
Anne Hampson
AN EAGLE SWOOPED
••
Tessa had loved Paul Demetrius from the start, but from the moment she introduced him to her beautiful sister Lucinda he had had eyes for no one else, until at last, unable to bear seeing the two of them together, Tessa had gone away. Now, two years later, she was home again, expecting to hear that they were married only to learn that they had never in fact married, that after a terrible accident in which Paul had been blinded Lucinda had walked out on him and he was now living the life of a recluse in Cyprus. So Tessa took her courage in both hands, went out to Cyprus pretending to be Lucinda, begged Paul's forgivenessand married him. Would her love be strong enough to stand the strain of living such a lie? And what if Paul ever found out?
Mills & Boon Classics
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All the characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the Author, and have no relation whatso(J'{}cr to anyone bearing the same name or names. They arc not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the Author, and all the incidents are pure invention. The text of this publication o'r any part thereof may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical) including photocopying, 'recording, storag? in an information retrieval system, or otherwise,
tsithout the uniuen permission of the publislrer.
CHAPTER. I
HOME from her wanderings, but for how long? Turning her car into the drive Tessa covered the last few yards of her journey from Greece. The whole family or nearly the whole farnily came out to welcome her.
Tessa hugged her mother, and' her two young brothers in turn. Her father, tall and greying and with a permanent expression of wistfulness on his lined and sallow face, was the last to take her in his arms.
'Home for good?' he asked hopefully.
'Perhaps---Oh, Mum and Dad, it's so marvellous to see you.'
'And us.' said Tommy and Billy together,
'And you, my pets---I almost said little pets, but how you've grown!'
They entered the house; Mrs. Blane went into' the kitchen to make tea and the boys went off to finish their homework which Tessa's arrival had interrupted. She and her father sat there for a while, talking about Tessa's job and her friends abroad and the places she had seen. And then, during a lull, she said hesitantly, 'Lucinda ... she's .. , they're living somewhere closer'
Before her father had time to reply Mrs. Blane appeared with the tea tray. 'You have it with Dad, while I go and see to your bed. I haven't made it up, because you didn't say today. We expected you tomorrow.'
'I didn't make' as many stops as I intended to.' She 'smiled up at her mother. She was just the same, thought Tessa; her hair, white in places but attractively styled. her soft brown eyes ... and of course her voice. It was always the voice one noticed about Mrs. Blane. 'Something went wrong with the vocal chords.' the doctor had once said, laughing. 'A mutation, but of the most attractive kind.' Clear and low and sweet, like music on the still night air. And Mrs. Blane had passed that beautiful voice on to both her daughters, Her looks she had passed on to Tessa only. Lucinda had her inheritance from her grandmother, in her youth a lovely young goddess with pale gold hair and eyes like cornflowers newly opened.
'I'll do your bed.' Mrs. Blane repeated. 'You're in your own room, with Lucinda.'
'Lucinda?' Tessa's face paled and a sudden trembling seized her. 'They're not married yet!'
Her parents shot a glance at each other and then Mrs. IBlane said hastily, 'I'll leave you to get your tea---'
'But, Mother---' her husband began in urgent tones.
'You're much better at explaining than I,' she interrupted, and a moment later the door closed quietly behind her.
'Father, what is it? Is Lucinda still engaged to to Paul?'
'She's engaged, but not to Paul. Er are you going to pour the tea, Tessa?'
Mechanically she picked up the teapot. 'Tell me what happened? Where's Paul?'
'My girlie.' her father sighed, 'you've been away two years. You told us, No, you actually forbade us to send you any news of Lucinda and Paul---'
'You know why that was. I couldn't bear it.' She put the 'teapot down again and picked up the cream jug. 'Lucinda married ... Lucinda expecting a baby ... Paul a proud father.' She shook her head emphatically.
'No, I didn't want you and Mum to write to me about those things.'
'And so we did as you requested, and never mentioned either of them. You see, child, they were out driving together and there was a dreadful accident---' '
'An accident I' Her eyes dilated. 'He's he's ... dead?' 'Not dead.' He gave a deep sigh and looked at her searchingly. 'You still love him? Surely, my Tessa, you've got over it by now?'
'Tell me about the accident she urged, the tea forgotten. 'If he isn't dead, then why aren't they married? How can 'she be engaged to someone else?'
'He's blind, Tessa.'
She stared, unable to take it in. Paul, so perfect in body, so proud and self possessed, with the superior confidence of some Greek god. Tessa shook her head. 'No, ... no, he can't be!'
'Incurably blind, as a result of the accident.' Mr. Blane", voice shook. 'Lucinda gave him up.'
Tessa half rose in her chair and then sat down again.
This wasn't true! Lucinda had cared too much. 'They were madly in love---' She broke ~as her father shook his head.
'One sided, as it turned out. We were all angry and disgusted with Lucinda at the time, but after a while we became resigned to her action. And perhaps it was asking too much to expect her to be bound to a blind man for the rest of her life. She's such a beautiful girl.'
Beautiful, yes, and Tessa herself so plain. That was why, after he had met Lucinda, Paul had eyes for no one else.
'What exactly happened?'
'It's just a year ago now. The car overturned. Paul was driving too fast---'
"Paul never drove fast; he was a very careful driver!'
'This time he was apparently driving too fast.' He' paused and a frown creased his brow. 'Lucinda wouldn't say much at all. But she did insist he was driving too fast.'
Tessa thought about this, Lucinda wouldn't lie, and yet, , , Tessa recalled the night she had met Paul, the night that had changed her whole life and brought untold misery in its wake, Paul had offered her a lift home, and she had mentally noted his care on the road and the safe speed at which he drove,
'The car overturned, you say? Lucinda wasn't hurt, apparently?'
'She was flung clear, 'The car burst into flames and Paul was badly burned.'
'His face?'
'No, strangely nothing but his hands.' 'But his sight?'
'Shock, so they said, It appears a severe shock can cause blindness.'
'Shock?' Somehow Tessa felt there was something wrong, but although she questioned her father she learned no more, for as he had said, Lucinda was reticent about the accident, both at the time and since, 'It's definitely permanent?' Blindness resulting from shock could often be cured, '
'Paul's a wealthy man, as you know, and every doctor of any note was called in, He had a period of treatment in hospital, but it proved fruitless, All the doctors were unanimous in their verdicts; there's no cure.'
'And so Lucinda threw him over?' Tessa said almost to herself. Her father's face clouded, but he made no reply, and Tessa went on to ask where Paul was now. 'Does he still have his flat in London?'
'No, he went away somewhere to live on a Greek island, I think.' He poured the tea and put Tessa's cup in front of her,
'A Greek island? Which one?'
