasn't a Scout-like sound. It wasn't a human sound. "What am I now?"
Talley was hugging me before I could stop her. "It's okay. You're going to be fine. You just need to calm down and take some time to adjust." Her hand was stroking down my hair.
"You're petting me like a dog."
Her hand stilled, and she pulled back to look at me. "It's the day after a full moon. Your wolf is still close to the surface. Sometimes touch can keep him... her calm and in check."
"The wolf is close to the surface? What does that mean? Am I like Sybil now?"
Talley took a full step back, but she was now patting my arm. I would have told her to stop, but it actually was kind of soothing.
"Your wolf isn't a different personality. It's still you, just a bit more..."
"Animalistic?"
"Exactly."
I put my hands on either side of my head and squeezed. It was all too much. Too much noise. Too many smells. Too many questions. Too many Scouts. I couldn't deal with it all. I shouldn't have to. I should be worrying about getting a summer job and whether or not I picked the right college, not about how I was supposed to keep Wolf Scout in check.
"I can't do this," I finally admitted, the pressure against my skull somehow making it easier to think. "I don't know what's going on or what to do about it. I just want to crawl back in bed and ---" Be with Alex is what I was going to say, but caught myself before it came tumbling out.
"And hide? Like you have been since the accident?"
My head whipped up, the anger once again white hot and explosive. "Hide? Hide? I had been gutted like a pig, in case you forgot. I wasn't hiding, I was recovering."
"The injury forced you to stay in bed, not to shut out everyone who loves you. You've been hiding from what happened then and you want to hide from what is happening now." There were blots of red in my vision. My hands twitched, fingers curling as if they were trying to become claws again. "Honestly, I don't know who you've become either, because my best friend wasn't a coward."
"You don't know what I've been through," I said through clenched teeth.
"You're not the only one who lost someone the night Alex died, you know. He was my friend. Maybe we didn't have the same relationship you did, but I cared about him. It broke my heart to lose him." I opened my mouth, but she plowed on. "My best friend almost died right in front of me, and most days I'm not sure she didn't. Jase has become a tsunami of wrath, plowing over everyone misguided enough to get in his way. They'll still be talking about how he loudly dumped Tinsley in the middle of the cafeteria at our twenty year reunion. Of course, that's better than Charlie, the silent anger ball who is going to go nuclear any minute now. I'm their Seer, I'm suppose to keep them from imploding, but I don't know what I'm doing since no one ever saw fit to train a latent." And then Talley burst into tears. It was a tactic she'd been using since we were little girls trying to sneak into her mother's workshop to play with all the shiny costumes. We would inevitably get caught, but before Mrs. Matthews could dole out our punishment, Talley would become a sobbing, blubbery mess, and we would be pardoned.
You would think that after seventeen years of friendship I would have stopped falling for it.
Nearly five minutes later, Talley pulled herself out of my embrace, wiping the remaining tears from her face. I had to swipe a hand over my cheeks, too. It seems I never quite got out of the habit of crying right along with her.
"You really do need to get something to eat," she said. "I'll go down in the record books as the worst Seer ever if I let a Shifter pass out from hunger."
Talley followed me to the kitchen downstairs, keeping up an overly-enthusiastic monologue about the travesty of being able to burn through five thousand calories just by taking a nap. I couldn't tell if she was trying to break the tension or if she was just jealous of my new eat-all-you-want-plus-more-and-never-gain-an-ounce diet plan.
No one was home, which was a relief. I wasn't ready to face my parents again and talking to Angel would have required more enthusiasm than I was willing to muster at the moment. Jase was still with his Pack.
"How much do you remember about last night?" Talley asked as I slathered a piece of bread with a giant helping of peanut butter and honey. It was the best I could accomplish on my own. Anything else would have required cooking, which I am forbidden from attempting due to my tendency to set off smoke alarms.
"Ummm...everything?" I thought through the night in search of missing time or holes in my memory. My mental eye paused on a gray wolf with human eyes. "Yeah, I think I remember everything." Especially the Change parts. Pain like that didn't just erase itself from your memory, no matter how much you want it to. "Doesn't everybody?"
Talley rummaged through the fridge, opening various Tupperware containers and examining their contents. "The first Change is pretty traumatic. Some Shifters find it hard to reconcile their beast brain with their human brain."
"Because Wolf Scout doesn't think like Real Scout?"
Talley popped a container full of my favorite chicken casserole in the microwave. "Right. She depends more on instinct and sensory input than logic."
"Like how I kept getting distracted by bunny and squirrel trails?"
"Exactly. In wolf form the procurement of food is the highest of your priorities. Part of my job is to keep you from doing anything that will put yourself or your Pack at risk by doing something..."
"Stupid?"
"Ill-advised." The microwave beeped and she pulled the container out and divided its contents onto two plates. I was impressed with her mad cooking skills. I would have somehow managed to turn it into a rice, chicken, and cheese brick. "I check in with everyone throughout the night, forcing them to think as humans."
"What do they hear when you talk to them? Is it just like you're standing right there beside them, or is it like a cosmic intercom? Or do they just feel like a crazy person?"
Talley blew on a forkful of food, which was a smart thing to do. I was going to miss the top layer of skin on my tongue. "Don't you remember?"
I thought about the voice I heard the night before. It was sophisticated and authoritative, nothing like the chipper chatter coming from the girl in the chair across from me.
"You talked to me last night?"
"I asked who you were like three times before you pushed me out of your head." She stopped eating to look at me, her fork posed in mid-air. "How did you shut me out like that, by the way? I've only known one other Shifter who could do that."
I pushed her out? Huh. Maybe the head shake thing worked. "I don't know. I just didn't want someone talking in my head, and then they weren't." I scrapped the last bite off of my plate. "Who was the other Shifter?"
Talley shoved the rest of her food over to me before knotting her fingers into her hair. After her rather dramatic pause she practically whispered, "Liam Cole."
Of course Alex's brother could shut out a Seer. If a Shifter could do it, Liam could. He even managed a few things that were supposed to be impossible, like Shifting back human during a full moon. He was a super-werewolf, as dominant as Dominants came.
"But not Alex? You could talk to him?"
"Only when he would stop talking long enough for me to get a word in." She smiled at the memory. "It was mostly all 'Scout this' and 'Scout that'." Her smile was small and sad. "He was so in love with you."
I felt a familiar knot in my throat. "I loved him, too." I scraped up a rogue bit of cheese off the plate. "Tal, has anyone ever, I don't know, stayed a wolf? Like they got stuck in their animal form?"
Talley looked confused by the sudden change in topic. "I don't think so. Most Shifters can't manage to be in animal form more than a couple of hours a month, no matter how hard they try to Change. I can't imagine anyone being able to maintain their animal form permanently."
"But what if there was an accident? Something that made it impossible for them to survive in their human form?"
A frown tugged on the corners of Talley's mouth as she realized what I was asking. "I told you, Scout. That wasn't Alex you saw at the cemetery."
"That's not ---"
"He's dead, Scout. You know that, right?" Her bright blue eyes bore into mine. "Tell me that you understand that Alex is gone and never coming back."
"I was there when he died. I watched them put his coffin into the ground."
"And you still believed you saw him at his own funeral. Now, tell me you know that he's dead."
I thought again about the wolf in the woods, the one I saw on the day of the funeral. "Alex is dead," I said. "He's gone and never coming back."
The remainder of my afternoon passed fairly peacefully. I spent most of my time with Angel, who wasn't quite sold on the "I took a special pill and it made me all better" story. She felt a full physical was in order. It turns out that a seven-year old's version of a physical is a lot of finger poking and trying to pull your scars open. I was fairly certain my entire body would be covered with tiny, finger-tip sized bruises the next day.
When I wasn't being poked and prodded, I reread Dr. Smith's book on Shifters. I had the thing practically memorized, but I held onto a sliver of hope it would explain how a non-Shifter girl was able to Change. Sadly, no new chapters magically appeared to offer up some answers.
I drove my new car down to the Base that night. I was fully prepared to hate it because of where it came from, but it was just too cool. After an hour of being on the road together we had completely bonded, and I was more than a little in love. I named him George and promised to take care of him - keep the gas tank full, have the oil changed, check the air pressure in the tires monthly and to never, ever let Jase leave his sweaty gym clothes in the back seat for a month during the hottest part of the summer. I knew from experience that a car would never be the same again after facing such abuse.
The entire Pack was already at Gramma's when I arrived. They milled around the back yard where Grampa had constructed a fire pit decades ago. I always thought it was a rather elaborate set up for a place to roast marshmallows and hotdogs. The pit was surrounded by beautifully handcrafted benches made from entire halves of oak trees, each large enough to sit four adults comfortably. They were arranged into three rows of five that semi-circled the pit. Fifteen benches for a small family was excessive, but it suited the needs of a large Pack of Shifters nicely.
I made my way towards the fire pit where some of the younger Shifters roasted hotdogs while the older ones manned the three grills loaded down with hamburgers, chicken, and pork chops. I had stopped by McDonald's for a super-sized Big Mac meal on the way down, but my stomach growled at the smell wafting through the air. I hoped my new Shifter metabolism was doing its thing, because otherwise I was going to weigh three hundred pounds by the end of the week.
"You came." Makya stepped in front of me, blocking my path. "You do have brass ones, don't you?"
I let out a frustrated sigh. "I don't have any at all, Makya. In case you haven't noticed, I'm a girl. Now, for the second time today, could you please get out of my way?"
Makya's eyes took their time traveling up and down my body, finally affixing his leer on my chest. I felt more naked in my jeans and the faded Journey T-Shirt I stole from Dad's closet than I had in Talley's swimsuit cover-up. "I think you've moved well beyond girl, Scout." He reached out and grabbed a strand of my hair, brushing his thumb over the tips.
"If you don't take your hands off me I'm going to break every single one of your fingers."
"Oh, you like it rough, do you?"
Shifters are not preternaturally strong or fast. Instead, their muscles are simply in the best condition possible. Could I bench-press a Humvee or run so quickly human eye couldn't detect me? No. Could I pin Makya's hand behind his back so quickly ninja would be jealous? Damn straight I could.
"That's it, baby. Hurt me good."
Was he serious? How was I suppose to deal with an idiot who wanted me to hurt him?
"You do understand I can and will break your arm, right?"
He laughed. "I'm getting turned on just thinking about it."
Ewwww.
"Dude, I think she's just not that into you." Jase ambled up, a plate stacked high with food balanced on his hand.
"Hey, man. I was just getting to know your sweet little sister better. She is fine. I bet you're glad you're not really related so you can tap that." I moved my head out of the way just in time. As it was, Makya clipped my ear when his head collided with Jase's fist. I gave his arm an extra twist and muttered, "And I'm not his little sister," before tossing him face-first on the ground.
"I fixed you a plate," Jase said, ignoring the litany of curses coming from his blood-splattered cousin on the ground and the gawking stares surrounding us.
I met Jase's eyes, my stomach giving a now familiar lurch. Everything else became nothing more than background noise as he soundlessly offered me the food. I might not have been on top of Shifter customs, but in my heart I knew accepting it meant something. The question was, was it something I was willing to give him? If it was forgiveness, then no. I wasn't ready, and very well may never be. But was I willing to begin considering the possibility? To start rebuilding what was once the most important relationship in my life? Could I do that without betraying Alex or myself?
As I weighed the possible implications of taking him up on his offer, Jase's face began to slowly crumble, making my decision for me. "Thank you," I said, taking the food from him. He was my brother. I had to at least give us a chance to fix what was broken between us.
I stepped over Makya's prostrate form and made my way to the place where Talley was looking from me to the beaten coyote on the ground and back again. I had already devoured a hotdog and half a cheeseburger by the time I made the twelve steps it took me to get there.
"Let me guess. That wasn't proper Shifter etiquette." I wiped some mustard off the corner of my mouth and contemplated whether I wanted ribs or a pork chop next.
"Etiquette-wise you were fine. It's the besting Makya part that has people a little shocked."
"Why? Makya is a loser. I could have taken him without the lycan advantage."
"Scout, Makya is one of the highest ranked juvenile Shifters in the Pack. There are only five people above him."
Makya was suppose to be strong and dominant? That was just sad. "Who are the five?"
Talley raised her eyebrows as if I was missing something obvious. "Toby, Jase, Charles, Charlie, and Robby."
I choked on a bite of ribs and desperately wished Jase had thought to grab me a Mello Yello. "Jase and Charlie? Seriously? Like Jase Jase and Charlie Charlie?"
"How many other Jases and Charlies do you see around here?"
The dynamic duo in question were standing off to the side of the crowd with Toby and a few men I didn't recognize. Jase and Charlie flanked Toby, and I noticed none of the other men would meet their eyes as they talked to them. "Jase and Charlie are Dominant?"
"Their grandfather was made Pack Leader at the unprecedented age of eighteen. Jason took his place when he turned twenty-two. After Jason's death there was a bit of unrest, some of the cousins felt they were more capable of taking over than Charles was. He had to take on a lot of challenges, but he managed to keep the top spot until Toby was ready to take over." Charlie's dad, I noticed, was keeping to himself. He was also on his second case of beer for the evening by the glassy look in his eyes. "No one has ever challenged Toby because there is no need, he was obviously the most dominant."
"Was?"
Talley looked around to see if anyone seemed interested in our conversation. There were several eyes glancing in our direction on a regular basis, but most everyone seemed more interested in talking about me than finding out what I was saying. "I don't think anyone is paying attention to us," I said.
Talley nodded towards the edge of the yard where Gramma's ancient a/c hummed loudly. Catching on quickly, I walked over close enough that our voices would be drowned out without being too obvious to our intent.
"So, who is the up and comer? And please don't say Makya, because that would be a very sad commentary on the strength of this Pack."
"I already told you, Makya isn't in the top five."
"You think Robby can take Toby?" The Hagan in question sat on one of the benches, engaged in a lively exchange with a guy whose name might have been Mason. While Toby was lean and cut, Robby was built more like a linebacker. I could see where the fight would be close, but my money was still on Toby.
"Robby? Not a chance." When she didn't automatically continue I prompted her with an impatient wave of my hand. "It's Jase. I think if he wanted, he could take over the Pack."
"Delusional Talley says what?"
With the chaos my life was becoming, it was somehow comforting to hear Talley sigh at me in that exasperated way of hers. "You can't see it because you're too close."
"Don't see what?" From where I was standing all I could see was the brother who couldn't remember to put the toilet seat down and had lost three different sets of keys in the past year. "Doesn't leading a Pack require a responsibility prerequisite?"
"Responsibility can be learned, but what Jase has..." A couple of the younger Shifters wandered close to where we were talking. Talley stepped closer, linked her arm with mine, and rested her head on my shoulder. It was a familiar pose, one we assumed many times after some jerk trampled all over Talley's feelings. This time, though, she wasn't seeking comfort so much as way to get close enough we could lower our voices. "Haven't you ever noticed the way other people react to him? The way people can't help but be aware of him when he's in a room? The way people always seem so eager to try to please him, to do something to make him proud?"
As she talked, it was almost as if I could see him through Talley's eyes. Jase standing in the middle of a crowd, everyone focused on him; walking down a crowded hall, the masses shifting so so he had an easy passage to wherever he was going.
"And he's a strong Shifter. Even as a newbie he could Change more quickly than Toby, and he takes lead on any hunt he goes on."
"But it's Jase..."
"He's going to be our next Pack Leader."
"If you say so..."
"I do." Her blue eyes twinkled in the firelight. "And you know how often I'm wrong."
"Rarely." I jumped at the sound of Toby's voice. Sneaking up on a Shifter was not easy. "Which is rather unfortunate," I thought I heard him quietly complain. Surely he hand't overheard us. Talley spoke so softly I barely heard her, and my ear was approximately four inches from her mouth. "Scout, we're ready to start. Would you mind accompanying me up front?"
"No problem, Boss Man. You lead, and I'll follow." I gave a salute, not realizing I was copying Jase's earlier action until it was too late.
"And they wonder why I think she's going to be a problem," Toby said to no one in particular.
Toby sat me on one of the front benches, and then went to sit on the edge of the stone wall surrounding the fire pit. Embers popped out of the fire and danced around him, but he seemed unconcerned, even when one burned a hole in the arm of his shirt.
"I'm not going to waste everyone's time and talk about why we're here. Everyone knows what happened last night and has already offered their opinion on what we should do. Someone was even considerate enough to make up little ballots so that everyone could have a vote as to what the wolf's fate should be.
"Guess what? This isn't a democracy." Toby stood up and the mood of the entire group shifted. This wasn't a family conversation around the fire, this was a Pack Leader addressing his Pack. "This is my decision and mine alone. Anyone who has a problem with it is more than welcome to challenge me." Despite being a coyote, Toby managed a wicked wolfish grin. "I look forward to it actually."
I had sparred with Toby enough times to know it was going to take more than strength, ambition, and anger to take him down. Like Talley, I was certain no one here was up to the challenge just yet.
"You've come to a decision?" Mrs. Matthews stood to the right of the fire pit. In the Pack social structure she was ranked just below Toby.
"I wouldn't have ask you all to come out here if I hadn't." He moved into a pool of light created by the nearly full moon like an actor stepping into the beam of a spotlight. "The fact of the white wolf's existence will be kept secret by all members of this Pack, including the Seers." Mrs. Matthews let out an audible gasp. "Unless specifically questioned by the Alpha Pack, anyone caught divulging information about the white wolf will face the most severe of punishments."
I wasn't a hundred precent sure, but I strongly suspected that the most severe punishment was equal to capital punishment. I also wasn't exactly sure how I felt about that. However, I was fairly certain I wasn't totally loving being referred to as "the white wolf". It reminded me too much of Narnia.
"Miss Donovan?" He indicated I should stand up, so I did.
"Mr. Hagan?"
"I'm giving you the land enclosed within the border of Lake County. Please know that if you cross the boundary you will be dealt with as if you were any other lone Shifter facing a second trespass on Pack territory."
Toby looked at me, waiting for a reaction, and I waited for the words he said to make sense. "Sorry, but you're going to have to run that by me one more time in non-Shifter speak."
Jase coughed into his hand to cover up his laughter.
"I giving you your own territory - Lake County. If you don't stay there, you're going to be punished."
"Severely?"
Toby's face was hard. "Severely."
I took a moment to think about what he said. "So, you're kicking me out?"
"You don't belong with us," he said. "I'm being very generous here, Miss Donovan."
The Pack was abandoning me and leaving me on my own. "Thank you?" I was at a complete loss. "So, what? I leave now and never come back? Is that it?"
Toby nodded. "And you should also know that if you do anything that puts my Pack at risk, I will be forced to remove the threat of exposure."
I was going to have to write down all the different things that would cause Toby to kill me.
A bit of movement caught my eye, and I turned to find Charlie standing behind me. Realizing he finally had my attention, he dropped down on one knee, his head bowed.
"I pledge myself to you, Scout Donovan. I devote my life to being of your Pack."
What the Hades was happening now?
Jase seemed to magically appear by my side and dropped down next to Charlie. "I pledge myself to you, Scout Donovan. I devote my life to being of your Pack."
You know those dreams when you're on a stage in front of a packed house and you don't know any of your lines? It was kinda like that, but worse because it wasn't a dream, and I worried that saying the wrong lines would end up with me getting that severe punishment Toby was so keen on. I looked to Talley for help, and thought she was coming to my rescue until she dropped down on her knee and repeated the now familiar refrain, "I pledge myself to you, Scout Donovan. I devote my life to being of your Pack."
Cheater. I would be able to do my lines if I heard two other people already deliver them, too.
"What are you doing?" I hissed at her through clenched teeth.
She peered up at me through her eyelashes. "Well, it's not like I'm going to let you three go off and start your own Pack without me."
Our own Pack? That's what this was? They were asking to come with me?
I made the mistake at looking at Toby, who looked mad enough to punish us all at the same time.
I didn't have much of a choice. The three of them looked like they were waiting to be knighted, but I seemed to be missing a sword. I had to make do as best as I could.
Relying solely on knowledge gleaned from movies and books, I approached the three of them. "I accept you?" Their heads stayed bowed, so I continued. "And devote myself to you?" Apparently that did the trick, because the three of them stood up in unison.
"What the Hell do you think you're doing?" Uncle Charles moved through the rest of the Pack in a rage. "Are you going to turn your back on your family for her? She doesn't want you in her Pack. She can't even stand to look at you."
"I owe her," Charlie mumbled. "I took a life from her, so I owe mine in return."
"Not much of a trade is it, darling?" he asked me. "You lose your big, strong wolf boyfriend and get this coward instead."
My skin vibrated with anger, the wolf clawing to the forefront. "I'd rather have him than a useless drunk like you." I moved between Charlie and his father. "If you want him back, you'll have to take him from me."
For a second I thought he might try it, but he finally relented. "He was nothing but a burden anyway." He looked over my shoulder at his son. "You have an hour to get your stuff out of my house. Anything left, I'll burn."
The next few hours flew by in a haze. Talley was also newly homeless, although her mother managed to kick her out without making a big public display specifically designed to humiliate her. She merely suggested Talley not be home when she finished her meeting with Toby.
While I helped Talley throw most of her belongings into black garbage bags, the preferred luggage choice of displaced teens everywhere, Jase helped Charlie. Despite the feelings of blame and betrayal still sitting heavily in my chest, I found myself worrying about them. What if they didn't get out before Charles' one hour time limit? What if other members of the Pack decided they didn't like the idea of them leaving?
I was simultaneously relieved and anxious to see both Jase's car and Charlie's truck in my driveway when I got home. I didn't know what to say or how to act, but fortunately we were too busy to do either.
We spent most of the night rearranging the garage so we could store some of Charlie and Talley's things, and making room for them in our bedrooms. It was well after midnight when I collapsed across the air-mattress I had been wrestling sheets onto for the last twenty minutes. I was glad girls didn't have the same issues with sharing a bed as boys. There was no way I had the energy to do that again.
"Can I just fall asleep here?" I asked no one in particular.
"You're the Pack Leader," Talley said plopping down on Jase's bed, which proved she was a much braver soul than me. I might be disorganized and fond of clutter, but Jase had a tendency to grow his own antibiotics on accident. "You get to do pretty much what you want."
"Yeah, about that." I tried to sit up, but ended up just rolling around like a drunk turtle flipped on its back. "While I appreciate the sentiment and am very much happy to not be exiled by my lonesome, I'm not really into this whole Pack Leader thing."
"What do you mean 'not into this whole Pack Leader thing'?" Jase asked from his closet where he was making room for Charlie's clothes.
"I mean I'm not Toby, I don't want be some hard-ass bossing you guys around all the time. Can't we be a group of equals? This is the United States of America and the twenty-first century after all. That supreme leader stuff went out of style like two hundred years ago."
"Doesn't work that way," Talley said from the cocoon she had made herself out of Jase's vintage Spider-Man comforter. "There has to be a Pack Leader and in this Pack that's you."
"Why? How about Jase?" I dipped my head off the side of the air mattress. "Hey, Jase! Wanna be Pack Leader?"
The door swung open and Charlie came through with an armload of boxes. I realized I was laying across his bed and tried to jump up, which was impossible. I ended up on landing on all fours directly at his feet.
"I pledged my loyalty to you, not Jase," he said stepping around me. "You're the Pack Leader, now get off the floor and act like it."
My parents didn't have a problem with the addition of two new kids in their house. Charlie and Talley both spent more time at our house than theirs most summers anyway. I'm guessing they didn't see it as a big change. Dad simply re-assigned household chores, and Mom promised to buy more groceries on her way home from the hospital. Neither questioned why they were there or how long they intended to stay. Maybe they realized they would really rather not know.
After they both scuttled off to their respective jobs, I was left alone with my new Pack and one very hyper little sister.
"Angel, could you please go upstairs and play?" I asked the prima ballerina jumping and spinning around the table on which I was trying not to lay my head down and go back to seep. I'd spent most of the previous night listening to Talley snore while growing a ginormous crop of ulcers.
Angel pirouetted into the refrigerator, knocking several magnets to the floor. "No," was her very succinct answer.
"Please? We need to have a grown-up conversation." And my nerves were going to be nonexistent if she didn't stop moving around so much. We were just two days past the full moon. My wolf-y sense were still tingling, and Angel was causing a sensory overload.
"You can't have a grown-up conversation. You're not grown-ups."
"Angel---"
"I'll let you play my X-Box," Jase said, bringing her to an abrupt stop.
"Can I play a shooting game?"
"Yes," he answered right over the top of my "no." Angel raced up the stairs, only hearing the answer she wanted.
And then there was complete and utter silence as Jase, Charlie, and Talley all looked at me expectantly. I cleared my throat and searched for something profound to say. Nothing came.
"So, what now?" I asked, sounding exactly like the strong, all-knowing leader I was.
"First," Jase said, pointing across the table at Talley, "she goes and pledges herself back to the Hagan Pack. With any luck, she'll get there when Toby is in a forgiving mood."
"You don't give orders, Jase." Talley's voice was even and calm, but I could see her fingernails digging into her palms. "I'm staying here. End of story."
"No, you're going back to where you belong."
"I belong with the Pack Leader I swore allegiance to."
Jase half-rose, his arms braced on the table in front of him. "You don't get that choice. Now go home before it's too late." The cords on his neck stood at attention, threatening to break through the skin. I was more than a little afraid for Talley's well-being.
"Jase, sit. Now." He scowled, but obeyed. "Now, explain," I said, certain I was missing some very important piece of information.
Jase and Talley were too busy glaring at each other to respond, so I forced my eyes to the one place I'd been training them not to look all morning.
"How much do you know about Seers?" Charlie asked, barely looking up from his fifth cup of coffee.
I shrugged. "The basics, I guess. Girls with special gifts, passed from mother to daughter. They work with Shifter Packs..." Something occurred to me. "Hey, you're like my Vice President," I said to my best friend.
"Exactly." The death-glare she leveled on Jase turned into a smirk. "And I say I'm staying."
At that Jase really did explode. He was around the table and in Talley's face before his chair smacked the tiled floor with a deafening thwack. "What the hell is your problem? Do you want them to drag you back to that backwoods mountain and force you to squeeze out a litter of pups? Is that what you want? Do you want to go back there?" Jase's body was literally vibrating with anger.
"Sit!" I commanded, moving between my brother and a now sobbing Talley. "You." I pointed at Charlie. "Explain. Now."
"Seers are bound to the Pack their born into. Usually, it's not a big deal. It's where they grew up, where they belong." He gave Talley a small, sad smile and I began to see where this was going. "Talley, however, was born into the Matthews Pack, but grew up with the Hagan Pack. She was originally supposed to go back to the Matthews Pack on her fifteenth birthday, but ---"
"But her powers hadn't developed yet." I handed Talley a paper towel, unable to locate a tissue.
"Yeah. They still wanted her, but since she wasn't able to See, they didn't fight too hard when Toby petitioned to keep her. In the end, they accepted a monetary compensation for their loss."
"You bought her?"
"The Hagan Pack bought her," Jase answered, still fuming. "And it was a conditional purchase. She was to stay in the Hagan Pack. Now that she's left, they'll see the contract as null and void---"
"And they'll want her back, Super-Seer skills and all."
Jase's smile wasn't pleasant. "You always were the smart one."
I looked down at Talley, who was finally pulling herself together. "Are they exaggerating?"
She shook her head, eyes downcast.
In all the years Talley and I've known each other, I've met her father exactly once. There were about three years where Mr. Matthews decided he wanted his daughter to spend six weeks of the summer with him in addition to the week she spent in Eastern Kentucky every Christmas. At the age of eleven, six weeks seemed like a lifetime, and I was convinced I would shrivel up and perish while she was away. My parents, being the kind of loving folks who don't want to see their child die from loneliness, arranged a family vacation touring the eastern half of the state with a special stop in Frenchburg to visit with Talley.
Angel was a baby, so Mom stayed in the motel room that smelled like rotten eggs while Dad drove Jase and I out to the Matthews' compound. It was unlike anything I had ever seen before. The whole family lived in a cluster of houses at the end of a road that wound between two mountains. Talley said they called it Matthews Holler, and I wondered if it was because all you had to do was holler out your door to talk to any of your family members.
Mr. Matthews was a rough looking man. His hair was dark and wavy like Talley's, but it looked like someone in a bad mood attacked it with kitchen shears. His face was weather-worn and etched with a hundred tiny lines. Talley always said her dad was old, much older than her mom, but I never imagined him to be grandpa old. Yet, despite his rough appearance, his blue eyes shone with kindness as I ran up the porch steps and flung my arms around my long-lost best friend.
While Mr. Matthews seemed to like me and my dad well enough, he had very little patience for Jase, who grew fidgety the moment we stopped the car. He refused to sit down, preferring to pace around, constantly looking over his shoulder like he thought a black bear was going to come charging down the mountainside at any given moment. The second time Mr. Matthews snapped at Jase, Dad announced it was time to go.
We took Talley out to dinner at a local restaurant called "Cantuckee Cookin'", the purposeful misspelling causing major annoyance on my part. Surprisingly, it was Jase who spent the majority of the meal trying to talk our parents into taking Talley back home with us. He was convinced she didn't belong in that world. Dad patiently tried to explain that just because Appalachian culture was somewhat different than what we were used to, it wasn't necessarily wrong.
In the end we dropped Talley off at her father's house, she and I in tears and Jase pouting in the backseat. When Talley told him goodbye, he wrapped his arms around her in a bone-crushing hug and said, "You belong with us, not them."
At the time I thought he was being really sweet, telling her we were her true family. Of course, I had no knowledge of Shifters, Seers, and Packs at the time. I didn't realize he was talking about her as if she was a piece of property.
Crap. I honestly didn't know what we were dealing with, but I did know my best friend wasn't something to be owned.
"Tal, where do you want to be?"
"Here." Her chin rose a fraction of an inch. "I want to be here with you, in your Pack."
"Good." Because there was no way I could handle Jase and Charlie, especially Charlie, without her. "Then you stay."
Jase growled. "And what do we do when the Matthews Pack comes to take her back? There is, what? Twenty? Twenty-five of them?"
"Eighteen are Changing," Talley answered. "There are four little boys, but none of them will be Changing for at least another three or four years."
"Eighteen versus three. I might not be a math genius, but those sound like some sucky odds to me."
I found my way back to my chair and half-collapsed into it. "What are our options?"
"Send her back to Toby where she belongs, or get ourselves slaughtered by a Pack of hillbillies."
"Talley isn't a slave, Jase. She's staying here."
"A slave? Don't be melodramatic. She's a Seer. There are rules."
A sudden flash of anger, the wolf straining under my flesh. "Screw your rules. Talley is staying, end of story. As far as I'm concerned, you're looking at the new Seer Underground Railroad."
Jase glared, his jaw tight. "You're being reckless."
"And you're seriously pissing me off." My nails were digging into the wood of the table, a seriously amazing feat considering it took some effort to knick its surface with a knife. I would probably freak out over the whole monster-like bizarreness of it later, but at the moment I was just grateful to have something to claw into other than Jase's pretty face.
"You're the Pack Leader. It's your job to protect her."
"It's my job to be a freaking human being and do the right thing."
"The right thing? Bullshit. You're going to do what you always do, what's right for Scout."
There are very few humans who can use their arms to hoist themselves onto a table and then jump four feet with pinpoint accuracy, but for a Shifter it's apparently not a big deal because I managed without giving it much thought at all. Unfortunately, the person I leapt onto was also a Shifter, and the two seconds it took me to complete the move was more than sufficient time for him to prepare a defense. Instead of toppling Jase to the floor, like I planned, I found myself being flung towards the stove.
"Dammit," I hissed as my hand came down on an eye which hadn't quite hit the cooled off stage and my knee banged against the cabinet. I knew at least half of my hand was burnt, but I couldn't feel any pain.
You know how they do that slo-mo thing in superhero movies? The soundtrack goes silent, leaving just Superman and the clicking of the gun, the little flash of fire, and the piece of metal cutting slowly through the air? My Shifter abilities didn't work that way.
I still heard everything. The hum of electricity running to various kitchen appliances. The woosh of air coming out of the vents. The gunfire, screams, and mildly disturbing giggles coming from Jase's room where Angel was playing video games. Despite the fact she was upstairs and on the other end of the house, I could still hear the steady sound of her heartbeat just as clearly as the sharp intake of breath from Talley, who was only three feet away. I could hear Charlie's muttered curse and the soft scrape of Jase's socks on the tile as he turned towards me.
It should have been too much. It almost was too much, but unlike before my Change, my brain instinctively knew how to filter through and process the plethora of information being thrown at it.
I dropped to the ground just quick enough to feel the breeze from Jase's fist across the top of my head. There was a slight sting as my burnt hand hit the cold floor, causing me to almost lose balance as I pivoted, bringing my left leg around to sweep Jase's feet, which were no longer there. There was the briefest look of triumph in his eyes before my fist slammed into his stomach.
From that moment on, there was no holding back. Jase and I had been sparring with one another since we were kids, but this was different. This was a fight, a battle between two Shifters at their most primitive. Every strike was intended to cause harm. And when Jase's pants began to stain red after his leg crashed through a kitchen chair, I felt joy.
In reality, the fight didn't last long, but in the heat of the moment I felt as if we had been going at it forever, and might have if the back door hadn't slammed open admitting one of the few people who could stop my bloodlust cold.
"Scout, stop!" Mom screamed, flying through the mud room towards the melee. "You're hurting him! Stop!"
And just like that, the otherness that had taken over - the part of me that was nothing but pain and rage, the wolf - was gone. My hands immediately unclenched, one releasing a handful of my brother's hair while the other freed the arm pinned behind his back. For a moment all I could see was a smear of blood on the blue and white tiles, although I was aware of the shattered furniture and destruction around me.
"Aunt Rebecca, don't!" Charlie exclaimed from the safety of the formal dining room no one ever used, causing Mom to freeze with one outstretched hand just inches from my shoulder. If the sight of Jase's blood decorating our once pristine kitchen wasn't enough to convince me of the animal I had become, the look of fear and disgust on my mother's face was.
"I'm sorry," I said, my chin trembling so ferociously I could barely push the words out. "I didn't mean to do it. I'm sorry."
Instead of pulling me into a hug and telling me it was going to be okay, she kept her distance, wariness evident in every inch of her posture. "Will you let me check and see how bad he's hurt?" Instead of answering, I bolted out the door.
"Jase is going to be okay."
I leaned into the driver's seat, sighing in relief. Of course, I already knew he was okay - my ears stayed trained on his vital signs and Mom's auditory assessment even as I fled the house - but it was a comfort to hear the words. Even more comforting was the fact Mom came outside to find me, not that the finding part was hard. My plan had been to get in my new car and drive off. The problem was, I was completely pinned in by Talley's vehicle.
"Let me see your hand," Mom said, opening a plain white jar. "Charlie said you burned it."
"It's not that bad." As long as you didn't consider agonizingly painful "bad". "It's just a couple of blisters."
Mom peeled back my fingers, the sting so intense my hand itched to smack her for her efforts. "Harper Lee," she hissed. "What did you do? Grab a hot skillet without an oven mitt again?"
"Slapped my hand down on the hot stove, actually."
"Why would you...? Nevermind." She gently spread a cool white cream over the burn, the mixture of her touch and the ointment easing some of the pain. "Any other injuries I need to know about?"
"Nope."
"Then why did you limp out of the house?"
"Ran into the business end of a kitchen cabinet handle. No big."
"And the reason you can't lift your right arm?"
"Just a bruised rib or two. I've had worse."
There was a break in the rhythm of the caresses across my palm. "You know, I honestly can't remember a time when you weren't covered in scrapes and bruises. I would blame it on you trying to keep up with the boys if they weren't always struggling to keep up with you." You couldn't miss the sadness in her voice.
"Do you ever wish I was different? That I was more like Angel?" My sister was the living embodiment of "girl". Mom delighted in her penchant for fashion and socializing.
Mom chuckled as she put the lid back on the ointment. The smile on her face was genuine as she tried to figure out the cup holder, causing a bit of my tension to loosen.
"A girly Scout. Now there would be something to behold." She brushed the hair from my shoulder and I had to blink back the tears. "Strong. Intelligent. A bit of a smart alec and growing up way too fast for her parents' comfort. That's the Scout I love. If you were too busy painting your nails and going on shopping sprees to tumble with the boys, you wouldn't be you."
