
Unnecessary Roughness
G.A. Hauser
UNNECESSARY ROUGHNESS
Copyright © G.A. Hauser, 2009
Cover art by Stephanie Vaughan
Edited by Nicole Bunting
ISBN Trade paperback:
The G.A. Hauser Collection
This is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or business establishments, events or locales is coincidental.
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WARNING
This book contains material that maybe offensive to some:
graphic language, homosexual relations, adult situations.
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First G.A. Hauser publication: October 2009
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A percentage of the royalties of this novel will be donated to the charity Gay American Heroes. Thank you for giving.
Mission Statement
 To honor and remember LGBT victims of hate crimes.
 To engage and inform the public about hate crimes against LGBT persons.
 To inspire compassion and greater appreciation and acceptance of diversity.
What is the Gay American Heroes Foundation?
The Gay American Heroes Foundation is creating a National Traveling Rainbow Memorial and Educational Exhibit celebrating the lives of all LGBT persons who have been murdered because of their sexual orientation and /or gender identity.
They are Heroes
All People who live honestly about their sexual orientation are heroic, as it takes great strength and courage to face the daily struggles for personal freedom in the face of enormous opposition; to ultimately give their life for said freedom makes them HEROES.
"It's time to show the world...our HEROES...because our family and friends are being stolen from us because of hate and those who teach it. We should not, and will not, live in fear. We will face the ongoing violence against Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender people head on and fight those who want to enslave us in their beliefs. So, until we are given the same rights, freedoms, and protections as every other American, we will be united in this fight for respect, dignity, and protections under the law. We will win this fight through awareness, education, and perseverance for the good of all humanity."
Scott Hall
Founder, Gay American Heroes Foundation
Scott Hall definition of hate,
June 8th 2009
What is your definition of Hate?
Hate is poison, and those who teach it are poisonous, and need to be held accountable for their teaching and insidious actions.
The same hate that Murdered
Martin Luther King
Is the same hate that Murdered
Mathew Sheppard,
And is the same hate that Murdered our fellow Americans in 911,
Hate is un-American and unacceptable.
Please help stop the Hate.
Honor our HEROES
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RAINBOW MEMORIAL
www.RainbowMemorial.org
www.GayAmericanHeroes.com
Connor Andrew Worthington knew from an early age he was different from other boys.
The enormous campus of UCLA was a maze to Connor the first time he tried to navigate it in his freshman year. Now, three years later, he knew this place by heart.
He was cutting it close after a workout at the Wooden Center and jogged with his backpack across Bruin Walk. "Fuck," he said, wishing he had more time. The rushing around to find time for his training was exhausting. He passed through the door of the math and science building, catching his breath.
"Connor? You have a second?"
Connor spun around to see one of his instructors flagging him down. "What's up, Professor? I'm running late."
Professor Patrick glanced quickly over his shoulder as the classroom cleared. "I know you're very busy with a full academic schedule and lacrosse..."
Unsure where this conversation was headed, Connor concentrated on the short man's thinning hair and small moustache.
"We have some students in the class that need extra help. They meet once a week with the physics club. I was wondering if you had any time to help out."
Thinking of his already loaded schedule and the pressure from his dad to get a four-point-oh average, Connor replied, "I don't know, sir."
Professor Patrick stepped closer to him, staring at Connor's chest. "I know it's a lot to ask of you. But you're doing excellent. I thought perhaps you can assist the students who aren't doing as well."
"Do you need me to tutor someone in particular?" Connor touched his lower lip. "Can I think about it and get back to you?"
"Sure, Connor. If you can help me out, I'll make sure your grade reflects the extra effort." Professor Patrick smiled and laid his hand on Connor's biceps, squeezing it firmly.
Connor stared at the contact with suspicion. It wasn't the first time someone had made "promises" to him in order to get sexual favors. "If I can't fit it into my schedule, will I get graded down?"
"No, I won't hold it against you. Of course not." Professor Patrick's fingers smoothed up and down Connor's arm. Connor was getting the feeling the friendly gesture was something else. Being propositioned upset Connor. "Right, then I'll let you know."
Professor Patrick dropped his hand to his side and smiled. "Thanks, I appreciate it."
"See ya." As Connor left, he mumbled under his breath, "What the hell was that all about? Can't I get through one fucking semester without a come on?" He was hoping it was about tutoring and that was all. But he knew better.
Just making it to his seat before the lecture began, Connor tried to remember his assignments for all the other classes he had later in the week. They were starting to accumulate and he didn't want any of the work interfering with his first love: lacrosse. It was January and that meant the beginning of the season.
"Hi, Connor."
He glanced over at the woman seated next to him and said, "Hi, Mary."
"Did you finish the reading assignment?"
"Yes. I thought it was pretty interesting. I liked the part about axioms and the scientific model."
"Huh?"
"Never mind. Class is starting." He pointed to the front of the room where his teacher was standing.
~
Connor packed away his book while his mind ran over the amount of reading he had to do by the end of the week. He checked the clock. Lunchtime.
Mary lingered next to him. "Do you have plans for lunch, Connor?"
"Sorry. I'm meeting someone," he lied, just wanting to eat quickly and not sit and chat.
"Oh. Too bad."
Connor shrugged politely to soften the blow.
After she left, he finished packing up his notebook. Christ, I don't have time for this. The workload loomed ominously and his father's threats to cut him off financially if his grades faltered was monumental pressure.
As he was preparing to leave the classroom, zipping up his backpack, he noticed a pair of shapely legs in pantyhose and high heels standing next to him. He glanced up at his hot biology teacher and exhaled tiredly. Oh no.
"Can I speak to you for a minute, Connor?" Professor Jacobs asked.
"Sure." He dropped his book bag at his feet and crossed his arms over his chest. He had a feeling this would happen. Yes, he was sitting in the front row, but Professor Jacobs had stared at him through her entire lecture.
The room emptied quickly around them as the students rushed to grab food in the break between classes. Connor needed to be one of those rushing students.
She walked to the back wall and closed the door, waiting until the last student was gone, then leaned against a desk. "I know you're very busy with all your studies, Connor."
He had flashbacks to Professor Patrick's chat. "Professor Jacobs, I don't have time for extra work. I'm already fully loaded with credits and sports."
"I know." She ran her hand down his chest seductively.
He stared at her fire-cracker red nails and cringed. He'd been fighting to "come out" without it ruining his life. Acting straight was exhausting and killing him.
When he didn't respond, she gazed into his eyes.
Oh crap. Feeling the impending proposition as he studied her pink lipstick and long dark hair, Connor closed his eyes. Why me?
"Connor Worthington, whatever will I do with you?" She fingered his bangs.
"Look, Professor Jacobs, I appreciate the compliment. But---"
She wrapped her arms around him and went for his lips. He blinked in surprise and nudged her back. "Look, how can I put this politely? I can't. I'm sorry."
Instantly she appeared embarrassed and backed off. "I just thought---"
"It's my fault. I must have given you the wrong idea." Connor knew he had done nothing to encourage these advances but dreaded failing a class for deflecting a proposition.
"My mistake." She stepped back and pretended to fix her hair.
"Sorry." Moving slowly to escape from what felt like a snare, Connor raised his backpack to his shoulder and slipped out of the classroom. After he was outside in the fresh air, he shook his head in annoyance and walked to the Bruin café to get something to eat. Mother-fucker! What the hell am I? A walking sex toy?
~
Kyle William Baker showed up for the first day of lacrosse practice a new transfer student from the University of Oregon. A Duck now wearing a Bruin uniform. Playing midfield, he ran across the intramural field as another teammate tossed the ball. He caught it in the webbing, passing it a few times as he looked over the choice of potential players.
It was cool and brilliantly sunny out. Not a cloud floated past in the clear blue sky. A few men were running wind-sprints up and down the length of the field. Some were sitting on the trimmed green sod, stretching their legs while a few more were throwing the ball back and forth, attackers in training, whipping it at the goalie.
Kyle smiled. He loved this sport. He was getting ready for his final year in undergraduate studies, deciding on whether to continue on to graduate school. Yes, he had a full credit load of classes, but there was always time for lacrosse as far as he was concerned.
He scanned the empty bleachers and field happily as he stretched out his back muscles using the crosse, holding it behind his head. One of the men running wind-sprints caught his eye. His brown mane flowed out from behind his lacrosse helmet. He was the only one of the guys practicing out the field with hair that long. Other than his hair, he was certainly all man. He was tall. Kyle assumed he was about his own height, six-foot-one or two, and slender, but very muscular.
Shielding his eyes from the bright sunlight, Kyle walked closer to him for a better look.
The man ran two more times with another team member, beating the other man every time. Finally both men stood to catch their breaths and stretch their leg muscles. It was the chance Kyle needed to get a better look at this long-haired man's face through the face mask and chin pad.
He felt his mid-section go into a deep flutter. "Holy crap," he mumbled under his breath.
The guy was so incredibly pretty at first glance he looked like a woman. Under closer inspection Kyle could see the man's dark shadow of one day's beard growth on his sharply angled jaw. His padded shoulders were broad and straight.
Instantly hard under his uniform pants, Kyle licked his lips hungrily and panned down to ogle the man's narrow hips and long, solid legs. The cup bulge in his crotch was imposing. Kyle swallowed down a dry throat as he imagined fucking or sucking this creature. Oh, he is too much!
The head coach called them all to gather around. Kyle deliberately positioned himself behind the handsome man to check out his ass and tanned legs. His butt was tight and perfectly rounded in his gold lacrosse uniform. The urge to run his palms over those gorgeous cheeks was almost impossible to fight. Scooting closer, Kyle allowed himself to brush against it with the back of his gloved hand.
At the touch, the man glanced over his shoulder at him. To Kyle's surprise, he received a warm, affectionate smile and got a good look at shining sky blue eyes. Immediately Kyle returned the friendly smile, growing so excited he had to cross his hands over his crotch to hide his erection even though it was occurring under a cup. In the tight circle of men, Kyle overheard another teammate whisper into this man's ear, "Connor, what'd the coach just say?"
Connor. Kyle salivated, wanting to be the one comfortable enough to whisper in his ear.
Kyle couldn't keep his eyes off of him. When he got the chance, Kyle managed to stand near Connor as they waited their turn on the field. Feeling slightly intimidated by this man, Kyle cleared his throat nervously. When it caught Connor's attention, Kyle extended his hand. "Hi, I'm Kyle Baker."
Connor took the mouthpiece he was gnawing out of his teeth. "Connor Worthington." He reached for Kyle with his free hand.
Kyle removed his glove and shook it firmly.
The contact of their palms set Kyle's body on fire. He couldn't get over the raw sexuality oozing out of his man. "Look at this day. Isn't it fantastic? Perfect for lacrosse."
"Yes, perfect."
"Are you a senior?" Kyle leaned close enough for a sniff at Connor's scent.
"Yes, thank fuck. One more year of this torture." Connor laughed shyly. "How about you?"
Kyle didn't get the chance to reply.
"Shit! I'm up!" Connor stuffed his mouthpiece into his teeth and sprinted onto the field.
Trying to control the desire to hump him like a dog in heat, Kyle leaned against his stick, using it to prop him up, completely infatuated with Connor. He wondered if he...could possibly be... Nah.
Looking relaxed and confident, Connor, an attackman, quickly gained control of the ball and avoided an aggressive cross before whipping the ball into the net past the goalie to score.
With no boasting of any kind at the feat, Connor left the field as the coach waved him off.
Once Connor took his mouthpiece out, he nudged Kyle, "Coach is waving you in. Your turn."
Lost in his awe of Connor, Kyle came back into focus and pushed his mouth guard in, racing out to the field.
~
Kyle searched for him through the chaotic mass of half-naked male bodies in the locker room while he quickly undressed at his locker A loud commotion caught his attention. He spotted Connor getting teased as he walked by a group of his teammates while he headed to the shower. Kyle was slightly shocked at the homophobic overtones of the taunting.
"Nice hair, Worthington!"
"You get your nails polished too?"
"You hang out in West Hollywood at night, Connor?"
Geez! Kyle cringed.
It appeared Connor was playing the good sport, a tiny white towel wrapped around his narrow hips, the blush hot in his cheeks. "All right. Leave me alone, you dumb jocks."
Watching Connor walk, Kyle was in heat, his mouth actually watering at the sight. It was so fricken' obvious that all those macho men needed an excuse to toy with Connor. Or at least Kyle hoped it was good-natured.
Kyle lost himself on the lovely bronze color of Connor's skin, his round, smooth, solid completely hairless chest. The guy looked like a model. Jesus, what, twenty years old? And absolutely perfect.
Wanting to see this man in all his glory, Kyle stripped the pads and sweaty uniform off quickly and grabbed a towel. So what if I have a hard on? It happens to guys all the time, right?
Connor hung the white terry cloth on a hook and tested the water as it burst out of a shower head coming from of a wall of spigots. Kyle hung his towel on the spot next to Connor and reached to do the same. While Connor was wetting down, Kyle thought he may spontaneously combust at the sight.
He kept trying to get a good look at Connor's cock without being seen doing so. When he finally was granted a full frontal view he moaned before he could prevent it.
Running the soap over his arms, Connor smiled sweetly at Kyle. "Hey, Kyle. Looks like we have an excellent team this season."
With his face on fire from his attraction, Kyle was trying to hide his erection. "Yeah, we look really good. Beats playing in high school."
"What position do you like best?"
Kyle froze and his eyes widened in shock.
As if he were confused by the reaction, Connor stopped soaping up and stared at him curiously. "Hello?"
"What position do I like?" Kyle gaped at him in disbelief. Could I be this lucky? This hunk is gay and propositioning me? Holy crap!
Tilting his head, Connor shouted over the echoing noise to clarify, "Yes. I assume you were a midfieldman in high school too. No? Defense? What?" Connor continued washing and shook his head. "What did you think I meant? Where did I lose you?"
Kyle exhaled when he realized his mistake. "Oh, I thought you meant...never mind. Yes. I played midfield."
Connor nodded and continued washing.
Disappointed by the confused communication, Kyle rinsed the soap off quickly when he realized Connor was done. "You're amazing out there, Connor," Kyle complimented him. "You're one of the best players on the team."
Connor connected with his eyes instantly. "You think so?"
Kyle melted. Those irises were as blue as sapphires. Just shoot me now. "Yes."
"I thought the same about you, Kyle." Connor made sure he was soap free. They shut off the water simultaneously and reached for the towels.
Even though he was scared to death Connor would think he was hot for his bod, Kyle asked, "You wanna go out for a bite?"
Connor looked up at the large clock on the wall, as he rubbed the towel through his hair. "Sure. But it'll have to be quick one. I have a ton of reading to do. I guess I gotta eat, don't I?"
"Yes. A man can't live on lacrosse and academics alone," Kyle teased.
He received a nice smile in return.
~
They walked out to the parking lot silently. Kyle was deep in thought trying to decide if Connor could be gay or not. "Not" was winning his internal argument.
Connor gestured to his black MG. "You want me to drive us? Or follow me there?"
"You can drive, if that's okay. Sweet little car."
As Connor unlocked it, he replied, "Yeah, my first set of wheels. Thank you, Mother."
Kyle couldn't stop his heart from beating wildly as he sat next to this man.
Connor placed his sunglasses his face, then turned to Kyle and asked, "What's your pleasure?"
Again thinking of something overtly sexual, Kyle paled. "What?" My pleasure? Can I suck your big dick?
Connor lowered his glasses down his nose and peered over them. "Which restaurant? Bar? Why do I keep losing you?"
Chiding himself for behaving like an idiot, Kyle replied, "No. It's not you. I'm just exhausted. Uh, how about the sport's bar on Santa Monica Boulevard?"
"That'll work." Connor slid his Ray Bans back on his nose.
Kyle peeked at Connor's legs; solid and muscular in his tight jeans. Next, he found Connor's hand as it rested on the gear shift, finely boned, smooth skinned. His navy blue, sleeveless t-shirt was stretched taut across his broad rounded chest. Slowly Kyle raised his eyes to Connor's profile. It was perfect. His mouth started watering again. Connor was incredible. Absolutely amazing. How was Kyle supposed to control himself around this man?
Clearing his throat as if Kyle felt his silent appraisal, Connor turned to him. "So, tell me about yourself. What's your major?"
"I don't know. I'm just taking math and science classes hoping an idea strikes me."
"Ditto." Connor cringed. "The only thing worse than math and science would be law or medicine. Fucking sucks." After pulling out of traffic, Connor drove into the parking lot of the bar. "Are you in any of my classes?"
"I could be. Some of the lecture halls are so big, we probably are."
"We'll have to check our schedules. Now I'm curious why I've never seen you before."
Me too, you gorgeous fucker. "Well, I just transferred here from Oregon, but I've been here since the start of the semester."
Connor glanced again at Kyle over the top of his sunglasses.
Trying to stop acting like a schoolgirl with a crush, Kyle noticed someone pulling out of a parking space. "Look, an open spot."
Connor pulled in quickly. "Great. That was good luck."
"Yes. Today is my lucky day." Kyle grinned slyly to himself.
Once inside the dim interior of the bar, they found an unoccupied booth. Connor first slid his sunglasses to the top of his head, then as if reconsidering, he removed them and set them on the table. Kyle studied every move Connor made, watching him run his hands through that thick head of damp hair. Strangely enough, Kyle thought Connor's actions appeared self-conscious, not confident as Kyle would have expected with a man as talented, intelligent, and charming as Connor was.
The waitress came over and handed them menus. "You want something to drink first?"
Connor smiled at her sweetly. "How about something from the tap?"
Kyle was under twenty-one and assumed Connor might be as well. He waited for the inevitable request for proof of age and the denial of the alcoholic beverage.
The waitress went over the short list of beers on tap and Connor picked one. Kyle just nodded, same for him.
"You guys got ID?" She popped her chewing gum.
Connor gestured for her to come closer.
Put completely off guard, she smiled shyly and moved nearer to him. Connor whispered something in her ear. Suddenly she went beet red, giggled, and left.
Trying not to be jealous, Kyle rested his elbows on the table. "What did you say?"
"I told her if she was a good girl, she'd be rewarded."
"I hope you mean we'll give her a good tip."
"Huh?"
Slightly let down at Connor's sign that he was straight, Kyle couldn't prevent his pout. "You get away with a lot with women, don't you?"
"Get away with a lot?" Connor replied. "What do you mean?"
"Never mind. Do you have a girlfriend?" Kyle asked.
Before Kyle got his answer the beers were set before them. The young woman smiled dreamily at Connor and handed him a piece of paper. "Call me and I'll tell you what I want for my reward."
Connor let out a one syllable laugh and grinned invitingly at her. "Do you have a friend?" He gestured to Kyle. "We shouldn't leave my handsome friend out in the cold."
"You bet! When can we go out?"
Connor shrugged casually, the prefect gesture of indifference, and glanced over at Kyle. "You free this Saturday night? We have to take a break from the studies some time."
Unable to prevent his mouth from forming a frown, Kyle inspected the petite brunette. She was so cute he wanted to strangle her. "That depends."
Connor asked her, "Will your friend be as pretty as you?"
"Don't worry, she will be. What time?"
"Is seven okay with you, Kyle?" Connor whispered softly.
Kyle tried very hard not to grimace. "Sure, seven is fine."
As if just remembering, Connor read the slip of paper he was handed. "Hannah. Okay, Hannah. What's your friend's name?"
"Vicky. Oh, she will love you." She pointed at Kyle. "She adores jocks."
Connor muttered something under his breath.
As Kyle tried to figure out the missed comment, Connor said, "I'm Connor, and this 'jock' is Kyle."
"Hi. Write down your cell phone number for me." She went bright red as she handed Connor a pen and slip of paper. "I have to get back to the tables. You guys need another minute?"
Connor nodded, handed her his information, and she left. He raised his beer and sipped it, the foam leaving a trace on his lip. "A nice flirty waitress is always good for an under-twenty-one beer." Connor winked. "Down the hatch."
Kyle tried to stop watching Connor's tongue lick the foam off his lip. "Cheers." Kyle tapped Connor's beer mug with his own.
Connor reached across the table to him and touched his hand. "You okay about it? It was forward of me to make a double-date like that. Are you already going with someone? I didn't think to ask."
As the contact once again ignited his groin, Kyle stared down at Connor's hand before he met those brilliant blue irises. "No. I don't have a girlfriend," he breathed tiredly.
"Good." He raised his mug and gave Kyle a wicked smile. "Very good."
Hoping he was reading something else in his mischievous grin, Kyle couldn't help but return the demonic expression. "Connor Worthington, why do I have a feeling that life will be very interesting if I hang around with you?"
After taking a deep swallow of beer, Connor placed his mug down and stretched across the table to him. "Because, Kyle Baker, for the first time in my life I can almost taste freedom. One more year of college and I'm done. Do you have any idea what that freedom means to me?"
Loving them nose to nose, Kyle imagined a kiss as he leaned over the expanse of wood. "No, what does it mean, Connor?"
"It means that I will do as I please. No one will tell me what I can and cannot do any longer."
Tempted, so very tempted, Kyle wanted to contact those lush lips very badly. When Connor sat back and raised his mug once more, Kyle mirrored him. "Where are you living?" Kyle was mesmerized by Connor's mouth while he drank.
"Reiber Hall. It sucks. My roommate is a slob. I fucking hate it."
"You have a roommate?" Kyle blurted before he realized how stupid it sounded.
"Yes." Connor rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Big, fat, Baby Huey of a guy. Stuffs food into his face all night. I'm never there unless I have to be."
"I'm still in limbo trying to get settled in. I've been placed in temporary housing. Uh, do you want to try and find a small apartment off campus and live with me?"
Appearing very surprised at the invitation, Connor took a moment to answer. "Are you neat?"
Kyle laughed at the expression on Connor's face. "Yes."
"Great."
"Great?" Kyle felt his insides light on fire. You'll live with me? After knowing me one day? I'm ganna die!
Hannah returned with a dreamy smile on her lips. "Ready to order yet?"
Connor opened the menu quickly. "Veggie burger and fries." He closed it and handed it to her with a grin.
"Veggie burger?" Kyle scoffed. "Oh no, a carrot cruncher."
In response, Connor reached over the table and whacked his arm. "Shut up or I'll beat you."
"Oh baby! Is that a promise or a threat?" Kyle grew totally erect at the dirty talk.
Connor's eyes widened at the response. He blinked at Hannah and said, "He's already tormenting me and he's just met me. Go and get the 'jock' some meat."
Laughing, Hannah said "One meat and one veggie burger coming up." She took their menus and walked away.
Kyle stared at Connor in curious contemplation. Was he? The signals were all mixed up. No, he has to be straight. He is. This is just my wishful thinking, isn't it?
Connor downed the rest of his beer, tapped the table in front of Kyle, and sang out loudly, "Hellooooo? How is it I keep losing you? Am I boring you?"
Kyle snapped back to the present instantly. "A bore? Oh, uh, no, not even close. You are not boring, dear."
"Dear?" Connor laughed at him. "Okay, honey-bun."
"Shit! How the hell am I going to keep up with you? You make me feel like an idiot."
Connor's playful grin dropped.
It was an unexpected reaction and Kyle wondered why the light left his eyes. "What?"
"I'm sorry. You're not an idiot. You're very smart. I didn't mean to make you feel that way."
"Connor!" Kyle reached across the table to him. "I'm kidding."
Connor glanced down as his arm as Kyle squeezed it. "If I ever make you feel that way, for real, please tell me. I'll never do it again."
Before Kyle could reply to the odd statement their food arrived. They sat back and looked down at the plates.
As if flipping a switch, Connor regained his composure, smiled, and reached out to Hannah. "Thank you, sugarplum."
"You can thank me Saturday night!"
"Oh, I will. I promise." He winked as she skipped away.
Trying to ignore their playful banter, Kyle took a bite of his burger, staring at this confusing man as he did.
Connor ate a french fry and sighed loudly. "Sorry about the comment earlier. I get paranoid I'll turn into my old man. He's a fucking asshole. He calls me an idiot on a constant basis. So, if I do it to someone else, I feel like shit."
"You didn't do that to me. I know the difference between a tease and the real thing, Connor." At least when it comes to insults. This sexual innuendo bullshit? I'm clueless.
"Good. I like you, Kyle."
"I like you too, Connor. Now shut up and eat your vegetables. Let's look for an apartment when we're done."
"You want to move in with me that fast?"
Kyle choked on his food and took a drink of beer to wash it down. "Oh, God help me." His dick was throbbing like mad in his shorts.
Connor sat up. "What?"
Kyle mirrored his posture. "Yes. I want you that fast."
Connor appeared extremely flattered. "Wow. If I was a woman I'd think you were after my virginity."
Kyle died, avoiding his gaze.
Unfazed, Connor continued, "We'll work on it then. I have to warn you. I'm on a limited budget. It won't be an expensive place. Mom can only send me so much allowance. Dad even objected to the car she bought me. He insisted I get a fucking degree in law. The minute he found out I wasn't interested in becoming a lawyer he tried to cut me off." Connor ate another bite of his burger. "I don't get the bastard. I'm still going to get a degree. What difference does it make? But we've always been more like rivals than family."
"Some relationships are dysfunctional. What can ya do?"
Connor shook his head and made a sour face. "If you ask me, the bastard's jealous of me."
"Jealous?"
"Yeah. He's always looking to have affairs, you know? And if he were broke, he'd have to pay for pussy." Connor glanced over his shoulder first, before he added, "Fucker's rich. So he buys all the whores he can get. My mother knows but she stays with him. You figure it out. Me?" Connor pointed to his chest. "I'd divorce the bastard and take half his shit."
"Sounds fucked up." Kyle felt sorry for Connor.
"Are your parents divorced?"
"No. They're still together."
Connor nodded in reply, eating his food.
"It's tight for me as well. My mom and dad just send a few hundred to me a month so I get by. We can find something small just off campus. We won't be there much. You know, with the classes and practice. I do most of my studying in the library anyway."
"Yes. Me too. I can't concentrate in Huey's pig sty."
"Good. We'll get along just fine. And we can go to practice together."
"Geez! Hungry?"
"What?"
"You inhaled your plate." Connor pointed at it.
Kyle shrugged. "I get really hungry. You gonna eat all those fries?"
"I like you, Kyle Baker."
Kyle stole a french fry from Connor's plate. "I like you too, Connor Worthington." Kyle grinned at him happily as he ate. Oh, yes, I like you a whole lot.
When they exited the restaurant Connor pointed at a newspaper box. "We need one of those."
Kyle shoved a few coins in the slot and opened it up. "We really should check the board in the activities center. This won't list the cheap ones." Kyle skimmed it for the rental section.
"Always thinking, Baker." Connor hopped into the MG and stuck his sunglasses back on his face.
Once they parked on campus, Kyle followed him into the building staring at Connor's tight ass in even tighter soft, faded, blue denim. Glancing down, he checked his own khaki slacks to see if his hard-on showed. He'd been in a perpetual state of arousal since lacrosse practice.
Connor stopped at the bulletin board and shoved his sunglasses up into his long hair once more. Leaning his palm on the wall, he read through the mass of tiny cut-out papers.
His hand in his pocket touching himself, Kyle glanced around the hall first for witnesses before he enjoyed Connor's sensuous posture.
Connor pointed to a slip of paper. "This one's cheap."
Kyle moved behind him and read over his shoulder.
"Apartment, furnished, galley kitchen, bath in unit. Eight hundred and fifty a month. It doesn't say how big it is. You think it's a rat's nest?"
"Where's it at?" Kyle inhaled the shampoo scent from Connor's hair.
When Connor backed up to read more of the ad he ended up resting against Kyle's body. "Uh, let's see. It says it's just off Wilshire Boulevard. That's not too bad a location."
"You know the area better than me." Loving the fact that Connor didn't mind them pressed together, Kyle wondered if Connor could feel his dick throbbing against his butt cheek. "If it's close by, hold onto it. Any others?" Kyle put his hand on Connor's right shoulder, over his long hair, on the pretext of studying the board. The heat between them made Kyle want to rub his cock into Connor's ass, but he restrained the urge with every bit of willpower he possessed.
As if the contact didn't concern him, Connor continued to scan the selection with Kyle firmly attached to his back. "Slim pickings. Mostly houses to share. I don't want a room in a house with twenty people. No fucking way. I already feel like I'm doing that at the dorm."
With each tiny movement of Connor's body Kyle felt friction in his crotch from Connor's bottom. It was distracting him and he was about to combust. "I agree. I couldn't handle a house full of morons either."
"The rest are too expensive. Look, this one's over a thousand." Connor pushed his finger against the clipping, "and they go up from there."
Closing his eyes as the sensation of contact between them made him weak in the knees, Kyle lost the thread of conversation and focused on his cock.
"Fuck it. Let's just take a look at this one. How bad could it be?" When Connor turned to face him, they were connected crotch to crotch. "What do you think?"
Kyle closed his eyes to get under control. Feeling that large mound pushing up against his erect dick was almost too much to deal with. What do I think, Worthington? I'd like to fuck your brains out. But he wouldn't do anything to lose Connor before he even had him as a good friend. "Sure, let's take a look at it."
Though Connor was close enough to peck on the lips, Kyle forced himself to back up from their connection. As he did Kyle looked around the hall. What straight man would allow his new male friend to do that to him? We were rubbing crotches! Hello? Be bi-curious, be bi-curious...
Connor was giving out those mixed signals once again, and Kyle was petrified he'd cross the imaginary line if he took the bait.
When he was set free from Kyle's contact, Connor led the way down the hall. In what appeared to be an overt tease, Conner kept wiggling his derriere and spying back over his shoulder seductively.
Those light eyes and long flowing locks of hair sent a flutter through Kyle. Christ. He loved that expression and thought it was incredibly sexy. What a cock tease! Jesus!
"What are you? A Geisha girl? You don't need to walk ten paces behind me. Catch up, newbie."
"Sorry. Just lost in thought."
"What are you thinking?" Connor opened the glass door to the cool sunshine.
Kyle didn't answer right away because he was thinking about sticking his dick into Connor's ass.
Connor met his gaze. "All right. I won't ask. Who knows what's going on inside that handsome jock head of yours?" He winked.
Like an anxious puppy dog, Kyle jumped. Was that a sign? What the hell? Handsome? He thinks I'm handsome?
As he removed the car keys from his pocket, Connor laughed, shaking his head.
~
The apartment house was old, 1950s vintage, but seemed to be well maintained. They buzzed with the manager's unit and she showed them to the second floor. She unlocked the door and allowed the men to walk in.
While he scanned around, Connor grumbled, "This tiny place for eight hundred fifty? What a joke."
She gestured to a miniature room near the bathroom, which had a single bed. "It's a two-bedroom."
"That's a closet." Connor crossed his arms over his chest.
Moving behind Connor, Kyle took a look at it. He noticed the bedroom had a nice view of the toilet which strangely enough had strands of beads for a door, a la hippie-era. When he pushed them they swung with a clacking sound.
"Let's go, Kyle." Connor waved.
"Wait..." The manager stopped them. "How about if I give it to you for eight twenty-five?"
Kyle raised his eyebrow at Connor. "That ain't bad."
"What about this door?" Connor shoved the rainbow-colored beads making them shimmer and rattle again. "Is this some trendy Mod Squad or LaughIn motif? Give me a break."
"I could see about getting a regular door hung," she offered.
"I don't mind." Kyle shrugged, imagining watching Connor through them taking a pee or just coming out of the shower naked.
"You don't mind?" Connor asked. "That's not much fucking privacy."
"Privacy?" Kyle chuckled. "What the hell are you so shy about? I see you in the locker room all the time." Kyle hoped that didn't sound too gay.
The manager bit her lip anxiously.
"No. It's not that." Connor became annoyed. "Kyle, come on. We can do better than this. And who gets to sleep in the closet? This is absurd."
Knowing they couldn't do better than this on their budget, Kyle wandered around again. "I like it. I'll stay in here."
"Agh! No way!"
"Eight-fifteen," the manager said.
"Connor, we won't find anything decent for that price. You know we're both on a tight budget."
Putting his hands on his hips, Connor grumbled and took another look at the kitchen.
Kyle leaned against the wall to watch him.
"All the appliances work," the manager added.
While Connor inspected the cupboards, opening the refrigerator and turning on the stove, Kyle imagined them alone at night. "Let's try it," Kyle said.
Showing his reluctance, Connor stared down at the short, heavy-set young woman. "Do we have to sign a lease?"
"Uh, how about three months?"
"The only reason she's being so accommodating, Kyle, is because this place sucks."
"No. I like you guys. I want you to have it. You look responsible." She nodded, emphasizing her point. "You won't wreck the place."
The men exchanged glances. Kyle shrugged hopefully.
"You sure?" Connor asked him again, walking close enough to rub noses.
"Sure." Are you kidding, Worthington? You? Me? In this tiny place?
Connor sighed heavily. "All right."
They followed the woman to her room where she had all the paperwork. They signed a lease and Kyle wrote out a check for their deposit. She happily handed them each a key.
Still seemingly upset, Connor stuffed it into his pocket as he descended the stairs, emerging outside. Kyle kept up with him and they stopped when they reached the car.
Kyle asked, "You okay with it, Connor?" He physically turned Connor around to face him. "What's wrong? You change your mind about living with me?"
"Hmm? Living with you? No. No, I want to live with you. It's just...oh, nothing. Sure, it'll be fine." He tilted his head to his car and they both climbed in.
Still wondering if he was pushing Connor too much, Kyle grabbed his leg before he backed out of the parking spot. "Wait." Kyle felt intense heat coming from Connor's body.
At the contact, Connor stared down at Kyle's hand.
"I want to make sure you're happy. Don't make a decision based solely on what I think." Kyle squeezed Connor's thigh.
~
It felt odd suddenly, Kyle's hand on him that way. Somewhere in his mid-section Connor felt a tingle that made him a little dizzy. That tingle made its way to his crotch in a matter of seconds, exciting him. God no! I can't get hot for him! No. Please!
"Connor?" Kyle shook his leg.
"Huh?" Connor was totally disoriented and found Kyle's chocolate brown eyes. "What? What did you ask me?" Connor's cock began to throb in his tight pants and he'd die if Kyle noticed.
Kyle removed his hand and stared at him.
Connor wanted to say, "God, you are so fucking gorgeous, will you make love to me?" Instead he said, "Let me get back to my dorm room so I can pack my shit up."
"Right, I have a Ford Taurus if you need a bigger car." Kyle exhaled loudly in what sounded like stress to Connor. "We can't fit both our stuff in this tiny thing."
"True." Dropping his sunglasses back on his nose, Connor exhaled an equally deep, stress-filled breath and pulled out into traffic.
"You need help with your things? Should I follow you?"
"No. All I've got is clothes and books. Nothing I can't fit into the Mig. I'll meet you back at the new place after."
"You sure?"
Wanting to throw a kiss at Kyle's concerned expression Connor replied, "I'm sure."
After dropping Kyle off at his car, Connor headed to the dorms.
"I can't believe I just agreed to move into a tiny apartment with a jock as hot as fucking Kyle. What the hell's wrong with me?" Rubbing his face tiredly after pocketing his sunglasses, Connor had gay fantasies and dreaded acting on them. His current roommate was so repulsive, he would never be tempted. Kyle? Kyle Baker? Six-foot-two-inches of pure, solid muscle? Dark chocolate brown hair and eyes? I wanted to wait until I graduated to date men. I can't do it now. What am I thinking? Wait. You're not dating. Kyle's not gay. Stop this. Am I fucking insane?
"Yes, I'm insane," he muttered as he opened the door to his room and stepped inside. "Fuck it. Fuck it!" He restrained his defiant roar. Whose life is it? Huh? Mine or my parents'? I'm sick of playing this goddamn denial game.
But he knew. It wasn't a game. As far as his family was concerned, he was already in the doghouse for not pursuing a career in law and bringing home a blonde bimbo named Taffy. Gay? His father would cut off his balls as well as his inheritance. Forget about paying his tuition.
Even his mother wouldn't support that. No way. Both his parents made it very clear early in his life they were pure right-wing, George W. Republican, NRA gun-toting, hate hippie-freaks and queers, bible waving radicals.
If his dad knew how long he craved cock? That would be enough for Arthur Worthington III to take a contract out on his life.
Shaking off the dreaded scenarios of his dad making spot-checks on him, Connor felt defiant. He had to start living his own life. He was twenty not two!
Looking around the small, cluttered living space, he cringed at the food scraps and garbage. Moving directly to his side of the room, he located his suitcase and started packing.
"Hey, Connor! You leaving?" Jean, one of his female dorm and classmates, appeared to have been waiting for his return. She poked her head into his room, chewing gum and texting on her phone simultaneously.
"Yes. I found an apartment off campus. I'm sharing it with one of the other guys on the lacrosse team, Kyle Baker." He folded his things up as he placed them in his bag.
"I know him. He's the new guy from Oregon." She checked the time. "You're going now?"
He gestured to the mess. "Not soon enough."
"No! How far away are you will you be?" She split her concentration between him and her keypad.
"Not far. Why?"
She kicked her shoe into the dirty carpet. "I don't know. I just like you living here at the dorm."
"Do you, Jean?" He grinned at her quickly before he went to pack his toiletries.
Jean followed him. "Yes. Who else is there to pester?" She pocketed her mobile phone.
"You don't pester me."
"Oh, Connor, do ya have ta go?" She hugged him from behind.
"Yes, I have ta." He smiled and spotted her in the bathroom mirror's reflection.
Pouting out her lower lip, Jean released him and crossed her arms in a huff. "Lucky Kyle! I'm so jealous of him. Where is it? Can I have your address?"
"Here." He handed her the little ad from his pocket. "Copy it on that pad on the desk, then I need it back or I won't find my way home. You already know my cell phone number."
"Yeah, but you never answer my text messages." She jotted it down and stuffed the clipping into his front pocket, getting a quick grope.
He widened his eyes at her. "Geez! You copping a feel?"
"Did you like it?"
"Even if I did, I still have to pack." He nudged her away from him gently and continued what he was doing.
"When can I see you?"
"I don't know. Lacrosse practice has started and I'm really busy. Can I let you know?"
"I suppose. Will you be in biology?"
"Yes, why wouldn't I be in class?" He tossed his shaving kit in the suitcase and scanned around. He spotted his books and stuffed them into his backpack.
"No reason." She followed him.
They both reacted when a light knock was heard. Another girl came into the opened door. "I just got Jean's text. You're leaving us?"
"Loraine, tell him he can't go," Jean whined.
Connor shook his head at them and removed his leather jacket from the closet, laying it on top of everything in the suitcase, then he tried to close it.
"Where are you going?" Loraine asked.
Jean filled her in as Connor sat on his suitcase to snap it shut.
"Oh, Connor, you can't. Don't leave us."
Wiping the sweat off his face from his packing, Connor rested the suitcase on the floor and smiled at the two sets of sad eyes. "I'm not really leaving. The apartment is just about walking distance from campus. And you both have my phone number."
Loraine echoed Jean's earlier comment, "But you never return my text messages. What's Kyle's mobile phone number? Can we have it? Maybe he'll at least keep in touch with us."
"You'll have to ask Kyle for his number." Gus, his soon-to-be-ex-roommate, came in eating a chili dog. Connor cringed and swung his backpack over his shoulder. "I gotta go."
The women turned to Gus and groaned.
"Do you have to be so gross?" Jean snorted at him.
"What?" He had mustard on his face. "What did I do? You leaving, Connor?"
"Yeah, I got an apartment off campus with one of the guys on my team." Hoisting up his heavy suitcase, he made for the door. The girls trailed him, still whining. They shadowed him down to his car. He put the big suitcase in the passenger's seat, the backpack in the trunk.
"Wait! At least give us a hug goodbye," Jean whimpered.
Connor laughed softly. "Come here." He opened his arms.
Both women attached themselves to him aggressively. He regained his balance after the force of their reaction and squeezed them tight. "I'm still close by. A minute away."
"God, you smell good." Loraine inhaled him.
As they started squirming on him, he backed away and announced, "Goodnight, ladies."
"Call us!"
"Stop by!"
In stereo they said, "Text me!"
He started the car and waved at them as he left. His thoughts instantly turned to Kyle Baker.
~
Kyle was inside their new apartment unloading his things. He heard noises coming from the hall. Kyle poked his head out of the door to find Connor sweating with his effort.
"Christ! Do you do everything fast?" Connor wiped his forehead after the climb. "How did you get here before me?"