'I couldn't say.' He glanced anxiously at her, 'Forget him, girlie, Find yourself a nice young man and settle down, As things have turned out Paul is not for either of you.'
She looked into her cup, a sigh escaping her. 'Lucinda's now engaged again, you say?'
'To a very nice boy well, he's not a boy exactly, He's a year older than Lucinda twenty seven, He adores her.'
Everyone adored Lucinda, with her pale beauty and that ability to appear so sweet and unsophisticated, 'They're to be married soon?'
'In June.' He shook his head at her. 'You should have let us give you the news, girlie,' he said on a note of reproof,
'Yes, I should, But you see, I thought they'd have been married long ago.' She paused, 'This Greek island, Have you no idea at all which one it is?'
'Not the faintest, It might not even be a Greek island but it's definitely an island.'
She frowned, Why this urge to know where Paul was?
What had he done to her in those few brief hours? A happy, carefree girl she had been until that fateful evening when he had entered into her life,
'Is there no way of finding out about this island?'
'Tessa, my love, forget him, You'll marry a nice---'
'Father,' she said, a break in her voice, 'I'll. never marry,'
'This isn't a very sensible attitude.' he began, when the door opened and in walked Lucinda, saying, 'That car" .whose is it ? Tessa, how good to see you And how brown you are, Why, it makes you look quite attractive ' Lots of questions, effusive smiles and much hand waving and yet Lucinda had never taken the trouble to write even one letter to her in two years.
Lucinda suddenly stopped speaking, and she and her father glanced at one another. But no more was said about Paul until the two girls were in their bedroom Lucinda getting ready for her date with Gerald, and Tessa changing in preparation for a visit to one of Paul's friends. She had rung joe earlier and made the date, for her parents had previously arranged to attend a concert, 'and the two boys were going to the Scouts.
'We'll not go.' her father had said, but Tessa would not hear of their cancelling the arrangements. It suited her to have the evening free, for she had an irrepressible desire to find out where Paul was living.
'I expect they told you all about it' Lucinda had put on her dress and was busy with her hair. 'They kept it from you because you said you didn't want to hear anything about Paul and me.'
'It would have hurt too much.' admitted Tessa frankly. She watched her sister with the comb. 'The accident Father didn't seem to know what had happened.'
'Because I couldn't tell them very much. I was unconscious.' A pause and then, 'Paul's blind, Father would tell you that'
Tessa flinched at the casual manner in which Lucinda spoke of Paul's tragic affliction.
'How could you throw him over' she Whispered huskily. .
'For heaven's sake don't preach! I had enough of that from Mum and Dad. You'd all have had me marry him, but I'd have been the one to suffer. Just imagine spending your life with a man who can't see you ' She patted a stray hair into place and surveyed herself in the mirror, 'What's the use of looking like this if you can't be seen ?'
Yes, so very beautiful. .. , No wonder Paul had never spared a glance for Tessa from the moment she had introduced him to her sister.
Moving alongside Lucinda, she faced herself in the mirror and took a dispassionate assessment of her looks. High cheekbones, it was true, but somehow nature had not formed the contours attractively. A mouth the same size and shape as Lucinda's, yet lacking some indefinable thing that made all the difference to its appearance. But her eyes were widely spaced and honest, with a tender light in their soft brown depths never seen in the eyes of her sister. And she did have lovely hair, Tessa owned to herself. The colour of deepest honey, with tints of copper and gold, it fell in half waves on to her shoulders. No, not exactly plain, she decided, touching her nose and wondering what difference it would make to her appearance were it to be turned up not quite so much. No, not plain, but by comparison to Lucinda ... It was no wonder the boys passed Tessa by when her beautiful sister happened to be around.
'I still don't understand how you could give him up.' Tessa spoke almost to herself. 'He's still the same man, even though he's blind.'
Lucinda turned angrily and Tessa stepped back, away from' the mirror.
'I'd no intention of being tied to a blind man all my life, and that's all there is to it!' exclaimed Lucinda, her colour rising. 'Besides, there were his hands..---' She broke off, shuddering, and Tessa said with difficulty,
'Were they badly burned?'
"Terribly oh, they must be so hideous I've never seen them, because they were bandaged, but I can't bear to think about them and 'I could never bear him to touch me!'
Tears welled up in Tessa's eyes; surreptitiously she brushed them away before her sister could see.
'They're the same hands that once touched you,' she quietly reminded her, and Lucinda shuddered again. 'How was it that his hands were burned, and no other parts of his body?' Tessa asked, and now an angry glint entered Lucinda' s eyes.
'I've told you, I know nothing about it!'
'Couldn't Paul tell you anything? You saw him in hospital, I presume?' .
'I saw him, yes, but he told me nothing.' .
'It all seems most strange,' Tessa murmured thoughtfully, and It flashed across her mind that Lucinda was lying.
'Strange? Why should it seem strange?' Suddenly a harsh laugh broke. 'If he burnt himself it was his own fault, and that's all I'm going to say about it! Oh, for pity's sake don't look at me like that! You'd have married him, wouldn't you? You would have been all heroic and sacrificed yourself? Well, I wasn't being such a fool---' She laughed again as a thought occurred to her. 'Why don t you go and offer your sympathy? He might be interested in you now even glad to marry you, for I'm sure no one else will have him.'
Although she flinched at her sister's words Tessa managed to say calmly, .'At the end ... when you told him, what did he say?'
"Oh, Just acted as I expected him to, that is, pretended to be so incredulous, as if he couldn't take it in but of course it was all an act.'
'I don't think Paul would feel like putting on an act at a time like that.'
'Can't see anything wrong in him, can you?' sneered Lucinda with the light of humour in her eyes. 'Well,
perhaps this will convince you of his pomposity. He said if I ever changed my mind and asked his forgiveness he would take me back. Now, what do you think of that for self conceit'
'He must love you very much, to be able to forgive what you've done to him,' Tessa said, her eyes pensively watching Lucinda as she applied the last touch of makeup to her face. Lucinda merely shrugged, and Tessa swallowed a tight little lump in her throat.' To be so dearly loved, and to toss that love so carelessly' aside .... 'Gerald,' she said, 'what's he like?'
'Wonderful! ' Lucinda's eyes glowed. 'We're madly in love!'
Feeling suddenly quite sick, Tessa glanced at the clock . Yes, there was time for a bath. She wanted to get
away from Lucinda, and a few minutes later she was lying in the water, her mind going back to that day when she had known she must leave her home, go somewhere where she would not see Paul and Lucinda together. Most opportunely the post had come relief teacher in Germany. From there she had gone to Turkey, then the Lebanon and finally to Greece. This last was a private post lasting a mere three months. Then the desire to return to England ... even though she knew the first sight of Paul would probably undermine her determination to settle down again in a comfortable teaching post in her own country. Going to Greece had not been a good idea either, for it was his country, although he had, until the accident, lived in England for a numher of years".