I looked out across the forest surrounding our house, watched as the sun shining through the leaves danced across the grassy floor where two squirrels scampered to and fro. I wondered if Mom could even see them at this distance. I knew she couldn't smell them, that she didn't want to chase them down and...
I sucked in a deep breath, shaking that thought from my head.
"I don't know who I am anymore," I admitted, my heart in my throat.
"You're you, Sweetie. You will always be you, no matter what happens."
"I threw Jase through a kitchen chair. That's not me. That's---" I stopped myself, unable to say it and knowing she didn't want to hear it.
"And two years ago you gave him a black eye with a baseball bat."
"That was an accident." I'm really bad at organized sports.
"And so was this."
I wanted to believe her. Desperately. But I remembered what Talley said. Wolf Scout was still me. She was the Scout who operated off emotion and instinct instead of rules and logic. Part of me, the real me, had wanted to hurt Jase like he had hurt me.
"I don't want to be a monster."
Mom turned, her hand warm on my arm. "Then don't be."
\*\*\*
After Mom went back inside and I ceased to be amazed at the cool silver color my hand turned, I found myself wandering in the woods. Going back into the house meant seeing how bad I'd hurt Jase and trying to avoid Charlie, who I found myself aching to be near despite everything. And, of course, that just made me feel guilty and disloyal and whole bunch of other really crappy emotions. Solitude and fresh air seemed like a much better option.
It was weird though, being out in the wild. As kids, we all spent most of our waking hours outside exploring and building forts and all those other normal little kid things, but as we grew up, we found ourselves spending less and less time with Mother Nature. We were too busy juggling a million different activities and full social calendars. (Okay, Jase's calendar was full and mine mostly involved reading books or hanging out with Talley.) When we did find ourselves with free time, we stayed in the air-conditioning, face glued to a computer or TV screen.
Walking down old foot paths and splashing through the creek, I mourned the loss of carefree summer days spent in the woods. I had forgotten the beauty of wild flowers bursting out of the ground and the pleasure gained from letting the sun warm your face.
Without conscious thought, I ended up at the same patch of forest where I once watched snow fall on Christmas night. My fingers skated across the crumbling bark of a fallen tree. Memories were like a real, living thing in the air around me. A dimpled smile. Laughing grey eyes. A kiss under the stars and snow.
Grampa Hagan died when I was twelve. At his funeral, his sister Kathy flung herself across the casket, screaming and sobbing. When I remarked on the scene, Dad had been quick to tell me not to be so judgmental. "Grief is a power thing, Scout," he said, his voice still carrying the loss of his first wife. "The pain overpowers all reason. People behave in ways they would never dreamt possible. You never know how you'll react to someone you love being ripped from you until it happens."
I silently took his sage fatherly advice, but knew when the day came, I wouldn't be getting snot all over the casket spray. I never would've believed that five years later I would be found face down on the ground, tears turning the dirt to mud.
"His scent has been gone for months."
I knew he was right, but still I didn't move. He had stood on this spot and kissed me for the first time. He had been real and alive and mine. Why could I smell the footprints of mice, birds, and rabbits, but not him?
"Come on, Scout." A gentle hand tugging the hair off my face. A whisper of lips atop my head. "I brought you some food."
"I'm not hungry." My heart hurt too much to eat. Whoever said God wouldn't give you more than you could handle was a liar. Alex. Changing. Talley. Charlie. Jase. It was all too much for me.
I expected him to either keep badgering me or leave, but instead Jase just sat on the ground beside me, uncharacteristically silent. Eventually the tears stopped falling and I began to feel ridiculous wallowing on the ground. Jase passed a bottle of water without comment after I pulled myself up.
"What are Charlie and Talley doing?" I could sense them somewhere nearby, but not close enough to actually scent or hear them.
"They're giving us much needed sibling bonding time."
"Talley's words."
"Verbatim." He offered me a Snickers, but I refused.
Jase's lip was split open and bruises were forming all over his face, neck, and arms. He was wearing shorts, so the huge bandage covering his leg was evident, as was the blood which had managed to soak through.
"This is were I'm supposed to apologize, isn't it?"
"What? No. What do you have to apologize for?"
"Jase, I literally tried to rip out your throat."
"One, I deserved it. Two, dominance challenges are a normal part of Shifter life. And three, you're my Pack Leader, and I questioned you. You're supposed to do that. Toby once broke Makya's arm because he disagreed with our dinner selection."
"Toby broke Makya's arm just because he wanted a pizza?"
"We had pizza. Makya wanted barbecue, and he was being more than a little obnoxious about it."
I didn't doubt the obnoxious part, but even that didn't warrant a broken appendage. I took a swig of water to wash down the bile in the back of my throat. "That's insane."
"That's Shifter politics. A Pack member doesn't question the Pack Leader. Ever."
"And if the Pack Leader is wrong?"
"Worst case scenario? People die."
Crawling back onto the ground and burying my face in the mud for the rest of eternity was an appealing prospect. "Jase, I can't do this. I can't decide what I want for lunch half the time. How am I supposed to make choices when the wrong one might end up with you dead?" Even with the problems between Jase and me, the thought of him still and lifeless was unbearable. "What if they come for Talley and take her away? How will I be able to live with myself then?"
"You're seventeen years old," Jase said. "You've been a Shifter for all of two days, and yet I swore my allegiance to you over Toby. Want to know why?"
"Because you're certifiable?"
A smile I hadn't realized I missed until it spread across Jase's face wormed its way into my heart. "Because I know you'll always do the right thing. You're like some crazy do-right robot. The moment someone so much as suggests doing something different you're all 'Does not compute. Does not compute.'"
I laughed at his sad attempt at a robotic voice, but the sound was hollow. My eyes skirted to the felled log to my right. I wanted to be the girl Jase was talking about, but I wasn't. I was all too familiar with making the wrong choices, with the consequences of those choices.
"I'll tell Talley to go back to Toby."
"Good," Jase said, then dropped his head with a sigh. "No, don't. You were right the first time. It should be her choice. She'll never forgive us if we send her away."
I looped my arm through his and rested my head on his shoulder. "She'll understand we're just trying to protect her."
"Sometimes when you try too hard to protect the people you care about, you end up hurting them instead."
"Jase---"
"No. Let me say this." He pulled away from me, turning so we were face to face. "I know it doesn't change anything, but I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you. Seeing you lying in the hospital bed, knowing I did that to you..." Tears clung to his dark eyelashes. "I've never hated anything as much I hated myself for hurting you."
"It was the coyote, not you," I said, grabbing his hand. It broke my heart to see him so shattered. He was Jase. Strong, confident, annoyingly arrogant Jase. He should never look like that. Guilt sat heavy in my stomach from the knowledge that I had let him suffer for weeks out my own selfishness. "I didn't understand before, but now I do. What our animals do, it's uncontrolled. Unpredictable."
"God, if only I could use that excuse." He rubbed his eyes with the heel of his free hand. "But Coyote Jase and Human Jase merged into Jase the Screw-Up a long time ago."
That could happen? The wolf and I could merge? I couldn't even fathom what that would mean.
"I know you didn't mean to hurt me," I said, leaving out the other half of that statement, the half that acknowledged what he had intended. That half would take much longer for me to forgive. "I should have said so earlier, I was just so---"
"Do you hear that?" Jase bounced up, tugging me with him. "Charlie and Tal are probably ready to send out a search party. We should go."
"Jase---"
"Talley is probably frantic. You know how she gets." He flashed another classic Jase smile, tinted with mischief and arrogance. "Ready to see how fast you can run, Pack Leader?"
I needed to say my apologies, but it was clear he wasn't hearing them, so instead I got into position. "Ready..."
"Set..."
"Go!" we screamed in unison before streaking across the forest floor.
\*\*\*
"Why don't we all just agree it was a tie and move on with our lives?" Talley peeled what appeared to be a hundred year old gym sock off the ground and added it to the pile of limbs and other debris she and Charlie gathered up off the lawn. Somehow I forgot Dad's decree that today we were supposed to do yard work while I was traipsing through the woods.
"Because I won," I said between pants. The run had been long and hard. Not only were we both injured, but between bad thunderstorms and the Ice Apocalypse a few winters back, there seemed to be more limbs on the ground than in the trees. There was an intense amount of jumping and dodging.
I loved every single moment of it.
"No, you didn't." Jase was lying flat on his back in the middle of the grass. "I crossed into the yard first."
"But I reached Talley first. That was the finish line."
"No, it wasn't."
"Yes, it was."
Talley leaned against the porch where Charlie seemed to be taking a stare-off-into-space break. "Remember two days ago when they weren't speaking to each other? I'm already missing that."
"It certainly was quieter," Charlie agreed, a response that got him a hand gesture form Jase while I showed my feelings on the matter by extending my tongue in Talley's direction.
"Were you running full speed?" Charlie asked, his question clearly aimed at Jase since he refused to look in my direction.
"No. I'm breathing like a freaking freight train as I lie on the ground dying because I held back."
"And she still beat you."
"I crossed into the yard first!"
Charlie focused his attention on rolling a blade of grass between his fingers. "That's impressive for just after your first Change. Usually it takes a couple of times for your body to adjust and reach its full potential."
Talley raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow. "Maybe she hasn't reached her full potential."
"Or maybe it's because I could've outrun Jase before I got super-powers," I added helpfully.
Jase rose up on his elbows, leveling us all with a cool green stare. "I crossed into the yard first," he said, carefully enunciating each word.
"Seriously, there is no way to to know what it is Scout might grow into," Talley said, turning around, which resulted in her back receiving the full brunt of Jase's glare. "Fate obviously has special plans for her. She wouldn't have Changed otherwise."
I grabbed the rake someone left propped against the house, unable to just sit around and watch as Talley once again began to rid the grass of all the treasures which found their way into the yard over the course of the winter. The boys, however, didn't seem to have the same issues.
"So, since we're without a real, logical explanation as to why a non-Shifter is Changing, we're going to blame Fate?" My tone was a little nastier than I intended, but I couldn't help it. Destiny. Fate. They were just stupid words people threw out when they didn't want to take the time and effort to find the real cause of something.
"Maybe the old legends aren't legends after all," Charlie said, still lounging on the steps as Talley and I tried to work around Jase's supine form. "Jase's scratch ---"
"Haven't we already been over this at least a hundred times? I'm a coyote. Scout is a wolf. Contrary to uneducated belief, they are not the same animal."
"Did A... Did another Shifter scratch or bite you?" Charlie asked the spot just over my left shoulder.
I tried to swallow around the lump in my throat. "No."
"Are you sure?" Talley tapped her chin with the business end of a stick-cum-Slayer-stake. "That night was chaotic. It might have happened without you knowing it."
"No."
"But you don't remember---"
"I remember everything." At first it was only bits and pieces, but over the past month it all came back. I could remember every swipe of claws, every struggled breath. "Alex's claws and teeth never came anywhere near me." A half-truth, but they never broke the skin, which was all that mattered. No one else needed to know the details of the hours Alex and I spent together before all hell broke loose.
"What about the blood transfusion?" Talley asked. "Maybe the Shifter DNA had a viral effect of some sort."
"That sounds very scientific and all, but I'm still a coyote."
I stopped raking leaves out of Mom's now mutilated flower bed. "What blood transfusion?" I received lots of blood while I was unconscious, but this was the first time I had heard about any of it coming from Jase.
"Lake County was the closest hospital," Talley said, referring to the small rural hospital which had a grand total of four doctors and fifteen patient beds. "They had to stabilize you before transporting you down to Vandy, but they were low on blood because of a boating accident that afternoon. From the way everyone was acting, I'm thinking it was really against the rules, but Rebecca went all Tiger Mom and made them take some of Jase's blood and give it to you on the spot."
When Jase and I had to do blood typing our Junior year, we were delighted to discover we shared the rare AB-blood type. We joked about how it proved our status as twins. Of course, that was the same day we discovered Jase had an adverse reaction to needles. It took a solid week for people to stop offering to fetch him smelling salts.
"You gave me blood?" The last tendrils of betrayal loosened from my heart.
"Yes, I gave you blood. Coyote blood. If you need to write that down so you won't forget again, it's c-o-y-o-t-e."
"You let them stick you with a needle? For me?"
Jase sat up the rest of the way. "No needles. Sexy vampire. She bit me, then made you suck on her wrist. It was all very sexy and disturbing, but it probably explains why you're a Shifter now since one supernatural creature can create a totally different kind of supernatural creature and all."
Conversations with Jase were like lessons in hyperbole and sarcasm, and I had missed them more than I thought possible.
"How long before you fainted this time? Did you make it a whole minute?"
He lunged at me, but this time the wolf stayed buried. Apparently she knew the difference between a threat and play. And Jase was definitely in a mood to play. Our injuries made it impossible to do anything too boisterous, but we still tumbled across the yard, skirting around trees and using Talley as a shield. I felt lighter than I had in forever, even with the knowledge that Charlie, who normally would have jumped into the melee, was keeping his distance.
Jase had me in a headlock when Angel bounded out the back door. "You better stop right now," she said with a put-upon sigh. "You're already in big trouble."
Angel wasn't kidding. We were beyond trouble. Up until that June, my biggest punishment had been losing my phone and computer privileges for a week because I called Ashley Johnson, a friend turned reviled enemy, a name that rhymes with "cranky sassed witch" in front of my father and Miss Emily, my Sunday school teacher. Destroying the kitchen and almost killing your brother carries a much stiffer penalty.
Since the rest of the world thought I was still the not-so-proud possessor of a mutilated stomach, my parents decided it would be best for me to stay out of sight for the entire summer. Completely out of sight. As in, not leaving the house except for the nights my "condition" required it. And, as if being on house arrest wasn't bad enough, Mrs. Matthews called to inform my parents that the pre-Olympic schedule of one of the world's top costume designers simply didn't allow enough time to watch Angel over the summer, leaving me with the responsibility.
"But you guys are finally getting along better," Talley said as she attempted to mimic the stretching exercises I was showing her in the make-shift dojo Dad constructed in the loft over the garage. "It won't be that bad."
I twisted to the other side, laying my head on my knee. I got momentarily distracted by Jase and Charlie who skipped warm-up to mess around with the bokkens Toby would rarely let them use. They were mesmerizing to watch. Jase's speed and energy reminded me of a rabid hummingbird, but Charlie was able to deflect him with a lethal grace I'd never noticed before. You could barely see one of the muscles fleck in his bare chest before his sword would magically appear between Jase's blade and his flesh with an audible thwack.
"Angel is like a rich dessert," I said, snapping myself out of my reverie. "In small doses, she's wonderfully sweet, but get too much and you quickly get so sick of her you can't see straight."
"I don't know what you're whining about," Jase grumbled as he ducked away from Charlie. "Not only am I grounded for a whole freaking month, but I have to miss summer session and get a job." He accentuated each of his punishments with a bone-jarring swipe at Charlie.
I got to my feet and heard Talley do the same behind me, but was unable to pull my focus off the boys. A knot of conflicted emotions took up my entire chest cavity, turning the normally simple task of breathing into a labor intensive burden.
While shirtless Charlie was the main contributing factor to my emotion-induced asthma, he wasn't the only one. Jase and I were just starting to learn how to be post-accident Jase and Scout. It was going to be a long process, one that would always have the pain of Alex's broken body at its center. But I was willing to endure it because, despite everything, Jase was still my brother. I needed him. I needed us to be okay, and we wouldn't get to that point if he moved off to Lexington in two weeks to get a head start on classes and unofficially train with the rest of the basketball team. So I was happy Dad called the school and used our family's recent tragedy and my grandfather's name to ensure Jase could stay home all summer and not lose his place on the team.
Of course, delighting in Jase's misfortune didn't exactly get me Best Sister Ever points, hence some of that conflicted emotion.
"Scout, can we be done now?" Talley laid her head on my shoulder, batting her big blue eyes at me.
"I guess that's enough warming up for one day."
Her entire face fell. "Warming up?"
"Yep, and the boys are about done, too."
"You sure about that?"
I could see where her doubt stemmed from, the wooden swords were still whacking against each other in a continued, steady staccato rhythm, but Jase's feet were moving much slower. Then, as if on cue, Charlie feinted to the left, and when Jase followed, come down on the right side, delivering the killing blow.
"Bob Saget!" Jase cursed, slinging his bokken across the room in an easily anticipated bout of temper. Gracious loser and Jase Donovan were two terms that rarely kept company. "You would never have been able to do that if I wasn't still sore as hell from yesterday."
"Keep telling yourself that, pretty boy. Maybe one day you'll start to believe it."
"Time out," I said, sliding between the two. "No ninja monkey attacks. I've got a job for you, Jase."
"Does it involve polyester pants and a neon colored t-shirt bearing an annoying advertising slogan?"
"No."
"A lawn mower and/or weed eater?"
"No."
"Soap and car wax?"
"No, Jase..."
"Then your wish is my command, Pack Leader."
"I prefer Queen Scout or Your Royal Highness."
"How about Royal Pain?"
"How about you run through some simple drills with Talley before you get yourself in a heap of trouble, Underling?"
"You want me to train Talley?" Jase's mouth flattened into a straight line. "No."
"No?" Was he joking? He didn't sound like he was joking. "But we need to train her to defend herself, remember? We had this whole discussion about how if we were going to do the whole Seer Harriet Tubman thing then she needed to be able to fight just in case some crazy hillbilly really did try to grab her. Surely this sounds familiar. It was your idea."
"I meant for you to train her. You. Not me."
"Why not you?" Talley grabbed my arm and said my name in that please-don't-because-I'm-not-worth-it way of hers, which only managed to transform my confusion into major annoyance. "You're good with novices." When Toby made us help out with the younger kids, Jase's group always managed to actually learn something while Charlie's group was typically found running around the building like a bunch of wild banshees and my kids sat in a corner crying. "Is it because of that one time her mom sent her to practice with us when we were eight? Because that was nine years ago, and your uncle should have been wearing a cup."
"She's not touching me. My thoughts stay in my head."
I saw Talley discreetly wipe away a tear and had to swallow back a scream of frustration. "For the love of all things shiny, she's not going to go poking around in your head, Jase. Talley has no need in knowing what half the females at Lake County High look like naked."
"Whoa!" Jase's head jerked up, his eyes wide. "Did you just call me a man whore?"
"How is that worse than accusing one of your best friends of being a mental Peeping Tom?"
"She's a Soul Seer."
"And she has it under control."
"She has it under control most of the time." Talley brushed away another tear and this time Jase saw. It was like someone let all the air out of a balloon. His shoulders sank, his head fell slightly forward, and all the hard lines of his face slid away. "I'm sorry." He sounded like he really, truly was. "But it's my head. No one should be able to get in there but me."
"But---"
"No, he's right," Talley said, cutting me off. "My control isn't absolute, and Jase has a right to privacy. It's in the Constitution or something." She gave a watery smile. "Anyways, there was no way this was going to work. I'm the Alfred to your Super Friends. Me and the physical stuff just doesn't work out well. I mean, look at me."
"Tal..." Jase gave me a desperate look.
"Don't be stupid, Talley," I said, placing my hands on my hips. "You can and will learn to defend yourself. That's an order."
Her eyes narrowed. "I thought you didn't want to be a Pack Leader and give orders."
"And I thought you wanted to be your own person, free to choose which Pack you belong to."
There was an uncomfortable silence as Talley and I just stood there, staring each other down. I couldn't help but think that at one time Charlie would have stepped in at this point to say something clever to lighten the mood and then deftly maneuver us all into doing exactly what it was he wanted, magically convincing us it was our idea in the first place. Instead, he stood off to the side, watching but showing no indication he was affected in the least.
"Okay, you're right," Talley finally sighed. "I can at least try."
"There is no try," Jase said in a voice more closely resembling Miss Piggy than Yoda. "Do or do not."
In the end, Talley did. Sorta. She was overly timid as Charlie and I showed her how to escape different holds while Jase provided a running commentary of not-so-helpful tips from across the room. Eventually, though, she gained some confidence and began making progress.
Talley's self-defense training and our own workouts became the entire focus of the summer. It only took Dad a single day to find Jase a job as a lifeguard, so we scheduled a session every morning before he headed off to the public pool at The Strip and another in the evening. By day two, Jase managed to get Talley a job at the snack bar where he could keep an eye on her, leaving me alone in the house with Angel and Charlie.
I spent the majority of my time in deep research mode. Since I read every book available on werewolves when I found out about Alex, I knew there was nothing helpful there. Instead, I investigated the whole blood transfusion angle. I buried myself in medical journals and text books. Mom's copy of the Merck Manual was my constant companion. I poured through library databases and on online health sites. Through it all I found nothing more than a growing fear of bloodborne pathogens.
As for my companions, Angel was surprisingly tolerable. Sure, she criticized my wardrobe daily and tended to watch the most annoying television shows ever made, but at least she was fully interactive.
Charlie was like a ghost made of granite. When we trained, he executed his moves with stoic precision. At dinner - which my parents insisted should always include everyone sitting around the table eating together - he answered Mom's seemingly endless questions on his family, first year of college, and any other topic she could think of politely and succinctly. Even Angel, with her inability to understand boundaries, couldn't wrangle anything more than a sentence or two.
You would think his lack of interaction would've made it easy for me to ignore his existence and go on about my normally scheduled life. You would be wrong. It was as if his presence was made even more oppressive by his silence.
It was like he was always there, no matter where I went. If I walked into the kitchen to grab a drink, he would be sitting at the table eating. If I went out for a walk in the woods, the only place outside the house I was allowed to go, I would turn a corner to find him sitting on a tree stump or fishing in one of the little ponds that dotted our property. I could barely walk out of my bedroom without almost barreling into his chest.
I thought eventually I would get used to seeing him, that it would become easier, but it didn't happen that way. If anything, it got more and more difficult. I wanted to hate him. At times, I did. There were moments I hated him so much I fantasized about clawing his face off.
Those were the easy times.
The times when I wanted to fold myself into his arms, when I ached for the sound of his laughter, those were the difficult ones. Those were the times I hated myself for still loving him.
As my friend Joi would say, I was one big hot mess and getting messier by the minute, which is how I found myself trying to concuss Charlie with one of the wooden swords he and Jase had developed an obsession over.
"I just think you can do better than Randy's," I said, swinging the bokken with all my might. "You know, maybe there is a crack house in need of a janitor or something."
Charlie, having fended off my attack with the exact amount of effort Goliath used on a ninety pound asthmatic, cracked his sword against mine, sending it flying out of my hands.
I really, really hated fighting with bokkens.
"What's wrong with Randy's?" Jase asked from the other side of the room. He was showing Talley an easy karate routine while maintaining a distance of at least five feet. If I hadn't needed all my oxygen to dodge Charlie's non-stop attacks I might have pointed out that she'd been cured of cooties way back in second grade with a carefully placed vaccination of circle, circle, dot, dot.
"The words 'den of iniquity' come to mind," the cootie-free girl in question answered for me.
"Dude, I love that place."
I managed to get enough distance between Charlie and me to shoot Jase an incredulous look. "My feet stick to the floor, and it smells like urine." The last word came out as a grunt as I kicked out and finally relieved Charlie of his weapon.
I smiled. Things were about to get interesting.
"What are you going to do, Charlie?" I rolled my shoulders, loosening the muscles. "Something incredibly dignified, like mopping up puke in the bathrooms or checking to make sure the working girls' vaccinations are up to date?"
Honestly, I don't know why I was being so antagonistic. Randy's wasn't that bad. Sure, it was a little trashy, even for a place that advertised itself as a "one stop shop for manly entertainment," but it wasn't Trainspotting worthy. Part of me just wanted to keep pushing until Charlie exploded, just to see something resembling life flash through his eyes.
Charlie circled casually to my left. "I'm working at the shooting range." I was so shocked I didn't notice his tell, a shift of his right hip, and found myself on the business end of a right jab. His fist connected with my jaw, but as per usual, he was holding back. It stung like crazy, but I would hardly have a bruise the next day.
And that's what made me snap. Not that he'd hit me, but that he'd pulled the punch.
I couldn't even blame it on the whole wolf girl spilt personality. It was the same loss of temper that had me punching Ashley Johnson last winter. I held nothing back and threw every rule of fair play in existence out the window. He held me off for all of two minutes, and that was only because he was strong as a freaking ox. But I was faster. I knew he would be wearing the evidence of our bout for days to come when I put him on the mat.
"Yield," I said, bending his arm back at an angle that would snap the bone if I pressed down just an inch more. He attempted to roll beneath me, and I sent his arm a quarter of an inch closer to the mat. Before, I would have let it go right there, making some comment about boys and their ego. Charlie would have teased me relentlessly about being the one who gave up and picked at me until I declared a rematch.
Those days were over. That Scout and that Charlie died on the shore of the lake under the light of the full moon, and the next full moon made certain they would never be resurrected.
He twisted again, and this time I planted an elbow into the hard muscles of his abdomen. "Yield," I repeated, leaning in so my face was directly in front of his. With no other options available, he was forced to look at me, and when he did...
I knew a deep breath would help, but I seemed to have forgotten the mechanics of it.
I don't know how long we stayed frozen in that moment, but it was a long time. Sometimes I think there are parts of us still there, forever staring into the emotional maelstrom of one another's eyes. Charlie ended up being the first one to break the connection. He lifted his chin, exposing his neck to me.
Instead of acknowledging the submission, I quickly jerked away from him in possibly the single most ungraceful move in human history. Putting as much distance as I could between us without actually leaving the room, I collapsed back onto the floor, staring resolutely at the ceiling. I noticed Jase and Talley had grown Charlie Chaplin silent. There wasn't even the groan of a floorboard or squeak of the mat to indicated they were even still in the room.
"I'll be working at the range," Charlie repeated into the quiet stillness. I closed my eyes and finally remembered how to take those deep breaths. "And before you go all Mother Hen on me, Talley, remember I'll be behind bullet proof glass the whole time."
"But you'll still be passing out guns to rednecks." Even I could hear the resignation in my voice. I wasn't going to use my Pack Leader status to tell him he couldn't take the job. "You can do better than this, Charlie." Of course, that didn't mean I was going to express my not-so-humble opinion. "There has to be a virtual smorgasbord of jobs that don't involve half-drunk morons and firearms."
"Probably," was the only answer he seemed wiling to give until Jase ventured into the conversation.
"Will you be able to get us in?"
"Yep."
"Despite the 'no one under 21' rule?"
"Yes."
"After hours?"
"Not going to be a problem."
"What are we going to do about guns for the girls?"
Wait. What? I didn't want a gun, and the idea of Talley with something she could accidentally shoot her pinkie toe off with was possibly the worst idea ever.
"Jake Sills has a little Smith & Wesson he's going to sell me for Talley, and I thought we could pick up a compact Glock for Scout."
I rose up onto my elbows. Jase and Talley were both sitting against the wall. I could tell by the crooked little line between Talley's eyes that her thoughts mirrored my own. "Why would Talley and I need guns? We don't have to lug riffles out into the woods to pull off some overnight hunting trip story. Mom and Dad already know where we'll be on full moon nights."
"You know the whole werewolves can be killed by a silver bullet thing?" Charlie asked.
"Yeah..."
"The bullets don't have to be silver."
It took a second for me to catch on. "You want to teach us how to kill people?"
Charlie actually looked at me, although we were both careful to avoid direct eye contact. The lines of his face were hard, making him look severe and old. He reminded me of Alex's brother Liam. Charlie was wearing the exact same embittered-at-the-world-and-Scout-in-particular scowl. "I want to teach you to protect yourself."
"I have a black belt in three different disciplines. I know how to protect myself."
"Do you think the other Packs are going to play fair? That they're going to come in all noble and request a tournament with an impartial ref?" I flinched at the harshness of his tone. "This isn't some sort of game, Scout. These people are power hungry and determined. Once they find out a about us, they're going to just keep coming, over and over again unless we give them a reason to stop."
"But guns---"
"You promised," Jase interrupted. "You promised you would protect her."
"At least learn how to use one, just in case."
I nodded weakly, knowing it made sense to be prepared, just in case there was ever a need, but I hated it. If countless hours of reading comic books and watching superhero movies taught me anything, it's that good guys don't use guns. And we were the good guys, weren't we?
After the night following my first Change, I didn't dream. Well, that's technically a lie. I did have this one reoccurring nightmare where I knew something terrible was going to happen and I couldn't stop it, but it always faded quickly when I woke up, leaving just a general impression of impending doom. But the dreams that mattered, the ones with a 3-D Alex in Dolby digital surround sound, were noticeably absent. That's why I was surprised when I found myself wandering the infamous stretch of beach.
"I was so scared you had left me forever," I said, wrapping my arms around him. In the real, waking world I would have never been brave enough to admit my fears and dependency, but this was my perfect dream world. I knew Alex's response even before he said it.
"Not yet. We still have work to do."
Or, then again, maybe I didn't.
"You're leaving me?"
Alex's hand lazily stroked down my spine. "Not yet. Not until you're ready."
"I'll never be ready."
His lips pressed against my temple. "Of course you will. You have to be."
"Why? Because it's my destiny?"
"No. Because they're counting on you."
And suddenly we were surrounded. There had to be hundreds of them. They were everywhere - looking down from the cliff, scattered along the opposite shore, sitting in clusters around our feet. A few full-grown wolves and coyotes were scattered in the mix, but most of them were still pups. Nicole pressed herself against my leg.
"Who are they?" I felt as if I was being watched by a thousand pairs of eyes. "What do they want from me?"
"They're the forgotten. They need you to remember."
The forgotten? Who needed me to remember? Seriously?
"That could be the most cheese-tastic thing I've heard in my entire life," I said.
One of Alex's dimples peeked through. "It sounded good in my head."
I couldn't help but smile in return. "So, for real this time, who are..." I went to gesture to the masses, but they had already disappeared. "Where did they go?"
"To find them you'll have to go back to the beginning."
"The beginning," I intoned flatly. "The beginning of what?"
"Everything has a beginning, Scout."
I narrowed my eyes. "Are you being enigmatic and obtuse on purpose?"
"Not everyone can be as literate and witty as you," he said with another flash of dimples. "Anyway, this is supposed to be one of those really important coming-of-age experiences. How will you grow as a person if I just give you the answers?"
"Easy. I'll employ the Jase Method. You tell me the answers, and I'll memorize them long enough to pass the test." That was an unpleasant thought. "Is there a test?"
"Tests. Pop quizzes. Trials by fire..." He kissed my temple where I'm pretty sure a blood vessel throbbed. "Don't worry, though. You've always been good at tests."
"That was high school. This is the real world." The place where failing meant losing your best friend to the Shifter slave trade or getting "severely punished" by a man you once considered family. "I'm not so sure those skills translate well."
Alex looked over his shoulder before leaning in and lowering his voice. "Want to know a secret?" I nodded, intrigued. "The real world is just like high school. The only difference is no one has the excuse of being a teenager when they act like idiots."
"And you know this how? Because you're so old and worldly?"
"The world is a lot easier to figure out when you don't live in it anymore."
At that, the world changed. The sky clouded over; the scent of rain filled the air. The wind tossed around strands of my hair, slapping them against my face.
I clung to Alex, knowing our time was running out. I held onto him with all my might, as if I could drag him back with me.
"Not yet," I begged. When would I dream of him again? What if I didn't? "There is still too much to talk about. I'm a Shifter and no one knows why. I think Toby wants to kill me, especially since I accidentally stole half his Pack."
"Shhh... It's going to be okay," he soothed, capturing some of my hair and securing it behind my ear. "You'll get answers when you discover the beginning."
"Talley is going to get kidnapped by a Pack of Shifters straight out of Deliverance. Am I going to find the solution to that in this mysterious beginning of yours?"
Alex's tone was more than a little patronizing. "It's not just my beginning; it's our beginning. Mine. Yours. Liam, Jase, Charlie, and even Talley. It's all of our beginning." A flash of lightning struck somewhere behind me. "And the Talley problem can be easily solved. All she needs is a mate."
"A mate?"
"Ask Jase about it."
A raindrop landed on my hand. Another splattered on my thigh.
"I love you, Scout. For me, it was always you. Forever and always."
I reached for him, but he was gone. The lake faded until there was nothing but the occasional drop of rain against my hand.
Drip.
Drip.
Drip.
The fact that I realized the water was dripping on me in the real world relatively quickly while only half awake made me feel somewhat better about being stupid enough to think it was raining in my bedroom.
"Sorry!" Talley said as I bolted up in bed, looking for the indoor storm cloud. "I didn't mean to wake you up." More droplets splattered against me as she bounced off the bed, slinging her wet hair over one shoulder.
I wiped my hand on the sheets and pushed back the mess that was my hair with the other. I swore I could still smell Alex mingled in the strands.
"For the love of all things sacred, what time is it, and why are you awake?"
Talley began twisting her hair into a complicated, princess-worthy braided knot thing. "It's the butt crack of eight, and Jase and I have to go in to work early."
Yet another reason summer jobs are evil. Everyone should be allowed to sleep until noon.
"Is the munchkin up?"
"Yeah, she's insisting on making Jase and me cinnamon toast and honeyed milk for breakfast."
Of course she was, because on top of every other anti-Scout thing about my little sister, she was a morning person.
"Does that mean I have to get up too?"
"She did mention something about redecorating the living room while your mom is at work."
I slung my legs over the side of the bed, not at all thrilled about the challenging day ahead of me. Of course, sitting on the side of the bed is as far as I got for a while. There is no such thing as a good reason to move quickly in the mornings.
"Where do Shifters come from?"
Talley jumped a little at the sound of my voice as if she'd forgotten I was there. "Well, when a daddy Shifter and a mommy love each other very much, they share a special kiss. Nine months later, a baby Shifter is born."
I lifted two fingers since British hand gestures didn't offend her as much as their American counterparts for God only knows what reason. "I meant, what is the Shifter and Seer origin story? Does it involve Hellhounds? Cold ones? Do we get our crazy powers from the white moon?"
"Alex never told you this story?"
"No. Apparently that would be 'cheating'," I said, using air quotes.
"You'll like this one," she said, sitting down beside me. "It's a love story."
Uh-oh. "Does it involve a human and wolf making half and half babies, because I seriously might yak."
Talley pouted. "When you say it like that, it sounds gross."
"That's only because it is gross."
"No, listen." She turned to look me in the eye. "It is a good story, and it's not gross."
"Promise?"
"Promise." She made an X over her chest with one finger to seal the deal. "Do you promise to behave and listen?"
"Maybe."
She wasn't enthusiastic about my semi-compliance, but she continued on. "Back when the land was new there was a beautiful woman with skin like snow and hair that shone like the glow of the moon."
"Oh yeah. She sounds totally hot."
"Scout, keep the sarcasm to yourself." She leveled me with her Mom look. "As I was saying, the beautiful woman ---"
"Didn't she have a name?"
"I'm sure she did, but it was lost to history." Talley rubbed her forehead. "You know, this is why Mom quit reading to us when we were four."
"I thought it was because Jase colored in all the books."
Some more forehead rubbing and a deep sigh. "Are you going to let me finish before I leave for work?"
I nodded as I zipped and then locked my lips.
"So, the beautiful, forgotten named woman walked through the forest every night, and every night she was kept company by a wolf sent by God to protect her from the evils of the night." I bit my tongue to keep from commenting. "Over time, the wolf began to love the woman and longed to be with her." There was a chance my tongue was bleeding. "And the woman had grown to love her nightly companion." Yep. I could definitely taste blood. "And so the wolf, who had the ear of God, asked to become human. God granted the wolf's wish with the provision that one night of the month, on the full moon, he had to return to his true form."
Oooookay. "And Seers?"
"Because she saw God, she became the first Seer."
I thought about it. I looked at it from every direction, and.. "That is so entirely not helpful."
Talley pushed herself off the bed. "It's not supposed to be helpful. It's just a story." My eyebrows shot up at the dismissal. I mean, she was the girl I had to give the Santa Claus talk to in the third grade. "Want to tell me why you're gnawing off the inside of your lip over a Shifter bedtime story?"
I released my flesh from the entrapment of teeth. "It's nothing," I tried to assure her, but she noticed my not-so-subtle attempt to move out of reach of her all-seeing hands. "Seriously, Tal. It's no big. I'm just being my normal neurotic self."
She still wasn't convinced. "You know where to find me if you need me."
"You're the chick sleeping on the other half of my bed, right?"