At the comment, Kyle stood straight and stared at him. "Uh, no. Not everything. I hadn't fully unpacked, so I had it easy." He allowed Connor inside and closed the door behind him.
Connor dumped his suitcase into the larger bedroom, the one with the double bed. "Are you sure you don't want this one?"
"I'm sure. Why? You feeling guilty? You want to share the big bedroom?" Kyle tested the waters.
Connor opened his mouth to respond but a quick retort never materialized.
Feeling the awkwardness, Kyle mumbled, "So. Uh. No sheets or blankets and it's too late to hit a store."
"I never thought of that. I should have ripped some off from the dorm."
"Tomorrow we'll take care of it. At least it's Saturday. We only have lacrosse practice."
"I have a ton of work to do. If I don't sit my ass down and start reading, I'm fucked."
"We'll get to it." Kyle leaned on the door frame and used his shirt to wipe the sweat off his face. "It's fucking stuffy in here."
Connor glanced around. "Open all the windows. You can even turn on the air conditioning to cool it down a little."
Kyle moved to the thermostat. "Let's see what comes out. It does say cool air on it."
They paused to listen. Something clicked on. Connor reached in front of one of the vents. "It does feel cooler."
"Good. I'll open the windows." Kyle went room to room opening the windows that weren't painted shut. When he returned he found that Connor had taken off his t-shirt and tossed it on the bed as he worked on hanging up his clothing.
Having already finished what he was doing, Kyle stopped short in the doorway. "You need help?"
"I think I got it." Connor paused, pulling his hair back into a ponytail and wrapping a rubber band around it. Once he did, he used his shirt to wipe the perspiration off his face.
Kyle entered the room anyway and started putting Connor's shoes in the closet. "I need a beer."
"Wouldn't that be nice? We need to find someone to sell us some."
"I've bought some in that little shop on the corner of Sunset and Clark. They don't card there."
"Think they're open?" Connor pushed his bangs back from his eyes.
"No clue." Kyle laughed. "And I'm too tired to go back out."
"Me too. Well then, I think we'll be dry tonight."
"Not completely dry." Kyle left the room and came back holding up a bottle of whiskey.
"Ew. You're not serious." Connor crinkled his nose in disgust.
"It's just for getting drunk. I didn't say it was a refreshing drink. What are you like drunk? Do you get wild? Anything I should know about?"
"I've only gotten really drunk one time. I didn't get anything but stupid."
"I'll bet you're one of those silly drunks." Kyle walked closer to him. "Or a horny one," he whispered.
"I'm always horny. I don't need booze."
"Ditto," Kyle replied softly, watching Connor's eyes as they discussed sex together.
"Great. Two horny men jacking off constantly." Connor moved his hand in a gesture of masturbation, then shook his head and continued to put away his things.
Knowing there was a better way to get release, Kyle said boldly, "Am I going to hear you grunting every night while you're spanking the monkey?" When no comment returned, Kyle said, "Never mind," and turned away from Connor's blank stare. "You are weird, Worthington."
"You sure you know what you're doing? Moving in with me after only knowing me one day?" Connor appeared very serious for such a silly conversation. "What if I'm a homicidal maniac? Or worse?"
"What's worse than a homicidal maniac?" Kyle sat down on the bed.
"I could be a queer."
Kyle's smile dropped and his heart sank at the way in which Connor announced it. It seethed with venom. What's the deal, Worthington? "I know you're not gay. You made a date with a female waitress," he tried not to sneer.
"Oh. That's right. Then your ass is safe." Connor turned his back on Kyle to hang up another shirt.
Hating this game, Kyle opened the bottle of whiskey and drank a gulp. "Great, I'm safe," he mumbled.
The sweat beading on his upper lip, Connor finished unpacking and tossed the suitcase into the closet, shutting the door. Dropping down heavily, Connor sat next to Kyle on the bed who handed over the bottle. Connor made a face before he drank it. He shivered. "Ew, nasty!"
Kyle shrugged, feeling let down.
"You have enough closet space? In the closet you'll sleep in, I mean." Connor nudged him.
"Yes. It's fine."
"You okay? Did I say something that upset you?"
"Huh?" Kyle met his gaze and forced a smile. "No. Of course not."
"Look, we'll be living together in very close quarters. If I get on your nerves or anything, please tell me. We need to be honest with one another. All right? If you want the place for a screw, just hang a sign on the door or text me and I'll make myself scarce."
Growing more depressed by the moment, Kyle took the bottle back wondering how many women Connor was going to be bringing back here.
"Kyle?" Connor touched his hair lightly, pushing it back behind the ear.
Kyle's eyes riveted to those baby blue orbs. It felt so natural to lean over and kiss him. He restrained that urge with every ounce of strength he possessed. "I will."
"Good. Now, I need a shower and to study for an hour before I sleep." Connor stood and carried his toiletries into the bathroom. "Thank God, it's finally cooling down in here. It's January for cryin' out loud!"
Kyle took one more swig of the strong booze, capped the bottle, and walked past the beaded door of the bathroom to his bedroom. Placing the bottle on the rickety nightstand, Kyle flopped down on the bare twin mattress.
With his hands behind his head, he laid back on the bed to check out the view. Through the multicolored beads he could see Connor's pants drop to the tiled floor. He heard him taking a pee in the toilet. Shortly after that, the shower started.
The alcohol beginning to take effect, Kyle climbed out of the bed and turned off the light to his room. Removing his shoes and socks, he stripped down to his briefs. He balled up some clothing to use as a pillow and propped his head up to watch. It was pitch dark around him except for the small amount of light coming from the bathroom. His tiny room had no windows.
The shower stopped and long, lean legs appeared through the beaded door. Kyle reached into his briefs and held his incredibly hard cock. He watched as Connor dried himself, leaning down and toweling off. The water in the sink started soon after as Connor brushed his teeth. Kyle kept getting small glimpses of Connor's ass and thighs through the nearly transparent fringe of the door. When the light turned off, Kyle took his hand out of his briefs.
"Goodnight, Kyle," Connor whispered into the darkened room.
"Night, Connor." Kyle waited until he heard him pad away. A light turned on in Connor's bedroom as Kyle figured he'd be reading for a while before he slept.
Kyle reached back to hold himself, imagining touching Connor, easily making himself come. For a moment he lay still, recovering, before he climbed out of bed for his turn to shower and clean up.
~
The book on his lap, sitting up against the headboard, Connor heard the shower start and paused in his reading to think. He was relieved to have found Kyle, knowing they would become great friends. There was something about the way Kyle treated him that was worth savoring. Starving for that kind of care and affection, Connor needed Kyle more than he wanted to admit. Seeing his muscular legs through the beaded door, Connor reached down his naked chest to his abdomen, then between his legs. It was still warm in the apartment, so he slept naked. Gazing at the quick glimpses of Kyle's body through the shiny beaded strands, Connor set his textbook aside and closed his eyes. When he came he gasped quietly and lay still. He blinked and peered around for something to clean up with. He picked up his sock and used it, tossing it on the carpet.
Making sure he didn't have any spunk on his hands, he opened the book again and found his place. It didn't take long before his eyelids grew heavy.
Kyle obviously opted for sleep and no reading since after his shower the light went out in his tiny room.
Finally feeling exhaustion creep in, Connor closed the book, shut off the light, wedged a sweatshirt under his head as a pillow, and went to sleep.
Kyle awoke to light spilling into his room from the hall. Raising his head to the strange surroundings, he struggled to remember where he was. He sat up, scrubbing his face tiredly, and noticed his watch lying on the floor. He slid it back on his wrist and checked the time. It was eight thirty. Chilly from the night air, he closed the apartment windows again.
He washed up in the bathroom and dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. Knowing there wasn't even a coffee pot or instant coffee to make, he tried not to feel overwhelmed at the amount of things they needed to buy for the apartment. And that didn't even begin to compete with the workload and the sports practice.
As quietly as he could, Kyle walked to Connor's bedroom to peer in. Through the open door, Kyle swallowed down a dry throat as he ogled that naked beauty on the bed. Holy fuck. His eyes drying out from staring, Kyle licked his lips while he scratched his rough jaw, wondering how he was going to live in a state of constant arousal.
Connor's body lay in a graceful pose, his long legs stretched out over the mattress's length, while his genitals were exposed in the sunlight.
Unable to prevent his impulse, Kyle pushed the door back farther and enjoyed the sight. Yeah, he'd admired Connor in the locker room, but that was with quick, sneaky peeks. When could he gaze like this at him? Totally unobserved?
His cock hardened in his pants and he felt as if he was holding his breath. Jesus! You beautiful, mother-fucker! Augh! The size of Connor's cock, even soft, was unbelievable. Kyle had never seen an appendage that large on a man. And Connor's dick seemed even more imposing because of his slender waistline and long legs. "I cannot believe what you look like," Kyle mouthed silently to himself. It wasn't just Connor's face; it was his body. No. It wasn't just Connor's body; it was his sweetness. No. It was the entire package. What a fucking package!
As Kyle argued over which virtue he loved best in this remarkable person, he was going sexually crazy. The urge to creep in, kneel down, and take Connor's cock into his mouth was so overwhelming, Kyle had to fight with everything he had and not act and risk losing Connor as a friend.
Very quietly, he closed the door and sprinted to his room. He lay down on the bed, opened his zipper, and stuck his hand in his briefs. Closing his eyes, imagining tasting Connor's lips, his cum, his balls, Kyle climaxed in seconds. Milking his cock gently, he gasped for breath, wondering if living with a man as beautiful and unattainable as Connor Worthington would be living hell.
~
Connor stirred groggily. There was the sound of construction coming from outside his open window. He rubbed his eyes and yawned, comfortably scratching his nuts as he came to life. Sitting up on the bare mattress, he looked around the room to get his bearings in the strange place. "Brr!" He jumped up and closed the window.
Once he was more alert, he slipped on a pair of jeans and made his way to the bathroom.
When he stepped into the hall, he met Kyle at the beaded door. "Oh, hi. You need it?" Connor gestured to the bathroom. He noticed Kyle's expression seemed slightly strained and he was cupping his hand over his lower abdomen.
"Uh, can I? Just for a minute?" Kyle's gaze flickered to Connor's naked chest before it connected to Connor's stare.
"Sure." Nodding, Connor backed up, allowing Kyle to enter the bathroom. He heard the water in the sink start and peered through the gap in the beads to see Kyle wiping his abdomen with toilet paper. With that image in his head, Connor scuffed his way to the window to gaze out at the street below. You were cleaning up from jerking off. Nice. But what a waste of spunk.
Connor tried to calm down from the thought that his friend had just jacked off. It certainly was what it looked like. Envisioning handsome brown-eyed jock, Kyle Baker, playing with himself was too hot for Connor to handle. Instantly he forced the idea out of his head and counted cars as they passed below to distract himself.
In a few minutes, Kyle emerged. "Sorry. It's all yours."
"Not a problem." Connor smiled. Before he began his morning ritual, he paused directly in front of Kyle and said, "We need to get coffee. I can't function without it."
As Kyle grunted in agreement, avoiding direct eye contact, he removed his wallet from his back pocket and counted his cash. "I have to call my mother for more funds. Sheets, towels, and kitchen shit are going to be expensive."
"Ditto," Connor agreed, as he went to wash his face and brush his teeth. "Should I shave?"
"You're asking me?" Kyle peered through the beaded door.
"Yes. I'm too tired to think."
A look of delight washed over Kyle's handsome features. "Shave."
"Right." Connor reached into his kit for his razor as he filled the sink with water. He lathered up and glided the razor over his jaw. When he met Kyle's sparkling eyes in the reflection of the mirror he asked, "You watching me?"
The blush rushed to Kyle's cheeks. "You're the only form of entertainment at the moment."
"That's sad."
A soft contented smile on his lips, Kyle replied, "No. Not at all, Connor. I'm enjoying it."
"Enjoying it? I'll cut myself. You're making me paranoid." It was Connor's turn to blush. He swished the razor in the sink full of water before he continued running the blade over his jaw. "What do you think all the shit for this place will set us back?" Connor raised his chin to shave under it.
"I don't know. A hundred bucks?"
Connor caught Kyle rubbing his crotch and wondered if he was turning Kyle on. Kyle was so rugged, so masculine, Connor couldn't imagine he was gay. Connor returned his focus to the mirror. "I bet it's even more. Do we need a phone too? Or are you happy with your cell phone?"
"I'm good with my mobile phone." Kyle licked his lips. It was casual, not seductive.
Christ, the last thing I need is a hunky jock who's gay, living with me. Connor had a feeling if Kyle seduced him, his resistance would not be great. And his father would murder him if he found out he liked men. Murder him. Literally.
Trying not to shiver at the anxiety that caused him, Connor's hand began trembling as he shaved.
Kyle didn't seem to notice. "Let's head to Kmart first, then food shop."
"Can we use your Ford? My MG is really small." Connor finished shaving and rinsed his face, drying it on his towel.
"Of course."
"Good." Running a brush through his mane of hair, Connor wanted Kyle's opinion as a butch straight man. "You think it's too long?"
Blinking in surprise, Kyle appeared to be happy in his new role as consultant. "No. I like it long. It looks really okay on you." In what Connor considered a very bold move, Kyle entered the bathroom instead of conversing with him through the beaded door, and tugged on the very ends of Connor's locks, which came to Connor's mid-back.
Chills raced over Connor's skin and his cock twitched. Ignoring the rush to his loins, he avoided meeting Kyle's eyes. "Really? Not too eighties Ted Nugent?"
"Totally Nugent and very cute."
"Cute?" Connor spun around at that comment. It was overt as far as he was concerned and it scared him to death. "Did you call me cute?"
Kyle went bright red. "You know what I mean. Don't read into it any more than you should. Jesus, Connor, if you don't want my opinion, don't ask." Kyle walked away from him, into his bedroom.
Taking a minute to calm himself, Connor assumed Kyle was just teasing him. He followed Kyle into his room making kissing noises. "Aren't I cute?" Connor put his hands on his hips and batted his eyelashes at Kyle coquettishly. It was the only way Connor could deal with his unholy attractions. Turn everything into a comic act.
"All right." Kyle rolled his eyes. "Get dressed. We have practice today."
Spinning around, Connor headed to his room to get dressed, all the while wishing he could stop pretending. That's what he was. One big, horrible phony.
~
Kyle covered his face with both hands and then ran them back through his hair. He knew he'd slipped up and prayed he'd think before he spoke next time. If he made a sexual overture and Connor wasn't gay, Kyle was certain he'd lose him as both a friend and roommate. He finished getting ready, making sure he had his key and cell phone.
In a few moments Connor returned, still smiling. "Ready, cutie-pie!"
"Okay, wiseass." A smile edged out Kyle's dower mood. Connor was so attractive, it wasn't easy to stay upset. Especially when Connor was such a tease.
"Ha! Cutie-pie! Cutie-pie!" Connor flew out their door and bounded down the stairs noisily, his laughter echoing behind him.
Locking the door as he left, Kyle shook his head at that tight butt and long, rock star head of hair as he disappeared out of his view.
~
They parked Kyle's car in the lot and pushed a shopping cart down the aisles of the mega store. Connor offered to drive the trolley while Kyle investigated everything they needed. The cart was piled high by the time they headed to the check-out. As Kyle watched, several young women tried to catch Connor's eye, but he never seemed to notice them.
His brain working on overdrive when it came to this man, Kyle just couldn't figure out all the mixed signals.
When the total was calculated they both cringed. Connor wrote out a check since Kyle had put the down payment on the apartment. They carted the items out and Connor said, "I hope my mother gets me the money by Monday or that check will bounce."
Arranging the items in the back seat and trunk of the Ford, Kyle replied, "Maybe we need to work part time."
"Oh, fuck that! And school? And sports? When? In the middle of the night?"
"We can rob a bank." Kyle smiled.
"Don't worry. Just let me call home."
Once the car was loaded, Kyle asked, "Do you want me to wait outside the car while you call?"
Digging his mobile phone out of his pocket, Connor shook his head. "Sit tight." He gestured he'd be right back.
Kyle nodded.
Connor walked a few feet away from the car, then put his phone to his ear.
As he gazed at Kyle slouching behind the wheel, someone answered the phone. "Hello? Lawrence? Is Mom available?"
"Yes, Master Connor. One moment."
"Hello? Connor?"
"Mom? Hi, how are you doing? You okay?"
"Yes, things are fine. How is school? Are you doing well in your studies?"
"Yes, very well. Uh, I moved out of the dorm though."
"You did? Why?"
"Low class atmosphere. You know what I mean? It's worse this year because I'm a senior. It's very promiscuous," he elaborated to sell it, knowing his mother was the consummate religious prude.
"Smart boy. You don't need that to interfere with your work. Where are you living?"
"A teammate and I got a small apartment right off campus. Could you send some cash to help us with sheets and towels and stuff?"
"How much do you need?"
Oh, ten thousand would be fine. The change in Dad's pockets. "If you could spare a couple hundred. And I'm paying half the rent. So, it's four hundred a month. Don't pay for the dorm anymore if you get a bill."
"Okay. I've paid in advance for the quarter. Will you get a refund?"
"I'll see what I can do."
"Let me know. And I'll transfer money into your account. Do you have the address of your apartment for me?"
It was too easy. She was being too nice. Connor assumed she must have had another run-in with his dad. Caught him cheating again? "Yes, you ready?" He took the frayed ad out of his wallet and read it to her. "You miss me? Mom?"
"Of course, dear. Do you ever keep your cell phone on? I always get voicemail."
"No. Not really. It goes off constantly. I can't stand it."
Silence followed, then his mother said, "I'll get the money to you soon. Goodbye, dear."
He heard the line disconnect. "Mom? Hello?" Connor disconnected the call and noticed he had voicemail and text messages. He shut off the tiny phone not bothering to check them. Connor muttered bitterly, "You're there for the cash but not the love, right, Mother dearest?"
~
Slumped in the front seat, listening to one of his favorite Peter Gabriel CDs, Kyle stared at Connor and studied his body language closely. Just the sight of Connor's brown hair blowing in the warm breeze, his tanned skin, and his glowing light eyes made Kyle hot. He began rubbing the mound between his legs as it throbbed.
Connor's posture changed a few times, from nervousness to relief and then back to apprehension. It matched the expressions on his face. When Connor hung up he stared at the phone for a few moments as if gathering his thoughts. Kyle grew concerned. They hadn't delved into family history yet, so he had no idea what dynamics governed the Worthington household. Connor finally raised his head and started walking to the car.
In a surreal moment, during Red Rain's chorus repeating in the background, Kyle's focused was glued to that bulge between Connor's legs. The way it moved when he walked, right to left, hypnotizing him. The amount he wanted to fuck Connor was driving him insane. Before Connor came too close, Kyle pressed his palm onto his crotch, pushing it down, trying to tame it.
Connor opened the passenger's side of the Ford Taurus and climbed in. Kyle asked, "Any luck?"
"Yes, she's giving me money."
"Good." Kyle started the engine. "Then why aren't you smiling?"
Without a word in reply, Connor put his seatbelt on and leaned on the passenger's door to stare out of the window.
Having a bad feeling about Connor's home life, Kyle tried to change the subject. "Practice in an hour. Let's unload and get something to eat quickly. My treat."
Connor turned to look at him distractedly. "Cool."
Kyle left him alone to his thoughts. Whatever was going on, it wasn't good.
~
After a few trips up and down the stairs, Connor dumped the packages in the middle of the floor in the living room and headed back out. Still running on empty, Kyle drove them to a pancake house and they finally got their much needed coffee.
"You up for our date tonight?" When the waitress approached with a pot of coffee, Connor raised his empty cup so she could refill it.
Kyle curled his lip.
"Are you ready to order?" the waitress asked.
"Give us a minute." Connor smiled sweetly at her. When the woman left, Connor whispered, "What? Oh, relax, will ya?" Connor tipped cream into his cup. When Kyle still hadn't responded Connor exhaled loudly. "Is it because it's a blind date?"
"Yes!"
"Will you calm down?" Connor didn't want to go either but felt like he had to date. If he wasn't seen with a woman, especially after moving in with Kyle, the rumors in the locker room would be cruel, and that didn't even begin to describe the punishment he'd endure if word reached home he didn't see women. Ever.
As if avoiding the conversation, Kyle picked up his menu.
Trying to figure out why he was reacting so badly, Connor reached to lower it as it acted as a wall between them. "Are you upset about this double date?" Kyle didn't answer. Connor tried to analyze why. "Kyle, if you really don't want to go, then I'll call Hannah and tell her I'll go alone."
"I can't decide between the waffles or pancakes."
"Kyle!" Feeling exasperated, Connor wanted a straight answer and wasn't getting one. "Quit the bullshit!"
The waitress returned. "Are you ready to order?"
Grumbling under his breath, Connor exhaled and checked the selections. "How about two eggs, poached, toast with butter on the side, and home fries."
Kyle muttered, "First a veggie burger, now you're on a diet."
"Shut up and order," Connor grumbled, throwing the menu down. He had no idea why Kyle had become hostile.
"I'll take a stack of buttermilk pancakes, a side of sausages, and an egg, over medium." After Kyle handed the waitress the menus, he leaned his chin on his palm staring at Connor. "Who the hell are you? Long hair? Diet food? What the hell? Next thing you'll tell me is you do yoga."
"Oh, fuck you." Hating the taunting, Connor pouted, crossing his arms over his chest.
Imitating Connor's expression, sticking out his lower lip at him, Kyle cracked up.
"Stop laughing at me, Baker!"
Kyle sipped his coffee, staring at him.
His cheeks burned in humiliation. Connor peeked up at him. "You done abusing me?" Connor had taken so much painful tormenting at home he was very thinned skinned.
"Abusing you? I was only teasing. Take a chill pill."
"You take a chill pill, you asshole!"
"Jesus!" Kyle flinched.
Connor slouched and focused on his coffee cup.
"I can't win." Kyle rubbed his forehead. "I'm just playing around with you, Connor."
"No. You can't win that game with me. So don't try."
They sat in total silence until their meals arrived. Kyle covered his plate with plenty of butter and maple syrup.
"You'll turn into a Baby Huey eating like that."
"I work out. I can't eat like you do. Jesus, I'd starve. You eat like a fucking girl." Kyle laughed.
Connor cringed.
"What? Oh, you can kid me, but I can't kid you?"
Hating being compared to a woman, Connor turned his attention to his plate.
"Fine. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it, Connor." Kyle waited for a reply. When none came he stuck his fork into his pancake and held it up. "Taste? As a peace offering?"
Feeling sorry for himself, Connor blinked his eyelashes and noticed the fork hovering before him with a delicious bite of pancake and sweet syrup. As if he were doing something naughty, Connor scanned the area first before he leaned forward, opening his lips.
Kyle fed him the bite. "Well?"
"It is good." Connor smiled as he chewed.
"You're welcome to more."
"You want some of mine?"
"The potatoes, when you don't finish them." Kyle grinned.
Connor choked on a laugh. "Holy fuck. Two days and you know me that well? That's fucking scary." I'm beginning to adore you too much.
In return Kyle gave him an affectionate smile.
~
Drenched in sweat from a grueling practice, Connor and Kyle showered side by side. Kyle kept up small talk to keep his mind and view from Connor's fabulous body as Connor rubbed bubbly suds all over himself.
Once they were dry and getting dressed, he and Connor discussed the game with a few of the other players when they were standing in front of their lockers.
"Fucking Donald kept hogging the ball," Kevin Brown said.
"He spends way too much time cradling and not enough time passing," Dick Lang said.
Kyle didn't know why Donald was getting such a bad rap. He didn't think the guy had done anything wrong.
"And you, Worthington!" Arnold Walski pointed. "Nice hair."
Ross Cartmen laughed. "If you're trying to look gay, it's working."
Connor flinched at the jab. The rest of the guys laughed in a riot.
Head Coach Banks called Connor's name as Connor tucked his shirt into his jeans. As his coach approached, Connor gave Kyle a quick look as if to see if Kyle was listening in.
"Connor, I've had a talk with Stu Knox, the assistant coach, and we want you to be a captain."
Instantly Kyle grabbed Connor's shoulder to shake him. "Are you kidding? Connor! That's fantastic!"
Connor took a moment to absorb it, staring at each player as if judging their reaction to the announcement. Kyle was the only teammate who seemed pleased at the news.
"Good job, buddy!" Coach Banks patted Connor's bottom and left.
Connor finished getting dressed in silence, his damp hair hiding his face.
Kyle was confused by Connor's lack of excitement and even more perplexed to see the rest of the players disperse without so much as a congratulations or a pat on the back.
Once he and Connor were on their way out of the locker room to the parking lot, Kyle put his arm around Connor's shoulder as they walked. "I am so proud of you."
When they arrived at the car, Kyle unlocked the doors and climbed into the driver's seat. While Connor sat quietly, deep in thought, Kyle fastened his seatbelt, ignited the engine, and turned down the radio. "Connor?" The urge to cup Connor's face in affection was overwhelming.
"Hmm?"
"Well?" Kyle gestured for him to say something.
Connor replied, "I really don't want to be a captain. I'm already overloaded with too many credits. I shouldn't even be playing at all."
"Are you for real? Do you know how many guys would cream themselves for that honor?"
Connor shrugged. "I don't care. It's just more shit to deal with."
Kyle sighed as he backed out of the parking space. "I just can't figure you out, Worthington."
On the drive home Connor stared into space and Kyle left him alone in his thoughts. Kyle wondered if Connor's family life was horrible and that's where the insecurity originated from. He knew what his response would be if he was selected captain of a Western Collegiate Lacrosse League team.
As they drew near their apartment complex, Kyle took another look at Connor's profile. He could read a dark depression engulfing him. It didn't take a shrink to see something was troubling Connor. Tears were standing in his eyes, about to overflow. Kyle felt so much pity for him it was painful. How could a man who had Connor's incomparable beauty, charm, and intelligence be so riddled with sadness?
Once they parked and climbed the stairs to their unit, they came through the door to a pile of parcels still littering the floor. Without a word, Connor stepped over them to go to his room.
After staring at the heap of items for a minute, Kyle started sorting through them.
Connor emerged, changed into a black pair of slacks and v-neck t-shirt, headed to the bathroom. He whispered, "Let's do that tomorrow. We need to get ready."
Throwing down towels in anger, Kyle let out a stressful exhale and went to his room. The date. The stupid, fucking date!
"What? Kyle, what the hell is wrong?" Connor crossed his arms over his chest.
Kyle held up a white polo shirt and a pair of beige Dockers. "This outfit okay for our wonderful evening?"
"Very nice. You'll impress her."
"Do I impress you?"
Connor's mouth opened in surprise.
Kyle could see Connor was unsure of how to take the comment.
Connor finally replied with a wry smirk, "Yes. Will you marry me?"
"In a heartbeat," Kyle mumbled, getting changed.
"Did you just say what I think you said?" Connor gaped at him.
"No." Kyle tucked his shirt into his trousers in frustration.
"How about me? Do I look all right?" Connor raised his arms and spun around.
Sitting on the bed to put on his shoes, Kyle bit his lip. All right? Do you look all right? About to dive on him and strip that tight outfit off his sleek build, Kyle whispered, "You look fine."
"Fine?" Connor frowned in disappointment, obviously hoping for something better than that. "All right, I'll find something else."
Kyle jumped up to stop him. "No, I mean really fine. Don't change."
At the touch of Kyle's hand on his arm, Connor halted and turned around slowly. The heat between them sent chills all over Kyle's body. There was a look in Connor's eyes that made the hairs stand on the back of Kyle's neck. Kiss him! He's right fucking there! Kiss him!
"You sure?" Connor's lips parted sensuously.
Kyle wasn't sure of anything at the moment but his increasing love and lust for this stud. "You look fine."
~
Watching as Kyle licked his lips, wetting them, Connor was beginning to get the impression they were saying one thing and thinking another. Or was he just reading messages that weren't there? Forcing himself to get his libido under control, Connor cleared his throat. "How are we going to pick them up?"
"Where are we meeting them?" Moving away from the contact, Kyle stuffed his wallet, keys, and cell phone into his pocket.
"Hannah said they'd be at the sports bar. Out front." Connor checked his watch.
"Mine's bigger than yours."
Conner gaped in shock, about to respond with something appropriately lewd when Kyle added, "The Ford! I meant the Taurus." Kyle cracked up with laughter.
Shaking his head, Connor held back his naughty reply.
"Christ, no one's is as big as yours," Kyle murmured.
Connor asked, "You've checked out my dick?"
"It's too big to miss, buddy."
"Jesus Christ, Baker." Chills washed over Connor's spine. This guy was looking at his cock? Holy fuck. Is he? Connor was petrified to take that leap. So he played the pathetic game. "You'll keep it a secret, right? I don't want that to be the reason this woman likes me."
"Your secret's safe with me. You'd make a lot of dough as a porn star though." Kyle opened the front door and gestured for Connor to go out.
"That would go over well." Connor used a high, funny voice as he said, "Hello, Mother? Guess what I've decided to do for a living?"
"Connor Worthington, you are something else."
"Yes, I am. And you, Kyle Baker, have a thing for big dicks."
"Shut up."
"Big macho cocks! Am I right?" Connor wanted a reaction, wanted to touch him.
"If you don't shut up, I'll spank you." Kyle shoved him and he bounced off the wall of the hallway.
"Ouch! You're a mean jock." Connor rubbed his elbow.
"Want me to kiss it and make it better?" Kyle opened the door to the lobby for them.
"Yes." Connor raised his elbow to him.
Kyle leaned over as if he would. The minute Kyle was close, Connor twisted around quickly and stuck his butt out at him.
Much to Connor's surprise, Kyle whacked it, hard.
"Shit!" Getting a hard-on, Connor straightened up instantly, liking the sting and the man who administered it very much. "Oh, baby! Spank me!"
"Don't even start that shit!" Kyle warned, finding the keys to his car as they reached it.
"Ooh, yes! Spank my ass hard," he purred as Kyle's cheeks turned a wonderful shade of bright red.
"Get in and stop!" Kyle unlocked the door for him. When Connor settled down, Kyle stared at him, shaking his head. "You're a tease, Connor Andrew Worthington."
"A tease? What the hell do you mean? You mean a cock tease?" Connor stared at him, the sensation of excitement surging through his crotch at the insinuation of attraction between them. "And how the hell do you know my middle name? First you're checking out my dick and now my paperwork?"
"No. I didn't. Nothing like that. Forget about it." Kyle started the car, driving out of the parking lot. Suddenly he looked mortified by their game.
Connor was thinking about the comments very carefully. He wondered if Kyle meant what Connor thought he meant. That little swat on his ass left a lovely reverberation of pleasure with it. He had a wicked fantasy of being naked, bent over Kyle's solid muscular lap, his large hand hovering over him for a slap. With that delicious vision in his head, he shivered and grew even harder. I have to stop this! If I'm gay, I'm dead. Connor gulped down his terror and thought of anything but the sexy man just an arm's reach away. The insults in the locker room were escalating as it was.
~
Kyle peeked over at Connor as he flipped down the visor and tried to tame his hair. All Kyle wanted to do was drive Connor back to the apartment and seduce him. The homoerotic innuendos were making him insane. Turn around, drag him up to the apartment, strip him, and suck on his cock!
He snapped out of his dreams when Connor pointed to the two women. Hating everything about this evening, Kyle parked the car and climbed out to meet the Hannah on the sidewalk.
Connor elbowed him in the ribs and whispered, "Not bad."
Taking a good look at Hannah's friend, Kyle was glad at least she seemed decent.
Hannah introduced the men to Vicky as Vicky gazed up into Kyle's eyes excitedly.
"What do you guys want to do?" Connor asked.
"There's an animation festival at Melnitz Hall," Hannah said.
They shrugged agreeably and headed towards it on foot. As they began their stroll, Hannah reached out for Connor's hand and held it.
Imagining holding Connor's hand, Kyle realized Vicky was trying to do the same and felt obligated to clasp it. Peering down at her, Kyle found her dreamy smile. Her long black hair was swept back from her face in a pearl clip. Vicky wore a miniskirt and a low cut blouse showing cleavage. During the walk over to the theater, both Vicky and Hannah talked on their mobile phones and texted messages.
When they made it through the long line to the ticket booth, Connor paid for his date and waited for Kyle to do the same. As they found seats in the noisy room, Kyle made sure he and Connor sat together with the women on the outside ends.
"You should probably shut off your phone now." Kyle tried not to sound harsh. Vicky nodded and withdrew it from her purse.
"Hannah, your phone," she reminded her friend.
"Right." Hannah turned hers off and said, "Connor, your phone."
"I never have it on."
"I know!" Hannah laughed and nudged him. "Do you even check your messages?"
Connor shrugged. "Once a week?"
"Shut up! I can't live without my Blackberry." Vicky giggled. "What about you, Kyle? Do you keep your phone on?"
"Nope. It's a pain in the butt."
"Man, you two are a matched pair." Hannah shook her head.
Yup we are. Kyle shifted in his seat and rested his leg against Connor's comfortably. When he did, Connor didn't pull back from the touch, instead, to Kyle's delight, he felt Connor relax against his leg.
The lights went dim and the noise settled to a restrained murmur along with a few scattered coughs. With an almost manic paranoia, Kyle kept checking to see where Connor's hands were. Right now, one was on his own lap and the other was holding Hannah's hand. With unmatched determination, Kyle wanted to find a way to lay his hand on that black denim-covered thigh.
As the first cartoon began, Vicky rested her head on Kyle's shoulder. There was nothing Kyle could do to get away from it. He wondered if she could sense his disinterest or if he thought hard enough he could turn her off through mental telepathy.
As mini-film after film flickered by in one to two minute segments, one animation in particular was very violent and gory. He and Connor roared with laughter while the women said it was sick. Trying to communicate his hilarity, Kyle grabbed Connor's thigh and shook it. Connor nodded in agreement and dabbed at his eyes as he controlled his laughing fit. It was the opportunity Kyle had waited for. Kyle didn't remove his hand from Connor's leg, loving the feel of that hard muscle underneath.
When the amount of time grew conspicuous and Kyle still didn't remove his hand, he glanced sideways to see Connor staring down at it. Wondering what Connor was thinking, Kyle tightened his fingers, feeling through the black denim to that incredible masculine body. He felt Connor tense up, then noticed Vicky's eyes move towards it. That act of spying forced Kyle to release his hold.
Kyle wished he was alone with Connor, not stuck with a woman he had no interest in.
After the show the conversation revolved around which animation short they liked best. Inevitably the men voted for the violent one.
"What is it about guys?" Vicky asked, turning on her phone as they walked.
"Oh, come on. It was a cartoon," Kyle said.
Hannah crossed her arms over her chest. "The guy's head blew off!"
Connor roared with laughter and doubled over. His hilarity was contagious, so Kyle joined him.
The girls exchanged annoyed glances. "Typical males," Hannah breathed.
"Ah, wait! Help me, Kyle! I'm dying!" Connor put his arm around Kyle's waist as if to control himself.
Instantly, Kyle checked the expressions of the girls as Connor held onto him. For some strange reason they didn't seem to think it was odd. Testing the waters even further, Kyle reached around Connor and squeezed him close, whispering sensuously in his ear, "Come here, baby, I'll help you."
The laughter stopped immediately, caught in Connor's throat, and he blinked at Kyle.
"Okay. I'm hungry. Let's get a bite to eat," Hannah announced and reached for Connor's hand.
Kyle caught Connor's suspicious glance as they walked in front of he and Vicky. Cool it, Baker! You'll lose him! Quit the gay act!
The two couples walked hand in hand once more out of the campus to Sunset Boulevard, which was crowded with students coming and going from movies and bars.
As they passed a pizzeria, Vicky suggested the place. They agreed unanimously and entered, only to stand in line for a table.
"Let me hit the restroom," Connor said.
"Uh, yeah, I have to go too." Kyle released Vicky's hand, anxious to stop touching her. He followed Connor into the men's room and they stood side by side at the urinals. Kyle heard Connor start to pee first, then laugh softly.
Kyle asked, "What are you laughing about?"
"The fucking cartoon. What's with women? I really thought it was the best one." He gave it a shake and turned to face Kyle.
About to reply, Kyle noticed Connor fingering himself for a moment before he tucked his big, delicious prick into his pants. Connor grinned like a demon. Instantly Kyle lit on fire and couldn't stop looking.
"Are you staring at my cock again?" Connor hissed wickedly, wagging it at him.
Forcing himself to turn away, Kyle felt cold sweat wash over his body. "Connor! You moron! I wasn't!" He tried to use a restrained whisper as he died of embarrassment.
"Yeah, right, Baker." Connor smiled, tucking himself in. Once he had straightened himself up he headed to the sink to wash his hands.
His head spinning with the vision of that large mushroom shaped head and piss slit, Kyle zipped up and did the same. "You are the worst troublemaker."
"Does its size mesmerize you?"
Kyle grabbed a few paper towels, trying not to panic. "Yeah, I'm mesmerized by your dick. Give me a break."
Before they left the bathroom, Connor checked himself out in the mirror. As men came and went, Kyle observed how they reacted to Connor. While Connor was preening he received a few raised eyebrows. Did he act gay? No. Conceited? Not really. What about the comment? Does he want me to stare at his cock? "You ready or need some time to put on your lipstick and mascara?"
Spinning around, Connor gave Kyle a violent shove. "Shut up! I'm not a fucking woman!"
"Stop pushing me! I'm warning you, Worthington. I'm stronger than you."
"In your dreams." Connor kept nudging Kyle from behind to keep him moving down the hall.
Digging in his heels, Kyle leaned back into him. "I can take you. Don't make me prove it."
"Yeah, yeah, take me later then, in private."
In shock, Kyle twisted over his shoulder to see his face.
"What? Go!" Connor pushed him.
Once again, completely confused, Kyle shook his head. The innuendoes and wrong assumptions had to be coming from his own warped mind. It seemed Connor was clueless he was sending out gay vibes.
When they scanned the room they found the girls waiting in a booth, waving at them the same time as they texted messages on their little phones.
"What took you so long? I thought women were bad," Hannah scolded them, continuing to use her thumbs to type.
Ignoring the comment, Kyle asked, "What do you want on your pizza?"
Vicky shared the menu with him, splitting her concentration between the choices and her phone.
"You know how guys are. They like to talk about violence and killing and stuff." Connor winked at her. "And we do check each other out."
Unsure why Connor was making a statement like that, Kyle raised his head quickly and gave Connor a warning glance. Connor's grin lit up devilishly.
"Check each other out? What for?" Vicky asked, putting her cell phone on the table near her.
"Connor..." Kyle shot him another glare.
Connor said, "Never mind."
"What?" Hannah poked him with her elbow.
"Just to make sure we don't have any toilet paper stuck to our shoes." Connor gave Kyle a wink.
"Oh," they both responded flatly and went back to reading the menu and checking their phones.
When he lost the contact of the women's eyes, Kyle mouthed across the table to him, "You're going to get it."
Connor mouthed back, "Promise?"
At Connor's seductive expression, Kyle shut his mouth. Oh, Jesus...
When the pie came they dug in hungrily. For some unknown reason, Connor decided to feed everyone, holding slices in front of them for a bite. Kyle noticed he didn't eat much himself and started to wonder if he had some kind of eating disorder.
Once they were full and the pizza was down to crumbs, the men split the bill, counting out the cash for the server.
They strolled back to the sports bar, where they had picked up the girls, and where Kyle's car was parked.
"Do you guys need a ride?" Connor asked Hannah.
"We're staying in a sorority." Vicky leaned against Kyle, holding his arm tightly.
Connor shrugged. "We can drop you off there."
"Sure. Thanks." Hannah smiled.
Crap. Kyle dug for his key wishing this "date" would end.
When Kyle was behind the wheel and Vicky was beside him in the passenger's seat, Kyle turned to watch as Hannah nearly sat in Connor's lap.
After Connor closed the door, he said, "We're in, Kyle."
Nodding, Kyle started the car and kept his eye on the rear view mirror and the action behind him. Connor's arm was resting on top of the seat behind Hannah's head. Trying not to be too distracted by it, Kyle let Vicky direct him to where their sorority house was located.
Hannah snuggled against Connor and rested her head on his shoulder. As Kyle observed secretly, she kissed Connor's cheek and said, "I had a really good time. Can we do this again soon, Connor?"
"Sure." Connor caught Kyle's eyes in the mirror.
Kyle ground his jaw at the prospect of Connor having a girlfriend.
Vicky rested her hand on his thigh. "You want to see me again, Kyle?"