Getting out of the bath, Tessa wrapped herself in a towel and went into the bedroom, having heard Lucinda go down some five minutes or so previously. The two divans were covered with beautiful lace quilts which Tessa had sent over just a few weeks before coming home herself. The carpet was thick and the furniture good and highly polished. This was the room she and Lucinda had shared since they were quite small.
She had dropped the towel when she swiftly retrieved it and wrapped it around her again. Lucinda had come" back for something---
'Can I corne in?' A man's voice, accompanied by a loud knock.
'No certainly not! '
'Oh, now, why the modest pose all at once? I'm coming in, my lovely Lucinda! '
Gerald, Lucinda's fiance.
Tessa sped to the dressing room and entered, slamming the door behind her and turning the key. What had prompted this act she could not have said. She had merely to inform him of his mistake and he would instantly go away again. The bedroom door opened. A soft whistle was all Tessa heard for a moment, and then, 'What perfume! Come out of there, and don't be so silly.'
'I'm dressing.''
'So what?'
'Mum and Dad---'
They've gone out, or I wouldn't have come up. Who's is the car outside?'
'Never mind. Go away.'
'What is the matter with you?' The door handle turned; Tessa's eyes were fixed fascinatedly upon it as if expecting the lock to become ineffective. She gathered the towel more tightly around her, realizing she was trembling from head to foot. 'My lovely Lucinda, you baffle me. So shy, after all we've been to one another---'
'I'm not your lovely Lucinda.' Her trembling increased as she awaited his reply.
'Oh, so we're to have a tiff, are we? And 'then the grand reconciliation.'
Tessa heaved a deep sigh before she finally said,
'I imagine you must be Gerald. I'm Tessa, , Lucinda's sister, and that's my car outside.'
Joe came for her at seven o'clock.
'You haven't changed a bit! ' was his not very gratifying exclamation. 'Tell me all about your travels?' They were in the car, purring along towards the road house where they were' to dine. 'I'd have written, but you never sent me your address, even though you promised.'
She talked, as he wanted her to, but made no comment on his last remark. All she had desired at that time was to cut herself off from' everyone who had known Paul.
'You've had an exciting time.' he said, pulling up on the car park outside the hotel. 'I quite envy you.'
They sat in the lounge, drinking sherry and chatting, and it was only when they had started their dinner that Tessa broached the Subject uppermost in her mind. 'Joe, you're Paul's friend. You know what happened?'
'So that's what you wanted to see me for,' he observed after a small pause. 'And I flattered myself it was my
entertaining" company that attracted you. Still in love with him?'
'Does everyone know?' she faltered.
'When the kid" sister has a crush on the elder sister's bloke everyone is bound to know. You didn't hide it
very,well, Tessa! .
"No, I suppose not.' Kid sister? She was a mere two years younger than Lucinda, but she looked much less than her twenty four years. 'It was far more than a crush, Joe; she finished softly.
'Silly girl but sillier Paul.' His lips suddenly tightened. Never had Tessa seen the placid Joe looking so angry. 'I was his friend, but he's cut himself off from everyone here.' '
'You know where he's living? Father says he's on a Greek island.'
'No.' Joe shook his head. 'Cyprus. Has a house there, right in the mountains. Lives as a recluse. Heard it from some people who've just come home after living there for a year. He's considered odd.' Joe noticed she was not eating and added, 'Your fish is getting cold.'
'Yes.' She paid attention to it, her brow creased thoughtfully. Cyprus. She had visited it; but never spent more than a couple of nights there. But it was so beautiful ... and Paul could not see it. Not the mountains or the sea; not the lonely stretches of unspoiled beach or the ancient cities, long deserted and overgrown; not the churches or the castles, or the groves of oranges and flower covered hillsides. He could not witness the marvellous sunsets, or the equally wonderful sunrises. All he would know would he the warm breeze on his face, the song of the birds in spring and the incessant chirping of the cicadas in summer, and, should he ever come down from his mountain retreat, he would hear the gentle lapping of the waves on the shore and the rustle of the dried up vegetation as lizards scurried away underneath, or came from there to find a place in the sun on a wall or bench of a tree. 'Joe, the accident what exactly happened?'
'Your sister hasn't told you?' His voice was hard and grim.
'She was unconscious and doesn't remember anything.'
'She knows what happened, nevertheless because I told her.'
'You?' She looked bewilderedly at him, and he went on to say that on hearing of the accident be had gone straight to the hospital. For the first couple of days Paul had not been allowed visitors, but on the third day Joe had been admitted, although only for a few minutes, for no sooner had he entered the ward than Paul began rambling. The nurse was promptly on the spot and Joe ushered out.
'But you heard something?"
'You really want to know what I heard?' And when she nodded, 'It doesn't put your sister in a very good light.'
'Tell me, Joe.' she insisted, feeling her appetite was fast deserting her.
'They'd had words over some bloke she'd played about with while Paul was away on business. He tackled her with it while they were out driving; she was totally unrepentant, ordering Paul to stop the car, and of course he wouldn't being ordered to, as you can very well imagine. In her temper she wrenched at the wheel---'
'Oh no! ' There was terror in Tessa's eyes and her hand shook so much that her wine spilled on to the tablecloth. Joe took the glass from her, placed it in front of her and continued, a terrible harshness in his voice,
'The car hit a dry stone wall, overturned and burst into flames. Lucinda was thrown over the wall and although she had a few cuts and bruises, and was unconscious for a while, she escaped unhurt, as you might say.' His mouth twisted as he added ironically, 'By some miracle Paul escaped' too, being thrown out at the opposite side that is, on to the grass verge.' He stopped, adding that at that point the nurse made him leave, but later he met a man who, having witnessed the accident, immediately pulled up. 'He also visited Paul in hospital, being there the same time as lone evening. We left together and talked over a drink in the local. It appears that Paul believed Lucinda to be in the car, and according to this witness he literally flung himself at the blazing vehicle and clawed like a madman at the door, calling Lucinda's name over and over again. This man tried to drag Paul away, but you know his strength. It was probably doubled, for he was like a man demented at the idea of his loved one being burned alive. Another car stopped and it took two men to get Paul away. This man said his hands were literally on fire, but he persisted in his attempts to get into the car.'
Tessa's face was as white as the tablecloth. 'Lucinda was unhurt ... he did it all for nothing.'
