
Inestimable Blessings
About Amanda Young's
Inestimable Blessings
Lee Calder's life is right on track. He has a small circle of close friends, a career he loves, and a baby on the way via a surrogate. Mr. Right is nowhere to be found, but Lee isn't about to let that little tidbit rain on his parade. He's more than willing to thrust his other needs aside and focus on fulfilling his lifelong dream of being a father.
With his love life in the gutter, Lee turns to fantasies of his hunky neighbor, Finn Alexander. His daydreaming is merely a harmless diversion until Finn comes to Lee's rescue on a dark and stormy night.
To Lee's surprise, the chemistry they shared in his imagination is nothing compared to the real thing. Finn is as hot between the sheets as Lee always envisioned. Better still, they get along famously outside the bedroom. The only things standing in the way of Lee having it all are the bundle of joy due any minute and Finn's apparent aversion to children.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental.
Inestimable Blessings
© 2010 by Amanda Young
Edited by Jennifer Barker
Cover design by Amanda Young
All Rights Are Reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
WARNING: The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this or any copyrighted work is illegal. File sharing is an International crime, prosecuted by the United States Department of Justice and the United States Border Patrol, Division of Cyber Crimes, in partnership with Interpol. Criminal copyright infringement, including infringement without monetary gain, is punishable by seizure of computers, up to 5 years in federal prison and a fine of $250,000 per reported instance.
With heartfelt thanks, I'd like to dedicate this story to the members of my chat group and Dana, in particular, who helped me choose the title.
"A baby is an inestimable blessing and bother."
Mark Twain
Awe didn't come close to describing what Lee Calder felt as he stared at a blurry black-and-white image of his unborn child. The current ultrasound was only his second glimpse of the baby. The first time had been months earlier, when the fetus was only eighteen weeks along and much smaller. At thirty-four weeks, the image was much larger. Although the grainy depiction left a lot to be desired, the picture showed a much clearer representation of the tiny human waiting to be brought into the world.
The obstetrician moved the handheld transducer around Dawn Cunningham's distended abdomen. The machine clicked and whirred as the picture shifted. "There's your baby's chest and the little heart. If you look closely, you can see all four chambers."
With a heartfelt sigh, Lee took his surrogate's hand and gave it a squeeze. "I can't believe how amazing this is."
"I know." Lying flat on her back, Dawn pulled her attention away from the machine long enough to grant Lee a serene smile. With her long, wheat-colored hair pulled back into a ponytail, Dawn looked more like a teenager than a woman nearing thirty. Her cornflower blue eyes glittered with moisture. "It really is a miracle. Your little miracle."
"Yes, it is." After all the years he'd dreamed of being a father and listened to one naysayer after another criticize his aspiration, the main event was now only six weeks away. In less than two months, he would be a dad. I can hardly believe it's real. His heart swelled with emotion for the little person he had yet to meet but already loved with every fiber of his being.
"What's that?" Lee asked, pointing at the small blob jiggling around on screen.
"It's a foot," Dr. Ballard explained. "The movement beside it is a hand."
"One of the hands is down by the feet?" Lee tore his gaze away from the baby long enough to glance at Dr. Ballard, a short, thickset woman with raven hair shot through with silver. The few times Lee had been around her, the good doctor had seemed reserved and quiet. Although Lee believed her cold demeanor was due to disapproval of his relationship with Dawn, Dawn had reassured him Dr. Ballard was always a little standoffish but nevertheless a very good obstetrician who'd delivered all four of Dawn's biological children.
"Mm-hmm." The obstetrician moved the goo-covered wand around a little more. "Here's the top of the baby's head, and wait... There's the face." She pointed to the screen. "Just beneath it, you can see his or her other hand."
"Wow." Lee stared, mesmerized, at the indistinct features of his child. He could have stood there and watched for the rest of the day.
All too soon, the image moved around a little more and focused in on the baby's profile. The doctor described what was on screen in case there was any question about the visual. "There's the forehead, nose, upper and lower lips, and the chin. The little dots underneath are the baby's fingers."
The dots wiggled, as if the baby was waving at them, and Lee's breath stuttered. He didn't know how it was possible to love someone so much when he had yet to meet them, but his heart was full to bursting with emotion. Lee tightened his grip around Dawn's small, warm fingers and sent a silent prayer to whatever deity looked out for unborn children. He couldn't wait to meet his child and get started spoiling him or her rotten.
\*
Six hours later, Lee hustled into Peckers Bar and Grill and cast a frantic glance around for his friends. Spotting them off to the left in the corner booth toward the back of the room, he waved and hurried over, conscious of the fact that he was once again late for their weekly powwow. He smiled as he slid into the booth beside Ted, opposite Jimmy and Sal. "Sorry I'm late. The snow made traffic hell between here and Asheville."
"Excuses, excuses." Jimmy picked up the pitcher of beer sitting in the middle of the table, filled another glass, and slid it across the table toward Lee. "At least you made it before the first pitcher disappeared this time."
Lee caught the glass, making foam slosh over the rim and spill on his hand. He lifted it and brought the rim to his mouth, taking a small sip. "Thanks."
"So"---Jimmy leaned in over the table---"how'd it go?"
"Things were fine." Lee tried his best to tamp down his enthusiasm. One or the other of his friends was always giving him hell for hiring a surrogate, and he wasn't in the mood to listen to any negativity, not when he'd just spent the day with Dawn.
Ted pushed his wire-rimmed glasses up the bridge of his narrow nose. "Just fine? That's the best you can do?"
"All right." Lee beamed at Ted. Thank goodness he had at least one buddy on his side. While he'd known Ted a shorter duration than Sal and Jimmy, both of whom he'd gone to college with, he and Ted shared a love of children. Whereas Lee had never given up on having kids of his own, Ted never dared to dream that high. Instead, he taught English at the local high school. "Well, since you asked and all, today was fabulous. I went to Dawn's OB/GYN appointment and got to see the baby again. My little peanut has grown to about the size of a honeydew melon, if you can believe it. The doc says he or she is about four or five pounds now---which explains why Dawn's belly is so huge. The whole day was just amazing. Really, really amazing."
Sal groaned. "You just had to get him started on the procreation issue, didn't you?"
"Yeah," Jimmy added. "Now he'll never shut up about vaginas and uteruses and fetuses, oh my!"
Ted snickered. "I don't know, buddy. I think it's great that you're going through with having a kid of your own, but they kind of have you pegged."
Lee rolled his eyes and took another long gulp from his glass before he bothered to respond. "I'm not that bad."
"Dude," Sal exclaimed, waving his hands, "last week you brought the week-by-week pregnancy book and tried to show us the diagrams. That shit is disgusting. If I wanted to know about the female reproductive system, then I would fuck women."
"Come on, guys." Lee looked as his friends and tried to will them to see things his way. "I admit I may go a little overboard sometimes, but this is a huge event for me. I'm going to be a dad. Can't you be just a little happy and supportive?" God knew he had supported them through one drama after another, from helping them get rid of manipulative boyfriends to lending a hand to retrieve toys lost in orifices Lee could've gone his entire life without exploring.
"Oh honey." Ted patted Lee's thigh. "I'm totally happy for you."
"So am I," Sal added. "I think it's great that you want to spit in the eye of convention and do your own thing."
Jimmy lifted his beer. "I support you too. I just don't necessarily want to hear all the gory details." He nodded, as if to cement his statement, then chugged back half a glass of beer.
"Hear, hear." Sal clinked glasses with Jimmy. Then both men turned their glasses up and drained the contents.
Lee shook his head and smiled in amusement. Some things never changed. If he didn't know better, he'd think they were still in their early twenties instead of verging on middle-aged. "Well, I'm starved. Who wants to split an order of hot wings and cheese fries?"
"That would work." Ted waved over the server. "I could use something to help soak up the alcohol."
Lee placed the order for what he wanted, remembering to ask for extra ranch dressing and the blue cheese Ted preferred. Sal and Jimmy ordered a second pitcher of light beer and a plate of nachos. While they waited for their appetizers to arrive, the men caught each other up on what was new in their lives.
Before the other men could get a word in edgewise, Jimmy launched into tale about how his latest trick left him.
"Can you believe Biff said that I was shallow? Me?" Jimmy's narrow and overly waxed blond brows rose to a comical level.
Lee snorted. "Personally, I can't believe you were sleeping with someone named Biff. Who would hate their kid enough to name them something so ridiculous?" In spite of himself, the sound of Jimmy's nasal voice shrieking "Oh Biff, harder, Biff" popped into Lee's mind and sent him into a round of totally inappropriate laughter that had all his friends staring at him like he was crazy.
He waved away their questioning looks. "It's nothing. Sorry. I was just thinking about something that happened earlier."
"Uh-huh." Sal wadded up his drink napkin and threw it at Lee. "If you've been smokin' the good stuff, the least you could've done is share with the rest of us."
"As if." Lee rolled his eyes. "I haven't touched anything of the sort."
"That's probably what's wrong with you," Sal replied. "You need to loosen up a little."
"Or get laid," Jimmy added. "When was the last time you sat on a big fat one?"
Ted groaned. "Could you be any more crude?"
"Thank you," Lee said. Some things just didn't need to be discussed in public.
Jimmy leaned forward. "Are you going to answer my question?"
Sal laughed. "Please do. I want to hear this."
"Fine. It's been a while. Is that what you wanted to know?"
"Yes." Jimmy nodded. "Just once I'd like to hear about you scoring some tail. I know you. You can't be happy all by your lonesome, with nothing to keep your bed warm except your hand and fantasies about your hunky neighbor."
"I have so much happening right now. I don't need the added drama of a boyfriend." He had a life plan, damn it, and he didn't need a man to help him make all his dreams a reality. A lover would be nice---he wouldn't lie about that---but he was satisfied on his own.
Jimmy chuckled. "Who said anything about a boyfriend?"
"I want to hear more about Mr. Hunky." Sal rolled his beer glass between his palms. "Just how good-looking are we talking here? And more importantly, is he gay?"
"Spare me." Lee shot Sal a dirty look. "The last time I checked, you're the only one of us with a steady lover. Besides, there's nothing to tell. He's just some guy who moved into the house next door a few months ago."
"Oh come on," Sal said. "You have to do better than that."
A spectacular lie was on the tip of Lee's tongue when the server arrived with their order and saved him from answering. Rather than give him any more hell, his buddies discarded the conversation in favor of tucking into the grub. Lee was thankful. He didn't need any more reminders of how much better his life would be if he had someone special to share it with.
Snow was coming down fast and furious as Lee pulled into his driveway. As if that wasn't bad enough, ice pellets were mixed in with the fluffy white mess. He was damn glad he didn't have to be anywhere the next day, because the roads were going to be a disaster.
Lee popped the trunk and got out of the car. He walked around to the rear to get his bag out and slipped on the slick asphalt. His right foot shot out from under him and threw him off balance. He pinwheeled his arms, desperately trying to restore his equilibrium.
Before his ass could hit the driveway, a strong hand wrapped around his bicep and squeezed. "Whoa there."
Lee craned around and found himself looking up into deep brown eyes set in a ruggedly handsome face. Literally the man of his dreams. His next-door neighbor---the hunky man he'd been fantasizing about for months---had a tight hold on his upper arm. "Oh, wow." Lee's face heated in spite of the cold. "I mean, thank you. That was a close call." He used his free arm to grab on to the trunk and steady himself.
"No problem."
Lee glanced down at the hand still wrapped around his arm and then up at the man it belonged to. "You can let go now."
"Right." His neighbor dropped his hand to his side. "Sorry about that."
"It's okay. Um, thanks again for helping me out."
"Sure. The ground's slippery as hell tonight. I almost fell ass over teakettle myself a time or two since I've been outside walking Rowdy."
Lee glanced down at the weird little dog dancing around his neighbor's big, booted feet. "Cute dog. What is it?"
"Rowdy's a Dorkie."
"Dorkie?"
"He's a dachshund, Yorkshire terrier mix."
"Oh, okay. I can see that a little bit." The dog kind of resembled a fuzzy brown and black wiener dog. Lee bent and offered his hand to the dog, then waited until the pup sniffed his hand and licked his approval before scratching the dog under its furry chin. "He's a friendly thing."
"Oh yeah. He likes people."
"I'm sorry. I think I lost my manners when I slipped." Lee stood, wiped his hand off on his pants, then held it out toward his neighbor. "I'm Lee Calder."
The man took Lee's hand, covering it with his larger paw, and gave a tight shake. "Finn Alexander." He released his grip on Lee and pointed at the brick ranch next door. "I live right there."
"Oh, I know." Heat crept up Lee's neck once more. "I mean, I've seen you around. I always meant to come over and welcome you to the neighborhood, but you know how it is... One thing after another kept popping up and then I'd forget all about it. I can be a little scatterbrained sometimes." Lee wanted to smack himself as soon as the words popped out of his mouth. Way to make a first impression, doofus...
"That's all right. I'm not exactly new. I grew up in that house, so I'm familiar with the neighborhood."
"Oh really? And you decided to move back and buy your childhood home?"
"Not exactly. My dad retired and wanted to move to Florida to be closer to my aunt. Unfortunately, he was never going to sell the house in this market. I bought it from him so he'd have a nice nest egg."
"That was sweet of you." Really sweet. Hadn't Mom always said that you can tell a man's character by the way he treats his parents?
"Not really." Finn shrugged. "I was wasting money on rent anyway."
A shiver trickled down Lee's spine. "Listen, it's not getting any warmer out here. Do you want to come in for a drink or something? It's the least I can do to thank you."
"Sure. Let me stash Rowdy over at my place and I'll come back over."
"Great." Lee smiled, pleased Finn had taken him up on the offer. "I'll be waiting."
He watched Finn cross the yard and jumped on the opportunity to check out the other man's fine ass beneath tight denim, then turned and entered his own house. When he'd bought the split-foyer home several years earlier, he'd divided it into spaces for home and work, remodeling the bottom floor into a suitable area for his physical therapy clients. There was even a separate side entrance, which was perfect for business. While he still worked at the hospital on occasion, he was lucky enough to have most of his patients come to his house these days. He figured being able to work from home would come in doubly handy once the baby arrived, although he'd still have to hire someone to sit with the infant while he was otherwise occupied.
He headed upstairs, anxious to have a look around before his neighbor came back. He didn't think anything was amiss, but he didn't want to take any chances. God only knew what he'd left lying about before he'd ran out of the house earlier that morning. He'd been in such a hurry to get on the road, it was hard to tell what he might have forgotten.
Upon reaching the upper landing, he took a right and entered the living room, casting a wild glanced around his sparse furnishings. A navy blue couch, matching recliner, and a free-standing big-screen TV were the bulk of his décor. Other than a couple of newspapers lingering on the edge of the sofa, everything looked fine.
After grabbing the papers, he turned and walked through the empty dining room and into the adjoining kitchen. He stuffed the paper into the trash can under the sink and spotted a dirty coffee cup sitting on the counter. The spoon he'd used to stir in copious amounts of sugar was lying beside it, with a light brown puddle beneath the shiny chrome utensil. Making haste, he scooped up both and hid them in the dishwasher just as the doorbell rang and announced the arrival of his guest.
Lee's excitement skyrocketed, while a bad case of nervousness kept his optimism in check. He didn't even know whether Finn was gay, so there was no reason to get his hopes up too high. Nevertheless, butterflies did the backstroke through Lee's stomach as he strode back down the stairs and pulled open the door.
Finn stood on the stoop, looking more delicious then any man had a right to. Snowflakes caught in his dark hair and glittered in reflection of the overhead light. For several heartbeats, all Lee could do was stand and stare, caught up in the moment. Finally his manners kicked in and reminded him how rude it was to gape at people---particularly handsome men who were freezing their nads off outside.
"Hi." Lee stepped aside to let Finn in. "Come on in."
Finn brushed a hand through his hair, knocking snow off the soft-looking tresses. "Thanks for inviting me."
"No problem." Lee started up the stairs ahead of Finn. His skin tingled with awareness of the man behind him. He thought Finn might be staring at his ass, although he didn't dare peek over his shoulder and check.
He wasn't lying, per se, when he'd told his friends he was too busy to get caught up in a romance. However, he damn sure wouldn't turn one away if it fell into his lap. There were still six weeks until the baby was born. In the meantime, no rule said he couldn't indulge in a fling. He didn't dare hope for more. There seemed to be some unwritten rule that stated he couldn't have everything. In the past, if his love life was going well, his career suffered, and vice versa. At the moment, his career was right on track and his dream of fatherhood was about to come true. God only knew what would happen if he dared to fall in love. The man would probably turn out to be a serial killer or something.
Lee led Finn into the kitchen. "I have beer, or I can start a pot of coffee if you'd prefer it."
"Beer's good. It's a little late for caffeine."
"Definitely." Lee would bounce off the walls all night if he drank coffee after eight. He plucked two longneck bottles out of the fridge and handed one to Finn. "Want to take these in the living room? I'm afraid I've never gotten around to buying a dining room table. It just seemed like a silly purchase when I usually end up eating in front of the television or going out for food."
"Thanks." Finn accepted the bottle with a smile, allowing their fingers to skim against each other a little longer than necessary. "I do the same thing. It seems somehow less solitary to eat alone if you're staring at the TV, doesn't it?"
"I never thought about it that way, but you're right. And all this time I just thought I was being lazy."
Finn laughed. "Lazy sounds better than single and pitiful."
"You have a point there." Lee directed Finn to the couch and sat down on the opposite end from his sexy neighbor. He took a sip of his beer while he regarded Finn. "So, tell me about yourself, Finn Alexander."
"What do you want to know?"
"Oh, absolutely everything." Lee wanted to know where Finn worked, whether or not he was gay, which way he dressed in the morning...and whether or not he's gay. The list went on and on.
"You're not asking for much, are you?" Finn lifted his beer and took a long swig.
"No, I don't think so. You don't have to share anything you don't want. I'll even go first." Lee's gaze was drawn to the long line of Finn's throat as the other man swallowed. He licked his suddenly dry lips. "I, um... I'm a physical therapist. I work through the community hospital and have a private office here at home."
"That's cool. I'm an auto mechanic."
"Really? I wish I knew how to work on cars. I'm lucky to change my own oil. Maybe the next time I'm in need, I can throw some business your way. Where do you work?"
"Hot Rods, in town."
"That's so great. I drive right by that place on my way to the hospital. I always drool over the classic muscle cars in the showroom window."
"Thanks. The shop's my baby." Finn's shoulders hunched and he actually seemed to draw in on himself as a hint of dusky pink crept up his neck.
The blushing was adorable. It was obvious Finn wasn't used to compliments. However, the mention of the word baby gave Lee some pause. Should he mention Dawn and the baby?
Most of the men he knew didn't want to hear about the ins and outs of reproduction unless it was for recreation. Plus, procreation didn't seem like a safe, neutral topic for small talk. He decided to keep his mouth shut for the time being. It wasn't as if he was ashamed of his soon-to-be baby boy or girl, but he didn't want to scare Finn off. After all, the man was his neighbor. It would be nice if they could be friends of a sort. His reluctance to share certainly wasn't because he wanted to get into Finn's pants.
"So." Lee sat back against the cushions with his beer in hand. "What's your favorite classic car? There was this candy apple red Mustang in the window of your shop a while back. I loved that car. I was actually thinking about stopping to take it for a test drive, but it disappeared before I could. I guess you guys sold it, huh?"
"You must be talking about the '65 fastback. She was a real beauty. I restored her myself. Anyway, we sold her a couple of weeks ago."
"If you don't mind my asking, what does a car like that go for?"
"Ours went for a little over fifty thousand."
Ouch. Lee whistled. "Wow. Maybe it's a good thing I didn't come by and take it for a spin. I do all right, but that's a little out of my price range." Not to mention how badly a sports car would fit into his lifestyle once he brought the baby home.