He glanced down at her hand first, then caught Connor's light eyes watching him in the mirror. "Sure," he replied, though he didn't want to. Kyle heard a deep sigh released from Connor and strained to see if Hannah was getting anywhere with him or the noise was in response to his answer to Vicky's question. While he was driving, there was no way to tell.
As directed, Kyle stopped the car in front of a large, beige stucco building on top of a crest in the hillside. Connor opened the back door for Hannah and they climbed out together.
Unable to prevent himself, Kyle stared as Connor leaned against the rear fender of the car and Hannah kissed him.
In the awkward silence, Vicky cleared her throat. "I had a really nice time, Kyle."
He hopped out of the driver's side and met Vicky so they were next to the Connor and Hannah.
Not really hearing her words, Kyle was focused on the way Hannah kissed Connor. The way her hand ran through his long hair. God, why couldn't I kiss him like that? Stop. Get your paws off my man!
Kyle woke up when Vicky pressed him against the car. "Do you want to exchange cell phone numbers or what?"
"Huh? Oh, sure." He told Vicky his number and she typed it into her contact list.
"You want mine?"
"Just call me and I'll add you."
Vicky giggled and dialed his number.
It was shut off inside his pocket. Kyle's stare rested on Connor. Hannah's right hand was moving towards Connor's crotch.
"Should I leave a message?" Vicky smiled.
"Uh. Sure." Kyle had an urge to separate Hannah from Connor but had to grit his teeth and bear it.
"Call me any time. So, when do you think I'll see you again?"
As Hannah increased the intensity of her fondling, she kissed Connor more passionately. In the dimness of the street light on that January night, Kyle could see Connor's jaw muscles and mouth working.
Kyle stifled a groan and grew rock hard.
"Kyle?"
"What? Oh, soon, real soon." He tried to focus on Vicky, but couldn't. Both his passion and jealousy were rising as Hannah cupped both of her hands to hold Connor's fabulous package.
"Well, goodnight." Vicky leaned closer to kiss Kyle.
Kyle went to peck her lips quickly and felt her tongue. Completely revolted, he tried to tolerate it, couldn't, and backed off. "Goodnight."
Obviously rejected, she scuffed her shoes noisily on the pavement. "Come on, Hannah. I'm tired."
Connor stepped back from Hannah instantly.
"Walk me to the door," Hannah said, holding Connor's hand.
Straining to hear, Kyle could only catch selected words from them as Connor and Hannah whispered. Maybe they were saying goodnight and making tentative plans.
Connor waved as the two women entered the sorority. Then, as if straightening himself out, Connor tucked in his shirt and smoothed his hand through his hair as he jogged back down the plateau steps.
He whacked Kyle playfully on the arm before he climbed into the car, flipping the visor down to wipe the lipstick off his face. Kyle dropped heavily behind the wheel, feeling betrayed.
When Connor was through with his task, he grinned at Kyle. "I thought it was a decent night. You like Vicky?"
Kyle fastened his seatbelt and checked the side mirror before he entered the traffic way. "She was okay."
"Not too crazy about her then? I thought she was pretty." He shrugged and sat back, latching his own seatbelt.
"She was. Very pretty."
"What didn't you like about her? Was she too shy?"
"No. I didn't say I didn't like her."
"Did you like Hannah? What do you think about her?"
"What do you think about her?"
Connor stared out of the window. "She was okay. Just average, I guess. I haven't met one woman yet that really does anything for me, you know what I mean? I guess I'm just really picky."
Kyle stopped for a red light and stared at Connor's profile. "What kind of woman are you looking for?"
"Well, she has to be drop dead gorgeous."
"Hannah has pretty blue eyes."
"A fabulous body." Connor touched his chin. "A sexual appetite like a guy."
Trying to absorb the checklist, Kyle bit his lip and moved on when the light turned green.
"Very smart, very classy. What am I missing?" Connor turned in the seat to face him.
"Money?"
"Oh, well, I don't want her in piles of debt but she doesn't have to be rich."
Strangely enough Kyle hoped he fit most the requirements perfectly. All but one.
"I'll never find her."
"You're only twenty. You will. Give it some time."
Connor sighed. "How about you? What are you looking for?"
Wondering how to answer that, he glanced over at Connor quickly, then parked in their assigned space at the apartment.
"Kyle?"
Kyle shut off the engine and climbed out. He straightened his back tiredly as Connor met him by the door. When they walked inside the lobby Connor said, "Answer my question!"
Still thinking of a reply, Kyle gestured for him to go first so he could watch his ass as he walked up the stairs. "What do I want in a partner?"
"Yes. Why won't you tell me?"
"Okay, let's see. Someone athletic, strong, honest." Connor opened their apartment door for them. The items from shopping were still on the floor where they had left them. "Tall, fit, perfection in mind and body."
"Ha! Good luck. We'll both end up single." Connor stared at the mess.
"Tomorrow." Kyle tugged his arm.
Nodding in agreement, Connor backed away from it. "Athletic and strong? That's something you want in a woman?"
Kyle wanted to tell him, he didn't say it had to be a woman. He couldn't. Not after seeing a woman fondling Connor's crotch. "I want someone to stay in shape with me. Someone to play sports with."
"That sounds like a tomboy." Connor kicked off his shoes and went to wash up.
Kyle followed him. "No, it doesn't."
"Or a man!" Connor stuck his toothbrush in his mouth.
Knowing he couldn't win this debate, Kyle lowered his head and walked to his bed to take off his shoes and socks. It was living hell. He was very sure of it. Here was the perfect man of his dreams, and totally unattainable. I have to be kidding myself. I cannot have Connor. I have to find someone who wants men.
The only problem was, the men who wanted men, in general, did not appeal to him. Connor was perfect. He was big, athletic, and absolutely gorgeous while still being masculine. Where the hell was he going to find that combination?
Connor poked his head into his room. "You showering?"
"No, go ahead. I'll go in after."
In the dimness of the room, Connor stepped closer. "You all right?"
"Just tired." Kyle pulled his polo shirt over his head.
"Tomorrow's another day off. Just homework and practice."
"Some day off." Kyle laughed sadly.
Connor sat down with him on the bed. "You sure you're okay? Did Vicky say something to upset you? She told me she wants to see you again. She really likes you."
Kyle covered with chills as Connor's hand rested on his bare shoulder. He stared into those blue eyes with an aching heart. "No, she didn't say anything to me to upset me. Go shower."
"Kyle." Connor touched his cheek, rubbing his knuckle against his coarse shadow.
Kyle closed his eyes and wanted to tell Connor not to touch him. It was tearing at him painfully. He would die if he couldn't have this man. He had to wait. Maybe Connor had some tendencies and would come around. He had to be patient.
"You sure you feel okay? Was it the pizza?" Connor moved even closer, leaning his length against Kyle.
As their bodies connected, Kyle let out a sad laugh and opened his eyes to that innocence. "I'm just tired. Really."
Staring at his face, it appeared as if Connor was desperately trying to read him. "You're sure? You can tell me anything, Kyle. I'm here for you." He hugged Kyle squeezing him tight.
Kyle was about to explode. Connor's heat, scent, hard body, all pushing against him in a loving way, Kyle had to prevent himself from shoving him down on the bed and connecting to those lips he'd yearned to kiss all night. Forcing himself to behave, he held it in and kept his features calm. "Yes, I'm sure."
Connor drew nearer still and kissed his cheek softly, lingering. A little noise escaped Connor's throat, like a sigh, or purr. Then he stood and walked off to the bathroom.
Kyle was absolutely stunned and touched the spot with his fingertips. He whispered under his breath, "Connor, I cannot figure you out."
A pile of clothing dropped at Connor's feet. The water started shortly after that. Kyle groaned in agony, quickly stripping down to his briefs and laying back on his bed to wait. Ten minutes later the shower stopped and those muscular, slender legs appeared through the beads. In agony he stared at them while he squeezed himself tight, imagining that kiss. Kyle came hard and closed his eyes. Was this what it was going to be like? Living this close to this man?
Connor emerged wrapped in his towel. "It's all yours."
"Thanks." Kyle climbed off the bed, cupping a handful of spunk, and pushed aside the beaded door. It was odd, the way Connor was staring at him. Kyle stopped and stared back curiously. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"I'm just checking to see if you look any better than before."
"Do I?"
"A little. You feel better?"
"I will after a good night's sleep."
"Okay. If you're sure." Connor caressed Kyle's jaw.
Kyle scanned his chest and towel quickly. "I'm sure."
"Goodnight, Kyle." Connor smiled at him.
"Goodnight, Connor."
~
Connor dropped the towel and crawled onto his bed. What more could he do? He had even kissed Kyle and nothing happened. Maybe he was wrong and Kyle didn't want him that way. Kyle didn't even try to connect with Vicky. And she was very sweet.
He thought Kyle was flirting a little with him tonight. How embarrassing. Connor shivered at the crossed wires.
He picked up the textbook that lay next to the bed and read it, trying not to be distracted by the sound of his roommate getting ready for bed.
Having enough of the frustrating night, the constant pretending to be straight while craving cock and ass, Connor gave up on the reading and shut the light. He curled into the pillows and closed his eyes, trying not to feel rejected.
Chapter 4
The smell of coffee wafted through the air. Inhaling deeply, Kyle sat upright as he sipped a cup, an open book at his elbows.
The pile of items on the floor was gone.
Hearing noise, Kyle raised his head as Connor walked into the living room naked.
"Hey. You didn't have to do all this yourself."
About to answer, Kyle gawked at Connor's perfect body and choked on his coffee.
"I would have helped you. What time did you get up?"
Forcing himself to make eye contact, Kyle tried to answer him intelligently. "Early. It's okay. I didn't mind."
"You nut." Connor shook his head and went into the bathroom.
Stretching to see the last glimpse of Connor's ass as he turned the corner, Kyle set his cup down and rubbed his face tiredly. He hadn't slept well last night and had gotten the place together just to kill time.
Pouring more coffee from the pot, trying to stop himself from becoming obsessed with Connor, he found a pad and made a list of more things they still needed; milk was his first entry, then he lost his concentration.
Connor returned shortly, his hair brushed, his face shaven, and his body concealed in jeans and a t-shirt. "Thanks." Connor took the mug that Kyle handed to him and poured a cup of coffee for himself. "We didn't buy any groceries like we said we were going to. We just got this coffee at Kmart."
"I know. There's no milk."
Connor grumbled and sat down. "What do you want to do today before practice?"
Fuck your brains out. "Other than food shopping, I need to do homework."
~
As he drank his coffee Connor studied this muscular jock mercilessly for a flaw. He was a little envious of Kyle's imposing confidence. Connor knew his own bravado was an act and he craved the security of a man like Kyle to keep him focused and on track.
Kyle met Connor's stare. "You want to study a little or go shopping first?" Kyle asked.
"I'm hungry. I usually eat breakfast."
"What? Two poached eggs?" Kyle asked.
"All right, enough. Can you cook? I haven't a clue how."
"A little. My mom's a really good cook. I did pick up some things watching her. I can't do anything fancy. But I can fry an egg." He laughed.
"I have no idea if my mother can cook. I've never seen her in the kitchen."
"What the hell does that mean? Did your father cook?"
Connor didn't reply, embarrassed to let on how wealthy his family was.
"Okay, let's go shopping." Kyle moved out his chair and put his cup down.
"How are we paying for this? I don't know if my mother sent me money yet."
"I'll get it. Then I'll call my mom."
"This is pathetic!"
"Relax. We're supposed to be broke. We're students." Kyle removed his wallet from his pocket.
Connor didn't even want to tell Kyle his father was the senior CEO of Worthington Highstreet Bank. Millions of dollars all out of his reach. And here he was scraping for grocery money. It was pathetic.
Kyle tapped him. "Geez, don't worry about it. I'll call my mom for some extra cash."
Connor wished he was confident enough to tell Kyle his inner thoughts and problems. He couldn't. He had an image to keep up. Standing and placing his cup in the sink, he replied, "I suppose I do worry. I'll take the morning shift. You get the night."
Connor ignored Kyle as he tilted his head curiously at him. When they managed to get themselves together, they left the apartment to take care of the rest of their chores.
~
An hour later they were sitting quietly, reading and making notes for class. Connor checked the time. "We should head over to practice."
Kyle raised his head. "Yeah. I need a break. We'll get back to this after."
Stiff from being seated too long, Connor stood up and stretched his arms over his head, yawning. "God! It's such boring shit."
"I know." Kyle caught a peek of Connor's belly button and soft abdomen hair.
"Let's go, Mr. Baker." Connor hauled Kyle up to his feet. "I have gas left in the tank."
"Good. You drive," Kyle said.
"We could just jog there."
"Jog there?"
"Yeah. Why not?"
"Because we'll have to jog back and I'll be exhausted."
"It'll save gas. Intramural field isn't that far." Connor poked him. "Lazy jock."
"You suck." Kyle went to change into his running shorts.
"You'll thank me," Connor replied.
When they were both in gym shorts and tank tops, Kyle tried not to ogle Connor's amazing body.
"You need to warm up?" Connor asked him, stretching to touch his toes, giving Kyle a good view of his ass.
Great, now I have a hard-on. "No, let's just head there."
As Connor shut off the lights in the apartment, Kyle made sure he had his key. Once out in the fresh cool air, they kept a good pace in the brilliant sunshine and high sixties temperature.
"I'm too tired. I slept like crap," Kyle complained.
"Stop whining. You need to burn extra calories with all you eat."
"Hey! I'm not fat, asshole!"
"I didn't say you were fat. You're perfect. I just said you need to."
"Did you say I was perfect?" They jogged in place waiting for a traffic signal to change.
As if checking out his physique, Connor made a circle around him and nodded. "Yes. Perfect."
The light turned green and Connor jogged across the street. Kyle caught up quickly and was next to him again. "Why am I perfect?" Kyle was intrigued.
"Because you don't have an ounce of fat on you and I can count the muscles in your egg-carton abs. What? Is that what you want me to tell you?"
"I don't know. I never thought of my body as perfect, that's all. And I can't believe a guy is telling me that."
"Think I'm hot for it?" Connor grinned.
The Wooden Center came into view.
"I don't know? Are you?" Kyle grinned back. He knew Connor was playing. He always knew it.
Seductively, Connor whispered, "Oh yes, I want your body, Baker. Give it to me."
Expecting the opposite, Kyle choked in surprise as Connor suddenly opened up and sprinted. No matter how hard Kyle tried, he could not catch him, much less overtake him.
Connor slowed down when he met their teammates warming up on the field. He caught his breath and waited for Kyle.
"Jesus, you run fast!" Kyle leaned over his knees to gasp.
"You're slow 'cause of your fatty diet." Connor snorted at him and made pig oinks.
Kyle took off running to catch Connor, racing to the locker room. They dressed in their pads and uniforms, grabbed their crosse sticks and headed to the field.
~
Two hours later, coated in sweat, Kyle followed Connor into the locker room.
Connor hadn't said a word to him during the scrimmage. After a long, solemn moment, Connor met Kyle's eyes. They were filled with liquid as if Connor was about to cry.
Watching Connor carefully, trying to figure out what could be wrong, Kyle hurried after him. When he entered the echoing chamber of the changing room, he found Connor seated in front of his locker with his head in his hands.
Staring down at him, Kyle asked quietly, "Connor...what is it?"
"Nothing. Leave me alone."
"I don't get it. You were awesome out there." Kyle began removing his gear.
"Awesome?" Connor snarled in rage.
The intensity of the anger startled Kyle. "What am I missing? You scored three goals? For Christ's sake, you should be patting yourself on the back. Are you insane?"
As if he were enduring something painful, Connor covered his face again.
Completely baffled by this show of emotion, Kyle knelt in front of him and rubbed his legs gently. "You have to tell me why you're upset. I can't help you if I don't know."
Very slowly Connor lowered his hands. His eyes were red and watery. In a low hoarse voice he whispered, "Didn't you see it?"
Disoriented by the comment and completely taken aback by Connor's pure fury, Kyle felt a wave of dizziness. "See what?"
Connor gazed around the area first, before he snarled, "Ross fucking bodychecked me in the fucking groin." Connor cupped his crotch. "When I shoved him back, I got called out for fucking pushing and hit with the penalty."
Kyle strained to think of when the attack occurred. "I didn't even see you react from the hit."
"Kyle, believe me. I was hit hard. And the douche-bag did it on purpose." Connor gave the immediate area another scan.
"Jesus. You should have at least doubled over in pain! How did you stand it, Connor?"
Connor didn't reply at first, then through clenched teeth, he snarled, "I'm the fucking 'captain' now. I gotta set an example, don't I?"
"Not when ya get hit in the nuts with a lacrosse stick, ya don't." Kyle grew angry. "You should have told Coach Banks. And if you won't I will."
When Kyle went to stand up, Connor gripped his arm and yanked him back down. "Don't."
"Why?"
"Because. I don't need any shit, Kyle. Let me just recover a minute. Stay here."
Judging by the look of apprehension on Connor's face, Kyle knew he needed to just be there for Connor. He sat on the bench next to his friend and whispered, "When? I swear I didn't see it."
"Last five minutes." Connor cringed as he tried to sit straight.
Suddenly remembering the referee calling the penalty on Connor, Kyle had thought it was odd for Connor to just push Ross from behind the way he did, but didn't give it a second guess. Connor was the captain and best player on the team. It certainly wasn't up to Kyle to judge his actions.
Kyle glanced over his shoulder. Ross Cartmen stood at the end of the row of lockers, a towel around his hips, a sneer of contempt on his lips.
"What the fuck are you lookin at?" Kyle challenged.
Connor instantly spun around to Ross.
"Two faggots." Ross' top lip curled in revulsion.
"What?" Kyle felt his skin go icy at the terrifying accusation. He flew to his feet with revenge on his mind.
A hand on his arm held him back.
"Fuck off, Cartmen," Connor yelled. "Haven't you done enough damage to me already?"
"Good, ya fucking cock-sucker."
Kyle whipped his head back and forth between his roommate's emotional and physical pain to the callous accusation and Ross vanishing behind the row of lockers.
"What the fuck?" Kyle began blowing out air like a bellows as his anger rose.
Reluctantly, Connor stood up and began removing his uniform and pads.
Knowing an intentional illegal slash of the stick had nailed him right in the groin, Kyle cringed at seeing how uncomfortable his friend was.
When Connor got to the point where he removed his jockstrap and cup, they both seemed to hold their breath.
A reddish bruise had begun to emerge around the edges of where the plastic had protected Connor's crotch. But Kyle knew how painful a powerful strike between the legs could be, even with the cup.
"How could no one see it?" Kyle moaned. "Coach would have chewed out his ass. It was obviously intentional." He smoothed his hand over Connor's back gently.
Connor flinched at Kyle's affectionate caress and spun around as if checking they were not spied.
Then Kyle remembered the labeling. Fags? What on earth had they done to make Ross think they were gay? Jesus. He'd just arrived on campus winter quarter, and other than his long hair, Connor was Mr. Macho. It didn't make sense.
A lump formed in his throat in sympathy. Kyle was miserable about it. It was so heartless and cruel. Born out of jealousy no doubt for Connor's beauty and his talent. And of course it came right on the heels of coach's announcement that Connor was now a captain. Kyle bit his lip on his anguish and whispered, "We need to get some ice on you."
"I'm not icing my goddamn nuts." Connor's sensuous pout appeared. "But thanks, Kyle."
Touching him lightly, yet briefly, in reassurance, Kyle waited as Connor managed to find his towel and walk slowly to the showers.
~
Connor stood under the hot spraying water, trying not to let the events on the field depress him. He'd been a target all his life and hated it. He glanced at his new best friend as he washed himself quietly right next to him. Well, at least I have one person in my life that looks after me.
Kyle's expression was stern as he returned Connor's stare. They finished rinsing and walked together back to their lockers. Connor was hunched over from exhaustion, mentally and physically. He flinched as he drew his briefs up over the red tender circle around his groin. After a deep inhale to relax, Connor lowered his head and kept dressing.
~
Kyle felt badly for him. Poor Connor seemed so burdened all the time. After another peek around the locker room, Kyle softly caressed Connor's long, wet hair, all the while keeping alert for anyone else that might see them.
Connor closed his eyes and paused as if savoring the loving care.
When he thought he heard a noise, Kyle withdrew his hand and finished tying his shoelaces, remembering they hadn't driven to practice.
Scuffing his feet to the open air, Kyle groaned and peered over at Connor. "It's gonna be a long walk, Worthington."
"Stop whining." Connor tied his running shoes tighter. "I can run. I'm fine."
"Stop playing martyr."
"I'm not. I'm fine now." Connor stood tall and stretched his hamstrings. "I'll make you an offer."
Kyle was intrigued.
With a wry smile on his lips, Connor whispered, "If you beat me, I'll give you a backrub."
Kyle brightened. "Yeah? A backrub?"
"Yeah." Connor grinned impishly.
"What if you win?" Kyle crossed his arms over his chest.
"Then you have to give me one."
Kyle liked the deal. Either way, he won. "Are you sure you're not too sore?"
"Yes. Ready?" Connor got set.
"You mean race the whole way? Oh, come on, how about the last one hundred yards?"
"Set?"
"Connor!"
"See ya!" Connor took off.
With a groan of agony, Kyle went running after him. It was five p.m. and the streets and sidewalks were full of commuters and pedestrians. Kyle groaned wearily as he dodged around people trying to keep that tight bottom in sight. Even though he was fighting fit, he was pumping hard and knew he would burn out way before the last heat. How the hell did Connor do it? His pride at stake, Kyle had to beat him or at least tie! He set his jaw, determined to try.
~
The smack to his manhood from Ross Cartmen still echoing in his ears, and crotch, Connor had to act tough. Though he was beginning to trust Kyle, they had only known each other a short time. If Kyle rejected him because he thought he was gay, Connor would be hurt much worse than a lacrosse stick to the nuts.
Looking back for Kyle, Connor thought he had a good lead on him. Like the hare in the famous fable, he slowed to a more comfortable pace and waited for a light.
When Kyle went blazing passed him through an opening in the traffic, Connor grew frustrated waiting for another clearing in the congestion. "Hey! Unfair!" Connor darted across the busy street, trying to catch up.
Their building came into view. With the end near, Connor could tell Kyle was digging in trying to force his legs to move faster.
Struggling to keep up, Connor was enraged. Kyle had cheated! He had gone through a red light! Connor opened his stride and gained on him. Seeing Kyle was almost at their lobby door, Connor noticed him weakening. Kyle's pace had changed as if his legs were giving out. It was the break Connor needed, so he went into overdrive.
Just as Kyle reached for the railing of the front entrance to tag it, Connor was there a split second behind him.
Kyle gasped for air.
Connor bent over and sucked in oxygen as well, then shouted as he choked, "You cheated!"
"Did not!" Kyle panted in obvious spasms of pain. "You never made rules!"
"That light!" Connor tried to point.
"Tough! I won!" Kyle held out his key, struggling to stick it in the lock. Someone was coming out of the building at the same time and held the door open them.
"Did not! You forfeit!" Connor started to catch his breath.
"Did too! Fair and square!"
"Not! Not fair or square!"
"Shut up! You lost!" Kyle coughed and had trouble talking. He opened their apartment door and cranked up the air conditioner, walking the length of the apartment to open the windows.
The moment he was inside, Connor collapsed on the floor and tried to get his breath back. He bent his knees and groaned. His crotch was on fire from the pain of the injury.
Kyle returned from the kitchen, downing a glass of water.
"I won. You know you cheated." Connor pointed up at him.
"You're a sore loser, Worthington."
"Get me some water, dipshit."
Predictably, Kyle poured his remainder on him.
Finding some reserved energy, Connor rolled out of the way and went after him. Kyle had nowhere to run in the small place. "Stop! I can't breathe," Kyle cried when Connor pinned him against a wall.
"Shower. Get out of my way." Connor nudged him.
"My turn. You always go first."
"Aaaugh!" Connor cried in agony.
"You're the one that wanted to race two miles!"
"God, I have to go lay down." Connor headed to his room and dropped onto the bed. His body was throbbing in pain and he felt light-headed.
~
Kyle shook his head at Connor and stripped for the shower. Just after he stepped into the cool water, he jumped out of his skin as Connor came in to use the toilet. "What the fuck are you doing?"
"Taking a pee. What the fuck does it look like?"
"I'm in the fucking shower!"
"I won't peek. Wait, don't we shower together in the locker room?"
"What the hell does that mean?" Kyle was shaking from exertion and nerves.
"It means we've seen each other naked. Get over it."
"Don't flush! The water temperature will change."
"Heh heh..." Connor put his hand on the lever.
Kyle opened the sliding door a crack to peer out, spotting that maniacal grin. Kyle cracked up with laughter and couldn't remember having this much fun with anyone ever before.
Connor watched him double over with laughter and stood back with his arms crossed as if he was enjoying it.
"Oh, Connor, I haven't laughed this hard in my life!" He tried to stop the hilarity and stuck his face under the water spray.
"You enjoying yourself?" Connor smiled.
"Uh, yes...no..." Kyle stuck his head out at him again. "Why? What are you going to do to me?"
"Do to you?" Connor lifted his shirt over his head. "I want to shower and get the stinking sweat off my body. How long are you planning on being in there?"
"I don't rush you out." Kyle grabbed the shampoo. "Don't just stand there and watch me. Are you nuts?"
"You're the only form of entertainment at the moment."
Kyle scrubbed his hair and thought about Connor wanting to watch him take a shower. "I'd invite you in, but you might like it," Kyle said.
Connor broke up laughing. Kyle slid back the door again to see him.
"Yes! I just might." He shook his head and left the room.
"Damn," Kyle sighed with disappointment, then closed the sliding door, as confused as usual.
After he'd shaved and brushed his teeth he came out wrapped in a towel and gestured for Connor. "All yours."
"Thanks."
Kyle noticed Connor had been at the books again. As if he were stiff from sitting too long, Connor stood up and took his turn in the bathroom. Kyle paused as Connor stripped and stepped into the tub. He was beginning to adore him. Way too much.
Tearing his eyes away from the naked blur behind the shower doors, Kyle headed to his room to dress.
~
While under the hot water, Connor massaged his aching pelvis, trying to soothe the area where the cup had smashed into him. Getting an erection as he played with himself, he peered out to see if Kyle was around or could peek in. Connor spread his legs and jacked off, imagining Kyle's naked body as he did.
Finished showering and wearing only a pair of gym shorts, Connor blow-dried his hair, then shaved.
Feeling better, he was ready for more studying. The scent of food made him sniff the air curiously. Connor followed his nose to the kitchen. He looked over Kyle's shoulder as he cooked. "Wow."
Kyle smiled and peeked over at him. "Hungry?"
"Starved!"
"Set the table."
While Connor hunted around for silverware and dishes, Kyle poured orange juice for them both.
"That really looks great, Kyle. I'm impressed."
Kyle removed a casserole of lasagna from the microwave oven and put out a bowl of garden salad.
"Shit! You really can cook." Connor sat down eagerly as Kyle served him. Connor waited for Kyle to join him, beaming at Kyle proudly. Lifting his juice glass up for a toast, he said, "To our first homemade meal."
"Completely vegetarian." Kyle tapped his glass, watching while Connor groaned at the flavor.
"Awesome."
When Connor had cleaned his plate quickly, Kyle appeared stunned. "I guess you really did like it."
"I did. You're fantastic."
Kyle's eyes grew wide. "Thank you, Connor."
"No! Thank you. I mean it." Connor took another helping of salad.
When they were finished, Connor offered to clean up. He washed the dishes and put away everything that was on the table. As he dried his hands, he noticed Kyle was at his books again. Connor sat down beside him on the sofa and flipped open a textbook, highlighting and making notes.
Hours later their silence became mixed with yawns.
Connor checked his watch. "Christ. It's almost eleven. You close to finishing?"
Stretching his back, Kyle stifled a yawn. "Do we ever get done with this crap?"
"Call it a night. Come here."
Kyle closed his book and followed Connor curiously.
"Go lay down on your bed. Take off your shirt."
"The rub? We weren't serious. Wasn't it just a joke?"
"No. I'll give you a backrub. It's the least I could do. You made dinner. And sort of won---cheated," he coughed the word, "the race."
Kyle took his shirt off over his head. "I didn't cheat."
"Sure ya didn't. We'll run that again tomorrow and see who wins."
Tossing his shirt down, Kyle lay against the brand new sheets and pillows as Connor left the room and came back again quickly.
"Hurry I'm about to snooze on my pillows," Kyle moaned. "And shut the air conditioning and windows. Brr! Now it's cold in here."
"Got it." Connor raced around the apartment. "I'm back."
"Why are you rubbing your hands together? Are you cold too?"
"No. I have a dab of olive oil. It'll be good for your skin."
"Olive oil? Don't get me all greasy."
"No, just a touch." Connor rubbed it into his hands and sat next to Kyle on the bed.
"Oh, my God." Kyle groaned in pleasure as Connor began the massage.
Connor had never done this to anyone before and wanted to make it wonderful. To show his appreciation, he worked Kyle's neck and shoulders in all the places he thought it would feel good on himself. Hearing Kyle's soft moans and deep breaths assured him it must be satisfying. He took his time, enjoying touching Kyle, hopefully as much as Kyle was enjoying the release. As he squeezed Kyle's muscular shoulders, Connor smiled to himself contentedly. He'd never had a friend like this, one he could feel totally relaxed with and be confident enough to touch him without being accused of anything lewd. It was absolutely amazing.
~
Kyle was in heaven. He floated above the clouds and imagined after the rub they would get naked and kiss for an hour, then make soft, slow passionate love. Connor would then sleep in his arms and they'd wake up together. Those hands...ohhh, those hands were touching him. Caressing him lovingly. He was falling. Falling hard.
~
Connor brushed his fingertips over Kyle lightly. He thought Kyle may have drifted off to sleep. Assuming he had, Connor dug his hands through Kyle's thick brown waves, loving the rich chocolate color and feathery soft texture. With sensual longing and care, he massaged Kyle's head and scalp and then combed his fingers through the ringlets that formed in back.
Hearing Kyle's deep breathing, Connor leaned over to whisper, "Goodnight, Kyle." Quietly, he slipped to the bathroom to wash the trace of oil off his hands, then brush his teeth. He turned off the lights, made sure the door was locked, then stripped for bed.
Connor reclined in his crisp, newly outfitted bed and inhaled in contentment. He liked this arrangement. Very much. He had his new best friend with him now. They would be inseparable. It was wonderful. He reached down between his legs and smoothed his hand up and down his cock until it hardened. He couldn't get enough of jacking off thinking about him.
Imagining Kyle making love to him, he folded back the sheets and worked himself until he came. He grabbed a tissue and cleaned up, then curled into the sheets. It was fantastic, absolutely fantastic.
Chapter 5
Connor went to the bank first thing Monday morning to check his balance. He had begged for a laptop but his father refused, telling him there were computers in the library. When he found five hundred dollars in his account he sighed with relief and headed to class. In biology class he met Jean eagerly awaiting him. She filled him in on the dorm room gossip and the fact that Gus couldn't get another roommate after Connor had left.
"You put up with him for a whole year," she said.
"He was a really nice guy. Just messy." Connor glanced up at the clock and found a seat.
Jean sat in the chair next to him. "Do you want me to let you know when the floor has another party?"
He shrugged. "If you'd like. I really need to focus on my studies. I have a full credit load as it is, plus lacrosse."
"Your hair's really getting long. I like it that way. Will you let it keep growing?"
Connor reached for the ends, tugging on them to check its length. It was well past his shoulders now and he had no intention of cutting it. It was another way of rebelling against his father. He kept imagining him shouting, "You look like a fucking girl! Get a haircut!"
Well, he didn't have to cut it now, did he? "I don't know." He smiled at her sweetly. "You think I should? Do I look like a rock star?"
As if she couldn't stop herself from reaching for it, she brushed it back from his face. "I love it long."
"Me too." He grinned impishly. "Totally Mickey Finn."
"Who the heck is that?"
"The T. Rex guy."
"Never heard of him."
Connor gave her a campy, glamorous pose, pursing his lips and making kissing noises. "Learn your rock history, lady."
"I bet you're way better looking than him." She whacked his shoulder playfully.
He blinked. "No way!"
"Yes, way!" She grabbed a handful of his hair.
"Well, check him out first on the computer before you judge." He thought that guy was fucking gorgeous.
The instructor tried to get the class started, calling for them to open their books. Jean released her hold on Connor's long locks and asked, "You never return my text messages. When are you going to?"
Instead of answering, he just laughed softly, focusing on the professor as the lecture began.
~
Kyle sat in class trying to pay attention. He kept scribbling C.A.W. over and over again in the margins of his notebook. The back massage. The incident when Connor was watching him in the shower. Should he try something? No. Yes. No. Would he blow it? No. He had to wait for Connor to do it. Was Connor sending him some kind of signal when he gave him a massage? That was a signal, wasn't it?
"Mr. Baker?"
In anguish Kyle raised his head quickly at the professor's voice. He swallowed nervously and took a peek around. The class was waiting for his answer. "Could you repeat the question, please?" Kyle asked meekly.
~
Connor packed his books and left the hall for his lunch break. The sun was filtered through a layer of clouds. He closed his jacket and headed to the Bruin café to buy a sandwich.
"Connor!"
He turned over his left shoulder to find Hannah catching up to him.
"Hey, handsome."
"Hey." He smiled and received her peck on the cheek.
"You headed to lunch?"
"Yes, you headed to work?"
"Yup. Walk me there?"
"Sure." He figured a veggie burger was just as good as a sandwich.
She held his hand and they strolled briskly across the campus. "I'm glad I caught up to you. Do you ever turn your cell phone on or check your messages?"
"No. I'm too busy with classes and lacrosse. Sorry." He smiled to soften the blow.
"What are you doing tonight?"
"I was planning on staying in and studying or hitting the library computer. Why?"
"No reason. I just wanted to see you. Should we plan something for the weekend?"
When they came to a cross street, he hit the walk button a few times as they waited for the signal to change. "Uh, can I get back to you?"
"I suppose. You got plans?"
"I was thinking of stopping home. Just for a few hours to see my mom. I have a game on Saturday, but it's scheduled for ten."
She laughed at him.
When the light changed he walked across the street. "What?"
"A mama's boy? I never would have guessed that."
At the nasty comment Connor took deep insult. He shook off her hand and replied, "Yeah, okay. What-fucking-ever."
"I'm teasing. Where's home? I assume it's local."
"It's just a two hour drive. Too local." Connor suddenly had second thoughts about eating at the noisy sports bar, wanting to read his textbook.
"You want a veggie burger and a beer?" She entered the bar.
"No beer. Not when I still have an afternoon of classes. But I wouldn't mind a veggie burger." He held the door open for her and followed her in.
~
Kyle searched around campus for Connor. He had forgotten to ask Connor for his schedule to see if they overlapped classes, as if it may seem odd like he was being clingy.
After searching the café and the library, he had a thought. Hannah. He checked the time and wondered if it would seem like he was following Connor around. Well, shit, he could just pass by. He didn't have to go in if he found him.
Kyle walked to the sports bar at a good pace and pressed his nose against the glass front. There was his roommate, sitting by himself. Kyle didn't give it a second thought. He opened the door and stood behind him. Connor had an open book in front of him and a burger minus three bites.
Kyle reached over his shoulder and stole one of his french fries from his plate. Connor glanced up, realized it was him, and scolded, "Hey!"
"Hey back." Kyle sat across the table from him. "Where's Hannah?"
"Working. You eat yet?"
"No." Kyle ate another one of his fries.
When Connor caught Hannah's eye, he waved her over. "Meat man is here." He nodded to Kyle.
"Got any raw cow? Bloody?" Without a second thought, Kyle drank from Connor's glass as well.
"Yech, raw cow." Connor crinkled his nose. "Give him some vegetables. He needs the roughage."
Hannah began laughing. "Kyle, what do you want, really?"
Oh? You want to know what I really want? After peeking at Connor and grinning wickedly, he was about to admit what he really wanted, but chickened out. "How about a cheeseburger?"
"Coming up." She left to place the order.
"You want the rest of my fries, fatso?"
"Fatso?" Kyle leaned across the table and made a face at Connor. Just being in this man's company made him high, particularly when it was unexpected. "I was 'perfect' yesterday."
Connor wiggled a french fry towards Kyle and made a funny face back at him. Once he stretched closer, Connor fed him, smiling at him.
"I'm lean and mean, Worthington. A lean mean fighting machine. Not a dainty vegetarian."
"Oh, screw you. Broaden your horizons. There's nothing wrong with being environmentally conscious."
"When have I not been environmentally conscious? Just because I ordered a burger?"
"Cow. Never mind. You're clueless."
"Teach me, sensei." Kyle ate more of his fries.
"Teach you? I think you know more than you let on, Mr. Lean-Mean-Fighting-Machine." Connor's lips curled into a wicked smirk.
Kyle's dick became instantly aroused, but when wasn't it near this god? "What do I know, Mr. Vegan?"
Connor leaned over the table to him purring, "Why don't you tell me?"
About to peck those full lips and tell him he was gorgeous, Kyle ended up just staring blankly into Connor's blue eyes.
"You in another world again, Baker?" Connor laughed at him and lifted his sandwich for another bite.
It felt weird, their posture, so Kyle slouched in his chair, creating more space between them. "Careful, I'll spank you if you tease me. Is that a veggie burger again?"
"What do you think? Wanna bite?"
Kyle flinched back.
Connor laughed at his reaction. "I bet when your mother told you to eat your vegetables or you wouldn't grow big and strong you laughed at her."
When Hannah arrived with a drink for him, Kyle thanked her for the ice water and asked her for a cola. Once she'd left Kyle drew closer to Connor again. "Why do you say that?"
"Because you're big and strong, you moron."
Kyle grinned at him in pleasure. "I like vegetables. I'm just giving you a hard time."
"Oh?" Connor raised his eyebrow at him.
"That reminds me. I have to pee." As Kyle raced to the men's room he suddenly realized he'd made a connection between the word "hard" and his urge to urinate. "Nah. He'll never notice that." Kyle pushed the door back on the men's room.
~
Connor watched Kyle go, indeed wondering about the connection of "hard time" and having to take a piss. Before he came to a conclusion Hannah brought Kyle's plate over with his cola.
"Vicky is dying for a second date with Kyle. You think you could convince him?" Hannah asked.
Before he answered, Connor glanced over his shoulder to make sure Kyle didn't overhear. "I don't know. If he didn't like her..." He shrugged.
"Did he say he didn't?"
"No. He said she was okay." He checked behind him again.
"Oh. Well, try then. She's really got it bad for him."
"He is incredible." Connor smiled.
"Huh?" Hannah tilted her head.
"Relax. Just because I can recognize the fact that he's attractive doesn't mean I want his dick up my ass."
Her eyes went wide as ping-pong balls, and she choked in surprise. "Man, you must be very sure of your manhood to say a thing like that!"
"I am." Screw you. Seeing her still ruminating over whether he was or wasn't a queer, Connor pouted in exaggeration to play it up, asking, "Shouldn't I say what I feel? I thought women liked sensitive guys."
"Don't worry. We do. You're adorable." She kissed his hair and went back to waiting tables.
He thought about it. Maybe he should shut his mouth and keep his ideas to himself. His luck Hannah would figure out he didn't want to see her again and spread gossip across campus. He already was suffering with a bruised groin because someone on the team thought he was gay.
Kyle returned and began to devour his burger hungrily.
"Mom came through. Five hundred in the bank," Connor said.
"Wow!" Kyle replied with his mouth full.
"You call yours?"
Kyle sucked down his cola and nodded. "Yup. She promised more cash by Wednesday."
"Cool. Well, we're all set. Can you think of anything else we need, while we're cash rich?"
Kyle sat back in his chair as he chewed. "A TV?"
Connor crinkled his nose. "I hate those things. Besides we need to study."
"Music?"
"Bingo! Need tunes."
"After class meet me and we'll pick up some speakers for my IPOD."
"What kind of music do you like?"
"I don't know. A little bit of everything." Kyle finished his burger.
Connor looked at him in astonishment at how quickly the food was consumed.
Kyle guzzled his cola and said, "Hey, maybe you can give me your class schedule, you know, in case I need to find you for something."
Without hesitation, Connor dug through his folder again and handed it to Kyle. "Can you copy it? I still need it a little."
Kyle wiped his hands on a napkin and took it. "I'll just jot it down." He started scribbling in his pad quickly.
When Kyle was through writing Connor cleared his throat. "Can I...can I have yours too?" Connor felt his cheeks go red.