She looked across at her companion, the tears glistening on her lashes. 'His sight? How did he come to lose that? Father said it was shock.'
'So it was shock at the idea of Lucinda's being burned to death, for obviously he wasn't blind when he was first flung out of the car.'
'And Lucinda threw him over.' she Whispered in a horror stricken voice. '
'Lucinda threw him over.'
'Does everyone know?'
'I don't think so. You see, no one was killed, so there wasn't a big inquiry. No, Lucinda got off very lightly and now, she's all nice and cosily engaged, while Paul---' He shrugged. 'We haven't even got his address. I thought of going to Cyprus some time, for a holiday, and finding him, but I rather think he'd resent it. If he'd wanted to keep in touch there was nothing to prevent him from doing so.'
'His hands, Joe. They're pretty bad, I understand?'
'I wouldn't like to say about that. When I last saw him they were bandaged, but he'd had several skin grafts, and you know how clever surgery is today. I should assume he has had some pretty good work done on those hands. Whatever money could do would be done, as you very well know.'
Shipping was Paul's business. And as Joe said, whatever money could do would be done.
'Do you think Paul still loves Lucinda?' she asked, recalling what her sister had said about his offer to take her back.
'That's another thing I wouldn't like to pass a verdict on. We have to remember that Paul is a Greek, and it's a known fact that these Eastern men love deeply or shallowly. There's no in between with them. I should say that ninety per cent treat their women as possessions. but---' he broke off, wagging a forefinger, 'if you do get one to love deeply, then it's for ever.'
For ever .... Would Paul love Lucinda for ever? A great trembling sigh broke involuntarily from Tessa's lips and Joe frowned darkly at her. 'Forget him,' he advised, echoing her father's words.
'What happens if you can't, Joe?'
'You're just one big fool. With all my heart I wish I'd never introduced you to him.'
'So do I,' she began to whisper, but withdrew the statement, although she could not have said why.
So well she recalled that night. Joe had thrown a party and Paul was there. The moment she set eyes on him her whole life changed.
'Tessa, meet Pavlos Demetrius. He's Greek and disgustingly rich. Ships, you know,' Joe had added briefly, and left them. Tessa scarcely heard a word as she put her small hand in his. He looked down at her from on high, his mouth curved in amusement at her expression; he was probably quite unaware it reflected her awe at finding herself in so magnificent a presence. Dark skinned, with jet black hair waving back from a low forehead. Brown eyes, cold, perceptive, and lacking any visible sign of pleasure at the meeting.
'Shall we sit down?' He glanced around. 'What a squeeze '
'Yes, it is.' The prosaic reply came from quivering lips and her heart was acting in the strangest way. Could she. at twenty two, be sent into this schoolgirl flutter at the smile of this magnificent Greek god? They talked, danced and drank together, and on leaving her he had said good night and added without a trace of interest
in his voice,
'Perhaps we'll meet again some time.' And he slid into his car and drove away from her front door.
Their next meeting took place at a concert. Paul was on his own and so was Tessa. He smiled at her and suggested they sit together.
'That would be nice, Mr Demetrius.'
'There's no need for the formality. My friends call me Paul.' .
Her heart had turned a somersault at that. Was she his friend, then?
Again he gave her a lift home and Lucinda was just entering the drive as they reached it. It was a clear moonlit night. Lucinda had looked up at Paul, her eyes' wide, her beautiful lips parted invitingly ....
So ended any hopes Tessa might have cherished. And as Paul became a frequent visitor to the house her life became more and more difficult, for Tessa did not always succeed in hiding her feelings and many were the times when it blush, or a tremor in her voice, would give her away. At first Paul seemed not to notice, but when at length he did do so his brow would lift and a faintly contemptuous curve would touch his mouth. Her supreme hurt had come when, at another party of Joe's, Tessa had come up behind them, with the intention of joining them, when Paul's voice had reached her. 'That tiresome sister of Lucinda's. What's wrong with her? Does she throw herself at every man she's introduced to?'
'What do you mean?'
'She irritates me exceedingly using her eyes in that way. And they're the only things she can use,' he added contemptuously, 'for she has nothing else to recommend her.'
'She hasn't her sister's beauty,' Joe reluctantly agreed. 'But she's a smashing girl when you get to know her.'
Paul shrugged his broad shoulders, while Tessa stood behind them, frozen to the spot. 'Beauty's so often only
skin deep, you know, Paul.' .
'So it is said,' he owned in a bored voice. And then, brightening, 'There's Lucinda. Excuse me, Joe.'
'Just a' minute ... Paul, are you going to marry Lucinda?'
'If she'll have me. But just imagine having a sister inlaw who's forever making eyes at you. The damned girl
must have no pride ' ,
The following week the engagement was announced ... and then it was that Tessa knew she must get away. Paul would not be subjected to the annoyance of having a sister in law around who was forever making eyes at him.
'Wake up, and eat,' Joe admonished. 'Where are you?' .
She forced a laugh. , 'A long way away.'
'On an island in the Mediterranean, for instance?' and when she made no response, 'Throw if right away, Tessa, 'for there's nothing you can 'do about it. Make a completely new start.'
A new start. Wasn't that her intention on accepting that first post abroad? She had felt certain she would be completely cured. But no; and she had written home saying she was taking another post which had become vacant, and another 'When he left, Joe didn't he offer you his address?;
'He just disappeared. Came out of hospital on the Monday afternoon and when I called at his flat in the evening it was closed up. It's my belief that he'd instructed his man to get rid of everything while he was in hospital, for otherwise I can't see how he got away so quickly.'
'You do know for sure, though, that he's in Cyprus'
'I'm pretty sure this recluse people talk about is Paul.' He shook his head, and leant back as the waiter appeared to take his empty plate. 'Life's so damnably unfair' he exploded, obviously not caring what he said. 'That Lucinda should attract him and not you.'
But Lucinda always did get the best of every thing and also get away with everything. At school Tessa had often been blamed for her misdemeanours, for even as a child Lucinda had been cleverly equipped with the means to extricate herself from any trouble, leaving someone else to take the blame, and that someone was invariably her sister.
'You're my whipping boy,' Lucinda had once laughed when, having been wrongly blamed for something Lucinda had done, Tessa was made "to stay in school and write lines.
After dinner they went for a drive. Joe drew in at a farm gateway and they sat talking for hours.
But her father was still up when Tessa arrived home and they chatted together by the dying fire, 'You'll stay home?' her father said, looking anxiously at her. He sensed her restlessness and indecision and went on encouragingly, 'There are some good posts going, Tessa and your mother and I do want you with us.'