"I don't blame you. I can't see paying that for a vehicle myself, but then I can buy clunkers and fix them up. There are a lot of other people out there who are more than happy to pay that or more for something they want. Thank goodness there are, or I'd be out of a job."
Lee thought of all the money he'd spent so far on surrogacy and the bills that were still rolling in on a monthly basis. "I can certainly understand wanting something so bad you'll pay whatever is needed to get it."
"Definitely." Finn nodded and sipped his beer. "Listen... Thanks for the beer, but I should get going."
Lee glanced down at his watch and hopped up. "I guess it is getting a little late, isn't it?"
"Unfortunately." Finn rose to his feet. "I hate to leave so fast, but I have to be up with the roosters unless I want Rowdy to make a mess all over the floor. I haven't had him for very long, so I'm still working on housebreaking him."
Lee wrinkled his nose. "That must be fun."
Finn chuckled, his laughter deep and genuine. "Oh, you bet. You don't know fun until you have a puppy treating your floor like a latrine."
Lee walked Finn to the door and opened it. Before he could second-guess himself, he jumped on the opportunity to extend their association. "Maybe we can get together for a drink or something and pick this back up later?"
"Yeah. I'd like that." Finn looked at Lee for one long, pregnant moment. His gaze dropped to Lee's mouth for an instant, then returned to meet Lee's wide-eyed stare. "I'll be in touch."
"Okay." Lee watched Finn walk away until the temperature drop became too much for him. He closed the door and leaned back against it with a sigh. For just one second, he could have sworn Finn was going to kiss him.
What I wouldn't give for that mouth to touch me anywhere, everywhere...
After a good laugh at his wishful thinking, Lee adjourned upstairs. He pitched the beer bottles, cleaned up a little, and retired to his bedroom. It'd been a long-ass day and he was exhausted. Driving long distances always made him tired, and that was before spending the evening with the boys and running into Mr. Hunky.
With a groan, Lee fell back on his bed. "I'm really going to have to quit thinking of Finn as Mr. Hunky." And possibly quit talking to myself like some psycho. It would be his bad luck to blurt that out at the wrong time instead of the man's name.
He still didn't know if Finn was bent, but a boy could hope. There definitely seemed to be some chemistry there---at least on his end. Finn didn't seem to be very talkative, but that was okay. Small talk was overrated.
Lee pulled his shirt off over his head and dropped it to the floor behind the bed. His pants went next, flying off the opposite side of the mattress. With only his boxers and socks remaining, he skimmed his hand down the center of his chest and slid it beneath the waistband of his underpants. Closing his eyes, Lee took hold of his rapidly firming cock and pictured his hunky neighbor.
\*
Upon returning home, Finn helped himself to another beer and parked his ass in front of the television set. Rowdy hopped up onto the couch and curled up beside him, half asleep before he'd even finished settling down. Finn flipped through channel after channel, his mind anywhere but on the rapidly changing pictures on the screen.
He wasn't sure what possessed him to accept his neighbor's offer of a nightcap, but he wasn't sorry he had accepted. He'd been curious about the man since he'd caught a glimpse of the tall blond washing a car in nothing more than a tiny pair of cutoff shorts the previous summer when he'd come by to visit his father. At the time, he hadn't done more than appreciate the scenery because he'd just came out of a nasty split with Pete. Now he was free, and the good-looking man next door appeared to be as well.
Judging by Lee's friendly manner, Finn was fairly certain the attraction he felt wasn't one-sided. With a little gentle persuasion, he could have Lee in his bed, maybe more if they really hit it off. The only question was whether or not he actually wanted to open himself to the kind of vulnerability that came with starting a new relationship. After the disaster with Pete, Finn wasn't sure if he could trust anyone.
On the other hand, it had been way too long since he went out on date, and Lee seemed nice, not to mention hot. Although Finn didn't consider himself shallow, there wouldn't be any point in pursuing the other man if there wasn't any attraction brewing between them. Luckily, that wasn't an issue.
His fingers had itched to reach out for Lee the entire time he'd been next door. It had taken every fiber of control he possessed to keep him from grabbing the slender man and slamming his lips down over Lee's when the sexy man smiled at him. Only God knew what would have happened if he'd acted on the impulse.
Sadly, he fully expected that one little thought to keep him up nights until he figured out the answer.
The persistent warble of the telephone dragged Lee from a peaceful sleep. Rather than dare to open his eyes and risk blindness from the light he could feel spilling through the blinds, he swatted the nightstand by his bed until his fingers landed on the phone. Lifting the offending object with fingers weakened by sleep, Lee clicked the On button and pressed the phone to the ear not wedged into the pillow beneath his head. "'Lo."
The ringing persisted while the dial tone buzzed in Lee's ear. With a curse, Lee flipped his cell phone closed and opened his eyes. The alarm clock claimed it was a few minutes after eight a.m. Too early for a Saturday morning when he had nothing better to do than sleep in until noon.
With a curse, he rolled out of bed and stumbled to the front door. Whoever was ringing the bell was going to die a slow and painful death. All his friends knew better than to wake him up early unless it was an emergency. He wasn't a morning person on the best of days, but he needed all the sleep he could get right now because he certainly wasn't going to get more than a wink or two after he brought the baby home.
Lee tugged open the door and immediately slammed his eyelids shut. The bright light set off an explosion behind his eyes, reminding him that he'd forgotten to drink some water before going to bed. It didn't take much to give him a hangover. Fortunately, this one seemed slight.
"Ah, peekaboo."
In response to the deep baritone of his visitor, Lee cracked open one eye. Instant mortification clouded his mind and made him want to crawl under a rock.
Finn's gaze lowered, no doubt looking Lee over, and then returned to Lee's face. "Judging by the bed head and Scooby boxers---nice, by the way---I take it I woke you up?"
Heat crawled up Lee's neck and stained his face. "Um, yeah."
"Sorry about that." The grin on Finn's face said the exact opposite. "I just thought I'd stop by and invite you to lunch."
"Huh?"
"Lunch. You know, it's the meal between breakfast and dinner."
"I know that. You do realize it's eight o'clock in the morning, right? It's not exactly lunchtime."
"Of course. I thought I'd be nice and ask ahead of time before I head in to work."
"Oh. Okay." Lee was surprised the man wanted anything to do with him since he'd seen him at his worst. Wait. If Finn was asking him out, then that had to mean he was gay, right? Unless it was a friend thing. "I, um..." He licked his dry lips and grimaced. His mouth tasted like something had crawled in there and died while he was asleep. "Forgive me for asking, but is this supposed to be a date? I don't want to presume anything, you understand, but I'm gay, and if you're not, then I should probably know that now." God, he was babbling like a moron. Someone needed to slap him or something.
"Well..." Finn grinned. "It was just going to be a friendly lunch, but now that I've seen you in those sexy boxers, I think I've changed my mind."
"Very funny." Lee's pulse sped at the knowledge that Finn swung his way. He didn't know what would come from spending the afternoon together, but he was hopeful. "So, a lunch date, then? Do you want me to meet you somewhere?"
"Yeah. If you could meet me at Hot Rods about one, we should be good to go. I just need to go in for a little while this morning and then I'll blow off the rest of the day."
"All right."
"Great. I have to scoot, but I'll see you in a few hours."
"I'm looking forward to it." Lee stood in the open doorway and stared as Finn trotted down the stairs and disappeared around the side of the house. Once Finn was out of sight, Lee closed the door and backed up against it, releasing a deep breath he hadn't even realized he'd been holding. His parting words replayed in his mind.
Could I have sounded any dumber?
\*
Panic didn't set in until shortly before noon. He didn't know what he was doing. Sure, he liked the look of Finn and what little he knew about the other man so far. However, he didn't have the time or energy to get involved with anyone right now. Especially his hot neighbor. If things went bad, they would be stuck seeing each other all the time. There would be tension and dirty looks and who knew what else. Maybe I should call and cancel. Except I don't have Finn's number.
Even as the thought crossed his mind, he knew it was a cop-out. He could get the number for Hot Rods if he really wanted to. He didn't. He wanted to go out with Finn and get to know the man better. He liked Finn. What he didn't care for was the insecurity steadily building inside him. His last date was so long in the past he didn't know what the hell he was doing. Butterflies danced in his stomach.
He took another look in the wide mirror over his dresser and second thought his outfit. Were jeans and a T-shirt too casual? He had no idea where Finn wanted to go for lunch. The jeans were his favorite---they were worn soft, threadbare in all the right places, and snug enough to mold to his body like a glove. The shirt was the same steel blue as his eyes and fitted to show off the firm pecs and biceps he worked so hard to develop. His short blond hair was artfully messy and his face was stubble free. Although he couldn't be sure, he thought maybe he looked like he was trying too hard.
It'll have to do.
Lee dropped down on the foot the bed before he changed his mind and put on something else. Good or bad, this was him. Finn would either like him or not. There was no sense in presenting some false image he couldn't maintain.
Spying his cell phone lying on the dresser, Lee leaned forward and grabbed it. If there was ever a time to ask for some friendly advice, this was it. He punched in Jimmy's number and listened to the phone ring while tapping out his impatience on the inside of his thigh. Come on, come on. Answer the phone.
"Hello."
Lee didn't bother with pleasantries. He knew Jimmy was compulsive about checking the caller ID before he answered the phone. "You are never going to believe this, but I have a date."
"What? When the hell did this happen? I just saw you last night."
"I know." Lee quickly filled Jimmy in on the night before and waking to find Finn on his doorstep. "This is crazy, isn't it? The last thing I need is to get involved with anyone right now."
"Hold on now. Don't be such a drama queen. The man asked you to lunch. He didn't get down on one knee and ask for your hand in marriage."
"True." Lee exhaled. "But what if it becomes something more than lunch?"
"Like what? You think the guy is going to molest you under the table or something? If you ask me, a little stress release is just what you need."
"No, that is not what I think. I can't help but wonder if this is a mistake, though. I mean, he's my neighbor. What if things go horribly wrong and we hate each other? Then I'll be stuck running into him all the time."
"Maybe. But what if things are perfect and he turns out to be Mr. Right?"
"That comes with its own set of problems." And he didn't even want to think about that right now.
"You need to take a nice deep breath and calm the fuck down. Just relax, go to lunch, and have some fun. There is more to life than work and surfing the internet for weird little yellow baby crap to decorate your spare room."
"Purple."
"Huh."
"I decided to go with purple for the nursery instead of yellow. Purple can be gender neutral too."
"Whatever. Listen, no matter what else you do, do not start babbling about babies. No man, especially a gay man, wants to hear about that shit."
"Excuse me, I'm a gay man and I like kids."
"You're in the minority."
Lee huffed. "That's not fair. Just because you're only interested in dick doesn't mean everyone else is."
"Do you or do you not want to get into this man's pants?"
"Well, yeah, but---"
"But nothing. Steer clear of subjects that are too deep. Save that shit for later on, well after you've figured out whether or not there can ever be anything more than latex between you. Otherwise, you're never going to get to the sex in the first place. Baby mamas and shitty diapers are not an aphrodisiac."
"All right. Maybe you have a point." That didn't mean he had to like it, though. Lee sighed into the receiver. "I have to go. Talk to you later?"
"You better. I want to hear all the juicy details."
"You wish." With a laugh, Lee hung up the phone.
\*
Lee hadn't been sure what to expect during the impromptu date with Finn. A short walk to Deb's Diner and the small talk that followed was surprisingly comfortable. Even the lapses in conversation as they ate were easy, rather than the awkward silence he would normally expect during a first outing with someone new. Finn's intense perusal while Lee sucked his straw answered the sexuality question better than any words could.
On the way back, he glanced at the slightly shorter man walking beside him and decided to throw caution to the wind. "Do you have plans this evening? We could hang out and do something, if you want..."
"Yeah, I have something to do, actually."
"Oh." Lee's optimism plummeted into the pit of his stomach. Maybe the heady chemistry he felt was all one-sided after all.
"I was hoping we could go for a drive."
"Oh." Maybe things weren't so one-sided after all. "Okay. Where do you want to drive to?"
"Nowhere in particular. I just thought you might enjoy taking one of the cars out for a spin."
Cars? "You mean one the cars at Hot Rods? Are you allowed to do that?"
"Of course." Pink stained Finn's cheeks. "I own them."
"Wait." Lee glanced at Finn. "I thought you said you're a mechanic."
Finn's forehead wrinkled. "I am, but I also own the shop."
"That's cool." Lee was more impressed than he was willing to admit. He'd hate to see Finn's net worth. It would no doubt make him pea green with envy. "Which car did you have in mind for this afternoon?"
"I thought we might use the Camaro. I have a real beauty in the shop. She's a '69 Z28 coupe. Top speed is one hundred and twenty---not that we're going to push it today, mind you." Finn grinned. "Even if it is damn tempting."
Lee hated to ask, but... "Um, which car was that?"
"The Camaro is canary yellow, with the black racing stripes. You can't miss it."
"Oh. Cool. Can I take a turn behind the wheel or are you just being a car-tease?"
"I don't know. Can you be trusted?"
"Maybe."
"Well, at least you're honest."
"Mm-hmm. That's me." Honest to a fault and boring as the day is long, according to my last two boyfriends. The jerks.
With a laugh, Finn reached out and grabbed Lee's hand, winding their fingers together. "This okay?"
"Yeah, sure." Lee glanced down at their adjoined hands and wondered how long it had been since someone had done something as simple as hold his hand in public. He found it incredibly sweet, much like the man himself.
Their hands swung between them until they reached Hot Rods. Finn released Lee and pulled out his keys, unlocking the door. Lee stood back and waited, anticipation building inside him. As much as he'd liked lunch, he was really looking forward to the upcoming drive and being alone with Finn.
Finn led Lee through the showroom, beyond awesome-looking cars Lee couldn't identify, as well as a classic Porsche and a newer-model Dodge Viper. Finn stopped at a door toward the back of the showroom. He swung it open and motioned Lee to go in ahead of him. "The Camaro's in the back."
Lee spotted the car as soon as he entered the garage. It sat off the one side of the room, facing the exit. Finn was right about not being able to miss the bright yellow muscle car. It stood out like a beacon among the plethora of equipment and the bits and pieces of other vehicles currently being worked on. Some sort of vehicle---Lee had no idea what kind---was levitating aboveground on a machine, just hanging there waiting for someone to come finish it.
He walked over to the Camaro and circled around it, looking it over. He liked the black racing stripes that were painted over the hood and extended up over the roof to the back of the car. "Very nice."
"Thanks." Finn opened the garage door, then joined Lee by the vehicle. He caressed the hood like it was made of gold. "I rebuilt the engine in this one myself and did a little of the body work. She's equipped with a three-hundred-and-two-cubic-inch V8 engine, with three hundred and fifty horsepower. She has dual exhausts, special front and rear suspension, positraction on the real axle, and fifteen-by-seven-inch rally wheels."
Lee could feel his eyes glazing over. Finn might as well have been speaking in a foreign language.
"I'm sorry," Finn said. "I must be boring you."
Lee snapped to attention. "No, not all. It's fascinating stuff."
"Uh-huh. It's okay. I can get carried away talking about my babies. When this one was brought in, it was a real mess." Finn shook his head sadly. "She was a lot of work but fun to restore. Let's get in and take her for a spin. I'll drive us out and then you can have a turn behind the wheel on the way back, okay?"
Hell yeah. Finn wasn't going to have to ask him twice. Lee had never driven a sports car before. "Sweet. I promise I'll be careful." He skirted around the front of the car, opened the passenger side door, and glanced at Finn over the roof. "I won't even break any speed limits."
"You better not." Finn winked and then ducked to get in the car.
Lee slid into the passenger-side bucket seat and closed the door behind him, careful not to slam it. The smell of leather infiltrated his nostrils and made him smile. "New seats?"
"I had them reupholstered. Why?"
"It has that new-car smell." Lee glanced at the black matte dashboard. Then his gaze fell on the console between the seats and the gear shift. "Well, crap."
"What's wrong?"
"It's a straight drive."
"Right. A four-speed."
"I won't be able to drive back. The only thing I can operate is an automatic. I never learned how to work a stick."
"Oh." Finn's brow furrowed. "This definitely isn't the car to learn on, but if you want, I could teach you using my truck sometime. It's simple once you get the hang of the clutch and shifting the gears."
"I---" Did he really want Finn to see him being inept? Definitely not. On the other hand, it would give them something to do together, and Lee wanted to get to know Finn a little better. "All right. I'd like that."
"Great. We can worry about making plans later. For now, let's get this baby out on the open road." Finn turned the single key hanging from the ignition. The car started up with a loud, rumbling purr.
"The car sounds awesome."
"Wait until you hear her out on the open road. You ready?"
"Definitely." Lee reached back for his seat belt. He pulled it around him and realized there was no lap belt attached. "Um, Finn... I think something's missing here."
"Huh?" Finn's forehead wrinkled. "Oh. No, nothing's missing. The belts are just separate." He leaned over Lee, reached into the space between the passenger seat and the door, and pulled out a second belt. "This model came with a shoulder harness and a lap belt. That's why there are two buckles."
"I see." Lee felt like a moron. He hadn't needed someone to fasten his seat belt since before puberty hit.
Finn clicked the latch into place and glanced up at Lee. They were so close Lee could count Finn's long, black eyelashes and savor the spicy scent of the other man's cologne. Lee's gaze lowered to Finn's mouth and the trimmed black hair surrounding it. Lee had never kissed someone with a mustache and goatee. Lee self-consciously licked his own dry lips, wondering what it would feel like.
Finn caught Lee's gaze and held it. "Can I, um..."
"Please." Instead of waiting, Lee moved forward the scant inches between them and slanted his mouth over Finn's. The restraints around his waist and chest made the movement awkward, but he wasn't about to let a little thing like a seat belt stop him from kissing with the man he'd been daydreaming about for months.
Finn's lips were as soft as they looked; the hair surrounding them was hardly noticeable compared to the heat of Finn's firm mouth brushing against Lee's. The tender, sensuous caress was delicious but little more than a tease. It wasn't nearly enough for Lee. He flicked his tongue over the plump flesh of Finn's bottom lip. Finn exhaled, his breath warm and moist on Lee's face. Their tongues touched and tangled, sliding over and around each other. A hint of the coffee Finn had with lunch lingered in his mouth, sweetening the kiss.
Lee groaned and tilted his head a little to the side. He gripped one of Finn's big biceps to anchor himself to reality, kneading the firm muscle. There was nothing better than a man who took good care of his body. Finn appeared to excel at it. From what Lee could tell, Finn was built like a brick shithouse. What he wouldn't give to explore all the dips and bulges of Finn's body, both with his hands and tongue.
Blood surged south, making Lee yearn for more than Finn's lips. His pants were becoming increasingly uncomfortable, but not enough to make him stop.
Long before Lee was ready, Finn eased away and stared into Lee's eyes. "I've wanted to do that since this morning."
"It was the boxers that sealed the deal, wasn't it?"
Finn laughed. "Definitely. I've always had a thing for cartoon dogs."
Finn was having a ball teasing his date. Lee had a great smile and an even better laugh. Finn could listen to it all day.
As they made their way down Main Street, Lee spoke up. "Where are we going, anyway?"
"I thought we'd take the car out on the bypass, where we can go a little faster and really open her up."
"That sounds kind of kinky, Finn. I didn't know you swung that way."
"Huh?" Finn glanced at Lee. "Oh. I get it. The 'she' references, right?" Finn chuckled. "Very funny."
"I thought so."
"I haven't been with a woman since high school." Finn's hand caressed the ball atop the gearshift. "What about you? Are you gay or bi?"
"Gay. I never tried to fool myself into believing I was anything else."