Kyle grinned. As if he had anticipated the request, he handed Connor a copy. "It's yours. I made an extra."
"Oh! Great." Connor compared it to his own. "They overlap nicely. Hell, you're in two of my classes."
Kyle read over the pages side by side. "I think that's because we have the same practice schedule." Once he folded up the paperwork, Kyle polished off his french fries.
"I was thinking of taking a fencing class."
"Fencing?" Kyle tried not to laugh at him. "I took it once in high school. What a dorky sport."
"I took it in high school too. Dorky? It's refined. You really are a dipshit."
"A late dipshit." Kyle checked his watch and dug for cash.
"Shit!" Connor shoved his books into his backpack.
As they threw money on the table, Hannah came rushing over. "So? When can we get together?"
"Gotta run. We're late!" Connor pecked her cheek.
"Call!" she shouted as they hustled out.
Connor tried not to break into a sweat as they jogged back to the campus. "See ya at practice!" Connor waved and caught Kyle's wave back.
Finally making it to his building, Connor slowed down. He found the right classroom and sat in his seat, catching his breath. When he had the chance he flipped open his notebook and read Kyle's schedule. He took out his own and tried to see where he could find Kyle between classes. He smiled to himself. Kyle was certainly giving him the impression he was committed to their friendship. A warm sensation spread across his chest at the thought. Shaken from his fantasy, Connor looked up when the instructor came into class and called them all to get out their work.
~
After class was done for the day, Connor opened his locker and laid out his lacrosse uniform and pads. Deep in thought, checking to see if he was still bruised from the illegal hit he got, Connor slid off his shorts and found his jock strap and cup. After adjusting it, he tugged his uniform bottoms up to cover it.
One of his teammates, Kevin Brown, came up and elbowed him softly. "Don't look behind you, but Mulhouse is getting off on your ass."
Connor caught Kevin's sneer of disgust. After battling his gut reaction to punch Kevin in his homophobic face, he said, "You have got to be kidding," dreading getting the permanent label of fag while on the playfield. It had already cost him a sore groin, and he didn't need the aggravation. Or worse, word getting back to his father.
While Connor kept his eye on Kevin, he could almost feel Donald Mulhouse's gaze on him and was afraid to turn around and meet it.
As if trying not to be overheard, Kevin peeked at Mulhouse quickly before whispering into Connor's ear, "I think he's a major homo. I don't like him watching us change."
At the horrible comments, Connor had to turn away to hide his reddening cheeks. He tried to be discreet and grab his shoulder pads off the bench. Donald Mulhouse caught his eye and smiled brightly. Connor gave him a shy one back and asked Kevin, "You sure? He seems fine to me."
"Whatever, Worthington." Kevin shrugged. "The guy looks like a homo to everyone else. And with your long hair, you're starting to look like one too."
A shiver passed over Connor's back in warning. What the hell does a "homo" look like, you fucking asshole? The urge to kick Kevin's ass for being an ignorant bastard was strong.
Connor knew he had to hide his deepest desires in a place in his heart where no one would find it. Or at least he hoped no one would. After the threats to Donald, just the implication that he could be a homosexual brought so much fear and anxiety to him, he felt himself get physically sick thinking about it.
Keep hidden. Hide, he had told himself ever since he was a child. If people know what you really are, they'll hate you.
A moment later, Kyle came in and set his book pack down. "Hey." He nodded to Kevin and Connor, then started working his locker combination.
Before Kevin left to change into his own uniform, Kevin tilted his head to Connor in a silent communication of conspiracy and walked away. Deeply disturbing thoughts about the conversation were plaguing Connor as he adjusted his shoulder and arm pads in silence.
"What'd Kevin want?" Kyle stepped out of his jeans and stuffed them into his locker.
Unable to tell Kyle the truth, Connor swallowed down a dry throat. The entire content of the derogatory remarks from Kevin sickened Connor.
While Kyle waited for an answer, he arranged his jockstrap and cup, then grabbed his uniform shorts. "Connor?"
Connor glimpsed back over his shoulder again. Donald Mulhouse was no longer there. In relief, Connor let out a loud exhale.
Kyle laughed at him. "You are so weird."
Desperate to divert any suspicion of being gay away from him, Connor said, "No, Kyle, listen. Kevin told me that Donald Mulhouse was watching me change."
"So?"
"So? Come on, Kyle."
His expression turning blank, Kyle finished dressing, facing his open locker.
"Kyle?" Connor nudged him.
"What?"
"He probably watches you too."
Kyle sighed and faced him. "Look, Connor, I don't care if a guy's gay. What he does in his own bedroom is none of my business. To be honest, I'm a little surprised at you for that attitude, Mr. Environmentalist-Open-Minded-Vegetable-Man."
His mouth gaped but nothing coming out. Connor didn't know how to react. He wanted to agree with Kyle, but was mortified of being seen through, even by his best friend. "I don't give a shit what he does in his own bedroom. You know me better than that. But I do give a shit if he gets off on me." He sat down and put his cleats on.
"What the fuck do you care? It isn't hurting you."
"Kyle!" Connor was unprepared for Kyle's strong opinion, and never expected it. Wasn't Kyle a macho-jock?
Kyle continued dressing. "And you don't even know if he's gay. You just pinned a label on the guy. Maybe he just likes you as his captain or a friend. Maybe he didn't look at you that way at all and Kevin is a total homophobe."
Stunned at the defensiveness he was hearing, Connor's mouth continued to hang open.
His cheeks turning red, Kyle shut his.
A sudden feeling of paranoia washed over Connor. He checked to see if they were overheard. "Lower your voice. Are you nuts? Even if you want to defend the guy, don't let everyone else hear you. They'll think we're gay as well. Do you want an illegal whack to the nuts too, Kyle?"
Connor could see Kyle's jaw muscles twitch as he ground his teeth. Kyle slammed his locker shut, finished dressing, and stormed out.
As Connor sat absorbing the aftermath, knowing Kyle had gotten the wrong idea, he felt even sicker.
He tied his laces and caught up to Kyle, stopping him in the hallway that led to the field. They waited for others to pass and then Connor whispered, "You know I love the knight in shining armor in you, Kyle." He made Kyle meet his eye. "I just want you to be more discreet. The guys like you. Be careful, please."
As if he were about to explode, Kyle closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
Connor took a second quick look around, and then made sure Kyle was listening to him. "There's only one guy I'll allow to look at my naked ass." He heard Kyle choke in shock, and nudged Kyle to get out to the field. "Got it, Kyle?"
Kyle widened his eyes but didn't say a word as Connor smiled at him lovingly. "You're a riot, Connor."
Obviously still absorbing the comment, Kyle followed Connor outside. Yeah, I'm a regular barrel of laughs.
Maybe Kyle would be okay with it. Maybe Connor should tell him he wasn't joking. He felt a tiny ray of hope at the chance of love.
~
They showered and changed after the scrimmage and walked out to Kyle's car. Connor tossed his backpack into the back seat and settled into the front as Kyle started the motor and backed out of the parking space.
"Hannah wants me to put pressure on you to go out with Vicky again. What should I tell her?" Connor asked, testing the "gay" waters.
"That I'm not interested."
"Oh, okay." Connor felt relieved that Kyle wasn't keen on going out with her again.
Kyle caught his eye, then focused back on the road.
Just to throw more fodder out there for a better clue, Connor moaned comically, "I need to get laid. I want someone to rip my clothing off and hump me raw." Connor rubbed his crotch, keeping his attention on his good friend while he did.
After a sharp inhale and a cough, Kyle took a look at Connor, and his hand action.
To top it off, Connor gave Kyle his most demonic grin.
They drove in silence until Kyle parked in their spot at the apartment. Once Kyle shut off the engine he asked, "Have you ever have someone do that to you? You know. Hump you raw?"
"Nah. Hey, I can dream, can't I?" Connor laughed and climbed out, reaching for his pack.
"You like being taken? I mean, not playing the aggressor?" Kyle locked up the car and followed Connor to the lobby.
Connor knew his ass was being watched as he climbed the apartment stairs. He wiggled it seductively and said, "Yes. I think that would be my preferred style. I want to be dominated, you know. Maybe be even a bit kinky. I need someone very strong to turn me on." Connor paused for a reply. None came.
"Well," he continued, "I don't have much experience in anything really. I screwed a cheerleader once in high school and got my dick sucked a couple of times. That's it." Connor opened the door to their unit and turned on the light. By guys, but you don't have to know that.
~
As if he were in class, Kyle absorbed the information hungrily. Connor wanted to be dominated? It was too perfect. He thought about the last sentence Connor had said and replied, "Really? That's it for all your sexual experiences?" Kyle dropped his things on the floor and sat on the beat-up old sofa that came with the apartment.
Connor laughed at his expression. "Yes. What did you think? I was some Romeo or something?"
"Yes. I figured you balled your way through school."
"No. I was always too busy with academics and sports. I had to keep my grades up or my father would get crazy."
"Why am I doubting that very much?" Kyle laughed and kicked his shoes off. "How could you only have screwed once and had one or two blowjobs? No way."
"I'm tellin' the truth." Connor headed to the kitchen. "I'm starving."
Once he heard Connor open the refrigerator, Kyle got up and joined him. "Have a bowl of cereal," Kyle suggested.
"Good idea." Connor took a bowl out of the cabinet. "You joining me?"
"Sure." Kyle grabbed the box of cereal and set it on the table.
"I really don't know much about what women want, Kyle." Connor took the milk out of the refrigerator. "Like I said, if they just sit there and expect me to do something, it's kind of a turn off. I just don't know what to do...uh, down there, I mean."
Kyle filled his bowl with bran flakes. "Me neither. I'm not exactly a Romeo in that category either."
Connor sat down and took the box from him. "Maybe we should date Hannah and Vicky and find out. You know. Experiment with them."
Kyle curled up his nose. "I don't know."
"I never thought I'd be telling a friend how inexperienced I am. Shit, I must have a lot of faith in you."
"Why?" Kyle crunched on a mouthful of cereal. "You think I'm going to brag about it in the locker room? Give me some fucking credit."
"Well, half the guys think I'm some big hit with the ladies and the other half think I'm queer. I can't give away that I don't know shit about women or I'm dead."
Kyle watched as he chewed. "Why do you care so much?"
"It'll ruin my mystique." Connor winked playfully.
Kyle stopped chewing and stared at him. "Are you that conceited?"
Connor did the same and stared back. "Conceited?"
"Yes! Conceited! You don't want the guys to know you don't fuck a lot of women?"
"I...uh," Connor stammered nervously.
"Never mind. Don't worry, Romeo Worthington. I'll keep the lie alive for you."
"I...uh."
Kyle shook his head. "Whatever. I'm trying not to give a shit." He ate another mouthful of cereal. "Who gave you the blowjobs?"
Connor stared into his bowl as the flakes got soggy. "My physics tutor." I ain't tellin' ya he was a guy.
"A tutor? Are you slow or rich?"
"Both." Connor laughed. "Well, I'm not rich, but Dad's not doing too badly."
"How old were you when the tutor did it?"
"Sixteen."
"Wow! Was she way older?"
"I think she was twenty-something. I'm not very good with women's ages." Lie. Lie...don't tell him.
"Your dad find out?"
"Oh, hell no! He'd have killed me."
"You like getting your dick sucked?"
"Duh. I wish I could find someone to suck it all the time for me." He laughed. "How about you?"
Kyle choked on his bran flakes.
Connor patted his back sympathetically. "Kyle, let me get you some juice." He got up and poured him a glass. Kyle drank it down and then gaped at Connor in shock.
"You okay?" Connor asked.
"Yes." Kyle's eyes never left his.
"Now, where was I? Oh, did you ever get a BJ?"
Kyle let out a sigh of relief. "Oh, I thought you wanted me to---"
Connor tilted his head. "To?"
"Uh, when did I get a BJ?" Kyle waved his hand as if he had made a mistake. "Uh, never."
"Never?"
"No. Or not yet, I should say." He resumed eating.
"Damn! Well, I'm telling ya give Vicky some thought. I think she would just love to get her lips around that big dick of yours."
Kyle met his gaze again. "I'll think about it."
"Right. Time to hit the books." Connor slurped the last bit of milk down and set the bowl in the sink.
~
Kyle waited for him to leave the kitchen, then rubbed his face in frustration. The mixed signals were making him insane. Just when he thought he knew what Connor wanted, he said something to completely scare Kyle back into his corner. Baker, you're losing your mind.
~
They studied for a few hours until they were exhausted and closing their eyes. Connor stood and stretched, yawning. "I am so fucking tired. I need a computer!"
"Ditto. My parents told me to go the library."
"Gee, that sounds familiar. We must be the only idiots in this state to not have a laptop or a computer."
"Crap. Don't get me started. My dad said I'd spend all my time surfing the net and no time working. What bullshit." Kyle continued the yawn and scrubbed his eyes. "I have got to sleep."
"You need the shower?"
"Nah, I showered in the locker room. I'll just wash up and hit the sack." Kyle shoved his books off his lap and headed to the bathroom.
Connor marked the page, closing his books as the lights came on in the bathroom. He headed to his bedroom, took off his shirt and shorts, stripping down to his briefs. He turned on a tiny lamp on the night table to be able to see in the dimness, set his alarm, then raised his head to Kyle who was standing at his doorway. "All done?" Connor thought he looked so incredibly sexy he would give anything to be bold enough to kiss him.
~
Kyle wondered what Connor would do if he just walked in there, got to his knees and took that cock in his mouth. "Done. It's all yours."
"Why thank you, sir." Connor bowed comically. As he walked passed him, Connor held Kyle's waist and spun him around playfully, then continued into the bathroom.
The sensation of their hips brushing together reverberating through his body, Kyle stood there in a trance. The water started in the shower. Kyle made his way to those beaded doors soundlessly, feeling like a jungle cat hunting prey. Those tiny black briefs were on the floor. After swallowing down his nervousness at being caught, Kyle peered through the beads and focused on Connor's naked body through the misty shower doors. As Connor rinsed his hair, Kyle noticed Connor had a hard-on. When Connor soaped up and started masturbating, Kyle reached into his shorts quickly. He moved his hand in time with his roommate's and when Connor's body tensed up in orgasm, Kyle came hard in his shorts. In agony, Kyle had to bite back his gasps with everything he had.
Connor took a moment to recuperate, then rinsed off.
With the spent cum in his hand, Kyle went to the kitchen sink and cleaned up. Angry at himself for not having the guts to make a pass at Connor, Kyle scuffed tiredly to his room, undressed, and climbed into his bed.
The water stopped in the shower and Kyle spotted those fabulous legs through the thin beads once more as Connor dried off and finished at the sink.
The light turned off and Connor leaned naked into Kyle's room. "Sweet dreams, Kyle. Maybe Vicky will give you a nice BJ in it."
Trying to see in the sparse light, Kyle could barely make out that fantastic physique. "Goodnight, Connor."
"Night, Kyle."
~
Connor sat on his bed and ran his hands through his wet hair. He hated his life. Here he was living with a man who was everything he had ever dreamed of, and he didn't have the courage to open up to him, to make love to him. He dabbed at his eyes roughly as they teared up, then clicked off the light on the nightstand and curled into bed, trying not to cry himself to sleep.
The next morning they dashed around the apartment making sure they had all their things for class.
It was Connor's turn to drive so they climbed into the MG. "This Saturday I was going to stop at my parents' house. I figured since Mom's been good about financing me, I have to earn brownie points."
Kyle shrugged. "After the game?"
"Yeah, I'd ask you to go, but I don't want any of my friends to be subjected to them."
Kyle laughed softly. "No problem. We can be apart for an afternoon."
Connor glanced over at his slight smile. He didn't want to be apart from Kyle. At all. "It'll only be a few hours. I wasn't even planning on eating dinner there."
"Do whatever you have to do, Connor. Besides, that's not a lot of time to spend with them."
"I can only take them in very small doses. My temperature gauge rises very quickly in that house. I try to go when I know my father's away on business. He always gives me shit about my hair. It's like a broken record." Connor turned up the radio as Brain Salad Surgery by Emerson, Lake and Palmer was broadcasted on the Classic Rock Station.
While Connor sang the lyrics he noticed Kyle staring at him in concern. "What? Too loud?" He reached for the knob.
"No. I love it." Kyle stopped him. After the song Kyle said shyly, "I can have dinner ready for you when you get home."
Connor gaped at him in surprise. "You don't have to do that!"
"I don't mind."
"Wow." Connor parked and made sure his student permit was showing, then climbed out. They brushed shoulders as they walked to the building together. Connor had a tremendous urge to reach out and hold Kyle's hand.
When they had reached a point where they had to part ways, Kyle nodded to him, saying, "Catch ya later."
Before he vanished, Connor held him back. "Thanks, Kyle."
"For what?"
"For being there for me." Christ, how he wanted to touch him, wished things could be different between them. Connor ran his hand down Kyle's arm.
First Kyle looked at the contact, then Kyle's grin broadened substantially. "My pleasure. Can I be there for you during lunch?"
"Yes!" Connor laughed, released his grip on Kyle's arm, and took out Kyle's schedule to read. "I'll meet you at the union. I get out a little before you. Oh! Then we have class together after lunch."
"Good. See you then."
His heart beating wildly in his chest, Connor waved and watched Kyle go. He was so relieved he found someone like Kyle that some of his loneliness faded away.
~
With the expectation of meeting Kyle once his class was done, Connor was surprised to find Hannah waiting outside his. "Hi, Hannah." Connor was about to tell her he was busy when, she clasped Connor's hand and led him to the back of the enormous lecture hall's brick structure.
"What are you doing?" Connor took one last look behind him as Hannah dragged him forcefully.
The moment they were concealed from view, Hannah shoved Connor back against the sooty wall and opened his zipper, yanking his jeans down his hips. "I want you," she crooned.
Intense fear and anxiety overwhelmed Connor. Once again the lie of his true sexuality and his reputation was about to be tested. When Hannah's hands wrapped around his cock, Connor closed his eyes and tried to think of Kyle, and only Kyle.
She stuck his cock in her mouth and sucked it. A small gasping sound passed from Connor's lips. When Hannah stopped suddenly, he opened his eyes and stared at her smeared eyeliner and messy hair in dismay. "Oh, Christ." He knew he couldn't do this. Did not want to do this.
"Here, put this on." Hannah handed Connor a rubber from her pocketbook.
About to cry from frustration, Connor looked around the area wondering how long he had until Kyle would come looking for him if he was not at the union to meet him.
With revulsion Connor shook his head. "Hannah. Not like this. Not outside." He wasn't even hard.
She opened the rubber and began working him, trying to get the condom on.
He peeked down knowing there was no way in hell he was going to able to screw her. "Hannah, come on. No way. In the back of the lecture hall?"
"Come on. I really wanna do it and you never return my text messages. Do you even read them?" She pushed the rolled up condom against the head of his soft dick. "Don't you want to make love to me?"
It occurred to him she was high as a kite. "In public? I don't think so. Christ, how much pot did you smoke?" He tried to yank up his pants.
"But I'm horny. I want to screw you," she said. "Can't you just put it in?" She flopped his cock up and down between her fingers.
"Put it in? I'm not even fucking hard. You think this scenario is turning me on?" He gestured to himself.
"Most guys want to." She pouted her lower lip.
He knew this little episode would be spread across campus if he failed. "Fuck!" He grabbed his dick and tried to jerk himself enough to get hard and not seem like he was masturbating. He was literally between a rock and a hard place. It wasn't working.
Connor was becoming furious Hannah had placed him in this position. He gave up. He destroyed the rubber and tossed it on the ground, then zipped his pants.
"Unreal," Hannah said. "Any guy would think this was really sexy. I can't believe this." She sighed and crossed her arms over her chest.
"Sexy? Screwing behind a lecture hall with a chick who's completely stoned? Come on." Her glare didn't relent and Connor was terrified it would morph into suspicion. "Look, I'm starved and I don't have enough time for this." He dug his fingers through his hair in frustration. "I just want to grab a bite to eat, get this fucking day done, and go home, study, and rest."
"Fine. Whatever."
At her callous tone, Connor knew this wouldn't stay their little secret. When they began making their way back to the front of the building, Hannah gestured to another couple kissing, and said, "I hope they're having more fun than we were."
Connor snarled, "Fuck you."
"Hey! Don't blame me. You were the one who couldn't get it up."
It was said so loudly, Connor cringed. All the pain of his childhood washed over him. Failure. He was always a failure in the eyes of his family and now himself.
Suddenly Connor spotted Kyle standing by the front entrance, waiting.
Connor knew, just knew, Kyle had heard her comment about his sexual performance. Christ, she screamed it so loudly, everyone must have.
Instantly Kyle connected with Connor's eyes.
"See ya." Hannah stormed off.
Once she vanished, Kyle approached him and touched Connor's arm. "You okay?"
"Yeah. Fine." Connor was mortified.
"You sure?" Kyle ran his hand over Connor's back, stroking him soothingly.
About to explode from frustration and tell Kyle the truth, instead, Connor exhaled a great, stressful sigh. He lowered his head and enjoyed Kyle's touch.
~
Kyle had heard Hannah's accusation regarding Connor. It was so cruel he wanted to comfort him. Kyle continued to pet Connor gently, loving the feel of his long hair and broad back. When Connor finally faced him they connected gazes in what felt to Kyle like kindred spirits. Kyle held his breath. He could swear Connor wanted to kiss him.
"So, how was class?" Connor whispered.
"Fine. What's the deal with Hannah?"
"Not fine. You heard what she said, didn't you?"
"Yeah." Kyle didn't want to lie.
"I couldn't do it with her. She pulled my pants down, shoved a rubber at me, and asked for sex. I was humiliated, Kyle."
It was easy to visualize the encounter. Kyle felt his heart beat faster at the thought of doing to Connor what Hannah had just done. The amount he wanted to hold Connor was pure agony. He wondered what Connor would do if he reached to hug him. "It's okay," Kyle whispered.
"Is it?" Connor raised his lashes to Kyle's gaze. "What the hell's wrong with me? She was right there. Willing! Any guy would have done it."
"Maybe she just didn't turn you on."
"No. She didn't. You're right. She's really high at the moment and she does nothing for me."
"Connor, it's okay. Don't beat yourself up about it."
"No. It's not okay. It's fucking humiliating. My luck, she'll tell everyone on campus now and they'll all think I'm some kind of freak, or impotent or something."
"All right. Stop it." Kyle wrapped his arms around him. It just felt right. Yes, it was right there in front of everyone. So what?
Connor reacted in surprised at first, then relaxed against Kyle. Connor held him tight and Kyle closed his eyes, savoring the masculine embrace.
Inhaling Connor's scent, Kyle was in heaven. The noises around them dissipating to empty silence, Kyle rocked Connor, rubbing his back and wishing he could kiss him. They broke the hug so it didn't appear too obvious they adored each other.
Connor hummed contentedly at first, then he stood back to see Kyle's face. "Now I know I've cracked."
"Why?" Kyle stared at him in concern.
"I enjoy your affections more than hers." As if the comment was some kind of painful admission, Connor looked away and began walking off.
Kyle followed him. Get a clue!
~
Hours later, after a quick lunch, and their last lecture class, they were back at the apartment. They had eaten a store-bought pizza and split a six-pack of beer.
Neither of them broached the topic of Hannah or their embrace. Kyle was afraid to. He was beginning to think Connor was just now realizing his true sexual nature, and didn't want to push Connor or scare him off the way Hannah had. Well, you want someone to play the aggressor, but not Hannah. Hmm.
Seated on the couch, their books open on their laps, the yawning and rubbing of the eyes had begun as the clock hands moved closer to midnight.
Kyle made the first move to get up. "I'm exhausted. I'm getting ready for bed."
"All right." Connor stretched his arms over his head.
Once he scuffed to the bathroom, Kyle washed up and relieved himself. When he was finished he headed to his bedroom and took his shorts off, then folded back the blankets on his bed, climbing in.
Before he checked the alarm clock, he noticed Connor standing in his doorway.
"You okay?" Kyle asked.
At the covert invitation, Connor entered his room, sat on the bed, and gazed at him. "What's wrong with me?"
Kyle propped himself up against the headboard and asked, "Aren't you too tired to talk about it?"
"Yes. I'm completely out of it, but do you mind if we still talk?" Connor touched Kyle's leg through the sheets.
"I don't mind. What do you want to talk about?"
Connor climbed over the bed to lean against the headboard beside him.
When he did, Kyle's mouth opened in surprise as they just fit on the single mattress together. "It'd be easier in your room. Your bed is bigger."
"I like it cozy." Connor wiggled against him. "Oh, all right, come on. Let's go to my room then." Connor hopped off the mattress and disappeared down the hall.
Why is my life so strange? Kyle kept still, trying to decide what they had between them, if anything, before he followed Connor. Just as he was about to enter his room, he spotted Connor's naked backside climbing under the sheets.
As Connor fluffed the pillows to lean back against them, he noticed Kyle at the doorway and waved. "Come here."
Kyle kept his hands in front of his crotch, hiding his hard-on under his briefs, and walked in slowly.
Connor patted the spot next to him in bed. "What's the matter? Are you too tired? I just feel wired, Kyle. I need to talk. We don't have early practice tomorrow. Please?"
Suddenly Kyle felt as if his limbs were made of lead. He was walking toward Connor's bed, with Connor completely naked in it. Was this the night he'd been waiting for?
Connor squirmed, as if he was excited at the idea of Kyle climbing in bed with him. Connor repositioned to where the side of the mattress met the wall and leaned up on his elbow, staring at him.
When Connor folded back the blankets, intending on Kyle getting under, Kyle felt the sweat break out on his forehead. "You want me under the sheets with you?" he asked to clarify.
With a wicked smile, Connor said, "It's safe. I promise. I won't grope you."
Slightly disappointed, wanting that grope badly, Kyle climbed under the covers with him. He kept his back sealed to the headboard and froze.
Connor scooted closer to be at eye level with him. "I'm a little frightened, Kyle. What if Hannah tells everyone I couldn't get it up?"
Kyle figured this would be the topic. He let out a deep exhale and faced Connor like a mirror image. "Stop thinking about it."
"Right. Stop thinking about it. I can't. I can't stop. I already tolerated an illegal lacrosse stick to the nuts because a teammate thinks I'm gay. This will kill me. I'm dead."
As Connor spoke, Kyle concentrated on his face. It was only a few inches away. Connor's hair was so long it was in his eyes and swept passed his bronze shoulder. His lashes were full and dark and his lips were lush and salmon pink. Kyle was becoming distracted. I'm lying in his bed, we're almost touching, and he's naked!
"Kyle?"
"I don't know what she'll do. She may be embarrassed she didn't turn you on and never talk about it. Or maybe you can just say you were too tired and she's not your type. You could use all sorts of reasons as to why, if she does blab."
"So, I shouldn't be nervous she'll spread gossip? Or worse. That I couldn't get it up?"
"If you're with the right person and in the right place, you'll get it up."
"Would you do it with Vicky? If she offered it like that?"
"No," Kyle answered quickly, averting Connor's inquisitive eyes.
"No? Why not? Don't all guys want it?"
Kyle began to think Connor was more innocent than he appeared. This man frustrated the hell out of him. Kyle moved to get comfortable, shifting on the bed and resting his jaw on his palm. "Maybe some guys want it with the right person. Not just anyone who offers it. When it's right you just know it."
"How? What if I just don't know it and the right person slips away from me?"
Kyle wondered the same thing. What if he and Connor were right, but they never even tied?
"Kyle? You must be really tired. I keep losing you. Sorry. I won't keep you up any longer."
Kyle wanted to protest, to grab Connor and seal their bodies together under the sheets. "It's all right. I don't mind talking to you."
Connor frowned sadly. "You don't? You don't think I'm a pain in the ass? Or a baby?"
He returned Connor's solemn expression and shook his head at the inaccurate appraisal. "No. You're not a baby. Connor, we're only twenty years old. We still don't know what the real world is about."
"But you seem to. You're so much smarter and more together than I am. My parents really fucked me up. I feel like I'm not equipped to cope. I have all these pent up feelings inside, and I can't express them out of fear of rejection. Especially being rejected by the ones who mean the most to me."
"What are you talking about?" Kyle became even more baffled. "You're perfectly equipped. You're smart. You're athletic. You're practical. And you are absolutely gorgeous."
Connor's mouth hung open in an exaggerated gesture of surprise. "Kyle Baker!"
Kyle froze and didn't know what to do. One adjective too many. Damn.
His eyes appearing watery, Connor breathed, "You are wonderful for my ego. With you by my side, I can do anything." He reached out and cupped Kyle's face.
Kyle held his breath.
"I have never had anyone in my life who said those things to me. Do you have any idea what it is like to hear them said? By someone I respect and admire?"
With those hands still attached to his jaw, Kyle shook his head slightly. He had no idea what to say.
"God! I could kiss you." Connor shook him.
"Kiss me, Connor Worthington," Kyle whispered seductively.
Connor's eyes widened in surprise. He laughed nervously as if it was said in a dare, then replied, "All right, then." Drawing Kyle's face closer he connected to his lips.
It was so hot Kyle felt his entire body burst with chills. Just when he was about to climb on top of Connor and stuff his tongue down Connor's throat, Connor leaned back from him, ending the kiss. No! No! Oh God, don't stop!
Left yearning for more, Kyle let out a groan in agony. He wanted it to continue so badly he ached. How had it ended before it began? Kyle leaned forward, eyes closed, and waited for it to resume.
When nothing happened, Kyle blinked open his eyes. He wanted to say something to Connor, anything with meaning. Maybe to tell him the way he felt. That this wasn't a crazy joke, that he was serious. That he was falling in love with him and didn't know what to do about it.
~
Doubt reared its ugly side once again. With his father's deep fierce voice screaming "faggot" in his head, getting a hit in the groin because his teammate thought he was gay, and Hannah's potential damage to his reputation, Connor shrunk back. He wished he had a way of getting that nasty warning voice out of his brain once and for all. Or worse, maybe Kyle thought he was some kind of pervert by now.
Connor muttered, "Go to bed, Mr. Baker, before I start to enjoy kissing you and having you in my bed. Then you may as well kill me."
As he spoke, Connor studied Kyle's face carefully. He thought Kyle appeared too serious for it to have been a silly game. It was just a game, wasn't it? He watched Kyle climb out of the bed slowly. Kyle kept peeking back, looking dejected.
"Goodnight, Kyle." After he left, Connor covered his face, hating himself. Once Kyle realized he was attracted to him, Kyle would leave. Connor punched the pillows in frustration and tried to get to sleep.
~
Kyle mumbled something incoherent even to his own ears and scuffed back to his room. He dropped onto his bed and stared at the ceiling. Connor was dancing around the real issue, their sexual attraction. Sure Connor was well within the comfort zone of a best friend and confidante. That's where they were. Best friends. Brothers. He assumed that's where they were in Connor's mind. But kissing? Heterosexual men did not kiss! Connor was too touchy-feely with Kyle to not be gay. Obviously Connor just wasn't ready to admit it to himself. Kyle also knew if he crossed that line before Connor was ready, he risked losing this man. A man who he knew he could not live without.
Saturday morning Kyle woke up to the ringing of his mobile phone, stumbling out of bed. Kyle managed to find it in his jeans pocket. Before he checked the LCD display he spotted Connor at his doorway, yawning and scratching his head.
Kyle didn't recognize the number. He said hello a few times, hung up and made his way back to his bed.
"Who was it?" Connor asked.
"No idea."
"What time is it?" Connor rubbed his eyes.
Kyle read his watch. "Seven thirty."
As if striking a pose for a sexy magazine, Connor leaned against Kyle's doorway. "Should we get up? We could get some reading in before the game."
"No." Kyle curled back into the pillows and then realized Connor was stark naked. Kyle tried not to stare at his crotch and asked, "Do you always sleep nude?"
Connor stared down at himself. "Am I offending your senses? Sorry." He covered his crotch.
"No. I'm used to it from the locker room. I guess I don't mind. Have you always?"
"Nope. Not at home. I wore pajamas. Hated them. I get too hot." As if he were completely comfortable in the buff, Connor wandered in and gazed around Kyle's tiny room. With Connor's cock at eye level, Kyle groaned and covered his face with his blanket.
"I doubt I'll sleep. You want to go buy our music system this weekend?" Connor asked. "We need tunes."
"Yes. Tomorrow."
"All right. You look so cozy in there."
"Wanna climb in?" Kyle grinned wickedly.
"Next time. I'll make coffee." As he strutted out of the bedroom, Kyle couldn't get enough of the back view of Connor. He had no idea how long Connor would prance around nude. It was too good to resist. Kyle hopped out of bed, needing no better motivation. He followed Connor to the kitchen as Connor grabbed the coffee pot and started filling it with water.
"You want the shower first?" Connor asked over his shoulder.
"Hmm?" Kyle was completely lost on him, on how his back and ass were perfectly smooth, how tight his thigh muscles were, how his mane of thick brown hair was almost down to his mid-back.
"The shower. Me first or you?" After he reached into the cupboard, Connor located a coffee filter and then turned to face him.
"I don't care. You decide. I'm too tired."
When Connor bent down to reach into the refrigerator Kyle rubbed his crotch and salivated. Oh, help me, please, help me. Kyle groaned over visions of penetrating that ass.
As if he were as innocent as a lamb, Connor held up the bag of coffee grounds. "One scoop or two?"
"Huh?"
"Two scoops? I always forget."
"Yes. Two works," Kyle replied.
With a nod in return, Connor prepared the coffee, then turned on the pot. "Fine. I'll shower first."
"Fine." Kyle followed him again.
Connor started laughing at him. "What the heck are you doing?"
"Going back to bed. Bye."
"Bye." Connor shook his head and entered the bathroom.
With the grand view through the beads, Kyle spread his legs wide and propped himself up for the show.
~
Their first game of the season was painful and long. An hour after its completion, Connor was on his way to see his parents.
With his shades on his nose to block out the glare, Connor rubbed at his aching muscles. The amount of illegal hits he had to endure was becoming excruciating. Was it mandatory for everyone to take a pot shot at him? Yes, I'm an attackman, but Jesus Christ.
Connor had an idea that gossip was beginning to spread about him. His teammates were backing off and allowing him to be ravaged on the field. The referees were calling the penalties, but it was worsening with each practice. Was it necessary? All that body checking?
They know I'm fucking gay. Connor couldn't think of another reason for all the unnecessary roughness. Poor Kyle was doing his best to stand in the way of the attacks but Kyle can't play my bodyguard. He's a midfielder. He has to stay in his position. That is insane.
Kyle.
The more Connor thought of him, the more he felt stabbing pain inside his chest. He longed for him. As a lover, not a friend.
It was a boring drive to his parents' estate in San Bernardino and he did it with a heavy heart. The worst part was leaving Kyle alone in the apartment. It somehow felt wrong. Even though Kyle said he had a lot of work to do for Monday and didn't mind hitting the books for a few hours, Connor still felt upset.
In need of a distraction, blasting the music as he drove, Connor tried to think of a way to just see his mother and not his father. He wondered if it would be easier to cut a weekday class and go when his father was working. He knew it would solve one problem, but then he'd miss the class and he didn't want to do that.
After two hours on the road, Connor parked in the grand curving drive in front of his home. When he hopped up the front steps, their butler was there to open the door.
"Hello, sir. You're looking well."
"Thank you, Lawrence, I'm fine. Where's Mom?"
"In the lounge, sir."
"Thanks." He picked up his pace and made his way down the hall.
"Oh, look who's here!" Their housekeeper, Rebecca, blocked his path.
"Hello, Becky. Are you keeping out of trouble?" He slanted his eyes at her.
"With you off to college, I no longer have any trouble to get into." She planted herself in front of him. "You're incredible. Can I have you?"
"No." He physically set her aside with a smile. When he finally located his mother, she had her nose in a book and Ravel was blasting on the stereo. Trying not to frighten her, Connor cleared his throat.
At the noise, she blinked over her reading glasses and then smiled, reaching out her hand in greeting.
He approached her and took it, kissing her cheek. "Hi, Mom."
"Hello, dear. Are you still letting your hair grow?"
"Nice to see you too." He laughed sarcastically. "Where's Dad?"
"I don't know which room he's in at the moment." Her expression hardened, then resumed its smile. "Are you staying for dinner?"
"No. I'm going to ride Brandy, then I'm going back to my apartment. I have a ton of work to do." Connor missed his horse more than his parents.
"Why such a short visit?"
Before he could answer, Connor spun to the doorway when he heard a noise. He turned back to his mother. "That's why."
"For cryin' out loud, Connor. Cut your hair. You look like a girl," Arthur said predictably.
Connor didn't even want the argument. "I'll see you after my ride, Ma." He turned to his father and said, "Excuse me," to get by him.
Reluctantly, his father backed up enough for Connor to slide by. When Connor was a safe distance down the hall his father yelled, "You look queer with that hair. Are you gay or what?"
Though he felt his body and voice gearing up for a counter attack, Connor continued to the stable located behind the house. He greeted their horse-groom politely. "Hi, Louis."
"Hello, Master Connor. You look very well, sir, very well."
"Thanks. Believe me getting away from this place has done wonders for me. And I have a great friend I've moved in with. His name's Kyle. We're on the lacrosse team together." Connor took his chestnut brown mare out of the stall by her halter.
Louis helped him saddle Brandy up. "Good for you." He smiled sweetly. "Look. She misses you." Louis patted Brandy's neck. "She looks for you whenever I come in. She gets very disappointed to see it's just me."
"Is that right?" Connor grinned. He held that long chestnut muzzle and gave his pet a good scratching. "You miss me, girl?"
She blew out and flapped her lips at him. He hugged her and enjoyed her fuzzy face. Suddenly he heard a small chorus of whinnies and snorts. He took a look at all the long necks of the other horses hanging out of their stalls, staring at him. He laughed and went to say hello to them all.
"Hello, Sterling, how are you, big fella?" Connor rubbed the yellow mane of a silver stallion. "You miss me?" He asked Louis, "You have any treats?" Connor just noticed a strange young man next to Louis and smiled at him.
"Yes, I have sugar." Louis cleared his throat. "This is Terry Duckworth, Master Connor. He's going to take over as groom here."
Connor said, "Hello," to the young man as Louis went to the tack room. Waiting in the awkward silence until Louis returned with the sugar cubes, Connor felt the young man staring at him. Ignoring it, Connor asked, "Where are you going, Louis?" as he fed his horse a treat.
"It's time I retired and a younger man came to take over."
"I'll miss you. You were always very kind to me. Is Dad taking care of you?"
"Yes. He is at that, my boy."
"Good. It's the least he can do."
"I'm very happy you're doing well in school, Master Connor."
Connor put his arm around Louis' shoulder and shook him affectionately. "I never knew how good life can be. It's amazing what having a best friend can do for a person."
"He's the lucky one."
"Why, thank you, Louis. But you're wrong. I am." Connor winked and fed Sterling a sugar cube. Sterling nodded his head as he crunched it and all the other horses protested for their share. At the loud display Connor laughed in amusement and hurried to give each horse the treat.
When Connor was ready, Louis gave him a leg-up into the saddle. As Connor walked Brandy out of the barn he heard Terry say to Louis, "I thought he was a woman from the back."
Louis replied, "He's a bit too big to be a woman."
Terry laughed, "Maybe, but he's as good looking as one."
Not wanting to hear another word, Connor spurred Brandy into a canter and raced her across the meadows.
He drifted off and wondered if he would ever be able to share this with anyone, if he could bring a friend out to ride. He wanted Kyle with him, but he would never subject Kyle to the humiliation of his family. Never.
He spent longer than he had intended with his horse. They rode for most of the afternoon.
By evening Connor met the new groom in the stable and said, "Thank you for taking care of Brandy for me."
"My pleasure, sir." Terry's smile was full of invitation.
Connor gave his horse one last hug and kissed the white star on her head, trying not to get emotional when he walked back into the house. He missed not riding her daily and made a mental note to get out there every weekend if he could.
He stunk of horse and needed a shower, but checked the time and felt anxious to get back to Kyle. Forgoing the wash in need of his roommate's companionship instead, Connor searched for his mother.
She was sipping coffee in the sun room.
"Well, I'm off. I wanted to thank you for the cash. I really need it. You have no idea how expensive everything is. You know, books, supplies, food."
"Yes, dear. Is it enough? I don't want you hungry."
"No. How could a few hundred be enough?" Connor made an exaggerated gesture to his "humble" surroundings. He wanted to say that he had to live in a pathetic little apartment, that he needed to budget to buy house supplies, meals, but she didn't hold the purse strings.