She looked at him, her face clouding. But there was no point in prevaricating. Better tell him all, so that he could, become resigned.
'I can't stay, Father. I thought I could,' she added hastily. 'But She paused, and gazed into the fire, avoiding her father's questioning eyes. 'Paul's living in Cyprus and I'm going there.'
He leant back in his chair, surprising her by the way he accepted this. .
'I had an idea you meant to find out where he lived. Girlie, what can you do?'
'I haven't the least idea,' she confessed with a sigh. 'I just want to go there, and to 'find out where he is, discover sornething about him.'
'What good will it do you?' he queried anxiously. 'It's only going to make things worse. Tessa, I wish with all my heart you'd never met this man!'
'Joe said he wished he'd never introduced us,' she murmured, her gaze still fixed on the dying coals. 'But
he did introduce us and so I must find Paul.' .
'But, darling, he doesn't love you.'
No, but he loved Lucinda, and was willing to take her back or had been willing to take her back. Perhaps he had changed his mind. Perhaps he no longer loved her ....
'I must go.' She turned her head and their eyes met. 'This is our secret. I don't want Mother to know, because she'll only worry. I'll tell her I'm teaching in Cyprus she won't be at all surprised at my going away again.' She smiled at him, her lips soft, and trembling with the emotion that filled her. She had said she hadn't the least notion what she could do. But the idea that had formed in her mind was now all enveloping; it possessed her whole being. 'I'll write to you both here, of course, but I'll also write to you at the office, and tell you all that's happening.' '
'I think you're very foolish, my girlie---' He shook his head sadly. 'But you and I have always understood one another, and I know just how you feel. I also know that you must go and see this man. I can't imagine what you have in mind.' but it's obvious you're hoping for some change in him, hoping he might want you.' He Sighed deeply before adding, 'Whatever the outcome, I only hope and pray you won't be hurt any more than you, have been already.'
That was impossible, she thought, and said, 'I won't be, Father. And, , , please don't worry about me; promise.'
'Girlie, you're my daughter. I can't promise a thing like that.' . .
'You'll keep my secret?' she asked presently, and he nodded his head.
'Your secret's quite safe with me, Tessa. But you must write.'
'I'll write.' she promised, smiling. They talked for a little while longer and then, kissing each other good night, they went upstairs together and parted on the landing.
THE island came into view, early in the morning when a golden sunrise set on fire the eastern sky and reflected itself in the calm blue waters of the Mediterranean.
'That is Kypros.' A member of the crew, washing the deck, paused in his work and pointed to the misty silhouette that was the island of Cyprus. The man was short and swarthy, with thick black hair and darkened teeth, a typical Greek, with the inevitable happy smile and friendly disposition.
'It seems quite close, but we shan't dock until lunchtime.'
'Lunch time?' In broken English the man spoke, and his brow puckered in a frown, Tessa pushed up her sleeve and indicated one o'clock on her watch, The broad smile instantly reappeared and the man nodded vigorously, 'We get to Kypros at thees time, as you say.' A pause, and then the question which Tessa knew would come. It always did, to a woman travelling alone in the East. 'You by yourself?'
She nodded, trying to hide her smile. 'I'm alone, yes.'
'You go to Kypros to friends?'
'I have a friend there.'
The man's face fell slightly. 'If you want to see the island I haf leave and could take you around.'
'It's kind of you, but as I've said, I have a friend there.'
'In Famagusta your friend lif?'
"No, not in Famagusta.'
.'Where does your friend lif, then?'
'In a tiny village in the mountains. Look, the sun's clearing the mist,' she added in order to change the subject. You can see the island quite plainly now.'
"Thees end, it is Paphos, Aphrodite used to lif there.' He turned from the contemplation of the island and looked at her. 'You know of Aphrodite?' He pronounced It in the Greek way of Aphrodity, and Tessa did the same.
'Yes, I know of Aphrodite. She came out of the sea at Paphos.'
'That's right. She the goddess of love. Your friend, she is at Paphos, maybe?'
'My friend doesn't live at Paphos.' She could say' that with truth, for she was quite sure Paul would not have his home anywhere near the birthplace of the goddess of love. '
They both turned as more deck hands appeared.
Within minutes the deck was flooded and Tessa moved away, round to the other side of the ship, where she saw a young man she had met on boarding the ship at Piraeus two days previously. They had spoken and then been together practically the whole time. She had told him her name was Lucinda, for although at this stage her plans were vague, she decided to be Lucinda to anyone she might meet in Cyprus.
'I didn't expect you to be up so early,' she smiled on Joinig him at the rail. 'Have you seen the sunrise?'
'I was just too late. I didn't go round anyway, because the deck hands were working. They don't seem to mind If they drench you with those hoses.'
Which was not true, for Tessa's experience of ships was that the passengers were always shown every possible consideration. .
'I must give you my address in Limasso.' Martin too a small book from his pocket and tore out a page. On it he wrote his address and handed it to Tessa. 'My phone numher's there, so don't forget to give me a ring. I know the island pretty well and would willingly take you around.'
'Thanks, Martin, I'll keep that in mind.' Should she not find Paul, or should she falter in this half formed plan of hers, she might be glad of someone to take her around if she decided to stay a while on the Island, that was.
The ship docked at noon and Tessa booked in at a small hotel in Limasso.
It was kept by an English couple, and Tessa could not believe her good fortune when, after casually mentioning Paul's name" she saw 'them look swiftly at one another and then back at her.
'Paul Demetrius?' Marylyn asked the question, but before Tessa could reply her husband spoke, 'He's a friend of yours?'
'I know him. I'd like to visit him. You know where he lives?'
'Not exactly, but his home's away in the mountains somewhere above Bellapais.' A small pause and then, from Clive, 'He's blind, I believe had a bad accident in a car when in England, that was.'
'Yes.' They were in the lounge; Clive had brought refreshments and Tessa fell silent as she took a drink of her iced lemon. 'Do you know anything about him?' she presently asked, looking up.
They both shook their heads. 'He's something of a mystery,' said Marylyn. 'He doesn't mix at all. Has a manservant who does for him, and that's about all we know. You met him in England?'
'I knew him in England, yes.'
Limassol Was on the south of the island, Bellapais on the north. Should she wait until tomorrow, She had booked in at the hotel and unpacked a few of her things. No, she could not wait, and after repacking her suitcase she paid for the bed she had never used and took a taxi to Nicosia. ...,
From this attractive city, lying in the centre of the great Messaoria Plain, she took another taxi to Lyrenia
and then a taxi to Bellapais, where she booked in at a small hotel room by two Greek Cypriots, Maroula and
Spiros. . .