Her nose wrinkled as she smiled. "Half is being a bit optimistic, don't you think, Miss Bed Hog?"
I tossed a pillow at her head. "Watch who you're calling names, Sally Snorer."
Her laughter was cut off by my bedroom door being thrown open. "Talley Anne Matthews, we're going to be late for work." Jase noticed me in sitting there in nothing but an oversized t-shirt and threw a hand over his eyes. "Get a move on," he called over his shoulder, getting away from the sight of sister legs as quickly as possible. Just before he started down the stairs we both heard him mutter, "Why do I always have to be the responsible one?"
I spent my entire day thinking about beginnings. Not because I really thought Alex's spirit had reached out from beyond the grave to guide me - one neurosis of him still being alive was plenty for me, thank you very much - but because it was the only lead I had to go on. Dr. Dunbar, the shrink who checked in with me weekly via Skype since the accident, said my dreams were a way to give my subconscious and suppressed memories voice. Since she seemed like a fairly logical and intelligent person, I decided to trust her on that one.
The problem was, I still didn't know which beginning might hold the key. I was still leaning towards the origin of Shifters - if I knew what caused the first man to Change, then maybe my Change could be explained as well - but if all I had to go on was Talley's screwed-up love story, then there was little hope on that front. But there were so many other beginnings to consider. The beginning of the Hagan-Cole truce. The beginning of my inclusion to the Shifter world. I found my thoughts most often returning to the first time I saw Alex at The Strip before school started last summer. I remembered how I barely got a chance to notice him before Liam distracted me with his utter Liam-ness. There could have been a clue in there somewhere, but trying to understand Liam was like trying to find a reason for the existence of Jersey Shore.
I was still mentally going over that first meeting, trying to recreate the whole awkward and confusing day in my head, when Jase and Talley came barging through the front door three hours early.
"I thought they weren't getting home until after lunch," Angel said, looking up from the bookshelf I allowed her to reorganize in lieu of rearranging the whole living room. She had taken over all kitchen duties when no one else was around to do actual cooking. She took her job to keep the two of us fed very seriously, planning out each meal and offering up as much variety and home-cooking as was possible with her microwave and toaster oven limitations. "I only have enough mozzarella cheese to make two tortilla pizzas. I'll have to mix it with cheddar, and that won't taste right at all."
"It's okay, Munchkin, I'm not hungry." Jase threw himself on the couch and attempted to drill a hole in the wall with his eyes. Talley seemed to be attempting the same trick with Jase's head.
"What happened? Why are you home?"
"We got fired," Talley said. Her voice shook with anger.
"We quit," Jase corrected.
The thought of Talley, who was the very definition of responsible, getting fired was more than a little perplexing. "Why on earth did you get fired?"
"We didn't get fired," Jase grit out. "I told you, we quit. I'm not going to work for some sleazy jerk."
"Adam isn't sleazy. And, unlike you, he's not completely unhinged."
Angel was listening in with rapt interest. I could see her committing every word to memory for a dramatic interpretation the moment my parents walked through the door. "Angel, go start getting your ingredients together and constructing your pizzas. I'll be in to supervise the toaster oven part in a minute."
"It's too early to start lunch. We just finished our mid-morning snack forty-five minutes ago!"
I know I said I didn't want people taking orders from me just because I was Pack Leader, but I would have paid good money to make Angel feel obligated to obey me. "Then go upstairs and clean your room."
"My room is clean."
"Then go clean mine!"
"What does 'sleazy' mean?" Angel asked Jase, standing just far enough away that I couldn't grab her up and wring her neck.
"It means he couldn't keep his hands to himself and made inappropriate comments to his employees."
My eyebrow shot up. "He did?"
"He asked me on a date. That doesn't qualify as inappropriate comments."
"Where were his hands if he didn't keep them to himself?" Angel asked, confusion etched on her brow.
"Angel, seriously, don't you have an elsewhere to be?"
"No. I want to know about Adam's hands. Was he a umpiretee? Did they come off like Uncle Joseph's leg?"
"I think you mean amputee, Munchkin."
Talley quit glaring at Jase long enough to ruffle Angel's hair. "There was nothing wrong with his hands. Your brother just overreacted."
"Overreacted?" Jase bolted from the couch. "I overreacted?!?! You're the one who told him to back off!"
"Which he did! There was no need for further action!"
Screw the daytime soaps I was missing. This was getting juicy. "Could someone please tell me what happened, from the beginning?"
"Our supervisor at the pool, Adam, has been expressing interest in me. He's always coming by the snack bar, goofing off and talking to me for way too long about individually packed pickles."
"I like those," Angel interjected. "They're always super-salty and crunchy."
"Well, a couple of days ago he started asking me out. I tried to turn him down nicely, but he wasn't taking the hint."
"Which was when you should have said something to me," Jase added.
"There was no need for you to get involved! I can take care of myself!" It was a shame Jase wouldn't spar with Talley. I think they may have been able to work whatever this was out better if they were able to throw a few punches at each other.
"You were really doing a bang-up job of it in the store room today."
"Guys, really. Do we need to make Angel leave the room for this?"
Angel sat up straight in her pink Disney Princess beanbag chair. "I can handle it, Scout. I'm seven now, you know." She turned to Talley with an expression of the deepest concern and understanding. "He tried to kiss you, didn't he."
The corners of Talley's mouth twitched. "Yes, he tried to kiss me."
"And you didn't want him to?"
"No, I didn't. Which I told him in no uncertain terms."
I felt like I knew where this was heading. "And Jase...?"
"Jase thought the point needed to be emphasized with his fist."
Of course he did. "And then you both got fired."
"No, he told me that I was going to have to apologize, or he would fire me. I told him that Hell would freeze over before I apologized, and then I quit."
Angel's eyes were the size of saucers. "You said a cuss word to your boss?"
"What about you?" I asked Talley. "Surely he didn't fire you because you wouldn't kiss and Jase punched him. That would be a sexual harassment and wrongful termination suit all tied up together with a great big money-colored bow."
"Jase needed some ice for his hand," she gave in way of an explanation.
"And...?"
Now it was Jase's turn to fight the smile threatening to break across his face. "He said if she followed me out, then he would accept that as her resignation."
"And she followed you anyway?"
"Jase needed ice," she said again.
"Sorry, Tal, but I'm with Jase on this one. You both quit." I pointed a finger at Angel. "And that is the only story that our parents will hear, do you understand?"
"Talley and Jase quit their job because their boss was bad. Got it."
Of course, that wasn't exactly what she told our parents, which led to a rather embarrassing conversation between my mom and Talley about not allowing men to take advantage of you, but she did manage to skip the part about Jase punching the guy in the nose. The part about him saying a cuss word, however, was the lead-in.
Both Jase and Talley had new jobs by the end of the week. Jase was hired by the 4-H camp to teach four basketball classes a day during the week, and Talley took a part-time job at the local Piggly-Wiggly. It turned out to be the best thing for both of them. Jase found he really liked coaching, and Talley was forced to talk to her mother at least once a week. By the time the next full moon rolled around, Mrs. Matthews was begging Talley to move back home, but Talley said she would rather stay with her Pack.
I found myself eagerly awaiting the return of the full moon. I knew it was mentally unhealthy. I knew I was setting myself up for disappointment. I knew he wasn't supposed to be real, but still I was anxious to see if the gray wolf whose scent I swore I ran across occasionally on my jaunts in the woods would show up again.
Interestingly, the lure of seeing the wolf who didn't exist wasn't the only reason I longed for the full moon. I realized I hated the way my new senses weakened as the moon waned, although they never disappeared all together. I was still able to hear everything going on in the house and knew who was in the shower by the smell floating in the steam under the bathroom door. Of course, the strengthening of the wolf had some issues all its own.
"Dear God, will I always be this hot?" I asked, positioning myself above the air conditioning vent in Jase's room. I had just got out of an ice cold shower, was wearing nothing more than my boy cut bikini bottoms and a tank top, and was walking around with wet hair in a house whose thermostat I had moved down to sixty-five degrees, but I was still on the verge of a heat stroke.
"No, one day your face will wrinkle, your boobs will sag, and your hair will grow thin. But don't worry. I'll still love you anyway."
I glared at my brother. "Not what I meant."
"Were you wanting me to point out that you may think way too highly of yourself?"
"I was wanting you to assure me I'm not going to spontaneously combust." I made a tent out of my tank top so I could capture all the cool air. "How do you deal with this every month?"
I knew Charlie was coming up the stairs. I knew the moment he turned onto our road five minutes ago, but I still jumped when he opened the door. It seemed like I was never quite ready to deal with Charlie.
"I didn't realize this was a clothing-optional meeting," he said, risking one disgusted glance in my direction before flopping down on Jase's bed. "Seriously, Scout, would it kill you to put some clothes on?" he asked the ceiling.
"It might. I feel like I'm melting." And the blood pooling on the surface of my skin certainly wasn't helping the situation any.
"It's a low-grade fever. We all get one right before a full moon. You'll get used to it."
I didn't bother explaining how I ran more than a low grade fever for thirty days straight and knew that this was something different. Charlie would only think I was whining and begging for attention.
"I'm going to go find Talley." And some clothes.
Of course, that's when Talley opened the door connecting my bedroom to the bathroom that separated mine and Jase's rooms. "I'll be there in thirty seconds. I'm looking for a pen."
"I'll come---"
"Nevermind, here's one!"
Or maybe I'll just sit here feeling overwhelmingly naked and embarrassed.
Talley bound into the room, a pad of paper and pen in hand. "Okay, I'm ready to take minutes."
"Pack meetings have minutes?" I certainly didn't remember anyone jotting stuff down at the last Pack meeting I attended, but I had been a little distracted with the whole getting kicked out part.
"They should," said my super-organized best friend. "Are you okay? You look very... red."
"I'm hot."
"Obviously. I would kill for your legs. And waist. And boobs." She examined her own chest, which wasn't so much flat as not curvy. "Maybe I could get Ashley's plastic surgeon to give me your boobs. Would you go with me to the office so that he'll know exactly what I want?"
She was spending way too much time with Jase.
"I meant, I feel like it's a a hundred and fifty degrees in here, smarty pants."
I'm not a complete moron - I had an acceptance letter to William and Mary hanging on my wall - but I sometimes miss simple, common-sense things. Thankfully, that is Talley's area of expertise. "Well, I guess summer in Kentucky would feel rather warm to a species designed for sub-zero temperatures."
Jase's face scrunched up in concentration. "You mean because she turns into one of those snow wolves, right?"
At least I wasn't the only one a step or two behind the curve.
"Coyotes are native to Kentucky. Arctic wolves, not so much." The frown on her face would have looked patronizing if anyone else attempted it. "Poor Scout. Do you want me to go get you an ice pack or something?"
"Nah, I'm cool." I held up my hand. "Don't want hear it, no matter how witty it is." Jase's promptly shut his mouth.
"Are you calling the meeting to order?" Talley asked, pen poised.
"Do I need to?"
Talley nodded enthusiastically.
I looked around for something to used as a gavel and settled on one of Jase's basketball trophies. "I hereby call the meeting of the Donovan-Hagan-Matthews Pack to order," I said, banging the trophy on the floor. "Does that work?"
"I think we need to shorten the name of the Pack."
This was the reason we quit doing school projects together in the sixth grade.
"The name stands. You can refer to it as DHM if you want." I took a deep breath, giving her plenty of time to declare that we needed a logo or mascot. When she didn't, I continued. "Tomorrow night is our first full moon together as a Pack." And only my second full moon as a Shifter. "We're going to run an exercise tomorrow to ensure that we can work together as a team to accomplish a goal."
"Like not accidentally stepping over an invisible line?" Charlie asked.
"That's part of Talley's job. She's been studying maps for weeks now and thinks she can keep us wrangled into the accepted boundaries. Right, Tal?"
"I think so." She sound less certain than I would have liked, but I trusted her.
"She's also going to guide us to the same spot. We're starting off at different points." I handed out maps I printed off the computer. "Jase, you're going to Change on the north end of the county. Charlie, the south. I'm changing on the far eastern boarder. As soon as Talley senses we've all completed the Change, she's going to pick a fourth location from a hat and guide us all there."
"That's it?" Jase looked less than impressed. "We go on a scavenger hunt for one another? That's our big exercise for the night?"
"No, that's our communications lesson. Then we have our physical training."
"Which is?"
My mind conjured up an image of snowflakes dancing around a beautiful boy eagerly sharing his love of the hunt. "Then we take down a deer."
I lay crouched on the ground, my clothes tucked away in the backpack I hid nearby. Being naked in the middle of the woods wasn't exactly my idea of awesome, but I couldn't really afford to lose an outfit a month.
I can't do this.
They said it would be easier this time, less painful. When I was climbing out of Charlie's mammoth truck he grabbed my arm, the first non-training physical contact we'd had in forever. "Just relax out there, okay? Try to initiate the Change yourself instead of waiting for it to happen. Your body will respond better."
I tried. Really, I did. I crouched down and thought about my muscles stretching and shifting, my bones reorganizing themselves. I thought about the hundreds of thousands of hairs poking through my skin. Unfortunately, I also thought about all the pain that came with those things and couldn't do it. I knew it would actually kill me this time.
The first convulsion ripped through my body as the last light of day disappeared from the sky. It hurt just as much as I remembered. I stayed conscious the entire time and only threw up from the pain once.
As soon as the Change was complete, I headed for the hamburgers I stashed by my backpack. The food was Talley's idea. According to her, the animal wouldn't be quiet enough for Human Scout to be heard until some of the calories incinerated during the Change were replaced. She theorized that having a vast amount of food ready to eat immediately post-Change would give us a huge advantage. Since I didn't want a Thumper repeat, I was willing to give it a shot.
Of course, Wolf Scout didn't agree. She ate the burgers because she was hungry, but she regretted the lack of fresh meat. She missed the hunt.
She seriously freaked me out.
"How are you doing?" the voice in my head asked. I tried to find traces of the Talley I knew in that voice, but there was none. This voice was deep and rich for a woman, very femme fatale. Talley's normal voice had more of a Hannah Montana flavor.
I didn't pass out.
"That's an improvement."
If you say so. Are the boys ready?
"Jase is finishing up. It will take Charlie a few more minutes."
Something tickled in the back of my brain and I had to really concentrate to process it. I thought you said Jase's Change was fast.
"It is. You completed yours in less than fifteen minutes." It felt more like fifteen years. "You're a natural."
You do realize that irony is difficult for me to fully appreciate in this form, right?
A sultry laugh echoed in my head. "I didn't even catch that. Your reasoning is amazing."
So, what should I do while I wait? Work a crossword puzzle?
"What do you feel like doing?"
I thought about it. My muscles were twitching, but not in a we've-got-to-rearrange-and-make-you-into-a-monster kind of way. It was more like a need for action.
I want to run.
"That's what I thought. See if you can figure out west on your own and go. You will have to pass through town or cross the Interstate to go over the border, so you should be okay."
Needing no more encouragement, I was gone. I've never been a runner by nature. My general philosophy was, why run if you're not being chased? Wolf Scout felt differently.
As I ran, I let her take over. She loved the way the tall grass tickled her underbelly. She chased squirrels and groundhogs. She splashed in a creek, enjoying the taste of the cool water. She followed one trail and then another until finally...
Wolf. Him. Mine.
I was off, careful not to lose the scent.
"Scout, the others are ready. I'm going to need to you head north."
North was the wrong direction. I chased my prey south.
"Scout, do you hear me."
Hear you? Yes. Listening to you? Not so much.
"The Pack is converging at the old Spicer Mill."
The Pack could kiss my furry white tail. I closed my mind off from well-meaning interlopers and chased after the gray wolf. It wasn't long before I caught up with him. I was close enough to hear him as he padded nearly silently around a pond just over the hill. I howled out a greeting and waited expectantly for his reply. It never came. Instead, I heard him move away.
Crap. Where was he going?
I pursued him in a way my human form would have never dared. It took Alex months to convince me we should be together, and that was with him being fairly up-front about his feelings. If he had even considered playing hard to get we would have never happened. But my wolf didn't have the same insecurities as a teenage girl. She knew what she wanted, and she was determined to get it.
He was fast, but so was I. I caught flashes of fur through the bushes and glances of a tail or hind leg on occasion. Those moments just made me run harder.
I paid no attention to my surroundings or the direction we were heading. It wasn't until I picked up the scent of another Shifter I even considered it might be a valid concern. I skidded to a stop and looked around, heart pounding. Had I crossed the boundary? Was the Hagan Pack waiting for me? I was very close to panicking when a howl cut through the air.
Jase!
Suddenly it all came crashing in on me. I had just completely abandoned my Pack to follow a ghost through the woods.
I trotted off towards the direction Jase's howl came from, sending up a reply of my own.
Reluctantly, I opened myself back up to my Seer. I made it.
"What the Hades were you doing? You shut me out!"
Sorry.
"Sorry? I thought you were Changing back or dead or God only knows what!"
Sorry.
I was really glad I couldn't see her face at the moment, because I was certain it was saying volumes in the silence.
I crested the hill and spotted Jase. Over the past month things had gotten better between us. There was still some tension, a change in the relationship that couldn't be undone, but he was my brother. I knew he hadn't hurt me intentionally. I would never forget what happened, but we were working on being okay again.
Wolf Scout hadn't been a part of that process.
I crouched down, protecting my soft underbelly. A growl reverberated in my throat. I wanted the coyote to go away, somewhere where he could never hurt me again. Coyote Jase proved to be remarkably similar to Human Jase by not doing what I wanted. Instead, he walked up to where he was in striking distance and rolled onto the ground, exposing his underside to me. Both parts of my brain recognized the act as one of submission.
Slowly I got up and went over to him. He watched warily, unsure of what I would do. I might have been a little unsure myself, but when I pressed my nose against his throat and breathed him in there was no fear or malice in my mind, only the comfort of family.
Tell Jase he looks mildly ridiculous with a spot of mustard on his nose.
Talley must have relayed the message, because Jase flipped over and and began pawing at his nose. I laughed, or as close as I could get to laughing in my current condition.
"Jase says you sound like you're trying to hack up a hairball. Also, he is very adamant about the fact that you're not half as funny as you think you are."
You really should see it, Tal. He's got a yellow stain on the fur of his snout. It's kinda cute.
"I'm sure it's adorable."
We horsed around for a while, Talley eventually refusing to pass along any messages. We were rolling along the ground when he first noticed the scars which covered much more of my wolf form than my human one. He licked the spot on my right side where they ended, a whine in his throat. It was the first time he saw the damage since the night of the accident.
"What is going on? Jase is really upset."
We're fine. We're going to be fine.
And I knew we were. It was the other coyote I could hear approaching that I was concerned about.
Murderer.
The human, rationale part of me was quickly drowned out by the emotions seeing him dredged up.
"Scout, stop! It's Charlie! It's just Charlie!"
I don't know where Jase went. At that moment the world was narrowed down to me and the coyote who killed Alex.
"Scout---"
I snapped the connection.
There was no planning or finesse in my attack. I ran straight at him, no thought other than revenge. We collided in a chorus of snarls and limbs. We rolled along the ground and came to a halt with me on top of his prone body. I set my sights on the kill spot in his neck and was about to lunge when he moved, raising his head so that I could have better access.
I darted away and backed up against a tree. My entire body was shaking, and I knew that if I was in my human form I would have tears streaming down my face. Charlie slowly lifted himself off the ground and started towards me. I tried to move away, but I was bound by the tree and Jase, who had moved up beside me. Like Jase had done before, Charlie stopped just in front of me and laid down in a posture of complete submission. I repeated my display of acceptance, though this time there was no sense things would work themselves out somehow.
"Where is our waitress? I need another stack of pancakes." The table was littered with empty plates. Already I'd scarfed down two omelets, an order of sausage patties, an order of sausage links, two orders of bacon, a short stack of blueberry pancakes, two glasses of chocolate milk, and three glasses of Mello Yello.
"Her name is Jessi, which you should know since we went to school with her for thirteen years and your brother took her to the Fall Dance in eighth grade. And she already thinks you're on drugs. Maybe we could go through a drive-thru or something if you're still hungry."
My binge was equal parts a need for calories and an attempt to assuage my shame. The deer hunting scenario didn't play out quite as planned. Finding a deer? Not a problem. The entire Land Between the Lakes area is overrun with the vermin. Chasing it down? Easy peasy. I could've run all night. But after that...
"She's too busy to notice what we're eating," I said, surveying the room stuffed full of men in ratty t-shirts and baseball caps filling up with a greasy breakfast before heading out for a day fishing.
Talley was stacking plates and picking discarded silverware off the scarred wooden table. "I managed to brush against her arm when she was giving Charlie his third plate of hashbrowns. She thinks we spent the entire night engaged in righteous pot smoking and have the worst case of munchies she's ever seen."
"I went to a dance with Jessi Poston?" Jase's top lip curled as he regarded our waitress. Her hair was brown at its three-inch roots, a dull black the rest of the way down and appeared to be the consistency of dry straw. She had on blue eyeliner and green eyeshadow. To my super-sensitive nose she stank of cigarette smoke and booze. I could even catch a hint of vomit off the stain on the collar of her shirt.
"Well, she wasn't quite so skanky in the eighth grade." Talley followed Jase's gaze with sympathy. "She really started going downhill after her mom got cancer our Sophomore year."
"Great, now I feel guilty for thinking she's nasty," Jase said.
I had no doubt that was Talley's original goal. She always saw the best in everyone and gave them the benefit of doubt. It pained her that the rest of us were less generous in our opinion of others.
When Jessi came back to leave our bill I made it a point to smile and actually look at her, not just her chipped black polish manicure and asymmetrical butterfly neck tattoo. I was rewarded with a sneer and more than mildly rude inquiry as to whether or not I needed yet another chocolate milk.
Well, at least I had one less thing to feel guilty about.
"I've got this," I said, snatching the small mountain of ordering tickets off the table.
"Seriously? Thanks!" Jase looked as if he just won the lottery. "Although, if you had mentioned it earlier I would have gone with a steak instead of sausage."
"Let me ---"
"No, Charlie. It's on me. Really, it's the least I can do after robbing you of your fresh venison buffet last night."
Jase choked out a laugh while Talley gave my hand a squeeze. "I think your sensitivity to animal rights is admirable," she said. Jase gave in to a full-on laughing fit, and I could have sworn the corners of Charlie's lips twitched upwards.
"It's Walt Disney's fault," I said through tight lips. "He brain washed me, and now I'm too busy worrying about poor orphaned Bambi to do my job."
It was perfect. Once we settled into the hunt we didn't need to rely on Talley at all. We knew each other as well as we knew ourselves, and our animals were in perfect sync. Then it came time for me, the Pack Leader, to deliver the killing blow. Instead, she looked at me with those hugemongous doe eyes and I couldn't do it. I just stood there and let her go.
"Talley isn't wrong, you know," Charlie said. "To have enough control to override the wolf's instincts..." The muscles in his jaws jumped. "Not every Shifter can do that." He threw back the remainder of the sludge Jessi claimed was coffee before giving me something that may have passed for a smile if you didn't bother looking at his eyes. "Should've known you would be pulling super-Dominant stuff on your second Change. You never could stand for me and Jase to be better than you at anything."
"That's not true. You're both much better housewives than me. I mean, you can clean, cook..."
"There are blind three year olds more skilled at using a stove than you. That's hardly an accomplishment," Jase countered. "Actually, that's probably why you couldn't kill the deer. It was too much meal preparation for you to handle." His remarks were light-hearted, but I could tell he was somewhere between annoyed and disappointed with me.
"I know. I'm sorry---"
"Stop." Charlie reached across the table as if to grab my hand before realizing what he was doing. He quickly jerked it back to pick up his now empty cup. "You're doing a good job, no matter what JoJo the Idiot Brother says." Jase opened his mouth, but Charlie smacked a hand over it. "Jase says he's sorry."
Jase's eyes said he was considering taking a chunk out of Charlie's hand.
"Awww.... Jase, it's okay. I know you're impaired by a debilitating combination of testosterone and lack of conscious. I forgive you," I said, falling easily into the familiar banter.
"Jase thanks you for your generosity and further apologizes for having to eat and run, but we both have jobs requiring our presence."
"You know, it's really rude to accept a meal from someone without sticking around to socialize. What would you do if one of your dates ran off before you could 'talk'?" I added both air quotes and a wink for emphasis.
Jase provided his favorite hand gesture.
It took a few more minutes of groveling on Jase's part (with Charlie providing the monologue), but eventually I deigned to let them leave, my heart miraculously light. I didn't even mind too much that Charlie had somehow managed to sneak the tickets into his pocket and pay for them on his way out.
"That's the most he's said to me in a lifetime," I said to Talley as they slipped out the back door.
"Give it time," she said as we watched the boys through the window. "Alex's death has damaged you both. It's not the sort of thing that is going to fix itself overnight."
I shrugged, some of the ease and comfort slipping out of the parking lot with Jase and Charlie.
"Scout, we need to talk."
I still didn't look at her. I could tell by her tone this wasn't a conversation I wanted to have.
"I heard you last night before you shut me out. I know what you're thinking, and you're wrong."
"You don't know anything."
"He's dead, Scout. You were there. Not even a Shifter could survive that much damage."
I concentrated on finding abstract images in the maple syrup on my plate.
"You went to his funeral. He's dead. You're going to have to accept that before you can start to heal."
I snapped, all the feelings and thoughts I'd been trying to deny since the graveyard raging to the surface. "He's alive. I know it. I've seen him. At the funeral and in the woods. He's trapped in his wolf form, but it's him, Talley. I know it."
She reached for my arm, but I jerked away.
"I know you want to believe it's him---"
"It is him!"
"No, it's not, Scout. We buried him two months ago."
"We buried an empty casket!" I finally looked up and met her eyes. "He wasn't in there. He's out there, alive. I know it."
Talley's eyes went wide. "How..how did you know the casket is empty?"
"I don't know how I do, but I know it's true. The moment I felt of the casket I knew there was nothing inside." I needed her to see the truth. "Don't you get it? He somehow managed to Change back to his wolf form and heal. We just have to figure out how to let him Change back. Maybe all he needs is time to heal completely, or to be around people and remember who he is."
Talley did not reflect my optimism. "Oh, Scout. You have to know that's not possible. You know he's gone."
"The casket was empty!"
"Because we cremated the body!" Her mouth snapped shut, trying to recapture the words that were already out. Several heads turned our way.
I felt like reality was fracturing around me, hope floating away like ash. "You what?"
Her eyes were pleading. "It's Shifter custom. We can't risk someone doing an autopsy."
"How..." My mouth was moving, but nothing was coming out. "Nevermind. I don't want to know." I took deep breaths, willing my extravagant breakfast to stay in my stomach. I lost myself in the bubbles floating to the top of my soda for several minutes, waiting for something that resembled an emotion to break through.
"He's dead."
"I'm sorry, Scout." I felt her hand on my back. My skin was still tender from the Change, but the pain was muted. Everything was muted. "I knew you wanted to believe he was still around, but I thought it was just a normal part of grieving. I never thought you really believed he was still alive. I should have said something sooner."
"And the dreams? They're not real either, are they?"
"Dreams?"
"At night I meet him on the same patch of beach where...where he died. He talks to me, helps me. I thought...I thought they were real. That he was reaching out to me the only way he could, through Dream Walking." The words I hadn't even allowed myself to think came tumbling out. I laid my head on the table, ignoring the stickiness clinging to the surface. "It felt real. It's like the dreams from before, 3-D smell-o-vision, the works." My voice hitched. "I could feel his arms around me. But, then again, I could smell him in the forest today. I could see him." I lifted my eyes to Talley. "Something's wrong with me, isn't it?"
"Nothing is wrong with you, Scout. You went through something horrific. Your brain is trying to find a way to deal with the physical and mental pain you were buried under."
"I need to go." I raised up my head, losing a few strands of hair in the process. "I need to get my clothes, and Mom has to work today, and..." I took a deep breath, trying to steady my voice.
"I'll come with."
I shook my head. "I need some time."
I knew I was hurting her feelings, that I should let her ride along, but I couldn't. If she was there I would have to pretend I wasn't falling apart. I wasn't up for the challenge.
I don't even remember driving across town or hiking the mile down the path where I tossed my clothes. I was in such a fog I had to rummage around for a while to find the right bush. I could have just followed my nose, but it wasn't my scent leading the way. It was a scent that didn't really exist. Couldn't exist.
She's wrong. He's been here. I can smell him.
Except, I knew it was a lie. In so many ways, I had known it all along. But when faced with the option of believing in the impossible and accepting that you can no longer trust your own mind, the choice made is not always the logical one.
The fragments of my heart that had managed to meld themselves back together were once again pulling free and venturing off on their own, leaving my chest hollow and empty.
"What's wrong?" Alex towered over the place where I collapsed once I found myself back on the beach. I squeezed my eyes closed and refused to play along, certain I could will myself into another dream.
I didn't work.
"You're dead," I finally said without looked at him.
"I've been that way for a while now." He sounded confused.
"This isn't real."
He sat down beside me and tried to put his arm over my shoulders, but I moved away. "It depends on your definition of real, I guess."
"My definition includes, 'not just a dream Scout's brain conjured to keep her from slitting her wrists'. Yours?"
"This isn't a dream."
I laughed the laugh of the crazies. "No, I go to sleep at night and start having conversations and make-out sessions with my dead boyfriend. Not a dream."
"Scout..." He grabbed my upper arm. I tried to jerk away, but he was too strong. "What happened? What's wrong?"
More maniacal laughter. "Wrong? Everything is wrong. You're dead, Alex. Really dead. The casket wasn't empty because you're still alive. It was empty because the Hagans decided to burn your body because, really, killing you wasn't enough. And if losing you and Charlie and, in some ways Jase, wasn't enough, now I've lost my mind, too."
"You thought I was alive?" He brushed my cheek where tears should have been.
"Just... just stop, okay? I can't do this."
"Do what?"
"This!" I gestured at the crazy dream lake with wild arms. "I can't keep seeing you, touching you, believing in you ---" The last words were lost in an ugly sob. I buried my face in my hands and let go. Hallucination Alex had enough good sense to leave me alone during my stellar display of self-pity fueled waterworks. When I finally gave it up, I found him standing by the water's edge, chucking stones into the lake with a brutal force.
"Have you ever noticed," he asked, "how hard it is to do the right thing? It's like, you look at all the options, decide which one is going to suck the most, and that is what you're supposed to do."
"If doing the right thing was easy everyone would do it," I conceded, walking up to slide my arm into his and rest my head on his shoulder. If I was going to be crazy I might as well enjoy it. "So what sucky thing should you be doing?"
His head rested on mine. "What you asked me to do. Leave you alone, let you move on."
I knew it was time for me to make the decision. I could either continue living this lie or cut him off completely.
"I can't do this on my own."
"You're stronger than you think."
"You know, people always say that, but everyone has a breaking point, Alex."
His arm moved around my back and tugged me closer. "You can survive this. You have to."
"Why?" Giving up would be so easy.
"Because fulfilling your destiny will be hard. That's how you know it's the right thing to do."
I continued going through the daily motions. Angel decided she needed to learn to sew her own clothes after catching a rerun of Project Runway, so we signed up for a mother-daughter class at the community center. She was happy to add another thing to her list of Things Scout Is Completely Incapable Of Doing Well. Normally it would have bugged me that my shirt had only one arm hole and two necks, but I couldn't bring myself to care.
The only thing to break through the fog was our training sessions. I pushed myself and the others even more. We were all covered in bruises, most nights limping our way up the stairs and to bed, but no one complained.
I was able to put on a good front most of the time. Eventually, Talley quit asking if I was okay on an hourly basis and even seemed to dial down the suicide watch. As long as there was someone to perform for, I could do it. It was when I was alone the world crumbled, taking my living girl facade with it. I would sometimes come crashing back to reality with the realization I had been staring at a wall for countless hours, nothing to indicate what transpired other than an overwhelming sense of grief and abandonment.
Fortunately, between my sister, who was going through a clingy stage, and my Pack, I was rarely left alone for very long. That is why I panicked when faced with an entire day to myself. Mom and Dad took Angel to St. Louis for the weekend to visit the zoo and some museums, and everyone else had long shifts at work. I tried to keep busy, even cleaned my bedroom. It was a task which should have taken me hours, if not days, but since Talley moved in, my room transformed from a haven for clutter and disorganization to a carefully arranged and labeled monument to the obsessively compulsed. I dusted every top and vacuumed every inch of carpet, even using the hand-vac to get under the bed. Of course, I learned that trick from watching Talley do the same thing two days prior, so it was basically an exercise in futility. Thirty minutes later, the room was beyond clean and I was facing at least eight more hours alone.
At the mere thought of it my chest got tight. I had to fight for breath, and the harder I fought, the worse it got. I collapsed against the wall, my entire body trembling.
Calm down, Scout. It's just a panic attack. You have to relax to breathe.
It was one of those things your brain knew to be true but had trouble convincing your body. I worked on taking slow, deep breaths, and eventually I was able to get a grip, but I still felt strung out. On top of everything else, I was angry at myself for not being able to just get over it. I wasn't the only person to ever face tragedy and loss, yet I seemed to be the only one who couldn't move forward. How did other people deal with it?
I pulled myself off the wall and straightened the picture I knocked aside during my little episode. It was one Talley recently dug out of a pile of pictures Ashley Johnson brought over after Alex's funeral. The pictures were Ashley's attempt at turning P.I. She had laid her claim on Alex in the third grade I-saw-him-first fashion and hated me with the fiery passion she normally reserved for skin blemishes and clothes bought at Wal-Mart. While Alex and I conducted our secret affair, Ashley kept a photo record of our escapades. After Alex's death, we sorta-kinda-not-really had a reconciliation, and she turned over the photos. I flipped through them only once, and then tossed them into a drawer. Talley found them and fell in love with one that showed the two of us standing chest-to-chest, staring deep into each other's eyes with the goofiest of smiles plastered on our faces. She put it in a frame and hung it on the wall.
I wondered if she was torturing me on purpose.
Looking at the picture though, I got an idea. It was possibly the worst idea I ever had, but I had to do something. I couldn't just sit around and feel sorry for myself all night long.
After I made my phone call, I started the impossible task of getting ready. It took me forever to find the curling iron and make-up kit Mom bought for me ages ago in the hopes I would develop an interest in something a bit more girly than martial arts or burying myself in books. Then there was the issue of actually working the curling iron and the millions of brushes and applicators whose life's purpose I wasn't entirely sure of. I was just finishing up when Ashley's new Porsche pulled into my driveway, forty-five minutes after she said she would be there.
"Holy shit, Scout!" Ashley screeched as I walked towards her car. "Is that you?"
I have to admit, even I was a little shocked at my final results. My hair magically decided to do something other than just hang there. I followed the step-by-step instructions I found online for "smokey eyes" and "dramatic lips" and was painted up like a whore, but did a good enough job I looked expensive. The dress I borrowed from my mom's closet helped with the "I'll do anything you want as long as you give me $5,000 in cash first" vibe. It was a basic black Chanel dress, the only designer thing she owned. On her petite frame is was elegant and classy. It managed to stop nearly a foot above my knees.
Somehow, though, it managed to cover more skin than the purple aluminum-tank-top-posing-as-a-dress thing Ashley was wearing. "Damn girl, you look fine! Almost dying did wonders for your figure. You're so skinny!" Sadly, she meant it as a compliment.
"You don't think it's too much?" I tugged on the bottom of my dress. "Or too little?"
"Are you kidding? I'm totes jelly."
"And I toast and jelly your outfit, too. It matches the... are those feathers in your hair?"
Ashley doubled over in a fit of giggles. "Oh my God, Scout, I forgot how funny you are."
"Yeah, I'm considering a career in stand-up," I muttered as I tried to figure out how to get in the car and fake an abdominal injury without enlightening the world as to the exact nature of Victoria's secret.
"Absolutely not. I forbid it." The tires on the Porsche squealed as she slung it into reverse. "No self-respecting future model is friends with a female comedian. Unless it's Ellen, of course."
The drive to McGuire's should have taken an hour, but Ashley managed to make it in thirty-three minutes flat. I knew this because she clocked herself with the stop-watch app on her iPhone.