"That's because you're a smart guy. I've always been attracted brains over brawn." There was nothing hotter than an intelligent man wrapped in a sexy package.
"Hey now," Lee teased. "Is that a nice way of calling me a skinny dweeb?"
"What? No way." A smile tugged at Finn's lips. "Although, if the shoe fits..."
Lee laughed. "Asshole."
"Mm-hmm. I've always been partial to assholes."
Lee groaned. "Oh, that was horrible."
"I know. I couldn't help myself." There was just something about Lee that brought out Finn's inner devil.
"Maybe you could try a little harder."
If not for Lee's light tone, Finn might have been concerned his teasing was bothering Lee. "Nah, what fun would that be?"
"Probably not much."
Finn risked glancing over as he maneuvered the car onto the bypass leading outside of town. "So... You know about my business. Tell me a little about yours. How'd you get into doing physical therapy?"
"Well, I always knew I wanted to go into the medical profession. When I started college, I had grand delusions of being a doctor. However, I quickly discovered I didn't have the aptitude for it. I'm better suited for physio. I get to spend more time with my patients, make a difference in their lives, and still manage to have a life of my own."
"Sounds like you have the best of both worlds."
"I like it, although I wouldn't sneeze at making a doctor's salary."
"I bet." Finn laughed, thinking that he probably made more than some doctors. He didn't know what a physical therapist made a year, but Lee seemed to be doing all right without the extra bank. He had a nice house and a dependable vehicle, even if the Volvo was a little on the boring side.
Once Finn passed the sign declaring they were leaving Montgomery County, he laid into the gas and sped things up. Police officers were sparse in this area, so he didn't have any compunction about leaving the suggested speed limit in the dust. If he did get a ticket... Well, it wouldn't be the first time.
Lee whistled. "Wow. This car gets loud, huh?"
"She sure does." Was there any sound better than a loud, rumbling engine?
"How fast are we going?"
Finn glanced at the speedometer. "We're only doing about eighty." That was a fast as he dared push things while they were in a sixty-five-mile-an-hour zone. He could live with a speeding ticket, but he didn't want to risk being charged with reckless driving. Any more than twenty miles over the limit was a no-no. If not for the roads being liberally salted and cleared of the icy mixture from the night before, Finn wouldn't have brought his latest accomplishment out on the road at all.
"It feels like we're flying."
"Great, isn't it?" Adrenaline spiked through Finn and stiffened his prick to half-mast. He cast a sidelong glance at Lee and wondered if his date was in a similar condition. If he were a little more brave---or reckless, depending on how someone wanted to look at it---he'd reach across the console between them and find out for himself. Instead, he kept his hands to himself and enjoyed the rest of the ride and his company.
All too soon, Finn returned to Hot Rods. He slowly pulled into the garage and shut down the car. After unlatching his seat belt, Finn turned and perused Lee. "Well, what'd you think about your first ride in a muscle car?"
"I feel like I have a perma-grin." Lee unbuckled himself and faced Finn. "Next time, I want to drive, though."
"You learn how to handle a stick and I'll give you whatever you want." Finn figured Lee could take that comment however he wanted. Either way was just fine with him.
The smile slid off Lee's handsome face. He sucked in a deep breath. "Is that a proposition?"
"Could be." Surrounded by the smell of leather and vinyl, Finn couldn't pull his gaze away from Lee. Tension mounted. With his artfully messy blond hair and big blue eyes, Lee looked like an angel waiting to be ravished. The razor-sharp cheekbones and square jaw added to Lee's masculinity and kept him from being too pretty. In Finn's eyes, Lee was perfect.
An image of Lee in his boxers that morning floated through Finn's mind. He liked what he saw, but his body burned to see the rest. "What are you doing for the rest of the day? You want to come back to my place and hang out...or something?"
"Sure." Lee nodded, his lean cheeks flushed pink. "Let's get out of here."
\*
While waiting on Lee to park next door and cross the lawn, Finn let Rowdy outside to roam around the fenced-in backyard. He was on his way back to the front door when the doorbell echoed through the house.
He barely let Lee in the front door before his patience snapped like a dry twig under a rolling boulder. He crowded Lee against the closed door, placing his palms flat against the cool wooden surface on either side of Lee's shoulders, and slid his lips over Lee's in what he hoped was a soft, beguiling kiss. He had a feeling he was coming on a little too strong, but there was nothing he could do about it. There was just something about Lee Calder that pushed all of Finn's buttons and made him act like a goofy, hormone-driven teenager. It was a problem, but not one he cared to solve right that minute. Instead, he wanted to go with the flow and see what happened.
Before he could let go and enjoy himself completely, he needed to make sure Lee was in the same mindset. Unwilling to move far, Finn inched his lips back far enough to speak. "Is this okay?"
"Mm-hmm," Lee murmured. "Don't stop." He wrapped his hand around the back of Finn's neck and pulled until Finn's mouth was engaged in more pleasurable pursuits than chatting.
If that was the way Lee wanted to play, Finn was all for it. Talk was cheap anyway.
Finn stabbed his tongue through the velvety clasp of Lee's lips and explored the recesses beyond. He was met with equal force, Lee doing his best to do a little sight-seeing of his own within Finn's mouth. Finn relished the turnabout and upped the ante by dropping his hands into Lee's groin. He cupped Lee's balls, then palmed the hard length of Lee's prick through the thin denim.
Lee moaned into Finn's mouth and disengaged their lips. "Bedroom?"
"Yeah." Finn ran his lips down Lee's throat, kissing and licking over the corded muscle. "Soon."
Lee reached between them and squeezed Finn's cock through his work pants. "Now."
"Okay." With reluctance, Finn took a step back. "Come on."
He led Lee to the right, through the living room, down the hallway, and into the final door on the left. Afternoon sunlight spilled in through the blinds and created a gauzy illumination around the huge four-poster bed.
Finn spared a glance around the simple room to make sure there were no dirty underwear or equally nasty surprises waiting to prove what a slob he was and then got down to stripping off his clothes. He wasted no time kicking off his sneakers, discarding his shirt and work pants, and leaving the entire bundle on the floor where they fell.
Lee stared, frozen as a statue. "You're gorgeous."
"Thanks." Finn strode up to Lee, cupped the man's jaw in his hands, and kissed him softly. "Want to show me what you're working with? This'll be a lot more fun if we're both naked."
"Yeah." Lee glanced down Finn's body. "Hell yeah."
"I was hoping you'd say that." His sense of eagerness rising, Finn backed up until the backs of his knees butted into the bed's footboard. He sat down, prepared to enjoy the view.
The T-shirt went first, revealing a slim torso, toned in all the right places without being bulky. His pecs were delineated and topped by small tan nipples already hard in anticipation of what was to come. There wasn't a six-pack, but his abs were flat and firm. South of Lee's navel, a golden brown trail of hair extended downward and disappeared beneath Lee's waistband.
Finn wanted to lick it.
He raised his gaze to meet Lee's. "Nice."
Lee's fingers stalled on the button of his jeans. "I'm glad you like what you see."
"I do." Finn ran his tongue over his bottom lip. "Show me the rest."
"Your wish is my command." Lee popped open the button and slid down the zipper.
Finn caught a hint of the bright blue underwear hiding below. "I like the sound of that."
"I'm sure you do." Lee chuckled as he shoved his jeans down his thighs. "Don't get too excited, though. We'll have to save playing master and slave for another day."
"Aw shucks," Finn teased. "I had my heart set on bossing you around."
"That's too bad." Lee shucked his bikini briefs and came toward Finn, his erection hard and swinging. He pushed Finn onto his back and crawled on top of him. "Because I'd much rather be in charge today."
"By all means"---Finn gazed up at Lee, his blood heating at the feel of Lee's weight atop him---"have your wicked way with me."
Lee bent and kissed Finn like a man possessed. Finn's body responded with ardor, his blood heating and pumping south. He bent his knees and placed his feet flat on the bed for traction. Digging his toes into the downy comforter, he grabbed Lee's hips and shoved up against him, seeking more contact, more friction, more everything.
There was so much he wanted to do---fuck and suck and lick every single inch of Lee's sexy body---but there wasn't time for anything elaborate. Not when every cell inside him vibrated with the need to come.
The rhythmic grinding went back and forth. Finn pushed up and Lee thrust down, the two of them rubbing their cocks together between their sweating, straining torsos.
Lee balls pressed down against Finn's, adding more pressure and further pleasure. Lee's cockhead dragged over Finn's shaft, leaking all over his stiff and aching flesh.
Finn wrapped his arms around Lee, ran his palms down Lee's back, and grabbed two handfuls of ass. He manhandled Lee's backside, relishing the flex and play of smooth skin and firm muscles moving beneath his fingers.
Lee tore his mouth away from Finn's and ran his lips down Finn's neck. "So good."
"Yeah," Finn panted, beyond the capability of forming complete sentences. Humid breath wafted over his throat. A slick tongue lapped at his skin. The sensuous glide of Lee's cock brushing over and against his was steadily driving him insane. The full-frontal contact wasn't enough. He needed more, but he didn't want to release Lee's ass or stop long enough to move.
Either Lee sensed Finn's desire or yearned for additional friction too, because he wiggled his right hand down between them and wrapped his fingers around both of their pricks, holding them in a punishing grip that was just short of being too tight.
The extra bite of sensation was just what the doctor ordered. He came with a shout.
Lee moaned long and low and added his own wet heat to the slippery mix coating their skin. With a sigh, he rolled off Finn and onto his back. He folded his arms behind his head and stared up at the ceiling. "I think my brains are scrambled."
"Is that a compliment or a complaint?" Finn laughed and sat up, gazing down at Lee. The sight of his sexy body all stretched out across the bed renewed Finn's desire better than a dose of Viagra.
"Definitely a compliment." Lee stretched and yawned. "After coming like that, all I want to do is take a nap."
"I need something to drink." Finn sat up and threw his legs over the side of the bed. "Do you want anything? I made a big pitcher of sweet tea last night."
"Sounds good. I, um..." Lee ran his fingers through the copious amount of spunk covering his lower abdomen. "On second thought, I should use the bathroom before any napping happens. I'm a mess."
"Yeah, me too. I'll even be nice and let you go first."
"Oooh, generous." Lee rose to his feet. "Where's it at?"
"The bathroom is across the hall and to the right. The door should be open and there are washcloths under the sink. Just pitch whatever you use in the hamper by the door after you're through."
"Thanks." Naked, Lee padded out of the room to take care of business.
Finn sat on the edge of the bed and watched him go, enjoying the view. Upon Lee's return, Finn took his turn cleaning up and relieved his bladder.
While Lee settled in bed, Finn headed into the kitchen to grab two tall glasses of iced tea. On the way there and back, he looked around his house with new eyes, trying to see things as Lee had undoubtedly viewed them upon arriving. Most of the furnishings were the same ones he'd grown up around. His father had left behind the living room and dining room sets, not wanting to deal with hauling them all to Florida, and Finn hadn't seen a need to replace perfectly good items, even if they weren't exactly to his tastes. He'd purchased navy slipcovers for the oversized sofa and loveseat to hide the ugly mauve color and left everything else the same. He didn't mind the frilly sheer curtains or the dark-stained wood, but he drew the line at being surrounded by pink.
The only big things Finn had moved in with him were his flat-screen television and his bedroom suite. The very thought of crawling into his parents' old bed gave him the heebie-jeebies. He couldn't give up his California king bed anyway. As much as he tossed and turned, he needed the extra space.
Finn had never been more in love with his bed than he was when he reentered the bedroom and discovered Lee still naked and sprawled out across the navy comforter. His skin looked burnished gold next the dark material.
"Hey." Lee sat up against the headboard. "Is one of those for me?"
"Of course." Finn handed Lee his drink, set his own in the nightstand, and then crawled back into bed with Lee.
Lee sipped the tea. "Thanks. I was parched."
"Me too. Funny how good sex will do that to a man."
"Isn't it?" Lee grinned. "I haven't seen your pup. Where's he hiding?"
"Rowdy's outside. I let him out before you came over."
"Oh." Lee set his glass on the opposite nightstand. "Isn't it a little too chilly to leave him out there?"
"He's fine. Believe me, when he wants in, he'll let us know. For such a little guy, he's got one hell of a bark." Finn scooted down on the bed and rolled onto his side facing Lee. "So, when you're not going for rides with strangers, what do you usually do on the weekends?"
"Honestly? Not a lot." Lee stretched out. "I'm kind of boring."
"I don't believe that for a second."
"Sad but true." Lee trailed his fingers down the outside of Finn's arm. "Most of time I just hang around the house and relax or try to finish up all the chores I've neglected during the week. What about you? Do you always work on Saturdays?"
"Sometimes." Finn shivered under Lee's touch. "It depends on what needs to be done at the shop. If I'm not careful, I can spend too much time in the garage and get behind on paperwork. Lately I've been spending my free time working on an old bike I bought at auction."
"You ride? I've always wanted a motorcycle."
"What's stopping you from getting one?"
"I don't know. Buying a bike seems like a wild extravagance I can live without."
"Sounds like you have a thrifty soul."
"Is that a nice way of calling me cheap?"
"No." Finn smiled. "Not at all. There's isn't anything wrong with being tight with your money as long as your ass doesn't squeak when you walk."
Lee laughed. "I'm not quite that bad. Yet."
"Well, good. That gives me something to look forward to, then. You will let me walk behind you after you start squeaking, right? I think that'll be entertaining." Finn wrapped his arm around Lee and cupped one firm cheek. Just using the words tight and ass in the same sentence made him yearn to sink into Lee's body and discover just how snug the bottom in question would hug his dick.
Lee leaned forward and ran his lips over Finn's jaw. With his mouth only millimeters away from Finn's ear, Lee whispered, "That depends on what you're willing to do for me."
Finn's cock gave a twitch of renewed interest. "I'm sure I can think of some way to sway you over to my way of thinking."
"Think so, do you?"
"Absolutely. You might be surprised how persuasive my mouth can be."
"Mm-hmm..." Lee pressed his lips against Finn's and then quickly retreated. "Why do I get the feeling you aren't talking about negotiating?"
"Because you're a very smart man." Finn placed his hand on the center of Lee's chest and pressed him down onto his back. He kissed his way down Lee's chest, stopping just above Lee's belly button. "Why don't I give you a demonstration?"
"Oh yes." Lee folded his arms beneath his head and stared down at Finn through languorous, heat-filled eyes. "Please do."
The next morning, Finn was lost in rebuilding the engine on his 1965 Harley-Davidson panhead, elbow-deep in grease and loving it, when Rowdy went wild. The little crossbreed started barking like mad and took off through the garage door and back into the house.
Puzzled, Finn wiped his hands off as best he could on a stained rag and got up, following Rowdy inside. Rowdy was jumping up and down in front of the sliding glass door leading out into the backyard. One glance made the reason for his pup's distress apparent.
Finn frowned at his ex-boyfriend. "What are you doing here, Pete?"
Pete smiled, although the expression didn't reach his eyes. If anything, the expression brought attention to the bags under Pete's jade green eyes. "Can't I stop by to visit a friend?"
"Friends aren't afraid to use the front door."
A bright flush crawled up Pete's neck and stained his cheeks a deeper red than his carroty hair. "You know why I came around the back."
"I do. It's the same reason you shouldn't be here at all." Old wounds cracked open and bled anew. "Go home to your wife."
"Finn..." Pete's voice took on the pleading tone that used to make Finn cave in and relent every single time it was employed. "Don't be like this. All I want to do is talk. I miss you."
Finn missed Pete too, but it would be a cold day in hell before he said so. One minor show of weakness, and Pete would weasel his way right back into Finn's life and his heart. He couldn't allow that to happen. "We've already been over this time and again. It's not up for discussion. You made your choice when you left me for Rebecca. I suggest you go home, make nice with the woman you married, and leave me the hell alone."
Finn closed the door in Pete's handsome face and walked away before he said or did something he'd really regret. He returned to the garage and tinkered with his tools, though his thoughts were too chaotic to give his project the attention it deserved.
He tried to keep in mind the good times he and Pete had shared before their disastrous end seven months earlier, but it was a damn hard thing to accomplish. How could he forgive Pete for ripping out his heart and shitting on it? He couldn't even put it behind him, because Pete kept showing up and pleading for attention.
Finn was at the end of his rope with the entire situation. He just didn't get it. Pete was the one who'd left him. It was Pete who claimed he could never be fully satisfied with a man. Finn had known going into their relationship that Pete claimed to be bisexual, but he'd never imagined the man would use his sexuality as an excuse to end their relationship and go running back to his college sweetheart. It was only after they'd split up that Finn had learned Pete had never really stopped seeing Rebecca at all. They were married less than a month after Pete walked out on Finn.
To rub salt in the wound, Pete had even had the nerve to send Finn an invitation. After shredding the summons, Finn had spent the day of the ceremony at the bottom of a bourbon bottle. The resulting hangover made him swear off liquor.
For the last seven months, he'd sworn off men as well.
Now, though... Lee had given him a reason to hope for the future. He genuinely like the handsome blond and looked forward to getting to know him better. All he could do was trust his instincts and pray they didn't lead him down the path to heartbreak once more.
\*
By Sunday evening, Lee wished he'd taken Finn up on his offer to spend Sunday together. Instead of going driving with Finn and getting a turn behind the wheel, Lee opted to go home late Saturday night and spend Sunday alone, getting some work done. After all, it wasn't as if his house was going to clean itself.
One of the downsides of working from home was being forced to repress his natural sloppiness.
As a bribe, Lee promised himself a trip to the mall and a small spending spree. The baby's room still needed a little something Lee couldn't put his finger on. He'd painted the walls a nice neutral purple, with a pristine white chair rails and wainscoting covering the lower half of the walls. A white crib, changing table, dresser, and rocking chair took up residence in the room and made it feel homey and ready to welcome his child home. The dresser drawers were filled with newborn clothing, the changing table amply stocked with diapers and every other necessity the child-rearing websites said a new parent would need. Nevertheless, a niggling sense of incompletion tormented Lee. It still needed a little...something.
He was sure he'd figure it out. He just needed to get out there and look around. The answer would come to him. In the meantime, he needed to get his mind off the man next door and back onto making his home shine. There would be plenty of time to obsess over Finn later.
With the radio blaring classic rock tunes, Lee went about dusting and vacuuming the upstairs. He started a load of laundry and cleaned up the bathroom while singing along to Peter Frampton and the Rolling Stones.
After transferring the towels from the washer to the dryer, he glanced at his watch and realized it was almost eight o'clock and time for his weekly phone call to Dawn. He checked up on her at the same time every Sunday. Abandoning the laundry, Lee washed his hands, turned off the music, and hustled into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. He gulped down half the icy contents while standing in front of the fridge, then carried what was left into the living room.
Once he was settled on the couch, Lee dialed Dawn's number and listened to the phone ring through. Dawn picked up on the fifth ring. "Hello, Lee."
"Hey." Lee drummed his fingers on the couch arm. "How are you?"
"I'm good. Tired but really good. I think you may have a soccer player on the way. The little one's been using my internal organs for practice a lot this week."
Lee paused, unsure of what to say to that. "I'm sorry."
Dawn laughed. "Don't apologize. It's perfectly normal. My kids were kickers too."
"Well, I'm glad to hear that."
"Lee, I scanned and emailed you yet another doctor bill this morning. I don't know why they keep sending them to me."
"Don't worry. I'll call and straighten it out tomorrow morning. They know all the bills should come to me."
"Thank you. I appreciate you taking care of it. I hate dealing with the billing department."
"No problem. I'm happy to handle all the paperwork. You're the one who's doing all the hard work. Just relax and take care of yourself."