'You come from England ' Maroula took Tessa's suitcase and carried it up to her room. 'My son he at university in England.'
'Where?' asked Tessa, showing polite interest. It was I surprising how many people she had met in her travels who had sons in universities in England.
'London, of course.'
'Of course.' To these people London was England.
'He do very well.' A broad smile appeared on Maroula's brown face. 'He write to me this day and say he engaged.'
'To an English girl '
'Yes, that's right. This room, it get all the sun and the mountains are there for you to see, and the sea at the other side. Come out on to the balcony.'
'Those houses ... .' Tessa's eyes travelled slowly over the vast limestone ridge of the Kyrenia Range. Away in the distance was a very large house. It would not be that, she thought, out asked about its owner.
'That one it belong to Lady Shine.'
"There are many English in Bellapais?'
'Oh, madam many English. They have the new houses. Very expensive. You buy a house'
'No.' I 'don't want to buy a house. That one---' She pointed away to where a white villa nestled on a ledge of the mountainside. 'English people live there ?'
'Yes. Mr Sheridan. You look for an Englishman?'
'No, I'm wanting to find a Mr Pavlos Demetrius. Do you know him Does he live around here?'
Maroula's brow furrowed, and she slowly shook her head. 'Spiros---he know everything. He in soon; gone to
Kyrenia shopping.'
'I'll see him later, then. Thank you, Mrs Melissas.'
'Call me Maroula. I like this.'
'Very well, Maroula.'
'Your name?' .
'Blane, Miss Blane.'
'Your first name, madam?'
'Lucinda.'
'Madam Lucinda, I call you.' She smiled. 'Madam Lucinda, you are welcome to Bellapais.'
'Thank you very much, Maroula.'
'You like my English?'
'It's very good.' Tessa went back into the bedroom and Maroula followed.
'Maroula never been to school.'
'Never?'
'Few years school in Bellapais---no good. I never go to the gymnasium. But I learn from books, slowly, slowly. Not quickly, madam, 'but slowly, slowly. Little each day, and it is good. I show you book?'
'When I come down, Maroula. Yes, I'd like to see your book.'
'Very good book. I learn slowly, slowly. Right!'
'Right.' .
Was Maroula typical of the Cypriots Tessa wondered. She was, certainly a friendly, happy person. Spires her husband was at first morel reserved than Maroula had been, serving the dinner with a rather stolid expression on his dark face and saying, each time he removed a plate, 'Madam, it was good?'
'Very good, thank you.'
A large glass of wine was brought; eyeing it, full to the brim as it was, Tessa wondered how she would avoid drinking it without offending Spiros. She looked round. Several plants in pots but the wine might kill them!
'You not drink your wine?' and before she could reply, 'Drink it. It is good!' in a most peremptory tone.
'I don't usually drink wine,' Tessa began. 'And in any case, it's too much for me. Could you take half of it away?'
He looked amazed. Where was Maroula? Tessa wondered desperately.
'You drink, madam, it is good, very good. Drink!' She sipped it; perhaps it was good to some palates, but not to hers.
'I'll take it to my room,' she said when, her dinner finished, Spires looked at her wine glass and then rested his stern eyes upon her.
'You not like?'
'No,' she said apologetically. 'I scarcely ever drink wine.'
'Scarcely? What is that word?' he asked, diverted.
'It means hardly.' '
He shook his head. 'I learn from book. This word?' Eventually Tessa was able to make him understand. And when she had finished the barrier was broken down and he was like his wife, all smiles.
Maroula came into the dining room and sat down at the table. 'Madam Lucinda, she wants find her friend. His name---'
She looked at Tessa, who repeated it for Spiro's benefit.
'Yes ... Pavlos Demetrius. He---What do you say? He not look?'
'He's blind.'
'That's right.' His brow furrowed in thought.' 'He live somewhere right up in the mountains very far up. He not like people very strange man.' Spiros glanced swiftly at her. 'Friend of yours?'
'He's a sort of friend, yes.'
'Tomorrow I take you. Okay?'
'That will be fine. Thank you very much.'
There was no sleep for Tessa that night, and at four o'clock she was out on the balcony, clad only in her nightdress and a thin negligee, for although it was only April, the weather was hot. This was unusual, even for Cyprus she was later to learn from Maroula, 'It usually rain, but not this year.'
Spires had an old boneshaker of a van; this he used for everything from moving around his fields to taking skins to Nicosia, for by trade he was a butcher. 'You comfortable?' he inquired imperturbably as the van bumped along the road.
Tessa said yes, she was most comfortable. She had earlier suggested she pay him for some ' petrol, and had instantly closed up, for his expression was enough.
'Petrol! You not buy petrol; I take you for nothing.'
'You're very kind, Spires.'
'No kind! I like take you for 'nothing!'
She said no more and they had moved off from the hotel, with Maroula, bright and spotless in a printed cotton dress, standing on the forecourt waving to them until, turning a bend in the narrow mountain road, they became lost to sight.
'I think this is it. But it might not be.'
'This.'' Looking all round Tessa saw nothing but mountains on her left and the sea on her right, with in between lemon and olive groves and fields ablaze with crimson poppies mingling with the dazzling yellow of masses and masses of small chrysanthemums, the lovely crown daises that grow so abundantly on the island.
'Not here yet I mean this house that I speak of.'
'I see. We are not there yet?'
'Not there, no. It a long way up in the mountain.'
The road became even narrower until finally it was a mere cart, track of bare brown earth, baked hard and strewn with small boulders. Then she saw the house. White and low, with a panoramic view of mountain and sea .... Emotion filled her; she swallowed, Over and over again, but the tightness in her throat remained. They drew closer and at last Spiros pulled into the dnve which itself was similar to the road, having never been finished apparently. But of course, if Paul never went out, no car was required.
'You go and see if this is your friend and I shall wait.'
She stood there looking at the house. No sign of life. Turmng, she glanced down the mountainside
'How long will it take me to walk?'
'Back to my hotel?' He looked amazed. 'I wait, Madam Lucinda, for it take you nearly half hour to walk back.'
'Half an hour? Is that all? I'll walk, then, Spiros. Don't wait and thank you very much for bringing me.'
'Not thank mel You sure you walk?'
'Sure, thank you, Spiros.' .
'Okay.' He accepted her decision cheerfully and she watched as the van disappeared down the earthen track in a cloud of red brown dust.
And then she turned, and looked at the house again. So white that it appeared dazzling against a background of green forest trees on the mountainside. The windows, large and all leading out on to balconies, were at present closed, and the green and yellow shutters closed also. But there were flowers everywhere.' roses, carnations and hibiscus sweet peas perfumed flowers. And lemon blossom, Was ever there a more wonderful perfume? and it was always present, for the lemons cropped all the year round. So on the one tree would be lemons right from tiny green to rich yellowish green, and at the same time, blossoming.