"I've changed my mind. I don't want to do this," I said as she slid the car into a parking spot so quickly my seat belt came dangerously close to cutting me in two. It was a stupid idea for a myriad of reasons, the top two being we were nowhere close to the twenty-one minimum age requirement, and it was not in the confines of Lake County. I could see how the next ten minutes of my life was going to pan out: The bouncer was going to laugh in our faces, and then Toby would show up, take me out back, and put a bullet in my skull. This is the sort of things that happened to girls who tried to break the rules. I was sure of it.
"Don't be such a chicken. I do this all the time."
I might have found comfort in that if I didn't know that Ashley had a problem with the truth, like her tendency to stretch and recreate it to suit her needs. "I do this all the time" could have meant anything from "I got away with it once" to "I do this all the time in my fantasy world."
I reluctantly allowed her to drag me out of the car. The first thing I noticed about the guy at the door was that he had a tattoo of a snake wrapped around his arm with the head of the snake curled around an apple on the back of his hand. It was unique and strangely poetic, which was the exact same way I would have described it's owner, Kit Berkley.
It had been at least six years since I last saw Kit. At the time he was one of those teenage boys who managed to grow an entire foot over night, thereby losing anything resembling coordination with his newly elongated limbs. He was a shy guy who preferred books to people, a trait with which I could definitely identify. We often debated what constituted high literature, me arguing on the side of a mix of intelligence and creativity while Kit was more of a beautiful language and Important Message kind of guy. He was a really sweet boy.
The person guarding the door of the only bar outside of Nashville a decent person would be caught dead in looked like he might rip your tongue out for calling him sweet.
"Ash!" He wrapped his arms around my partner in crime, a smile of absolute delight on his face.
"K-Bro, how goes it?" She was giggling as he lifted her in the air. I tried not to notice that she was wearing a pair of blue and pink polka-dotted panties.
He sat her back down and looked me over. "Scout Donovan? Is that you?"
"In the flesh." And a little black dress, but mostly just flesh. Lots and lots of exposed flesh.
"You certainly grew up nice and pretty, not that I ever doubted that you would." He gave me a pat, which didn't feel insulting coming from him. Not that I would have done much about it if it had. He was acting like Old Kit at the moment, but you never knew when the 'roid rage would kick in.
"And you grew... Well, you certainly grew."
Kit laughed and patted his somewhat paunchy belly. "Up and out." He gave Ashley's shoulders a squeeze. "What are two pretty girls like you up to tonight?"
"Scout needs a night out." Ashley constructed a face that so convincingly portrayed concern even I almost believed her. "It's time she started having fun again."
You know that I feel really crappy about what happened to you but even crappier about the fact I now have to feel all awkward because of it look people get after you've been through something super sucky? That was the look Kit gave me. "Oh yeah. I'm real sorry about all that stuff that happened to you. That was rough."
He didn't even know half of if. "I'm getting better," I lied.
"Here, you girls go on in. Tell Bobby at the bar that your drinks are all on me tonight, okay?"
"Thanks, Kit." Ashley gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek before grabbing my hand and dragging me through the door. "You're the best big brother ever!"
The inside of the building was dark, and it took me a second to adjust. It was just two days past the new moon, so my night vision wasn't working so well. "Big brother? His dad was married to your mom for literally six months when we were in middle school."
"That doesn't mean he's not my brother anymore."
"I think it does."
"Scout, that's not how it works. Once a brother, always a brother."
"But you dated Gabe Riggs."
"So?"
"So, his dad was married to your mom for like two whole years." Which was pretty much a record for Ashley's mom, who had married half the men in Lake County. Well, half the men with an annual income well into the upper ranges of six figures.
Ashley sashayed up to the bar, winking at an old man who nearly fell of out his chair checking out the way her micro-mini skirt clung to her butt. "That was different. Gabe and I never bonded. Kit and I did."
"And Gabe couldn't get you into clubs and buy you free drinks."
She gave me a quick scowl before turning to the attractive Latino man who stood behind the bar. "Hey, Bobby. Kit's buying drinks for me and my friend tonight. Ain't that nice of him?"
"Precious." I liked Bobby. It was the combo of exotic beauty and sarcasm delivered with a shocking Southern drawl that did it.
"I want a fuzzy navel. Scout?"
I've never drank alcohol before. I know, what normal American high school graduate hasn't been plastered at least once, right? But drinking never appealed to me, especially witnessing the effect if had on Charlie's family. But, like the good nerd I am, I did a bit of research online before waltzing into a bar.
"Long Island Iced Tea, please," I ordered as casually as I could with my hands shaking like they were. I just knew he was going to ask for ID.
Ashley waited until he walked off to turn on me. "LIT? Seriously?"
"Yeah, I like those." Assuming that LIT stood for Long Island Iced Tea. And basing that assumption on the fact that I like iced tea, as long as it has lots of sugar in it. When I saw it on the list of the ten most popular drinks ordered in a bar, I decided it was the one for me.
"LIT? The drink with like four different kinds of hard liquor in it?"
Four different kinds of hard liquor? Crap. I should have done better research.
"Yep. LITs and Scout. They go together like rum and Coke." Which was totally what I should have ordered. At least it only had rum.
"Here you ladies go," Bobby said in his adorable twang. "Enjoy."
There was little chance of that happening.
I took a tentative first sip and had to fight the urge to spit it out. It tasted like liquid nasty and burned the entire way down.
"How is your LIT?"
"Good." I cleared my throat, hoping that would make the pain stop. "Bobby mixes a mean drink." So mean it had teeth and wasn't afraid to use them.
She clanked her glass of what looked like harmless orange juice against mine. "To a night of fun."
"To us," I murmured through gritted teeth. She took a big swig of her drink. I braced myself and did the same. Amazingly, the second swig was easier. And the third even easier. By the time I started my second glass, I could manage it without making a face.
"Maybe you should slow down a little," Ashley said as I took a big gulp. "Downgrade to a more light-weight drink? You would like Amaretto Sours."
"I like these," I said, shouting to be heard over the band that had begun to play some music that sounded like Billy Joe Armstrong and Barbara Streisand got together and had a tone-deaf child. "And I feel fine."
"Really, Scout. You should drink some water or something."
Now, that did sound like a good idea. Water would keep a hangover away. I didn't want a hangover.
"Bobby, I need water and another LIT," I said as I chugged down half my current glass.
"Scout, really---"
"I'm fine. Sheriously." I giggled. "I said sheriously, didn't I?"
"Yes, because you're drunk."
"It's just a buzz. I can't get drunk. Who has ever heard of a drunk werewolf?"
"Is this some Twilight thing? Because you know I skipped that whole craze."
I laughed again and the motion made me realize my bladder was on the verge of bursting. "I gotta pee! Where's the bathroom in this place?"
She nodded to a dark corner on the other side of the room. McGuire's was a fairly posh place for such a rural area. The big, open room was divided into three areas - the bar, the dance floor/stage, and a section that reminded me of a coffee house with its plush couches and dark wood tables. I was trying to slide between two of the couches when a coffee table stuck out its leg and tripped me. I managed to not land, as Grandma Donovan would have phrased it, ass over tea kettle on the floor. Instead, I sort of just sat down... in the lap of some guy with a crew cut.
"Sorry. The table was out to sabotage me," I slurred as I waited for the room to right itself.
"It's alright." He looked way too young to be hanging out at a club, but I wasn't one to talk. He also seemed to be glowing red.
"Hey, you've got elf ears." I touched the tip of an ear that come up into a little point. "How cute. Hey, you're not really an elf are you? Do you work for Santa Claus?"
"N-n-no, ma'am."
"Are you sure? You can tell me." I leaned over and whispered in his pointy ear. "I'm special too."
One of the elf's friends, a squatty looking guy whose parents obviously didn't love him enough to spend money on an orthodontist, was ogling my pasty white legs which were sprawled, rather unladylike, over the elf's own set of legs. I quickly corrected that problem. "You certainly look special," he said with a wink.
"I'm not talking to you, ogre. Me and the elf were conversing privately."
The ogre boy chuckled and punched his friend on the shoulder. "Hear that, Cayton? She wants to converse with you. Privately."
Just when you thought there was no way a person could turn any redder, the elf proved you wrong.
"Hey, maybe you're a Shifter and you Change into a pointy-eared animal. Are there fox Shifters? You could be a fox." Foxes are red.
"I-I-I'm just a soldier, ma'am."
I knew lots of soldiers, but most of them were pompous asses. Maybe the "not an elf or a fox" boy was different because of his stutter. I wondered if Toby would have been a bit more bearable with a stutter.
"You're not an elf?"
"No, ma'am."
"And you would not Shift into a fox, not in a box, not wearing socks?"
"N-n-no, ma'am."
I sighed. "Then I have no use for you." I tried to get up and only managed it with some assistance. "Thanks," I said once I was fully erect. "It was nice meeting you and your cute ears."
He tried to stammer out a reply, but he was having all sorts of problems with his stutter. I felt bad for him. I hoped the other soldiers didn't make fun of him too much.
I made it to the bathroom without further incident, unless you count having trouble turning the door knob, which I do not. I decided to cut back to the bar through the dance floor to avoid any further run ins with the ornery furniture. I was winding my way through a mass of bodies I'm sure hadn't been there just moments before when I got the feeling someone was watching me. I looked around and found a pair of grey eyes trained on me.
"Excuse me. Let me through." I started pushing people aside, no longer concerned about being polite. I had more important issues to address. "Move. I have to talk to him. I have to tell him I'm sorry." Why wouldn't people let me through?!?!
He was already gone by the time I made it through the crowd.
"Who are you looking for?" Ashley asked, sneaking up beside me. I cursed the new moon and the noise of the club. I hate being snuck up on.
"No one. I thought I saw someone I knew once."
"Well, I've found you someone new to know." She wound an arm around my back and led me back towards the bar. "I need you to do me a favor, okay?"
"Sure." Why not? Unless it involved sacrificing babies, I was game.
"Can you try really hard to be nice? I know it's hard for you, but if you could be a little less Scout-like, I would really appreciate it. These guys are super-cute, and I don't want you scaring them away."
I was offended. "I'm always nice. And I don't scare people."
Ashley smiled sweetly and patted my back where her hand was resting. "Of course not, sweetie. You're always sunshine and rainbows."
I was going to sunshine and rainbows her face if she didn't watch it.
I was also going to have to get her to visit an optometrist. After seeing what she qualified as "super-cute" I was fairly certain her lasik surgery had worn off and she needed to reconsider the glasses she ditched years ago.
"Scout."
"Makya." No growl. No right hook. See? Friendly.
Ashley's face fell. "You guys know each other?"
"Makya is Jase's cousin." And a member of the Hagan Pack. I could take him, but he would call Toby faster than you could say "severe punishment". And as Bambi's mama proved, I was incapable of shutting him up permanently.
"Yeah, me and Harpy here go waaaay back."
Or, then again, maybe I could manage it.
"Oh, so you're that Makya," Ashley said, grabbing onto his bicep with the hand that wasn't already hooked into what I hoped was the belt loop and not the pocket of the poor creature who must have been Makya's friend. "Scout has told me soooo much about you."
I gave her a What the crap? look. She responded with a Play along or else! glare.
Makya's smile was feral. "That's our Scout. Quite the little chatter box."
Ashley tilted her head back and gave a tinkling laugh which I knew for a fact she practiced just as Bobby placed a fresh glass of booze in front of me. I vowed to give him the entire contents of my wallet as a tip.
"So, you want to dance?"
He had to wait for my reply since I was a little busy guzzling down some alcohol goodness. "Umm...not really," I said as I wiped my upper-lip. I felt Ashley's boney elbow dig into my rib. "I meant, I'm not really a very good dancer."
"Come on. It'll be fun."
"I don't really---"
Makya's eyes narrowed. "I want to dance, Scout." He jerked me against him in a move I hadn't seen coming. "It'll be in your best interest to do what I want, Wolf Girl," he breathed into my ear. "I would hate to have to tell my Packmates about how you broke my heart. They might take exception to you being outside of your territory."
In my head I called him every single bad name I could think of, including a few I made up on the spot.
"Okay. I'll dance."
He pulled back just enough so I could see the smugness bleeding out of every pore on his face. "Don't make it sound like you're agreeing to be tortured. My ego is a fragile thing, you know."
If I dropped his body into the lake near the dam no one would ever find it.
"I would love to dance with you."
"Better, but I'm going to need a smile, okay?"
Hell no. "This better?" I asked, using every ounce of energy I had to pull up the corners of my mouth. Those people who say it takes more muscles to frown than smile are in serious danger of having their pants catch on fire.
Surprisingly, dancing with Makya wasn't as bad as I imagined. I'm normally very self-conscious about the whole moving to music thing, but the band was loud and rhythmic and my body seemed to respond of its own accord. Since Makya just danced and didn't run his stupid mouth, it was almost bearable. That was until the band started playing a song that was less pounding and more sultry. Makya closed the space between us, and soon his hands were attempting to be everywhere at the same time.
I tried to move away and redirect his hands to a more appropriate place, like my waist, but they just couldn't seem to take a hint. "That's a no touching zone," I said as one of his hands brazenly groped my breast.
He ignored me and slid a finger underneath the plunging neckline of my dress. You could barely hear the slap over the band, but I'm certain he felt it.
His face was already turning red. I felt confident he would be sporting a hand-shaped mark on his cheek for at least the remainder of the night. "You bitch!" he growled, already shifting into a boxer stance.
I attempted to do the same, but there was a reason Mike Tyson didn't wear a dress and heels in the ring.
"Back off," came a command from over my right shoulder. Even with the multitude of sweaty, alcohol drenched bodies crammed around me, I could smell his familiar cinnamon flavored scent.
Another growl, this one accompanied by a snapping of teeth. "Make me."
I could feel Charlie tense behind me, and then a wave of something washed over me, causing the hairs on the back of my neck to stand on end. I knew the moment it hit Makya. His eyes, which were trained defiantly over my shoulder, widened and then dropped their gaze to the floor. He looked back up almost immediately, but his eyes focused on me instead of Charlie. "This is your only free pass, Wolf Girl. Cross the line one more time and there will be no mercy."
"But there will be more cheesy lines, right?"
Makya swung, but I managed to get my face out of the way, making certain he accomplished nothing more than catching Kit's attention. Less than a minute later, Kit and his tree trunk arms were asking Makya to leave and suggesting he never come back.
When there was nothing left to see, I turned around and looked at Charlie for the first time. Most everyone in the club had on designer fashions, trying to pull off some look they found in a magazine, but Charlie managed to look sexier and more sophisticated than any of them in his plain black T-shirt and well-worn jeans.
I stared into those green eyes I avoided for so long and almost choked on the desire welling up inside. "Dance with me," I commanded
The muscles in Charlie's jaw tightened, but he grabbed me around the waist and pulled me towards him. We quickly found a rhythm, our bodies swaying as our eyes stayed locked together. I focused on the sound of his breathing, the beating of his heart, both of which matched the beat of the music.
"Kiss me."
He hesitated, and I thought for a moment that he wouldn't do it, but then his lips were on mine, hard and unmoving. I pressed against him and eventually his lips parted and began to work against mine. An onlooker might have seen raw passion as we clung to one another, but it was desperation driving our hands and tongues.
After what could have been minutes or hours, I only knew that the band was playing a different song, Charlie pulled away. His lips were swollen and his chest rose and fell visibly with every breath. I was shocked to see tears glistening in his eyes, threatening to fall.
"Scout..." His voice was raw with emotion, which only made my own eyes well up. I opened my mouth, but there were no words, so I did the only thing I could. I turned around and ran out of the bar.
I woke up in a strange bed. Before I could ascertain my whereabouts, a glass of water and bottle of Aspirin was placed next to the alarm clock professing it to be 7:47. As I hefted myself up I began to understand their necessity.
"How are you feeling?" Charlie asked, adding a small bottle of V-8 juice to the bedside table.
"Like I just sat through an entire Justin Bieber concert."
"Headache and nausea?"
"And an overwhelming desire to die."
Bits of the night before came floating to the surface, causing the urges to puke and perish to grow in intensity. Charlie had found me quickly since McGuire's was conveniently located in the middle of a soybean field. I was a snotty mess as he ushered me to his truck. After that, things got a little fuzzy, but I did remember Charlie trying to scoop me up to carry me into an apartment building on the south side of town. Unfortunately, I'm way too long and gangly for him to manage it. We settled on a half-carry, half-drag type scenario, which became especially complicated on the staircase.
"Not surprised. Goat Girl said you had five LITs. What the hell where you thinking?"
Of course he wanted to be all chipper and talkative now that my brain was threatening to leak out my ears.
"First, it was only three." I think. "Secondly, the name is misleading. I don't think there was any tea in those things at all." I counted out three Aspirin, then added another one for posterity's sake. "And third, I thought my Shifter metabolism would burn through the alcohol too fast to cause any damage." I sat up further to avoid choking on my water and watched the room tilt to the left, then the right, and then back to the left again. "Turns out, I was wrong."
"And you couldn't have used Jase's performance at prom to figure that out?"
I felt exceptionally stupid for not having thought of that. "Wolves are bigger and therefore have higher metabolism?"
Charlie shook his head as he passed over the tomato juice. "It's a good thing the bartender started watering your drinks way down after the first one, or you would be in a hospital with alcohol poisoning. Seriously, what made you think bar hoping with Ashley Johnson of all people was a good idea?"
The V8 tasted as wretchedly awful as tomato juice always does, but I gulped some down assuming Charlie had offered it to me for a good reason. "Doesn't bar hoping imply moving around to various establishments? Because we stayed at McGuire's all night. And Ashley was the only person I could think of who would take me."
"Which leads back to why you wanted to be at a bar." He looked at me expectantly, but I kept my mouth shut. "Scout..."
"I didn't want to be alone." I concentrated on the juice clinging to the side of the bottle. It looked like blood, which didn't do stellar things for my stomach. "It's worse when I'm alone and have time to think. So, I went to a place where thinking is strongly discouraged."
"Half the Hagan Pack hangs out at McGuire's."
"I know."
"If Makya had been in a different mood ---"
"I know."
We sat there for a long stretch of silence, me clutching the glass of tomato juice and Charlie working his Adam's apple.
"Do you hate me?" I asked when I could bear the silence no longer.
Charlie didn't even blink, much less answer. I was beginning to think he hadn't heard me, that I was going to have to work up the courage to ask again, when he lifted his head, pinning me with those anguished green eyes. "How could you think that?"
How could I not?
"Everything is wrong, Charlie. Everything. And it's all my fault. I was selfish, taking the one thing I wasn't allowed to have, and now we're all suffering. You should all hate me. I hate myself."
"This isn't your fault."
"Yes, it is. I've ruined so many lives, hurt so many people. And I just keep doing it." I thought about the bar, about Charlie's face as I ordered him to dance with me, the pain in the kiss I had commanded. "It should've been me who died that night."
"Don't say that." His hands clenched onto my face. "Never, ever say that." And then he kissed me. He moved in slowly, giving me a million opportunities to stop him, yet it still shocked me when I felt his lips against mine. These lips were completely unlike the ones last night. They were hesitant and gentle, coaxing mine to respond. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to be lost in the sensation, in the warmth spreading through my body.
I don't know who broke away first. Maybe Charlie pulled back to catch his breath, or perhaps my consciousness sent a message to my body before it screamed awareness in my brain. All I know is the moment his lips left mine, the spell was broken. I didn't even say anything. I just pushed him away and left. No crying. No running. No drama. I simply got up, walked into the living room, and nodded an acknowledgement to the guy I vaguely recognized from my afternoon shooting sessions at Randy's. Then I promptly walked to the nearest bush and purged the entire contents of my stomach.
For the record, Long Island Iced Teas taste even worse the second time they touch your taste buds.
Once I could move again I had to face my next obstacle: Transportation. The keys were probably sitting in the ignition of Charlie's truck since no one would ever even think about stealing a rusted old Ford pickup truck, but taking it would have been a bit harsh. I could've called for a ride, but as far as I knew my cellphone was still sitting in McGuire's. Since phone booths only exist in old movies and there appeared to be no stores in sight, I was screwed.
I considered turning around, but couldn't force myself to go back into the apartment.
I had been walking about fifteen minutes towards the general direction of home when a maroon grandma-style car slowed beside me.
"Scout? Is that you?" Joi asked. I started to make some crack about being Scout's long lost evil twin, but stopped myself since she might actually believe me. "Why are you walking down the street in that little fancy dress?"
I kept trudging along. "It's called the Walk of Shame."
"Is that a Baptist thing?" came the voice from the car as it kept pace with me.
"Please tell me you're kidding."
"Of course. Of course I'm kidding." A pause. "Was it funny?"
I stopped walking and shielded my eyes against the glare of the early morning sun.
"Don't give me that look. Geez, how am I supposed to know? I'm Catholic, remember?"
"You've heard of a Walk of Shame before, right?"
"I do read and watch television, Scout." She leaned across the passenger's seat, making no attempt to disguise her critical perusal of my face. "You look awfully pale. Like, paler than normal. Are you okay? Do you need a ride?"
I didn't hesitate before pulling open the passenger's door and crawling into the wonderfully air conditioned car. The hem of my dress rose to an inappropriate level, but I didn't waste the energy to fix it since Joi had a pair of female legs of her very own to look at if she so desired.
Joi remained silent for a record breaking thirty seconds.
"So, who did you hook up with?"
I threw a hand over my closed eyes, but the sun still managed to somehow stab through to my brain. "I didn't hook up with anyone." Well, Charlie kinda, but she didn't need to know that. "My Walk of Shame was a variation on the original."
"Want to talk about it?"
"Absolutely not."
Three whole breaths of silence.
"You're moving around really good. I guess your stomach is better."
"Yep."
Four breaths of silence.
"John and I are back together. Did you hear?"
"Nuh-uh."
"Oh yeah. That whole break-up thing was a total misunderstanding. He's like the sweetest guy ever. He's always sending me the sweetest text messages and leaving the sweetest notes on my Facebook wall and even bought me some of the sweetest looking daisies the other day for absolutely no reason at all."
"Sweet."
"I know, right? And you know what he's started doing?"
"Something really, really sweet?"
"Totally sweet. He's been coming to The Farmhouse and hanging out while I work every shift. Like, the whole time. Even when I have to open, he is waiting at the door when it's unlocked at five in the morning."
"That's not sweet, Joi. It's crazy." Who wakes up at five in the morning? "Sweetie, I think we need to have a talk about obsessive behavior and establishing boundaries in a relationship."
"It's not like that." I opened one eye and immediately regretted it. Why couldn't I have a hangover on a cloudy day? "Stop looking at me like that," she said. "I'm not an idiot, you know. He's there because of this guy who keeps coming in and wigging me out. My manager thinks I'm overreacting, and I can't afford to quit, so John has been playing bodyguard."
I still wasn't sold on John's nobility, but... "You have a creeper harassing you at work and your manager won't do anything about it?"
"He doesn't actually do anything, he's just..." Joi turned the car off the main highway. "He's like a Disney villain. He's got this Rasputin accent, his face is all mangled, and he does this whole evil leering thing that gives me goosebumps, and not the good kind."
I felt as if I'd been stabbed in the gut with an icicle. "Rasputin accent? Like Russian?"
"Is there a non-Russian Rasputin?"
"And his face, is there a scar that runs from here to here?" I asked, tracing a line from my temple to the corner of my mouth.
"So you've seen him too? He's got a bad aura or something, right?"
"Or something." I could still see the man who approached me after Alex's funeral. Three minutes. That's how long Stefan stood in front of me, yet he left a lasting impression, and not just because he suggested that Alex wasn't who I thought he was. No, there was something about him - maybe that aura Joi was talking about - that made me want to turn tail and run. "Joi, do you know what he's doing in Timber?"
"Besides scaring the bejesus out of me? Not really. He comes in everyday, sometimes twice a day. If he's alone, he just sits there staring at everyone as if he's plotting their death. But most of the time there are three other guys with him. One of them is kinda cute, but they stay there forever." The car stopped in front of my house. "It used to really bother me, but now John is always there to protect me because he's the bestest boyfriend ever."
I didn't really see what good John was going to do anyone, but I was glad Joi had someone looking out for her, even if he was a clueless redneck. Joi really wanted to hang out and chat some more, but neither my head nor teeth could handle any more sweetness. After making her promise to watch herself around the Russian creeper, I sent her on her entirely too merry way.
The house was quiet when I entered. The parentals and Angel weren't due to arrive home until early afternoon, and Jase and Talley were both still asleep. After throwing on some pajamas I found in the clothes dryer, I laid down on the couch and tried to think through the whole Stefan situation despite the Keith Moon solo going on in my head.
Logic told me he was still doing exactly what he said he was doing at the funeral - looking for Liam. My gut, however, had a different opinion. It was convinced I should be worried, which was just stupid. Sure, the guy was creepy as heck, and I wasn't inclined to believe a word he said, but what interest did he have in me? I felt certain the Hagan Pack was keeping their word about my furry condition since I hadn't heard of any of Jase's family members being hospitalized lately. So, to Stefan I was just another grieving girlfriend, right?
My gut told me not to be a chump.
My brain said to just chill.
My gut disagreed.
My brain disagreed with my gut's disagreement.
Somewhere in the middle of the long and unproductive argument which ensued I drifted off to sleep. The next thing I knew someone was pounding on the front door.
"Hang on a minute," I mumbled. Jase accidentally locking himself out of the house was annoying enough under normal circumstances. When he woke me up because of it, it was completely unacceptable. "You do know Dad will kill you if you've lost the spare again, right?" I slung open the door to reveal a grizzled old man with sapphire eyes.
Definitely not Jase.
"Mr. Matthews?"
Talley's dad didn't bother with pleasantries. "I'm huntin' for my girl."
Crap.
"Oh, ummm.... She slept over last night." And the night before that. And the night before that. And the night before that... "Did she know you were coming to visit? Cause she didn't say anything to me about it."
"It wasn't planned. Now, where is she?" Mr. Matthews made a move to step around me, but I blocked his path. "Move aside, child. This ain't none of your business."
"I'd love to let you in, sir," I lied. "But, you see, my parents are out of town, and I'm not allowed to let anyone in the house when they're not here. You know how overprotective parents can be."
He looked like he might go ahead and plow right past me, but then he gave a slight nod and backed up a step. "Well, then, you get Talley and tell her her daddy wants to see her."
I spread my lips apart, hoping the result was something resembling a smile. "No problem. Be right back, Mr. Matthews." Then I slammed the door in his face.
It didn't take long to find Talley since she was standing at the top of the stairs looking as though she'd seen a ghost.
"Where is Jase?" I mouthed, unsure about Mr. Matthews' hearing range. At this point in the lunar cycle my hearing was just on the really good side of a normal human, but I didn't want to risk it.
"Still in bed," she said, her voice just above a whisper. "Charlie?"
"The last time I saw him was at Lanky McLankster's apartment." Talley's eyebrows crinkled together but I didn't have the time or desire to explain "What do we do?"
"What do we do about about what?" Jase asked, stumbling out of his bedroom. His hair was sticking up in a million directions and he sported a nice t-shirt and boxer shorts combo. He took one look at Talley's face and jerked completely awake. "What's wrong?"
"My dad."
Jase swore under his breath. "Did he call?"
"He's outside."
Jase replaced his earlier statement with a word that would have meant a whole month of extra chores had our parents heard.
"Maybe Talley can sneak out the back door," I suggested. "We can tell them she left before I woke up."
"Won't work," said Jase. "He'll have seen the car."
"And where would I go?" Talley took a deep, shaky breath. "He's not going to drop this." As if to accentuate her point, Mr. Matthews rapped on the front door yet again. I started back down the stairs, more out of a Pavlovian response to a knock at the door than anything else.
"What's the plan?" Jase hissed.
"I don't have one," I said over my shoulder. "We'll play it by ear." Granted, it was a horrible approach knowing what was on the line, but what else was I supposed to do?
"Sorry, Mr. Matthews," I said, opening the door. "She was still asleep. You know how she is. Lazy, lazy Talley."
Mr. Matthews seemed to forget I was there. "Talley, get your stuff. You're coming with me."
"But she hasn't had a shower. Or breakfast." Apparently my plan was to babble on like a clueless idiot. Great. There was no way that was going to go wrong.
Of course, it didn't really matter what I said since Mr. Matthews had grown deaf to the sound of my voice. "You've got five minutes to get clothes on and get in the truck, or I'm coming in after you."
"But she---"
"No," Jase said, cutting me off. "She stays."
Operation: Clueless, abandoned. Operation: Keep Jase From Getting Killed, activated.
"You ain't got no say in this, boy."
Jase's eyes seemed lit by a green fire. I saw his fingers curl up into a fist just as Talley stepped around him to face her father.
"What are you doing here, Daddy?"
Mr. Matthews proved he really had forgotten my existence by telling her exactly what he was doing in Timber. "I got me a call at midnight tellin' me I oughta come down here and see what my daughter was up to. Said you had run off from your Pack and was shaking up with some outcasts and a Wolf Girl. Now, I don't know who you boys have taken up with, but my Talley ain't stayin' with you. She's coming home to her real Pack back in Frenchburg."
Someone called at midnight? And used the words "Wolf Girl'? A pity I didn't toss Makya's body in the lake when I had the chance.
"I said she stays." Jase tugged Talley back by the end of her shirt.
I thought Mr. Matthews would be angry at Jase's defiance, but instead he threw his head back and laughed long enough and hard enough I was able to see that each and every one of his teeth were present and accounted for. "What? You think you're her Pack Leader now?" He shook his head. "You know you can't take me, son. Move aside."
Jase flexed and Talley did the only intelligent thing, which was move out of his way. Mr. Matthew calmly unbuttoned his shirt, revealing a white wifebeater underneath. "I don't like fighting children," he said, bending down to jerk off his boots. "Seems to me, though, you need to be taught lesson."
Without further warning, Mr. Matthews barreled through the front door and launched into a tornado kick, taking Jase down to one knee. Jase immediately bounced back up, getting in a strike that just missed Mr. Matthews' liver before Mr. Matthews caught him with an elbow slash.
It didn't take a martial arts expert to see where this fight was going. Jase was good, but Mr. Matthews was better. Much better.
Normally, I'm enthusiastic in my support of a fair fight, but this wasn't a normal circumstance. This was someone trying to take my Talley away from me, and I wasn't about to let it happen.
Mr. Matthews took Jase to the floor, which made it easier for me to hook a leg around his middle from behind. I had him in a rear naked choke hold before he even realized I was a threat. He tried grabbing onto my wrist, but I broke his hold with a palm strike and then tightened my squeeze. It took a little while, but eventually he stopped squirming.
"Forgetting there were two black belt fighters in the room wasn't just rude, it was stupid." I loosened the hold just enough so he wouldn't pass out, but not enough he could go anywhere. I leaned in so my lips were right at his ear. "You're not taking her anywhere." I released him and jumped back, not taking the risk of underestimating a Dominant. Fortunately, though, he didn't go all Super Shifter on me and stayed down, massaging his throat as he coughed.
"Consider this a warning," Jase said, standing above Mr. Matthews as if he was the one who took him down. "The next time you try to take my Seer you won't be walking away."
Mr. Matthews glared up at Jase. "She ain't your Seer, now is she?" His hateful eyes swung around until they found me. "You think she's yours, don't you, witch?"
I couldn't help it. I laughed. "You're here to kidnap my best friend, you kicked my brother in the face, and I just about choked you to death, but you think it's impolite to actually say the word bitch?" Jase shook his head at me, but I kept going. "I mean, it's really not even a cuss word when applied to me. Once a month I am an actual female dog."
Mr. Matthew rose shakily to his full height. "The Bible says we're not to suffer a witch to live."
Great. Crazy selective hearing man is also crazy religion man.
"It also says stuff about loving your neighbor and turning the other cheek. Maybe you should focus on those parts."
Mr. Matthews eyes bugged out of his now crimson colored skin. "I won't tolerate blasphemy."
"Listen, I love Jesus and all, but that isn't going to stop me from putting you on the ground again."
"You think you're so smart, don't ya, girl?" Saliva clung to the corners of his mouth, stretching out like webs as he spoke. "How smart are you going to feel when the Alpha Pack comes to give me back what is mine? You think you'll be able to joke your way out of their death sentence?"
"What makes you think she belongs to you?"
"The contract I signed with the Hagans gave her to her Mama's Pack. I don't see her Mama here, so that means they don't want her no more, and she comes back to me."
"What if she has a mate?" I didn't even know where that came from. I mean, I knew it came from one of my mentally unhinged dreams, but I have no idea what possessed me to say it. Honestly, I was just grabbing at straws at the moment, doing anything and everything to protect Talley.
Mr. Matthews whipped his head towards Talley, but Jase slid in front of her, acting as a human shield. "You?" He said, focusing on my brother. "I'm supposed to believe Mr. All-State has mated her?" His lips curled and my opinion of the man sunk to a new low. "Nice try, but I ain't buying it. I don't smell you on her."
For the first time in recent memory, Jase blushed bright red. "The mating hasn't been completed, but I've laid my claim."
"And if the Alpha Pack should ask for a declaration...?"
"I'll declare it before anyone and everyone. Talley Matthews is my mate."
Mr. Matthews looked past Jase. "Talley, don't lie to your Daddy."
"I've accepted Jase Donovan as my mate," she said, voice quaking and face the color of snow.
"You understand I consider this an oath."
Talley nodded and Jase said, "Good. We'll send you an invitation to the wedding. Now, leave."
Mr. Matthews grabbed his discarded shirt and shoes, but made sure to say a few parting words to me before he left. "I'm leaving her with him, not you."
"As long as you're leaving and she's staying, I don't really care."
"They'll tear you to pieces and scatter the parts to the four corners of the earth."
"That could be difficult since the earth is round and all." I circled a finger in the air to illustrate my point.
"Joke while you can, witch," he spat. "You'll be dealt with soon enough." And with that ominous declaration, he turned and walked out the door, and almost right into Charlie, whose bloodshot eyes told me my bad day was about to get worse.
"Who was that?" Charlie asked, watching as an ancient car with mismatched doors retreated slowly down the driveway.
Since I really didn't want to talk to Charlie, and Talley was too busy staring at the floor, Jase answered. "Pack Leader of the Matthews Pack."
If Charlie was surprised by that tidbit he didn't show it. "You okay, Tal?" She nodded her head, but didn't look up. Tears weren't actively falling, but I knew it was because she was forcing them to stay in by sheer will and determination.
"He obviously didn't leave without a fight," Charlie said, looking at the side of Jase's face, which was getting puffier by the second. "Is he coming back soon enough for us to prepare, or do we need to hit the road?"
I balked. Sure, I was okay with Talley taking off while we figured out the situation, but we weren't cowards. If anything was going to happen, I was going to stay and fight. "He's not coming back," I said.
Charlie looked from me to Talley, who was going to have to have her fingers surgically removed from her hair, back to me again. "How did you manage that?"
"I told him Talley had a mate, and he just left."
Even before his zombification, Charlie didn't startle easy. So when his eyes did the whole size of saucers thing and his chin dropped open, I knew this was some sort of big deal. Being the self-absorbed person I am, I assumed it was my quick-fire wit that was the cause of awe.
"Jase, man, tell me you didn't..."
"I made a declaration," he said between clinched teeth. Talley sniffled.
We all just stood there for a long moment. I thought about suggesting we move out of the tiny foyer and into the living room where the sit-down type furniture lived, but I was afraid to speak up. The tension in the room was palatable. Charlie rubbed at his eyes; Talley blinked rapidly, pulling on the corners of her lashes to keep the tears at bay; and Jase looked at each of the walls as if trying to decide which on to put a hole in with his fist.
Talley was the one to finally end the silence.
"I'm sorry," she said so softly I only caught every other syllable.
Unable to pick a wall, Jase grabbed his head with both hands and attempted to crack his own skull. "I don't want to hear it."
I was in his face before Talley could suck in a breath. "Don't speak to her like that! What on earth has she done to you?"
"Her? Nothing." Jase's hands fell to his sides as he leaned in towards me. "It's you who has screwed us all over. Again."
"What did I do?"
"What did you do? What did you do?" Suddenly the foyer felt way too small. "That's the problem. You just go around doing stuff you have no idea about, never thinking that there could be consequences."
"I'm sorry. I..." I looked to Talley for help, but instead discovered she'd lost her battle against the tears. "Just somebody tell me what I've done so I can fix it."