"How much do you need?" she asked.
"Why? How much can you give me?"
"Don't be smart. I merely asked you a question."
"I didn't intend to be smart." He stood taller, straightening his back. Did she need him to beg? "Look, Mom, you know the lifestyle I am accustomed to living. Now, think about the budget you have me on."
"I have no idea how to estimate things. Your father has always taken care of that. I pay your tuition bills when they come. As far as how much you need to set up house, what do I know? And you know his argument? You should have gone to Cal State so you could have lived at home. Do you know how difficult it is for me to get you money for an apartment? He's very angry, Connor."
He tried not to get impatient with her. This was an old argument over tired ground. "Look, you just gave me five hundred, how about we double the allowance?"
"Fine."
"Fine?" He was stunned.
"Yes."
"Triple?"
"Don't push it." She narrowed her eyes at him. "I have to sneak you the money. Let's not get over zealous."
"I'm carrying a full load of credits, plus sports, and keeping up a four-point-oh average. What else does he want from me?" Connor threw up his hands.
"You could work for a living." His father entered the room behind them.
Connor covered his hand over his mouth prevent his own outburst. He closed his eyes and tried to count to ten.
"We want him to focus on his studies. Don't we, Arthur?" Connor's mother said.
Connor was stunned she stuck up for him. Usually she was as intimidated by his father as he was.
"I think I've raised a daughter." His father curled his lip in revulsion. "Your hair needs to be cut. You're a disgrace. If you think I'm going to support your lazy ass while you waste your time studying math and science, you can forget it. You should be living home and commuting to Cal State. And don't you go giving him my money behind my back." Arthur pointed at Carole.
Connor's mother was instantly cowed by the threat. She shut up, sipping her coffee.
"Bye, Ma, I have to go." Connor bent down to kiss her cheek. The last thing he wanted was a debate. When he tried to leave the room, his father blocked his way. "Excuse me."
"Cut this mop before I shave it off." His father grabbed Connor's hair and pulled it violently.
About to go ballistic and get this battle out and done, Connor puffed up tall, taller than his father. After swatting away his father's arm, Connor said angrily, "You think you can influence me now, Dad? You think you can order me around like when I was a little boy?"
Carole jumped to her feet and stood between them. "Stop it. I'm sick of you two arguing." She nudged her son out into the hall.
Connor turned back to say, "You'll never order me around again, you got that, Dad?"
"Just admit you're gay and you'll never get married. How stupid do you think I am?" He said to Carole, "If you ever expect to be a grandmother, you better adopt."
That label coming from his father always bit Connor hard. He checked the hall only once to see if he was being followed, before he jogged outside to his car.
~
Connor tried not to grate his teeth as he raced along the highway. He felt his eyes fill with tears and wiped at them angrily. Fuck him! Fuck him! He punched the steering wheel. Admit I'm gay? Are you kidding me? Telling Mom to adopt another kid? How low can you go, Dad?
He didn't want to let that ass hurt him, but he did. He did. Way more than he could prevent it. It was unfair. Connor wanted to be accepted by his father, to be treated like a man, respected for making his own decisions and working hard. But every time his father crossed his path, it was the same broken record.
Connor couldn't imagine admitting it. Sure, you say that's all you want, but, Jesus, Dad, what will you do if I say I am? Disown me?
Two hours of driving later, he shut off the MG and got out wearily. The feeling of being completely spent overcame him as he unlatched the front lobby entrance and climbed the stairs to his unit. When he opened the door he smelled food. "Oh, fuck me," he groaned. "Kyle?"
Kyle sat at the folding kitchen table with his open book. He raised his head and smiled brightly when Connor entered.
"I'm sorry. I'm such a jerk. I forgot you were making dinner."
"No big deal. It's not that late, Connor. It's only seven." He stood up and turned the oven on.
"Shit." Connor wasn't appeased.
Kyle walked across the room to him and studied his face. "What happened? Were you crying?"
Mortified Kyle could tell, Connor hurried to the bathroom mirror and took a look at himself. There was a layer of dust from his riding smeared with his tears. Connor turned on the sink faucets and splashed his face.
Obviously alarmed Kyle asked, "What the hell happened to you? Are you okay?"
Connor wondered what Kyle read in his eyes. "Life in hell, part two hundred." Connor sighed, drying his face on a towel and waited to see what his good friend would do.
Kyle dampened a washcloth. "Look at me."
"Gladly." Connor smiled weakly at him.
As gently as if he were caring for a child, Kyle wiped Connor's neck.
"Am I a mess? I need to shower." Connor took a peek at the two of them in the mirror, his cheeks felt warm and he could see them growing red.
"You're covered in dirt and I could tell you were crying." Kyle folded the cloth up and tossed it on the sink counter.
"You didn't know your roommate was a crybaby, did you?" Connor felt infinitely more at ease with his friend near.
"You want to tell me what happened?"
"No. Just the usual verbal abuse. The good news is, I may have convinced Mom to double my allowance."
"Good. Dad is the problem then?"
"I don't want to talk about it." Connor turned away and knew he must stink from his day in the saddle.
"Then don't. You like macaroni and cheese?"
"You made mac and cheese?"
"Yes. With the help of a long distance call to Mom." Kyle grinned at him.
Connor felt his heart warm with emotion. He wanted to tell Kyle how much he adored him. "Was it hard to make?"
"Nah, not at all. Ya just have to know how." Kyle stuck his chest out proudly.
"Thank you." Connor beamed at him in affection.
"You're welcome. Now shower. You stink. What the hell is that smell?"
"Horses." Connor chuckled as he undressed.
"Horses? Where did you ride?"
"My parents have a couple." Connor didn't want to make it sound like a brag.
"Lucky you." Kyle left the bathroom.
"You like to ride?" Connor called after him.
"Sure. Anytime."
"Huh." Connor stripped and started the water in the shower. "I wonder what would happen if we both went riding one day?" Sure, Connor, bring a male friend home. That would go over well. Connor shook his head sadly and stepped into the tub.
Someone grabbed Kyle by his elbow on his way out of the lecture hall to meet Connor. "Hey, Kevin."
"There's a party at the Phi Omega frat house tonight. Most of the guys from the team are going to be there. Gamma house girls are going too. Stop by. Best party before spring break. Huge kegger."
"Maybe," he replied as Kevin took off down the corridor.
"Bring women," Kevin yelled back at him.
What the hell does that mean? Instead of bringing a guy? Kyle tried not to take the comment personally, but Kevin and his pack of homophobes rarely let up on Connor during practice and in the locker. Kyle was surprised Kevin didn't add, "Don't bring Connor." It would have been par for the course. Lately the verbal abuse to Connor had gone over the top in Kyle's opinion.
With paranoid thoughts spinning in his head about being labeled simply because he and Connor were roommates and best friends, Kyle headed to the lecture hall where Connor's class was about to end.
He hoped it didn't seem odd that he was lingering in the corridor. Kyle tried not to be obvious when he peeked inside the classroom door's small glass window.
He spotted lovely Connor seated near the front, his long hair tucked behind his ears, his attention riveted to the professor's lecture. Immediately Kyle's heart warmed and he had to force himself to back up and look casual.
Seconds later, the door swung open and a flood of students emerged.
Connor hadn't spotted him yet, still occupied with reloading his textbooks into his pack. A girl stood near Connor, talking to him as he did.
Jealous, Kyle bristled and entered the room. "Connor!"
At hearing his name, Connor raised his head and grinned broadly. "Hi, Kyle."
Kyle walked closer to them and tried not to glare at yet another pretty female hovering around his heartthrob.
"Kyle, this is Mary," Connor introduced them.
She grinned shyly at Kyle and said, "Hi."
"Hi." He tapped Connor. "Let's go. You hungry?"
"Starved."
Connor hoisted his pack over his shoulder and it appeared Mary wanted to invite herself along. Kyle could feel it coming. No way was Kyle willing to share his time off with Connor with anyone else. On the pretext of roughhousing, Kyle nudged between them and put his arm around Connor's neck, wrestling with him. "How about Chinese food?"
"Am I buying?" Connor laughed as Kyle dragged him out of the room by the head.
"Yes, you're buying. You're the one with all the cash." Kyle peeked over his shoulder. When Mary didn't follow them, he released his hold on Connor. "Kevin said there's a kegger at a frat house tonight. Do you want to go?"
"A kegger? Uh, did you say Kevin invited you?" Connor curled his lip.
"Yes. He said the team will be there."
"I wouldn't mind the free beer, but...Kevin? And his gang of bullies?"
"Yeah. I thought the same thing. Never mind." Kyle scanned around quickly to see if anyone was eavesdropping.
"I have mixed feelings, Kyle." Connor shifted his backpack on his shoulder as they left the building. "I don't want to be intimidated by those guys. You know, stop having a social life because of them."
"Your decision."
After taking a minute to digest it, Connor said, "Let's go. We could leave if they get nasty."
"I'll punch Kevin in the nose if he gets nasty." Kyle wasn't sure he wanted to deal with it.
"My hero." Connor stopped Kyle's progress off campus, poking his nose into Kyle's playfully. "Which Chinese restaurant?"
Kyle could have rubbed noses with him he was that close. "You've gone mad."
"I've gone mad," Connor repeated, tilting his head.
"How about Golden China?"
"Perfect."
Kyle nudged him back playfully and took another paranoid peek around. "Who wound you up? Christ, Connor, I never know what to expect from you." They headed to the restaurant.
"I'm high on Kyle William Baker."
Kyle's mouth opened in shock. Once he got over the surprise he urged Connor to keep moving. "Go. I'm hungry and you're walking too slowly."
"Meat. Kyle wants meat," Connor said, as they picked up their pace.
Kyle raised his eyebrow at him. I want meat. You got that right. Your meat.
~
By the time they had stopped home and eaten their Chinese food, it only took them an hour before they were ready to go out again.
Kyle drove and parked along a packed campus street in a tight parallel parking spot. They walked down the crowded sidewalk to the frat house.
The party was out already of control. When Kyle stepped through the doorway, he ducked as something flew over their heads.
"Jesus," Connor gasped, then screamed, "aaah!"
Still trying to get over the shock of the object that was hurled at them, Kyle held his hand on his heart. "What?" he asked Connor.
"Someone just grabbed my ass!" Connor spun around to look.
Kyle heard a girl's hysterical laughter and noticed her wicked smirk. Obviously so had Connor.
"Kyle, keep that maniac away from me." Connor pointed her out to him.
"It's going to be a wild night." Kyle sighed as Connor wagged his finger at the naughty woman. Kyle held Connor's elbow. "Come on. Keep moving."
As they avoided various obstacles and objects whizzing through the air, they headed into the vortex. A keg was the centerpiece of the entire carnival of twenty-something students, and plastic cups were being filled in an assembly-line manner. Two cups were offered to them when their turn came. Kyle stopped the beer from sloshing and took a deep swallow.
Instantly he was smacked with the aroma of marijuana. The noise level was so high, Kyle barely caught Neil Young's voice over the chaos of drunken debauchery. The frat house was old, needed new paint desperately, and the white walls were used as dartboards, corkboards, and obviously graffiti notes to fellow members. It was a dive. A dive that needed bulldozing to fix. Not to mention it stunk like old gym socks and BO.
After Connor sucked down his beer, he licked the foam off his lip, then belched, grinning at Kyle.
In amusement, Kyle shook his head. Before he could attempt a conversation in the cacophony of noise, their names were being called. Kyle stretched tall over the rest of the crowd to discern where the greeting was coming from. He found his teammates trying to flag him down.
"There are the guys," Kyle told Connor and began the trek across the jammed room to join them.
As they wove their path through the congestion, Kyle noticed Connor's attention was diverted by a blonde who wanted him to dance. Connor peeked at Kyle and shrugged innocently, as the drunken woman swiveled her hips seductively at him.
Again Kyle's name was yelled. Not wanting to be seen dragging Connor along, Kyle headed toward the group of lacrosse guys who were standing off to the side of the packed room.
"Christ, five minutes and already Worthington has a date." Frank laughed, but Kyle could see he was jealous.
"He's a fucking chick magnet," Wayne said, "and Teresa's so fucking easy. He'll get laid."
"It's got to be the hair. Chicks love long hair on guys," David added.
"It's not just the long hair. Randy's hair is long and he's a bomb with the women," Frank replied.
"I'm not a bomb," Randy protested, then frowned. "I'm just unlucky. And my hair isn't as long as that."
"Yeah, right." Wayne pushed him playfully.
Kyle noticed the group staring at Connor as little blonde Teresa started climbing on him as she danced.
Sick about the notion of Connor getting laid, Kyle turned away and finished his beer. He switched to tequila shooters, determined to get plastered.
Kevin joined their group with Dick Lang tagging along. Gary pointed to Connor. "Look. Worthington's about to get lucky."
Kyle studied Kevin's expression. Was this Connor's chance to get rid of the gay rumors?
"He won't screw her. He's a fag."
Kyle cringed and walked away from them, throwing the tequila down his throat. Unreal. Nothing you can do, Connor. Even hanging out with a woman won't help.
~
The music changed to something Connor didn't care for. He wiped his face with his shirt, now that he was drenched in sweat from the physical activity in the hot room.
"Take this off." Theresa yanked on his tank top.
"What for?" Connor resisted.
"Because I want to see you dance without it."
"No." He grew upset and got a better look at her. Her eyes were bright red and she was obviously either drunk or high. When she tried to get Connor's shirt off, he nudged her away. "Stop." Connor knew he had to keep up the straight façade but he wasn't going to allow this woman to strip him at a lousy frat kegger.
"Don't be shy, Connor. All the girls love your body."
The minute she pursed her lips for a kiss, Connor cringed and backed up.
As if Kyle had a sixth sense about Connor's situation, he appeared next to him and handed Connor a fresh glass of beer.
"Geez, you're dripping wet. Want to step outside?" Kyle asked.
"Yes. I do." He took the plastic cup. "See ya," he said to Teresa and followed Kyle out.
Just as he and Kyle were making their way to the door Connor spun around to yet another assault on his derriere. His beer spilled down his fingers at his surprise. As he scanned the crowd to figure out which girl in the group had groped his ass, Kyle shook his head.
The few girls close by grinned and eyed him hungrily. "Behave," he warned them.
Kyle held his arm and brought him outside. It was cooler and less stuffy. Connor inhaled the fresh air and lifted his hair off his neck with one hand trying to dry off his soaked skin.
"Check out the moon." Kyle pointed, leaning against Connor.
Connor raised his gaze to it and said, "Wow."
"It's full. You better watch out. The werewolves are out." Kyle laughed.
"More like the she-wolves."
"What? You don't like them grabbing your butt?" Kyle asked sarcastically.
Connor peered behind him first, then said, "Not when they hump me in front of everyone."
"Connor, it's not working. Give up the charade."
At the overt comment regarding his sexuality from his best friend, Connor faced Kyle full on and studied his expression. "Are you being insightful or are you drunk?"
"Both? I'm way ahead of you." Kyle gave him a silly grin.
Connor waited as a few people passed them to get inside the frat. "What's not working? What charade? Care to elaborate?"
"Connor, Connor, Connor," Kyle clicked his tongue disapprovingly.
About to delve further into where Kyle was going with his chiding, someone greeted Connor.
"Hey, Connor."
Connor spun around to one of his teammates, Donald Mulhouse. "Oh, hi." He remembered Kevin's comment about Donald looking at him naked in the locker room and began to feel nervous. After all, everyone was stoned on everything from pot to ecstasy, drunk on booze or going completely insane at the moment. Anything was possible, including a pass from a gay teammate. Connor had no idea what he would do if Donald made one.
After Kevin's accusing locker room gossip, Connor investigated the people around the area to see which one could be Donald's boyfriend. Was Donald openly gay?
"You ready for our next game?" Donald asked.
Kyle shifted his weight from leg to leg as if he needed to sit down. Since they were outside the frat house and there was no place to sit. Kyle leaned on Connor before he fell over.
"He's drunk," Connor explained nervously as his roommate held onto him.
Donald laughed softly. "Who isn't?"
Someone handed Donald a joint as they walked by to the front of the frat house's open door. After he took a long inhale he offered it to Connor.
"I don't smoke. Virgin lungs," Connor said, adding, "and ass."
Kyle doubled over with laughter.
"What?" Donald cracked up. "Shit. Did you say you had a virgin ass? I should hope so."
A few of the people lingering out front stepped nearer to ask what Connor had said to make Kyle laugh so hard. Kyle was laughing so much he was choking, slapping his thigh and howling with hilarity.
Connor grew nervous and repeated, "He's completely toasted."
"Anyone want a toke?" Donald offered the joint and someone quickly took it off his hands.
"Argh!" Connor gasped and spun around at another pinch to his bottom. "Stop that," he scolded a tipsy female.
"Hey, now your ass has been de-virginated," Donald said and the group finally started to catch on and joined the laughter.
A girl put her arm around Donald's waist, asking him, "What happened? Why are all you guys laughing so hard?"
"Connor's ass seems to be getting a lot of attention," Donald explained, then said, "Connor, this is my fiancée, Cyndie."
"Your fiancée?" Connor gasped. Well, there goes the accusation of him being a fag out the window. Connor felt like a moron. His preconceived notion was just as ignorant as Kevin and his groups'.
Hannah and Vicky showed up. "Oh, hello, Connor." Hannah gave him a snobbish glance.
"Hello, Hannah," he said in exactly the same manner.
"Okay. This is gonna go downhill quick," Kyle slurred.
Hannah took a closer look at Kyle. "Are you drunk?"
"He's smashed." Vicky giggled.
"Looks like you have a double-standard when it comes to your male friends getting stoned." Hannah made sure it was loud enough for everyone around to hear.
Donald hooked his fiancée's elbow, obviously wanting no part of what was coming. "See ya, Connor, Kyle."
"Bye, Don." Connor watched them enter the frat house.
"Hey, Kyle. Are you here at the party alone?" Vicky wrapped her arm around Kyle's waist.
"No. I'm with him." Kyle pointed at Connor, nudging Vicky's hold off.
Oh crap. Connor knew this didn't look good. He stepped right in front of Kyle to shut him up. "Maybe I should take you home."
"Good, I was hoping to get lucky." Kyle gave Connor a sly grin.
Hannah said, "Maybe you'll have better luck than I did."
Connor turned on her in rage. "You watch your mouth, Hannah. I'd be very careful if I were you."
She laughed. "Why? It was your problem you couldn't get it up, not mine."
Connor felt his face burn in humiliation. There were too many witnesses to this conversation. Under his breath he warned, "I never hit a girl before, but there's always a first time."
"That's one method of proving you're a man, isn't it? You flunked the other."
No way was Connor going to win this battle with his ego intact. "Let's go, Kyle." Connor nodded to him.
Kyle swayed and blinked his eyes slowly.
"Christ, Kyle. How much did you drink? It was only five frickin' minutes that I was away from you." Connor escorted Kyle to the car.
"I want my dick sucked." Kyle gripped Connor tighter around the waist.
"Jesus." Connor made it to the car and leaned Kyle against the fender, reaching into Kyle's front pocket for the key. "I'm driving, you idiot. How could you get this drunk on beer?"
"I did tequila shooters, or something like that. I want my dick sucked." Kyle pushed his pelvis out to emphasize it as Connor's hand rooted around inside his pocket. "Touch me. Come on, Connor."
After he took the keys out of Kyle's pocket, Connor mumbled, "Get in the car." Connor opened the passenger's side door and helped Kyle drop into the seat.
"Did you hear me?" Kyle asked when Connor was behind the wheel with the key in the ignition.
"Yeah, I heard you." Connor struggled to pull out of the tight parallel parking space in a strange car.
"Will you suck it?"
Connor raised a wary eyebrow to Kyle. "I never knew you'd be so horny when you were drunk." Connor finally got them headed to their apartment after inching up and back a few times to get free from two tight bumpers.
"Will ya? Will you suck my dick?" Kyle asked excitedly, then moaned and rubbed his face.
"Unreal, Kyle. I can't believe you're asking me this when you're complete toast. Great timing, buddy." Connor kept peering at Kyle as he drove, making sure he was okay. "If you have to puke, tell me."
"No. Not yet anyway." Kyle slouched, legs splayed out. "Sorry, Connor."
"Don't worry about it." After a fifteen minute drive, Connor parked at their apartment building and paused before he got out. "Hey."
With an effort Kyle turned to face him, his eyelids appearing heavy.
"When you're sober, ask me again."
"What?" Kyle inhaled sharply.
"You heard me." Connor opened the car door, walking around to help Kyle.
When Kyle was standing, Connor held onto him and escorted him to their lobby door.
"Did you say what I think you said?"
"Yeah. See if you remember it in the morning."
"Are you kidding me?"
Connor smiled.
"For real?" Kyle asked.
Connor winked at him.
Finally managing to get his friend inside their tiny two-bedroom abode, Connor turned on a light and tossed Kyle's keys on the table.
"I need to be sick now."
"Shit. I figured this was coming." Connor grabbed Kyle and raced with him to the toilet.
Once Kyle was on his knees before the porcelain throne, he threw up the contents of his stomach. Connor knelt next to Kyle and stroked his back softly until he was through. "You dork. Don't you know never to drink the stupid concoctions at a frat party?" Connor flushed the toilet as Kyle recuperated.
Kyle sat back on his heels and squinted over at Connor, looking like hell. "Remind me never to drink this much again."
"No problem." Connor pushed Kyle's hair back from his face, feeling his sweat. "Why don't you rinse out your mouth at the sink?"
Kyle stared at him and sighed. "I love you."
Connor smiled softly. "I love you too. Now let's get you to bed." He helped Kyle stand. Once he had the water running in the sink, Kyle leaned down and gulped it, spitting it out again.
"You want toothpaste?"
"No." Kyle cringed and leaned back as if the idea revolted him.
"Okay." Connor brought him to his bed.
Like a cannonball, Kyle landed on it heavily. "I feel like shit."
"You look like shit too." Connor took Kyle's tennis shoes and t-shirt off.
While Kyle peered down at him, Connor opened Kyle's top button of his jeans, then his zipper. Once Connor slid his pants down, he nudged Kyle. "Get some rest."
Kyle groaned as Connor lifted the sheet over him. "Connor, wait."
Connor paused.
"What you said. About me asking about a blowjob."
"Let's talk about it tomorrow, Kyle."
"Connor..." Kyle bit his lip, then said, "Thanks for taking care of me."
"No problem. Goodnight, Kyle."
"Goodnight, Connor."
Connor shut off Kyle's light and returned to the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth. Exhausted, he stripped for bed. As he lay in the darkened room, listening to the sounds in the units around him, he thought about Kyle and beginning a sexual relationship with him. Was he insane? He knew what he wanted but was petrified of taking it. "Enough denial. You are going to do this."
The weariness catching up to him, Connor closed his eyes and fell asleep.
The morning hit hard and Kyle rubbed his aching head. His mouth tasted like a sewer. He tried to maneuver himself upright, then sat still, pretending he wasn't dying. He managed to get to his feet and felt his way to the bathroom, shielding his eyes. He urinated and washed his face, brushed his teeth, and gargled with mouthwash, then looked for his roommate.
He found Connor awake, his hands propped behind his head, staring at the ceiling.
"Hey."
Connor turned to look at him and smiled sadly. "You look awful."
"Well, it matches the way my head feels." He sat on Connor's bed and groaned.
"Don't drink that much next time."
"Oh, don't worry. That was the first and last time." He flopped back across Connor's body and moaned pathetically.
"Poor baby." Connor stroked Kyle's hair softly as Kyle's head rested on his lap.
Kyle closed his eyes and concentrated on Connor's hand in his hair. "I didn't forget what you said last night." Kyle paused, loving Connor's caress. "Were you hoping I would?"
"No." Connor ran his index finger down Kyle's sideburn, then combed his fingers through his hair again.
Kyle rolled over to see his face. Connor let his hand rest by his side. "I'm very attracted to you, Connor."
"Likewise."
Kyle made himself more comfortable on Connor's lap, loving the solid thighs under him. He studied Connor's jaw with its incredibly dark shadow of a night's growth. "What should we do? Should we try it out?"
"I want to. Believe me." Connor cupped Kyle's cheek.
Kyle wanted Connor so badly he ached. They gazed at one another in silence. Kyle refused to release the hold of Connor's crystal blue eyes. He gently removed Connor's hand and turned it over, kissing his palm.
With his free hand Connor dug through Kyle's hair again. "You're a real good friend, Kyle. I mean that. But...can we do this? I mean, go gay?"
"How do I know? I can't answer for you. I've known I was gay since I was seven."
"Me too." Connor smiled sadly, averting Kyle's gaze.
"You think it's fate? The way we met and get along?"
Connor kept petting him gently. "I've never had a friend like you before. I feel I can tell you anything, and you'll listen without criticizing me. That you'll defend me, and even protect me if I need it, that you give me confidence when I have none."
Kyle whispered, "That's what a lover is supposed to do. Isn't it?" Kyle waited for some kind of response. When Connor nodded slightly, Kyle added, "Do I turn you on?"
"Hell yeah. Like crazy." Connor stroked his way down Kyle's neck. "I don't want to sound like an idiot, Kyle, but even now, just laying here like this. I mean, if anyone knew we did this, they'd kill us for being queer. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I mean, it feels natural to touch you. Does it make you uncomfortable?"
"No. I don't mind you touching me, Connor. On the contrary."
"I've never felt this comfortable with a girl. I always feel like I have to pretend I'm in control and play the leader. But I can be myself with you. You let me." Connor's expression darkened. "I know my family would freak if they knew. That's why I keep trying to go with a woman. But in my heart I know it's useless."
Kyle wanted him. He never wanted anyone else in his life like he wanted this man. "Connor...we can keep it quiet. No one has to know."
"If our teammates or my dad finds out, Kyle," Connor hissed an anxious breath through his teeth, "I'm dead."
"I know. I hear how the guys are on the team. That check you got to the groin, the crap they give Donald Mulhouse? You think I don't know?"
"They'd beat the crap out of us. And I'm talking on and off the field, Kyle. They already kick my ass during practice and scrimmages. Do you have any idea the amount of illegal checking I get? I'm a mass of bruises." Connor met his eyes once more.
"Yes. I know." Kyle shifted his weight so he was beside Connor instead of on his lap. "So? Are we too intimidated to do this? Or what?"
"I want you." Connor's eyes filled with tears.
When Kyle noticed them, he didn't realize how upset it made him. He sat up immediately and took Connor to his chest, rubbing Connor's back. He dug his hands through Connor's hair, rocking him. Kyle felt a catch in his throat. "You have me."
Connor sat back and pecked Kyle's lips. "I do need to take a piss and brush my teeth first though."
"I'm not going anywhere." Kyle released their embrace.
"Good." Connor smiled at him, then headed to the bathroom.
Kyle was surprised Connor wasn't naked. He was wearing a pair of blue briefs. Once Connor had left the room, Kyle peeked down at his own briefs. His hard-on was tenting the fabric and a small damp stain was visible. "Damn." He heard the water running in the sink and felt his heart beating faster at the idea that he and Connor Worthington were about to have sex, or do something sexy anyway.
Kyle had touched other boys. He had no idea the extent of Connor's experience, other than the comment about a cheerleader and a couple of BJ's. Was it a lie? He was about to find out.
~
Connor spat the toothpaste into the sink and rinsed his mouth, then he tried to tame his hair with his brush. As he caught his eyes in the mirror, he paused. Are you going to do this?
After a quick peek at his crotch, seeing his cock's erect outline under his briefs, he inhaled for bravery. "Yes. Goddamn it. Yes."
He tossed the hairbrush on the sink, stood tall, and shut off the light as he exited the bathroom. Pushing aside the clacking beads, he marched back to his bedroom and a waiting Kyle. When he stood in the doorway, he caught Kyle removing his hand from his underwear as if he'd been spotted doing something illegal. The blush on Kyle's cheeks was deep crimson.
Boldly, Connor dug his thumbs into his own waistband and yanked his briefs down. The moment he did, his cock sprung upright, whacking his abdomen.
"Connor..." Kyle squirmed out of his, throwing them on the floor.
Connor tried not to let this carnal act of pleasure kill him. Years of constantly desiring the touch of another man, being turned off by every female contact, jacking off to photos of male models in the International Jock catalogue...enough was enough. He had to do this. He was twenty. Time to make love to a guy and become a man.
He took one step closer and felt terrified. "Help me." When he said it, Connor couldn't believe he verbalized his fear.
Like a jackrabbit, Kyle sprang off the bed and hugged Connor. "Calm down. We won't do anything you don't want to do."
Once a strong tremor passed over Connor, he replied, "I want to do everything. I'm just scared someone will find out."
"Not from me they won't." Kyle tightened his hold.
Just the contact of their skin from their chests to their thighs made Connor delirious. He wrapped his arms around Kyle's back and rested his head on Kyle's shoulder. "You smell so good."
Kyle chuckled softly. "I'm surprised you're saying that after what I went through last night. I was even going to offer to shower."
Connor sniffed Kyle's neck. "No. Don't."
"Let's lay back down. Okay?"
"Yes." Connor allowed Kyle to escort him and was grateful Kyle was being so patient.
Side by side again on top of the bedding, Connor was able to relax and slow down his anxious pulse.
Kyle stroked Connor's long hair, pushing it behind his shoulder. "What do you want to do?"
Connor bit his lip. "I've never made love to a man before." It was his turn to feel the blush rise to his cheeks. "I sound like such an idiot."
"Why? Just because you were afraid? Do you think you were the only one who felt that way the first time?"
Connor swallowed down a dry throat. "Have you touched a guy?"
"Yes." Kyle waited, as if he expected some rebuking, which was absurd.
"You...you have?" Connor instantly felt jealous of all the other males who had contact with Kyle. "What have you done with them?"
After a shrug, Kyle replied, "Some kissing. Some jacking off."
"Wow." Connor was afraid to tell Kyle he'd had his dick sucked by a male, not female, tutor and a stranger in a public bathroom. It was so long ago, Connor could barely remember either act with any detail.
"I've never had oral or anal sex with a guy."
That thought brightened Connor's mood. "I'd be your first?"
"Yes."
His jealousy vanished instantly. "I want Kyle Baker's cherry."
Kyle laughed shyly.
In the pause that followed, Connor took a moment to inspect Kyle's body from head to toe. He had admired it from afar since they met on the lacrosse field and from close up in the locker room. But never this close. Close enough, and with permission, to touch. Connor raised his hand, tentatively hovering over Kyle's abdomen and chest.
Kyle took Connor's hand and placed it on his body for him. "Go on. Check me out."
"Shit." Connor squirmed and his cock bobbed at the warmth of Kyle's skin under his palm.
As Kyle stretched out on the bed, making himself comfortable, Connor began his journey. First he smoothed his hand over Kyle's chest, feeling the nub of an erect nipple. At the sound of the tiny hiss of air Kyle breathed in excitement, Connor felt his dick going hard as stone between his legs. "Everything I'm doing is making me crazy."
"Good." Kyle urged his hand lower. "Keep going."
Connor ran his palm down the rippled muscles of Kyle's abdomen. Once he passed Kyle's belly button, he bumped into the head of Kyle's engorged cock. The slit was seeping clear liquid which stuck to Connor's knuckles. Connor brought it to his mouth and tasted it.
Kyle said nothing, as if allowing Connor to go at his own pace.
Connor ran his thumb over Kyle's slit and again sucked the pre-cum off his finger. After glancing at Kyle's expression, for reassurance that what he was doing was okay, Connor brought his focus back to Kyle's cock. They nearly matched in length, though Kyle's curved slightly while Connor's dick was straight. Their pubic hair was the same color, but Connor's bush was thicker and he had more hair on his lower abdomen than Kyle did. Connor thought it made sense, since his beard growth was coarser than Kyle's.
While he bit his lip at his excitement, Connor caressed Kyle's sack where it rested between his thighs.
"Fuck yeah." Kyle spread his legs. "Connor, your touch is unbelievable."
"I feel like such a novice. It's weird being twenty and not having any experience." Connor cupped his hand around Kyle's balls and watched Kyle's cock react, throbbing and turning a darker shade of red.
"Just go for it. There isn't anything you can do that I won't like."
Connor met Kyle's brown eyes and smiled mischievously into them. "Yeah?"
"Yeah." Kyle returned Connor's impish grin.
Instantly Connor sat upright for a better angle. With his left hand he toyed with Kyle's tightening sack, and with his right, he wrapped his fingers around Kyle's dick.
"Oh yes," Kyle moaned, raising his hips.
"Nice?" Connor admired Kyle's body during the hand-job. "You going to spurt?"
After Kyle showed his teeth in a grimace, he replied, "Unless you want me to hold back."
"Hang on." Connor slid lower on the bed, stopping his hand movement. The sound of Kyle's panting breath filled the four bare walls of the bedroom.
Connor held Kyle's cock upright and licked the tip.
"Oh, holy fuck." Kyle arched his back and his fingers tightened on the bedding below.
"Is it really your first blowjob?"
"Yes," Kyle groaned. "You better be ready when I shoot spunk. 'Cause I'm not going to last with you licking me."
A big smile on his lips at being Kyle's first, Connor gave the head of Kyle's cock another long wet lap. The reaction from Kyle was so exciting, Connor's own cock was beginning to drip and throb.
"Jesus."
"Mm. Nice. I like it. I knew I would." Connor maneuvered himself between Kyle's thighs and put the head of Kyle's cock into his mouth.
"Ah," Kyle whimpered, "Connor...holy shit."
Connor dipped Kyle's cock deeper into his mouth, loving it. He inhaled Kyle's musky scent, savored Kyle's pre-cum on his tongue. He massaged Kyle's balls happily all the while getting into a rhythm to make Kyle come.
"You better be ready," Kyle gasped. "Ah! Too late!"
To Connor's surprise, his mouth filled with cum. He had already decided to swallow, so he gulped and blinked when another full load hit his tongue. That second blast he wasn't expecting. He swallowed it down as well and waited to see how much more would flow out of Kyle.
When the pulsating of Kyle's cock slowed down, Connor backed up and paused to see if more cum would emerge from the slit. Only a tiny drop glistened at the tip, so Connor lapped it off. He sat up, very proud of himself. It was then he noticed Kyle's eyes were sealed tight and he was rocking his hips side to side gently.
"Good?"
"Oh my God." Kyle grabbed his own dick and tugged on it.
"I swallowed. What do you think? Pretty good, eh?"
In an echo of his previous thoughts, Kyle kept repeating the same line, appearing stunned at the result.
"You gonna live?" Connor laughed at him. When Kyle jolted upright on the bed and connected to Connor's mouth, Connor's eyes widened in shock. With Kyle's tongue inside his mouth, Connor was urged to lie flat on the bed.
Connor grew used to Kyle's kisses, relaxing as Kyle took charge. Once he was on his back on the bedding, Connor went limp, pliable, and knew it was Kyle's turn to play.
The kissing was unbelievable. Connor cupped the back of Kyle's head, encouraging him to continue. First Connor was sucking on Kyle's tongue, then they'd switch. It was so arousing, Connor began to writhe on the bed. Yeah, he'd kissed girls, but he never wanted to.
He wanted to kiss boys.
He wanted to kiss Kyle Baker.
"I am kissing you," he mumbled between those kisses.
The comment made Kyle chuckle. He paused, smiling down at Connor. "Yes, you are. You like it?"
"Do I? Forget class and practice, forget studying." Connor dragged Kyle's mouth to his again. While he moaned in bliss, his balls were grabbed. Oh yes, touch me. Connor spread his legs in invitation.
Soon he was panting so hard he had to part from Kyle's mouth to gain air. When he did, both he and Kyle looked down Connor's body to the contact Kyle was making with it.
"Nice cock, Worthington."
"Yeah?" Connor breathed heavily. "Jesus, that feels so good, Kyle."
"This is going to feel even better." Kyle slid downwards.
Connor's heart went wild under his ribcage and his gasping echoed in the bare room. The minute Kyle wrapped his hot, wet lips around the head of Connor's dick, Connor whimpered and began jerking his hips to get in.
"I'm gonna come. I'm gonna come," Connor warned, grabbing Kyle's shoulders to squeeze as the rush began making its way through his balls.
Kyle sucked harder and faster.
Connor could not believe the sensation. "Oh. Jesus!" He thrust his hips and climaxed. It was so intense, Connor had no idea coming could feel this good.
As Kyle massaged his nuts and sucked him dry, Connor nearly passed out from the strength of the orgasm. "Kyle...Kyle..." he groaned.
"Wow." Kyle sat up, wiping his mouth off with the back of his hand.
"You okay?" Connor asked, reaching for him. "Was it good or did you hate it?"
"Hate it?" Kyle laughed like the comment was absurd and dropped heavily next to Connor on the bed. Once they were side by side again, Kyle wrapped his arms and legs around Connor and cuddled against him. "I loved it. I can't believe I just sucked your cock."
Connor chuckled wearily. "It felt so good. I mean so much better than anything I've ever had before."
"Good." Kyle wiped his own forehead, which was glistening in sweat.
Once they settled down, and their breathing had resumed a normal rate, Connor rested his face on Kyle's chest, closing his eyes as the urge to sleep washed over him. "I used to sneak the International Jock catalogues into the house and use them to jack off."
Kyle's chest rumbled with his soft laugh. "When I was twelve I got off watching the college kid next door. He used to mow the lawn in just a pair of gym shorts."
Connor chuckled. "You ever jack off with him?"
"No. He was dating some chick. I wouldn't dare ask a guy to do that unless I was sure."
"I was never sure." Connor inhaled deeply, blowing out an exhale across Kyle's chest. They did the asking, not me.
"It's hard. I've been there." Kyle combed his fingers through Connor's hair. "You take a chance of getting the crap beaten out of you every time you try. It sucks."
"That's why I never tried. I got enough abuse without making a play at another guy."
"Yeah." Kyle stroked Connor's hair, almost lulling him to sleep. "I still can't believe the hits you take to the crotch during scrimmages. I swear, Connor, you don't seem gay to me. Not at all."
"I try to keep up the macho image, you know?" Connor yawned.
"I know." After a pause, Kyle said, "That's why the only reason I can think of for you getting a hit like that, is the guys doing it are hot for you."
"Sure, Kyle. Sure." Connor didn't believe that for a second.
"Some guys are so petrified of being attracted to another man, they do strange things."
"Maybe I should quit lacrosse and become a rock star."
Kyle tugged at the long strands of Connor's hair, raising them into the air and letting them drop again on his chest. "You sing well. Do you play any instruments?"
"Yeah, the guitar a little."
"There ya go. Perfect cover for a gay guy."
Connor smiled. "Will you be my roadie?"
"Heck yeah."
"Good." Connor kissed his chest and nestled closer. "Good."
Kyle was determined to protect Connor.
This illegal slashing and tripping had to stop.
Kyle adjusted his helmet, his gloved-hands gripping the lacrosse stick. As he chewed on the mouth guard, he watched Connor squatting midfield, ready for the faceoff to begin the practice match.
The official blew his whistle. Connor scooped up the ball into his crosse netting and passed it efficiently to a teammate in the attack area. Just as Kyle sprinted downfield to get into a good position, he caught Connor reacting to a hit.
What the fuck?
Kyle spotted one of their own men illegally bodychecking Connor, the end of Ross Cartmen's stick clearly visible between Connor's legs and hitting him in the groin at the same time.
Kyle went berserk and bit down on the mouth guard as he screamed in fury.
Connor dropped to his knees in pain but play continued as the officials' focus was near the end line. Kyle spit out the plastic in his teeth and crouched down next to Connor.
Finally a field judge noticed the action and whistles blew.
"Fuck!" Kyle cried. "Connor! You okay?"
After a few deep inhales, Connor hissed through clenched teeth, "Yeah."
When a referee approached, Kyle jumped to his feet, flailing out his arms in anger. "Didn't you see that illegal check?"
"Kyle..." Connor stood up slowly. "Forget it."
"Forget it?" Kyle was breathing fire. A crowd of players gathered around them.
The referee said, "I was watching the action near the goal."
Kyle searched the spectators for the culprit. Ross was conveniently not within hearing range for the accusation.
"You need to get off the field?" the referee asked Connor.
"No." Connor stuffed the mouthpiece back into his mouth and held the crosse ready.
Another whistle blew and the game resumed.
The minute he was able to, Kyle made a direct line to Ross and hit him in the back with his lacrosse stick.