For a long while she stood there, and during those moments of uncertainty she many times half turned, as if to go away from here, to abandon her plan. But eventually she managed to walk to the front door, and to her astonishment her hand was quite steady when at last she pressed the bell.
No sound, except an echo of the bell through the house. Beside her on the steps were glorious flowers in pots---all perfumed. She pressed the bell again and the door was instantly opened. The man must have been there all the time. He was small and swarthy, with an unsmiling face and a low frowning brow. His sudden opening of the door had made her start and her voice quivered nervously as she said, 'Mr.Pavlos Demetrius does he live here?'
The man looked her up and down curiously .. 'He does, madam,' he answered in perfect English. 'But what is it you want? Mr. Pavlos, he does not have visitors.'
'I think he'll see --- allow me to see him.'
'Your name, madam?'
'My name is my name is Lucinda .... ;
'Madam Lucinda? I will tell him.' He opened the door wider. 'If you will step inside?'
She did so, raising a trembling hand to her lips. What had she done? The lock clicked and she actually jumped at the sound. As the man moved away she stared fascinatedly at the door. Somehow, the sight. of that closed, door gave her a feeling of impending doom.
Putting a firm check on her fears, and determinedly making an effort to gain control of her fluttering nerves, Tessa looked around. It was very dark, for here also the shutters were up against the windows, but through them filtered enough light to show her the furnishings of the hall. They were very sparse; just a few chairs and a table. On this stood a huge vase of roses, filling the air with their perfume,
Footsteps .... Her trembling began again, for these footsteps did not belong to the man who had let her into the house. Slowly, reluctantly, she turned.
Paul. ...
Framed in the wide doorway he stood tall and lean and very dark. He wore grey linen slacks and an open necked shirt of gleaming white, the sleeves rolled up above his elbows. Tessa looked at his eyes and caught her breath. Just the same. Expressionless, of course ... but how odd it was that they could appear just the same, with their darkness and depth strangely at variance with the glaze that now covered them. lt seemed impossible that he could not see. Her gaze shifted to his hands. One was at his side, the other held a stick. Much of the skin was discoloured and Tessa thought that, were his skin white, this discolouration would be highly pronounced. Being naturally dark, the brown of the damaged skin blended, so that there was nothing even unsightly about his hands, much less were they repulsive, as Lucinda had implied. Nevertheless, it could be seen at a glance that he had suffered severe burns and Tessa suspected the evidence would remain for the rest of his life.
'Lucinda .... '
That beloved voice!
'Paul, I've come, as you said I could, to ask to ask---' Impossible! God, what should she do! Such a deception was beyond her, and her instinct was to turn and flee. But that would be too cruel. 'Paul, I'm so sorry, but I'm not---'
'Sorry .. ?' His voice was quiet, incredulous ... and yet, watching his face, Tessa experienced an odd feeling of danger. Was it imagination, or had his voice been edged with bitterness? He spoke again, and instantly the impression was dispelled. 'You've come back to me?' A great sigh left his lips, coming so it seemed to Tessa, right from the very heart of him. 'You've come back to ask---To ask what, Lucinda? You didn't finish what you were saying.'
Tessa could neither move nor speak, for there was an unreality about the situation which left her wondering if she would soon awake from this fantastic dream to find herself in bed, her pillow damp, as had happened on so many occasions during the past two years.
'Why have you come, Lucinda?'
'To ask your pardon. You said you'd forgive me.''
'I did say that.' The merest trace of a hesitation. 'And I meant it.'
'You're still willing to forgive me to take me back?' Dazed by the way the words now fell without difficulty from her lips, Tessa was again struck by the unreality of the situation. It was as if someone else were speaking, or rather as if someone were putting the words into her mouth.
'I'm willing to forgive you, Lucinda.' The voice, as strong and firm as ever, but giving the impression that he too was dazed by these happenings, 'I've wanted you to come back to me have even willed it at times---but I never really thought you would.' Unerringly he put his stick on a chair near by, and then held out his hands. 'My dear and beautiful Lucinda! Let me hold you in my arms.'
Tessa gave him her hands, and he pulled her gently to him. For the first time she thrilled to his embrace, responded eagerly to his kisses. What did anything matter now? Exultation replaced every other emotion. She could carry out the deception Happiness was hers; and oh, how happy she would make Paul! His affliction was there for life, but with her love she would smooth his way; she would' care for him and tend him. Her eyes would he his. '
But tears leapt to them now, for never in her wildest imaginings had she thought to find happiness such as this. And Paul, touching her features with tender gentle fingers, discovered these tears and said, 'Remorse, Lucinda?' and she leant away. What was this indefinable thing which brought a strange disquiet to mar her moment of supreme joy? As before, it was in his voice, and something made her say, in pleading, frightened tones, 'You have forgiven me, Paul? You ... still love me?'
'I've forgiven you, my dearest love.' His lips found hers and he tenderly kissed away her fears. 'We'll have a wonderful life together, Lucinda. Everything in the past must be forgotten.'
'You're so good---Oh, Paul, how can you forgive so easily?' Only now did it strike her how swiftly he had dismissed the terrible injury done to him by Lucinda, lovingly taking her back without even one word of blame or reproach. How he must love her.
'If I don't forgive, my darling, how can we be happy?' His fingers travelled over her face, caressing her chin and her cheeks and her mouth. She held her breath. Blind people had a most sensitive touch ... would he discover how different were her features from those lovely bone structures and contours that made Lucinda what she was? But presently she relaxed; Paul was smiling as his fingers touched her hair then caressed her cheek. 'Your tears, my sweet, what are they for?' .
'I'm so happy,' she murmured, pressing close and holding him lovingly.
'You've been very unhappy?'
'Life has held no meaning for me since I since I went away from you.'
'You could have come sooner, you know. It's over a year.' .
A tense moment. Tessa's heart beats quickened uncomfortably .. 'I 'didn't think you'd want me.'
'Afraid I didn't mean what I had said? But I did, my love. I wanted you to come to more than anything in the world I wanted you to be my wife.
Tessa closed her eyes. How could Lucinda cast away so great a love? '
'I care for you dearly, Paul' She hesitated, having difficulty in framing her next words. 'I swear, no matter what has happened, that I've always loved you. And I'll spend my life trying to make up for the pain you've suffered.'
'I believe that, Lucinda. And I know you must love me, to come here, willingly taking on a blind man for a husband. Yes,' he murmured softly, so softly that Tessa almost lost the words. 'Yes, your love for me
must be very great.'