"I will, hon. You don't have to worry about that. Taylor nags me to death to make sure I'm getting all the rest I need. She's been really good about helping out with the kids and making sure they don't run me ragged."
"That's good," Lee said, nodding although Dawn wasn't there to see him. "You're lucky to have her, you know." Dawn and her wife, Taylor, had two children of their own---David, a precocious four-year-old, and Lisa, who was six and such a little beauty she was destined to be heartbreaker. Lee hadn't met the kids in person, but Dawn shared photos and talked about them so much that it felt like he knew them well. Taylor, on the other hand, he had met and liked well enough. She wasn't as gregarious as Dawn, but then there weren't a lot of people who were as outgoing and chatty as the woman he'd chosen to carry his child. After that first awkward meeting was out of the way, he and Dawn had hit it off and become friends of a sort. It was going to be strange after the baby was born and he no longer had a reason to stay in touch except for the occasional update or emailed photo.
"I am, although I'm not going to tell her that. She already thinks she's God's gift to humanity."
Lee laughed. "Well, I'm sure she has her reasons for that belief."
Dawn's giggle was downright wicked. "Definitely, but you don't want to hear about it."
"Right. I'll skip the details." He grabbed his water and took a sip. "Say, do you want me to drive down for your next appointment? It's not next Friday, but the following one, right?" At thirty-four weeks gestation, Dawn had been going to see her obstetrician every other week. After the upcoming thirty-six week checkup, her appointments would switch to every week until she delivered the baby.
"You don't have to, but I wouldn't say no to the company."
"Hey, you don't need to twist my arm. I'll make sure I can be there." He hadn't missed an appointment yet, although he was always careful to ask first and not automatically impose on Dawn. In return, she'd been really good about including him in all the milestones and keeping him aware of what was going on as it happened. Keeping the lines of communication open was of paramount importance in their situation. "Honestly, if you don't mind, I'd like to be there for all of them from this point forward."
"You're welcome to be there whenever you want, Lee. You know that."
"Okay, well... I guess I'll let you go, then. I have a million things to do before bedtime."
"All right. Night, Lee."
"Goodnight." Lee clicked the phone off and rested it on the couch beside him. Talking to Dawn tended to be pleasant but tense---a little like the longest job interview ever. He was so overwhelmingly grateful for what Dawn was doing. He didn't want to say or do anything to give her cause to worry about handing his child over to him after she gave birth.
Legally Dawn had no rights to the child. Dawn had no biological ties to the baby she carried, because Lee had chosen to use an anonymous egg donor and his sperm, classifying Dawn as a gestational surrogate rather than a traditional one. Unlike Lee's home state of Virginia, which imposed numerous restrictions on surrogacy contracts---including the exclusion of single and/or same sex couples--- North Carolina, where the baby would be delivered, had no laws pertaining to surrogacy. They only asked that the surrogate in question not receive payment to relinquish the child. The agency Lee hired to help him through the complex process took care of all the legalities regarding payments and compensation to assure everything was aboveboard.
However, Lee didn't want to push his luck. He had nightmares about Dawn changing her mind at the last minute and disappearing with his baby.
"I suck at this." Lee eased Finn's truck over to the curb and turned off the ignition. He rested his head on the steering wheel and resisted the urge to beat his head against it. He should have known he would fail at driving a stick shift. His coordination was for shit.
"You're doing fine." Finn rubbed Lee's back. "No one gets behind the wheel and aces operating a manual vehicle on their first try."
"You say that now, but let's see how you feel after I ruin your transmission." His lesson for the day was over, so the truck was safe for the moment, but Lee couldn't be so sure it would survive future lessons.
"Don't worry about that. If you mess things up, you can always buy me a new one."
"Easy for you to say." Lee sat up and glanced over at Finn, who looked amused more than anything else. "How much does one cost, anyway?"
"A remanufactured one will run you somewhere around two grand, give or take a little."
"Ouch." Lee had never found patience particularly sexy, but he was beginning to see its appeal. Finn had been nothing but supportive, quietly issuing directions and offering advice for the last half hour as Lee repeatedly stalled the truck. However, no matter how patient Finn was acting, Lee was beyond ready to throw in the towel and call it a day. He'd had enough driving. It was time to move this evening along to more pleasurable pursuits. "How about we make arrangements to take it out in trade instead? You know, just in case something happens."
Finn scooted across the bench seat and laid his hand on Lee's thigh. "What do you have in mind?"
"Hmm... I don't know." Lee's mind spun with mental image of all the things he yearned to do with Finn and had yet to accomplish. When Finn had stopped by Lee's house after work and surprised him with the offer of an impromptu driving lesson, Lee had been excited to accept. He'd done little except think about his hunky neighbor since they'd fooled around the previous Saturday. Ending the frustrating lesson with a little stress-relieving activity sounded like the perfect conclusion to a dreary Tuesday evening. "How about you and me, a couple of beers, and a big fluffy mattress? We can just see what comes up?"
Finn didn't answer. He just leaned forward and covered Lee's lips with his own.
Lee sighed into Finn's mouth, letting himself relax and trust Finn to lead for the time being. He met Finn's tongue with his own and then followed as it retreated, licking into Finn's mouth with languid strokes.
Big hands caressed Lee's shoulders and biceps. Strong arms wrapped around him and pulled him closer. Surrounded by Finn's strength and heat, Lee turned himself over to the passion brewing between them. Desire settled in his groin and uncoiled like a snake, prompting him to move things along. With reluctance, he broke the kiss and looked into Finn's languorous eyes. "We should take this inside."
"Just one more kiss..." Finn puckered his lips and leaned in to put them to use.
"Nope." Lee covered Finn's mouth with his hand. "If you kiss me again, we're going to wind up fucking right here in the truck."
Finn licked Lee's palm. The moment he jerked it away from Finn's mouth, Finn said, "I'm game if you are."
"No way." With a chuckle, Lee shoved Finn away from him and got out of the truck.
"Oh come on," Finn wheedled, exiting from the opposite side of the vehicle. "You haven't lived until you've gotten busy in the cab of a truck."
"I'll pass, thanks." His control was hanging by a thread, but he wasn't quite that desperate yet.
It was a damn good thing they were sitting at the curb in front of Finn's house, because Lee didn't think he'd be able to wait much longer than it took to get across the lawn before he threw himself at Finn and attacked his clothes.
Finn looked damn good in snug jeans and simple white pocketed T-shirt, but he felt even better---tough, confident and rock solid. Lee yearned to strip his lover down and make him shake with need.
Soon.
Finn beat Lee to the front door. He unlocked it and pushed Lee inside. The minute they both crossed the threshold, Rowdy darted toward them and danced around their feet. He yipped and jumped, begging for attention.
"Crap." Finn bent and gave Rowdy a good rub while continuing to look at Lee. "He probably needs to go out. Give me just a minute."
"Sure." Lee took a deep breath. Need pulsed through his veins, driving blood south, even as Finn walked away from him. Rather than staying put, he followed Finn into the kitchen. As soon as Rowdy was safely outside and the door closed behind him, Lee pounced.
He shoved Finn back against the countertop and pressed up against him. "Want you."
Before Finn could reply, Lee crushed his mouth down over his lover's and forced his way inside, taking out all his frustration and passion on Finn's lips and tongue. Lee's skin felt hot and tight; the steadily rising ache in his groin was almost painful. With their chests pressed firmly against each other and the smell of Finn's cologne overwhelming his senses, Lee's desire skyrocketed. He took the kiss deeper, hotter, and his control snapped.
To hell with waiting; he wanted Finn now.
He yanked his mouth away from Finn's and dropped to his knees. He fought with the button and zipper on Finn's pants, damn near cheering as the testy fabric parted and revealed nothing but soft, hair-roughened skin beneath.
With a groan, Lee glanced up at Finn. "Commando?"
Finn shrugged. "It's laundry day."
Christ, I love laundry day. Lee gripped the fabric and tugged it down Finn's legs. Leaving the fabric bunched around Finn's thighs, Lee swooped forward and wrapped his lips around the flushed crown of Finn's cock.
"Fuck..." Finn's fingers dug into the countertop, his knuckles white from the strain. His hips bucked, sending his cock sliding farther into Lee's mouth.
Lee's cheeks hollowed from the effort. He hummed and grabbed Finn's ass, pulling him even closer, giving his lover silent permission to take what he needed. He loved the thought of being able to turn Finn on so much that his strong lover lost all control. He yearned to drown Finn in pleasure and turn him inside out, the same way being near Finn twisted Lee into malleable clay.
"Mmm..." Lee moaned, his lips stretched wide around Finn's girth. He took a little more with each pass, using his fingers to massage what he couldn't reach with his mouth. He dipped his tongue into the slit every time he reached the tip, and tightened his lips around the rim, determined to make Finn lose his mind with pleasure.
Lee licked and sucked, wanting Finn to come for him. Suddenly ravenous, he craved every drop his lover had to give. Drool slipped out of the corners of his mouth, dampening his chin. He didn't care. The only thing that mattered was making Finn shoot off like a rocket, and then following him over the edge of oblivion.
With that thought in mind, Lee let go of Finn with one hand and reached down to free his aching dick. Opening his pants was struggle, but he managed it. He got his fingers around his prick and stroked, looking up at Finn all the while.
Finn returned Lee's stare through heavy-lidded eyes, his handsome features twisted into the moue of a man ready to blow. He rocked his hips, shuttling his prick in and out.
God, he was sexy. Lee shivered, overwhelmed by the attraction simmering in his blood. There was nothing about Finn that didn't flip every one of Lee's switches and then some. He stroked himself in time with every bob of his mouth over Finn's thick flesh, moving faster and faster.
"Oh shit, Lee..." Finn's shaft thickened; the heady scent of musk increased. "I can't..."
Come on, Lee silently commanded, sucking harder. He dragged his tongue up the length of Finn's dick and swirled it around the tip. Come in my mouth.
Finn stiffened and moaned, spilling into Lee's mouth. Lee kept sucking, swallowing every drop Finn had to give, although he gentled the motions of his mouth. He turned his full concentration to his own needy dick and fisted himself tighter, squeezing around the tip. Two rapid pumps were all it took to make him slide over the edge of bliss and shoot his load over his hand and onto the floor beneath his knees.
He released Finn's softening cock and rested his forehead against one solid thigh.
Finn ran his fingers through Lee's short hair. "Do you feel better now?"
"Oh yeah." Lee pressed his lips to Finn's thigh. He'd never wanted anyone so bad in his life. It was actually a little scary how desperate he'd been to get into Finn's pants. "Sorry. I couldn't wait another second. I felt like I was going to crawl out of my skin or something."
"I'm not complaining. You can jump me any time you want."
Lee smiled against Finn's skin. "I'll keep that in mind."
Finn caressed Lee's ear and jaw. "How about we continue this in the bedroom?"
Lee stood and pressed up close to Finn. "Works for me."
"Me too." Finn wrapped his arms around Lee's waist and cupped his ass. He tilted his head and brushed his lips over Lee's once, then again.
The gentle prod of Finn's tongue against his mouth reignited Lee's need. He returned the caress with one of his own, giving in to the heady desire that consumed him whenever they were within touching distance. He wasn't sure why the chemistry between them was so strong; all he knew was he didn't want it to end.
They kissed until Lee was breathless and Finn was panting. The trip from the living room to the bedroom was a heated blur of hands and mouths. Somehow they managed to get each other undressed before they fall onto the bed in a tangle of overeager limbs.
Finn leveraged himself up and over Lee, pressing him down against the mattress, and then they were at it again, mauling each other, kissing and touching, humping with abandon as if they hadn't just gotten off minutes earlier.
Finn's hot mouth ran down his neck while Lee panted and groped at Finn's back and ass. His hunger rose and escalated, threatening to roar out of control. Touching Finn, tasting him, only made Lee want more. He didn't think he'd ever get enough. It didn't seem possible.
Finn rocked his hips, rubbing their dicks together. He slid a hand beneath Lee and squeezed one of Lee's buttocks. "I want inside you so bad."
"Yes," Lee whispered. "God, yes." He'd thought of little else.
"Just a sec." Finn lifted up and rolled onto his side to reach into the nightstand.
While he retrieved supplies, Lee drooled over his lover's fantastic physique. Light drifted in through the window, casting a golden hue over Finn's creamy complexion. His back was smooth and broad, corded with healthy muscle Lee wanted to lick. Wide shoulders tapered down into a waist made narrow by comparison and an infinitely bitable ass with dimples deep enough for Lee to tongue-fuck.
Before he could act on the urge, Finn turned and gave Lee a full frontal view. If there was any blood remaining in Lee's upper body, it turned south and pumped into his dick.
Lee loved Finn's hairy chest and the firm torso beneath. Unable to wait another second to touch, he reached out and ran his fingers through the mat of straight, silky hair between Finn's pecs. "Have I mentioned how sexy you are?"
"Maybe." Finn moved back into Lee's arms. "You're welcome to tell me over and over again, though. I won't mind at all."
"I bet not." Lee buried his face against Finn's chest, hiding his smile. He rooted through the sparse hair ringing Finn's nipples and pulled one taut bud into his mouth.
Finn groaned and pushed up against Lee's mouth. "You should stop doing that...sometime in the next fifty years or so."
"Only fifty years?" Lee switched to the other side.
"Mmm..." Finn ran his fingers through Lee's hair. "How about seventy?"
Lee nipped Finn's nipple and soothed the sting with a quick flick of his tongue. "I'll have to check my schedule."
"Smart-ass."
With one last teasing lick, Lee scooted upward. Their lips connected, tongues meeting in a whirlwind of sensation. Finn wound his arms around Lee's back and then farther down to cup and knead Lee's ass.
Finn broke their kiss and feathered his lips down the side of Lee's face. "You have no idea how many times I've lain in this bed and thought about all the things I wanted to do to you."
"You can tell me about those ideas. Later." Lee forced his hand down between their bodies and took hold of Finn's dick. He squeezed, pumping his fist up and down the stiff rod. Once Finn was as hard as granite, Lee took the condom out of Finn's hand and tore it open. He rolled the slick latex down Finn's shaft. The turgid length was hot and hard, thick with excitement. Lee couldn't wait to feel it inside him.
"My turn." Finn pushed Lee over onto his back. He blazed a trail of hot, moist kisses down Lee's chest and stomach. Lee closed his eyes and concentrated on the feel of Finn's lips gliding over his skin. His pelvis rocked back and forth with a mind of its own, all the nerves in his body standing at attention.
Awash in sensation, he barely heard Finn flip open the cap on the lube. The cool liquid came as shock as Finn's warm fingers brushed by his balls and then through the valley between his buttocks. A wide finger nudged his back passage and slipped beyond, teasing the tight ring into submission.
Lee sucked in a deep breath and willed his muscles to relax. He grabbed his legs behind each knee and pulled them back against his chest, completely exposing himself to Finn. A second finger quickly joined the first and added to the slight burn of tissues parting. The tiny element of pain was only to be expected. It had been a long time since he'd been with a man in this way. He was looking forward to the burn, to having Finn fill him and make it all hurt so good.
Finn took hold of his latex-sheathed prick and lined it up with Lee's entrance. The blunt head rubbed against Lee's hole, exerting pressure. Impatient to be filled, Lee inhaled and pushed out. Finn moved forward at the same instant and his broad cockhead popped through the defiant little ring of muscle.
Lee cried out at the delicious burn of Finn finally sliding inside him. His hands fisted and released, searching for a hold among the folds of the comforter. He stared up at Finn with wide eyes, not wanting to miss a single thing as Finn fed him inch after inch of cock.
Finn grimaced, his face a mask of pleasure and pain. "Fuck, you're tight."
"Yeah." Lee panted. "It's been a while."
"Just tell me," Finn moaned, "if you need me to stop."
As if that was going to happen. "Don't you dare."
"Don't want to." Finn eased forward the last little bit and ground the root of his cock against Lee's stretched entrance. "Feels so good."
"God, yes." Lee was full to bursting with Finn's thick shaft stuffed inside him. "Move now. Fuck me."
With a groan, Finn eased backward and then advanced forward once more. He rocked his hips, repeating the action again and again.
"Ahh." Lee moaned with pleasure. He released his grip on his legs and wrapped them around Finn's hips. He dug his heels into Finn's ass, trying to force him deeper. "More."
Finn bent and slid his mouth over Lee's, resuming the frantic mating of their lips. Their tongues battled back and forth, mirroring the give and take happening below. Finn's thick cock speared deep and forced Lee open to the limits of his endurance.
Lee's eyes rolled as pleasure roared through his body, heating him from the inside out. The fiery pressure built stronger; the friction propelled him higher.
Finn swiveled his hips and pegged Lee's prostate. Ecstasy sizzled through Lee's nerve endings and made his body sing. He grunted and cried out, reveling in the pressure against his sweet spot and wordlessly egging Finn on. He might have begged or pleaded for more, given life to the constant litany of "more, more, yes, oh God, please" running through his mind, but he had no breath left with which to do so. His entire being was focused on his groin, where his balls ached and his dick throbbed with escalating tension. There was no way to gauge how close his lover was to the grand finale; Lee, however, was afraid he wouldn't be able to hold out much longer.
Each stroke grew harder than the last. Finn powered in and out of Lee's ass, gaining speed. "Close," he muttered, rising up onto his knees. With Lee's legs held secure in the crook of each arm, Finn began slamming into Lee. "So fucking close."
Although he didn't want it to end, Lee reached down and fisted his own shaft. He pumped once, then again, and wailed as he shot for the second time that evening. His vision shorted out, while the rhythmic contractions of his orgasm shattered what little remained of his ability to think.
Finn went rigid, his cock growing impossibly bigger inside Lee's sensitive passage, and then he was coming as well. "Fuck, yes! Oh, Lee..."
Finn collapsed down atop Lee and caught his slack lips in a hard, closed-mouth kiss before rolling over onto his side next to Lee. "Will you stay the night?"
"Yeah." Lee couldn't think of anything he'd love more than waking up next to Finn in the morning and getting a repeat of what they'd just done. Lee turned his head and opened his eyes, meeting Finn's gaze. "Fair warning, though---I might snore."
Finn laughed. "Might?"
"Okay. You got me. I snore like a freight train."
Finn hugged Lee and kissed him on the cheek. "I think I can live with a little noise as long as you're beside me when I wake up in the morning."
Lee's heart melted a little more. How could it not when Finn said things like that? "That sounds really good to me too."
"On the bright side," Finn added, nuzzling Lee's throat, "I don't snore at all. You only have to worry about me drooling on you."
For the next week and a half, every moment Lee wasn't working or asleep was spent with Finn. Since he'd chosen to spend the night at Finn's house more often than not, he supposed even the sleeping part wasn't quite true. Frankly, he was a little surprised they weren't sick of each other.
However, Lee couldn't get enough of the man. Judging from how happy Finn seemed when they were together, he could only surmise Finn felt much the same way. In all honesty, it was a little disconcerting how quickly Finn had gotten beneath Lee's skin. He wasn't sure what to make of it. All he knew was how easy it was to be with Finn and the way Finn consumed his thoughts even when they weren't together.
The one cloud hovering over their budding relationship was Lee's inability to tell Finn about the baby. He'd opened his mouth time and again to share his hidden joy with Finn only to snap his lips shut at the last second. Jimmy's advice kept circling through his mind, warning him not to spill the beans too soon. Lee didn't believe Finn would cast him aside because of his impending fatherhood, but he'd been wrong about men before. Too many times to count.
Just because Finn was a good man didn't mean he was prepared to step into what would soon be a ready-made family.
With the baby's due date steadily approaching, Lee knew he needed to confide in Finn. It was only a matter of finding the right time and words with which to do so. How do you tell your gay lover that you're expecting a baby? It wasn't as if there was a self-help manual for that kind of thing.