The referees immediately spotted that illegal act and Kyle was suspended for three minutes to the sidelines.
When he walked off the field, Head Coach Banks and Assistant Coach Knox collared him. "What the hell are you doin', Baker? Illegally checking your own teammate?"
"You're going to get thrown off the team if you keep that up," Assistant Coach Knox said.
Kyle removed his mouth guard and roared, "Didn't you see what he did to Connor?"
Coach Banks looked confused and exchanged glances with his assistant coach.
Kyle threw up his hands. "Why am I the only one with eyes on this field?" He felt like strangling someone.
"Cool off. I won't put you back in the game with that attitude."
As soon as the coaches walked away, Kyle resisted the urge to give them the finger. Fuck! Connor? What the hell is wrong with Ross? Why is he tormenting you?
Kyle rose to his feet as the action on the field became intense. Connor was aggressively going after the ball, legally, and flung it beyond the goalie into the net, scoring.
Though it was reason to celebrate, Connor didn't. He lowered his head and jogged back to his position.
Kyle couldn't wait until he could get his hands on Ross. He was going to kill him.
~
The locker room was loud as cleats hit linoleum. They won but it didn't feel like a win to Connor. He was battered.
As he stood before his locker, he cringed and dropped his helmet to the bench, sitting down slowly to remove his shoes and socks.
Shouting erupted from someplace else in the room. Connor recognized Kyle's voice.
"Shit." Connor stood up and headed to the noise. In the midst of a crowd of teammates trying to break up a fight, Connor found Kyle pinning Ross Cartmen to the wall.
"This abuse better stop, asshole!"
"Fuck you, Baker! Get off me!"
No. Oh, God, Kyle, no. Connor covered his mouth in frustration.
"Break it up!" Coach Banks intervened. "What the hell's going on? Can't we save our energy for the game on the field?"
Kyle's teeth were showing as he said, "Tell him to lay the fuck off of Connor! Coach, he's constantly committing personal fouls on the guy. His own teammate and captain. Ask him why, Coach!"
Connor cringed and closed his eyes. This isn't happening.
A murmur emerged from the crowd of men.
Connor could swear he heard Kevin and Dick say "Because he's a faggot," in a hissing whisper.
He staggered backwards, reaching for the wall and returned to his locker. The argument continued behind a column of lockers, echoing in the bad acoustics.
"I don't care what's going on between you, morons! But this shit better stop!" Coach Banks roared.
Connor took off his uniform and pads, changing into his street clothing without a shower.
"Ask him!" Kyle's voice cracked. "Ask this fucking moron why he's attacking Connor!"
Connor winced in agony at what may be revealed. He shut his locker door and headed to the exit.
"Where is Connor?" Coach Banks asked.
"Connor?"
As his name was called by several teammates, Connor left the room and hurried home. He was so upset with Kyle he was near tears. Out me! Come on, Kyle! Out me! You idiot!
Since Kyle had driven them to campus, Connor walked home. He was in so much pain he was limping slightly. Biting his lip, holding back his emotions, Connor waited at a crosswalk for the traffic signal to change, wiping at the sweat on his temples. He was mortified by the events in the locker room. He could never show his face there again.
Finished. I can't do this anymore.
Just as he rounded the bend on the corner where his apartment was, he heard the beep of a car horn.
Kyle pulled into the parking lot behind him.
Connor didn't wait. He removed his key from his pocket and jammed it into the door lock.
"Connor!"
Connor threw open the lobby door and stormed up the staircase.
"Wait up! Connor!"
He heard Kyle's heavy footsteps right behind him. When he felt Kyle's hand on his back, Connor jerked away and screamed, "Get the hell away from me!"
Kyle looked like he'd been kicked in the teeth.
Connor resumed his pace to their apartment.
"Connor? What did I do? I was---"
Before he opened the door to their unit, Connor spun around. "You humiliated me."
"What?"
"Did I ask you to confront Ross?"
Kyle's expression fell to a deep frown. "Just let me explain..."
Connor growled and impaled the lock, thrusting open the door. Again he felt Kyle's touch on his shoulder. He shrunk back and yelled, "Don't touch me!" He threw his backpack down and headed to the bathroom to shower.
~
Kyle was speechless. He closed the door behind him and placed his books beside Connor's. "What did I do? I was defending you. I thought I was..." his voice trailed off. The shower started in the bathroom.
Rubbing his coarse jaw in agony, Kyle gathered back the plastic beads in one hand and stared at Connor through the shower doors as he washed. "Baby..." Kyle felt sick. Nothing mattered more to him than this man.
He opened the shower door a crack and looked in. The amount of red marks on Connor's back and legs was disheartening. "I'm sorry. I thought I was helping."
Connor spun around, looking enraged. "Helping?"
"I can't take that homophobe beating on you. I can't."
"Don't you think everyone on the team knows he's a homophobe? And that's the reason why he's hitting me?"
The amount of pain on Connor's face was killing him. "No."
"How could they not!" Connor yelled, his voice echoing off the wet tile.
Kyle started breaking down. "He said...he said he was jealous you were captain." Kyle wiped at his eyes roughly. "That he wanted to be a captain."
Connor's body went limp as if he couldn't keep up the anger.
"Look at you." Kyle had to stop himself from weeping. Connor's body was so bruised it was painful to see. "Forgive me."
With his right hand Connor shut off the water and stood dripping, his head down, his hair pasted to his cheeks and neck.
Kyle took a towel off the rail and slid the door wider. As Connor stood still, Kyle patted him dry. "I'm so sorry."
In a quick movement, Connor embraced Kyle, drawing him to his chest.
At first Kyle thought Connor was going to get violent and push him away. But that didn't happen.
Kyle encircled Connor in his arms and picked him up, lifting him out of the tub. They stood together in the steamy room, rocking, trying not to cry.
"Forgive me." Kyle's eyes stung.
"I forgive you."
Kyle held Connor's hand, leading him to Connor's double bed. With a gentle gesture, Kyle persuaded Connor to lie back on it.
Naked, his eyes shining, Connor relaxed with a hand across his belly and one of his knees bent.
As he stared down at the vision on the bed, Kyle kicked off his shoes and removed his clothing. Once he was undressed, Kyle joined him, reaching to touch Connor's bronze skin. Kyle made the rounds of the reddish bruises on Connor's torso, lightly tickling his fingertips over them, wishing them gone. He dug into Connor's pubic hair, massaging his groin, hearing Connor release a breath between his teeth.
"Too hard?" Kyle asked, easing up on this pressure.
"Very hard."
Kyle glanced downwards. Connor's cock was standing out from his body like a pole. "Make love to me."
"I'd prefer it if you'd make love to me."
Cupping Connor's jaw, Kyle made Connor meet his eyes. "You sure?"
"Yes."
"I don't want to hurt you."
"You won't."
Kyle didn't know what to do. Had they prepared? I don't even have a rubber.
As if reading his mind, Connor smiled. "In the nightstand drawer."
"What?" Kyle asked. "You mean?"
Connor nodded, a loving smile on his lips.
Almost on a dare, Kyle sat up and took a look. Condoms and lubrication. "Son of a bitch."
Connor laughed softly. "Wishful thinking. What can I say?"
"I'm glad," Kyle replied. "I didn't even imagine we'd...well, I imagined it but---"
"Kyle?"
"Yes?"
"Grab the lube."
Kyle's heart skipped a beat. Connor Worthington is inviting me in? How lucky can I get? Trying not to shake with excitement, Kyle retrieved both items they needed and dropped them onto the bed. His own cock bobbed at the thought of penetration. The urge to screw Connor was strong.
Great, now I'm hyperventilating.
While Kyle tried to get a grip on his libido, Connor leaned over and took his cock into his mouth. Kyle grunted loudly and closed his eyes. "You do that for long and I'm never going to make it inside your ass."
Connor parted from him with a slurp and licked his lips teasingly. "I love doing that to you."
"Good." Kyle held back a wave of orgasmic chills. It seemed he was taking too long, because Connor tore open the rubber package and rolled the condom on Kyle's erection.
"Make-up sex?" Kyle tried to laugh but he was panting too hard.
"That'll work." Connor opened the new tube of gel and inspected it. He squeezed a blob onto his fingertips and began massaging Kyle's sheathed cock.
"Holy Christ!" Kyle pinched the base of his dick to prevent coming.
Connor stopped what he was doing. "Can you lube up my ass then?"
Before Connor could react, Kyle snatched the tube from his hand and urged Connor to his back. He caught Connor's wicked smile and felt his cheeks heat up.
With Connor splayed out, knees bent, straddled and exposed, Kyle knelt between Connor's thighs. "Jesus...I'm gonna spurt just looking at you." The tube made a noise when he squeezed it. "That was the lube."
Connor cracked up with laughter and Kyle was very glad to see his mood improve.
With his index finger, Kyle began his exploration of Connor's body. No one had made Kyle as excited as this before. At least no one real. Yeah, he'd jacked off to models, but this wasn't a magazine, this was flesh and blood. His best friend, his roommate, his captain, his...lover.
Connor braced his back with both arms, trapping them behind him to aid in propping his bottom up. Suddenly it felt like Kyle was going to get the dominance he craved. Boldly Kyle pushed his fingertip into Connor's rim.
"Ahh...yes."
That encouragement was all Kyle needed. The gel was making it so easy to slip inside, he was amazed. "Wow."
"Wow." Connor echoed, his head pressed backwards into the pillows, his eyes closed.
Kyle tried not to look at the purplish bruise that marred Connor's groin. Instead, he looked at his crimson cock head. A bead of clear fluid began emerging from the tip.
Kyle dipped two fingers in. Connor's hips jerked upwards and he groaned. As he finger-fucked Connor, Kyle's own dick throbbed with his beating heart. He made sure the condom was on tightly and shifted his body to replace his fingers with his dick.
Right before he drove in, he leaned down and licked the drop on Connor's slit.
"Oh, Jesus." Connor's body levitated off the mattress for a moment.
"Wish I could suck and fuck you simultaneously."
"Me too." Connor propped up his bottom with his arms. "Take me."
A shiver coursed over Kyle's spine. He inched closer, holding his cock in his right hand and Connor's thigh with his left.
The moment he was on target, Connor wiggled downward, forcing Kyle's cock in deeper.
"Mother-fucker!" Chills covered Kyle's skin.
"Omygod...ohmygod..." Connor worked himself onto Kyle's cock as Kyle held his breath in amazement.
"You okay?" Kyle needed to begin fucking or he'd go insane.
"Yes!"
"I can screw you?"
"Yes!"
"Harder?"
"Jesus Christ, Kyle! Yes!"
Kyle got into a better position and held onto Connor's hips. He slipped out of Connor's body to the end of his cock, and jammed it back in. The gel made it silky smooth. "I'm not going to last."
"Holy shit!" Connor used both his arms to help propel him against Kyle.
"I'm going for it."
"Please!"
The surge to his cock and balls was mind-blowing. Kyle kept his eyes open, staring from Connor's engorged dick to his fabulous face. In earnest, Kyle hammered into Connor, hoping Connor would tell him to stop if it got uncomfortable.
As Kyle neared his climax, Connor went crazy underneath him, jamming his body upwards to get maximum penetration.
"Ah! Ah!"
Kyle blinked in shock when Connor shot cum all over himself, his body shivering and his dick spewing out a creamy load. It was all Kyle needed. He pushed in to the hilt and felt his cock throbbing. The pleasure was so intense Kyle thought he was going to go into a seizure.
His nuts went tight, his back arched, and his eyelids sealed shut. Somewhere from deep inside his chest, Kyle grunted like a rutting bull. He slid his dick in and out two more times, then his arms gave out with fatigue and he collapsed on top of Connor.
His dick came out of Connor's body and he felt Connor's heart pounding under his cheek.
They didn't speak or move, catching their breath.
Finally Connor shifted side to side to free his trapped hands and held Kyle close.
As Kyle recuperated, he felt the sticky cum and sweat sealing them together. "Connor..."
"I know."
"Oh, Connor..." Kyle rocked his head as if to tell Connor how amazing it was.
Connor laughed wearily. "Unreal."
"How are we going to get anything done now?"
"I don't know." Connor's tired laugh began to rise to hilarity.
While Connor shook with laughter, Kyle found the energy to crawl higher up his body and enjoy his pleasure.
"Come 'ere." Connor cupped Kyle's jaw and kissed him. When he parted he said, "You're covered in my spunk."
"Yup." Kyle wiggled his sticky crotch on Connor's. "I like it."
Connor gazed into Kyle's eyes first, then drew him to his lips to kiss.
Kyle dropped on top of him, encircling Connor's body with his arms and devouring his mouth.
Connor felt someone tugging his arm as he crossed the campus grounds to his next class.
"Why didn't you tell me you were gay?"
"What?" Connor's heart stopped in his throat.
Hannah put her hands on her hips. "I think it's cool. I just don't know why you didn't say something. I thought you were just being mean to me."
"What...when...I'm not---" Connor wondered if this is what a heart attack felt like.
"Vicky sent me a text message this morning." Hannah began hitting buttons on her phone with her thumbs. "It says, 'Don't worry, it's not you. Connor's gay'." She held up the phone for him to read it.
"I...I'm not..." Connor shook his head in denial.
"Vicky is in psych class with a guy named Donald Mulhouse. He's on your lacrosse team, right? Well, Donald said you and Kyle had a fight with one of the guys on the team because he's like a total homophobe..."
A ringing came to Connor's ears. He felt sick. "I have to go." He turned away and started walking.
"Well, I think it's cool, Connor! Very cool!"
The sensation of chills and nausea was causing him to get dizzy. She didn't just tell me that. Please tell me I'm having a nightmare.
When Connor was closing in on his next lecture hall, he stopped outside the door and found his mobile phone. He never turned it on and only used it if he had to. He waited for it to light up and felt it buzzing in his hand with missed messages.
Connor took a quick look at his surroundings before he checked his text messages and voicemail.
He had two texts from Hannah; one was pre-fight, accusing him of being an asshole, the other was an apology, post-locker room argument.
Next he read several more from the girls at the dormitory he lived at, Jean and Loraine. They had also heard he was gay and were announcing how proud they were of him "coming out".
He put the phone to his ear to hear his mother's message.
"Are you coming home this weekend? Let me know. Stay for dinner this time."
Connor read the time and date, then checked his watch. His mother had called while Kyle took his virginity. How ironic.
"Hey."
Connor raised his head to Kyle's smile. "Hey."
"You okay?"
With his concentration back on his phone, Connor located the second message from Hannah and held it up for Kyle to read.
His smile dropped. "What the fuck?"
"Seems Donald Mulhouse told Vicky about the argument in the locker room."
"No." Kyle shook his head. "Don't be upset with me again. Please, Connor."
Connor shut off his phone and stuffed it into his backpack. "I'm out, Kyle. Whether I like it or not."
"Wait. Come on. No one could get that idea from what happened in the locker."
"No one?" Connor almost choked at the absurdity.
"But---" Kyle stammered, "Mulhouse is the guy Kevin accused of being gay. Why would he say that about you?"
"Great diversion tactic, don't you think?" Connor was about to combust. He just wasn't sure who to be mad at.
"He's engaged." Kyle followed Connor into the building, lowering his voice. "We met his fiancée at the kegger, remember?"
"All I know is that I feel ill." At the touch of Kyle's hand on his shoulder, Connor flinched in panic. "Are you nuts?"
Kyle appeared insulted and backed off. "Jesus, Connor. I thought we knew each other better than this."
"You want to come out? I dare you, big shot. Come out at practice. Put your money where your mouth is."
"What good will that do?" Kyle paused at their classroom. "Most people know we're roommates. Remember? You told your old dorm buddies where you live. And I haven't hid it. I didn't see a reason to in the beginning."
That cold sensation made its way to Connor's mid-section again. He entered the lecture hall and felt like a zombie. He couldn't win.
~
Kyle was a mass of guilt. Maybe he should have thought through the confrontation with Ross first before he had it out with him in a locker room filled with teammates. He could have dealt with his anger better. In private.
What did I do? I'm such an idiot.
Seeing the dread of persecution in Connor's eyes was torture. And knowing he was the cause? Agony.
They sat through economics class, side by side, but as if they were strangers. No quick glances, smiles, playing footsie, nothing.
Kyle was daydreaming his way through the lecture while Connor scribbled notes beside him. He couldn't focus.
When the sound of shuffling surrounded him Kyle realized class was over. Snapping to attention, Kyle began loading his backpack up and feeling the presence of Connor beside him, like a steam cloud of anger.
Before Connor walked out of the hall without him, Kyle stopped him. "I'm sorry. Wait."
Connor let out a loud exhale and stood still, looking everywhere but at Kyle.
Kyle tossed his backpack over his shoulder and indicated he was ready. Once he and Connor were outside the building, Kyle asked, "I'll come out at practice. I don't care."
Connor stopped short and stared at him. "What's that supposed to prove?"
"That I'm gay, and I don't care what anyone thinks?" Kyle shrugged.
Another blast of stressful air came out of Connor's mouth. He lowered his head and kept moving across the campus.
Kyle kept up with his stride. "What else should I do? Connor, I'm just trying to fix things."
"Fix things," Connor echoed tiredly.
"Yes!" Kyle grabbed Connor's shoulder and spun him around to face him. "I will do anything for you. I love you, Connor."
Connor scanned the area quickly, then nodded to a grassy spot under a tree. They both sat down and were quiet, observing the surroundings, students coming and going, birds chirping in the cool breeze and airplanes flying overhead.
"What's your biggest fear?" Kyle asked. "Just people here and on the team knowing? Or your dad getting word of it?"
"A little of both. But mostly my dad." Connor combed his fingers back through his hair to get it out of his eyes.
"How would your dad find out?"
"I don't know. He has spies everywhere. I wouldn't doubt he knows one of the profs and will hear it. I don't put anything past him."
"What would he do?" Kyle touched Connor's arm.
Connor's eyes watered. "Kill me?"
Thinking it was a joke, Kyle was about to reply but stopped short. The look on Connor's face was too serious for it to be funny.
"Like literally?" Kyle couldn't believe a father would harm his son just because he was gay.
Connor asked, "Are you out to your parents?"
Kyle bit his lip. "No. I think my mom suspects it, but I've never said, 'Hey, I'm gay.'"
"And your dad?"
Kyle surveyed the campus. "I think he'd be disappointed but..." He met Connor's gaze. "He wouldn't hurt me."
Connor nodded, tearing out a blade of grass. "I'm quitting lacrosse."
"No!" Kyle was devastated.
"I can't do it anymore. I swear the next groin hit and I'll lose a nut."
"Talk to Coach Banks. He's aware of Ross going after you. He just thinks it's for other reasons. Don't quit, Connor."
"What's the point?" Connor looked worn out. "I need to keep my grades up and I'm not going anywhere with this sport. It was just for fun and to keep in shape. But I don't need it if all I do is get the crap beaten out of me every day."
Kyle couldn't imagine being on the team without him. "At least think about it. Or talk to the coach."
"Forget it, Kyle." Connor stood, brushing off his hand on his jeans.
"See ya after the next class?" Kyle hated the way things were hanging unresolved.
"No. I have to study and I need to use the computer. I'm going to the library. I'll catch ya later."
"Are you going to practice?"
Connor didn't answer.
Kyle watched Connor walk away. There had to be something he could do. He just had a feeling any decision he made for Connor would backfire on him.
~
Connor felt drained. He sat through his next lecture barely paying attention. He took out his turned off cell phone and stared at it. He wanted to text to everyone 'I'm not gay!' But that would be an exercise in futility.
"I am." He shrugged and put the phone back into his backpack's zipper pouch. He had practice later this afternoon. Was he going or not?
When Connor walked to the library, he found Kyle lingering near Shapiro fountain. Behind Kyle was a backdrop of the surrounding LA hills. A cold wind blew Connor's hair around his face.
"Hey."
"Hey." Kyle approached him. "I wasn't sure you'd be happy to see me."
"When am I not?" Connor tried to smile. His being terrified of coming out of the closet was not Kyle's fault. It was his.
"You want to hit the library computers?"
"No." Connor gave Kyle a seductive smile.
"Oh?" Kyle lit up instantly.
"I'll do it later. After."
"After?"
Connor gestured for them to walk down the wide cement stairs. Once they were headed to the parking lot, Connor said, "I'm sorry, Kyle. I know you were just trying to help out."
"Thanks, Connor."
Connor checked his watch. "We have an hour and a half before practice."
"Are you going?"
"I don't know what to do."
Kyle unlocked the doors to his car. They climbed in and tossed their book bags in the back seat. "You should never let anyone defeat you. That's what."
Connor leaned his elbow on the passenger's door, resting his chin on his palm. "I'm tired of fighting for everything."
"I sometimes think it's easier to just let go and come clean."
"I'm terrified."
"Me too." Kyle drove to their apartment, parking in their assigned space. They hopped out and Connor opened the lobby door.
Connor felt Kyle watching his ass as they climbed the stairs. He peeked over his shoulder to confirm it. "Like it?"
Kyle instantly met his eyes and his cheeks went crimson.
"Want it?"
"Oh Christ..." Kyle massaged his crotch hungrily.
Connor smiled and opened the door to their apartment. He threw his backpack aside and headed straight to his bedroom, Kyle hot on his heels.
Connor spun around and toed off his shoes, watching Kyle as he did. While Connor undressed slowly, seductively, Kyle tore off his clothing like it was on fire.
Kyle dug through the nightstand drawer. "Do you want to screw me?"
"No. I want you in me."
Kyle shivered visibly and pumped his cock a few times. The expression of longing on his face was too good to believe.
Connor dropped his briefs onto the floor, crawled across the mattress on his hands and knees, and lay his head on the pillow. He spread his legs and hummed happily as he waited for Kyle.
"Holy shit, holy shit..." Kyle fumbled with the rubber, dropping it and snatching it up again.
"Mm... I love it when you're in me."
"Fuck. Fuck." Kyle shifted his weight from leg to leg, rolling the condom on.
The bed creaked with Kyle's weight.
Soon Connor felt lovely penetration with slick fingers. "God, that feels good!"
Once Kyle had given Connor's ass a good lube job, he toyed with Connor's balls gently where they hung between his thighs.
"You know exactly what I like."
"Connor, I'm dreaming. I thought today, after---"
"Be quiet and get in."
Connor closed his eyes. At the first sensation of pressure to his ass he tensed up, but soon had learned to relax his tightly wound muscles. The moment he did, and lovely friction massaged him internally, Connor let out a low moan of pleasure.
"You okay? Can I---"
"Go for it."
Connor's hips were grabbed in a vice-grip and Kyle penetrated to the hilt. Connor chewed on the pillow and forced his body to let go. Yes, let it all go. Forget the petty crap. This is what means something to me. Kyle and I making love.
Kyle began a rhythm of thrusting, grunting with each plunge.
Connor peeked between his own legs. His cock was thick and bobbing, swollen to the point of an impending climax. He could see Kyle's muscular thighs tensing, pressing against the back of his own legs. Kyle's vocalizations became louder, breathier.
Another deep thrust caused Kyle's balls to smack against Connor's sweaty ass. "Again," Connor said through clenched teeth. He wasn't even sure it was loud enough for Kyle to hear.
He was hammered hard, his face coming closer to the headboard. Connor braced his arms for the force. Oh, God! More!
Kyle morphed into piston-fucking-mode. Like a machine, he went into overdrive, their sweaty skin slapping together in delicious spanking noises.
This was how Connor wanted to be fucked. Yes, Kyle. Hump me raw.
The scent of testosterone mingled with cologne and deodorant. Connor took another look as his own dick. A thick string of pre-cum oozing from his slit was now connected to the bed.
Kyle clamped their hips together and howled, "Ahhfuck!!"
Connor felt Kyle's cock pulsating inside him, giving up its seed. "Yes. Oh, Kyle, yes!"
Kyle ground his pelvis hard against Connor as if savoring the aftershocks. Through his panting, Kyle asked, "Did...did you?"
"Close."
Immediately Kyle pulled out and urged Connor to his back. Kyle snapped off the rubber, dropping it over the side of the bed and dove between Connor's sweaty legs.
His dick plunged into Kyle's hot mouth. Connor arched his back in reflex and gripped the bedding for the ride.
When his balls were grabbed and massaged, his cock sucked to the root, Connor thought he'd pass out. He choked on his moan and closed his eyes. Kyle was sucking like his dick had just been bitten by a poisonous snake and he had to get the venom out or Connor would die.
He forced his eyes open to look. Kyle was on his knees, his eyes were closed, and he had one hand gripped to the base of Connor's cock while the other rubbed over his scrotum.
"Jesus!" Connor felt it stirring. "I'm there."
Kyle jerked in excitement, deepening his sucking and quickening his fisting.
The release was so incredible, Connor was floating. Imagining his spunk in Kyle's mouth as his dick throbbed, Connor had to grip the bed tighter just to endure the intensity.
Kyle lessened his deep-throating and began lapping Connor's slit. Seeing his best friend's tongue licking his dick was too much a fantasy for Connor. He had to pinch himself to believe it was reality. "Holy shit."
Kyle paused and met Connor's gaze. He gave Connor a wicked smile.
"You're fucking fearless." Connor touched his own chest. He was drenched.
"Me? I'm not the one getting a dick up my ass." Kyle sat back on his heels and wiped his face. "Christ. What a workout."
"Shit." Connor checked the time. "Workout. Practice."
"Fuck." Kyle leapt off the bed.
Connor trailed him to the bathroom. They turned on the shower and both jumped in for a quick rinse.
Kyle shut off the water and was about to grab a towel when Connor stopped him. "Wait."
Kyle appeared nervous. "What? You're not going to practice are you?"
"No. I am. I just wanted to tell you how incredible you are."
"Ditto." Kyle kissed him quickly. "Now let's get the hell out of here." As Kyle raced to dry off and get dressed he yelled back, "And I'm driving, no jogging!"
Connor laughed to himself, shaking his head.
~
It was strange in the locker room. Something had changed. It wasn't something he could put his finger on, more just a sixth sense.
Connor faced his locker and put his pads on, adjusting his cup. The bruise on his groin was still a yellowish-purple color. Not tender, just discolored.
"You okay?"
Connor peeked up at Kyle. "Yeah."
"Connor?"
Connor and Kyle looked up at Coach Banks.
"When you finish changing, I'd like a word with you."
"Okay, Coach." Connor waited until he left, then muttered, "Shit."
"Do you want me to go with you?"
"No. I'll be okay." Connor continued dressing. As he sat on the bench to pull up his socks, he noticed Donald Mulhouse turn away, as if he'd been watching him. Connor ground his jaw as he thought about Donald's gossip to Vicky, which led to Hannah, which went on and on...
He closed his locker and held his helmet and stick when he approached Donald. Connor glanced at Kyle and found him witnessing the contact.
"Hey, Don?"
"Yeah?" Donald continued to change into his uniform.
"Next time, let me spread the rumors, okay?"
Donald's cheeks went red. "Look, I didn't---"
"Yeah, ya did." Connor tried to keep calm, but he was about to combust. "You told Vicky that Ross and Kyle had a fight because I'm gay."
Donald flinched.
"Don't tell people I'm gay just because you're paranoid they think you are."
"No one thinks I'm gay." Donald turned pale next.
"No? Want to get Kevin Brown's opinion? He told me you were staring at my ass."
"I'm engaged. I'm not gay."
"I don't care what you are. Just don't spread shit about me or anyone else. You don't like it when they do it to you."
"I'm not gay."
Connor held up his hand. "Whatever. I don't give a shit if you are or aren't."
Donald looked down sheepishly. "We all know that's why Ross is after you on the field."
"Well, you didn't help matters did ya?" Connor was beginning to feel his anger rising.
"Sorry."
"Just don't spread gossip. I don't need this crap."
"Connor?"
Connor spun around to Coach Banks. He lowered his head and approached him, seeing Kyle looking more and more worried by the minute.
The coach led the way to his office and opened his door, gesturing for Connor to sit down. Connor leaned his crosse on the desk and dropped heavily into a chair, placing his helmet on his lap.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah."
"I don't want you to quit the team."
Connor shrugged, not meeting his gaze, wondering if his head coach could read his mind.
"I've had a talk with Ross. Next personal foul and he's out."
Connor rubbed his eyes. The possibility that the coach suspected he was gay was killing him. He preferred the macho jock image, but knew he wasn't butch like Kyle, and no one bought that macho act from him for a minute.
"Connor, look at me."
With reluctance, Connor did.
"A player's personal life is his own business. I don't give a shit what people do outside this arena. But I do care when it's about performance on the field."
"Sorry, Coach."
"You've got nothing to be sorry about. Your skill is outstanding. I don't want to lose you."
A lump formed in Connor's throat. "You won't."
"Good." Coach Banks touched Connor's arm. "Anything you need to get off your chest?"
His lip began to quiver and his eyes stung.
Coach Banks knelt in front of him. "You okay?"
Connor shook his head, scrubbing his eyes roughly with the backs of his hands.
"Come here."
Connor fell against him and held back his emotions. "I'm gay, Coach."
"I still don't give a shit."
Connor closed his eyes as his coach patted his back in comfort. "I'm sorry."
"Stop apologizing."
The coach coaxed Connor to sit straight in the chair. "You do what's comfortable for you. I'm not saying a word to anyone. It's no one's business. But..."
Connor stared into his stern expression.
"If any of the guys so much as says a snide comment, I want to know. You got that?"
"Yes."
"Good. Now get out of here and hit the field."
Connor stood up, taking his stick with him. He found Kyle lingering outside the office door.
"Shit. You're quitting." Kyle gestured to his red eyes.
"No. I'm not quitting. I just told the coach I'm gay."
"You did?" Kyle gasped as they headed out to the practice field. "What did he say?"
"He was very cool. He told me if anyone says anything to me, to let him know."
Kyle smiled and put his arm around Connor's shoulder as they walked.
They jogged the length of the field to warm up as the team began tossing the ball, spinning and cupping the nets before they took a shot at the goal or passed it to the next player.
Connor spotted Ross immediately and noticed Kyle had as well. "Coach said if he hits me again, he's off the team."
"Good." Kyle glared at Ross and Connor could see Ross returning the steely-eyed stare.
After their warm up, they set up to scrimmage. Connor crouched down for the faceoff. Ross was on the opposing side. This is not good.
Connor had a feeling Coach Banks thought it was wiser to keep them on opposite sides, but in reality, it gave Ross carte blanche for legal body checking, as long as Connor was in possession of the ball.
The second Connor had the ball in his netting, Ross approached like a locomotive. Connor threw it to Kyle in a lateral pass.
Ross backed off, but Connor knew a hit was inevitable. He took a quick look for his coach. Coach Banks was on the sideline, running up and down with the action.
I can't expect the guy to babysit me.
Connor inhaled deeply. Be a man. For crying out loud. You don't need a bodyguard. Ya fucking baby!
The opposing team had possession of the ball. Connor sprinted midfield and watched Ross catch the ball in his crosse. Connor rushed him for a legal body check, trying to loosen the ball. Ross' cradling techniques weren't the best and Connor knew he could jar the ball loose with little effort.
Instantly there was a ground ball and it was anyone's chance to grab it.
Connor scooped it up with intention of feeding it to a player within the attack area who may have a shot at a goal.
Ross reacted and cross-checked Connor, using the handle of the stick to whack Connor in the groin once again.
This time Connor sensed it coming. He spun around with the ball still in his webbing and missed a direct hit to his crotch by an inch.
It was the last straw. Connor couldn't handle it. He threw down the crosse, ball and all, and dove on top of Ross.
The surprise of the attack knocked the wind out of Ross. Whistles blew, but not before Connor spit out his mouth guard and pressed his helmet against Ross's. "You try that once more and I'll kick your ass!"
"Get off me!" Ross began hitting Connor with his gloved fist.
Connor was about to punch back when he was grabbed from behind and pulled off of Ross forcefully. A crowd of teammates, referees, and the coaches appeared.
Connor was breathing fire as he glared at Ross.
"You see that?" Ross accused. "Unsportsmanlike conduct!"
The assistant coach grabbed Connor's arm. "What'd he do?"
"He hit me in the nuts with his stick, Coach! I'm sick of it." Connor could not calm down nor gain air. Suddenly he realized it was Kyle who was holding him from behind. He relaxed his tense muscles and leaned against him for support.
"I did not!" Ross challenged. "I was just going for the ball, ya wuss!"
Kyle's hold around Connor's waist tightened at the insult.
Something inside Connor broke. Maybe it was Kyle's strength, his loyalty. Perhaps it was the group of men who knew Connor was hiding, lying about who he was. But Connor had enough. "I'm gay. All right? Is that what you need me to admit to everyone for you to get off my back?" He felt Kyle flinch.
Connor tried to cover his face over his mask. Moaning, he repeated, "I'm gay," and then added, "You guys want me off the team? I'll quit."
"If you go, I'm going."
Connor looked over his shoulder at Kyle. Kyle shrugged. "If they don't want gay guys on this team, that means I quit."
"Kyle." Connor felt his emotions overwhelm him.
"You!" Coach Banks pointed to Ross. "Get on the bench." Coach Banks nudged a referee. "Let's go. We have a game to play."
A whistle blew and Connor found Kyle's eyes shining at him in pride. Connor gave him a smile and picked up his stick.
The referee awarded Connor possession of the ball after the penalty. Connor cradled it and sprinted downfield, taking a shot at the goal. When he scored, Kyle lifted him off his feet, jumping up and down with him.
Connor looked around at his teammates. They ignored the goal and Kevin, Dick, and Joe looked downright hostile.
"We'll be okay now," Kyle said.
"I'm not so sure about that." Connor shivered at the effect of those glares.
"You don't have to do this."
"I want to."
"Why?"
"Because. It's the last source of pain and aggravation for you and I want to be there to support you." Kyle tossed his backpack into the trunk of the MG.
Connor started the engine. "They're insane."
"What parents aren't?" Kyle fastened the seatbelt. "Hey, we thought the guys on the team would be freaked out. But they completely laid off of you. And Ross is off the team."
"I don't know if they laid off or are petrified of being disciplined."
"Who cares? The pestering has stopped." Kyle yawned and rubbed his coarse jaw. It was early Saturday morning and they didn't get much sleep, having shared Connor's bed and screwed most of the previous night.
"I suppose. Just be prepared. My dad's as bad as Shrek."
Kyle laughed. "Did you mention you were bringing me?"
"Yes."
"And?"
Connor shifted gears, heading to Interstate 210 on their way to San Bernardino. "They didn't react. Mom just said, 'Oh, that's nice, dear'."
"So far so good. This is the last wall of resistance."
"You mean the wall behind a firing squad."
"Come on, Connor. It can't be that bad." Kyle rubbed Connor's knee.
Connor didn't answer, turning the volume up on the radio.
Kyle had no idea what to expect. He only hoped for the best.
After a long silence, Connor said, "Am I supposed to go, 'Hi Mom, this is Kyle, my gay lover?'"
"I don't know. You do what you're comfortable doing."
"What would you say to your parents?"
Kyle thought about it. "I guess the direct approach is best."
"You're just saying that because your parents live out of state." Connor lowered the radio. "Believe me. You can hide. Your parents never have to know."
Kyle took his mobile phone out of his pocket and turned it on.
"What are you doing?" Connor asked.
Kyle scanned his phone list and hit dial. He put the tiny mobile to his ear and waited.
"Kyle! I didn't mean for you---"
Kyle put his finger to his lips.
"Hello? Kyle?"
"Hi, Mom. Did I wake you?" Kyle stared at the scenery as they past, his hand back on Connor's knee.
"No. I'm up. Are you okay?"
"Yes. I'm great." He glanced over at Kyle who appeared more nervous than he did at the moment. "Uh. Mom?"
"Yes, Kyle."
"I know this is going to seem awkward because I'm doing it over the phone."
"Please don't tell me you're quitting college."
"No."
"You've gotten a girl pregnant."
"No." Kyle chuckled. "Will you let me talk?"
"Do I need to get your father on the phone?"
Kyle's hand went clammy. Crap. "Yeah. Go ahead."
"What's going on?" Connor asked.
"She's getting my father to pick up the phone."
"Kyle, have you thought this through?" Connor looked piqued.
"Shh." Kyle focused on the call.
"Kyle?"
"Hi, Dad."
"What's going on? Your mother said you're in trouble."
Kyle smiled. "No. I'm not in trouble. School is going good, and I'm adjusting to UCLA fine."
"What then? You need money?"
"Always...but that's not it either."
"Kyle," his mother said, "just tell us. You're making me upset. This isn't like you."
Kyle stared at Connor's profile as he drove. "Mom, Dad..." he inhaled deeply, "I'm gay."
Instantly Connor met his eyes in fear.
The other end of the phone went quiet. "Hello?" Kyle said.
"We're still here," his mother replied.
"My boyfriend's name is Connor Worthington. We're on the way to his parents' place for a visit." It was still quiet on the other end. "Will you say something? Dad?"
"What do you want me to say, Kyle? It's not what every father hopes to hear."
"I know. But I can't live this lie anymore." Kyle rubbed Connor's knee for his own comfort.
His mother cleared her throat. "How long have you known?"
"Since I was a little kid." It went silent again. "Come on. I know it's a surprise, but I didn't expect no reaction at all."
"What did you expect?" his dad asked.
"In an ideal world?" Kyle laughed. "That you'd say, 'I love you anyway. We don't care as long as you're happy.'"
"Can you give your mom and me a chance to digest it?"
"Sure, Dad. I understand. I know I just dropped it on you."
"What made you decide to finally tell us?"
Kyle smiled at Connor. "Two reasons. I have an incredible partner, and I came out at school. Believe me, it was a big deal to do that during lacrosse practice."
"I can imagine."
"No, Dad, you can't." Kyle laughed.
"We do love you, Kyle."
"Thanks, Mom."
"Let us think about it and we'll call you soon. Okay?" his father said.
"Yes. Okay. Oh...I'll take a picture of him with my phone and send it to your email box."
"Okay, Kyle," his mother replied.
"See ya." Kyle disconnected the call, aimed his phone at Connor and took his picture.
"I'm impressed." Connor exited the highway. "So? Not disowned? Not punished?"
"They said they have to think about it." Kyle hit a few buttons and sent the photo to his parents.
"Huh."
Kyle turned off his phone and tucked it into his backpack behind the seat. "You think your parents will have a fit?"
"Dad will."
"We'll deal with it." Kyle reached for Connor's hand and kissed his knuckles.
"We have to. I'm tired of this too. I have to admit, though I was scared to come out to the team, I feel like a load has been lifted."
"And Ross Cartmen is gone!" Kyle pumped his fist into the air.
"Thank fuck."
Kyle smoothed his hand between Connor's legs, riding his palm over his package. "Yeah. Thank fuck."
Connor widened his straddle and smiled.
~
They spent most of the drive chatting about school. Connor was nearing his parents' home and his nerves were kicking in. He wasn't so sure he could 'come out' and be honest. Maybe he would introduce Kyle as just his friend, teammate, and classmate.
"I cannot believe Professor Jacobs came on to you." Kyle shook his head. "I swear, Connor, I've never had any of my teachers or profs show any interest in me."
Connor slowed for the turn onto his parents' street. "I'm not kidding. She did. She shut the classroom door and made a pass at me. Freaked me out."
"Jesus."
"And when Professor Patrick asked me to join the physics club, I thought the same about him."
Kyle cracked up. "Well, he is pretty gay."
"Yeah, but what do they think? Man. I'm not that easy." Connor pulled into the curved drive.
"Says you." Kyle laughed and sat up in the seat. "This is where you live?"
"Yeah."
Kyle's mouth was open but he didn't reply.
"You ready?" Connor parked.
"As I can be." Kyle reached behind the seat for his backpack.
Just before Connor touched the front doorknob, Lawrence opened it from the inside, obviously hearing his car.
"So good to see you again, sir."
"Thanks, Lawrence. This is my friend, Kyle."
Kyle gaped at the butler. "Er. Hi."
"Can I help you with that?" Lawrence gestured to Kyle's backpack.
"No. I got it. Thanks." Kyle shot Connor a pained look.
Connor allowed Lawrence so take his things. "Could you put both our packs in my room, please?"
"Very good." Lawrence reached out for Kyle's backpack.
When he left, Kyle made another exaggerated attempt at showing he was impressed.
Connor winked at him sweetly.
"Connor!" Becky raced over to him excitedly.
With one hand held out in front of him, Connor backed her off. "Becky, this is my gay lover, Kyle."
Kyle choked and bit his lip.