Jase laughed, a mocking and cruel sound.
"If he made a declaration there is no going back," Charlie said, the pity in his voice almost as horrible as Jase's laugh.
"What do you mean 'a declaration'? No going back from what?"
"See what I mean? She doesn't know anything about being a Shifter, but she keeps coming into our world and making a mess of things."
A spike of anger stabbed through me, but it was almost instantly replaced by guilt. Yes, I was a Shifter now. And no, I didn't ask for it to happen, but Jase was right. I was an outsider who kept hurting everyone I loved over and over again.
"Jase, why don't you take Talley upstairs?" Jase snarled up his nose and opened his mouth to snap something back at Charlie, but then Talley muttered something that might have been "I'm okay" or "That's okay" or, possibly, "No freaking way."
"Come on, Tal," Jase said, moving his hand as if to put it on her shoulder but stopping so it hovered a few inches from her actual person.
"You don't have to ---"
"We're mates now," he said, sparing me a glare. "We might as well start learning to act like it." Her shoulder dipped in as she wrapped her arms across the top of her stomach. "Please, Tal. I can't stay down here anymore." Another go-to-hell look shot in my direction. Talley nodded and, without even sparing me a glance, went with Jase up the stairs.
"Have you eaten yet?" Charlie asked as he watched them go.
I shook my head slowly, the mere thought of food making me ill.
"Come on. I'll make you toast."
I wanted to tell him I didn't want toast, and I most certainly didn't want him making it for me. The absolute last thing I wanted was to talk to Charlie again, but I followed him to the kitchen anyway, too drained by Jase to put up a fight.
"Peanut butter and honey or butter and jelly?" he asked, moving around the cupboards as I slid onto a kitchen chair.
"Dry," I said.
Charlie raised an eyebrow and grabbed some Nutella.
I was completely confused by his actions. Six months ago this was exactly what I would've expected from him, but now? After the last two months? After last night? After this morning? He should have been filled with the same hostile energy as Jase, not flitting about the kitchen making me toast.
"Charlie, you have to know, I honestly didn't think this mate thing was going to be a big deal."
"Of course you didn't." The bread popped out of the toaster, a beautiful golden brown. "And it's probably the only thing that would've worked short of taking down an entire Pack in a Dominance Challenge, which I'm fairly certain we're not up for." He slathered Nutella onto the toast before bringing it over to me. "Here. You need protein."
I took his offering, sniffed it as if the chocolate and hazel nutty goodnes might be rancid, and took a small bite. It was possibly the best food I'd ever put in my mouth.
"Charlie, why are you being so nice to me?" I knew I was opening up a Costco-sized can of angsty worms, but I had to know.
Charlie looked as if he didn't understand the question. "You're one of my best friends."
I will not cry again. I will not cry again. I will not cry again...
"Even after... everything?" It couldn't be that easy. "Charlie, I kissed you and then ran away. Twice. In less than twelve hours."
"Yeah, not the most stellar thing for my self-esteem, so can we never speak of it again?"
"Then, why...?" I took a deep breath. "I thought you would be mad."
Charlie slid a second piece of toast across the table. "I've never really been good at staying mad at you. The longest I've ever lasted was when you told your mom that Jase and I had been playing soldiers on the roof." He smiled. It was just a tiny little thing, but it was real enough to make my heart do a merry skip. "It took you most the afternoon to worm your way back into my good graces."
"But the past two months..."
"The past two months have been hell on everyone." All traces of the smile were gone as he slumped into the seat opposite me. "And I didn't make it any easier on you. I'm sorry about that. Really. I was so lost in my own head I couldn't see straight." He started brushing crumbs off the table in an uncharacteristic bout of nervousness. "I've been seeing someone," he finally blurted out.
I was glad he was concentrating so hard on clearing the table of toast debris he didn't see my reaction.
"Is she nice?" Something was wrong with my chest, like maybe my lungs went missing.
"He's great." Charlie looked up and caught my expression. The bark of laughter that followed was so abrupt I nearly fell out of my seat. "A shrink, Scout. I've been going to therapy."
"Oh, good!" Crap, that wasn't right. "I don't mean good good, I just mean, you know..." Either the temperature in the kitchen suddenly skyrocketed or my face was glowing red with embarrassment. "So, the therapy thing is helping with stuff?"
"I'm not spinning through the meadow, singing about how alive the mountains are or anything, but yeah, I'm learning to deal."
"What is it with you and musicals, Chuck?"
"You know Judd?"
"From Oklahoma!?"
Charlie sighed. "From Randy's"
"Oh, that Judd. I think I saw him wrapped up in a zebra print Snuggie this morning."
"Yeah, that's Judd," he said as if the guy was often seen in animal print novelty items. "His dad is the guy I've been going to. After you left this morning, Judd called him and asked him to come over. We've been talking things out for hours."
Great, I drove Charlie to a marathon session with a shrink. I was made of win. "Was he able to help?" Maybe give you some helpful hints as to how to cut me out of your life forever before I completely ruin it?
"He did." Charlie took a deep breath and then focused on me. Intently. Frighteningly so. "He helped me figure out some stuff."
"Stuff like...?" I was being nosey and rude, but I had to know.
"Stuff like how you and I can't go back to where we were or get to where we were going, and that it's unfair for either of us to try." I couldn't say anything since my tongue decided to glue itself to the roof of my mouth, but I nodded as if I understood. "And I realized there are some things about us that will never change, no matter what."
"What things are those?"
Charlie reached across the table and took hold of my fingers. "We're friends, Scout. To infinity and beyond. No matter what, I will always be your friend."
Dammit. I was crying. Again. "Friends. Until the rest of ever."
Big, manly fingers tightened around my boney ones. "We cool?"
All this time I thought I wanted Charlie pushed far out of my life. I was wrong. And I knew I was wrong because at that moment, when I realized he wasn't going anywhere, my face nearly split in two from smiling so freaking hard. "Like a cucumber."
"Good, because Jase and Talley aren't right now."
And with that joyous breakthrough, we were moving on to the next crisis.
"Since we're cool now, could you please just explain to me what I did wrong without vaguing it all up to the point I can't understand what anyone is talking about?"
Charlie pulled his hands back across the table. "How much to you know about mating?"
"In the general, animal kingdom sense, or specific Shifter stuff?"
"Specific Shifter stuff."
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"Nope. Not a thing."
Charlie's forehead folded up like an accordion. "Then how did you know to tell Talley's dad she was mated?"
My dead boyfriend told me in one of my crazy person dreams.
"I overheard someone say something about mates somewhere and just threw it out there. Honestly, I had no idea it would actually work."
"So, you don't know anything about declarations or oaths or lifelong bonds?" I shook my head. "You really have no clue what just happened, do you?"
"I pissed off Jase and made Talley cry. That pretty much sums up everything I know up to this point."
Charlie leaned back in the chair, raising two of the feet off the floor. "Mating is something that can only happen between Shifters and Seers. You remember in history class how the prince of one country would marry the princess of another country so when they became King and Queen their countries would be allies?"
"Yes."
"Mating works a little like that."
I pinched the bridge of my nose between two fingers. "For the love of all things holy, please tell me you guys don't arrange marriages." I was so going to have to go all Rosie the Riveter on the Shifter world over this crazy crap.
"Not exactly. The Seer is always free to pick her mate, if she takes one. Most don't bother."
"Seers don't believe in marriage?"
Charlie's chair plopped back down. "Marriage and mating aren't exactly the same. If this is having a spouse," he lifted one hand, chest high, "then this is having a mate." He lifted the other hand as high as it would go, considered it for a moment, and then turned his hand so his fingers stretched towards the ceiling.
I frowned. "It's more what? Demanding? Intimate? The ceremony makes Prince William and Kate's wedding look like a Vegas drive-thru? Are they one of those annoying couples always attached at the hip?"
"Yes."
"Yes to which part?"
"All of it." Charlie looked at the ceiling, his hands suspended in front of him. He seemed to be seeking guidance. "It's complicated," he finally said.
I kicked him under the table. "Try again."
"I don't know, really. It's all sort of mysterious and secretive. I just know mates can't get a divorce, ever. And there is some sort of bond that happens, like a weird psychic connection or something that dulls the further away you are from your mate. It's the reason Mrs. Matthews came here."
"Mr. and Mrs. Matthews are mated? But I thought you said mates can't get divorced?"
"They can't." He leaned in and lowered his voice. "Apparently, Mr. Matthews was really abusive. When Mrs. Matthews found out she was pregnant with Talley she got scared and petitioned the Alphas, asking them to cull Mr. Matthews from the Pack."
"Cull?"
Charlie slid a finger across his throat. Of course, cull. Shouldn't I have already figured out that was how Shifters dealt with all issues?
"They refused, but they did allow her to leave her Pack. They placed her in a Lexington Pack at first, but he was still able to mess with her through their connection, so they sent her here to watch over Jase."
Poor Talley. I knew her parents were screwed up, but this was reality TV bad.
"Have you ever noticed how Mrs. Matthews never dates?"
Well, it never occurred to me she should, but... "Yeah."
"It's because she's still mated. Mates can only be with each other. Although, I'm not sure if there's an issue," he tilted his head down and raised his eyebrows, "or what."
"But there is a ceremony, right? To make people mates? Jase and Talley just won't do that. We'll think of a new solution, and then they can fake break off their fake relationship."
"Except Jase said he swore an oath."
"Yeah, but he was just calling Mr. Matthews' bluff."
I knew Charlie's response from the grim line of his mouth before he ever said anything. "His motivation doesn't matter. Once he's claimed her, it's set in stone. By this time next year there will be a ceremony, and then they're mated. Forever."
If my heart made it through the day without actually exploding it would be a miracle. "A year? But Jase just turned eighteen last month. They can't get married or whatever it is mates do."
"They have to."
"Or what? They get whacked?"
"Not killed. Banished."
"Banished from...?"
"Shifter culture. They can't be a part of a Pack and can't hold territory."
My shoulders slumped in relief. I really thought they'd be as good as severely punished. "That doesn't sound so bad. It's not like anyone could force us to kick them out."
"Actually, they would."
Of course they would. "How exactly would they do that?"
Charlie cocked an eyebrow.
"Let me guess," I said, "this where the getting killed part comes in."
"Harboring a banished Seer or Shifter is considered an act of treason."
"Charlie, either I don't understand the definition of 'treason', or that makes no sense whatsoever."
"In a way, it does," Charlie said, leaning back in his chair once more. "Anyone banished is considered an enemy of the Alpha Pack. Helping your government's enemy is pretty much frowned upon in any society. What do you think the charges would be if we were housing a known member of Al Queda?"
I hated it when he made sense. "So, what? They have to go all lone wolf?"
"You do know we're coyotes, right?"
I tossed the salt shaker at his head, but he just plucked it from the air.
"Yes, they go all lone Shifter," he said, placing the salt shaker back in the center of the table. "And it's not exactly easy. Most reasonable spots for a Shifter to live are already claimed. I've heard some parts of major cities have even been claimed as territory for business reasons. That means there isn't anywhere really for a Shifter to go without being Challenged."
Which would mean a life of fighting since they couldn't claim the territory as their own, even if they won. No matter how strong you are, you can't survive long like that.
"And the Seers?" I asked.
Charlie looked at the table.
"Charlie, tell me what happens to the Seers."
"In one aspect, it's easier, because they can't be formally challenged..."
"But?"
"But they're seen as tainted. Dirty. Other Shifters and Seers will go out of their way to pull the usual Mean Girl and Asshole routine until she leaves their territory." He picked at an imaginary something or another on the table. "Gramma Hagan once told me a lot of them commit suicide."
"This is ridiculous!" My knowledge of blood pressure is fairly basic, but I'm pretty sure mine was through the roof. "The whole freakin' Shifter world is freakin' ridiculous!"
"I know it seems extreme, but Shifter customs---"
I held up a hand. "Stop right there. I don't want to hear about your traditions and customs and how sacred they are, because you know what? They're misogynistic, fear-mongering crap."
"Gee, Scout, why don't you tell me how you really feel?"
"What I don't understand is why the Seers haven't revolted," I continued on, gaining steam. "I mean, you say you revere them and couldn't exist without them. You tell them they're second in command, and then you treat like cattle or slaves or enslaved cattle. That whole 'most respected member of the Pack' crock is just to keep them in line so they'll do whatever you want them to do."
"Hey, wait. I never---"
"Talley is the very definition of innocence, and look what your stupid Shifter rules have done to her. First, she gets tossed aside and sold to the Hagan Pack by her father because he thought she was broken, unable to See anything. Then, once she becomes Senorita Sees A Lot, she has to worry about being spirited away by a bunch of men who think they own her somehow. And now, just because I don't know when to shut my mouth, she's going to be forced into an unbreakable mating with Jase. What the hell is wrong with you people?"
"Did you just cuss?"
"Answer the damn question!" I said so loud all movement in the house stopped.
"Scout," Charlie said slowly, his voice soft and calming as if he was talking to a skittish animal. "I didn't make the rules. None of us did. I don't know who made them - George Washington, Napoleon, old Mrs. Faye from down the street, or someone equally ancient I'm sure - but it wasn't me or Jase or any member of the Hagan Pack. Heck, we're coyotes. No one asks our opinion on anything, so you can tone down the righteous anger a couple of notches.
I knew he was making sense, but aiming all that anger at the male Shifters was preferable to admitting I had just ruined my brother's and best friend's lives. "Surely you realize how horrid these stupid traditions are, right?"
"Traditions make us who we are."
"Where did you pick that up? Find it in a fortune cookie?"
"I got if from you, actually." I raised a pair of dubious eyebrows. "Last May. I didn't want to walk in graduation. You told me I had to because it was tradition, and, I quote, 'Traditions are important. They make us who we are.'"
If Charlie's Scout imitation was to be believed, I sound an awful lot like Angela Lansbury.
"This is different," I countered. "This isn't wearing a burnt orange polyester monstrosity for a few hours to mark an important rite of passage. This is Jase and Talley spending their lives in a loveless marriage because they're worried they'll get sentenced to a life of abuse followed by an early grave."
Charlie leaned further across the table, eyes narrowed in a challenge. "How do you know it will be?"
"How do I know what will be what?"
"The mating. How do you know it will be loveless?"
I tried to think of a way to word what I wanted to say without being too Scout-like about it, but was having trouble when the answer to his question walked into the kitchen, her swollen eyes and tear-stained cheeks leaving no room for argument.
"Talley, I..." What could I possibly say to her? "I'm sorry. I didn't know what I was doing, which is really no excuse---"
"It's okay," she said, cutting me off short with the wave of a hand. "It was a smart strategic move. Any Pack Leader quick enough to think of it would have done the same thing."
I hated the way her voice sounded like she'd swallowed a load of gravel. I hated the way her eyes glowed blue in a sea of red. I hated the way she talked about herself as if she was a crate of semi-automatic rifles or strip of land. And I hated myself for jerking her out of the frying pan only to throw her into a pot of boiling water, right along with Jase.
Charlie cocked his head at Talley. "You doing okay?"
"Uh-huh," she said a bit too enthusiastically for someone who had a single tear sliding down her cheek. Charlie got up and gathered her into his arms, squeezing her for all he was worth. When she pulled back, a shaky smile rested on Talley's mouth. "I missed you," she said.
Charlie blinked hard. "I missed me, too."
"You know it's still going to be hard, don't you?"
"I never expected anything less." He kissed her forehead before contorting his mouth into a huge yawn.
Talley's voice took on a distinctly Mrs. Matthews tone. "When was the last time you slept?"
Charlie glanced at the digital clock on the microwave. "That depends. What day is it?"
Talley disengaged her arms from his waist so they could cross in front of her chest. "Bed. Now."
Right on cue, he yawned again. "You know, that's not a half bad idea." Then, as if his abrupt exit wasn't enough, he mouthed, "Talk to her," over Talley's shoulder.
Great. No pressure or anything.
When Charlie left, I resumed my efforts at making amends. "I'm going to find a way to fix this. I swear, Tal, I'm going to make it right." She didn't even look at me as she ventured over to the fridge to forge for something to eat. "I mean, there has to be a way out of this. I'm not going to let you become a roaming vagabond---"
"Stop. Just stop." She was still focused on the contents of the fridge, but I figured she was talking to me instead of the Welch's grape juice. "I don't want to talk about it, okay?"
"But Tal---"
"Scout, no." When her eyes found mine they were full of conviction. "Just leave it alone. I can't deal with this right now."
I acceded to her request, convinced she would eventually talk to me about it, but it didn't take long for hope to fade on that front. The week drug on, but she never once approached the topic and was quick to redirect anytime I tried to subtly bring it up. It made things between us a little awkward, but not nearly as awkward as things between her and Jase.
According to Charlie, it was important for them to appear to be a mated, or soon-to-be-mated, couple. I started feeling less like a Pack Leader and more like the marketing agent behind some Hollywood super couple. I had to figure out strategic places for them to be seen by large groups of gossipy people getting as snuggly as two people who won't touch each other could. Working around their work schedules and Jase's continued grounding made things extra fun. I realized my life was beyond not right when Ashely Johnson called to confirm whether or not they were dating and I did a fist pump.
When Talley and I finally did have a heart to heart, it wasn't quite what I expected.
I was having one of my Alex dreams. We were sitting on the beach, a good two feet of rocks and sand between us, talking about the whole mate situation. It was only the second meeting since I up and realized he wasn't really there. Both times we kept more distance from each other than before. I missed the contact - the feel of his skin, the taste of his mouth - but knew it was for the best. I couldn't literally keep clinging onto a dead boy and hope for things to get better inside my head.
"I still contend this is your fault." I watched the tiny waves lap at my toes and tried to ignore the fact I could actually feel the cool water.
"My fault?" Alex's eyebrows hid behind his bangs. "What did I do?"
"You told me to ask Jase about Talley and mates."
"Ask Jase about Talley and mates. That is not the same thing as making Jase swear an oath that he would take Talley as a mate." He leaned back on his elbows, his profile outlined by the rising sun.
"Well, if you would have just told me about mates in the first place instead of delegating all the giving actual helpful information duties to others, I wouldn't be in this mess. Knowledge is power, Alex." If I sounded petulant and annoyed it was only because I was.
"I want to tell you stuff. Promise, I do, but I can't. That isn't the way things work."
"Because I can't tell myself stuff I don't already know?"
"Or because I was allowed to come to you as a guide, not a leader. If I start telling you too much they'll yank my visitation privileges."
Oh goodie. Rationalization for my craziness.
After five minutes of debating my sanity, things got weird, which is saying something when you're sitting around arguing with your dead boyfriend. It started with a heaviness in my chest. Then my throat closed up and I couldn't get enough air, no matter what I did. I knew the feeling - it was a panic attack, but it was ten times more severe than anything I'd experienced before.
Just about the same time Alex noticed something was wrong with me, the world ripped in two. Honestly, there is no other way to describe it. The view in front of us, the same old boring stretch of lake, tore away as if it was a giant backdrop being blown apart by the wind. Behind it lay a field that wasn't in Western Kentucky, the trees much too tall and skinny and evergreen to be growing in Timber. A stream of sorts divided the field in half. On either side grew tall weeds, and in the tall weeds there were people covered in blood. Every eye, save those who would never see anything again, were trained on a standoff going on several feet from the carnage of what had to have been an epic fight.
The woman on the left was tiny, probably less than five feet tall, and utterly beautiful. The hair falling thickly down to her waist was the same rich black color as her eyes. Her warm brown skin was flawless, as was her petite figure. Despite her size, she radiated power.
The girl on the left was tall and looked as if all the color had been bleached from her, expect for the places where blood stained her hair and skin. I'm not sure what had happened to the other me, but I looked more than half dead. I'm not even sure how I was still standing.
Words were spoken, though I couldn't hear what they were. Then the beautiful woman lunged forward. I didn't see the knife until the moment before it planted into my other stomach.
I jerked up in the bed, a scream ripping from my throat.
"Scout?" I was just able to make out Talley's face by the light of the alarm clock. Tears were streaming down her cheeks.
"Bad dream," I said between pants. My lungs felt as if I'd ran a mile. "You?"
"Horrible dream."
We sat there in silence for a moment, each of us trapped in our own heads. Once my heart slowed down enough I could do something other than attempt to catch my breath, I laid back down on the bed.
"Tal?"
"Yeah?"
"Would it be weird if we snuggled for a little while?"
She answered by latching onto my arm, squeezing it tight. As soon as she made contact, I heard her faint voice in my head. "I won't let you die," she said in the same sultry tone I heard during the full moon. And then I saw a flash of what happened after the knife dug into my belly. My knees folded, my body went limp as it knelt before the other woman. I would have been on the ground if she hadn't been holding me up with the knife. "It's not going to happen," Talley's voice said in my head. "I will not let you die."
"Talley?"
"Am I squeezing too tight?" The manic grip on my arm loosened slightly.
"You're whispering in my head."
"I'm what?"
"Whispering in my head. Like normal Seer communication, except it's not a full moon."
Talley pulled back so she could see me. Her eyebrows and lips were all scrunched up. "What am I saying?"
"Basically that you're not going to let me die, which is ironic since I just had this really awesome dream where some Indian chick stabbed me in the stomach with a knife." I rubbed a hand over my scars. "You know, my stomach hasn't ever done anything to anyone. I don't know why it gets so mistreated."
Talley pulled herself up and immediately started working her hair over with the fingers on her left hand. "You saw that? How...? Why...?" She squinched her eyes together and shook her head back and forth as if trying to rearrange its content. "Scout, that isn't possible."
I pulled myself up into a sitting position, dread a heavy weight in my chest. "We specialize in the impossible around here." God, sometimes I wished I would wake up and realize this entire past year had been a dream. "So, you've seen the whole Scout gets stabbed in a far away field thing, too? That's got to be good news."
I leaned over to flip on my retro Mickey Mouse lamp and grab Guido, who had fallen onto the floor. If we were going to start delving into some crazy Shifter/Seer stuff which was most likely was going to end with me getting my guts ripped out again, I wanted to have both my sight and my sock monkey.
"Start from the beginning," Talley said. "Have you ever had this vision before?"
I started to say no, but then realized it was a lie. It had the mental flavor of something familiar. "Maybe. I've been having bad dreams all summer, but haven't been able to remember them when I wake up. I think maybe I've seen the people in the field and the blood before, but not the actual stabbing." Surely I would remember that part.
"Have you ever seen it while you were awake?"
"No," I said, dragging out the word. Was this some sort of Is Scout Crazy Test? If so, was I passing?
Talley wrapped a strand of hair around her finger, unwrapped it, and then wrapped it up again. "And when you heard my voice in your head, was there anything else?"
"I saw me falling to my knees, which was weird because I didn't actually make it to that part in the dream."
I could almost see a theory formulating in her head.
"Did you feel anything? Like emotions that were strange, not yours?"
"No. Just the panicky, unsettled feeling everyone has after a nightmare." Something about her question had me concentrating on the dream. There was something there... "I had a panic attack right before the dream started. I was having my normal A... awesomely lame dreams and then, boom! A panic attack hit me out of nowhere."
Twirl. Untwirl. Twirl. Untwirl.
"Can we try something?"
I hugged Guido a little tighter. "Sure."
Talley reached out her hand and laid it on my forearm. Then, she closed her eyes. At first there was nothing and then Steve from Blue's Clues popped into my head. Strange enough, but even stranger given he was wearing a Super-Girl cape and glittery tiara.
"What do you see?"
"Evidence that our favorite children's TV host didn't so much overdose as go a little bonkers."
Talley jerked her hand back, her eyes wide. And then she started to giggle. And it wasn't the happy, this is funny type of giggling, either. This was more of the prepare my padded room variety. By the time she quit, which was a substantial amount of time later, she had to wipe tears off her cheeks.
"What's going on?"
"I can project now." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I can project," she said weakly. "Scout, why can I project?"
"Because you're the most awesomely awesome Seer to have ever Seen?"
She snorted. "Any other brilliant theories?"
"Could it be because you have a mate now? Does that, like, strengthen your abilities or something?" That's what would have happened if this was one of those trashy paranormal books I like so much.
"Highly doubtful. For one, that's not a normal side effect of mating. And for another, I'm not mated."
"But you will be." I took a tentative step out onto the thin ice that was the whole Scout-as-til-death-do-we-part-matchmaker. "There is no way I can say 'I'm sorry' enough times."
Talley has always been the most generous of my friends, but at that moment she went beyond her normal level of amazing. "You have nothing to be sorry for. It's not anyone's fault."
"Tal, I've bound you to Jase. For life." He was my brother, and I loved him dearly, but the idea of living with him forever was not appealing. "You should be very, very angry with me."
"I'm not."
"Maybe you just don't know how to be mad at someone." Since I was a pro, I decided it was time to educate her. "First thing you need to do is think really nasty things about me. Tons of them, but be sure to remember the most scathing remarks so you can pass them on to others. And there needs to be glaring. Lots of glaring. And the occasional snide comment thrown my way, just so I don't get confused as to whether or not you're actually pissed."
"Scout, I'm perfectly capable of being angry when the situation warrants it. This one does not."
How could she not be mad? She should be livid. I mean, it would be one thing if she wanted to marry Jase, but...
Oh. My. God.
"Talley, are you in love with my brother?"
Her head came up so fast I worried she might have whiplash. "What?"
"Is that why you're not mad? Do you want to be mated to Jase?"
"Scout, did you purposefully mate me to your brother? Did you maliciously manipulate him into making an oath?"
"Of course not."
"That's why I'm not mad. You did nothing wrong. The whole thing is..." She took another deep breath. "It's not ideal. I mean, the childhood dream isn't going to come true for me. I don't get to meet some fantabulous guy who is going to look at me like I'm beautiful and thinks my jokes are funny. No awkward first dates and breath-taking first kisses. No two hour phone conversations over nothing just so we can hear each other's voice. But so what? I don't get to fall in love. Not everyone does. And, let's face it, I was already destined to be one of those people. At least this way I'll spend my life with someone I care about, someone who is a good person and won't ever do something to purposefully hurt me. A lot of people have it a lot worse."
"Tal---"
"It's Jase who got the raw end of the deal." She pulled up her knees and tucked in her arms, somehow achieving the fetal position while sitting up. "I mean, he's Jase. He would have ended up with someone beautiful and fabulous, but now he's stuck with me."
"That's not true," I said, but she didn't believe me. I know because I didn't really believe myself. It's not that I think Talley isn't beautiful and amazing and every single color in the rainbow of awesome, because I do. Honestly, I think she's way too good of a person to have me as a best friend. But she doesn't match the Jase girlfriend profile. She knew it, I knew it, and God knows Jase knew it.
"We're losing focus." She cleared her throat as she pulled herself out of the Talley ball. "I've developed a new super-power. That's the big deal here, remember?"
"How is you having a vision of me getting killed not the big deal?"
Talley's face tightened. "It's not a vision. It's a nightmare. Everyone has them."
Of course it was.
"Well then, maybe you're like Rogue," I said, allowing her to pretend she couldn't See the future and everything was peachy keen. "You suck the powers from other Seers."
"Good theory, but I haven't been around any Seers other than my mom, and I'm not whipping up a sparkly unitard anytime soon."
"Have you recently fallen into a vat of radioactive goo?"
"Well, I did make the mistake of opening the bottom drawer of the bathroom cabinet."
"I told you not to do that! Do you want to grow a third eye in the middle of your head?"
"That depends. Would I get a snazzy new power with said eye? Maybe the ability to See profitable stock investments or who will win the Kentucky Derby?" Eventually we quit speculating on the origins of Talley's new power and ran some more tests. As long as she was projecting strongly, I would catch a glimmer of whatever it was she was trying to communicate, but never anything as solid as what she got off us.
The next day we expanded our experiments to include Charlie and Angel. Charlie didn't get anything, and Angel didn't fair any better in our Let's Pretend to be Psychics game. Jase, of course, refused to be touched by Talley, despite the fact she was trying to put things in his head instead of taking them out.
With his aversion to touching Talley, I was surprised at how much time Jase started spending with her. They got so used to having to be seen as a couple in public they actually started to act like it at home. Talley would sit on the bed beside him, reading a book as he played video games. They watched a ridiculous amount of BBC together, laughing at jokes neither Charlie nor I realized were supposed to be funny. They even started fixing each other sandwiches without ever asking what the other wanted. It was weird. The two had always been friends - the four of us were pretty much a package deal outside of school - but there was a bond forming there. For a brief moment in time, I thought everything might actually work itself out.
Then, the full moon came.
I should have known something was coming. There was evidence all over the place, and my instincts were screaming out in warning, yet I ignored them in favor of my imaginary world where everything was okay and normal.
It started the day after my birthday. Luckily, the whole removal of Scout from the Hagan Pack didn't translate into the removal of Scout from the Hagan family, which meant I was now the owner of a spumoni cake and detailed family tree, thanks to Gramma Hagan, world's most devoted baker and ancestry buff. Angel and I were sitting around scarfing down the final pieces of the cake while watching Fish Hooks. My sister was convinced I needed to watch it to learn the finer points of friendship, a skill she found me lacking.
"There is someone in the woods," Angel announced as she angled her spoon towards my plate.
"Nice try, Munchkin, but no. Eat your chocolate and cherry layers and leave my pistachio alone."
Her lower lip jutted out. "But I don't have any."
"Because you ate it already." The kid was a menace. She had somehow finagled both Talley and Charlie out of their pistachio cake the night before. "Try the cherry. It's delicious." I took a big bite of mine and made the appropriate sounds for experiencing culinary excellence.
Angel's face lit up. "I'll trade you my cherry layer for your pistachio."
"No deal."
"But---"
"Eat it or I'll take it." It was getting near the full moon, so my appetite was similar to that of an Olympic swimmer combined with a sumo wrestler.
Angel dug in, pouting with every scrumptious bite. As she ate, her attention returned to the French doors leading to the back yard.
"There is still someone in the woods. Is it deer season?"
"No, and you can stop with the 'someone is in the woods' routine. I've already eaten my pistachio, so there is no more green cake for you to steal."
"But there is someone in the woods," she whined. "Look."
I followed her pointer finger out to the woods with my eyes. At first I didn't see anything, and was about to say as much, when a low bush rustled even though there was no wind to speak of.
"Do you see---?"
"Shhh..." I strained to hear something, but even with my super-ears I couldn't pick up anything from so far away. I got up to move closer to the door. As soon as I did, there was another rustle of bushes, and then what could have been movement in the dense trees.
"You see him, right?" I shot her a look. "You see him, right?" she repeated, this time in a whisper.
"I don't know," I said. "It was probably just a deer or raccoon."
Angel shook her head, eyes wide. "Nope. I saw an arm."
It's a testament to just how much I hate Fish Hooks that I decided we needed to investigate. It was another twenty minutes before we made it to the spot where Angel's man with an arm had been seen since I had to wait for her to put on her "undercover" outfit, which consisted of black leggings, a Team Ninja t-shirt, and her black snow boots.
"See, someone has been here." She held back a branch with one hand while the other perched on her hip. "The grass is all smoosheded down."
"Which is exactly what would have happened if a deer took a nap there." And that was the smell I was getting. Sorta. It was like a deer, but all chemically. And underneath the scent I thought I could detect another scent, but it was hard pick out from the other. Without thinking, I got down on my knees and pressed my nose to the grass.
"Scout, are you smelling the ground?"
"Ummm... Maybe?" My brain scrambled for an explanation a seven year old would believe. "I saw a guy on the National Geographic channel do this once. He said plants absorb the smells of soaps and laundry detergents."
The lie worked a little too well. Soon Angel was down on the ground beside me, swearing she could smell green soap and the laundry stuff with the scary bear on it. After a bit more forensic work, which included tasting a leaf she assured me was wild mint, Angel declared we were being stalked by Perez Hilton.
I ordered her back to the house and made a note to limit the amount of entertainment news she watched.
I didn't completely forget the whole someone-may-be-in-the-woods incident, but I didn't give it too much thought either. It was strange, but what wasn't these days? And even when I started getting that creepy someone-is-watching-me feeling me every time I went anywhere, I didn't start worrying. After all, I'm Scout Donovan. With my freakazoid looks and the drama from April, getting stared at in public is a day to day occurrence.
No, it didn't cross my mind to be concerned until I was halfway through the Change. One thing I hadn't noticed in my previous two Changes was how much my sense of smell improved as I shifted from Human Scout to Wolf Scout, possibly because I was too busy trying not to die. This time it was obvious. The smell came to me slowly, getting sharper and sharper the further I went in my transition.
Talley, we have a problem, I said as soon as I could form a coherent thought.
"The food is to your left, Scout. Just use your nose."
We have company.
There was a pregnant pause on the other end of the Shifter/Seer network. "Scout, he's not here..."
It's not the same smell as before. Although, I could have sworn that one was there too, but I was desperately trying to ignore it. Shifters. More than one. They've been through here recently, and I think they're still close by.
"Do you recognize anyone?"
No, they're... My wolf brain searched for the right word. Not family. Predators. Enemies. A breeze blew through the night, carrying the scent of the unwelcome Shifters. They were just west of me, the exact same direction...
Talley, do you have your gun? Charlie and Jase insisted we keep them on us any time we left the house. When I noted our lack of a concealed weapons license, Charlie produced one for each of us two days later. His eyes told me not to ask any questions, so I didn't. Instead, Talley and I started carrying Vash and Gilbert in our purses at all times. At least, I prayed it was at all times.
"It's in the car."
Get it. And stay in the car. Keep the gun out and shoot anyone or anything that gets close enough.
"Scout?"
Are the boys through Changing?
"Jase is close. Scout, what's wrong?"
I ducked through a clearing in the brush, never slowing my pace. As soon as they Change tell them to make their way back to you. Fast. There was no way I was letting them take her. Ever.
The bad thing about being an animal is you have no concept of time. The good thing is you can run fast and for long periods of time. By the time I made it to Talley she was locked in her car, her handgun sitting in her lap with one hand tapping on the handle.
Jase and Charlie?
"On their way," she said aloud since she'd opened the door the moment she saw me. "I can feel Jase getting close."
Sure enough, the first of the coyotes burst through the underbrush not much later. Once Charlie arrived we took turns going out to gather food. I managed to catch a raccoon and devoured most of it before Human Scout realized what was going on.
Jase happily took my leftovers.
After we all ate, and therefore had a bit more level head, we worked up a defense strategy. Talley was stationed at the old iron furnace. It was an ideal place for a Seer to be during a full moon - It was in the middle of nowhere, had a nice little road that led down to it, and even sported a placard explaining it's very long and boring history, which gave Talley an excuse to be there should park ranger happen by, providing the park ranger wandered by just after dark and not at three in the morning. As for a stronghold against another Pack of Shifters? We could have done better.
Remind me why we didn't find you one of the million places in Lake County where you would have a massive body of water on three sides? I asked as I prowled in front of where she sat on the hood of her car while Jase and Charlie ran a sweep around the perimeter.
"Water has tourists. No one ever comes out here."
Only because it's totally lame.
"I like it back here. It's peaceful and the trees---" She cut off, her head cocked to the side. When her eyebrows knitted together and hand tightened on the gun, I got nervous.
"Nervous" on a wolf looks a lot like "about to eat someone".
"I'm not going to tell you what he said until you stop growling." I turned it down a notch. "Jase confirms that we're dealing with wolves. He's got three, and Charlie thinks there is another to the north of us."
Movement?
"They seem to be circling, maybe three-quarters of a mile out."
Central location?
Talley pointed at the ground in front of her.
It was a tense night. Jase, Charlie, and I alternated guarding Talley and running the perimeter. No one made a sound, and we kept our Talley to Shifter communication to reporting on what we found. Never did the wolves get any closer. Never did they alternate their pattern. Then, just as I was starting to feel the siren's call of the sun, they left. Still, we all Changed within fifty feet of Talley's car, which she sat in with the doors locked, gun loaded, and cell phone with 9-1-1 at the ready.
We forewent our planned breakfast at The Farmhouse and even decided to ditch our stashed clothes as a precautionary measure. Thankfully, Talley always kept an outfit for each of us in her car since we didn't always Change back near our original location. We hit every fast food drive-through in Lake County, ordering enough food for ten people at each stop. As we stuffed our faces, we began comparing theories.
"Would it be too much to hope some Shifters were lost, picked up on another Pack, and got curious?" I asked, squirting some ketchup on a hashbrown patty.