Snatches of all the different ways he could begin such a conversation bombarded Lee's mind as he made his way into the restaurant Finn had chosen for their dinner on Thursday evening. Tonight seemed like the best night to come clean, since he was scheduled to meet Dawn for her last biweekly obstetrics appointment in the morning. Or maybe it was just his last good opportunity to share. Otherwise, he'd have to lie to Finn about why he'd be out of town the next day. Omitting details about his life was one thing; lying about something so important would be abhorrent.
Finn had a right to know about the sharp turn Lee's life was about to take. Lee just wished he knew how Finn would take the news. Losing the man he was steadily growing to care about scared the piss out of Lee. However, it would be easier to walk away now than it would be months down the road, after he'd fallen ever deeper.
One way or the other, he would discover where he stood with Finn tonight.
With that thought at the forefront of his mind, Lee entered Fiona's Bistro. Having never been inside the small restaurant, Lee took in the simple décor and approved of the quiet ambience. Unlike the rowdy sports bar he usually frequented, it wouldn't be hard to have a private conversation here. It wasn't hard to spot Finn. Other than an elderly man nursing a cup of coffee at the counter, no one else was inside.
There were only a dozen or so tables, six round tables in the center of the floor and another six small square table clinging to the wall on the right. A long counter and display case filled with pastries and cookies took up the entire left wall. Finn was sitting at the last of the square tables, closest to the restrooms and a door Lee could only presume lead into the kitchen.
Finn looked up as Lee approached and smiled. "Hey."
"Hey yourself, handsome." Lee pulled out the chair across from Finn and had a seat. "This looks like an interesting place. What's good here? I'm starving."
"Absolutely everything," answered a female voice.
Lee turned and found a statuesque brunette standing behind him. Judging by the generic khakis, navy T-shirt, and black apron around her waist, she had to be an employee. "Um, thank you. We'll need a few more minutes before we're ready to order, though."
Finn laughed. "Lee, I'd like you to meet my little sister, Fiona."
Heat climbed Lee's neck and exploded across his face. "As in Fiona's Bistro?"
"One and the same." Fiona grabbed a chair from the table next to them and turned it around backward, straddling the seat. "And you must be Lee. Finn hasn't stopped talking about you lately."
"Oh really?" Lee glanced from Fiona to Finn, then returned his attention to Finn's sister. "Just what has he been saying about me?"
Finn groaned. "Behave, Fiona. This is not Pick on Your Brother Day."
"Please." Fiona grinned. "Today is a prime opportunity to embarrass you. I'd be a fool to let it pass me by."
A little mischief sounded fun to Lee. "I, for one, would love to hear what Fiona has to say."
Finn snorted. "I bet."
"Oh, don't get your panties in a bunch, Finn. I'll play nice." Fiona folded her arms along the back of the chair and rested her chin on them. "So, Lee... Finn tells me you own the house next to Daddy's."
Lee had to think about that for a minute. Then he remembered Finn saying he'd bought his home from their father. "Yes, I do. It's a nice neighborhood."
"You guys must be practically in each other's pockets all the time then, huh?"
Lee nodded. "You could say that. We've been spending a lot of time together lately."
Finn reached across the table and rested his hand over Lee's. "Yes, we certainly have."
"Aw, that's sweet." The bell over the door dinged as a man and woman entered, interrupting anything more Fiona might have said. "Well, business calls. I'll be back in a sec to take your order."
Lee's anxiety level dropped as Finn's sister retreated to the counter to take the couple's order. He turned his hand over beneath Finn's and squeezed his lover's fingers. "I'd like to say I feel sorry for you, but you're kind of asking for a ribbing by bringing me here to meet your sister."
"I know. I wanted the two of you to meet, though. It was better to come here than to have her show up at the house and surprise us."
"Good point." Just thinking about some of the things they'd done right in Finn's living room was enough to tighten his pants. "Um, she doesn't have a key, does she?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Oh, God. I'm going to have to be more careful where I jump you from now on. I'd die if she walked in on us."
"Don't worry." Finn lifted Lee's hand and kissed his knuckles. "She wouldn't let herself in unless I asked her to stop by and check up on Rowdy or something."
"That's good to know." Lee was still wary about living room sex, though. "Maybe we could start spending more time at my place, though. You know, just in case." Most of their time together had been spent out and about or at Finn's home. It was just simpler that way, since Finn had Rowdy to contend with.
"Sure. We can, if you want." Finn released Lee's hand and picked up one of the two menus on the table. "Do you have any idea what you're in the mood for tonight?"
"Not a clue." Lee snatched up his menu and opened it, looking over the contents for something good. "You know what I like. What would you recommend?"
"The lasagna is good. So is the chicken pot pie. That's what I usually get."
"All right." Lee closed the menu and laid it on the table. "Just make it two orders, then. Chicken pot pie and a tall glass of sweet tea would be perfect."
As soon as the couple departed with a huge takeout bag in hand, Fiona returned to their table. "So, what'll it be tonight? You want your usual, Finn?"
"Yeah and Lee will have the same, except he wants a sweet tea instead of a cola."
"All right. Give me a few minutes and I'll have it out for you guys." Fiona smiled at Lee. "It was nice meeting you. Maybe we can hang out sometime and talk more when I'm not working."
"Sure, as long as you promise to tell me all of Finn's embarrassing childhood stories."
"I think we're going to get along just fine, Lee." With a laugh, Fiona turned and headed back into the kitchen.
"Your sister seems nice." Lee wasn't quite sure what to make of her, but she seemed friendly enough. It was definitely fun watching someone ruffle Finn's feathers.
"She is, most of the time." Finn shrugged. "I'm sorry I didn't warn you about meeting her, but I didn't want to freak you out."
"That's okay." A little warning would have been nice, but Finn was right about the prospect of meeting the family being a cause for Lee to freak out. He would have spent all day worrying about making a good impression. It was kind of sweet how well Finn knew him already.
After their dinner arrived, their conversation dwindled down to small talk while they ate. Finn went on and on about his latest acquisition at work, an old Chevrolet that had wings or something. Lee tried to pay attention, he really did, but his mind wandered away from the minutiae or car restoration and circled around and around the discussion he was dreading with every fiber of his being.
Lee bided his time and tried to figure out when would be the right time to talk about surrogacy. He couldn't bring it up now, not when Finn's sister could pop out of the kitchen and interrupt them at any moment. They needed more privacy. Lee didn't want to risk slicing himself open and sharing his innermost desires only to be rejected and ridiculed in front of other people. Of course, that was the worst-case scenario.
Deep in his heart, he didn't think Finn was the kind of man who'd belittle someone for their desire to have a family. However, that didn't mean Finn would stick around. There were very few men who yearned for a ready-made family. None that Lee was aware of. Shoot, some of his gay friends and acquaintances had gone so far as to accuse him of being a sellout who was trying to conform to a bourgeois heteronormative culture.
"Hello," Finn said. "Earth to Lee."
Lee glanced at Finn. "I'm sorry. I must have spaced out there for a second."
"No worries." Finn smiled. "I didn't mean to yammer away about cars and put you to sleep."
"You didn't." Lee set down his fork. Although he'd only finished half of his meal, his appetite had deserted him. "I just have a lot on my mind right now."
Finn sipped his drink. "Want to talk about it?"
"Yeah. Not here, though, okay? We can go back to my place when you're finished."
"All right. I'm done. Just let me say goodbye to Fiona and I'll be right behind you."
"Sure." Lee pushed back his chair and rose to his feet. "What do I owe you for dinner?"
Finn stood and waved away Lee's offer. "Don't worry about. Dinner's on me."
"Thanks. I'll pick up the check next time." If there is a next time...
"Don't worry about it." Finn caressed Lee's shoulder. "Should I be worried about whatever it is you want to discuss?"
"Maybe. I---" Lee paused, unsure of how to continue. He didn't want Finn to assume they were breaking up, but whether or not their relationship continued was entirely up to Finn at this point. "Can we just wait to start this discussion until we're alone?"
Finn's brow furrowed. "That sounds ominous."
"I'm sorry. I don't mean for it to." Lee leaned in and kissed Finn softly to reassure him. "Say bye to your sister. I'll be waiting for you at my house."
Confusion was the emotion du jour as Finn watched Lee walk out of his sister's bistro. Dread settled in his gut and churned up a storm of disappointment.
Was Lee planning to chuck him?
Finn had thought things were going so well between them. They got along famously in and out of the bedroom. Hell, the chemistry they shared had only grown hotter over the last two weeks. Finn couldn't get enough of Lee. He couldn't imagine why Lee would want to cut their relationship off at the knees.
All he could do was hope he was wrong. The truth would surface soon enough.
Upon entering the kitchen, Finn found Fiona at the vegetable station, dicing tomatoes. The college boy she hired to help out in the evenings, Chad or Chip or something---Finn could never remember the kid's name---was at the sink toward the back of the room, washing dishes. He glanced Finn's way and then went back to scrubbing.
Fiona didn't bother to look up as Finn approached her. "Leaving so soon?"
"Yeah." Finn pulled a wad of money out of his pocket, counted out enough to cover dinner plus a tip almost equal to the price of the meal, and laid the bills on the counter within Fiona's sight but well out of range of the food. Money was germy and Fiona would throw a shit fit if she had to stop mid-preparation and scrub down the counter. "Thanks for the chow. It was awesome, as always. Mom would be thrilled with how you've improved on her recipes."
The knife paused in Fiona's hand. "Was that actually a compliment?"
"It's not like it's a first, twerp."
"That's Ms. Twerp to you, buddy-boy." Fiona laid down the knife and stepped away from the counter. "Where's your boy?"
"Home, waiting for me."
Fiona lifted a single dark eyebrow in a quirky, questioning expression Finn had never been able to duplicate, no matter how much he'd practiced in front of a mirror when they were kids.
Finn shrugged. "We came in separate vehicles."
"Ah. Well, what are you waiting for, then? Go join your cute boyfriend." Fiona playfully punched Finn in the shoulder. "We can always gossip later."
Finn pulled his sister close and hugged her tight. "I'll call you tomorrow or something, okay?"
"Yep." Fiona let go first and stepped back. "Now go on. Get out of here. I'll see you later."
Tormented by what awaited him at Lee's house, Finn stepped out into the chilly mid-February air. He inhaled and exhaled, turning the air white as it escaped his lips.
His gaze landed on a couple across the street, standing in front of a trendy children's boutique. The man's arm was around the woman; their backs were to Finn. He had a brief moment to wish for the simple connection of two souls, for a future with Lee---a man he was only beginning to picture a future with. Then the couple turned, the man's profile sending a shock of recognition through Finn.
No matter how long he and Pete had been apart, Finn was not prepared to see his ex and his ex's new wife---his very pregnant wife. Apparently Pete had been busy, because Rebecca looked like she was ready to pop any minute. Finn didn't know shit about expectant mothers, but the woman had to be near her due date.
He couldn't believe the asshole had had the nerve to come sniffing around Finn's house only weeks before when he was not only married, but expecting the first of what Finn could only presume would be many children. After all, wasn't that why Pete had left in the first place? Because he claimed to want a family? As if Finn's love wasn't good enough.
Bastard.
With anger and disgust pumping through his veins like molten lava, Finn waited and met Pete's wide-eyed gaze when it finally landed on him only seconds later. All the color drained from Pete's face, as if he expected Finn to make a scene.
If he believed such nonsense, he obviously didn't know Finn very well.
Finn wasn't about to confront Pete about his deviant behavior. He just wanted the jerk to know he'd been found out. With any luck and a dash of common sense, Pete would take the hint and stay the hell away from Finn from that moment forward.
God help the man if he ever came around again. Finn wasn't sure what he'd do if faced with his ex again in a private setting.
With his temper nearing the boiling point, Finn turned and strode down the alley beside the bistro, toward the parking lot in back. He climbed into his truck and started it up, cranking the heat all the way up before it was ready. The frigid air didn't do anything to restore his calm, although thoughts of Lee helped. Pete was unimportant. He was the past. All Finn could do was hope he still had a future with Lee.
After the short drive home, Finn parked in his own driveway and then crossed the lawn to Lee's house. Lee must have been watching for him, because he threw open the front door before Finn could ring the bell.
"Hey." Lee stepped back and held open the door. "I was starting to think you got lost."
"Nope. I can find my way home." Finn preceded Lee up the stairs and into the living room. It was a little disconcerting that they'd come to Lee's house instead of his. So much of the time they'd been spent had been next door, rather than here. Now, in the process of second-guessing everything, Finn wondered why they hadn't come to Lee's place as much. Granted, he had Rowdy to think about, but it wasn't as if he couldn't just bring the pup with him. After all, Rowdy was housebroken.
Lee sat down and patted the cushion beside him. "Come have a seat."
Finn joined Lee on the sofa, sitting close enough that their thighs touched. Still unsatisfied with the amount of space between them, he turned sideways so he could face Lee. The front of his right calf brushed the outside of Lee's thigh. "So... What is it you want to talk about?"
"Oh. I'm just curious about something. How do you feel about kids?"
"They're all right, I guess. For other people." Without meaning to, Finn's mind automatically brought up the image of Pete and his wife, her belly enormously round and swollen. He shook it off, but a lingering sense of dread refused to budge. "Personally, I don't see why people make such a fuss about having kids. I mean, it's not like the world isn't already overrun with humanity."
"Oh." Lee's shoulders tilted ever slightly inward. If Finn hadn't been looking right at the man and paying close attention, he would have missed it.
"Why do you ask?" Every muscle in Finn's body tensed as he waited to hear Lee's answer. Truthfully, he wasn't sure he wanted to. The conversation felt eerily familiar. The only difference was that Lee identified as gay, rather than by bisexual like Pete.
"I---" Lee cleared his throat and gave Finn a tight smile. "I really like you, Finn. I hope you already know that at this point. However, I haven't been totally honest with you. You see, I never expected to meet someone right now. Much less someone I could picture building a life with. I had this plan for what my life was supposed to involve, and I didn't think that included a lover."
Finn's gut tightened and sank. He'd been on the receiving end of a few "it's not you, it's me" speeches, and this sounded exactly like one of those. He wiped his damp palms off on his jeans and waited for Lee to continue.
"The truth is, I had kind of given up on finding anyone I wanted to be with for the long haul, you know? I stopped looking for my Mr. Right and moved on to other things. Yet here you are, when I least expected you, and you're everything I could have hoped for in a partner. Except I've been keeping something from you---something kind of big---because I didn't want to scare you off."
Lee licked his lips and scrubbed his upper teeth over his bottom lip. "You see, when we first met I thought we'd go out on a couple of dates, enjoy each other, and then move on---just like all my other short-term relationships. I didn't want to share my news because I knew it might be a deal breaker and I wanted to get to know you so badly. That's no excuse, I know, but..."
Finn couldn't take the suspense for another second. Watching Lee cut himself open and bleed all over the floor was killing him. He yearned to pull Lee into his arms and comfort him, but he was too afraid of what was coming to make the move. He needed to know what Lee was keeping from him. And he needed to know now. "You're freaking me out, Lee. Would you just tell me what's going on, please?"
"Yeah. Okay." Lee took a deep breath and sat up straighter. "I, um... The thing is, I'm having a baby."
Finn stared at Lee for a moment, then burst out laughing. He couldn't help it. The deadpan way Lee had delivered that last line was just too much. "Oh my God. You had me going there for a minute. I thought you were breaking up with me."
"It's not a joke, Finn." Lee frowned and tilted his head to the side. "I'm serious. I really am getting ready to have a baby. The surrogate I'm working with---Dawn---is due on March fifteenth."
Finn sobered. He gaped at Lee as if seeing him for the first time. "You what?"
Lee met Finn's gaze and held it. "You heard me."
Finn's mouth moved, yet no sound emerged. His mind was a chaotic jumble of words and actions his body didn't seem interested in carrying out.
Lee fidgeted. "Aren't you going to say anything?"
"Like what?" Shit, he was at a loss for words. He didn't know how to react.
"I don't know." Lee scooted to the edge of the sofa and twisted around to face Finn. "You can probably guess why I was asking about kids now, though, huh?"
"Yeah." That he could. He just couldn't figure out where he fit into the equation. Finn rose to his feet and stared down at Lee. "I think maybe I should go. I have a lot to think about."
"All right." Lee blinked up at Finn, his eyes suspiciously shiny. "I was hoping we could talk a little more, but I can see why you'd need a little time to process everything."
"Right." Finn nodded absently, his mind twisted in knots. "I'll call you."
\*
The moisture in Lee's eyes didn't overflow until the front door slammed shut behind Finn. Although he'd tried to prepare himself in case Finn took the news badly, he'd never anticipated that his lover would walk out on him before they'd even discussed the situation. Maybe expecting a man to accept a baby not conceived from his own flesh and blood was simply too much to ask.
Hadn't Jimmy warned him of as much back when he'd first started talking about using the money he'd inherited from his mom to hire a surrogate?
However, no matter how terrified he was of losing Finn, he couldn't keep the baby a secret forever. He couldn't just show up one day after the birth and claim he'd found an infant on the side of the road.
Frankly, he didn't want to keep the news to himself. His excitement rose every single day closer to Dawn's due date. Not a day had gone by over the last two weeks when he hadn't wanted to share his joy with Finn.
Lee leaned forward and buried his face in his hands.
Perhaps it was best that things ended now, before he was in too deep. He didn't need to be involved with a man who wasn't interested in children or sticking around for the long haul. It hurt to even think as much, though. He really liked Finn. He cared about the man more than he would have thought possible in such a short time period.
Nonetheless, he had a child on the way and a lover who wanted nothing to do with a baby. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out which of the two was the most important. All of Lee's energy needed to be directed toward preparing for the arrival of his child. Whether or not he was single when the birth occurred remained to be seen. The ball was in Finn's court.
If there was one thing Lee was good at, it was figuring out when he was being avoided. A week had gone by since his conversation with Finn about the baby. During those seven days, he'd seen neither hide nor hair of Finn. Although it had been hard to go on with his schedule as if nothing had happened, Lee made a promise to himself that he wouldn't track Finn down and demand to know where they stood. Finn asked for time to think, and Lee was going to give it to him---even if he lost his mind while he waited in limbo.
Dawn's latest doctor appointment went well, as did as the late lunch they shared afterward. Lee got to feel the baby kick several times, which he absolutely loved. He wished he could say the same for the ride home. What should have been a four-hour drive turned into nearly seven thanks to a wreck near the Bristol exit.
He'd called the boys from the road and let them know he wouldn't make it for their weekly drinks at Peckers. With that out of the way, the only thing he had to look forward to was a lonely Friday night at home.
The sight of his home, so dark and forlorn, was depressing, but there was nowhere else to go. He killed the engine and got out of the vehicle, dreading the night to come. Although there were probably things he could conjure to keep busy, the oblivion of sleep sounded divine. The day had been long and exhausting, and he was more than ready for it to end.
Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a light on next door. Ignoring the knowledge that Finn was home and awake, Lee trudged up the driveway and into his house.
\*
Saturday dawned bright and somewhat warm, which was unusual but not unheard of for February. After the frigid weather they'd had lately, the fifty-degree temperature felt like summer to Finn as he stepped out the back door with Rowdy trailing hot on his heels.
Rowdy darted ahead of Finn, dancing all around the fenced-in yard while Finn stood still and let his gaze wander toward the house next door. He wondered what Lee was doing right then. Was he having a much-needed cup of coffee or still asleep? Considering the early hour, Finn would bet Lee was still sawing logs.
Damn, I miss him.
Finn felt like an ass for cutting Lee off and walking out on him, but he wasn't sure how to fix it. "Just apologize to the nice man for being an ass," Fiona had told him, as if it were that simple.