"Kyle, this is Becky, our housekeeper." Connor studied Becky's reaction, predicting it.
"You're gay?"
"Yup. Come on, Kyle. I'm hungry." Connor held Kyle's elbow and dragged him down the hall. Becky had the same gaping expression on her face Kyle did. It made Connor laugh. "Well, that was easy. But she's not my dad."
Connor led the way to the kitchen and instinctively stood at the back window to check on the horses. He didn't see any in the ring or out in the grassy field.
"Would you like me to prepare a meal, sir?" Lawrence asked as he entered the kitchen.
"Yes. Please." Connor looked outside. "Lawrence, are the horses in the barn?"
Lawrence's expression darkened as he wrapped an apron around his dark suit.
Connor glanced back at Kyle first, then approached the butler. "Lawrence?"
"I'm afraid your father decided he no longer wanted the horses. He's sold them."
"What?" Connor's skin crawled and he felt sick. "Sold them? Even my Brandy?"
"I'm afraid so, sir."
As Lawrence began preparing them lunch, Connor stormed out of the room.
"Should I come?" Kyle asked.
"No. I'll be right back." Connor searched each room as he passed finally finding his mother in the conservatory with a glass of iced tea. "Why did Dad get rid of the horses?"
"Oh, Connor. You're here. Lawrence didn't announce you. Did you just arrive?"
"Yes. I just got here. Where is my horse?" He put his hands on his hips.
"I'm sorry, Connor. Your father said we didn't need them and they were too expensive to keep. I was going to tell you---"
"When?" He tried not to scream.
"Don't use that tone with me. It was his decision. I had to agree with him. You're never here and it isn't like when you were young and you spent all day with them."
Connor was so furious he couldn't think straight.
"Dear, please stop acting like a child. You're a month away from twenty-one, a senior in college, and you need to grow up."
"I'm a baby because I like my pet horse?"
"Well, yes, if you want my honest opinion." Carole sat up in her chair and adjusted her blouse. "Connor, you're away. You've been away since you were sixteen. It isn't fair to them either."
"Where did they go? Please tell me it wasn't a dog food factory." Connor was about to be sick.
"Oh, heavens no!" She waved her hand dismissively. "They were given to a very good family. Don't be ridiculous."
"I'm gay." Connor wanted to get even. Had to.
"What did you say?" She went pale.
"I'm gay. Kyle's my lover." He spun around, giving her his back.
"Connor?"
"Lawrence is making us lunch. I'll talk to you later." He kept moving, trying to control his anger at the loss.
Kyle was waiting in the kitchen for him. He stood up from the table the minute Connor entered the room.
"Are you okay?"
"I told my mother I'm gay." Connor raised the pitcher from the counter and filled two tumblers with lemonade.
"Okay. And?"
Connor gave Kyle one of the glasses and sipped his. "She told me Dad sold my horse. They didn't even ask me if I wanted to say goodbye."
"I'm sorry, Connor." Kyle paused, checked on the butler who was cutting up fruit, and asked, "So you told your mother as revenge?"
"In a way."
"Connor?"
Connor and Kyle spun to the doorway of the room. Carole was standing there.
"Is this your friend?" she asked.
"Lover. Gay lover. Not friend," Connor said coldly.
"Connor," Kyle scolded quietly.
"N-nice to meet you." Carole held out her hand.
"Nice to meet you too, Mrs. Worthington."
Connor watched his mother carefully. "Where's Dad?"
"Golfing."
"Good."
"Are you planning on spending the night?"
"No." Connor walked to the window with his juice, staring at the empty paddock and fields. "I came to ride. Since I can't ride, after lunch I'm leaving." Connor heard shuffling and looked over his shoulder. His mother had left the room and Kyle looked upset.
Kyle approached him to whisper, "Are you going to let her tell your dad?"
Connor shrugged.
"I think it would be better coming from you. You won't be there to defend yourself."
"I'm so angry right now I won't be civil. I'll react to my father's rage and it'll be a nightmare."
"Will they cut off your college funds?"
"Too late to worry about that now." Connor put his empty glass on the table.
"I'm sorry about your horse."
"At least someone is." Connor looked back at Lawrence who was trying not to eavesdrop.
~
After lunch, Kyle followed Connor to the second floor. Connor gestured for Kyle to enter a room and he realized it must be Connor's old bedroom. Both of their backpacks were on the floor by the bed.
"Nice." Kyle admired the Architectural Digest décor, with the cream walls and layered window dressing. The bed was whitewashed pine with a palette of neutral tone throw pillows and silky bedspread.
The whole house appeared to be like looking through an interior design brochure, right down to the upholstered Cowtan and Tout chairs and tasteful acrylic paintings.
A far cry from his family's three-bedroom ranch home in Salem, Oregon.
Kyle was drawn to the window. The blinds were raised letting in the winter sunshine with a view of the barn and a fenced enclosure where the horses had been.
When he turned to see Connor, Kyle found him seated on the bed, slouched, looking worn out. "You've been through a lot."
Connor shrugged.
Kyle sat beside him and leaned on his shoulder. "You know you can talk to me."
"I've never been any good at that." Connor gave Kyle a wry smile.
"Feelings-shit, brrr," Kyle teased.
It made Connor laugh.
"Come here." Kyle drew Connor into an embrace and held him, pressing his lips into Connor's neck. He inhaled his skin. "You always smell good."
Connor fell back with him with a bounce. Kyle made for his lips and rested his knee on top of Connor's thighs. He loved kissing this man. Connor's tongue was creative, exploring, making tiny circles, tender and soft.
Kyle ran his hand down Connor's chest to his abdomen, into his waistband. The sucking grew stronger as their passion heightened. Kyle struck gold inside Connor's pants, feeling his hard cock bent down his thigh. As Kyle worked on getting it upright so he could stroke it, Connor moaned and opened his mouth wider, always the submissive. Kyle was going crazy for him.
"Close the door. Close the door." Connor panted.
Kyle withdrew his hand, leapt off the bed and closed, locking, the bedroom door. He dove on top of Connor again, opening his zipper and yanking his jeans down his hips.
He went for Connor's mouth again. They whimpered and squirmed on the bed. Kyle released Connor's dick and got a good palm full of his balls and the thick, hard base of his long cock. Massaging Connor's soft, heavy sack was making Kyle hump the bed.
Connor dug his hands into the hair on both sides of Kyle's head, deepening the kissing to the most luxurious degree of passion, it was making Kyle high.
Kyle ran his palm up the length of Connor's cock to the head and felt pre-cum seeping from the tip. The surge of excitement to Kyle's crotch made him buck his hips, maddening him to a new height. Quickly Kyle reached inside his own pants and straightened out his cock. He was already as damp and sticky as Connor. Fucking Connor's mouth with his tongue, feeling Connor sucking it and his hips matching the motion of Kyle's hand, Kyle had to open his pants or come inside them.
He fumbled with his button and zipper, bumping into Connor's fingers as they tried to get to Kyle's cock.
Once they were both exposed, Kyle got back to the business of kissing and jacking off Connor as Connor did the same to him.
The pleasure shot through Kyle like electricity. He grunted into Connor's mouth and ejaculated. Connor's thrusting went into overdrive and he came, shooting cum into Kyle's hand and on his shirt.
Kyle used the silky cum to continue massaging Connor's cock, slower, softer, getting off on the feel of it.
"Oh, Kyle...phew...that was awesome."
Kyle stopped moving his hand and looked downwards. Yup, they were coated in spunk. "No kidding." Kyle caught his breath and felt drenched in sweat.
Connor jolted under him.
"What?"
"I think my father is home. He's the only one who slams doors. If he knows I'm here, he's already pissed off." Connor disengaged himself from Kyle and noticed the spatter. "Shit. Good thing we brought fresh clothing."
Kyle sat up and yanked his shirt over his head.
"Connor?"
When his name was thundered from the lower floor, Connor went pale.
"You think your mom's told him?" Kyle yanked his backpack closer and unzipped it. He was shaking he was so intimidated by Connor's father.
"Yup." Connor stripped off his shirt and grabbed the clean one out of his pack.
"Connor!"
"Crap." Connor tucked in his shirt and inspected his fingers for cum. He wiped them on the dirty shirt and ran his hand back through his hair.
"I'm here. We'll get through this." Kyle touched Connor's arm but he was terrified.
"Connor Andrew Worthington! Get your ass down here now!"
Kyle could see Connor was trembling as well. Connor stuffed his shirt into his backpack and zipped it. He slung it over his shoulder and said, "We are on our way out."
"Okay." Kyle wiped at his sweaty face and straightened his back. Teammates. Battle-ready.
As they descended the staircase, Kyle could see Connor's body reacting in fear. With each step, Connor's legs shook.
By the time they reached the bottom landing, both Mr. and Mrs. Worthington were waiting. Mr. Worthington, in a golf outfit; a green Ralph Lauren polo shirt and seersucker shorts, had his arms crossed and was obviously not happy.
Kyle met the imposing man's glare and felt very sorry for Connor.
"Did Mom tell you?" Connor asked.
"Tell me she's lying."
"Dad..." Connor shook his head.
"He can't help who he is, Mr. Worthington." Kyle felt like he was about to throw himself in front of a moving train for his lover.
"I knew it." Arthur addressed his wife, "How many times did I say it, Carole?"
"You knew, dear."
"Dad, this is Kyle Baker. He's on my lacrosse team and we live together."
Kyle imagined extending his hand in greeting, but reconsidered. The look of disdain was obvious.
"That's it? No women? You've decided your entire future?"
"Yes, Dad. I'm sorry. I've known I was gay since I was little. I just thought you'd kill me."
"He won't kill you, Connor," Carole said.
"Disown me? Stop paying my college tuition? What?" Connor gestured with his palms upwards.
Kyle knew both he and Connor expected a violent tirade. But instead, Kyle felt sorry for Mr. Worthington. He appeared so utterly let down.
The man said nothing.
When he walked away, Kyle could tell Connor was shocked.
"Mom?"
"Let him be, dear. He's very disappointed."
"What's he going to do?"
"Do?"
Kyle caught Connor's glance of worry.
"Yeah. Do." Connor's gulp was audible from where Kyle stood.
"There's nothing he can do, Connor," she said. "You've made up your mind."
"Mom." Connor shifted his weight uneasily.
"It was nice to have met you, Kyle." She held out her hand.
Kyle shook it but had no idea what to say. Violence they had anticipated. Arguing they had expected. Silent guilt? Way off the radar.
"Mom, do you want us to stay for dinner? To talk?"
"No, dear. You go back to your place. I think your father needs some time on his own."
When she walked away, Kyle could tell Connor was stunned. He put his arm around Connor's shoulder and walked with him to the front door. Lawrence opened it for them.
On the drive back to their apartment, they didn't talk.
~
The moment they were inside their tiny home, Connor said, "What the fuck? He didn't even tell me I was disgusting."
"Maybe all these years he just wanted you to be honest." Kyle dropped his bag by the door.
"No." Connor's head ached. He ran both his hand into his hair to massage his scalp. "He's not done. He'll do something to me."
"You don't know that."
"Is there any booze in his place?" Connor looked around the room.
"I don't think so. I can go out and get us beer over at that shop that doesn't ask for ID."
"No. Never mind. I should have thought of it on the drive home."
"Come here."
Connor raised his head to see Kyle's concerned expression and wide open arms. "Do I look as bad as I feel?"
"Nope. You look delicious."
Connor fell against Kyle, rocking with him in the center of the room.
"We need a nap."
"We need to study." Connor yawned.
"Nap first, study second."
"No." Connor held Kyle's hand. "Sex first, nap second, study third." He heard Kyle's provocative chuckle and smiled. Connor took the items they needed out of the nightstand. When he glanced back, Kyle was undressing, staring at him as he did.
"You want to do me?" Kyle kicked off his briefs and tilted his head seductively.
Connor's erection throbbed at the thought, but he said, "I like you in me."
Kyle crawled on the bed, propping his head up in his palm as he waited.
After he had kicked off his last item of clothing, Connor tossed one rubber on the bed beside Kyle. He spun around, squeezed a dollop of gel on his fingers, then bent over and massaged the lube on his own ass.
"Mother-fucker," Kyle hissed.
"Does it tempt you?" Connor asked coyly. The sound of the condom wrapper opening reached his ears.
Before Connor could react, Kyle had grabbed him from behind. Connor felt Kyle forcing him down onto his lap. The head of Kyle's cock touched his rim. Connor opened his lips for a gasp and closed his eyes.
Kyle continued to guide Conner until he was penetrated up to the hilt. Connor leaned forward, spread his legs and braced his hands on his thighs.
"You okay?"
"God, yeah." Connor's skin covered with goose bumps. He sat still, enjoying the sensation of Kyle's body inside him, then began rocking.
"Nice." Kyle smoothed his hands all over Connor's back and arms.
"Hang on." Connor wanted Kyle's lips. He disconnected, spun around, and straddled Kyle's thighs. Once they were joined again, Connor said, "Better." He gazed at Kyle's expression and cupped the back of his head for that kiss.
Kyle moaned against Connor's mouth and it caused Connor's cock to twitch with longing. As if he knew what Connor wanted, Kyle ran his hand along Connor's length, using his thumb to massage the slit.
Connor broke the kiss for a deep breath, arched his back and began riding Kyle's cock.
"Jesus, Connor..." Kyle increased his fisting in time with Connor's body thrusts, licking Connor's erect nipples.
Connor's head began to spin. Before he closed his eyes and rushed head first into an orgasm, he stared at the motion of Kyle's hand on his engorged dick and the ripples of Kyle's abs and chest. "Kyle, Kyle..." At the sound of Kyle grunting and the deep penetration, Connor knew Kyle was climaxing. That wonderful pulsating began and Connor let go, his body bursting with pleasure.
His cum splashed his skin as Kyle jerked his cock in a blur of motion. Connor voiced his euphoria in sexual groans that he heard echo in his temples.
The throbbing of Kyle's length subsided inside him. As Connor caught his breath, the perspiration ran down his neck and armpits. He settled on Kyle's lap and they embraced.
"I love you, Connor."
Connor's heart melted instantly. He nudged Kyle to look at him and said, "I love you too, babe." Connor raised his hips to disconnect them, then relaxed again for some kissing.
Kyle hummed in contentment as they cuddled, their kissing soft and full of affection.
Connor was lost. Lost in love, and the hope that he had found his partner and soul mate. Kyle Baker was everything he wanted in a partner, and more.
Kyle woke up. As he shook off the haziness of his dreams he found himself in Connor's bed, in Connor's embrace. A dewy sweat sealed their overlapping bodies.
He couldn't remember being this happy. Gazing down at Connor's long, dark eyelashes as he slept, Kyle lazily ran his fingers through Connor's brown locks. "I have you. I wanted you, prayed you wanted me, and now..." Kyle smiled. "Here we are."
Connor stirred. Kyle waited for the sight of Connor's blue eyes.
Connor blinked and began to wake up. "Hey."
"Hey." Kyle felt Connor's morning wood pressed against his hip.
"I slept great."
"Me too." Kyle reached down and played with Connor.
"Yum." Connor wriggled in delight.
"Wanna come?"
"Yes!" Connor smiled wickedly.
Kyle gave his cock a last good squeeze, then began inching lower.
"Blow job? Oh yeah!" Connor pumped his fist into the air.
Once he'd pulled the sheet down, Kyle settled between Connor's legs. He admired Connor's perfect dick before he directed it at his mouth and sucked the tip.
Connor gave out a long, whimpering, "ohhhh" sound as he was serviced. It only made Kyle more enthusiastic. He rose up on his elbows and drew Connor deeper, as much as he could take before having to pull back. He couldn't quite get all of Connor's dick inside his mouth, so he used his hands to work the base.
"God, Kyle! Where have you been all my life?"
Kyle tried to answer with his mouth full.
"Yes. Oregon." Connor laughed until he resumed moaning.
A taste of pre-cum touched his tongue. Kyle quickened his pace.
"I'm close." Connor jerked his hips in reflex.
To get a better angle, Kyle got to his knees, fondled Connor's nuts and drew powerful suction from the base to the tip of his hard-on.
"Ah...I'm there." Connor arched his back and his muscles tensed.
Kyle closed his eyes and felt the creamy cum fill his mouth. He moaned in pleasure and swallowed, waiting for more.
As Connor recuperated, Kyle lapped at him gently, dipping his tongue into his slit to get the oozing drops. "Damn, you taste good."
Connor laughed tiredly. "Vegetarian cum."
"Maybe." Kyle peeked up at him. "We have a game today."
"I know. I can't move."
Kyle knelt upright and stared at Connor's naked body. He jerked at his own cock as he did.
"Gimme that." Connor beckoned Kyle closer.
Kyle crawled up Connor's torso and straddled his chest. He aimed his dick at Connor's mouth and it was received.
"Oh, yes." Kyle's body reacted to the sensation of a wet, tight hole, growing rock hard. Connor gripped an ass cheek in each hand and used it to thrust Kyle in and out.
Kyle fucked Connor's mouth, amazed how deep Connor could take him, and how rough he was willing to be. The swoon began in Kyle's balls and worked outward in circular waves. "I'm coming."
Connor grunted in excitement and began piston fucking Kyle with his mouth. Kyle couldn't believe the sensation. He clenched his teeth and came, feeling Connor's finger pressing into his rim from behind.
Connor continued to suck and groan after Kyle had come. Kyle was dripping with sweat and gasping for breath. "Holy shit, Connor."
"Mm!" Connor released Kyle's dick to the tip, sucked hard, then pulled back with a pop sound. As he relaxed, he rubbed his face into Kyle's pubic hair inhaling deeply. "You're an aphrodisiac."
"I can't believe we have to function. I need more sleep now." Kyle felt spent.
"What time is it?" Connor rested his face against Kyle's softened cock.
Kyle tried to read the digital clock on Connor's nightstand. "Just after seven."
"We have to shower and go."
"We're playing UC in Santa Barbara."
"I know." Connor touched Kyle's hip in a gesture to move.
Kyle leaned down to peck his lips, climbing off and stretching his back. "I swear I could go right back to bed."
"Come on, babe. A shower will do us both good." Connor led the way.
~
Standing in front of his locker, Kyle loaded his bag with his pads, white jersey, gold shorts, gold helmet, and cleats. He peeked at Connor as he did the same. Connor appeared preoccupied. But Ross was gone. Problem solved?
The room was noisy as they prepared for the bus ride to Santa Barbara. This was the second game of the season. They had spent most of their time practicing, playing scrimmages in the intramural fields, and weight-lifting at the John Wooden Center. They had a long four months of practice and games ahead to get to the championship finals.
It didn't help that he and Connor were both carrying heavy academic credit loads this semester.
Kyle heard a locker slam shut. He looked over his shoulder at Donald who was busy getting ready for their away game. He noticed Donald staring at Connor. Kyle looked at the direction of Donald's gaze. Connor's ass.
Kyle cleared his throat.
Donald jumped out of his skin, grabbed his gear, and vanished.
Connor asked, "What's going on?"
"Nothing." Kyle didn't think Connor needed the extra aggravation.
Someone yelled into the locker room it was time to go. Kyle thought it sounded like he graduate assistant, Denny Perkins.
Kyle zipped his bag and shouldered it, carrying his crosse. "You ready?"
"Yup." Connor shut his locker and hoisted up his gym bag.
They got caught up in the rush as the team filed outside to the parking lot and the waiting bus.
Daydreaming, his head down, Kyle caught Connor reacting to something. When Kyle jerked his head up to catch the action, he found Connor glaring at Kevin as he hurried past them.
"Did he just push you?" Kyle asked.
"Yes."
"Jesus. Ya get rid of one moron..."
Connor whispered, "Well, he's the one who made the remark about Donald being gay and staring at my ass."
Kyle frowned. Yeah, he was again a minute ago.
"I can't complain to Banks. He'll begin to think I'm a pussy who can't fight my own battles. As long as I don't get an illegal check to the nuts again, I can handle it."
"This sucks." Kyle had no idea why being gay was such a threat to anyone. Why did what he and Connor do in the bedroom make any difference to other people? They played the game of lacrosse, didn't bother anyone, minded their own business...
A line formed at the bus' entrance. Denny was checking off a list as they boarded.
Connor entered the bus, Kyle right behind him as the driver stowed their gear under the bus' carriage. Connor hesitated. Kyle looked over Connor's shoulder to see why.
A busload of lacrosse players was giving the two of them the "evil-eye".
"Mother-fucker," Connor breathed.
"Move. Go find a seat." Kyle glared at the worst offending team members as they passed, waiting for a disparaging comment. What the fuck? I thought we were beyond this? What did I miss?
Kyle struggled to recall the day when they admitted they were gay. Didn't the guys get it? It was done. They came out. Wasn't that what they wanted? To out them? What now?
Right before they sat down, Kyle noticed the glowers change to passive faces. The sound of Coach Bank's voice came next.
Oh, I get it. Kyle realized their tolerance was an act for the head coach. Nice.
Connor sat by the window as Kyle dropped down heavily next to him.
"All right, you guys." Coach Banks stood at the front by the driver, who was now behind the wheel. "Second game of the season, but don't underestimate how important it is to win. We have to beat UC. Got it?"
A cheer rose up from the men.
With a hiss, the bus doors closed and the engine grew louder as they left the parking lot. Kyle glanced down as his hand was clasped. He looked across the aisle at another teammate and caught Dick Lang's sneer.
Defiantly, Kyle held Connor's hand in both of his as they stared out of the window at the storefronts on Sunset Boulevard.
~
Connor knew Kyle was acting like a bodyguard. They brushed shoulders while they walked to the visiting team's locker room.
The acoustics were terrible as the noise of shouting, roughhousing, and echoing footfalls masked the conversations around him. Connor felt that ice ball in his gut again. It was as if something was going on he wasn't aware of. He felt ignorant to a secret that was known to everyone but he and Kyle. What was it? Gossip? Probably.
Dick Lang raced by, slamming into Kyle as he did. Connor exchanged looks with Kyle. Connor had no idea if it was intentional or not. Dick didn't peer back and gloat, so Connor assumed it was accidental.
Kyle dropped his bag in front of a locker and opened it, toeing off his tennis shoes and flipping them into the bottom.
The noise hadn't let up. Over the din Connor thought he heard yelling to hurry up and get dressed.
"Jesus," Kyle said.
Connor looked at Kyle to see why he had said that word.
Kyle rolled his eyes and gestured to Donald who had chosen a locker across from them, identical to the way his was situated at their own locker room. "He does like to stare at your ass, Connor."
Before Connor yanked down his shorts he studied Donald's actions. Donald turned away quickly.
"At least he isn't taking pot shots at me on the field." Connor removed his lower half of garments and tossed it into the locker. "I'd rather have my ass admired than whacked with a lacrosse stick."
"Good point."
Connor drew his jockstrap up his legs and felt Donald's gaze. He spun around quickly and caught him ogling. "Hey, Don! Enjoying the view?"
Kyle appeared nervous and bit his lip.
Donald ignored the comment and gave Connor his back as he finished dressing.
"Don't antagonize anyone. It's bad enough." Kyle tugged his t-shirt over his head and removed his shoulder pads from his bag.
"What's bad enough?" Connor adjusted his cup and put his uniform shorts on over it.
"You didn't notice anything on the bus?" Kyle faced his locker as he continued getting ready.
"I felt something, but I didn't see anything. What did you see?"
"Sneers. I think they're behaving normally because of Coach Banks. The minute he's in the area they straighten out their expressions."
"You think Coach is punishing them? Ya know, doing something to the guys who are homophobes?"
"I don't know." Kyle glanced back at Donald.
Connor sat on the bench to put on his socks and shoes. "Well, it's not just me then."
"Nope. Something's going on."
~
After a brief warm up, the team gathered on the field. Connor tried to pump them up for the beginning of the game. But his enthusiasm fell flat. Coach Banks was busy on the sideline with the opposing team's coach and referees, discussing procedure and exchanging rosters.
Connor made a frustrated face at Kyle and Kyle shrugged in reply.
Kevin began barking like a drill sergeant, creating the energy the group needed to get their testosterone surging. Suddenly the noise of cheers and grunting was intense.
Okay. Whatever works. Connor was trying not to take the reactions personally. The key was to win.
"Now let's go get those nasty queers!"
Connor choked and met Kyle's gaping expression.
"What the fuck did you just say?" Connor asked the same junior who had body-slammed Kyle in the hall. Dick Lang.
A chant overtook Connor's protest. It appeared the rallying cry was supposed to be for their benefit and to battle the opponent. Either way, Connor didn't care for the tactic.
Connor caught Kyle looking back at the sideline.
Coach Banks was on his way over. Denny intercepted him before he ever made it to their huddle.
The group broke ranks and jogged either to their field position or the bench.
Connor met Kyle and walked slowly to their side of the field. "Did I just hear what I think I heard?"
"Where the fuck did that come from?" Kyle shook his head.
"They weren't talking about us, right? They meant UC?"
"I think it was meant for us to get psyched, but no doubt it had a double-meaning."
"What the fuck! What the fuck!" Connor was about to kill someone. He almost smashed his crosse into the ground to snap it when Kyle grabbed his shoulder. "Look."
Connor followed the direction he was indicating. The junior that had uttered the nasty cheer was in front of Coach Banks on the ground, doing pushups.
"Let me guess. Denny overheard Dick's sick rally and told Coach Banks." Connor stopped in his tracks. "He's punishing them."
"Yup."
"That's what's going on behind our backs, Kyle. Coach is trying to keep them in line."
"And we're to blame."
"Are we? Because we're gay?"
"Because we came out. We're an embarrassment to the team. We castrated them." Kyle scanned the field. "I think macho-jocks aren't afraid of fairies."
Connor looked at his team. The scowls aimed at them at the meted out punishment were intimidating.
"I can't do this, Kyle. I'm going to quit."
"No." Kyle faced him.
"Yes. It's too much anyway with the credit load. I can't get all my work done."
"Don't make a quick decision. Think about it."
"It's all I have done." Connor heard a whistle blowing and hurried to his place on the field.
Kyle didn't like losing. But it was hard for him and Connor to play with any real zeal when they knew what their teammates felt about them.
There were no illegal checks, no crosse between the legs, nothing. They were left alone, ignored, not given the ball to pass or shoot at the goal, and denied the pleasure of participating.
Though Kyle watched Connor start the game with the idea of going for it and winning, as the game progressed and the passing game excluded them, he noticed Connor moving on the field less and less. He couldn't blame him. He did the same.
Did the coaches notice? They had to. Could they force the team to behave in a certain way? No. Coach Banks could stamp, yell, point fingers, add extra laps or pushups to their routines, but he could not stop ignorance.
As Kyle undressed he felt more spent mentally than physically. It was psychological warfare.
"Thank fuck."
"What?" Kyle asked Connor who was nearly naked standing next to him.
"Separate shower stalls."
"Good." Kyle agreed.
Connor walked off with his towel.
Kyle sat slumped over, resting his chin in his hands. He's right. I can't do this anymore either.
When Kyle prepared to stand up and head to the shower, he realized he was surrounded by hostile teammates.
"The freak with the long hair we expected to be a fag."
"Shut up, Kevin." Kyle stood tall, his back to the locker.
"But you're worse!" Dick curled his lip in disgust. "You pretend to be like us."
"Nasty cock-sucker," Joe snarled.
Kyle was stunned. He knew there were some guys who would shun him, but this? "What the hell does it matter to any of you what I do in my private life? It's my choice."
Frank Valley pushed him.
Kyle hit the locker behind him and raised his hands in defense.
"We lost because of you queers! The other team isn't going to be intimidated by a bunch of limp-wristed fags!"
"Shut up!" Kyle said, "That's bullshit, Kevin, and you know it."
"We want you and that long-haired queer-bait off the team!"
"Or?" Kyle puffed up his chest.
The group drew closer. There was no way Kyle could defend himself against six athletes.
"What?" he asked, "You'll beat me up?"
Kevin poked his finger into Kyle's chest. "We want you both off the team."
Kyle swatted Kevin's hand aside. "You can't tell us what to do."
Dick went for Kyle's throat. Kyle hit the metal lockers with a loud thud and began fighting back.
"Coach Banks!" someone hissed.
Kyle was released and the crowd dispersed. He labored to catch his breath and caught the warning glares as they vanished.
The coach walked by, apparently not noticing anything amiss.
Connor appeared. His hair was wet and he had a towel around his hips. "Hey. What are you waiting for? Go shower."
Kyle grabbed his towel.
Connor held him back. "Are you okay?"
"I'll tell you later." Kyle kept moving, wary of everyone around him. He had a room full of enemies. Something he never anticipated when he joined the team.
I came out. That's why it's different here than in Oregon. Kyle trembled as he entered the shower stall. Maybe Connor was right and they needed to quit.
~
The tension on the bus ride home was making Connor feel ill again. They were given a lecture on their lousy performance, a warning on rigorous training regimes and workouts in the gym, and finally a pep talk.
It didn't matter. Connor was done. "Ya can't fight city hall."
"Huh?" Kyle leaned closer to hear.
"Nothing." Connor found Kyle's hand and held it on his lap until they had ended their journey.
They stood in the aisle when the bus parked in the school lot. The group moved slowly as exhaustion set in and the afternoon waned. Coach Banks was watching them debark, so everyone behaved.
Connor waited as their gear was unloaded, grabbing his bag when it hit the blacktop. The moment Kyle fell in beside him, Connor walked to the locker room to dump his equipment.
"You're right. We need to quit."
Connor turned to look at Kyle. Kyle was making sure they weren't overheard. "What happened earlier in the UC locker room?"
"They cornered me. I'll tell you on the drive home."
"Cornered you?" Connor didn't like the sound of that. Avoiding eye contact from anyone but Kyle, Connor dropped his dirty uniform in the laundry and tucked his pads, gloves, shoes, and helmet into his locker. He held the MG keys in his palm and left the building with Kyle. The minute he unlocked his door and was behind the wheel, he asked, "Cornered you how?"
Kyle released a deep exhale and replied, "That group of skinhead-types; Kevin, Dick, Frank...they told me to quit the team. They were very serious, Connor."
At first Connor grew angry, then it vanished. "Let's quit." He started the car and pulled out of the lot.
"I hate giving up or being intimidated by homophobic bullies."
"I don't like it either, but they outnumber us and I can't stand hiding behind Coach Banks."
Kyle punched the car door and slouched in the seat.
"Look, it's just lacrosse. It's no big deal." Connor rubbed Kyle's thigh.
"I've played it since I was a soph in high school."
"Yeah. Me too. Big shit. You didn't have any aspirations to play beyond college, did you?"
"No."
Connor stopped at a traffic light. "Me neither. So? Do you give a shit? The team sucks. We wouldn't make it to the championships at this rate. That means no trophy, nothing. Are you willing to keep putting up with this crap for a load of horseshit?"
Kyle rubbed his face. He looked exhausted.
"Kyle?"
"No."
"Then we're done." Connor squeezed his leg.
Kyle gripped his own hand over the top of Connor's and stared out of the windshield.
~
As Connor climbed the staircase behind Kyle he turned his cell phone on to see if he missed any calls. Several text messages were waiting to be read, but he listened to his mother's voice message first.
"Hello, Connor. Your father and I were wondering if you were okay. Are you coming for dinner next time? You seem to be staying for shorter and shorter visits. We hope to see you soon, Connor. Bye."
Connor walked into the apartment, following Kyle. He shut the door behind him. He disconnected the voicemail and began going through his text messages. "Here we go."
"What?" Kyle stood in the kitchen drinking orange juice from a quart container.
Connor read, "Fuck you, fag, quit the team or else."
Kyle's expression dropped. "Who's it from?"
"No idea. It was sent from a campus computer. It's just got an ID number and some weird fake name. Want me to read them? There's more."
"No." Kyle put the juice back into the refrigerator and dropped onto the tattered sofa, picking up a textbook from the floor.
Connor deleted the text messages, shut off his phone, and sat next to Kyle. "We're like lepers."
"They need to evolve. It's fricken' LA." Kyle flipped pages of the book angrily.
"No one is evolved as far as collegiate sports are concerned. I suppose we haven't crossed that barrier yet."
"Why not?" Kyle appeared furious.
Connor hated seeing him so upset. "Forget it. Let's change the topic. I'm sick of it."
Kyle slumped lower on the couch and stared at the printed pages on his lap.
By his expression, Connor knew Kyle wasn't actually reading. He didn't know how Kyle could concentrate at all being so preoccupied. Connor slid off the sofa and knelt between Kyle's knees. Kyle peeked at him.
Connor nudged Kyle's legs wider apart. He ran his hands down the inseams of Kyle's jeans to his crotch and massaged his imposing bulge. Kyle's head dropped to the back of the couch and he closed his eyes.
The book slid off Kyle's lap as Connor grew bolder. It slapped shut beside Kyle.
"Do you want to study?"
"No." Kyle's arms went limp, his palms face up on the couch.
Connor opened Kyle's jeans, sliding down the zipper. He worked Kyle's semi-erection out of his pants and smoothed his fingers along it. Kyle began shifting on the cushion, trying to remove his clothing.
Sitting back on his heels, Connor waited as Kyle removed his shoes, jeans, and briefs and splayed out in a wide straddle in only his University of Oregon t-shirt and white socks.
"Nice." Connor ran his hands up Kyle's thighs, over the hair on his legs, focusing between them. He loved Kyle's balls. They were delightfully wrinkled at the moment and darker than the rest of his skin. Connor scooted up to lick them.
Kyle whimpered and tried to do a split.
With a hand on each of Kyle's ankles, Connor raised his feet up onto the couch, widening Kyle's straddle.
When his puckered rim came into view, Connor paused to admire it. Kyle was breathing hard, watching every move he made.
After he licked his lips, Connor went for a taste.
"Fuck. Fuck..." Kyle's legs shook.
Connor loved both Kyle's reaction and the act. He'd never done it nor had it done to him, but wanted to. Badly. As Kyle sank lower to elevate his hips, Connor cradled Kyle's hot sack and began lapping under it. Kyle dug his fingers into Connor's hair, as if urging him on.
Connor nuzzled his face into Kyle's balls as he licked, teasing the tight hole, daring to dip his tongue in, deeper and deeper.
"Holy shit, Connor..." Kyle gripped Connor's head harder.
Oh, yes. Connor loved it. Kyle's reaction was a bonus. Connor ran one hand up Kyle's stiff cock, feeling the sticky drop emerging from his tip. Fuck everyone. Why the hell should what I do with my lover be anyone's problem? What the hell does this have to do with lacrosse?
Making Kyle wet with his saliva, Connor nibbled his way to Kyle's balls, enveloping one at a time while he used his fingertip to continue to tease Kyle's ass. Kyle was going crazy, bucking his hips, moaning, and massaging Connor's scalp through his hair.
Connor tickled long, wet laps on the underside of Kyle's cock, pausing right below his head to swirl, then dipping Kyle's dick inside his mouth. A blast of pre-cum hit his tongue. Connor groaned louder than Kyle and squirmed all over Kyle's lap.
Though he was dying to fist his own dick, Connor raised Kyle's shirt high on his chest and dove at his nipple, using his teeth to tease it hard while rubbing his thumb over the head of Kyle's cock.
Connor felt the force of Kyle's grip grow stronger as Kyle drew him to his lips. The minute their mouths connected it was like someone had set Connor on fire. He began fumbling with his own zipper, trying to get skin on skin.
Managing to strip his lower half while sucking Kyle's tongue, Connor tackled Kyle so he was lying length-wise on the sofa, pinning him down. He directed Kyle's stiff cock between his legs, allowing it to stroke his balls.
Kyle broke the kiss for a deep breath and cupped Connor's cheeks, staring at Connor with so much longing it took Connor's breath away.
"Fuck me," Connor whispered.
Kyle shivered and his body nearly convulsed at the suggestion. "Get the lube."
Connor pecked Kyle's lips, jogged to his bedroom and returned with the items they needed. Kyle was lying prone, playing with his dick.
Connor yanked his shirt over his head, knelt facing away from Kyle, and spread his legs as far as he could. When he glanced over his shoulder, Kyle's hands were shaking as he opened the condom wrapper. It made Connor smile. He is so adorable!
The minute Kyle's slick fingers began preparing Connor's ass, Connor felt his skin cover in goose bumps. "I want a good one, Kyle."
"No problem."
The tube dropped to the carpet and Connor watched Kyle kneel behind him. The sensation of that thick head entering him always made Connor gasp and shiver.
"You okay?"
"Yes." Connor loved how considerate his boyfriend was. He wriggled backwards to help him get complete penetration. Kyle's grunt was worth a million bucks.
"I'm in, babe."
"Mm!" Connor bit his lip and wanted more. "Come on, hot stuff. Do your thing."
Kyle held Connor by his hips and began pumping.
The chills changed to orgasmic pleasure in Connor. That internal prostate rub was beyond belief. He joined in, timing his thrusts with Kyle's, and rushed up the ladder to a climax.
The force of Kyle's body intensified. Connor knew Kyle was nearly there. Connor rested his head on his arms and closed his eyes, focusing on the contact. It was making him wild.
A deep, throaty grunt from Kyle and a shudder of his dick followed. "I'm coming." Kyle jammed his hips deep and hard.
Connor couldn't stop the sensation if he wanted to. His cock began throbbing and he couldn't even gasp it was so intense. As Kyle dug in for the last few plunges, Connor tried to kneel upright. He grabbed his own dick and fisted it. His sperm shot out in creamy ribbons across the worn carpet.
Kyle's cock slipped out but Connor continued to climax for another few seconds. Milking his cock for the aftershocks, Connor dripped with perspiration.
Kyle dove on him and they landed on the floor, gasping for breath and slithering against each other's sweaty body.
"I love you!" Kyle said enthusiastically. "Connor!"
Connor coiled around Kyle and they rocked side to side as they recuperated. "My baby, my love," Connor crooned. He was madly in love with Kyle Baker, and he didn't give a shit who knew.
~
Though he was exhausted, Kyle couldn't sleep. Connor was lying on his chest, their naked skin sealed tightly together in the double bed. The streetlight cast rectangle patterns on the bare wall. Noise of a car horn and shouting came from outside. Students partying. It was Saturday night. Time for booze and debauchery.
Connor's passive breathing, his deep slumber, was a comfort. Kyle had stroked Connor's hair, toying with his long, silky locks, which obviously lulled Connor to dreamland.
Kyle began going through the scenario of telling Coach Banks they were quitting. Coach will be pissed. A frown formed on Kyle's lips. He had to tell his dad too. Dad knows I'm gay. He'll get it. He won't be happy, but he'll understand.
Connor moaned in his sleep. Kyle wondered what he was dreaming.
I never wanted to come out of the closet in college. I planned to get through it well hidden. There wasn't a rush. Why did I do this? "For Connor."
"Hmm?"
"Nothing. Go back to sleep."
Connor shifted on top of Kyle and settled again.
Kyle resumed petting Connor's hair, helping him slip under the spell again. Doubt was forming in Kyle. He knew how difficult it was to maintain a straight relationship; how were he and Connor going to make this work? And what will happen after graduation? Do we stay together? I hope so. I'm crazy about this guy. But did I find my life partner at twenty? Now? Connor Andrew Worthington? Is he going to stay with me? Always?
Or have I ruined my athletic social life on a risk. A handsome stud who swept me off my feet? What am I doing?
"Kyle?"
"Yes?"
"What's wrong?"
Kyle didn't answer. He had thought Connor was sound asleep.
Connor sat up. Kyle could see his eyes glimmer in the dimness. "Stop thinking about it. You don't have to quit. You can stay on the team if you want."
"Come here." Kyle tugged Connor back down to his chest and sniffed his hair.
"Kyle, talk to me."
He hugged Connor tightly, snaking his legs around Connor's. "How much do you love me?"
"A lot."
"Like how much?" Kyle felt Connor try to sit up again but prevented it.
"How do I measure it?"
"I don't know."
"Did I do something to make you feel insecure?"
"No."
"What can I say? Tell me."
Kyle hid his face in Connor's hair, closing his eyes as he fought his doubt. "We're twenty."
"And?"
"Are we too young?"
"Too young to what?"
Kyle began to think he sounded like an idiot. "Nothing. Go to sleep."
"Too young to fall in love? Too young to be in a relationship?"
"Yes." Kyle wondered if Connor would bolt for the door if he appeared needy.
"Are you breaking up with me?"
Seeing Connor completely misunderstood him, Kyle crushed him to his chest.
"Don't break up with me, Kyle. I need you. I swear I'll go nuts. Please."