Jase leaned over the seat to swipe a sausage and egg biscuit. "I'm sure that's what happened. Some wolves in Michigan got bored last night and hoofed it down to Kentucky in a matter of minutes."
I turned and snatched the breakfast sandwich back out of his hand just moments before he put it in his mouth. "That's for being rude," I said, taking a deliberately slow bite. "How am I supposed to know what Packs are where? I'm Always in the Dark Girl, remember? I've got a cape and everything."
"Packs live in territories where they can blend. Since there are no local natural wolves, there are no local Shifters who are wolves," Talley said. "The closest Pack of any sort, other than the Hagans, is the Beechers over near Mammoth Cave."
"Definitely coyotes. Definitely too small and timid to be sniffing around Hagan Territory," Charlie added.
"We're sure those were wolves, right?"
"Smelled like wolves to me." Charlie answered my question with a shrug. "But maybe not. Like Talley said, Shifters try not to stick out. Four wolves would eventually get noticed around here. Even if they're nomads, this really isn't a stopping point between two wolf friendly habitats."
"So, we're left with the most logical explanation, right? That they're here because of us?"
No one said anything.
"What does that mean then?" Their lack of assistance was annoying. "What wolves would come looking for us? Is the Matthews Pack tight with another Pack? Maybe distant relatives or something?"
The silence in the car stretched on for what felt like an eternity. Just when I was about to scream, Talley answered. "It's the Alpha Pack."
They were waiting for us at the house. The others seemed to have been expecting it, if the expressions on their faces were anything to go by, but I felt ambushed.
"What do we do?" I asked, eyeing the pair of matching luxury SUVs as if they were going to go all Decepticon on me.
Charlie snatched Talley's keys from her hand and jumped in front of me. "You leave. Now. Just get in the car and go. Don't stop until you have to." All the color was wiped from his face, his eyes a pair of glowing pieces of jade.
"What? No." I stepped closer to Talley. "I'm not leaving her at their mercy."
"It'll never work," Jase said, laying a hand on Charlie's arm. "It's the Alpha Pack." Charlie didn't move. "Come on, man. Whatever is going to happen is going to happen." The two did that deep stare thing guys do for several seconds, then Charlie nodded his head and stepped to the side.
We made our way up the driveway in silence, Talley and I clinging to one another's hands, sending "It'll be okay" vibes back and forth through our link. The men weren't sitting in their vehicles as I suspected, their scent obviously strong there because of the time they'd spent inside, so we continued on up to the house. As we got closer, I began to hear snippets of a conversation.
"And what does your brother and sister do on their hunting trips?" a man asked, his strong accent sounding eerily familiar.
"They sit in the woods and shoot things with guns," came Angel's reply. "Don't people go hunting wherever it is you're from?"
I dropped Talley's hand and took off at a jog. No way was that creeper harassing my baby sister. The front door was unlocked, and I sped through it. "Get away from her," I said to Stefan, who was crouched down in front of Angel in the living room. My father stood with one hand on her shoulder, his eyes boring into the other man.
"Harper, how lovely to see you again." The way he said it, with that accent rolling around with sincerity, was almost calming. Almost, but not quite. Instead, it reminded me of Alan Rickman playing Professor Snape, and not in a he's-really-a-misunderstood-good-guy kind of way.
"Get away from my sister," I repeated through my teeth. I was exhausted from the night's activities, but I still wanted to go over and forcefully move him away from Angel. The fact that he was close enough to touch her made my stomach roll. Unfortunately, he wasn't alone. Three other men stood in front of our couch, legs shoulder width apart and arms crossed in front of their chests. It looked as though they'd mistaken a piece of furniture for the President of the United States.
Stefan stood up gracefully, brushing the wrinkles out of his designer suit as he went. "I was merely talking with the child, Harper. There is really no need for such dramatics."
"My. Name. Is. Scout."
"Nicknames are for children." My math teacher had said the same thing a year ago, and it embarrassed me then. Now? Now it just pissed me off.
My dad wasn't impressed much either. "You will talk to my daughter with respect, or you will leave," he said, his hand pulling Angel slightly closer to him. I knew if I was close enough, he would have reached out and brought me in for protection, too.
"My apologies, Mr. Donovan." He tilted his head in my direction. "I'm sorry for any offense, Scout."
"How is Liam?" I asked, not accepting anything he was offering. "Was he sad to pulled away from the warm Florida beaches?"
Rasputin's face remained calm and composed, but his eyes flashed with anger. "Unfortunately, we have yet to find your Mr. Cole."
Big surprise. Liam hates warm weather, which is why I pointed Stefan towards Florida in the first place. I hoped that wherever Alex's brother was, he was far away from Stefan and the rest of the Alpha pack.
"Is that why you're here, Mr. Vasile? Because, honestly, I'm out of ideas. Liam and I weren't exactly tight or anything. So if that's all you need, can we be done here? We've been out camping all night, and I'm really needing to crash."
Stefan's mouth curled up on the side that wasn't marred. "The orphan's location has been set aside for the moment. There are now more pressing matters requiring our attention."
"Mr. Vasile says that you guys have gotten into some sort of trouble," Dad said. "Do you know what he's talking about?"
I opened my mouth, ready to throw out some sort of snarky reply, but Jase answered before I could come up with anything.
"Talley's situation has been resolved," he said, stepping forward. "She left to be with me. Our mating ceremony is to take place in the spring."
Dad's head jerked up in surprise, and Angel, who had been miraculously quiet up until this point, scrunched up her face. "What's a mating ceremony?"
Stefan smiled and it was an altogether disturbing sight. "Why, didn't you know your brother was going to get married?"
He was going for the weakest link in order to find out the whole mating thing was a sham. The moment Angel opened her mouth, we were done for.
"Why didn't you just say wedding?" She asked, as if the whole Talley and Jase getting married thing was a given. "Is mating what you call it in your country? What country are you from, anyway? You kind of sound like that guy with the pointy hat and mustache from those old Moose and Squirrel cartoons they play on Boomerang. You know, Boring and Natasha."
"You know," Stefan said, clearly growing tired of pretending to be enamored by the smallest Donovan, "in Russia, my native land, children are taught to respect their elders."
"Oh, that's not just in Russia," Angel assured him. "We do that here in America, too."
Stefan did that whole one sided mouth curl thing again. "Clearly." The word was meant as a dismissal for Angel, as he then turned his attentions to Jase. "There have been some questions raised as to the sincerity of your claim. I am afraid the accusation requires an audience with her highness."
Talley's eyes went wide and Charlie swallowed hard enough even the non-Shifters in the room could hear it, but Jase merely dipped his head. "It would be an honor, Polemarch."
Polemarch? What the Hades was that?
Whatever it was, Stefan looked pleased the title was given. "Your presence will be required fifteen days from this night. Your mate, however, must accompany me today. As is our custom, she will remain under the eye of the Strategos until her fate is determined."
"No." I didn't know what a Stratego was any more than I knew what a Polemarch was, but I knew Talley wasn't going there. "She stays with me."
"Indeed she does," Stefan said, steepling his hands in front of him to complete the evil doer image. "You will also be awaiting an audience with the queen."
If Charlie's muttered curse was anything to go by, this was not a good thing.
"And why would your queen wish to see me?"
Stefan's eyes skirted over my father and sister in the long pause that followed. "Charges have been made," he finally said. "Grave charges for which you will stand trial. The date has been scheduled for the same night as the queen will hear Hoplite Donovan's declaration."
"Sorry, but I'm going to need some clarification. By 'Hoplite' you mean Jase, right?"
"Yes."
"And you're some sort of Polemarch thing?"
"Polemarch is my more formal title."
"And those guys...?" I pointed at the unflappable couch protectors.
"The Stratego." Stefan's patience was waning. "The term comes from the ancient Greek. Stratego are the most elite of soldiers."
"And I need to stay under their elite sight until this trial?"
"Indeed."
I looked at Stefan's soldiers, who hadn't so much as blinked an eye during our conversation. On the surface, there were very few similarities in the three. The one on the right was middle aged, like Stefan. He was African American and stood close to seven feet tall. The muscles popping off his upper arms were the size of grapefruits. If I met him on the street I would think he was a retired professional basketball player.
The guy on the other end was younger, maybe early twenties, and equally impressive, but looked more NFL than NBA. His dishwater blond hair hung down to his very square jaw. He wasn't quite as tall or old as our Michael Jordan doppelganger, but he was just as imposing with his wide shoulders and steel blue eyes.
The man standing between the two was the smallest by a long shot, but not the least dangerous. He was maybe my height, and probably didn't weight too much more, but he was wiry. His skin was a dusty color and his dark eyes slanted ever so slightly at the corners. He was standing in the exact same Secret Service pose as the others, but with him you got the impression of a coiled snake ready to strike.
Despite their obvious differences, one thing was certain about the three of them as a whole - They were not leaving without taking Talley and me with them. It was in the set of their jaw, the flatness of their stare.
"Where will we be going?" Alex once told me the headquarters for the Alpha Pack was in Romania. While I've always longed to see Europe, this wasn't exactly the trip I envisioned.
"You're not going anywhere." My father's face sported a decidedly red tint. "I think it's time you leave," he said to Stefan. "I don't know who you are, or what authority you think you have here, but you're going to leave right now and never so much as look at my kids again or I'm going to have a Restraining Order placed on you. Understand?"
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Charlie's stance shift ever so slightly, placing him in a better position to fight. I followed his cue.
"Mr. Donovan, I'm sure you've been informed of your son's status. It is our custom to inform the parents, and as an adopted child myself, I draw no distinction between the parents who created you and those who raise you."
"I know who and what my children are."
"Then you understand there are issues pertaining to your children outside your government's realm." Stefan picked a piece of imaginary lint off his suit jacket. "When it comes to those issues, I am the government. The laws of our kind are mine to enforce, and I will do all in my power to ensure they are followed to the letter." He reached out and ran a single finger down one of Angel's curls. Talley grabbed my wrist to keep me in place. "Such a beautiful child. It would be a tragedy if something was to happen to her. Yet, accidents do happen when the rules are not followed properly."
Dad's face transitioned from red to purple. "Listen here, you son of a---"
"I'll go." My heart was slamming up against my rib cage and there was an odd buzzing in my ears. "Willingly. You promise that nothing happens to my sister, and I'm yours."
"I'll be damned if---"
"No, Dad. I'm going, and you're going to let me." I looked at Angel, whose eyes were overflowing with fear and confusion. "This is all a misunderstanding. I'll be back in two weeks. No big."
Except, it was a big. A huge. A behemoth. A freaking leviathan. I could feel it in the air that swirled around Stefan and his men. I was as good as severely punished.
Even Angel could feel it.
The munchkin wrenched herself out of Dad's hold and wrapped her little arms around my thighs. "Don't go," she begged. "Please don't go."
I knelt down to hug her properly. It put me at a major disadvantage should things go south and I needed to fight, but I didn't think that was happening. I hadn't lied. I was going to go with them willingly, and Talley wasn't the type to resist. Jase and Charlie might try to step in, but they were sworn to obey their Pack Leader, and I was going to order them to stand down.
I cheated Death in May. Now it was time to pay up.
"I have to go," I said, trying to memorize the smell and feel of her. "It'll be okay. You'll take care of the house and Mom and Dad and Jase for me while I'm gone, right?"
I felt a splash of tears hit my collar bone. "You promised, Scout. You pinkie promised."
"What did I promise, Munchkin?"
"You won't leave me forever. You promised."
I blinked against the sting in my eyes. "I'm just going away for a little while. It'll be okay." God, I wanted it to be okay.
I held her until she stopped crying. I'm sure Stefan and the three stooges really enjoyed watching our little goodbye, but I wasn't concerned about what was convenient for them. Once the sniffles subsided I stood up and faced my father.
"I forbid you to go."
"Dad, I'm adult. You can't forbid me from leaving."
His lips tightened to the point it appeared he had none. "You might be eighteen, but I'm still your father."
"Which is why I'm stubborn enough to do this no matter what." I stepped into his embrace and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Don't let Angel play outside or go anywhere by herself until this is over," I whispered in his ear. "You take care of her, and I'll take care of me. Deal?"
"I don't like this," he muttered.
"That's because it sucks." He gave me a Dad look. "I said stinks. You don't like it because it stinks."
I turned to say my last goodbye. "Charlie, I'm putting Jase in charge while I'm gone. I want you---"
"I'm going too," Jase said, meeting my eyes with fierce determination.
"What? No, you're staying---"
"I'm going."
"Sorry to interrupt what I'm certain will be a most intelligent verbal exchange," said Stefan, "but you are not to join us until the new moon."
Jase bowed his head. "With all due respect, Polemarch, I call on my right to stay with my mate."
Stefan looked like he wanted to smack Jase, but instead he said, "Of course. You may stay with your Seer."
"And I'm going with Scout," Charlie added.
Stefan's eyebrows shot up just as my jaw dropped down. "I'm sorry," Stefan said. "I did not realize you made a declaration."
"Not as her mate," Charlie said, stepping forward and bowing his head, just as Jase had. "I owe her a life debt and will remain with her until it is paid as honor requires."
I glanced over at my father, surprised to find him looking relieved the boys were coming along for the ride. Stefan? Not so much. Actually, he looked like he was regretting being placed on teenager arrest duty.
The four of us were allowed to pack an overnight bag to take with us, although each of us was assigned an overseer to ensure we didn't pack anything unnecessary, like our guns. Snake Man and All American Joe headed off with the boys, while NBA stuck close to Talley. I was honored with Stefan's watchful eye.
After another round of goodbyes to Dad and Angel, and a brief phone call to Mom, we were herded outside to the SUVs. Charlie and I were escorted to one, and Jase and Talley were herded to the other.
"Isn't this the preferred mode of transportation for rap stars and drug dealers?" I asked Charlie as I stowed my bag in the back. "What does Stefan do when he's not marching poles or whatever?"
"Being the Alpha Male is pretty much a full time job," he said, shooting me a look.
Stefan was the Alpha Male? Awesome. Why couldn't someone have mentioned that to me earlier? Was the pretentious ancient language really necessary?
"So, how is it he can drop so much cash on two sets of wheels?"
"The Alpha Pack's finances are covered by a tithe collected from all Packs."
"Like Shifter taxes?"
Charlie nodded as we crawled into the backseat.
"What is it I'm being accused of?" I asked Stefan as NBA started the vehicle. "It's not tax evasion, is it?"
Stefan turned in his seat so he could see me. "I'm surprised it took you so long to ask."
"It's Shifter business. It didn't seem wise to discuss it in front of an audience." Plus, the less my dad and sister knew, the safer they would be.
"The official charge is Thaumaturgy."
I waited for someone to explain what that was, but no one volunteered.
"Thaumaturgy?"
"That's a pretty serious charge," Charlie answered from the other side of the backseat, which was approximately three miles away. "Did the accuser offer any evidence to support the claim?"
This time when Stefan smiled he did nothing to disguise the malevolence. "I believe she provided ample evidence of witchcraft last night, don't you?"
Charlie's only response was a bulging of the muscles in his jaws.
"Witchcraft?" Although, that did clear up any doubt as to who turned us over to the Alphas. Mr. Matthews all but called me Goody Osborne and doused me with Holy Water during his little visit. "You're taking me away from my family and putting me on trial for being a fictional entity?"
"The greatest trick the devil ever played was convincing the world he did not exist," said a rich baritone voice, thick with a British-type accent, from the front seat. So, not so much African American as African.
"Many Shifters and Seers believe in the existence of Thaumaturgics and Immortals," Charlie informed me quietly. I think the idea was for the comment to be a private one, but there was really no point. We all had super-hearing. If Jase and Talley had been talking in the other car I would've heard it.
"Thaumaturgics being witches?"
"Yes."
"And Immortals being... vampires?"
"What is it with girls and vampires?" Charlie asked, trying to smile.
"They're pretty and they sparkle in the sun, just like unicorns."
Charlie rolled his eyes. "No, Immortals aren't vampires. They can hang in the sun without becoming a disco ball, there are no garlic allergies, and blood isn't part of their daily menu. They simply don't die."
"Ever?"
He shrugged. "I don't really know. Our family doesn't believe in that stuff. To us, they're more like legends and bedtime stories than an actual people walking around."
"What about you, Mr. Vasile? Do you believe in witches?"
Instead of turning around, Stefan peered at me through the rearview mirror. "My belief is that you should take advantage of what I believe is called the right to be silent in your country. Feigning ignorance to gain information will not be looked upon as favorable by our queen."
I didn't like Stefan. I had absolutely no desire to impress or please him. I knew that my situation was fairly dire, and I didn't even understand what it was I had done wrong. I wanted to press on, ask questions until I had a firm grasp of what was happening, but eighteen years of being a good girl who does what she's told doesn't get undone in a single moment, or even a single summer. So, I shut my mouth and stayed silent for the remainder of the trip.
I didn't, however, put away my phone.
They think I'm a witch, I texted to Talley.
You're not, she hit back.
Of course I'm not!
It will b hard 2 prove.
Y? That wand in my room came from Harry Potter World in Orli. Is so not real. Also, I do NOT weigh the same as a duck.
THIS IS SERIOUS!
I know that.
Then stop being so flippant.
I'm always flippant. This is Scout, remember?
I'm scared.
Well, crap. There went any amount of calm I had managed to achieve.
Me 2. I followed up that oh-so-not-shocking announcement with, How is Jase?
Freaked. Charlie?
I looked across the vast expanse of the back seat and saw not the boy who I'd been working on getting to know again over the last few weeks, but the one from the beginning of the summer.
Not good.
Where do u think we're going?
Alcatraz?
Scout...
Sorry. Coping mechanism.
Just as I was hitting send, the SUV lurched to the left. I glanced out the window and realized we'd somehow made it to the Serenity Shores Cottages. There are tons of rental properties in Lake County to accommodate the summer tourists. Most of them run the gambit of rustic to modern, the cabin equivalent of roach motel to Holiday Inn, but Serenity Shores catered to a much more affluent market. According to Meg Jamison, who worked in the office over the summers, the cheapest cabin rented out for over $2,500 a week.
The cabin we parked in front of was not of the $2,500 a week variety.
The majority of Lake County is lower middle class. My parents hardly bring in big bucks as a school superintendent and nurse, but we are still better off financially than most of our neighbors. Our house, a medium sized two story neocolonial, is one of the biggest on our side of town. The cabin was at least three times that size. Could you even call something a cabin when it had three floors and a four car garage?
NBA stopped just in front of the Rocky-like steps leading up to the front door. He quickly came around the vehicle and opened the door for Stefan, who in turn opened the door for me.
"I have handcuffs," he informed me in the same bland tone you might tell someone you have a stick of gum. "I would really rather not use them, they just seem crass, but I will if you don't feel as though you can control yourself."
The idea of having my hands bound behind me in the present company was one of the most terrifying thoughts I ever had.
"I won't give you any trouble," I said, knowing with morbid clarity there was no way I was capable.
The inside of the cabin was just as opulent as the outside. The shiny wooden floors were new enough the smell of oak could be detected under the assault of Lemon Pine Sol. Over them stretched the kind of old lady rugs one normally associated with museums. The framed artwork on the wall, which was also made of tree carcasses, looked like actual art instead of the typical Ken Holland prints found tacked up on every available surface in Lake County. The chandelier hanging above our heads was the only thing assuring me we were still in my corner of the universe. Where else besides Western Kentucky would a four foot wide chandelier made entirely of deer antlers count as classy?
The Shifter who opened the door stayed bowed over as we all entered, although I'm not certain if it was because of some sort of lower station thing or because his decrepit old back couldn't fully straighten.
"Sir," he breathed as Stefan entered, dipping even lower.
Stefan shrugged off his suit jacket and draped it over the elderly gentleman's arm, revealing the worst case of sweaty pits I'd ever seen. "We have two additional guests, Akay. Can you have a room prepared for them?"
"Of course, sire. Would you prefer them on the upper levels or with the Thaumaturgic?"
"One of the empty rooms on the third floor." He gave both Jase and Charlie a once over. "And make certain it's not a room adjacent to one of the girls."
Another man who looked like a younger version of Akay came into the room and the servant spoke to him in a multitude of vowels and hard consonants. Once Akay was done issuing out orders in his native tongue, the younger man bounded up the stairs.
During the whole exchange Jase, Charlie, Talley, and I stood clumped together in front of the door. There was a comfort in knowing I wasn't alone, and having their bodies near soothed me. If I hadn't thought it would make me look like a complete pansy, I would have grabbed the two hands closest to me and clung on for dear life. I didn't want to be here, and I was so scared I probably would have a full on coronary if one of the muscled men turned around and said, "Boo!"
"Shall I inform the queen of your arrival?" NBA asked.
"Please, Mandla." Stefan turned to the servant as the African guard also headed up the stairs. "Akay, show the Seer and coyotes around." Akay moved his torso impossibly closer to the floor. "Hashim and Travis, you many lead the Thaumaturgic to her quarters."
Something about the way they kept referring to me as "the Thaumaturgic" made me doubt my chances at a fair trial.
"We're on it, boss," the blond said with a Texas drawl. "You want us to stay and keep her company?"
Stefan nodded. "For a moment. We will begin rotations after I meet with the Taxiarhos."
Both Travis and Hashim, the human serpent, bowed, though if it was a sign of actual respect or just an attempt to stay on the punishing side of the Shifter politics, I couldn't say.
I expected to be led away with the same stoic severity the two had exhibited for the last hour or so of our acquaintance, or perhaps even frog-marched away, but instead Travis came up and offered me an arm. "Shall we, ma'am?"
Unable to say anything due to terror induced muteness, I nodded and slipped a hand into the crook of his elbow. The sensation of his warm and surprisingly soft skin against my palm made my heart skip a beat, and not out of fear. I looked up into his chiseled face and felt my face heat.
"Where are you taking her?" Charlie demanded, sounding much braver than I could have mustered.
"We have prepared special accommodations for the Thaumaturgic," Stefan said. "We must guarantee everyone's safety, including her own, until the trial."
Charlie stepped forward, looking ready to take on Travis despite the fact he maybe came up to his nose. "I'm going with her."
"Sorry, but I'm afraid the Thaumaturgic must be kept separated until the new moon. Perhaps, however, you can convince the queen to allow short visits during your stay so you may ensure her health and safety as is your duty."
Charlie didn't immediately stand down, which made me happy on some deeply selfish level, but I couldn't allow anything to happen to him just because I was afraid to be alone. He caught my eye, and I shook my head, forcing my face to remain calm and authoritative. There was another beat before he inclined his head in a move similar to the reverence the others showed Stefan.
"I'll come check on you as soon as I can," he said.
"Take care of each other, okay?" I said to the three of them, unable to address Charlie individually. I couldn't cry in front of the others. It was like when I walked into the middle of the Hagan Pack after my first Change - I couldn't let them see my fear. Or my heartache. This was the Shifter world I was dealing with. Strength was everything.
Fortunately, no one expected Seers to be tough, because Talley was a virtual waterworks as Travis whisked me away with Hashim following at a distance most people would have found socially unacceptable. Every step away from my Pack felt like something vital was being ripped away from me. The stress must have shown, because Travis reached over and patted the hand gripping onto his elbow.
"Don't worry." His tone was somewhere between gentle and condescending. "We'll treat you right."
"Said the Big Bad Wolf," I muttered before my brain could inform my mouth that might not be the smartest move. Travis only laughed.
"Does that make you one of the Three Little Pigs?"
I frowned. "I was thinking more like Little Red Riding Hood."
Another laugh. "Except in this version Grandma is Maleficent, and instead of the Woodsman coming to the rescue, Red turns into a giant white wolf?"
"I'm not a witch."
"Sorry, Miss Donovan, but this is the Alpha Pack, not CSI: Boondocks. Here you're guilty until proven innocent." When he looked at me, I thought I detected regret in his overly handsome face. "And no one is ever proven innocent."
\*\*\*
I'm not exactly sure what I expected my jail cell to look like, but an actual jail cell never crossed my mind. I mean, who puts steel bars in the basement of a deluxe cabin on the Kentucky Lake?
Yet, that is exactly what I found at the bottom of the back staircase. The cell was located in the corner opposite the washer and dryer. It was larger than the cells I've seen on TV, something close to a fifteen by fifteen foot square. The decor was very uninhabited dorm room. A twin bed with cheap white sheets was pushed against one wall with a beaten up dresser at the foot. And that was the entire extent of my furniture.
A crappy bed with crappy sheets I could handle. However, what gave me a serious case of do not make me go in there was the bathroom, or what was to be counted as a bathroom. On the far wall was a toilet, which had been relieved of its seat. A cheap shower head stuck out of the wall. The area was surrounded by a track from which hung a thin white shower curtain.
Then there were the shackles hanging off the walls.
Someone needed to explain the definition of "serenity" to the owners of Serenity Shores.
"Cozy," I said as Travis keyed a code into the door.
"Just in case you get any strokes of genius, you need to know these here are some of the strongest steel bars you can get, and they are hiding beneath the concrete walls, too." The Texan pointed to a box on the wall nearest the door leading out of the basement. "Once I have you in here, I'm going to flip that switch, which will run enough juice through them to make that stick straight hair of yours look like Justin Timberlake's white boy fro."
"The window?" I asked, nodding to the tiny opening a good six inches over my head.
"Double-plated bullet-proof glass. Also, it's armed with two different security systems, just like all the doors. Both systems run off a generator should we lose power."
"Not to mention a house full of Dominants, right?"
Travis's teeth gleamed under the fluorescent lights. "Right, cupcake." He leaned over to where his nose was hovering scant centimeters away from where my neck and shoulder met and then breathed in deeply. "Damn shame you're Thaumaturgic," he said, his breath tickling my collar bone. "I would have really enjoyed getting to know you."
This time it wasn't just my face that flushed, it was my whole body.
"I'm not a witch." Was that really my voice coming out all low and breathy? "I'm a Shifter."
He didn't move, which was incredibly rude, completely terrifying, and more than a little thrilling at the same time. "You certainly smell like a Shifter." He sniffed in again, the hum of noise from the back of his throat causing goosebumps to pop up all over my skin.
I've replayed that scene at least a million times in my head since then, and I'm still not sure what would have happened next if Hashim hadn't interrupted. The most likely scenario involved me pushing him away and telling him to keep his evil nose to himself, and emphasizing the point with my fist.
At least, that's what I keep telling myself.
"Go," Hashim hissed as Travis jolted away from me. When I didn't immediately obey, Hashim pointed at me and then the cage. "You. Go."
Knowing there was no use in delaying the inevitable, and eager to get away from the weirdness of what just happened with Travis, I went inside. I heard the door slide home and then the hum of electricity. The whole time I just stood there, looking at my prison and trying not to panic. Claustrophobia has never really been an issue for me, but, then again, I was never locked in a cage for weeks at a time before. I didn't cry, though. I kept my spine straight and shoulders back. The wolf, who still prowled close to the skin with the full moon only being hours behind us, refused to submit in any way to the two men who were now standing just outside the basement door.
Eventually, I felt ridiculous just standing there, staring resolutely at the grey concrete wall. I took my time exploring my surroundings, knowing I had all the time in the world. The bed was small, but the mattress was comfortable. Not too firm, not too soft, and free of lumps or sprung springs. The dresser was filled with dings and stains, but had the regality of a once noble piece of high end bedroom furniture. The odds and ends making up the bathroom were surprisingly clean, the scent of bleach overriding any hint of mold, mildew, or anything even less appetizing.
Once the inspection was over I lay down on the bed and waited.
It took me five minutes to realize I was hearing voices, and another two to realize they weren't in my head.
"We are honored to have you with us," said a female voice with a heavy English accent.
"No, I'm the one honored, my Alpha," came the reply from a familiar voice. "I am only sorry that the situation wasn't a little different."
"Yes, this whole thing is rather... unfortunate. But you have nothing to fear. I can See your nobility and honor. I know you would never intentionally defy your Alphas."
"No, ma'am. I really wouldn't." In my head I could see Talley twirling a strand of shiny black hair around her finger. She was on the floor just above me, I could tell both from the way her voice floated down through the air vent and her smell. The room must have been some sort of living room or family room since the drone of a television set is what kept me from noticing anyone in the room before then. One of the first survival skills I acquired after Changing was learning to tune out background noises. If I hadn't, I would have been driven insane by the constant stream of marginally talented Disney singers coming from Angel's bedroom a long time ago.
I closed my eyes and tried to visualize my best friend standing just above me. Was she scared? Were they treating her right? And where were the boys? They should be there with her, protecting her.
"I was wondering, your highness, if it was possible for me to see my friend." The tremble in her voice was evident even through the floor/ceiling.
There was a long pause, and then the Alpha Female said, "I do not think that would be a good idea. The Thaumaturgic has too much sway over you, I fear. Not that I blame you, my sister. Not in the least. Anyone in your position would have been caught unaware by her deceit."
"But, your majesty, I honestly don't believe she is---" There must have been some hand motion or look, because Talley cut off instantly. There was a scrapping noise, like a chair being pushed back and then soft footfalls.
"You know it cannot be natural for a woman not of Shifter blood to make the Change." The Alpha had moved in closer to where Talley was.
"I know, but---"
"Our enemies have long been looking for a way to infiltrate our ranks. And they almost did it. She's the perfect Trojan Horse, is she not? A lone female wolf when we lose almost all of the young born to us. As Seers, we want to protect her since we have been unable to save the others. And the males. The entire species is drawn to her, looking for a mate of their own kind. The Strategos tell me her scent is absolutely intoxicating, nearly impossible to resist. No wonder Hoplite Hagan looks at her with such admiration. The poor boy is a victim of biology."
"I don't think---"
"And the way they placed her with your Pack when she was so young, letting the child become like a part of your family. It was smart, strategically speaking, but so cruel to your family."
"But Scout didn't---"
"That, of course, is the reason the Hagan Pack isn't facing charges of their own," she said, her voice infused with a touch more strength. "I did not think it was fair to punish the entire Pack for something that was obviously committed against them. Don't you feel the same, Seer Matthews?"
Blackmail. Awesome.
"You're very kind and wise, my Alpha." Talley sounded choked, and I knew it was because she felt guilty for not defending me. She shouldn't have. I understood, and would have been angry if she had said anything else. There was no need in all of us going down with the ship.
After that there was some more conversation, but mostly of the "So, how are you liking Kentucky?" variety as opposed to manipulation by The Man. A few minutes later there was an influx of feet moving about, and then a television flicked on and my ears flicked off.
The rest of the day passed without much in the way of excitement. Hashim brought me lunch and dinner, both of which were pretty good for prison food. The television stayed on upstairs, blocking out any conversations. Since I had nothing better to do, I fretted over the whole intoxicating scent issue. Neither Jase nor Charlie had mentioned that I smelled especially sexy, but the theory did explain a few things, like that moment with Travis and Makya in general.
On second thought, nothing really explained Makya.
But what if she was right? What if I was throwing out a come and get me boys scent? Did it develop with my first Change, or had it always been there? The first time I met Liam he smelled me and asked Jase what I was. Could it have been because I already smelled like a female Shifter? And if I did, what did that mean in terms of Alex and Charlie? Did they really want me, or were they simply acting on animal instinct?
After many miserable moments, I decided that train of thought was both unhealthy and unproductive. To distract myself, I attempted to figure out how many people where in the house. Since I was locked in a concrete basement and the cabin was the size of the White House, it wasn't an easy assignment.
My Pack was the easiest to pick out. Talley and Jase spent most of the day on the third floor with each other. Charlie, on the other hand, seemed to be stationed near the top of the basement stairs. I tried to remember what could be holding his interest for so long up there, but couldn't come up with anything. As best as I could recall, the stairs were located in a super-huge pantry which came off the kitchen. Unless he was put on dishwashing duty, I couldn't think of a single reason for him to spend the day up there.
Stefan and his three henchmen were almost as easy to pick out as Jase, Charlie, and Talley. Not only was I already familiar with their scents, but I could feel them somehow. It was like they were so Dominant they leaked power, and that power was an actual tangible thing floating through the air. Even without the aide of my super-powered hearing and smell, I could point out any member of the elite guard at any given time.
After that, it got harder. There were other males in the house, I could hear their heavy footfalls and smell their boy smell, but keeping up with the exact number was hard. People were constantly moving, and the stupid TV blasted CNN Headline News at full volume all blessed day. I knew there were at least three other guys on a level below the Strategos on the power structure, not including Akay. There were possibly others, but no more than six.
The females in the house were actually a bit easier to peg, thanks to the very profitable body wash, shampoo, and lotion market. Not counting Talley or the Alpha Female, I caught four other distinctive scents. There could have been more, but I didn't detect them.
That left me in a house with, what? At least a dozen probable enemies? If any delusions remained about breaking out of this place, that promptly shattered them. I had better odds at winning the Miss USA crown, landing the lead role in a Wonder Woman movie, and hitting the lottery all in the same night.
Still, I listened and smelled and brain stormed. It was either that, or stare at the blank walls and go crazy. By the time I drifted off to sleep after all the motion upstairs stilled for the evening, I had a pretty good layout of the house and was starting to recognize different unknowns by their scent and the sound of their footfalls.
The next morning my breakfast was brought in by Mandla, the NBA guy. Along with the heaping plate of eggs, sausage, and toast, he sat a stack of books down on the end of my mattress.
"The one who owes you a life debt insisted you have these," he said in that smooth voice. "He claimed it was cruel and unusual to leave you without something to stimulate your brain."
I glanced at the stack, which was comprised mostly of Nora Roberts and James Patterson paperbacks. Not a whole heck of a lot of brain stimulation going on there, but still... "Thank you. I was going kind of crazy with nothing to do."
"Thank not me, but the Alpha's generosity. She is giving you much comfort considering what you are." I made a split-second decision not to waste my breath on restating my innocence and slammed my lips back together. "She will be coming to see you shortly," he continued on. "I suggest you show her the respect and reverence she deserves, Thaumaturgic." With that, he turned and strode back to the door, leaving me alone with the high calorie breakfast I wasn't going to be able to eat thanks to the awe-inspiring things that bit of knowledge did to my belly.
It's not like I expected any sort of physical altercation with Stefan's mate. No, if anyone other than the Alpha Male himself was going to leave me bruised and battered around here, it was one of his Three Amigos. The threat from a Seer wouldn't be physical. Instead of upper-cuts and side-kicks, you had to worry about what she was going to pull out of your brain. Could she See what was knocking around up there, like Talley? Or maybe it was what your weaknesses are or how to break you from the inside out. No one ever bothered to cover the complete scope of Seer powers with me, but I was under the impression they were so various and many you couldn't really keep up with them all.
Since the basement lacked a clock and someone confiscated my phone just an hour after I arrived, I had no way to know for sure exactly how long it was before someone else came downstairs. Judging by the fact I made it through twenty-four chapters of a James Patterson novel, I estimated it at around thirty minutes after I gave up on breakfast.
Three women came through the door along with Mandla, Hashim, and Travis. Mandla and Hashim took up post just in front of the door of the cell while Travis lounged against the basement door.
"You are to stay at least two feet away from the bars," Mandla informed me.
I took an exaggerated step backwards.
The three girls, all of which looked to be in the high school to college age range, stood clustered together in the middle of the non-caged half of the basement looking at me with the same fearful curiosity you would a lion in a zoo.
"So, are you a good witch or a bad witch?" The one brave enough to speak was a black girl with some very awesomely done purple extensions. And while I'm no expert in dialect and accents, I would put good money on her being from Brooklyn.
I threw a hand over my heart and did my best Judy Garland. "Me? Why, I'm not a witch at all. I'm Scout Donovan of Kentucky."
"And your little dog?"
I couldn't help but smile. "Oh, I guess I'm that, too. Although, truth be told, I'm not all that little."
There was a moment of complete and utter silence and then Brooklyn burst out laughing. "I like her. I vote we not kill her."
"True!" exclaimed the girl with hair the color pumpkin juice and more freckles than I knew was possible. "Don't be so horrible."
"I'm not being horrible. I'm saying I want to keep her alive. That's the exact opposite of horrible. It's nice and thoughtful. Right, Sabrina?"
"I'm feeling the love, Pythia."
"See, funny and smart. She could totally hang with us."