Honestly, although he'd thought of little else, he still wasn't sure how he felt about the prospect of being involved with someone with a kid. After the mess he'd gone through with Pete, his gut reaction had been to get away from Lee as fast as his legs would carry him. Unfortunately, the full extent of what Lee had said hadn't sunk in until Finn was halfway through a bottle of rum. He had to remind himself that Lee wasn't Pete. Lee wasn't ashamed of his sexuality and using the excuse of wanting a family to hide in the back of the closet.
Lee was simply a man who knew what he wanted out of life and had gone after it with open arms. Finn couldn't fault him for that. Given the way he reacted to the news, he couldn't even blame Lee for waiting to discuss the matter with him---even if he didn't like the secrecy.
The problem was, Finn still wasn't sure how he felt about the prospect of dating a man with a kid. Following a lot of soul searching and a long, slightly uncomfortable heart-to-heart with Fiona, he was no longer sure if he didn't want kids or if he'd just convinced himself he didn't want them since he'd always believed they were out of the realm of possibilities for a gay man---rather like diabetics who claim not to like chocolate because they know they can't have any.
Finn sipped his coffee and glanced at Rowdy, who was squatting to poop. Gross. With a sigh, Finn returned his attention to Lee's home. Unless he truly wanted nothing more to do with Lee, Finn needed to get his act together and do something.
A man like Lee---someone so kind and loving, not to mention damn attractive---wouldn't wait around forever while Finn tried to pull his head out of his ass.
Lee was in the process of looking through a book of baby names for what had to be the millionth time when the doorbell pealed through the otherwise quiet house. With a frown, he set aside the book and went to the door, his heart clanging louder than the second ring of the doorbell. There was only one person he could think of who might stop by unannounced. Finn.
Lee yanked the door open and felt his hopes plummet. He forced a smile for his friend. "Jimmy? Hey, man. What's up?"
"Not a lot." Jimmy breezed by Lee, his signature cologne floating on the air around him. "I was just in the neighborhood and thought I'd stop by and see my long-lost buddy."
Lee closed the door and followed his friend upstairs. "Oh come on. Don't be like that. I only missed two drink nights."
Jimmy went directly to the couch and sat right in the middle. "Yeah, two weeks in a row. The last time you missed so much, your mom had passed away."
Lee joined Jimmy on the sofa. "I'm sorry. I've just been busy."
Jimmy crossed his arms over his chest. "I know better than that. The only question is whether you're going to spill your guts now or later. I can sit here all day and give you the stink eye until you give in and confess whatever's bothering you."
"You're a nut." Amused, Lee shook his head. Despite Jimmy's jaded outlook on life, he was always there for Lee. "I'm sorry to burst you're bubble, but no one has died and I'm fine. I was just caught in traffic yesterday, as I explained when I called you."
"Be that as it may, it still doesn't explain last week's absence or your reluctance to chat lately." Jimmy's petulant tone brokered no argument. "What's going on with you?"
Lee sighed. "All right. I'll tell you what's going on, but I don't want any drama, okay?"
"Fine." Jimmy sat back and relaxed. "Dish."
\*
By the time Lee caught Jimmy up on everything that had happened, he was emotionally wrung out. "So, that's pretty much it. He walked out and I haven't heard from him since."
"That asshole," Jimmy huffed. "Well, fuck him. He doesn't deserve you."
"Aren't you the one who said no self-respecting gay man wants to change shitty diapers?"
"Possibly," Jimmy hedged, looking sheepish. "But that was only so you wouldn't ask me to babysit."
Lee laughed, feeling better than he had in days. "You are too much, Jimmy Horne."
"I know," Jimmy said with a well-practiced leer. "That's what all the boys tell me."
Several hours later, after devouring a six-pack of beer and a large pizza, Lee walked Jimmy out with the intention of returning inside and continuing his perusal of baby names. He had a few picked out for each sex, but they were nothing he was head over heels about. He really needed to find something he loved and narrow it down to one name for each gender. With Dawn closing in on her due date, time was of the essence.
Standing beside Jimmy's sporty ride, Lee embraced his friend. "Thanks for coming by and cheering me up."
Jimmy hugged Lee tight and patted him on the back. "Don't mention it. You know I'd do anything for you, even change shitty diapers, if I absolutely have to."
Chuckling, Lee released Jimmy and took a step back. His laughter was interrupted by a throat clearing and the sound of his name in a voice he wasn't sure he'd ever hear again.
Without turning, Lee said, "Jimmy, meet Finn."
Predictably, Jimmy stiffened and glared, shooting daggers past Lee's shoulder at the man beyond. "Hello, asshole. I'd like to say it's nice to meet you, but we both know I'd be lying."
Finn moved into Lee's line of sight, closing the distance between him and Jimmy. "Excuse me? You want to run that by me again, buddy?"
Damn Jimmy and his big mouth. With a sigh, Lee moved to intervene. "Could we maybe act like adults here?"
"Hey," Finn retorted, "I'm not the one calling people names. You might want to tell your buddy to grow up."
"Fuck you." Jimmy took a step forward, invading Lee's personal space in order to get closer to Finn, who was once again standing behind Lee. "I'm not the one who had a temper tantrum and ran off without talking things out."
"Jimmy." Lee closed his eyes and counted to five. It was the only way he could keep from dying of embarrassment. He didn't need his friends to fight his battles for him. "Just go. Please. I can handle this."
Jimmy stopped glaring at Finn and met Lee's gaze. "Are you sure? I can stick around."
"I'm fine. I'll call you later, though, okay?"
"Yeah. I can take a hint."
"Only if I give it to you with a sledgehammer."
Jimmy smiled, although it didn't extend beyond his lips. Concern clouded his expression. "I'll hold you to that. Make sure you don't forget to call."
"I won't. Now go on, get out of here." Lee stood in silence and waited until Jimmy was backing out of the driveway before he turned to face Finn. "I'm sorry about that. Jimmy is a little overprotective of the people he cares about."
Finn nodded. "I can understand that."
"So..." Lee crossed his arms over his chest, hugging himself. "What are you doing here?"
"I was hoping we could talk."
"All right." Lee studied Finn's expression, looking for some hint as to what the man wanted to discuss, and couldn't discern anything good or bad. He had a damn fine poker face. "Let's take this inside, though. I don't want to chat about anything out here on the lawn."
\*
Finn followed Lee inside, his chest aching like he'd just finished running a marathon. One minute he'd been inside, looking out the window at Lee and his friend embracing like long-lost lovers, and the next he'd been out the door and standing behind Lee. He wasn't sure what possessed him to dart across the yard like that. It wasn't as if he had any right to say who Lee spent time with. All he knew was the overwhelming urge to yank Lee out of the blond guy's arms and reestablish his own right to be the only man allowed to touch Lee in such an intimate manner. Never before had he felt such an overwhelming sense of jealousy. As much as he'd thought he loved Pete, he hadn't wanted to rip anyone's arms off for touching him.
He was a little confused by how strongly he'd reacted. He wasn't normally the kind of person who followed his impulses. He much preferred to think things through before he acted on anything. Leaping before he looked was beginning to be a habit when it came to his relationship with Lee.
Thanks to his impulsivity, he now faced a conversation he wasn't prepared to have. He still wasn't sure how he felt about getting involved with a man who had a child. The only thing he knew for certain was his desire to continue seeing Lee.
He enjoyed Lee's company. Lee was smart and funny and damn attractive. His easygoing demeanor was as desirable as his sex appeal. They'd had more fun sitting at home and watching the evening news than Finn had going out on fancy dates with other men. Finn didn't want to give that up.
The very thought of Lee dating another man twisted something low and tight in Finn's gut.
Long before he was ready, Finn found himself seated in Lee's living room and facing the man in question from across the length of the sofa. It might as well have been a football field. The closeness they'd built was gone, replaced with a nervous tension that turned Finn's stomach. His fingers itched to reach through the divide and wipe away the frown lines creasing Lee's forehead. Instead, Finn rubbed his damp palms on his jeans and prayed he wouldn't fuck this conversation up.
"So..." Lee cleared his throat. "What is it you want to talk about?"
"I owe you an apology. I'm sorry about how I reacted to your news. I know it's no excuse, but I wasn't in the best frame of mind that night."
"What do you mean?" Lee's frown deepened. "You seemed fine when we left the restaurant."
"I know. I---" Finn paused and weighed his words carefully. "We never really got around to talking about our exes, I guess, but mine was a doozy. I kind of ran into him that night when I was on my way here---him and his very pregnant wife. The reason we broke up was because Pete wanted kids."
"And you didn't?" Lee asked.
"No. Once I accepted being gay, I just figured children weren't in the cards for me."
"You never discussed adoption or surrogacy with him?"
"No. By the time Pete brought the matter up, he already had one foot out the door and a woman lined up to play broodmare. A male lover didn't fit into his vision of the perfect family, regardless of whether we could adopt."
"Okay. I can see why that might put a chip on your shoulder, but surely you can see the difference between your ex and me. It's an entirely different situation. I wasn't telling you about the baby to make you feel inferior."
"I realized that after I left, but by then other doubts crept in and... Lee, I want to be with you, but I don't know a damn thing about kids. Just the thought of being around a baby makes me nervous."
"You know..." Lee scooted closer. "Just because I'm going to be a father doesn't mean you're stepping in to a ready-made family. I can't lie and say I don't hope we eventually get there, but we can take things slow for now, keep dating, and see where it goes."
Finn exhaled. He hadn't ruined anything. Lee seemed to understand where he was coming from. "Slow sounds really good."
Lee smiled. "It does to me too."
Finn started to reach out to Lee but ended up with his hand hovering in midair, unsure of his welcome. "Can I...?"
"God, yes." Lee grabbed Finn's wrist and brought the hand to his face. He rubbed his bristly cheek against it like a cat. "Please. Come here."
Finn leaned in close enough to feel the body heat pouring off Lee. "I missed you."
"Me too." Lee kissed Finn's palm. "I'm glad you came around."
"I'm so sorry I freaked out on you." Finn cupped Lee's cheek and brushed his thumb over Lee's bottom lip. "I don't want to screw this up."
"You won't." Lee's slick tongue flicked over the pad of Finn's thumb. "I won't let you."
With a groan, Finn leaned in closer and slanted his lips over Lee's, taking the first of what he hoped would be many kisses that night.
One minute they were kissing soft and easy; in the next Lee's tongue was firmly thrusting into Finn's mouth. The back-and-forth rhythm brought to mind other pleasurable pursuits. Blood pumped south and tightened his pants. The way Lee's hands glided over Finn's chest and arms exacerbated matters. When Lee slid a hand beneath Finn's shirt and caressed his abs, any hope of a long, leisurely makeout session vanished. He ripped at Lee's clothes as if the answers to all of life's problems were etched on his lover's bare skin. Lee moaned into Finn's mouth and aided in the goal, only pulling away long enough to yank his shirt off.
Once Lee was naked, Finn released him and grabbed the hem of his own shirt. He tugged it over his head and cast it aside. Lee dropped to his knees and began to work on Finn's jeans. He popped the button and tore down the zipper. Anxious to be naked and feel Lee's skin against his own, Finn leaned back on his elbows and elevated his hips. As soon as the pants were down around his calves, Lee stopped and leaned forward. He lapped Finn's sac and sucked the loose skin into his mouth.
Finn gaped down at Lee, fixated on the full pink lips and tongue moving against his skin. Lee's mouth felt spectacular. Before he could get used to the sensation, Lee moved upward and stretched his mouth around Finn's swollen knob. He bucked up into the wet heat, desperate for more.
Lee's cheeks hollowed and the suction intensified. He bobbed up and down, his mouth gliding over Finn's cock, taking him deeper with every pass. The sensitive tip hit the soft wall at the back of Lee's throat and went no farther. He groaned around Finn's cock, making his mouth vibrate.
"Fuck, Lee..." Finn fisted the edge of the couch cushions.
"Mm." Lee released Finn's cock with a loud squelch. "Good idea." He straddled Finn's lap and ground against him. The wet tip of his prick danced over Finn's abs. "Christ. I missed this. Missed you."
"Me too. So much."
"I want you now." Lee wiggled around until Finn's cock slid back and forth between his ass cheeks. "Fuck me."
Finn gripped Lee's hips and stilled his rhythm. He was just as desperate as Lee, but some things couldn't be helped. "We need a rubber and lube."
"Shit." Lee stared at Finn for a moment and then shook his head. "Don't move. I'll be right back."
"I'm not going anywhere."
Lee hopped off Finn's lap and took off toward the bedroom. Finn gawked at Lee's ass until he was out of sight and then quickly finished removing his pants. By the time he was done, Lee rushed back into the room with a half-empty bottle of lube in one hand and a strip of condoms in the other.
Finn grinned at three condoms. "Feeling optimistic?"
"Never say never." Lee pounced, sitting astride Finn's thighs, and crushed his mouth down over Finn's.
Finn tilted his head back and let Lee have his way with him. There was something so intimate about kissing, even more so than sex. And Lee was so good at it. The swirly thing he did with his tongue was fan-fucking-tastic. Finn couldn't believe he'd almost thrown this away. He didn't know what the hell he'd been thinking.
He slid his hands from Lee's hips to his ass and dug his fingers into the soft, rounded globes. At that moment there was nothing he wanted more than to bury himself as deep as he could get inside Lee. Conversely, he couldn't seem to tear himself away from Lee's intoxicating lips long enough to make it happen. He was carried away by the power of Lee's kiss, the tender hands petting his chest and sides, the small whimpers spilling from Lee as he rocked to and fro.
Lee must have been on the same wavelength. He forced a separation between their mouths and slapped the rubbers into Finn's hand. "I can't wait another second. We can take it slow later."
"Okay." Finn wasn't in any mood to disagree, not when he wanted the exact same thing. He tore a condom off the strip and opened it. He rolled the slick latex over his shaft and watched as Lee wiggled and squirmed, lubing himself up. Wild horses couldn't drag his attention away. The flush spreading up Lee's smooth chest was a thing of wonder, almost as alluring as the slack set to his lips and tiny catches in his respiration from fingering himself open in preparation for Finn's cock.
Watching was fun, but he wanted to touch too. Being a spectator only went so far. He slid his hand between their torsos and took hold of Lee's cock. He thumbed the weeping tip and pumped up and down the shaft. Lee's erection pulsed with eagerness within the snug clasp of Finn's fist.
"Fuck. Enough of this. I'm ready." Lee sat forward and braced one hand on Finn's shoulder. He leaned in for a kiss, while his other hand traveled down to swat Finn's fingers away from his cock. He reached lower and gripped the base of Finn's erection. After angling Finn's dick into position, Lee began to lower himself down.
Finn scooted forward just a little, far enough to improve the angle. Tight, wet heat kissed the tip of Finn's dick. Snug pressure slowly enveloped him. Lee swallowed Finn's gasp of pleasure and added a low moan to the mix. The muscles of Lee's channel rippled around Finn's shaft in welcome.
Lee bore down until he had every inch and then ground his ass against the root. "Jesus. You feel good."
Beyond the point of being able to speak, Finn grunted and wrapped his arms around Lee. He immediately sought out the firm globes of Lee's ass and squeezed them. He tilted his chin up for a kiss and was immediately rewarded by Lee's soft lips brushing over his. Their tongues met and slip-slided against each other as Lee lifted halfway up and dropped back down on Finn's shaft.
Lee's hips began to swivel, rocking slow and steady. Finn thrust up into Lee with small and precise movements. The wet drag and pressure of Lee's channel pushing against him on the outstroke and then blossoming open to allow him right back inside on the upstroke was almost too much for him to take.
Lee arched his neck, pulling his mouth away from Finn's. His head fell back and his eyes closed, a string of whimpers and obscenities falling from his mouth. "Fuck me harder, Finn. Please."
Finn grabbed Lee's hips and plunged upward, desperate to give his lover what he needed. He put everything he had into each hard-driving thrust and hoped like hell it was enough to send Lee over the edge. The sound of ragged breathing and the soft thump of damp flesh slapping together filled the air. Finn was seconds away from coming. The telltale tingle of impending orgasm started in his balls and plumped his cock beyond endurance.
Lee sped up the pace, riding Finn fast and hard. "Oh damn. I'm gonna..." His breath hitched and whooshed out of him. His dick bounced and shot, splattering Finn's abdomen with hot ribbons of come.
It was too much for Finn. The tension reached a crescendo and exploded. The skin of his shaft tightened and throbbed, almost to the point of pain. His ass clenched as he shoved upward as deep as he could and let go, filling the condom in one long spurt after another.
Lee fell forward, resting his weight against Finn's damp chest. He rubbed his cheek over Finn's shoulder and pressed his lips to the side of Finn's neck.
\*
After cleaning up, they moved into the bedroom and curled up together, with Lee's head lying over Finn's heart and their legs entwined. No matter how much Finn yearned to bask in the moment, he had questions about the baby thing. A lot of them.
He cleared his throat, the sound abnormally loud in the quiet room. "Why surrogacy?"
Lee glanced up at Finn with heavy-lidded eyes. "Hmm?"
"I just want to understand where you're coming from. I might have a better grasp of things if I comprehend your reasoning. I get wanting kids, but why surrogacy when you could have adopted? I don't know much about either."
"It wasn't because surrogacy was cheaper. You could have someone killed cheaper than you can have someone born."
"Can I ask?" He didn't want to be rude, but he was curious. Although Lee had a good job, Finn didn't imagine he made the kind of money something like surrogacy would cost.
"Yeah." Lee rubbed his fingers through the dark chest hair between Finn's pecs. "All things considered, the process will probably end up costing me a little over a hundred grand."
Finn whistled. "Wow."
"It sounds horrible when I say it out loud like that."
"That had to hurt." Hell, Finn's house wasn't worth much more than that figure.
"Oh yeah. I never would have been able to swing it if my mom hadn't left me a nice chunk after she passed away a few years ago."
"I'm sorry." They'd never really talked about Lee's family. "What about your dad?"
Lee sighed, sending a humid puff of air across Finn's skin. "Lung cancer took him the year before Mom passed."
Finn caressed Lee's back, silently apologizing for dredging up a painful subject. The skin was smooth and hot beneath his fingertips. "That had to be rough. I can't imagine losing both parents so close together."
"You can say that again. Losing them so fast made me take a hard look at myself. I've always wanted kids, but facing reality like that forced me to wake up and realize I was losing time. I couldn't stand the thought of waiting any longer and continuing to plan for a future I could make happen now."
"That makes sense." It still didn't explain why he chose not to adopt, though. "Wouldn't it have been faster to adopt a child?"
"Not really. I would have been added to a very long list of people looking for infants. Being single wouldn't have helped. Married couples have a better chance, and even then it can take three to five years."
"Oh." Jeez. He had no clue it could take that long.
"Plus, I wanted to see something of myself in my kid. I know that probably sounds bad when there are so many children who are already born and in need of a home, but I really need that connection. Since I'm adopted, I can't help but wonder what it would be like to see little bits of myself in someone else."
"You're adopted?"
"Well, yeah... I never told you?"
"No, I don't think so." Surely he would have remembered something like that.
"It's not a big deal or anything. I grew up knowing I was adopted, but I had a great childhood."
"Do you ever think about trying to find your birth parents?" If the situation were reversed, Finn felt sure he would want answers.
"Not anymore. I did when I was a kid, though. As you can imagine, every time I got in trouble I'd dream about these fabulously wealthy birth parents who would swoop in and save me from whatever had pissed me off."
Finn laughed. "I can see that. When I was little, I used to dream about running away and being a rock star."
"Good thing you never tried it out. I've heard you sing in the shower." Lee faked a shudder. "Scary stuff."