"Shh. That's not what I meant."
"I'm sorry about the lacrosse thing. Let me quit. I'll tell them you were just defending me because you're my friend. That you're not gay. Okay?"
"Connor. Wait." Kyle couldn't believe Connor would do that for him. "I'm not going anywhere and I don't give a shit about the team." Kyle felt Connor trying to control his breathing as if the conversation was causing him stress. "Baby, calm down." Kyle kissed his hair, rubbing his shoulder.
"Be honest with me, Kyle. Please."
"You want my honesty?"
Connor nodded against Kyle's chest.
It was then Kyle realized Connor was gripping his arms like a vice. "I'm afraid."
"Of what? Of me? Of the gossip on campus? The assholes on the team?"
"Will you take a deep breath? You're beginning to sound like you're hyperventilating." Kyle waited. Connor's grip loosened and he seemed calmer. "I'm afraid of how I feel about you."
"Should I be crying?"
"I don't know." Kyle smiled.
"Kyle..."
"Baby, I'm in love with you. I have it bad." Kyle squeezed him close. "I'm afraid because we're still in college and so young that it won't last."
"Do you want it to last?"
"God yeah. I feel like I found my soul mate. I never want to lose you."
"Where am I going?"
"I don't know. Once we graduate..." Kyle shrugged, knowing Connor could feel it.
"Where are you going? Back to Salem?"
"I don't have to. I can get a job anywhere."
"Then why do we have to split up?"
"Well, we don't. We could stay together permanently."
"Is that what you want?"
"Only if it's what you want." I hope, I hope.
"I want to be with you, but don't ask me to predict where we'll be twenty years from now."
"Where do you want to be in twenty years?"
"In bed with you. Like this. Only in a bigger bed and a better apartment."
Kyle laughed. "That's all I need to know."
"Do you want the same?"
"Yes."
Connor's body deflated its tenseness and sank against his. "I know we're young, Kyle. I know."
Kyle kissed Connor's head again, closing his eyes.
"Are you the loyal kind?"
"Yes." Kyle got the reassurance he needed. "You?"
"Yup. I'm not cheating on you. No way. I know when I have it good. Besides, what's out there? Donald Mulhouse?" Connor chuckled softly.
"Wow. I found my loyal man. I wasn't sure that was possible."
"Why not? Men have great loyal relationships. They aren't all promiscuous."
"I never said they were." Kyle felt Connor's dick thicken where it was trapped between them. "I'm just happy I found one."
"You did. I'm not turning into my dad. I'm never going to cheat on you. Never."
Kyle smiled. Everyone said that.
As if anticipating Kyle's thoughts, Connor added, "You have no idea how many times I get propositioned."
"Don't I? Professor Jacobs? Professor Patrick?"
"I only want Senior Baker."
"Good. I can sleep now." Kyle let out a deep sigh. Connor cupped his hand over his genitals. "At least I thought I could sleep." Kyle blinked.
"Sleep. I just love the way your dick feels. Grrr."
Kyle's sexual urges began to stir. "Damn!" he laughed.
"Wanna come?"
"I have to sleep. Big day coming up, telling Coach Banks we quit Monday and a long day of class."
"True." Connor yawned.
Kyle closed his eyes and finally fell asleep.
Connor waited for Kyle in the hall. He didn't know if it was his imagination but he thought people were talking about him, whispering and laughing as they passed.
"I'm crazy. No way." He spotted a familiar face. "Loraine!"
"Connor!" Loraine hurried across the crowded corridor. "How's life outside of Reiber Hall?"
"Okay. Look, Loraine, have you heard---"
Before Connor had finished his sentence, Loraine replied, "Yes! Why didn't you tell me and Jean you and Kyle Baker are gay?"
"Jesus! It hit the dorm as well?" Connor looked at the door to Kyle's lecture hall.
"Is it a secret?" Loraine blinked.
"Not now." Connor felt his cheeks heat up.
"If I told you how long it's been a rumor that you were gay, would you freak?"
"Augh." Connor ran his hand back through his hair nervously. "Please don't say years."
"Okay." Loraine shrugged, smiling.
Connor gulped. "Since you knew me?"
"Yup. First week of our freshman year." She giggled. "Connor, it's no big deal. I don't know why you kept it hidden. Everyone's okay with it."
"Not everyone," Connor said under his breath.
The door opened and a flood of students exited the classroom. Connor stepped aside from the flow.
"Are you waiting for Kyle?" Loraine grinned. "How cute is that? You guys make such a hot couple."
"Thanks, Loraine. Your support means a lot."
"Hey." Kyle greeted them. "Ready for our meeting with Coach Banks?"
"No. I'll never be ready for that."
"I have to run. Great seeing you again, Connor. Bye, Kyle!"
Connor waved as Loraine hurried off. "She said everyone in the dorm knows about us."
Kyle's jaw dropped. "Your old dorm? Jesus, don't people have a life?"
"Obviously not." Connor gestured for them to leave the building.
"Connor!"
He spotted Gus walking down the hall. Connor waited as Gus indicated he wanted a high-five. Connor slapped his hand but had no idea why they were doing it.
"I'm proud of ya, man."
"Oh. That." Connor glanced at Kyle for his reaction.
Gus continued down the hall. "Took guts, Worthington. I'm just glad you came out after you moved out."
Connor cringed at his laughter but had a feeling Gus wasn't being mean, just being Gus.
"Let's get this over with." Kyle tilted his head to the exit. "I'm not going to the locker room. Forget it. We'll get are asses kicked in there."
"Okay."
His thoughts getting the better of him, Connor didn't even realize Kyle wasn't in a chatty mood either as they made their way to the intramural field in search of their head coach.
After a cursory look around the offices and the gym, Connor asked the custodian, "Do you know where Coach Banks is?"
"Did you check his office?"
"We did but it was locked."
"He was in there on the phone a minute ago."
"Thanks," Kyle said and headed back to where they just were.
Connor leaned his ear to the door and tried the knob. "It's still locked."
"Knock."
"He never locks his door when he's in."
Kyle rapped his knuckles on the door.
Nothing happened.
"See?" Connor said. "Let's try the field again.
Just when they were about to leave, the door opened.
"Coach?" Connor thought he looked terrible.
"Coach, what happened?" Kyle asked, obviously concerned.
Coach Banks opened the door wider and signaled for them to enter. "Sit."
Connor sat down in front of the coach's desk as Kyle dragged a spare chair next to his. Suddenly Connor assumed his coach knew they were quitting the team, and dreaded someone else breaking the news to him. "Did someone tell you?"
"Yes." He stood near them, his arms crossed.
"I'm sorry, Coach. It couldn't be helped." Connor felt like a heel.
Coach Banks appeared confused. "What the hell does that mean?"
At the nasty tone, Connor gulped and looked to Kyle for help.
"We should have told you, Coach. But we didn't." Kyle's knuckles were white as he clutched the shoulder strap of his backpack tightly as it rested at his feet.
"When did you find out?"
Connor wondered if they were talking about the same thing. "Find out?"
"Yes."
"About what, Coach?" Kyle asked.
"About Donald Mulhouse."
Connor felt his heart beat faster and glanced at Kyle. But Kyle looked as confused as he was.
"Didn't you come here to tell me about Donald?" Coach Banks asked.
"Did he quit the team?" Kyle bit his lip.
Connor's skin went clammy and cold. Something was wrong. Very wrong.
"No." Coach Banks rubbed his forehead.
Kyle mouthed, 'What the fuck?' to Connor.
"Sir?" Connor cleared his throat. "We didn't come here to tell you about Donald. Did something happen to him?"
The coach collapsed in his chair and kept rubbing his jaw. "Late last night someone assaulted Donald. He was beaten very badly and taken to the hospital."
"What?" Kyle gasped.
Connor's knees began to shake. No. No. Please don't tell me what I think you're going to tell me.
"He died of his injuries early this morning."
Bile rose in Connor's throat. In reflex he covered his mouth.
"No way." Kyle was shaking visibly as well.
"If that's not what you guys have come here to tell me, what did you come here for?"
Connor met Kyle's eyes quickly. "We have to now, Kyle."
"You don't think---" Kyle said.
"Yeah. I do."
"Please tell me what's going on."
"Coach," Connor cleared his throat, "We came to tell you we quit." Connor waited. All the coach did was scrub at his eyes roughly.
"Okay."
"Okay," Kyle repeated flatly.
"Yes. I understand. Now more than ever."
"Oh God." Connor's worst fears were confirmed. "It was a gay bashing?"
Kyle choked loudly, as if he didn't get it the first time.
"That's not confirmed."
"But it's suspected?" Kyle's voice cracked.
Coach Banks stood and closed the door. He leaned on his desk near them and said, "I tried. I tried to put a stop to the stupidity. I did everything in my power to get the team to treat everyone equally. I don't know what more I could do. I'm not a cop. I'm not a babysitter. I punished the ones who I found out about. I kicked Ross off the team." He opened his hands as if to say, "What else could I do?"
"Kyle." Connor's lips quivered. He was petrified.
"Did Donald 'come out'?" Kyle asked.
"I don't know. He was the object of speculation according to the locker room gossip. I get the idea you were threatened."
"Yes. I was cornered in the locker before the UC game." Kyle's Adam's apple moved as he swallowed.
"You never told me."
"Coach," Kyle replied, "Connor and I knew you couldn't do anything. And obviously we were right."
"Do...do the police have any suspects?" Connor needed to puke.
"They have one witness. I don't know if they're implicating any of the guys on our team. They won't say. Not yet."
"Should we tell the police what happened to us?" Kyle asked.
"Up to you. It may shed some light on it. Again, I don't know what the witness saw."
Connor stood, his hand over his mouth. He knew he couldn't make it to the bathroom.
"Shit." Kyle panicked and looked around the room. "He's going to be sick, Coach."
Coach Banks grabbed his trashcan and held it in front of Connor.
Connor retched into it. Kyle cuddled him and helped him ride it out. "Okay. It's okay."
Bile stung Connor's throat. He sat on the floor and tried to fight back the urge.
Coach Banks crouched in front of Connor. "I'll get you a bottle of water. Hold tight."
When he left the room, Kyle held Connor's hair in a ponytail in case he did eject his stomach contents. Connor was coated in sweat. "Oh, God, Kyle. Those homophobes killed Don."
Kyle's mouth tightened to a thin line.
"They would have killed you or me if they caught us out on our own."
Kyle said nothing, rubbing Connor's back and neck gently.
"Here." The coach returned, holding out a bottle of water.
Connor rolled it on his forehead first, then opened it and drank it down thirstily.
"You feel any better?"
Connor nodded and used Kyle to stand back up, making his way to the chair.
The coach shut the door again. Once they were all seated, he leaned on his desk as if speaking in confidence. "I think we all know who was capable."
Connor nodded.
"We should tell the police, right, Coach?"
"I assume they would respect your anonymity, Kyle, but if it goes to court, you may have to testify."
"I will. No problem."
"Did any of the guys threaten to kill you?"
"No." Kyle glanced at Connor. "They didn't. They just wanted me and Connor to quit."
"Connor?"
Connor shook his head. "No one threatened to kill me. Oh. I got one anonymous text message, that's it. Nothing verbal."
"Like I said. I can't tell you what to do. I can't even advise you. I'm not a lawyer."
"Who told you about Donald?" Kyle asked.
"The dean. He got a call from the Los Angeles Police."
Kyle nodded. He addressed Connor, "You okay?"
"Yes." Connor had nightmarish images of Donald's last few moments on earth. Of Kevin and the good ole' boys kicking his head in once he was on the ground. Of them shouting nasty, foul things at him. It made him shiver.
"I'm having the campus psychologist come out to talk to the team," Coach Banks said. "I suggest you get some help on your own."
"Yes, Coach." Kyle kept looking at Connor.
"Don't clear out your lockers now. The team will be in there changing. Call me and I'll get you in another time."
"Okay. Thanks." Kyle touched Connor's arm.
At Kyle's touch, Connor felt like he was waking up from a stupor.
"You'll be okay. I think now that you've quit you don't have to worry." Coach Banks stared at Connor. "My guess is that Donald didn't agree to quit."
"I'm not even sure he was gay, Coach. The guy was engaged."
"I know, Kyle."
"We didn't tell anyone we quit either." Kyle inhaled deeply. "I didn't want to let them intimidate us. But now they sure have."
Connor couldn't talk about it anymore. He gathered up his backpack and brought it to his lap.
"I'm here if you need me."
Kyle stood, helping Connor to his feet. "I know. Thanks, Coach. Sorry it worked out this way."
"You're not the only one. I'm considering resigning. I can't support a team who did this."
Connor had to get out of the room. He couldn't breathe. He stumbled towards the door.
"See ya, Coach."
"Bye, Kyle. Take care of Connor."
"I will."
A ringing came to Connor's ears. Kyle held him upright, gripped to his arm, helping him walk. Connor heard men's voices and panicked. "We can't go that way!"
"It's away from the locker room. It leads directly to the parking area by the intramural field. Trust me."
Connor was shaking so much he could barely function. Kyle's grip tightened. They pushed through the exit to daylight. Connor scanned around. Police cars were everywhere.
"Holy shit." Connor froze.
Kyle backed him against the wall of the building so they could watch.
Radios crackled in the still air. Black and white patrol cars, unmarked cars with blue lights whirling on their dashboards, K9 dogs, LAPD and campus police were gathering, conferring.
Connor's eyes felt dry. He didn't want to blink.
The crowd of officers moved quickly into the locker room.
"Did Coach Banks know this was happening?"
Connor didn't answer. He was petrified.
The voices of the officers commanding people echoed even outside the entrance of the building. Kyle dragged Connor to the corner for a better view.
The door was held open by an officer who had his hand on his holstered gun.
"Holy shit!" Kyle said quietly.
Moments later, four of their teammates were escorted out in handcuffs. Among them was Kevin and the mouthy junior, Dick, who had antagonized Connor and Kyle.
"Those are the same guys who cornered me in the locker."
"Where's Ross? I bet he was a part of it."
"Me too. But they have to look somewhere else for him."
"Hang on." Connor spotted two cops standing near a patrol car. "There's someone in their back seat."
"Let's look." Kyle made like he was going to approach.
"I can't."
"Let me."
"Don't leave me."
Kyle held onto Connor, narrowing his eyes. "Bet they already got Ross."
"It has to be him."
"The ringleader. Good. Rot in jail, you assholes." Kyle's jaw muscles twitched.
Once the other players were locked in the back seats of four patrol cars, Connor breathed a sigh of relief. "We need to talk to them."
Kyle removed his mobile phone and turned it on. It beeped, indicating messages, but it appeared he ignored them. "Yes, hi, I'm trying to get the number for UCLA campus police. Can you look it up for me?" Kyle stared into Connor's eyes as he spoke. "Yes, dial it for me. Thank you." Kyle waited.
Connor's attention was back on the large-scale arrest. It had begun to attract attention from the student body, media, and spectators.
"Yes, hello. My name is Kyle Baker and I'm a student at UCLA..."
Connor tried to listen to Kyle but his focus kept being diverted to the chaos.
"Yes...uh huh..." Kyle flicked Connor's hair back playfully, as if trying to get his attention.
Connor gave him a smile, though it felt forced. Poor Donald. Poor thing. My God. Beaten to death. No. How horrible. I can't deal with this. What if it was Kyle? What if something happened to Kyle?
"Yes. I'm actually at the scene," Kyle said, "I haven't approached anyone...right. But what about our anonymity? To be honest, Sergeant, the last thing either me or my friend want is to be on some hit list."
Connor jolted in terror, shaking his head.
Kyle grabbed his wrist, making eye contact. "Could we? It would be better. Yes. I know where your headquarters are on campus. The Kinross Building." Kyle checked his watch. "As long as it takes to get there from the intramural field."
Connor tried to inhale deeply a few times.
"See you soon." Kyle shut off his phone. "We have a private interview."
"Okay."
"We have to do this. For Donald."
"Yes."
"And to make sure those Nazi skinheads rot in jail."
Connor nodded, but he was scared to death.
"Come on, babe. We can do this."
"You're my hero. If anything happened to you---"
"It won't." Kyle gestured for Connor to start walking.
Kyle put his arm around Connor's neck and held him close as they made their way across the campus.
~
It was scary. Kyle couldn't deny that. Telling the police in a statement that you were threatened by the same "possible" suspects who had beaten to death a man who they "thought" was gay, was a nightmare.
Two hours later, Kyle and Connor emerged from the office. Kyle checked the time. It was nearly six and his stomach was complaining, though he felt sick.
"We need to eat."
"I'm not hungry."
"We're still going to eat something." Kyle adjusted his backpack on his shoulder. "This is going to be a major scandal. Don't you think? A huge media thing?"
"I don't know." Connor brushed his hair out of his face as the breeze blew it. "Where are we headed?"
"I was thinking the sports bar where Hannah works. She'll give us beer."
"Okay."
Kyle was glad Connor agreed. He craved booze.
Knowing the parking was brutal on the boulevard, they walked to the bar. He spotted Hannah and waited to catch her attention.
Another waitress said, "Just sit anywhere."
"Thanks." Kyle nodded, waving at Hannah.
She rushed over. "Oh my God! I heard someone from the team was beaten up last night! Don't you ever check your text messages, Connor?"
"Sorry," he answered sheepishly.
"We need beer," Kyle said.
"Go sit in that booth. I'll bring two over."
"Thanks." Kyle gestured for Connor to go first.
Connor dumped his pack on the seat and slid in, his posture indicating his weariness.
Kyle had no doubt he was mirroring it.
"Here." Hannah placed a bottle of beer in front of each of them, sitting down next to Connor. "Who was it?"
"Donald Mulhouse." Connor sipped the beer.
"Why would Donald be beaten up by the team?"
Kyle met Connor's eye quickly. "Because they thought he was gay."
Hannah made a noise in sympathy. "Why didn't they beat you guys up then?"
"Hannah!" Connor said. "Thanks a lot."
"No. I didn't mean it that way." Hannah elbowed him. "Look, the rumor was that you two actually admitted you were gay to the team after the fight Kyle had with Ross. Donald texted everyone about it."
Kyle drank down the beer to the bottom, yearning twelve more. "I can't believe how much Donald told everyone. That sucks."
"Yeah, he was a gossip-monger. Everyone knew that, but he was also everyone's source of info." Hannah said, "What I don't get is why beat up a guy who you're not sure is gay instead of two who admitted they are."
"Man, you're killing me." Connor moaned and rubbed his face.
"I know what you mean," Kyle replied, though he understood Connor's opinion. "Do morons need an excuse? I think Donald was in the wrong place at the wrong time."
"Well, there was another frat party last night."
Connor finished his beer and put the empty bottle in front of Hannah. "I'm still in shock."
Hannah stood, taking the two bottles. "I have to get back to work. You want a burger and a veggie burger?"
"Yes, please. And two more beers?" Kyle asked.
"Coming up."
Once she left, Connor propped his chin up in his palm. "Why didn't they kill the guys who were really gay?" he said in a high voice, mimicking Hannah.
"She didn't mean it like that." Kyle used his index finger and thumb to massage his eyes. They felt dry and sore. "Don't you get what she's saying?"
"No. I'm too tired."
"In her weird way, she's supporting us. Believe me."
"I know."
"We need to buy a six-pack at the shop on corner."
"We do."
After a quiet moment of contemplation, Connor whispered, "Kyle, I'm afraid to walk around campus alone."
"Don't be. In daylight, with a huge mass of students around, no one will do anything."
"Should we buy a gun?"
"No." Kyle refused to be bullied. "There are better ways to fight."
"Do you know self-defense?"
"I'm not talking physically."
Connor tilted his head.
Hannah returned with two more beers.
"You're great. Thanks." Kyle raised it to her in a toast.
"I feel sorry for you guys. I think everyone should just grow up."
"Thanks, Hannah." Connor squeezed her wrist.
"You're welcome. And you know, just because you guys are a couple, doesn't mean you can't call me and Vicky to go see a movie or have dinner or something."
"True." Kyle smiled.
"Your order's up. Hang on."
Kyle watched her hustle away. "See? Support where you least expect it."
"I feel bad for upsetting her that day when she tried to screw me."
"Oh well. Looks like she's over it." Kyle drank the second beer as quickly as the first.
When the food was placed in front of him, Kyle realized just how hungry he was. "It smells great, Hannah. Thanks."
"Don't worry. Enjoy."
"Thanks, sweetie." Connor smiled.
Hannah tugged Connor's hair playfully and headed to the next table.
Kyle stole a french fry off of Connor's plate, smiling as he chewed it.
"Meat-man."
"Carrot-cruncher." Kyle felt Connor's legs brush his under the table. He threw Connor a kiss.
~
Connor carried the six-pack under his arm as Kyle unlocked their apartment door. Once he placed the beer on the kitchen counter, Connor removed his mobile phone from his backpack and turned it on, dialing, sticking it to his ear.
"Hello?"
"Mom?" Connor nodded yes, when Kyle offered to open a beer for him.
"Connor! I heard something on the news this evening and I was worried. I wish you'd keep your cell phone on."
"I'm sorry. I had a feeling you may have gotten wind of the incident." Connor mouthed thanks to Kyle and drank the beer.
"Well, the news said a player on the UCLA lacrosse team was killed. I was very upset."
"What else did the news coverage say?" Connor relaxed with Kyle on the couch. Kyle reached for Connor's legs and unlaced his shoes, tugging them off for him.
"It said a young man was killed in an accident late last night."
Connor blinked. "An accident?"
"I think they said an accident. An incident? Oh, I can't remember, Connor. Did you know the boy?"
"Yes."
"I'm sorry, Connor."
"Thanks, Mom. Uh, I quit the team. They don't want gay guys on it." Connor shifted his position to lie crosswise on the couch as Kyle massaged his bare feet on his lap.
"What do you mean? Can they do that? Aren't there laws?"
Connor was surprised his mom was defending him. "No. Kyle and I quit to avoid the same treatment as the guy who was beaten to death."
The other end of the line went silent.
"Mom?" Connor wondered if he lost the connection.
"That's terrible, Connor."
"It is. And it scared the crap out of me. I'm not sacrificing myself for lacrosse."
Kyle sipped his beer, running one hand up Connor's leg.
"I can't believe it. Maybe your father can write a letter."
Connor laughed. "Yeah? Would Dad do that?"
"Of course he would."
The smile fell from Connor's face. "He would? After all the verbal abuse he put me through growing up?"
"Your father and I had a long talk, Connor."
"And?"
"I think he just wanted to you be a man and admit it."
Connor choked making Kyle give him a concerned glance.
"Connor?"
"Mom, I was just as scared of admitting it to Dad as I was the guys on the team."
"He's your father, Connor."
"If you say so. I have to go, Mom. I'm exhausted."
"Come visit this weekend. Stay for dinner. Bring Kyle."
"You sure?"
"I'm sure."
Connor made a face at Kyle in shock. Kyle set his empty beer bottle on the floor and pushed his face into Connor's crotch.
"Okay, Mom. I'll let you know."
"Good. Bye, dear."
"Bye." Connor disconnected the call and placed his phone and beer next to him on the floor so he could give Kyle his attention. "The media is calling it an accident, or an incident."
"And?" Kyle kissed Connor's zipper flap.
"It was a murder. A gay bashing-murder."
"They'll wait until the jerks are charged before they admit that."
"Hmm. Maybe." Connor hoped the media would report it correctly. He had his doubts.
"Too tired?"
"Never."
Kyle opened Connor's jeans and Connor slid them off with his briefs. "Mom wants us to come for dinner this weekend."
"Good." Kyle nuzzled into Connor's public hair.
"Mm..." Connor hummed as Kyle used his face to caress his hard-on. "Forget Mom. Eat me."
Kyle chuckled. He gave his cock a quick lick, then with a hand on each thigh, Kyle began spreading Connor's legs.
Giving me what I gave you? Connor began breathing hard in anticipation. He had wanted a man to rim him forever. Was it going to happen? Connor loved the way Kyle's forehead creased in pleasure as he ran his lips over his sack. Please, please...
Kyle paused, staring between Connor's legs. Connor held his breath, begging silently.
When the tip of Kyle's tongue touched Connor's ass, Connor closed his eyes and groaned. Yes! Yes!
Slowly Kyle grew bolder, experimenting.
His vocalizations rising with the act, Connor wanted to encourage Kyle to go wild on him. Baby, do it. Do it. But he was reluctant to ask Kyle to do anything he wasn't comfortable doing, so Connor moaned instead.
Kyle backed off again, taking another look at Connor's body.
Connor was so excited his cock had turned dark reddish purple and was thick and pulsating.
"Good?"
"Of fuck yeah, Kyle." Connor used his hands to open his legs wider for him.
Kyle licked his lips right before he dove in.
Connor gasped and his body jerked as Kyle chewed on the base of his dick and ran his coarse jaw over the skin inside his thighs. "Holy shit!" Connor's eyes sprang wide open as Kyle did exactly what he wanted him to do. Devour him.
Kyle began massaging Connor's body all around his groin. It drove Connor insane. He gripped the sofa under him to prevent flying off from the momentum. Kyle gnawed his way up Connor's length, slipping his index finger inside Connor's wet hole.
"OhmyGod..." Connor prepared for liftoff.
The more aggressive Kyle became, the higher Connor rose. While the internal massage competed with Kyle's mouth doing laps up and down his dick to his balls, and nipping his inner thighs, the orgasm began washing over Connor. Connor arched his back and began riding the wave of a climax.
Kyle obviously felt it start inside Connor's body, because he went crazy, sucking and finger-probing until Connor cried out and shot his load.
Kyle whimpered in ecstasy as he drew hard for every drop.
Never had Connor experienced sex like this. He didn't even imagining anyone could coax this kind of pleasure out of his body. It was a dream.
As he recuperated, Kyle removed his finger and lapped at his dick lazily. A bead of sweat rolled off of Kyle's face and hit Connor's pelvis.
"I love you. I love you." Connor gasped, gaining air.
"Fuck, you taste good."
"Veggie cum." Connor laughed tiredly.
"Don't move."
"I can't."
Kyle vanished and raced back with a condom and the lube. He stripped off his clothing and sheathed his stiff cock.
Gradually getting his breathing back to normal, Connor wiped the sweat off his face and waited. Kyle was back inside his ass with two fingers and a lot of lube.
"Oh, baby!" Connor said. "Someone's hot!"
"Shit. I'm about to blow." Kyle rocked Connor's legs backwards and put his dick on target. "Ready?"
"Hell yeah."
Kyle jammed his cock in. Connor knew he couldn't hold back. He relaxed his muscles and exhaled. "That's it." Connor urged Kyle deeper. "Make the shot count, Baker."
Kyle laughed, but soon was all business. He braced one hand on Connor's shin and kept hold of the base of his own dick with the other. Connor enjoyed Kyle's posture as he witnessed their connection. It seemed Kyle was getting off on the sight of his cock in Connor's ass. "Nice?"
"You gorgeous fucker." Kyle glanced at Connor's face quickly but was soon engrossed by the action between them.
Connor watched the pleasure grow on Kyle's expression and body language. It brought a big smile to his face. Look at you. Ya fabulous jock. My macho man. Mine.
"Babe..." Kyle gasped and increased his speed.
"Come on, lover."
Kyle fucked Connor as if he were a machine.
He was on fire and Connor loved it. Loved it! To tease Kyle, Connor raised his own balls up, imagining he was improving the view.
It put Kyle over the edge.
"Ah! Ah!" Kyle rammed his body deeper and choked in a gasp.
The delicious throbbing of Kyle's cock followed and Connor closed his eyes to savor it. "I bet that felt good."
"Holy...shit..." Kyle gulped air. "I almost passed out."
Taking a second to recover, Kyle then held the base of the rubber and pulled out slowly. "You okay? I kind of got carried away."
"Loved it."
"Yeah? You sure?" Kyle dropped the spent condom on the floor. "You'd tell me if I was too rough, right?" He wiped at his dripping, sweaty face.
"Love it rough. The nastier the better."
Kyle blinked. "Yeah?"
Connor grabbed Kyle by his biceps and dragged him down so they were connected from chest to toes. "Yeah."
"I'm the luckiest gay-fucker on the planet." Kyle's smile was filled with adoration.
"You took the words right out of my mouth." Connor brought Kyle's lips closer for a kiss.
On the way to class Tuesday morning, Connor bought an LA Times newspaper from a box on the street. He thumbed through it as they walked.
"It's not front page news?" Kyle asked.
"Wait. Check this out." Connor showed Kyle a tiny article in the local section. "It says a student from the UCLA campus was assaulted after a party at a frat house."
"And?"
Connor continued to read, "...victim Donald Mulhouse, twenty years old, died at Providence from his injuries..."
"And?" Kyle asked in exasperation.
"No mention of the reason he was beaten up." Connor didn't realize Kyle stopped walking until he glanced up from the paper. "Nothing."
Kyle appeared furious.
"They may be keeping quiet until they're charged. Maybe it's a court thing."
"Bullshit." Kyle resumed their pace.
"Kyle." Connor folded up the paper.
Kyle shook his head, obviously finished with the discussion.
It did seem strange. Why would they keep the fact that there was a gay bashing and murder of a lacrosse team member a secret?
~
Connor sat in his seat next to Mary in biology class. "Hi."
"Hi, Connor. Are you okay? Everyone's talking about Donald Mulhouse."
"No. I'm not okay. The papers didn't even report it as a gay murder."
"I thought that was weird too. I watched the news all night trying to get information on it, and the TV stations only said he was beaten up."
Connor removed his notebook from his pack, trying not to scream.
"Was Don gay?" Mary whispered, "He sent a text message around to everyone that you and Kyle came out as lovers. I have to admit I figured you were."
Connor cringed but tried not to show it. "We quit the team. We were getting harassed pretty badly."
"No."
Biting his lip, Connor nodded. "We went to the cops and told them what we knew, but it looks like the school has successfully shut down the fact that the motive was Don's sexuality."
"So Donald was gay too."
"I don't know. He never admitted it, and he was engaged. I have no idea."
"That's fucked up, either way."
"No shit."
Professor Jacobs called the class to attention to begin her lecture. She gave Connor a look of deep sympathy.
Though Connor was appreciative, he was astounded how quickly and how far-spread news of he and Kyle's preference had raced across a campus as large as UCLA.
Why is my sex life everyone's business?
~
Kyle worried when he wasn't with Connor. Would someone try to hurt him? Jump him? Beat him up?
No. No. NO.
Nothing will happen to my baby.
As his fears began to make him ill, Kyle spotted Connor coming his way across campus to meet him. He exhaled in relief.
"Hey." Kyle touched his arm, reassuring himself Connor was fine.
"We have something to do."
"We do?" Kyle asked.
"Yes. Let's go."
Kyle hurried to keep up with Connor's determined pace. He was about to ask where they were going, but shut up and let Connor show him what he was planning.
The moment the student activity center came into view, Kyle spotted a rally or protest. He was about to ask Connor if he knew about it, but judging by Connor's expression, he didn't.
The closer they drew to the action, the more Kyle could see. Rainbow banners, signs against gay bashing, and support diversity poster were everywhere.
"Wow." Connor said, "I was considering consulting the LGBT center about approaching the Daily Bruin for an article about the attack. But it looks like this may be in response to it."
"I hope so." Kyle clasped Connor's hand and walked to someone carrying a sign. "Hi. Is this protest in reaction to Donald Mulhouse's killing?"
"Yes." The young man noticed they were holding hands and looked relieved. "Do you want to join?"
"We do," Connor said, "We were on the lacrosse team. We came out and were threatened."
"You're Connor and Kyle?"
Kyle choked in surprise as Connor's eyes grew wide. "Holy shit. Please don't tell me everyone knows about it."
"Yeah, everyone here does." He chuckled and reached out his hand. "I'm Alex Richfield. Nice to meet you guys." Alex pointed behind him. "That's my lover, Oliver Loveday."
"How do you know what happened to us?" Connor asked.
Alex shrugged. "Word gets around. Oliver and I can't do anything without the whole campus knowing either."
"Is the director around?" Connor asked.
"She's at that desk. Right there."
"Thanks, Alex."
"My pleasure. Hey, everyone's here for you. You're not alone."
Kyle paused and gave Alex a warm smile. "Thank you."
"My pleasure."
Connor walked to the desk mumbling, "I can't believe everyone knows we came out. Donald had one heck of a text network."
"Ya tell one student, they text ten, they text ten more, you know how it goes."
"No, I don't. That's why I don't keep my phone on." Connor stood in front of the table. "Are you the director?"
"Yes. What can I do for you?"
"I'm Connor---"
"Worthington? And Kyle Baker?" she asked excitedly.
Connor glanced at Kyle and sighed loudly. "Good Lord. We're notorious."
"Come here. Come with me." She hopped to her feet and waved for Connor and Kyle to follow her.
They entered the student center behind her.
"I was just curious if you'd help us get an article into the Daily Bruin." Connor kept up with her as she jogged down the hall.
"Yes! That's exactly what we want from you two. The frickin' media is hiding the fact this was a gay-motivated crime. We needed you guys to get the facts straight."
"Son of a bitch." Kyle shook his head.
The woman entered an office and looked up something in her rolodex. She held out her mobile phone and dialed. "Hey, this is Patty from over at the LGBT center. I have Kyle Baker and Connor Worthington with me." She grinned at the men. "On our way!" She pocketed the phone and said, "Let's go to Kerckhoff Hall. Brian, the editor, wants this story in the morning edition."
"Cool." Connor nodded.
Kyle said, "Are you sure, Connor? If you think everyone on campus knows us now..."
He asked Patty, "Okay if we don't do a photo?"
"Up to you. Too bad though. You make a great couple."
"I don't think so, Connor."
"Okay, babe," Connor replied.
Connor sat on the floor, leaning against Kyle's legs as Kyle relaxed on the sofa. Kyle combed his fingers through Connor's hair, pulling it back into a ponytail and releasing it.
"So? What do you think, Dad?"
Arthur Worthington's gaze was riveted to the evening news, a copy of the Daily Bruin was on his lap. "You did the right thing."
"Wow. Am I hearing right?" Connor laughed.
"Look, Connor," Arthur said, "I only want you to be honest with me and your mother. That's all I ever wanted from you. Lying to me, your mother, yourself, your friends..."
"Dad," Connor interrupted him. "My teammate died because someone thought he was gay. Give me a break."
"I understand that. But I thought I raised my son to be tough and to stand up for what he believes in."
"Did you?" Connor gasped comically.
Kyle nudged him with his knees to behave.
"Your father is right, dear," Carole said. "We knew you were going to be gay from a young age. You used to play with my shoes and jewelry."
"Mom!" Connor choked in embarrassment, hearing Kyle laugh.
Connor's attention was brought back to the television broadcast.
"In an update to our story about the gay-motivated killing of a UCLA student, we just heard from our field reporter that the head coach of the lacrosse team, William Banks, has resigned. In a statement to the press, Coach Banks said he felt somehow responsible for the incident and wished he could have foreseen and prevented it. We'll have more news coverage of this story on our eleven o'clock edition."
"We figured he would," Kyle said. "He was so upset."
"Are you staying overnight, Connor?" Carole asked.
"We can, but we have to leave early in the morning. There's a rally and a tribute to Donald on campus." Connor laid his head back on Kyle's lap and closed his eyes. "You realize we'll be sleeping together, right?"
When no one answered, Connor peeked at his father. He wasn't scowling, just watching the news. "Hello?"
"Yes, dear."
Connor leaned backwards to see Kyle. Kyle winked.
Stretching behind him, Connor grabbed Kyle and coaxed him close so he could whisper to him. "She has no idea her future son-in-law is going to be fucking me raw in an hour."
"Shh!" Kyle stifled his hilarity and glanced at Connor's parents in paranoia.
"Grr...bodycheck me, midfieldman."
"You're incorrigible."
"Can't wait. Let's go now." Connor got to his feet, drawing his parents' attention. "Yawn." He raised his arms over his head in a parody of being tired. "Bedtime."
"It's six thirty," Arthur said.
"Want me to be honest?" Connor said like a dare.
"Oh, God." Kyle moaned.
"Not if it's going to be rude," his mother replied.
"Then I'll spare you." Connor waved to them and maneuvered Kyle to the hallway by nudging his bottom.
"Goodnight, Mr. and Mrs. Worthington," Kyle said as he was escorted away.
"Goodnight, Kyle," was echoed back.
"That was embarrassing." Kyle climbed the staircase to Connor's bedroom.
"Hey, they said I'm to be myself and not hide. So? They have to get used to this if we're going to stay over on the weekends."
"True."
Connor closed and locked the door, stripping off his clothes. "Be rough with me."
"How rough?" Kyle whipped off his shirt.
Naked, Connor sauntered closer to Kyle. He draped his arm around Kyle's neck and pushed their cocks together. "Very."
"That sounds like an intentional foul." Kyle held him close.
"Not really. You're just going to score."
"Oh! Baby!" Kyle picked him up and spun him in the air.
Connor laughed, holding tight to Kyle. They leapt onto the bed with a bounce and Kyle began licking and chewing on Connor's neck, working his way down.
"That lacrosse team brought us together," Connor said as chills raced over his skin.
"It did."
"I don't feel like an outsider in the world any longer."
"Excellent."
Connor inhaled sharply as Kyle gnawed on his nipple. "I feel whole."
In reply Kyle moaned, teasing Connor's hard nipple between his teeth.
"Yes." Connor shivered. "I like it when you play hard."
"You're driving me crazy!" Kyle sat up and took a good look at Connor's naked body.
Spreading his legs and raising his arms over his head, Connor whimpered, "Take me."
"Agh! Connor!" Kyle grabbed his own dick as if to stop it from coming.
Connor held his knees and opened his body up to Kyle, inviting him in.
"Fuck. Fuck." Kyle closed his eyes and ejaculated across Connor's thighs.
"Wow." Connor was impressed he got Kyle so hot.
A split second later, Kyle dove between Connor's legs and devoured Connor's balls, sucking and lapping at them. Connor jerked at the suddenness, then closed his eyes to savor it. As Kyle wet his hole and chewed on his inner thighs, Connor knew he'd found heaven.
"That's it, my lover."
"Rough." Kyle pushed Connor's legs against him, forcing Connor to expose more of his ass.
"Yeah. I love it."
"You got it." Kyle grabbed Connor's dick and jerked it.
As Connor was attended in several ways, he knew this type of love making was necessary. It was what he craved, and he was thrilled to find a lover who shared his passion. "Necessary roughness." He smiled.
"Did you say something?" Kyle panted between wet, tickling licks.
"I love you."
"I love you too."
Connor clenched his jaw and came.
The End
About the Author
Award-winning author G. A. Hauser was born in Fair
Lawn, New Jersey, USA, and attended university in New York City. She moved to Seattle, Washington where she worked as a patrol officer with the Seattle Police Department. In early 2000 G.A. moved to Hertfordshire,
England, where she began her writing in earnest and
published her first book, In the Shadow of Alexander. Now a full-time writer in Ohio, G.A. has written dozens of
novels, including several bestsellers of gay fiction. For more information on other books by G.A., visit the author at her official website at: www.authorgahauser.com.
G.A. has won awards from All Romance eBooks for Best Novel 2007, Secrets and Misdemeanors, Best Author 2007. Best Novel 2008, Mile High, and Best Author 2008.
The G.A. Hauser Collection
Available Now
Single Titles
A Question of Sex
The Physician and the Actor
For Love and Money
The Kiss
Naked Dragon
Secrets and Misdemeanors
Capital Games
Giving Up the Ghost
To Have and To Hostage
Love you, Loveday
The Boy Next Door
When Adam Met Jack
Exposure
The Vampire and the Man-eater
Murphy's Hero
Mark Antonious deMontford
Prince of Servitude
Calling Dr Love
The Rape of St. Peter
The Wedding Planner
Going Deep
Pirates
Miller's Tale
Vampire Nights
Teacher's Pet
In the Shadow of Alexander
The Rise and Fall of the Sacred Band of Thebes
The Action Series
Acting Naughty
Playing Dirty
Getting it in the End
Behaving Badly
Dripping Hot
Men in Motion Series
Mile High
Cruising
Driving Hard
Leather Boys
Coming Soon
Single Titles
Double Trouble
In The Dark and What Should Never Be, Erotic Short
Stories
Rescue Series
Man to Man
Two In Two Out
Top Men
G.A. Hauser
Writing as Amanda Winters
Sister Moonshine
Nothing Like Romance
Silent Reign
Butterfly Suicide
Mutley's Crew