"She's not one of us," the older girl, a blonde Amazonian, said. Her accent was similar to Stefan's but not exactly. I decided she was either from a different part of Russian or one of those countries that used to be back in the USSR when John, Paul, George, and Ringo were doing their thing together. "She Changes during the full moon without the aide of lineage, upsetting the balance and natural order of things. It would be a good idea for the two of you to remember that."
True stuck out her tongue, which meant I got to see the bar she had running through it. The Russian responded with a lift of the middle finger without even looking over her shoulder in True's direction.
"Let me guess, she can See whatever is going on in a room, even if she's blindfolded."
"No, True is just predictable." The blonde threw a thick braid back over her shoulder. "I See potential, if you must know."
"Potential?"
"It's a very important gift," said Freckles. She was definitely the youngest, and her accent was American of some sort, but I had no idea as to the particulars. I just knew she wasn't from New York, Boston, or anywhere south of Kentucky. "She can hold a baby in her arms and tell you if you should encourage her to explore music because she could become a great pianist, or warn you to be cautious because she has the tendencies of a serial killer."
"Does it only work on babies?"
"Of course not." Another toss of the braid, which seemed to have trouble staying put. "All I have to do is touch any living thing and I can See where its greatest potential lies."
"So it would work on me?"
Mandla, who had been statue-like up to this point, snapped his head around. "I do not think that would be wise."
I had asked in a theoretical sense, but now that Mandla was against the idea, I was all about it.
"It'll be fun. I want to know where my greatest potential lies. Maybe I'm supposed to be one of those hairdressers who enter crazy hair shows. I'll never know if she doesn't tell me."
Mandla didn't even think before he said, "No."
"Awww... c'mon," True whined. "Let her do it. What is the Thaumaturgic going to do? Bite off her fingers?"
"Well, fingers are tasty."
Mandla cut me a climbin-a-handbasket-and-take-a-trip-down-South look. The flames shooting out of his eyes didn't dissuade the Russian, however.
"I want to See."
"She is a Thaumaturgic, Mischa. What if she shows you the very depths of Hell? Would you really want to See that? Do you think you would ever recover?"
"I'm willing to take the risk." Mischa's nose climbed into the air, obviously displeased he thought there was something she couldn't handle. "I think it's important we know."
"Are you sure about that?" I asked. "I mean, what if I really am supposed to be one of those competition hair dressers? I've seen those hair shows on public access, and some of those 'dos are scary. You may have Flock of Seagulls themed nightmares."
True giggled, which only cause Mischa to be more determined. She swept up to the cage, one palm up in the air as if she was telling me to stop. I raised my hand in a similar fashion, walked forward, and then pressed it to hers. At first I couldn't tell anything was happening, but then her pupils grew large as her breathing accelerated. When Mandla ripped our hands apart she was gasping for air.
"Mischa! Are you okay? What did you See?"
Mischa didn't answer. She was still trying to catch her breath while her eyes remained locked on mine, although I'm not sure she was actually seeing me.
I really, really didn't want to know what it was she did See.
"Mischa! Damn it, answer me. What did you See?" Mandla grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her hard. She finally snapped out of her trance, but started shaking so hard I don't think she could've answered if she wanted.
I was so absorbed in the drama, while keeping an eye on Hashim who looked as if he might leap onto Mischa to get answers, I didn't see Travis admit another person into the room. Big mistake on my part. Because it would have been nice to not squeak like a little girl when the Alpha Female stepped forward.
"What is going on here?" a tiny girl with dark skin and darker eyes and hair asked. She was wearing a Manchester United t-shirt, ripped jeans, and flip-flops, which made her look all of nineteen. If it hadn't been for the power radiating off of her, I would have actually considered her harmless.
The Seers all went down on one knee, even Mischa, who almost collapsed trying to get there.
It was Hashim who answered his queen. "Mischa touched the Thaumaturgic. She's refusing to tell what she Saw."
The Alpha Female cocked her head to one side, sending a heavy curtain of hair cascading over one shoulder. "Mischa?"
"I... I can't remember." Mischa's eyes darted to mine for the briefest of moments. In that fleeting look one thing was overtly clear: She was lying. "I'm sorry, your highness."
"Are you certain you can't remember? You do understand the penalty for lying to me, don't you?"
Mischa visibly paled. "I promise. Let Lizzie read me."
The Alpha Female nodded at the red head. "Do it."
Lizzie placed her hand on Mischa's cheek, closed her eyes, and started swaying as a strange humming noise emitted from her throat. She went on like that for longer than was entirely comfortable before releasing Mischa and opening her eyes.
"I only get confusion and fear, your highness. I believe her."
"Can you See the truth?" It slipped out before I remembered I should be attempting to be invisible.
Lizzie blushed, which made her look even younger. "I'm a Soul Seer. I pick up on emotions and the occasional stray thought."
Emotions and the occasional stray thought? Talley could totally kick her butt in a Soul See-Off... not that it was a competition or anything.
"Harper is it?"
"I prefer Scout," I said, sounding more calm and collected than I actually was.
"My name is Sarvarna, but I prefer 'your majesty', 'your highness', or, as you Americans are so fond of, 'Alpha'." The funny thing was, she wasn't trying to be ironic. The chick really thought I would want to know that she preferred to be addressed royally.
"You're the Alpha?" When a healthy dose of pissed off flicked across her face I backtracked. "Sorry, it's just that I'm confused. I was under the impression the Alpha Male and Alpha Female were mates."
One corner of her mouth lifted. "We are."
Oh. Okay. So, her and Stefan...
Ewww. Just, ewwwwwwww.
As the realization and my feelings on the matter played across my face, Sarvarna's smile widened, showing teeth just as small and perfect as the rest of her. "It took quite a bit of doing," she said, "but eventually I was able to win him over."
She looked rapturous. Mischa and Lizzie both looked a bit uncomfortable. True looked as ill as I felt.
"How... fortunate for you," I said. "Stefan seems... nice?" God, what were you supposed to say to a real life Lolita?
"Your approval means the world to me, Thaumaturgic."
I made my tongue bleed to keep from saying something ill-advised. Lizzie spoke into the stilted silence my efforts caused. "Want me to take a turn, your highness?"
"Are you certain?" Sarvarna asked.
Lizzie's head nodded as her fingers drummed on her thigh.
"Causing her harm will forfeit your life." The words were severe, but the Alpha Female's expression was bored. "Are we clear?"
"As a bell." Because it's really hard to get that confused.
With a nod from Sarvarna, Lizzie approached the cage. Her steps were smaller and more hesitant than Mischa's, but I admired the way her eyes didn't waver from mine. She was young and scared, but she had bravery in aces. Under different circumstances I might have liked her.
When she stopped in front of the bars, she did the same palm up routine. I placed mine on hers, and then as a spur of the moment decision, tried to project the way I did with Talley.
Take what you can. I have nothing to hide, I thought at her.
Her eyes widened in shock before narrowing in concentration. I started feeling a slight pull where our hands met, as if the leeching of my thoughts and emotions had a physical representation. Lizzie probably would have stayed that way for half the day, but on a nod from Sarvarna, Hashim stepped forward and pulled the Seer back.
"Well?" Sarvarna asked. "Did you get anything?"
Lizzie's cheeks flamed red once more. "Just bits of memories and emotions." Once again I felt as though a Seer was lying about what she pulled out of me. Oddly, I found that comforting. "But I didn't feel anything bad or sneaky. I..." She cleared her throat and stared at her bellybutton. "I don't think she's a Thaumal... Thaumam..." Another clearing of the throat. "I don't think she's a witch."
The thing about the power surrounding Sarvarna is it was different than the Shifters. Take Travis, for instance. As long as he was within five hundred feet of me, I knew he was there because Wolf Scout acknowledged the existence of another predator. I could feel the competency of his wolf, the strength and the cunning. It was a constant, no matter his mood or the situation. The power was like a favorite hoodie. It just draped over him, there but not screaming for attention.
On the other hand, Sarvarna's power didn't just scream, it pitched a full-on temper tantrum. Instead of a hoodie, it was an every one is going to be talking about this for years Oscar gown. A living, breathing, reaching out to choke you Oscar gown. And Lizzie's declaration of my innocence pissed it right off.
Sarvarna took a deep breath, the power around her quivering in anticipation. "I think Scout and I need some time alone."
Even without telepathic abilities, I knew exactly what True was thinking. See you later, dead girl was written all over her face. Lizzie and Mischa, on the other hand, kept those carefully blank expressions.
"Are you sure, your highness?" Mischa bowed her head slightly. "Your safety is important to us."
"Lizzie has assured me there is no malice in the Thaumaturgic's mind. Besides, the Strategos will be waiting at the top of the stairs. I will be well protected."
Apparently, the Strategos atop the stairs bit was news to Mandla. "Your highness, I think it would be in your best interest for us to stay. The Polemarch ordered us to ensure your safety."
"And I'm ordering you to wait upstairs." The power focused on the African. "Will you defy me?"
"No, your highness." He bowed with stiff shoulders and firmly set jaw. When he rose he turned his glare to me. "If even one hair on her head is harmed, you will come to a slow, painful end."
I nodded - because how else was I supposed to respond to that? - and Mandla followed the others out the door.
Which left me alone with the chick who would one day stab me to death in the middle of a field.
Awesome.
"How do you find your accommodations?" she asked, leaning against the wall opposite my cage. She crossed her ankles and arms, looking for all the world as if she was comfy and relaxed. I may have believed it if I hadn't been able to feel the power whipping around or seen the way her pulse skipped in her throat.
"The Ritz has nothing on you Alphas." I plopped down on the mattress, tucking one leg up underneath me. Two could play at this It's All Cool game.
Her chin pitched up a fraction of an inch and those dark, dark eyes met mine. "It's meant as a punishment, not a restraint."
"Really?" They didn't mean to restrain me? Good to know the steel bars and generator backed-up force field were just for show. "And what am I being punished for?"
The curve of her lip told me something I hadn't even considered until then. She didn't believe I was one of the rumored Thaumaturgic. No, this was personal between she and I. Problem was, I had no idea what her issues were. After all, I just met her.
"Crimes against our species, of course."
"Of course," I said, infusing my voice with a healthy dose of sarcasm. "All this is just a rather elaborate form of being grounded. Has nothing to do with the fact that you're scared to death of me."
A surge of power. "I am not afraid of you."
"Then why are you all the way over there?"
Jase has often accused me of being antagonistic. According to him, the reason I had less than a handful of friends in school wasn't because the general populace was as mentally deficient and unkind as I suspected, but because I met even the hint of conflict or criticism with a snarl and complete disdain. I think he exaggerates to the point of lying, but there was something in me that felt the need to push when things started getting ugly. Usually, it wasn't a big deal. Loud, obnoxious boys backed off when they realized I wouldn't cower like a little girl. Snarky, condescending girls tended to shut their mouths when insults got slung back in their direction.
Perhaps the battle techniques which worked well for the war known as school wasn't best employed on the Alpha Female.
The concrete walls nearly vibrated with the power slamming through the basement. Sarvarna jerked from the wall and strode over to the cage, mouth tight and eyes hard.
"You don't want to do that," I said as she reached for the handle of the cage. "At least turn off the electric fence first. Getting shocked hurts like dammit." Which I knew from the time last night when I forgot about that aspect of my prison.
She froze with her hand an inch from the metal.
"Unless they've given you the code, you're going to have to call one of the Muscle Set down here to open it." I leaned back onto my hands as if we were discussing shades of toenail polish. "Although, I doubt they actually do it. Unlike you, they seem to have the good sense to know that even if I can't win, I will certainly take a few of you down with me."
When her arms went lax down at her sides, her held tilted to the left, and her eyes went unfocused, I thought I'd managed to actually scare her. Which probably wouldn't have been a win in the long run - people tend to just flat out kill things that make them pee their pants - but I had a brief moment of pure and total joy.
Then our other conversation started.
You didn't think I would find you? Sarvarna's in-the-head Seer voice sounded pretty much the same as her regular voice, except the British accent didn't sound so much Elizabeth Bennett as Delores Umbridge.
"I haven't exactly been hiding," I said out loud as an act of rebellion.
You've broken the rules, Lilith. Choosing a human? Smart, but against the rules.
"Scout. The name is Scout. Is it really that hard to remember?"
I will not let you take what is mine.
I could've pointed out how I was yet again clueless, but what the heck? The chick was full-on crazy and really starting to piss me off. I let a small smile play at my lips. "You can't stop me."
That was my last visit until the night before my trial.
For two weeks, the only person who fully entered the basement was the slender woman who obviously belonged to Akay and mini-Akay. I never learned her name since the others only referred to her as "Omega," which was apparently what the Alphas called their servants. She would bring in my food three times a day, and take my trash and dishes back at the end of the night. She never spoke or looked at me directly. And the entire time she was in the basement, one of the Shifters stood at the door and pointed a 9mm at my head.
I never really understood the whole prison as a punishment thing until then. I always thought it sounded more like a vacation than anything else. You didn't have to go to school or work or whatever it was that ate away the time you should use to actually live your life? No responsibilities, all your needs taken care of? Didn't sound like a bad gig.
I was so very wrong. Being cut off from the people and life you know is a very special torture, one guaranteed to get under you skin and drive you to distraction. Staring at the same four bare walls day in and day out? An ocular nightmare. Pacing the same fifteen by fifteen square foot of concrete over and over again? Cabin fever at its finest. Knowing nothing you did was private, that someone was always aware of where you were and what you were doing? Creeptastic. Having no one to talk to? The voices in your head just get louder and louder to fill the silence.
And, of course, that whole gun pointed at my head thing was all sorts of not fun.
My sanity came in the form of the cheap paperback novels I read at least twice each and eavesdropping on my guards. At least one Shifter was stationed outside my door at all times. During mealtimes, there were two. Mandla, Hashim, and Travis were all on rotation, as were the three slightly less dominant Shifters.
Cory the Canadian was what you would expect out of a Canadian named Cory - outdoorsy and cute in that boy next door kind of way. Assuming the boy next door neighbor is an actual boy and sports a six pack. My next door neighbor is close to sixty and carries a beer gut.
Rocco was from Italy and spoke no English, which was perfectly okay with me. I got the basic gist of what he was saying as his eyes roamed my body, and I was pretty sure it had nothing to do with taking a ride on his Vespa to get a gellato.
The last of the lower stationed Shifters was named Bob, which wouldn't have been quite so odd if he hadn't obviously been born and raised somewhere in Asia. I overheard him explain, in broken English, that he was from China, and his birth name was a bit difficult to pronounce, so he renamed himself Bob, after Bob Dylan.
While Cory, Rocco, and Bob kept me mildly entertained, it was the person who got them talking who really pulled me through those long days. From the time he woke up every morning until he went to bed every night, Charlie hovered around the staircase leading into the basement. I don't know exactly what he was doing up there, but I do know what he was doing every time he opened his mouth.
God bless him, Charlie was trying to give me intel.
It was subtle, a bit of friendly chatter mixed with some gently probing questions. The Alpha Pack was reluctant to talk to him at first, but eventually he charmed his way into their good graces. It was what made Charlie Charlie. I would have pissed them off by saying something flippant, and Jase would have tried bullying them into saying something. Neither of us would have gotten far, but Charlie handed me fighting style preferences and weaknesses on a silver platter by remarking on something he noticed during a training or sparing session, which apparently happened just outside the window he was parked beside eighteen hours of the day.
Not only that, he also kept me up-to-date on what was happening in the real world. Talley was being encouraged to spend time with the other Seers, who were being very friendly and outgoing. My parents were calling on a regular basis, but Jase was able to keep them from worrying too much. Angel tried to run away from home to find me, but only made it to the end of the driveway since she required two adult sized suitcases to travel.
And Charlie wasn't the only one making sure I heard a familiar voice every now and then. At least once a day Talley would come to check on Charlie. She never stayed too long, and mostly just made sure he was eating something, but she always made sure to say something about what she and Jase were doing and mention they were okay.
I was grateful for everything my two best friends were doing, but as the days drug on I got more and more disgruntled because Jase never came. I would hear him moving around on the upper floors, but he never made the journey to the top of the stairs. I felt petty and stupid for getting upset about it, but his lack of consideration hurt.
Then, two days before the trial, yet another knife was stabbed into my chest.
I was laying on the bed, which was starting to feel like brick after excessive overuse, rereading the steamy parts of what was quickly becoming one of my favorite romance novels. The drone of the TV upstairs had been so constant that at first my ears didn't know how to register the lack of noise. Then, I heard the voice I'd been straining to hear for nearly two weeks.
"So, you wanted to see me?" Jase asked. By the way his voice dropped a few octaves below his normal speaking voice I knew he was talking to a girl.
"We've had so very little time alone these past few weeks," the Alpha Female replied. "I wanted to see how you were enjoying your time with us."
There was some shuffling, then a plop and the sound of a chair shifting under the sudden application of weight. "It's been cool. You guys have a pretty sweet set-up here."
"We've done the best we could with the rental." She sounded as if she was talking about a two room apartment as opposed to the biggest house on Kentucky Lake. "After growing up at the Den, it's hard to adjust to meager accommodations, but the Omegas work hard to ensure our comfort."
"If this is meager accommodations, I'd love to see what you call fancy."
There was a long pause. "Would you, Jase?"
"Yeah, totally. I mean, there is a 52 inch plasma TV with an XBOX360 and a PS3 in every bedroom. And have you seen the inside of my shower? There are like five different heads shooting water at you."
A throaty laugh. "No, I don't believe I've had the pleasure of being in your shower."
I swallowed back the bile surging into my throat.
"You really should come take a look sometime."
My hands itched with the desire to slap some sense into my brother. What the Hades was he thinking flirting with the Alpha Male's mate? Although no one ever mentioned it, I'm pretty sure that was a guaranteed way to get his "meager" accommodations changed to where he was sharing a room with me.
"Tempting," Sarvarna practically purred. "You know we have some very nice bathing facilities at the Den also. I would really like for you to see them."
"Seriously?" There was the sound of something clunking against the floor, probably either the legs of the chair Jase was sitting in or his feet.
"Quite. I've seen you practicing with my Pack every morning. You're quite the skilled fighter, and your Dominance is quite evident. Of course, it's rare for a coyote to be accepted into the Alpha Pack, but not impossible."
Someone stood, and by the sound of the footsteps as they paced about, it was Jase.
"This is about Talley, right? You want her, and so you're asking me to join the Alpha Pack knowing we're a package deal."
"Of course we want Talley, but I also want you."
There was no denying the double meaning there, which was just all kinds of wrong. I mean, she was holding his sister captive until the new moon, when she was going to kill her. Not only that, she was mated to an old, ugly guy who was, by definition, the most badass Shifter on the planet. Hitting on Jase wasn't just creepy and wrong, it was supposed to be impossible. Was Charlie wrong about that whole no boinking anyone else while mated thing? Or was she just trying to play my brother?
For the record, I was going with option two.
And apparently, so was Jase.
"You don't believe me?" Sarvarna asked.
"I'm a coyote---"
"One of the strongest coyotes I've ever met. By the time you're in your prime you'll easily be the most dominant coyote Shifter in decades, if not centuries."
"I'm not---"
"You are." Some rustling and chair being scooted against the floor. "Trust me, Jase. You're special. I've Seen it. In the future, you could be a Stratego. Don't you want that? Don't you want to be one of us?"
"You know I would be honored. Anyone would be. It's just that Talley isn't really sure about the whole thing, and she's my mate. I can't just drag her into it. That wouldn't be fair."
"What if she wasn't your mate?"
I swear I heard Jase gulp.
"What do you mean? I've made my declaration."
"I am the Alpha Female, Jase, or have you forgot?"
"Of course not, but---"
"There are no buts. My power is absolute. And if, during the hearing to determine whether Talley belongs to you or her father's Pack, I should decide that you were sincere in your declaration but refuse to accept it based on the Alpha Pack's need of you both to be unattached, then you would be free."
"And Talley...?"
"She can return to either the Matthews Pack or Hagan Pack, or join us. It would be her call."
There was a long silence, and I knew Jase was thinking over the offer. Don't do it, I thought at him so hard my head ached. If the White Witch offers you Turkish Delights, tell her to shove off. Come on, Jase. You know this is wrong.
"And just like that, Talley wouldn't be my mate any more?"
"She's not your mate now."
"I made a declaration."
"And it was a brilliant strategic move. Really, I applaud you on your choice. Talley has a reasonable amount of power, more so than most Seers in your area. By claiming her, you solidified your position as the most Dominant Shifter in the Southern United States, if not all of this country. But it wasn't necessary. You would have been anyway. Let me relieve you of your burden."
My dislike of Sarvarna transformed into pure, unadulterated hatred at that moment. Locking me in a cage and threatening my life was bad enough, but referring to Talley as burden in that snotty British accent, sounding as if she was speaking about something gooey clinging to the bottom of her shoe? Unacceptable. I waited for the sound of Jase's fist connecting with her face.
It never came. Instead, I heard, "What do you need from me?"
"I require only what you should freely offer - loyalty to your fellow Shifters above all things."
A tear rolled down my cheek as Jase sealed my fate with the words, "You have it."
"Things aren't always how they appear."
I rolled my eyes at Alex, who was sitting on the ground with Nicole in his lap as I wore a path in the strip of beach that was quickly becoming as constrictive as my cage. "Thanks for that bit of deep, inspired wisdom. I feel so much better now."
"I'm just saying, you weren't in that room. Sure, it sounded like Jase is making a deal to turn you over to the She-Devil in exchange for a place in the Alpha Pack, but that might not really be what is going down. You should have a little more faith in your brother."
I wanted to have more faith in Jase. I really, truly did. But Jase is nothing if not opportunistic. He likes being on top, being one of the cool kids. Sarvarna was offering him admittance into the coolest of the cool kid clubs in all of Shifterdom. Would he being willing to turn his back on me to get in? Twenty-four ago I would've said no, but that conversation was hard to dispute, no matter what Alex said.
"What's the trial going to be like?" I asked, watching as my feet moved across the dirt. Step, two, three, four. Pivot. Step, two, three, four. Pivot. Second verse, same as the first.
Alex shrugged. "I don't know."
"What do you mean you don't know?"
"I mean, I don't know. It wasn't like I ever got put on trial for anything. Unlike you, I was a good little Shifter."
I stopped so he would get the full brunt of my evil eye. "Now you're just being a brat."
He leapt up in one of those graceful, only a Shifter can do it moves that always managed to give my heart a little jump. He really was beautiful. If nothing else, I was glad I continued to have these dreams just so I wouldn't forget what he looked like.
"Sorry," he said, coming to a stop in front of me as the puppy leapt around our feet eagerly. I shivered slightly as he pushed a strand of hair behind my ear. "I was just trying to lighten things up a little bit. I don't really know what to say or do here. This Spirit Guide gig doesn't come with a manual or anything."
"What? You didn't get your Handbook for the Recently Deceased? I'm pretty sure those are standard issue."
Alex showed his dimples. "Big, hardback thing with a cover straight out of 1955? Looked boring. Tossed it in the garbage."
I stepped into his arms and rested my head on his shoulder. Things had changed since my big revelation about how this was all just another aspect of my newly minted mental illness. We still touched, but it was more out of comfort than hormones. Still, the feel of his body against mine was one of the most divine things in the world. If only I could stay there forever.
Wait...
"Alex, what happens when someone dies?" Muscles tightened beneath my cheek. "Will I get to come here and be with you?"
"You are not going to die."
"Sorry, but the Magic 8 Ball says, 'All signs point to yes.'" I was to an odd point of acceptance about the whole thing. Maybe it was the depression talking, but ridding myself of all the drama didn't sound like the worst thing to ever happen. And if dying meant being with Alex, wherever he was now, I was okay with that.
Alex, however, was not okay with it. At all. Most of my sleeping hours in the cage were spent on the beach, and an overwhelming number of them involved Alex hatching stellar defenses and elaborate escape plans. I went back and forth between being annoyed by his single-mindedness and feeling relief that my subconscious was fighting so hard to keep me alive.
"It's not going to happen, Scout. There is no way we came this far just to have you die now. You have so much more you have to do."
For the love of Pete. "Is this a destiny thing? Because you know how I feel about that crap."
Alex pulled back and locked his grey eyes onto mine. "Why must you be so stubborn?"
"I'm not stubborn, I'm realistic."
"You're special."
"I'm a freak."
His fingers played with a strand of my hair. "You're wrong. You're the exact opposite of freak. You're like the anti-freak."
"Is that the same thing as the Anti-Christ? Because I think that's one of the things the Alphas are charging me with."
"The Thaumaturgics aren't the Anti-Christ. I think most popular belief has them as Satan's minions on Earth."
"Do I look like a minion to you? Or a witch for that matter." I pulled back, freeing one of my hands so it could grab a clump of my hair. "This? Not black and bristly. I have no warts to speak of, and my nose is both dainty and straight. Seriously, what is wrong with these people?"
"Actually, you're supposed to be able to tell a Thaumaturgic by her ethereal beauty." He ran a finger down the length of my nose and then tapped the end. "That's probably how they got so confused. They saw how gorgeous you are and assumed you had to be otherworldly."
I rolled my eyes, hoping it distracted from the blush I could feel spreading across my cheeks. "You seem to know a lot about these Thaumaturgics," I said. "You know, it might have been helpful for you to have mentioned them before. Like maybe when I was asking if witches were real you could have said, 'Sure, but my people call them Thaumaturgics, because we've enjoyed way too many role playing games.'"
Alex let me pull away completely. I rested my hands on my hips; he folded his arms across his chest. All systems go for what my father would call a "deep discussion."
"I didn't tell you about them because I don't believe they really exist. And what would you have done if you had known about them in the first place? At least this way you have the advantage of being honestly lacking in any knowledge of Thaumaturgy."
"At least I would've known what I was dying for. The way it stands now, I'm going to get executed for doing something, but I don't even know what it is."
"You. Are. Not. Going. To. Die."
I took a deep breath, reminding myself this was just a dream and nothing more. Sometimes that worked. I was able to let go of the emotion and drama and move on. But sometimes, like this one, I couldn't convince myself it wasn't real. I felt too much, was too worked up to let it go.
"Can we just agree to disagree on this point and move on?"
Alex was holding himself so rigidly I kinda thought he might break, but instead of arguing he said, "Move on to what?"
I made a conscious effort to appear less confrontational, dropping my arms to my side and shifting my weight to one foot. "You could tell me what you know about Thaumaturgics."
"I really think---"
"Please?" I dipped into the Angel arsenal, attempting to make puppy dog eyes. "I just want to know what it is I'm being accused of, Alex. Please tell me."
"I think using that face qualifies as cheating."
I dropped to the ground, crossing my legs criss-cross-applesauce style as a big grin spread across my face. "Story time!" I declared, knowing I was going to get my way.
Alex scowled, but came to sit by me all the same. The pup climbed back into his lap, angling her head so he would scratch it.
"So, what do you know?"
I searched my brain for all pertinent bits I'd been able to pick up. "Thaumaturgics are women, the female half of Immortals. They are the enemies of Seers and Shifters. And although everyone seems to think there are Shifters and Seers who believe in them, no one who would ever tell me anything is among that number."
Alex's eyebrows quirked. "That's not much."
"I think I've said that. Repeatedly."
"Well, you're right about Immortals and Thaumaturgics." He stretched his long, frayed-jeans covered legs. I noticed for the first time that he was barefoot. "According to the stories, they have the same sort of relationship as Shifters and Seers, but it's reversed. There are more Thaumaturgics than Immortals, and the Thaumaturgics are the ones with the active power."
"Which is...?"
"They can change things, manipulate them."
"Like turn a prince into a frog?"
"I think that's on the Super-Thaumaturgic side of the spectrum, but yeah. They're supposed to be like Seers and have a specific affinity. Like there are Thaumaturgics who can do stuff with water and others who can manipulate earth."
"This is starting to remind me of Captain Planet."
"Now you see why all of your nice, sane friends don't believe in them?"
I kicked at his ankle, somewhat surprised to see that I was no longer wearing shoes either. "Keep talking, Narrator Man. I want details."
Alex used his toe to fling dirt at me. "I don't have details. Seriously, if Thaumaturgics and Immortals exist, there aren't very many of them. I've never heard of a Shifter or Seer meeting one."
"And until last Christmas I'd never known anyone who had met an actual werewolf. Just because they aren't getting all buddy-buddy with their known enemies doesn't mean they don't exist."
"You know what? I think you are a Thaumaturgic," Alex said. "You've got this weird ability to manipulate logic in a way to make it sound like you're right."
"That's because I am always right," I said, eyelashes batting. "So, is that all you've got? Because that's not much more than I had to begin with."
Of course it's not, my inner-Scout whispered. This is all in your head. How could you know something you don't already know?
"Okay, Smarty Pants. Did you know Thaumaturgy required a ritualistic sacrifice and Immortals stay young by eating babies?"
"Are you serious?"
Alex's smile was unrepentant. "No, not at all. Really, 'agents of the devil' is the only thing they've got going against them as far as I know."
"You're useless," I sighed. The pup made an adorable little barking noise, which was probably supposed to be filled with righteous anger. I reached over and scratched behind her ears. "Sorry. Let me amend that. You're useless in terms of information gathering. Don't ever seek out a career as a librarian. On the other hand, you're a wonderful wolf sitter. Keep up the good work on that front."
The pup laid her head back down, appeased. I started to pull my hand away, but at her whine it went right back to where it was.
"I told you, knowing more about Thaumaturgics isn't going to change anything."
"And I told you I wanted to know what it is they're accusing me of."
"Knowledge junkie."
"Hallucination."
He threw a hand dramatically over his heart and fell backwards. Nicole saw this as a grand opportunity to see how his face tasted. "Your lack of faith wounds me," he said through giggles.
Even though it'd been daylight the entire time I was there, the sun started rising over the lake. Dawn was coming, and with it my last day on earth. Suddenly, I felt very, very tired. Not the boy I need to sleep variety, but the kind that settles into the very fiber of your being. The kind that leaves your heart heavy and soul weary.
I lay back, my head resting mere inches from Alex. Nicole nearly burst from the excitement of having a new face to torture with her sloppy puppy kisses. I echoed Alex's giggles as her warm puppy tongue tickled my ear before bounding back over to her original prey. His eyes met mine as he batted playfully at his attacker. I tried to smile but couldn't seem to get the corners of my lips to comply.
"Can you give us a minute?" Alex asked Nicole. She gave him a couple more kisses, then came to drop one on my cheek before disappearing into the forest.
"She's very considerate," I said when her absence and silence became a little awkward.
"She has her moments," he agreed. His hand stretched out and found mine. His skin was warm and soft, though I could feel callouses on his fingers.
"I don't want to wake up."
"I know."
"I'm scared."
His hand tightened on mine. "I know."
The tear darting down my temple felt like lava. I didn't bother wiping it away, or any of the ones that followed. I didn't say anything else, because there was nothing left to say. As the sun continued to rise in the sky, I just lay there, holding his hand, looking into familiar grey eyes I would never see in the living world again.
Almost made me glad I wouldn't be in the living world much longer myself.
"You're going to wake up soon," he said as the sun breached the top of the trees.
My lips quirked as I repeated his refrain. "I know."
He pulled himself up to his elbows without releasing my hand. "I need to tell you something before you go."
"Okay."
He sat up the rest of the way, pulling me with him. We were sitting face to face with my back to the morning sun once we got settled. The rays played over his hair and face. His jaw was set. His eyes blazed. To me, he looked like one of God's avenging angels.
"Promise you'll believe me."
Another repeated line, another quirk of the lips. "I promise to try."
Without warning, he grabbed my face and kissed me. It wasn't the passionate, goes on forever kind of kiss I'd grown accustomed to, but it curled my toes all the same. When it was over he stayed close enough I could still feel his lips move against mine. "This is real, and I didn't leave you alone. I have always loved you, and I will love you until the end of time. Now, wake up and live."
Even after I woke up I could still feel where Alex's lips touched mine.
This is real, and I didn't leave you alone.
I wanted to believe. As my fingers traced my still sensitive lips, the need to believe was a loud, hungry thing inside me. And where was the harm in giving in? This was the day of the trial. While I wasn't sure exactly how the Shifter legal system worked, I knew these weren't the kind of people to leave their guilty sitting on death row for years and years. I wasn't being melodramatic when I told Alex I thought this was my last day on earth. Logic said I wasn't going to be breathing when the sun rose tomorrow morning.
There was a knock on the door, the signal for me to stand in the middle of the cage, hands up in the universal criminal pose, while my breakfast was delivered. Mrs. Akay walked through the door in her usual fashion - head of graying dark hair down, steps small and quick. She never spoke, never looked at me. In a new and different move, Travis followed her into the basement while Rocco had the honors of keeping the handgun leveled on my head.
"Before you whine about the lack of nutrition, you should know Talley told us to feed you this crap," Travis said with his slow drawl.
My normal breakfast tray included eggs, toast or biscuits, sausage or bacon, fruit, and milk. This morning the only staple item was the milk. Along with it was a box of Cap'n Crunch, a giant bowl, a spoon, and a can of Mello Yello.
"You should be so lucky as to have a friend like Talley Matthews." My voice actually hitched a little as I said it. Excellent. It was going to be the kind of day where I got all teary eyed over cereal and soft drinks.
"She's good people," he agreed. "You know she's coming to see you later today?"
"Please don't be kidding me," I whispered.
Travis smiled as Mrs. Akay brushed past him. "Nope. I'm not much of a joker, especially the mean kind." He closed the door and engaged the lock. "Stefan reckons if you can be a good girl all day a couple of pre-trial visits won't hurt anything. You are going to be a good girl today, aren't ya?"
If it meant I got to see my friends one more time I would be anything they wanted me to be. "Saint-like."
"Glad to hear it." Instead of going out the door that led to the basement stairs, he leaned against it. "I'm on Scout Duty this morning, and I'm not really feeling up to the drama of an attempted escape."
I grabbed the cereal and poured half the box into the bowl. It wasn't like calories and sugar were going to make much of a difference at this point. "Well, I would certainly hate to inconvenience you."
His laughter was slow and deep and made me aware of the tiny little hairs on the back of the neck. "I hope you're innocent," he said. "You're fun to have around."
\*\*\*
Scout Duty seemed to entail actually staying in the basement all day. Travis's presence made the whole morning shower routine a bit blush-inducing since there was no way he couldn't see through the flimsy curtain, but I wasn't going into my trial unwashed. I settled by showering in my bra and panties, thinking it would be like wearing a bikini. It probably would've been if I hadn't felt Travis's eyes on me the whole time.
But other than the part where I felt like an unwitting porn star, having him around was nice and distracting. I was practically starved for conversation thanks to my solitary confinement, and Travis wasn't hard to talk to. He lived up to pretty much every Texas stereotype with his love of football and country music, but we found mutual ground when it came to old slasher movies. We spent a good hour or more trying to decide if Freddy or Jason were more badass.
It was two hours after another parade of my favorite foods - corn dogs, Doritos, a Little Debbie brownie, and more Mello Yello - when there was a hesitant knock at the door. It was the day of the new moon, so my nose wasn't working at full strength, but I still could smell a hint of baby shampoo and fresh baked bread.
This time it was Bob who stood on the other side of the door, but instead of pulling the gun, he simply ushered in Talley and then stood on the side opposite Travis.
"You're in a jail!" my best friend exclaimed as she rushed towards the bars. I yelled, "No!" at the exact same moment Travis reached out and grabbed her arm. He managed to stop her before she actually touched the metal.
"That's wired, sweetheart. Don't want to see you fry like mosquito on a bug zapper, now do we?"
"You've put her in an electrocuted jail?"
Talley's outrage was comforting in some respects, especially since it reflected my own feelings on the subject, but I hated seeing her so upset.
"Is jail the right term?" I asked, walking up as close as I dared to the bars. "Doesn't that indicated a multiple cell facility? I think this is more of a cage. Maybe a prison, but cage really captures the feel more."
"Whatever it's called, it's wrong." She turned on the Shifter with narrowed eyes. "You said she was comfortable."
"She is comfortable," Travis said. "The bed has got a new mattress and everything. It's nice, ain't it, Scout?"
"He's right. This is pretty top of the line as cages go."
Talley ignored my comment in favor of keeping her focus on Travis. "Let her out."
Travis ducked his head. "Sorry, Talley. You know I can't do that."
Something licked across my skin. A tiny pulse of power that seemed to be coming from Talley. "Then let me in."