Lee snuggled closer to Finn and sighed in contented bliss. The DVD they were watching was dumb, but he couldn't care less. He was warm, comfortable, and stretched out on the couch, nearly on top of the sexiest man he'd ever had the pleasure of seeing naked. He couldn't think of a single place he'd rather be, unless it was in bed. Unfortunately, Finn didn't have a TV in his bedroom and he seemed hell-bent on finishing the mindless action movie they'd rented earlier in the day. Lee was patiently biding his time and waiting until it finished before he pounced, but it wasn't easy. In fact, it was hard---damn hard, and pressing against the couch cushion beneath him.
Over the last month, he and Finn had repaired the rift between them and grown even closer than Lee could have hoped. They'd spent a lot of time just talking and hanging out, really getting to know each other. Lee had shared his ambitions and talked about how to it felt to be adopted and an only child. It was important to him that Finn understand what he'd gone through, never seeing anything of himself in the loved ones around him, and why that made him crave a family of his own so strongly. In turn, Finn had talked about growing up with his sister, and the desire to have a close, lasting relationship like the one his parents had shared.
When they weren't talking or in bed, the two of them were out enjoying the unexpected warm weather. Finn finished teaching Lee how to drive a manual transmission and Lee talked Finn into accompanying him to a baby boot camp class at the local community college. Watching Finn attempt to change a diaper using a doll as his guide was something Lee didn't think he'd forget any time soon. It was as hilarious as it was sweet.
The only blemish on an otherwise perfect existence was his growing concern over Dawn and the baby. Dawn was currently six days beyond her due date. Lee was going out of his mind with worry and, truth be told, impatience. He'd done everything he could to prepare for the baby's arrival, from finishing the nursery to hiring part time help to come in and keep an eye on things while he was working. All he could do now was wait and hope for the best.
By the time the credits rolled across the TV, Lee was halfway to blue-ball city and determined to do something to prevent finishing the trip. He rubbed his face against Finn's abdomen, breathing in the scent of his lover's bare skin. He grinded his chest against Finn's groin, hoping for some kind of reaction.
"Hold that thought." Finn scooted backward, dumping Lee on the couch. He swung his left leg over Lee's head and stood. "I have to piss."
Lee didn't waste any time once Finn was out of the room. He led Rowdy to the kitchen door and let the hyper beast out into the backyard to do his business. Upon returning to the living room, he stripped out of his clothes and resumed his position on the couch.
Finn walked back into the room with the top button of his jeans undone and a wicked gleam in his eye. He stopped at the end of the couch and palmed the rising bulge behind his fly. "Couldn't wait?"
"Nope." Lee spread his legs and fisted his shaft, loosely stroking up and down. "The real question is what are you going to do about it?"
Finn glanced around the living room. "Where's Rowdy?"
"I put him outside." Lee used his free hand to cup his balls. He lifted them up, hoping the move gave Finn a clear view of his asshole.
Lee had never seen Finn get undressed quicker. Once he was naked, Finn dropped to his knees beside the sofa. He knocked Lee's hands out of the way and bent across him, covering the head of Lee's cock in slick, tight heat.
"Oh." Lee groaned and thrust upward, trying to bury more of his cock into Finn's sweet mouth.
Finn pressed his right arm down against Lee's lower stomach and forced him to lie still while his cockhead was licked and tormented. Finn's tongue circled around and around and dipped into the leaking slit.
"Jesus, Finn..." Lee buried his fingers in Finn's hair. "Stop teasing and suck it."
"Mmm..." Finn pressed his lips against Lee's shaft right beneath the head and ran them down the length of his dick. "In a minute."
A wet tongue lapped at Lee's balls. His ears rang from the pleasure coursing through him.
Finn lifted his head. "Isn't that your cell?"
"Huh?" Lee opened his eyes.
"Your phone's ringing."
"Oh shit." Lee hopped up and ran into the kitchen, where he'd left his phone. He plucked it off the counter and answered without even glancing at it to see who was calling. "Hello."
"Lee?" Dawn's voice sounded strained. "I'm in labor. We're on our way to the hospital."
"Ohmygod." He backtracked into the living room and plucked his jeans up off the floor. "I'm on my way."
"You might..." Dawn groaned and panted into the phone. "You might want to hurry. The contractions are coming on strong."
Lee jerked his pants on with one hand. "You just worry about getting to the hospital safely. I'll be there as soon as I can." He flipped the phone shut and dropped it on the sofa. His gaze was on Finn as he buttoned his pants. "I have to go. The baby's coming."
"Oh shit." Finn jumped up. "What can I do? Are you sure you don't want me to go with you?"
Lee hesitated, then shook his head. There was no sense in dragging Finn away from work and home for days on end---no matter how much he'd like to have his lover by his side. According to some of the websites he'd read, just the labor could take twelve hours or more. Some of the accounts he'd read even claimed it could be as much as twenty-four hours. He hoped like hell that Dawn wouldn't have to suffer so long. After the delivery, it would be days before the baby could be released from the hospital.
Lee pulled on his T-shirt and stomped into his sneakers, although he was forced to sit and tie the laces. "No, that's all right. You really don't have to come. I know you have to work and responsibilities here."
"I could get Fiona to watch Rowdy. She's done it before."
"That's okay. I promise I'll be all right and I'll call you as soon as I know something."
"All right. As long as you're sure..." Finn waited until Lee stood, then pulled him into his arms for a quick, tight hug. "Have a safe trip."
"I will." Lee gave himself a second to soak up Finn's care like a sponge. Before he was ready, he pulled away. "I really have to go."
Finn dropped his hands to his sides. "Go on, daddy. Go get your baby."
With a grin, Lee took off for the door and his waiting child. He was thankful he had a bag packed and waiting in the trunk of his car, because he wasn't stopping for anything.
\*
Halfway to Asheville, Dawn's wife texted Lee to congratulate him on the birth of a healthy baby girl. Lee's heart nearly exploded at the news. His hands were shaking so badly he had to pull over onto the side of the road.
I have a girl...
Tears welled in his eyes as disappointment crashed through him. He was overjoyed that Dawn and his daughter---his daughter!---were fine, but not being there for the delivery was something he'd never forgive himself for missing. He'd desperately yearned to see his child come into the world. Not being there for her first breath or her first cry broke his heart.
Lee took a deep breath, calmed his racing pulse, and pulled back out into traffic. The pads of his fingers itched to call Finn, but the need to get to the hospital and see his daughter overrode his desire to share the news with his lover. He could always call Finn from the hospital.
His nerves were strung tight by the time he finally arrived at the hospital. After parking, Lee hustled inside and hopped in the elevator, riding it up to the third floor. The pungent smell of disinfectant with a hint of sourness surrounded him as he exited and turned right. He stopped at the locked entrance to the maternity ward and lifted the receiver from its cradle. Waiting as it rang made him want to scream. Nervous anticipation ratcheted higher with every chime.
"Maternity ward," said a female voice.
"I'm here to see my child. The baby my surrogate, Dawn Cunningham, just delivered."
"Your name, sir."
"Sorry. I'm Lee Calder."
"Come on in, sir. Just turn left once you enter, and come to the nurse's station, please."
Something beeped and the door swung open. Anxiety blossomed in his gut and made his stomach clench as he made his way inside. This wasn't the way he'd imagined the event going. He should have arrived and been with Dawn through the delivery. Afterward he and his daughter would have been placed in a room of their own, preferably somewhere near Dawn so Lee could take the baby in to see her before they were discharged.
Now he was at a loss for what was supposed to happen next. Being out of sorts grated on his nerves and made him sweat during a time he should have been overjoyed. He wasn't looking forward to having to explain the situation over and over again until someone directed him to where he needed to be. Although he understood the need for all the rules and safeguards surrounding infants, he just wanted to cut through all the bullshit and get his child.
Lee approached the desk. "Hi. I'm Lee Calder. I'm here to see my daughter."
The nurse behind the desk, a young blond woman, looked away from the computer and met Lee's eyes. "Yes, sir. Could I see some ID, please? I just need to verify your identity."
"Sure." Lee dug his driver's license out of his wallet and handed it over.
The nurse took his license, glanced at it, then handed it back to Lee.
While Lee was replacing his wallet, the nurse scooted backward in the rolling chair and rose to her feet. "Ms. Cunningham's obstetrician, Dr. Ballard, has apprised everyone of the situation. We have you situated in a room next door to Ms. Cunningham." She came out from behind the desk. "If you'll just follow me, I'll show you where you're to room with the baby while you're here. Then I'll go and retrieve Baby Calder and bring her out to you."
Lee hustled to keep up with the long-legged nurse as she hustled down the hall and turned the corner. She stopped halfway down the corridor. "This is your room. Ms. Cunningham is in 310." She pointed to a closed door directly across the passage and then motioned for Lee to enter the room ahead of her. "If you want to go ahead and get settled, I'll be back in a moment with your daughter."
As soon as she turned and headed away, Lee crossed the room and sat on the edge of the bed. He pulled his cell phone out of the holder hanging on his belt and dialed Finn's number.
The phone barely rang before Finn answered. "Lee? Are you there? Has she had the baby?"
"I'm here." Lee's voice cracked with emotion. "I have a daughter."
"Oh God, Lee. That's great. You're a dad."
"I know. It's...unbelievable."
"Does the baby look like you?"
"I don't know. I haven't seen her yet. Dawn had her before I got here. The nurse is supposed to bring her to me any minute now." Lee exhaled a shaky breath. "God, I wish you were here."
"Me, too. I want to see the baby and, honestly, I miss you like crazy already."
"I know the feeling." A noise from the hallway made Lee look up in time to see the nurse entering the room pushing what looked like a clear plastic cradle on wheels. "I have to go. The nurse is bringing in the baby. I'll talk to you soon, love."
Lee hung up the phone and stood, meeting the nurse halfway. However, the woman might as well have been invisible. All his attention was on the tightly wrapped pink bundle inside the bassinet. Swaddled in blankets and covered with a pink cap, the baby's plump little face was all Lee could see.
"Mr. Calder."
Although it wasn't easy, Lee tore his attention away from his daughter and looked up. "Yes."
The nurse held out a laminated strip of white paper. "You'll need your bracelet. It gives you access to the nursery and your daughter."
"Thanks." He accepted the hospital bracelet and quickly wound it around his wrist. "Could you tell me how the feeding situation works while she's here? I mean, do I call the nursing station when she seems hungry or do I need to supply her formula myself? I didn't think to bring any until just now, but I can run out and buy what she needs."
The nurse smiled. "No, you don't need to worry about that. The hospital will provide what she needs until you're discharged. We're monitoring her intake, so we'll bring you a bottle when it's time for her to eat. In the meantime, there are supplies in the drawers beneath the bassinet---diapers and wipes and such. If you need anything else, all you have to do is push the call button."
"That's great. Thanks." As the nurse retreated, Lee moved over to the sink located by the en suite bathroom and scrubbed his hands clean.
After drying his hands and pitching the paper towels into the garbage, he returned to the bassinet and ever so gently glided it over beside the bed. The baby didn't stir a bit. He stared down at his daughter, almost afraid to pick her up. She seemed so tiny and fragile, like a porcelain doll that was meant to be put up on a shelf and admired but never touched. He might have sat there beside her and stared at her all night if his curiosity hadn't outweighed his fear.
Lee eased his hands beneath the baby. He placed one palm under her head and the other below her bottom, then carefully picked her up and cradled her in one arm, against his chest. Her weight felt slight, lending credence to the impression of fragility.
His fingers trembled as he slipped the cap from her head and laid it on the bed. Gazing down at his daughter, he traced the arc of her forehead and the curve of her plump little cheek. She was so pink...and perfect. He couldn't get over it.
With sparse hair the color of midnight, a tiny button nose, and a rosebud mouth, she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. Her eyelashes fluttered and lifted, revealing eyes of the deepest blue, and Lee felt his heart ache from the sudden flood of emotion. An invisible hand reached into Lee's chest and tightened until tears burned his eyes. How was it possible to love someone so much?
Lee gazed down at his daughter and said the only thing that popped into his mind. "Hello, Madison Olivia Calder. I'm your daddy."
\*
After Lee disconnected, Finn stood and stared down at the receiver in his hand.
Lee called me love.
Finn couldn't be sure, since Lee hadn't said any more afterward, but he felt confident Lee wasn't even aware of what he'd said. It had just spilled out by accident since Lee was so overwhelmed with emotion at the moment.
With dawning realization, Finn decided it didn't matter why Lee had said the four-letter word. Hearing it had only confirmed something Finn already knew. He was in love with Lee. He couldn't pinpoint when the emotion had blossomed into more, but it was the truth. For the first time in his life, he was in love.
A giddy sensation akin to the rush of snowboarding down a steep hill bombarded him. He laughed and garnered a funny look from Rowdy, who was sitting at his side on the sofa.
Fuck work. He needed to be with the man he loved right now. The shop could run without him for a day or two. Wasn't that why he employed people he could trust in the first place?
He picked up the phone and dialed the number of his assistant shop manager, already making plans for what he needed to accomplish.
Finn's nerves were twisted into knots as he checked in to a little motel directly off the interstate outside Asheville. They didn't calm one iota until after he'd called Lee, told his lover he was in town, and was assured of his welcome. The worry that plagued him vanished like week-old garbage the minute Lee rambled off his room number and told Finn to get his ass over to the hospital.
Once he realized his impulsive decision was okay, Finn couldn't wait to join Lee and see the baby. He hoped Maddy had her father's beautiful blue eyes. Even his sister, Fiona the oblivious, had commented on Lee's killer eyes and long lashes. Finn just liked how expressive they were. They lit up like Christmas when Lee was happy and dimmed when he was sad. Finn still felt like shit over being the cause the latter emotion. Although he couldn't change the past, he could damn sure make up for it. He planned to do everything in his power to make sure he never caused another unnecessary moment of pain for the man he loved.
Upon arriving at the hospital, Finn took a deep breath to settle his nerves and grabbed the huge plush teddy bear he'd bought for the baby. As far as he could tell, it was the only thing Lee hadn't already thought to buy for the nursery. He wished he'd known the baby's gender sooner so he could have bought a pink bow, but the large purple one would have to suffice. He hoped Lee would approve of the cute monstrosity.
Once he reached the maternity ward, he gave his name and destination and was granted entrance. The women behind the nurses' desk smiled at him as he walked by. He couldn't blame them. He probably looked more than a little goofy carrying a stuffed white bear almost as big as him.
Finding Lee's room was no problem. He knocked and waited, impatience filling every fiber of his being until he heard Lee call out for him to come in.
Finn lifted the bear up in front of him and pushed open the door. The smell of the room assaulted him---some mix of baby powder and stale milk. He wrinkled his nose. It was a strange aroma, but not entirely unpleasant.
Lee's laughter rang out through the small room. "Aw, how cute. You have to be the sweetest man ever."
"I'm glad you think so. I hoped you would like it." Finn set the toy in the chair by the bed. One glance at Lee's beaming expression convinced Finn he would joyfully spent the entire day surrounded by mounds of festering dirty diapers if it kept a smile on his lover's face. Even exhausted, Lee nearly glowed with happiness.
"Hey." He strode over the to hospital bed, where Lee sat holding the baby, and bent to kiss Lee's stubbly cheek. "Missed you."
"Me too." Lee turned his face and skimmed his lips over Finn's in a short, sweet kiss. "I'm glad you're here."
"I couldn't stay away." Finn sat beside Lee and leaned in, gazing down at the baby. Thanks to a plethora of liquid-antacid-colored blankets, he couldn't see much more than a wrinkled little face and bright red lips that kept puckering and releasing, as if she was dreaming about sucking a bottle. "She's beautiful, Lee."
"She is, isn't she?" Lee gazed down at his daughter. "I still can't believe she's here. It's like I've spent all my life waiting for a single moment and suddenly it's here."
"I may not know a lot about babies, but I know you, and I can't think of anyone who'd make a better dad."
"Thanks." Lee beamed at Finn. "Do you want to hold her?"
"Oh, I don't know. She's so tiny. What if I hold her too tight or drop her or something?" Finn gazed at the baby while using his teeth to tug at his lower lip.
"You won't drop her." Lee stood with the baby cradled against his chest. "Cross your arms." As soon as Finn bent his arms into position, Lee moved in front of him and gently placed Maddy into the crook of Finn's left arm. "It's easy. Just make sure you support her head."
"Okay." He already knew that from the torturous baby boot camp he and Lee had attended, but practicing with a doll was nothing compared to the real thing. Maddy was warm and soft, whereas the doll had been cold and inflexible. It was hard to believe something so precious and tiny was a real person. Her weight was so slight he might as well have been holding nothing but air.
Maddy stirred and wiggled. Her eyelashes lifted to reveal eyes the color of stormy seas. "Oh." Finn glanced up. "She opened her eyes."
Lee sat beside Finn, on the side closest to the Maddy. "I hope they stay blue, but I've heard babies' eyes can change color."
Finn hoped they turned the same shade as Lee's, but he wasn't sappy enough to say so. "I'm sure they'll be pretty no matter what color they wind up."
"Yeah. She's going to be a little heartbreaker."
Finn rocked Maddy back and forth and smiled at his lover. "Just like her father."
\*
Finn stayed at the hospital with Lee and Maddy until late, then retired to his motel room to sleep. He returned bright and early the next morning with muffins and coffee, well aware that Lee more than likely stayed up all night staring at the baby.
They settled in together, taking turns cooing at Maddy while they waited for her discharge to go through.
Lee paced the floor in the small room, nearly vibrating with tension. "What is taking so long?"
"These things take time." Finn set down the bottle he'd been using to feed Maddy, then lifted her up against his shoulder and patted her back. "Whoa, that was a good one."
"Oh yeah." Lee laughed. "That belch rivals some of yours."
"Very funny." Finn's grin was quickly replaced by a grimace as something hot and wet soaked through the back of his shirt. "Oh man. I think she slimed me."
"It just means she likes you. Haven't you ever heard that people only puke on the ones they love?"
"Uh-huh. I'll try to remember that for the next time I have the stomach flu."
"I bet. There'll be no upchucking on or near Maddy, though."
"Duh." As if he'd puke on a kid. How immature did Lee think he was? "I'm planning on saving all my projectile vomit for you, big boy."
Lee wrinkled his nose. "Aren't you sweet."
Finn was still laughing when the nurse finally came in with Maddy's discharge papers.
Sometime before dawn, Lee woke to hear the baby crying. He crawled out of bed, careful not to disturb Finn, and hurried into the nursery. Maddy's wails increased as he approached the crib and scooped her out of the bed. "There, there now. Daddy's here."
Maddy's little face rapidly changed from pink to fire-engine red. Her hands waved back and forth around her face as if she were trying to pantomime her need for a bottle.
Lee rocked her back and forth in the circle of his arms. He hummed the chorus to "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" on his way into the kitchen to warm a bottle and prayed it would soothe her. Sadly, his knowledge of lullabies was lacking. He'd have to fix that pronto unless she was interested in listening to him serenade her with lines from his favorite rock bands. Somehow, he imagined that would go over like a lead balloon.
Preparing bottles one-handed had been a bit of an adventure, especially during the first night Maddy had been home, when he was half asleep and grumpy as hell, but he thought he'd finally gotten the hang of it now, after three days of trial and error. The trick he'd found that worked for him was shifting Maddy onto his shoulder and freeing up his other hand for screwing on the nipple and testing the temperature of the formula.
He quickly put together the bottle and carried Maddy back into the nursery. Ever so gently, Lee settled in the rocking chair and shifted her into the crook of his arm. He pressed the nipple against her mouth and watched in awe as she sucked it in and began drinking.