Travis looked at Bob, who shrugged as if to say, Whatever, dude. I'm just here in case I get to shoot someone.
"I'm doing this because I like you and your girl here made me a promise." He looked at me over Talley's head as he undid the lock. "Saint-like, remember?"
"See this?" I said, pointing at the space above my head. "Halo. Glowing bright and proud."
"And you?" he asked Talley.
"There is a reason Jase calls me Mother Teresa."
Travis didn't even try to hide the boyish grin on his face or knowing look in his eye. "Oh, we all know the reason." Catching on to his meaning, Talley's face flamed. "You girls have thirty minutes, so be good." He locked the cage door behind Talley and then resumed his post.
Talley had her arms wrapped around me before the hum of electricity started vibrating in the bars. "I can't believe they've put you in a cage."
"I can't believe you can't believe they put me in a cage."
"Are you okay?" she muttered in my ear. "Have they hurt you?"
I shook my head, enjoying the human contact. Normally, I merely tolerate Talley's hugs, but after two weeks without being touched in the waking world, I starved for it. "I'm well fed, well exercised, and abuse free," I assured her. "Lonely and bored, and being stuck with the same five novels for the two weeks is a special kind of hell, but I'm okay." I squeezed her a bit harder. "How are you?"
"Good." She released her hold on me. I held on for a second or two longer and then let her go. "They've been really nice to all of us. Lizzie, one of the other Seers, has even been helping me with my abilities since we're both Soul Seers."
I raised an eyebrow, knowing Talley had to realize she should be the one giving Lizzie lessons.
"I'm glad you're being taken care of," I said, meaning it. "I would hate to break out of here and kick someone's butt if they were mistreating you."
Talley's face clouded over. "Honestly, Scout, I had no idea it was like this for you. The way True talked, I thought this was like a basement apartment. I would have never just sat idly by and let them do this."
"Tal, it's not so bad. Really." I grabbed onto her wrist and tugged her towards the bed. "Come, experience the comfort of swanky mattress." As I coaxed her into sitting beside me I sent a message through our skin to skin link. There was nothing you could do, I told her. If you would have tried anything they would've stuck you and the boys in here with me. What good would that have done anyone?
The images I got in response included a truck, a gate, and a barn.
It seemed brain to brain communication was one of those things that needed constant practice to keep sharp.
Our thirty minutes passed quickly with Talley updating me on reports from my parents (Dad was angry, Mom was worried, and Angel was in the process of redecorating my bedroom), how the boys were doing (Charlie wasn't falling apart again and Jase was, big shocker, fitting in nicely), and my best defense strategy (unfortunately, she still hadn't discovered a nice, logical reason I was able to Change). Before we knew it, Travis was opening the door, telling Talley to get the show on the road.
"I love you," she said, unshed tears in her voice.
"You're worth twelve of me. Take care of yourself, and keep an eye on the boys." Because, even knowing what transpired between Jase and the Alpha Female, he was still my brother, still mine. "Don't let them do anything stupid."
Talley started to say something, but her voice cracked, and she just gave up. Her arms were tight around my waist, and I found myself dropping kisses of comfort onto the crown of her head.
And then the images started cascading in my mind.
Maroon pick-up truck parked underneath the trees.
An ornate gate.
An old barn, red paint peeling.
Then they repeated, over and over again.
"Come on, girls." Travis's voice was kind, but demanding. "If we're even a minute late getting upstairs we'll both be in trouble."
Talley stepped back. Even though her eyes were filled with tears, I could see purpose and understanding there. Those images weren't by accident. I nodded slightly, letting her know I understood.
\*\*\*
When Bob returned from escorting Talley back upstairs he wasn't alone.
"You're not going in, don't even ask." Travis was still lounged against the wall by the door, but his posture changed just enough to prove he was ready for action. Bob also took up his former post, but this time the gun was in his hand.
"Hey, Chuck," I said from my crossed-legged pose in the middle of the cage floor. "What's new?"
Charlie looked at the two guards, seeing the same aggressiveness as I did. He folded himself into a mirror image of my position, showing he was no threat. Bob's grip on the gun eased up a bit, but both of the Shifters still looked battle ready.
"Quit my job," he said, propping his elbows on his knees and resting his chin in his hands.
"Really? I thought you loved the debauchery of it all."
"Got tired of having to update all my shots every other week. Anyway, I got kinda busy."
"Yeah, that's the tragedy of a job. Eats up all your time so you can't do important things, like save Princess Peach from Bowser."
"I'm so glad someone else gets it," he said absentmindedly as his eyes roamed over my surroundings. "That's some pen you got there, Scout. Chains on the wall and everything."
"It's luxurious, right? I must be a very good puppy."
"Obviously. I just have a bed with my name printed on a little gold tag."
"Poor mistreated mongrel."
"Spoiled princess."
We both sat up straighter at the same time as though the move was coordinated. Charlie's focus had shifted from my surroundings to me, his eyes critically following my movement. In any other situation his intense focus would have been embarrassing, but I knew concern when I saw it.
"You look good," he said.
"Charlie, you're gonna make me blush," I giggled, trying to ease the lines around his eyes.
He didn't take the bait, all humor leeched out of him. "I've missed you."
"I've missed you, too," I said around the lump that magically appeared in my throat.
Charlie shifted around so one knee was raised up beside him. "Scout, we need to talk." His eyes focused on the concrete stretching between us.
"Okay..."
"Actually, I need to talk, and I need you to listen."
This promised to be a lot of fun. "Okay."
"That night, when Alex died---"
I couldn't do this. "Charlie---"
"No." His voice was a command. "I need to say this, Scout. Please, let me talk."
I didn't reply. I couldn't. Everything in my body was frozen.
"No interruptions."
My chin bobbed down and back up as if resting a mechanical neck.
"That night, we were hunting for Alex. We'd been tracking the Cole's hunting patterns and had a pretty good idea of where we could find them. For Jase, it was simple. We were going to find him, do a stealth attack, and leave him unable to move until the sunrise put him back together again so he would leave Timber and take the threat to your life along with him.
"Jase was on a quest to protect you, and so was I. But that wasn't all it was to me. Jase didn't like him because he was a wolf, and he could hurt you. I hated him because of the way he looked at you, the way you looked at him. I hated him because you chose to be with him instead of me."
I squeezed my arms around my chest, trying to hold the shattered bits of my heart together by force.
"When I saw you there with him, touching him, something inside of me broke. My animal thought of you as mine, despite everything. I don't remember anything after that. Jase told me what happened later, but my memories skip from seeing you cuddling with the wolf to sitting in a hospital waiting room, Talley telling me you would live."
Charlie, who had always been too stubborn to cry, even when he wore the evidence of his dad's latest bender all over his body, let the tears drip off his chin.
"Everyone tells me it was an accident, that I didn't mean to kill him, but I think they're wrong." His eyes finally met mine, and I flinched at the anguish I saw there. "I am not a good person. I don't have Tal's heart of gold or your integrity. I don't know what really happened that night, but I know it's my fault. I know I will carry the guilt for what I did to Alex and his brother and you the rest of my life. And I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, but you have to know I'm sorry. I should have said it sooner. I should have said it every minute of every day for the past three and a half months, but I was a coward, and I didn't. So, I'm saying it now.
"Scout, I am so sorry."
I rubbed at my eyes with my fists. "Can I talk now?"
Charlie nodded.
"I love you." The words spilled out of my mouth. "I can't remember ever not loving you." I probably should've been guilt-stricken to say those words to Charlie just hours after maybe-a-dream Alex said them to me, but I wasn't. I had loved Charlie my whole life. That emotion didn't diminish when I fell in love with Alex.
Charlie sobbed at my declaration, and I almost lost the ability to speak. It was the most painful noise I ever heard in my life. "And you were right when you said we can't go back to where we were. That night changed everything forever. Alex will always come between us." Saying the words aloud, I knew they were true. Heartbreakingly true. "But there are some things that will never change. I will always be your friend. A part of my heart will always be yours. And I will always, always forgive you." Even if I couldn't forget.
"You shouldn't," came his broken reply.
"I was there, Charlie. I remember. I don't know what was going on in your head, but I know how Alex died. You didn't push him over the edge of that cliff on purpose." Once again I didn't realize the truth of my words until I actually said them. "It was an accident. Yes, you could've done things differently and he would still be alive today, but the same thing could be said for Jase. Or me. Or even Alex himself. We all made mistakes that night, and we've all paid a price." I wasn't naive. I knew we would all keep paying in some way for the rest of our lives, no matter how short that might be. But we needed to move on. All of us.
"I don't deserve you," Charlie said.
I attempted a smile. "And I don't deserve you. Guess that makes us even."
It was three hours after Charlie left when a phone rang at the top of the stairs. Bob answered, asked about "the Matthews girl", and then informed the caller "we" would be on our way. When Bob opened the door and told Cory, who had been standing guard since Travis's shift ended, I finally realized Jase wasn't coming to see me.
"Ms. Donovan, we're getting ready to take you out to meet your accusers," Cory said as he turned off the electricity going to the cage. "I'm going to come in and put these handcuffs on you. It would be in your best interest to not do anything stupid." Since Bob was aiming a gun at my head, I thought he was probably right. "We will be walking you up the stairs and outside to the hall. Bob and I will be your only escorts, but the rest of the Stratego and Taxiarho are standing at alert. There is no chance for escape."
"I'm innocent," I said in a dull, defeated voice. "Why would I try to escape?"
Cory came through the door, and I held out my arms to him.
"Place your arms behind you, please."
I did as he asked. A tiny voice told me I should be enraged at the indignity or terrified by the loss of the use of my arms, but I really couldn't be bothered to care. My talks with Talley and Charlie left me emotionally drained, and Jase's inability to make an appearance left me feeling hollow. I knew what was happening, what all of this meant, but I felt like I was watching it on TV.
"Thought you'd want to know, Talley is going back to the Hagan Pack for now," Cory said as he snapped the cuffs into place. "Jase is going to stay there a while too."
"Don't mates always stay together?" I asked even though I had a pretty good idea as to the situation before Cory said it.
"They're not mates. The queen decided to not recognize Jase's declaration since he and Talley both are now in training to become part of the Alpha Pack. She didn't want any complications should one of them prove to be a candidate and the other not."
My heart clenched even tighter, turning itself into a tiny little bouncy ball in my chest. Talley was in training to join the Alphas? What did that even mean? Did they give her a choice? Or was this yet another "perk" of being a gifted Seer? I was so lost in my thoughts Cory had to give me a push so I would start moving.
It was strange to leave the basement after two weeks of confinement. The light in the hallway was too bright, the pattern of the kitchen floor a sensory overload. I had a crazy desire to run back downstairs until Bob opened the French doors and the evening air wafted across my face.
"It feels amazing out here," I said.
"It's seven o'clock at night and the heat index is at ninety-eight degrees," Cory replied. "It's miserable."
I disagreed. Sure, it was oppressively hot and the humidity was so high it felt like you needed to do the breaststroke to walk from one place to another, but there was something to be said for the openness of the great outdoors. I closed my eyes, confident Bob and Cory would lead me in the right direction, and took a deep breath. Even with the new moon I could pick out a million different scents. The lake. Pine trees. Roses. A nearby cornfield. My gray wolf.
I almost tripped over my own feet. Cory was opening the door to the miniature replica of the main house, but I got another good whiff of the night air before being pushed inside. The smell was definitely there.
There were two options. One, I could rationalize how my panicked brain was creating something to comfort me in my hour of need and forget it. Or two, I could believe that Alex really didn't leave me alone.
Since I didn't have much else going for me at the moment, I chose the second option. And thinking I wasn't alone made facing the lynch mob a bit more bearable.
Now, as lynch mobs goes, this one was relatively organized and subdued, but as the roomful of eyes turned towards me, there was no mistaking their intent. You could almost hear a ghostly echo of "Burn the witch!"
The building turned out to be a one big room type affair, probably operating as a game/party area when it wasn't being overtaken by a bunch of supernatural creatures. As it was, rows of chairs lined up facing what was either the judge's bench or main stage, depending on your view of the whole affair. About thirty Shifters and Seers sat in the chairs. I spotted Mr. Matthews on one side, looking like someone just took away his next five Christmases and birthdays.
The Hagan Pack sat on the other side. I saw Talley sitting beside Toby, who had one arm draped across her shoulders in what could only be described as brotherly affection. Makya sat on Toby's other side, a leer in his gaze even now. On Talley's other side sat the only person in the room who wasn't looking at me - Jase.
Cory and Bob led me past all the gawkers to the middle of the open floor. Sarvarna and Stefan sat in the middle on big, ornate chairs that were probably supposed to be thrones but instead looked like Old Spaghetti Factory leftovers. To Sarvarna's right sat True, Mischa, and Lizzie, and to Stefan's left were Mandla, Hashim, and Travis. I sorta expected matching robes, or at least some gaudy gowns, but everyone was dressed very business casual. Sarvarna was rocking a black pant suit and crisp white top, which looked both classy and evil, in a corporate take-over kind of way.
Cory and Bob bowed at the waist. "My Queen. Polemarch," Bob said, addressing the Alphas. "I present the accused, Harper Lee Donovan."
There was a long pause when everyone looked at me expectantly. I thought about mentioning my lack of Shifter etiquette training, but decided keeping my mouth shut was probably the best idea.
"Will you not bow before us?" Stefan asked, all holier-than-thou.
"Sorry, I didn't know I was supposed to." Not really knowing how to bow since I'm a God fearing American, I sort of awkwardly dipped my head and shoulders. My efforts got me a narrowed eyed glare from Sarvarna and a look of exasperation from Stefan.
"Would the accuser please come forward?" My eyes naturally darted over to Mr. Matthews, but he wasn't the one who answered Stefan's summons.
"My Alphas," Mrs. Matthews said, dropping to one knee beside me.
For a single second the world went completely still and silent for me. One second of stunned peace. And then a rage fueled by exquisite pain engulfed me. It was a good thing my hands were bound and the two much bigger Shifters had a hold on me, because my body wasn't my own for several long minutes. The wolf woke, and she wanted blood.
"Seer Matthews of the Hagan Pack," Stefan intoned. "You have a claim to make against this girl."
"I do, Polemarch." Her back stayed ramrod straight, her voice didn't betray even the hint of a quiver, and her eyes stayed resolutely trained on the man in front of her. There was no indication, not even the smallest of hints, that she felt any regret for handing over a child she once hugged and cuddled over to the proverbial wolves. "I have witnessed this girl, who does not come from Shifter blood, Change. Such an unnatural act could only be accomplished by a Thaumaturgic."
Stefan leaned forward ever so slightly. "This is a very serious accusation. Are you certain you want to proceed?"
"Absolutely," she said with zero hesitation.
"And you understand the punishment that will be met if she is found guilty?" Stefan's reluctance seemed genuine, which was more than a little unexpected.
"I do, and I do not wish to retract my claim."
"She was once a babe under your care, was she not?"
Mrs. Matthews's voice finally shook, but not with the emotion I originally expected. "And I pray every single day that God will forgive me for being led astray by this devil."
I heard a small gasp and didn't have to turn around to know its origin. Talley was as horrified by the words coming out of her mother's mouth as I was. Knowing Talley, she was possibly even more horrified than me. At least I expected people to be selfish and weak minded. She honestly believed everyone was good and strove to do what was right. To hear her mother speak with such vile and hatred probably turned her entire world view upside down.
"You are a woman of great faith," Sarvarna said. "May God hear your prayers with a gracious ear."
Mrs. Matthews once again dropped to the ground. "Thank you for your kindness, your Highness."
Since I couldn't bear to look at her groveling, I took the opportunity to scan the rest of the Alpha Pack. On the Shifter side, Mandla and Hashim both looked like trained soldiers ready to leap up and protect their Alphas at the first sign of trouble while Travis was somewhere in between ready to attack and ready to take a nap. The Seers, on the other hand, were all over the place. Lizzie was fidgety. She would cross and uncross her legs, and then do it all over again. I was pretty sure all her fingernails were already gnawed to bits, but her fingers stayed in her mouth all the same. She seemed even more spastic because she was sitting next to the cool and collected Mischa, who managed to look even more regal than Sarvarna with her perfect posture and detached interest. True sat next to her, the princess to Mischa's Czarina. The way she relaxed into her chair and regarded the audience as if they were sent to amuse her, but were failing miserably, spoke of a lifetime of pampering and entitlement.
Somehow, seeing their detachment made it easier to push back the wolf and even gain a bit of distance myself. After all, getting overly emotional and flipping out wasn't going to help anything. I might as well try to enjoy the show.
Of course, that proved difficult once Mrs. Matthews straightened back up and started answering the Alphas' questions. My mother died during childbirth, and my only knowledge of her came from stories other people told me. Since no one is going to say something bad about your dead mama, she was the very definition of perfection in my head. I liked it that way, which meant I was not at all fond of Mrs. Matthews referring to her as a "manipulative witch who sacrificed herself for the advancement of her people's ungodly doctrine."
Once Mrs. Matthews finished her account of my life --- from unholy birth to murdering a Shifter so I could steal his essence to spiriting away the most promising of the Hagan Pack by playing on their emotions --- the Alphas turned their attention to the members of my Pack.
"I would like to know what Hoplite Hagan, the young Seer Matthews, and Potential Donovan witnessed during their time with Miss Donovan post-Change," Stefan said.
Mrs. Matthews sat down, and the three people I was closest to in the whole world came forward. Talley managed to trip on the leg of a chair as she came up, catching herself on my shoulder. The contact was brief, but just long enough for her to send three images through the bond - A truck. A gate. A barn.
"Seer Matthews, let's begin with you." Stefan flashed Talley a mangled smile. "Has Miss Donovan attempted to pull information about the whereabouts of other Shifters or how to contact the Alpha Pack?"
"No, sir."
"When she Changes, can you hear her as you can a real Shifter?"
A real Shifter? Could I object?
"Yes, sir."
"Are you able to See her as you are others?"
"Yes, sir."
Stefan did that slight lean forward thing again. "And, tell me, Seer Matthews, what is it you See when you touch her?"
Talley's fingers went to her hair, making my stomach clench. "Well, my ability isn't very strong. I only get a bit of what the other person is feeling, but she was genuinely confused and scared after her first Change. And I've never felt any ill will from her at all."
Speaking of confusion, I had a major dose of it. Why would Talley lie about her abilities? She was like the freaking Seer Golden Child. I couldn't understand her subterfuge until I heard the sigh of relief from Lizzie and saw the smirk on True's face. Talley wanted to stay off the other's radar, not be seen as a threat. I imagined how "you can call me Your Highness" would react to finding out there was a Seer more powerful than she was.
There was a reason I always said Talley was the smartest person I knew.
"Tell me," her royal evilness said, "would you confess to Seeing no ill will in the devil himself if he was standing here?"
"Excuse me?"
Sarvarna screwed up her face into a condescending smile. "Oh, I didn't mean it as admonishment." And I was in the running for the Heisman Trophy. "I was simply alluding to your exceptionally altruistic personality. I wouldn't doubt you could find the good in even the most putrid of souls."
"I know evil when I See it."
Stop it! I mentally screamed at Talley. Don't provoke her, you crazy girl.
Sarvarna kept going as if she didn't register the insult. "But would you in a person you had grown alongside your whole life? Would you recognize evil in your best friend?"
"Scout isn't evil!"
Sarvarna started to say something, but Stefan put a hand on her knee, silencing her. "I think Seer Matthews has told us all she can," he said. "Hoplite Hagan, are you prepared to testify?"
Charlie bowed his head, his eyes closed. "With all due respect, I have forfeit my life to the accused. It is against our custom for me to speak for or against her."
No one seemed to know how to respond to that. Sarvarna wrinkled her eyebrows at Stefan, and Lizzie whispered "Is that true?" so loudly to Mischa everyone in the room heard.
"You are truly a noble Shifter," Stefan finally said. "What a better world it would be if everyone had your knowledge of our customs and the honor to adhere to them."
Charlie dipped slightly lower before rising back up to his full height.
Stefan templed his fingers together. "I suppose that leaves you, Potential Donovan. Are you capable of speaking without prejudice about your sister?"
Jase's eyes met mine, and I felt the rusty knife he'd shoved into my back twist. "She isn't my sister."
I decided right then and there that Sarvarna would die for the smug smile spreading across her face.
Never once did Jase lie during his testimony. Instead, he gave the truthful answers of a person willing to please. Was the late Mrs. Donovan a Thaumaturgic? He didn't know, but her parents did wield a great deal of power in the human world. Was the accused's Changes normal? They followed the pull of the moon and caused the same amount of pain, but the speed with which it was accomplished was shocking. Over and over again he stated the facts in a way that suggested I might be what they accused me of being. And over and over again my heart broke.
When the Alphas finally grew tired of using Jase to torment me, they allowed the three of them to sit down.
"Does anyone else wish to speak before we make our ruling?" Stefan asked in a tone suggesting it was the same type of rhetorical remark as the "speak now or forever hold your peace" part of a wedding ceremony.
Toby, being Toby, ignored the implied sentiment and stood up. "I would like to address the council, if I may."
"Come forward, Tagmatarchis Hagan."
Toby walked forward, did the whole bow thing, and then took a deep breath before speaking. "I offer myself as a guardian for this girl." He took another deep breath and his hands shook. "I will take her under my care and my watch, alerting the Alphas to any questionable behavior. I am willing to forfeit my life should she harm another Shifter in any way."
Of all the things said over the course of the evening, it was Toby's words, said with a tremor of nerves and fear, that almost brought me to tears.
"No," Sarvarna said without even the pretense of thinking it over. "You have shown poor judgement where this girl has been concerned from the beginning. Instead of turning her over to us the moment you knew of her unnatural abilities, you gave her a territory of her own. You are too emotionally attached to operate as a fit Pack Leader in this regard. So, no. We will not allow her to be taken under your watch. I do not wish to wake up dead by her hand, thank you very much."
"How do you wake up dead?" Thankfully, I muttered it softly enough Stefan had to ask, "What was that?"
I cleared my throat and opened my mouth. When nothing but a creak came out, I did the whole throat clearing thing again. "I was just asking if I get to speak in my defense."
Sarvarna flipped a strand of hair back over her shoulder. "We really aren't interested in anything you have to say, Thaumaturgic."
"What was the point of all this?" My voice was eerily calm considering the havoc taking place on my insides. "To humiliate me? To break me down just to watch me crumble?" I took a deep breath and pulled back my shoulders, refusing to fall apart for them. "This was never a trial to see if I was guilty or innocent. It was a show, your own freaking Hunger Games orchestrated to prove your power while entertaining the privileged. Well, no more. I'm done. Pass the flippin' poisoned berries."
The look the Alpha Female threw my way was normally reserved for crazy street people. "Poisoned berries? Am I supposed to know what you're referring to?"
Only if you're literate. "Sentence me. Now."
Sarvarna stood. After a barely perceptible sigh, Stefan followed her. "You know," she said, "this could have gone differently."
"How?"
"You could've begged. Groveled. You could have petitioned another Pack. I'm sure the Matthews would have found a use for you." I shuddered at the thought. "But no, you had to stand there as if you deserve our mercy. You spoke as if you were not only our equal, but superior in some way." She slinked towards me, stopping at what would have been just out of my reach if I had use of my hands. "You've shown us your soul tonight, and it is not one that can co-exist with the Shifters and Seers of this world. Therefore, to protect those under my care, you are sentenced to death."
I knew it was coming, had known it was coming for weeks, but still my knees turned to jelly and my heart exploded in my chest. Bob and Cory barely managed to keep me from hitting the ground.
I wasn't the only one having a bit of a reaction. There was a lot of muttering and movement going on around me, but no single voice broke through my haze of complete and utter panic. I was completely cut off from my surroundings until someone prodded me forward.
"Where are we going?" I asked... Travis? Yes, Travis was the person with one hand around my upper arm and the other pushing on my lower back.
"This ain't the US penal system, sweetheart. We follow through with our sentences rather quickly."
"What? Now? You're going to kill me now?" Fresh panic flooded my mouth with a metallic tang. "I don't get to say goodbye?"
His eyes, which I once found mildly attractive, reflected nothing. "Nope, but they're letting your boyfriend go along for the show since he has that life debt and all. He can't be executed in your stead, but it does allow him to be with you when you die."
Oh God. Charlie was going to have to witness this? "No, I don't want him there." He would break for real this time.
"Sorry, cupcake. Your opinion no longer matters."
In the end it was Travis, Hashim, Mandla, Stefan, Sarvarna, Bob, and Charlie who walked with me out into the moonless summer night. Rocco and Cory stayed behind to "protect the Seers".
The path we took led up from the lake into acres upon acres of untamed forest. There was only enough room for two people to walk side by side, so we created a bizarre parade. I was trapped in the middle with Travis at my side, his fingers leaving bruises on my arm. The other two higher ranking Shifters sandwiched us, Mandla in front and Hashim close on our heels. Bob and Sarvarna brought up the rear while Charlie and Stefan led the way. Pieces of their conversation floated back to me. From what I could catch, Stefan was offering Charlie a spot in the Alpha Pack.
When the path finally stopped in a freshly made clearing I thought perhaps it was some elaborate and unfunny practical joke.
"That's a guillotine," I said eyeing the blade swinging ever so slightly above the wooden base. Where did someone buy a giant blade like that?
"Always so clever," Sarvarna said from the tree line.
"Always so bitchy," I replied. A slap jerked my head back, but it was worth it, especially since I knew Mandla would have a sore hand from the impact with my teeth. Plus, it snapped me out of my fog.
"You know..." I paused to spit blood out of my mouth. "This whole executing a witch thing? You're doing it wrong. There should be a stake and fire. Or maybe some rope and a deep river. You could have even pressed me with heavy rocks and still been keeping with tradition, but a guillotine? That screams more French Revolution than Salem Witch Trials."
A sneer doesn't look good on anyone, but when someone of Sarvarna's unquestionable beauty tries one on they manage to transform from the most attractive person in the room to the most beastly. "I can't wait to watch your head roll."
"Which is why you will not." Stefan stepped between us, his back to me. "You're going back to be with the others."
"Noooo!" Sarvarna managed to turn the word into about fifteen syllables. The look she gave Stefan was one of a teenager to her father instead of a woman to her husband. "I want to watch her die."
"Absolutely not. Life is sacred. No matter her crimes, Harper deserves to leave this world with dignity." When she opened her mouth to say something, probably about my dignity or lack thereof, he stopped her by raising his hand. "You're not degrading her final moments." There was no doubt that was the final word on the matter. "Bob, please escort her back to the others."
The Shifter didn't looked thrilled at the idea of herding his queen back through the forest, but he followed orders, even when Sarvarna pulled out of his grasp, announcing she could walk just fine on her own. We all stood around and watched them leave, no one moving or saying anything until they were long gone. Stefan was the first to break the silence.
"I am sorry," he said, and for some reason I believed him. "She is still young and does not understand the tragedy of a life ended. It is a kind of innocence I want her to keep a while longer."
While I didn't doubt his regret for the pre-death cat fight, I wasn't so sure of Sarvarna's innocence. My knowledge of tragedy and loss began on the day I was born, but I would bet good money I was more innocent than the chick who seduced a man at least twice her age. That slanky bitch possessed a wicked soul.
"You want to protect the young, but you're still going to Marie Antoinette me, right?"
Stefan's heavy hand rested on my shoulder. "To protect our young, I must." His eyes looked curiously wet as he dropped his voice. "I honestly believe you don't know what you are and never meant to cause harm, but I can't risk being wrong. Sometimes individual sacrifices must be made for the well-being of many."
My throat closed up, choking off the ability to speak. Not that I knew what I would say to that. Somehow it didn't feel like a victory to have Stefan on my side if I was going to go ahead and die anyway.
"Charles," Stefan said to the boy who hovered closer than any of the others, "would you like a moment to say goodbye?"
Charlie's thank you was low-pitched and gravely as he came forward, yet there were no tears in his brilliant green eyes. His hand went around to clasp the back of my neck, pulling my forehead forward to touch his.
"Be strong, be courageous, and do not be afraid."
"Ummm... Isn't that a church song?"
A raise of eyebrows. "Seemed appropriate."
"Take care of them, okay?" I didn't need to tell him who they were. He knew me as well I knew him. "They'll need you, not Zombie Charlie." The forehead against mine bobbed slightly. "I need to you promise, Charlie. Promise me you won't go all silent and disconnected again."
"I promise."
This time it was my forehead doing the bobbing thing.
No one interrupted as we stood there, taking warmth and comfort from each other for the last time. The thumb of Charlie's free hand, the one not still attached to the back of my neck, traced my bottom lip. It was soon replaced by his lips. It was a soft and sweet kiss, but not one of lovers. It was two friends who existed together for so long they were woven into the fabric of each other's very soul saying goodbye. Then I was being pulled into a hug so ferocious I couldn't breath.
"See the tree straight ahead with a knot in it?" Nothing more than a breath against my ear. I found the gnarled trunk and nodded. "Run that way as fast as you can."
And then Charlie released me so quickly I almost fell onto the ground. I don't know when he'd grabbed the gun, but he managed to fire off two shots before Hashim tackled him.
A half a heartbeat later, I was grabbed from behind, two arms the size of my thighs wrapping around my waist. Something deeper and more primal than the instinct of a fighter had me wrapping a leg around to jerk my foot against the back of an ankle as my head slammed back to crush a nose but finding a throat instead.
This time I did tumble to the ground upon being released. Thanks to the handcuffs, my fall was broken by my already sore face. I had to force my eyes open against the pain. When I did, I found the world awash in muted colors.
I felt instead of saw Travis coming at me again and rolled over. Rocking back to gain momentum, I sprang up to meet him face to face. The move wasn't anything I could have done as a normal human girl, no matter the amount of training, but the wolf was running the show at this point. And unlike when she skirmished with Jase, she was fighting for her life.
Travis threw a punch, but I darted to the left just in time to save my jaw from being shattered into a million little bits. The next one, however, landed in my lower ribs. The kick to my hip also managed to connect, and with it I went flying backwards. I fell hard on my hands, an audible snap letting me know at least one bone was broken. Then a booted foot slammed into my side. The pain was so intense, I blacked out.
When I swam back to consciousness, Travis was no longer standing over me. I knew my thumb was broken, if not literally crushed, and at least a few of my ribs were also no longer in one piece. I was outnumbered and in handcuffs. And if I did manage to win this fight, then what? There was still a building full of Shifters who thought me a traitor, and there was no doubt the rest of the Alpha Pack, who was holding down the fort in Romania, would come after me like the pack of wild dogs they were under a full moon. It was a hopeless situation, one I had no chance of coming through alive.
But then I found a reason to keep fighting. He was holding his own between three of the most lethal Shifters in the world, moving with such grace it was hard not to just stare in awe. I might have still given up if hope hadn't come in the form of a scent on the wind.
I tugged on my handcuffs, trying not to draw the attention of the men fighting Charlie. My broken thumb made them loose, but not quite enough to pull my hand free. Convincing myself the pain would be bearable, I pulled against the metal with my preternatural strength, breaking the knuckle of my pinky finger and pulling my hand through. Somehow, I managed to stay conscious as I pulled myself up with considerable effort.
The trek, however, garnered the attention of the Shifter who still saw himself as being on Scout Duty. Travis came at me full force. As his fist slammed out, I stepped forward, sweeping by his outstretched body. The gun came out of its holster with ease, although I almost lost it when an elbow planted into my stomach.
The next thirty seconds went by at the speed of light, yet I was able to take in every action - My finger squeezing the trigger. Travis's body jerking from the impact before crumbling to the ground. The gray wolf launching itself over his fallen body and onto Hashim, who had come up behind me without my knowledge. Hashim and the wolf plowing into the earth. The wolf ripping out all the important stuff in Hashim's throat with one quick bite. The sound of a snap that had me turning to see Charlie releasing Mandla's head, which was now attached to his neck at a completely wrong angle.
We were all covered in blood. I could taste it on my mouth, which was probably as stained as the wolf's. Charlie looked like the lone survivor of a zombie movie, the simple white button-up shirt he'd worn for the trial half untucked, ripped in various places, and sporting more than one red stain. His face was bruised, his arm bore deep gashes, and I felt certain his left leg was broken, but he was still standing.
It didn't seem possible, but the ground was littered with the bodies of the Alpha Pack's elite, and Charlie was still standing.
"Go," he demanded the moment our eyes met. "Get out of here."
"Stefan is still alive." I could hear his wet respirations and slowing heartbeat.
"Not for long." He looked towards the trail, obviously hearing the same thing I did. "Dammit, Scout, they're coming. Don't make this be for nothing. Go!"
That is what got me to move. Not the sound of the others rushing to scene. Not the wolf, who was butting his head against my leg and growling at me to get moving. No, it was Charlie telling me to not let all this blood be spilled for nothing. With one last look over my shoulder, I took off through the forrest, a gray wolf at my heels, refusing to slow down, even when the sound a gun echoed through the night.
\*\*\*
The truck was parked where the trees met a large overgrown field. It was a monstrous affair with a full size cab and more wheels than any vehicle not hauling mass quantities of goods cross-the country needed. I jerked open the driver's door with my good hand. The wolf bolted into the back seat, and after three attempts, I pulled myself into the driver's seat.
Driving a vehicle that big across a field filled with holes and ruts isn't easy for a Prius owner on the best of days, but having the use of only one hand made it near impossible. I breathed a sigh of relief when not only did I make it to the road, but I even knew where we were.
The drive should have taken twenty minutes, but I didn't know how likely it was someone was following, so we made it in twelve. The gate Talley showed me was distinctive, and one I knew well. The ostentatious thing with tons of curlicues and an "R" proudly displayed in the middle came from some rich guy's house when he bought a fancy electric deal to replace them with. The discarded gates now kept trespassers from using an old access road for a local fuel company. However, the company's general manager was one of Mom's brothers, and he'd shown us how to jimmy the lock open so Dad could use the car-free stretch to teach all of us - Jase, Charlie, Talley, and me - how to drive.
Despite my rush, I redid the lock after driving the truck through, hoping to delay anyone who came looking for us. My eyes strayed to the backseat as I jogged back. The sight of a sun-kissed shoulder had me looking away quickly, my cheeks ablaze.
My eyes watered as I drove over a mile to my next location. The fumes had always been awful, but with my Shifter senses they were nearly unbearable. I found the barn, which wasn't really a barn but an old office, near the base of one of the fifty-foot high tanks containing fuel that would be hauled down the river on barges. The back of the building had a garage type place, probably where they'd parked gas trucks at one point in history. There was already an older four-door sedan of some sort parked inside. I pulled up next to it and cut the engine.
"Are they following us?" I asked.
"They will be."
"The gas. It's to cover our scent, right?"
"Hopefully."
I took a deep breath. Turning off the truck felt like a conclusion, as if the chaos was over, but I knew it had only just begun. "So, what do we do now?"
Liam's grey eyes met mine in the review mirror. "Now we try to outrun fate."
Thanks goes out to Crystal, Jennifer, Alyson & Erin for reading early copies and helping me and Scout find our way; the Beta Fish (Emily D, Emily M, Jake, Kathryn, Meg, Rachel, Tori, & Victoria) for their insights and enthusiasm; the Florida Crew (Crystal, Jason, Jennifer, Becky, Dusty, Corinne, Shauna, Matthew, Ben, and Brady) for letting me do the hermit writer thing on vacation; Ben, the world's youngest writing coach, for that oh-so-enlightening episode of Fish Hooks; Dr. Joe for always answering my random science related questions and doing so in a way I can actually understand; Brandon for making sure Scout and company knows how to kick ass; and most of all my family, who has been supportive and encouraging, even when I slide off the deep end on occasion. To everyone who read Destiny Binds and wrote a review on Amazon, Goodreads, their blog, or anywhere else on the Inner-Webs, I adore you. Thank you all so much for reading!
Scout's story concludes in Fall 2012\*
with Fate Succumbs.
\*Projected release date subject to change.
For more information, please visit
About the Author
Tammy Blackwell is a Young Adult Services Coordinator for a public library system in Kentucky. When she's not reading, writing, cataloging, or talking about YA books, she's sleeping. You can follow her on Twitter (@Miss\_Tammy), write to her at tammyblackwell.ya@gmail.com, or visit her at www.misstammywrites.blogspot.com.
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