Maddy stared up at him with heavy eyes as she siphoned formula from the bottle. The scent of baby powder and lotion swirled around her, making the entire room smell sweet. As she ate, he caressed the side of her soft little face and made silent promises to always be there for her when she needed him. Guilt occasionally slipped in through the cracks of his subconscious and made him regret that Maddy would never have a mom to turn to as she got older. All he could do was pray he would be enough and try to find female role models for her. Fiona seemed like as good a candidate as any. She was strong-willed and opinionated, like her brother, but had a softer side that Finn lacked. He hoped she would be around to help guide Maddy as she grew up.
Lee was a little surprised by how quickly Maddy had wrapped Finn around her little finger. For a man who'd been so terrified at the idea of children, he had quickly assimilated to the reality and jumped in to help out. Lee wasn't quite sure what he would have done without Finn's assistance over the last few days. Running short of sleep and patience, Lee feared he might have cracked under the strain if Finn hadn't been there to pitch in and take over so Lee could catch some shut-eye.
That morning, he'd even caught Finn telling Maddy how much he loved her. Jealousy wasn't a pretty emotion, but Lee had to admit he'd turned a little green with envy upon hearing those words directed at someone else. He longed to hear Finn say the same to him with equal sincerity.
Maddy dozed off with the bottle in her mouth. Lee eased the nipple out and gently placed her back in the crib, hoping she wouldn't stir. He resisted the urge to lean down and kiss her forehead, knowing it might wake her, and carried the dirty bottle into the kitchen.
Upon returning to the bedroom, he found Finn awake and lying on his back with his hands behind his head. The innocent pose would have worked better had Finn not been naked and hard. Not that Lee was complaining.
He crawled up the mattress and stretched out beside Finn. Leaning in close, he brushed his lips over Finn's. "Did I wake you?"
"No." Finn rolled into his side, facing Lee. "I just got hot while you were gone. There wasn't anyone in here to steal all the covers."
Lee wiggled out of his pajama pants and snuggled closer. "I don't hog the covers."
"Uh-huh." Finn kissed the tip of Lee's nose. "You don't snore either."
"That's right. I don't." Lee wrapped his arm around Finn's waist and ran his hand over the firm muscles in Finn's back.
"And"---Finn nuzzled Lee's throat---"you couldn't possibly have the energy to make love right now."
"Right." Lee arched his neck, giving Finn extra room to work. "Wait. What?"
Finn snickered and kissed the curve of Lee's neck. "I was wondering when you would catch on."
"Stop talking." Lee caught Finn's lips with his own and set about proving just how little sleep he needed in order to have sex with the man he loved.
As twilight crept through the blinds, they made slow and gentle love, lingering over each kiss and touch. The sun was rising long before they collapsed in a tangle of arms and legs and drifted off to sleep wrapped up in each other.
Lee's three weeks of paternity leave flew by in the blink of an eye. The Sunday before Lee was due to return to work, Finn arranged to host a cookout in Lee's backyard. He invited Lee's close-knit group of friends, as well as Fiona and her flavor of the month. Finn thought the guy's name was Dale, or Dave maybe, but he wouldn't swear to it. There was really no point in learning his name, because Fiona went through men faster than she changed her bloomers.
In an effort to keep things simple and stress free, Finn picked up a big package of steaks from the local grocery store, as well as a dozen prewashed and wrapped baking potatoes he would just have to pop into the microwave. Fiona volunteered to make a big batch of preacher cookies to satisfy Lee's sweet tooth.
The morning of the cookout started out cool. By noon, the temperature had risen to a balmy eighty degrees. The clear blue sky promised to stay clear for the afternoon. It was shaping up to be a beautiful day.
Finn spent the morning helping Lee straighten up the house and keeping Maddy entertained, which wasn't a difficult task. He loved holding the baby and making her smile. Lee said all the baby books he read claimed that early smiles were really caused by gas. Finn didn't buy that for a minute. She was smiling at him. All it took was a funny face or blowing on her round tummy and he was rewarded with a gummy little grin that made his insides melt with love and tenderness. He couldn't believe how easy it was to love Maddy. He could only imagine the depth of emotion Lee felt for her. It had to be staggering.
Although Finn had no problem telling Maddy how much he loved her, he was scared shitless of saying the same three words to her father. Time after time he'd started to tell Lee how he felt, only to be interrupted or chicken out at the last minute. He didn't know what his problem was. He was almost positive Lee returned his feelings. Hadn't he practically said as much the night Maddy was born? Sure, Lee had been out of his mind with sentimentality at the time, but he wouldn't have called Finn love unless he'd meant it. Right?
The highlight of Finn's day was coming home to Lee and Madison. So much so that he found himself staying over more and more often, not wanting to return to his house.
I wonder how Lee would feel about living together...
He brushed that idea aside before it could take root. One thing at a time. First, he needed to have the feelings-and-relationship talk with Lee. As much as he yearned to say the words and hopefully hear them in return, he was dreading the actual conversation. Heart-to-hearts were not his thing. If at all possible, he avoided them like a bad case of the clap. Some people might be good with words, all charming and suave, but he was not one of them. He was much better at actions, which was why he always tried to work hard at showing Lee he would be there for the long haul. He stuck around through the sleepless nights, when it would have been easy to go home and rest. He helped Lee around the house and usually swung by Fiona's restaurant to pick up dinner on his way home from work. Hell, he even changed diapers, although some of the smells made him want to spew. He fervently hoped Lee was able to read between the lines and discern how much Finn cared.
The uncertainty was driving him insane. He needed to spill the beans and get it over with. The worst that could happen was an awkward pause while Lee tried to figure out how to let Finn down gently, or worse, no response at all. On the other hand, it could be the best few moments of his life. Only time would tell. He wouldn't know anything until he manned up and admitted how he felt.
Finn resolved to speak his piece later that night, after everyone left and Maddy was fast asleep.
With that thought in mind, Finn stood and handed Maddy off to Lee, who'd just entered the living room. "I'm going to run next door and drag over the picnic table and the grill before everyone gets here."
"All right." Lee cradled Maddy against his chest and leaned forward for a kiss, which Finn happily provided. "All I have left to do is change out of these sweats and put Maddy in one of her cute little outfits. Then we'll be set. Give me a shout if you need a hand."
"Sure. I'll be back in a few."
\*
Lee watched Finn go with a smile. He couldn't believe how well things had been going lately. Having Maddy put a bit of a slump on their sex life, if only because Lee was exhausted all the time, but after three weeks he finally felt as if he was a little bit ahead of the learning curve. He wouldn't turn down a few extra hours of sleep a night, but he was confident he could change diapers with eyes closed and one hand tied behind his back.
Although apprehensive about letting Maddy out of his sight, he was looking forward to returning to work. He wasn't sure how he'd feel about it if he had to spend forty hours a week at the hospital, but luckily he didn't have that problem. For the time being, all his current clients were scheduled to come to his house.
While parenting could be fatiguing, Maddy was a real joy. There were still times he had to pinch himself to be sure she was real. The love he felt for Maddy was so large and all-encompassing it was damn near terrifying. However, he wouldn't have it any other way.
After laying Maddy down in the crib and turning on the mobile to entertain her, Lee shaved and took a quick shower. Since it was just friends coming over, he slipped into his favorite jeans and pulled on a clean navy blue T-shirt. Barefoot, he padded back into the nursery and dressed Maddy in a simple purple dress that came with matching bloomers to cover her diaper. White ruffles trimmed the hem and leg holes.
He picked Maddy up and kissed her chubby cheek. "Aren't you just Daddy's pretty little girl."
The doorbell rang. While holding Maddy, Lee answered the door and found Fiona and a short brunet man standing on his porch. Fiona was holding a large covered tray. "Hey guys, come on in."
"Thanks." Fiona brushed passed Lee with her boyfriend hot on her heels.
Lee closed the door and followed them upstairs and into the kitchen. "You can just set that wherever you want for now. Finn just ran over to get the picnic table for us. He should be back in a minute."
"Great." Fiona rested the pan on the counter by the fridge, then moved to stand beside her man and set a hand on his shoulder. "Dale, I'd like you to meet Maddy, and Lee, my brother's beau."
"Hi." Dale smiled. "It's nice to meet you."
"Likewise." Lee hefted Maddy higher against his chest as the doorbell rang once again.
"Here." Fiona held her hands out. "Let me take Maddy while you get the door."
"All right." Lee reluctantly handed Maddy over. "Just make sure you support her head and don't jiggle her around very much. It makes her sick."
"Got it." Fiona chuckled. "I promise I won't drop her."
"Better not." Lee mock-scowled at her. "You guys can have a seat if you want." He waved at the living room. "I'll be right back."
Sal and his gym-bunny boyfriend, Jack, were waiting outside. Lee let them in and ushered them upstairs. He'd barely gotten a chance to make introductions before he was summoned back to the door.
He yanked it open and smiled. "Jimmy. It's about time you got here."
"You know me---always fashionably late. Besides, I had to stop and pick up Ted." He pointed his thumb over his shoulder toward Ted, who stood quietly behind him.
"And I thank you for doing so."
"No sweat." Jimmy skirted around Lee and headed up the stairs, more than familiar with the house.
Lee directed his gaze to Ted. "Hey Ted. I'm glad you could make it."
"I wouldn't miss it. I'm looking forward to meeting your little girl."
"You and everyone else." Happiness welled inside Lee. Although he'd been skeptical at first, he was so glad Finn had suggested a cookout. It was going to be a great day. "Come on in. Sal and Jack, as well as Finn's sister, Fiona, and her boyfriend, Dale, are already upstairs. You're going to have to fight Fiona for the baby, though. She has Maddy right now."
"Well, we'll just have to see about that." Ted pulled Lee in to a quick hug and slapped his back. "Congrats, buddy. I'm so happy for you."
"Thanks." Lee returned the embrace. "That means the world, Ted."
Ted released Lee and stepped back. "Now, how about you take me to the newest member of our little family."
"Sure." Lee grinned. "I can't wait for you to see Maddy. She's the prettiest baby ever, if I do say so myself."
Finn was digging around in the garage, trying to find starter fluid for the grill, when the thud of footsteps caught his attention. He turned to find Pete standing just inside the entrance to the garage. He hadn't thought his ex would have the nerve to show up there again. "What the hell are you doing here?"
Pete stuck his hands in the pocket of his jeans. "I just want to talk."
"I'm busy and I don't really have anything to say to you."
"I only need a minute. Please?" Pete rocked back on his heels.
"Fine. Talk."
"I...I miss you." Pete moved closer. "Things aren't working out with Rebecca."
"I wasn't enough for you then. What makes you think I will be now?"
"That's not true. I didn't leave because you weren't enough. I just wanted a family, kids..."
Finn scowled. "Well, I still don't have a womb, so nothing has really changed."
"Do you have to be such a smart-ass?"
"Yes." Looking at Pete now, Finn could scarcely believe he'd once thought he was in love with the schmuck.
"I'm trying to be serious here. This is important to me."
"Why should I give a shit? I'm sure it's important to your wife---your very pregnant wife---that you stay at home and attend to her needs instead of being here, sniffing around my ass like a bitch in heat."
"Please, Finn."
"Fine. What-the-fuck-ever. Say what you need to, then go. I have people waiting on me."
"Jesus, Finn. Is that the best you can do? We used to be close. You used to love me."
"Used to being the operative words." Finn didn't understand why Pete wouldn't just take the hint and leave. He had better things to do than stand there and rehash the past.
"I don't think so. Love like ours doesn't just disappear. I still love you and I know you love me." Pete grabbed Finn's face in both hands and crushed his lips down over Finn's.
"You bastard!"
Finn jerked out of Pete's hold and turned to see Lee standing at the entrance to the garage. "Lee... This isn't what it looks like."
"Really? Because it looked to me like he had his fucking tongue down your throat."
"Um, yeah. About that---"
"Just save it," Lee said, cutting Finn off. "I don't want to hear anything else."
"Goddamn it, Lee. Stop! If you would just wait one damn minute and let me explain." Finn grabbed Lee's arm, desperate to be heard out.
"Get your hands off me." Lee twisted around. He slammed his fist into Finn's nose and mouth, propelling him backward. His mouth snapped closed and his teeth clamped down on his tongue as his ass hit the grass with a jarring thud.
"Fuck." Pain reverberated in Finn's head as he lifted a hand to cover the lower half of his face. "You hit me."
"And if you come near me, I'll do it again. I may have been foolish enough to believe we had something together once, but I won't make that mistake a second time."
Stunned, Finn sat in the grass and watched Lee storm back across the yard and into his home. If someone had asked before right that very second, he would have said Lee didn't have a violent bone in his body.
Lee must have been really damn upset to resort to physical violence. In spite of Finn's anger toward Pete and the entire fucked-up situation, knowing Lee was so upset at the perceived wrong made Finn wanted to crow. Lee must love him. He had to. Otherwise, he wouldn't have behaved so boorishly. Assured of Lee's feelings, all Finn had to do was fix things between them before it was too late. He'd happily suffer through another punch or two in order to make Lee listen to him.
With that thought in mind, Finn dragged his ass off the ground and went in search of Pete. He knew the asshole couldn't have gone far. Pete was too nosy to leave before witnessing everything there was to see.
\*
Lee stormed inside his house and slammed the door behind him. He wanted nothing more than to curl up in a ball and lick his wounds. That wasn't going to happen. He had a daughter to see to and a house full of guests waiting on a lunch that wasn't going to happen, because the man with the grill was a lying, two-timing bastard.
He came to a complete stop halfway up the stairs and squeezed his eyes shut, hoping he could disappear. Oh God. Fiona is here.
On top of having his heart stomped to smithereens, he was going to have to make nice with the lying asshole's sister. As much as Lee adored Fiona, he wasn't sure he could stand being around her. The resemblance to Finn was too strong.
"Hey, Lee!" Jimmy hollered. "What's the holdup? I'm starving." He appeared at the top of the stairs and gazed down at Lee. "Hey... What's wrong? You look like someone kicked your dog."
Ah hell...That reminded him Rowdy was still running around in his backyard. "He's not my dog."
"Whatever." Jimmy rolled his eyes and trotted down the steps to meet Lee. "Tell me what's going on. Maybe I can help."
"Trust me, you can't." Not unless he magically morphed into a veterinarian and volunteered to neuter the asshole who'd just broken Lee's heart.
Jimmy leaned against the wall. "Try me."
Before Lee could respond, the front door burst open and slammed into the wall. He whipped around to find Finn crossing the threshold, followed by the prick Finn had been locking lips with a few moments earlier. Misery curled inside Lee's gut.
"What the hell?" Jimmy muttered. "Someone better tell me what's going on."
"Stay out of this, Jimmy." As much as he appreciated Jimmy's protective streak, this mess was between him and Finn. Lee didn't spare his friend a glance. All his attention was on Finn. "You have a lot of nerve coming in here, much less bringing him with you. I should kick---"
"Wait!" Finn winced and then spoke again, this time in a lower decibel. "If you care about me at all, just shut the hell up and listen for a minute."
Passive listening was not what he had in mind. Castrating Finn sounded better by the minute. He could always plead temporary insanity. Instead, he pressed his lips together and glared. He'd give Finn thirty seconds. As far as he was concerned, that was being generous.
"I know what you think you saw, but it wasn't the way it appeared. I would never---absolutely never---betray your trust like that." Finn dragged the slim redhead forward. "This is Pete. He's the ex I told you about. Go on, Pete, tell Lee the truth. Let him know what really happened."
"I, um..." The redhead---Pete---glanced at Finn, then Lee. "Shit. I'm sorry, man. I came over to try to hook back up with Finn, but I didn't know he was seeing someone. What you saw was my attempt to force him into admitting he still had feelings for me. I kissed him. He didn't kiss me back."
"Finn..." Lee swallowed. "Is that true?"
"I swear it's the truth. I love you and Maddy. I wouldn't intentionally do anything to hurt either one you."
"Oh God." Everyone else might as well have disappeared as Lee stumbled down the steps separating them. He gazed into Finn's eyes, trying to gauge his sincerity. "You love me?"
"Yes. Hell yes. I've been racking my brain trying to come up with the perfect time and place to tell you. I wanted to plan something spectacular and romantic for when I confessed my feelings. I wanted something so perfect you wouldn't be able to say no when I suggested we move in together." Finn laid his hands on Lee's shoulders and squeezed. "This isn't what I had in mind, but I think I've finally realized something important. I don't need one special moment to let you know how I feel. I want to be able to say the words to you every single day we're together. In order to do that, I need you to believe me right now. You have to trust me, Lee. Please. We won't make it if we can't believe in each other."
"I---" Lee floundered, overwhelmed by the jumble of emotions crowding inside him. On one hand, he thought he should be suspicious of Finn's motives for saying the L word right then. No matter how sincere Finn appeared, the timing was a little too convenient. On the other, he wanted nothing more than to throw himself at Finn.
There was no doubt about the way he felt toward Finn---he was in love with him and had been for a long while. Was love enough, though? Indecision kept Lee rooted to the spot where he stood. He was petrified of making the wrong choice. "I want to trust you. I really do, but..." He lowered his voice to barely above a whisper, ashamed of what he was about to admit. "I'm scared."
"You think I'm not?" Finn smiled sadly. "I'm afraid of a lot of things. Mostly, I'm scared of losing you."
Lee's resistance melted faster than microwaved ice cream. Before he could act, he heard a voice clearing behind him. He craned his neck to see all his guests standing on the upper landing, staring down at them. Maddy was safely wrapped up in Ted's big arms. Lee figured he'd have a sitter right there whenever he wanted one. Finn's ex must have slipped out, because he was nowhere in sight. Thank goodness.
Jimmy stood out in front of the rest. "Lee, so help me, if you don't kiss that man right now, I'm not going to play with reindeer games with you anymore."
Finn caught Lee's chin in his fingertips and gently eased it around until Lee was once again facing him. "You heard the man. Lay one on me."
Lee was smiling as he leaned forward and did as he was told. By the time they pulled apart, the voyeurs above had scattered. Now that they were left alone, there was only one thing on Lee's mind. "I love you too, you know?"
"Thank God." Finn sighed. "You have no idea how long I've been dying to say something. I just wasn't sure how you felt, and I didn't want to jinx anything. Things were going so well."
"I'm glad you finally did, even if the circumstances were so shitty."
"Yeah, but I definitely learned something important." Finn laughed and fingered the reddened tip of his nose. "From now on I know better than to piss you off."
"Oh Christ..." Lee had forgotten about punching Finn. "I'm so sorry about that. I don't know what came over me. I've never hit anyone in my life."
Finn shook his head. "It's okay. I might have done the same thing if the situation was reversed."
Lee buried his face in Finn's neck and hugged him tight, amazed by his lover's willingness to forgive. "What did I ever do to deserve you?"
"Just by being you. Do you remember how you promised you wouldn't let me screw this up?" Finn rubbed Lee's back and kissed the side of his neck. "Well, I figured it was only fair to return the favor. Besides, I couldn't let a little pissant like Pete ruin the best thing that's ever happened to me. You and Maddy...you're my family. You mean the world to me."
"I feel the same way about you." God knew Finn owned him, body and soul. Lee breathed in the scent of Finn's skin and felt something loosen inside him. The tension he'd been carrying for so long was missing. In its place, warmth blossomed anew. Confident of Finn's love and commitment, Lee felt ready to take on the world.
He squeezed Finn tight one more time and pulled back. Looking into Finn's eyes, Lee offered up the only thing he had left to share. "Come on. Let's go join everyone else and find our girl."
"Our girl." Finn beamed at Lee, positively radiant. "I really like the sound of that."
Amanda Young
Amanda Young is a multi-published erotic romance author. Since she tends to write whatever strikes her whimsy, all of her novels fall into various subgenres. Among her many available titles you'll find contemporary and paranormal settings, gay and straight themes alike. You never know what merry adventure her evil muse will devise next.
To learn more about Amanda, please visit her website: www.AmandaYoung.org.