He held her close, and all the while her confidence grew. He adored her, lavishing on her his tender kisses and words of endearment. Tessa was so sublimely happy she could have stayed there in his arms forever. It did not seem to matter that all this was really for Lucinda. On making her decision she had known whatever she received from Paul would be secondhand, but she did not care. She was with him; he was hers to cherish and love and to serve. Tessa 'wanted nothing more than this.
As neither desired to waste any more time, they were to be married on the Tuesday, less than a week after Tessa made her first appearance at the lovely villa on the mountainside. The days preceding their marriage were a revelation to Tessa. Before meeting Paul she had, like every other girl of her age, imagined herself in love, trying to form a mental picture of the change which the advent of a lover would bring to her life. But this was enchantment beyond her wildest hopes and dreams; she felt sure that heaven Itself could hold no greater bliss. Already she was seeing for him, as they walked together in the gardens or took to the lane beyond.
'This is good, Lucinda, to come out.' It was April and the air smelled freshly of rain. 'I've rarely been out much since coming to Cyprus, Takis is not much of a Guide, I'm afraid, so I've contented myself with sitting in the garden.'
'There's a grassy bank here, Paul, by a tiny spring. Shall we rest awhile?' She had brought their lightweight mackintoshes, for on starting out there had been clouds, and these she put down on the bank, one on top of the other. .
"The spring sounds nice. Is there much water coming from it?'
'Not much.' Tessa sat down beside him and he took her hand in his. 'It's coming out of the mountainside, all sparkling in the sunshine, and quivering like a silver ribbon moved by the breeze. And the flowers, Paul, they're magnificent. I had no idea so many wild flowers grew here.'
'The island is very rich in flowers.' Absently he moved his fingers over the back of her hand. 'What are these you can see?'
'I don't know the names but the slopes above us are covered with pink and white flowers---Wait, I'll get you one.'
She handed it to him, watched his almost tender examination of its petals before he said, 'Cyclamen, you'll see drifts of these on the mountainside near Kantara Castle. Perhaps we shall go some time though I expect these flowers will be over by then.'
'We'll go next year.' she said happily. There would be many years for them, with all the time in the world in which to explore the island.
'What other flowers can you see'
There were poppies in profusion, growing in the fields below, and with them the brilliant chrysathemums that splashed their gold beneath the misted green of the olive trees. On the side of the rough uneven lane grew masses of dainty purple bindweed and the deeper, more bluish purple anchusa.
'The colours blend so well,' she said, on describing to him what she could see. 'But nature always does
things right, doesn't it?'
'Yes, Lucinda, nature always does things right.
She glanced at him, all attention, but nothing was revealed in the firm line of his mouth that could in anyway strengthen the idea she had gained that his voice held a touch of cynicism. Yet it was almost as if he had added,
'It is only man who makes mistakes.' And with that he could have meant woman ....
'Paul,' she said urgently, 'I love you very much.'
'And I love you, Lucinda.' He turned and rubbed his face against hers; all her world became rosy and the idea of his being cynical was dispelled as, raising her hand, he touched it with his lips.
'Tell me some more, my darling .. Can you see the sea?'
'Yes, far down below us. It's a beautiful turquoise close to the shore, but then it shades to a dark blue, with here and there a lighter colour which I imagine is caused by the reflection of the clouds in the water.'
'There are clouds over the sea?'
'They're only slender wisps of cloud, and the brilliant blue of the sky is far more evident. Then farther out still in the sea, I mean the blue becomes violet tinted a sort of indigo, and then you get the line where the sky and sea meet. You have no impression of vast width, and could almost imagine it' were possible to throw a stone from the shore to the horizon.'
'The sea appears as a narrow strip?'
'In a way, yes and yet---There's a ship, a beautiful white ship, Paul, and this of course gives you the true perspective and you realize just how vast the sea is, for the ship appears as a mere matchbox toy---' She broke off as something moved by the stone at Paul's feet. 'Oh, look, there's a lizard! just about nine inches long '. Isn't it beautifully streamlined? And that gorgeous colour of green with such beautiful markings, emerald and brown Watch ... it's cocking its head on one side to take a good look at us! There, on that stone by your foot can you see ... .'' Her voice became a whisper and her hand in his quivered. 'Paul, I-- '
'Yes, darling, I can see it. It's gone on that stone to get the heat.'
She looked at him uncertainly, but he was smiling, 'It's still watching us,' she whispered. They sat very still, but presently the lizard darted away and they began to talk again. After a while another appeared and Tessa told him about it. Different from the other in appearance, it was not nearly so attractive .. looking in fact rather like some prehistoric monster in miniature. It was a tree lizard, Paul informed her. 'The first was a gecko,' he went on. 'They like walls or hot stones, but often they come into the house.'
'They come in the house?' Although she owned to their attractiveness Tessa gave a little shudder at the idea of finding one in her bedroom.
'They're very good to have in the house; they eat all the insects.'
'The gecko, Paul, he's back---Hush, here's an other!' ,
'I wasn't making a sound,' he returned with a hint of humour, and Tessa laughed.
'It's I who am doing all the talking, isn't it? Have you had sufficiency of my chatter?'
'Your voice is like music, Lucinda. And apart from that, you describe things so beautifully. You know, darling, I never noticed this before.' He paused and then added strangely, 'I wonder why?'
Fear touched her heart.
'But there weren't such interesting things to describe,' she hastily reminded him, and to her relief he nodded his agreement.
'The sun's beginning to go down, my love. Do you want to move?'
'If you do.' What did it matter where she was so long as she had Paul beside her? 'You're not cold?'
'No, dear, I'm certainly not cold. Nevertheless, I think we'll make for home. A cup of tea would be very welcome.'
They rose; Tessa picked up the mackintoshes, but Paul now knew she had them and he took them from her. Then she held his hand and together they made their way along the stony track that served as a road. It had been cut out of the mountainside and there was a sheer drop to Tessa's left. Walking was safe, she decided, but she felt it would be quite terrifying to drive a car over this road. And yet she had seen one or two cars, for farther along, though unseen from Paul's villa, was the house of a retired English businessman. Paul had told her this when she inquired about the car she had seen passing.
'Friends visit him, so you'll see other cars,' he had said.
'You don't have him call on you?' she had asked hesitantly.
'I have no visitors.' The first sharp note She had heard since coming, and Tessa intended to avoid a repetition. Basically Paul was strong, with a vigorous personality and an air of arrogance and self-possession that set him high above the ordinary run of men she had known. But his blindness made him weak. To be dependent on another, to have assistance with almost every little task attempted .... In private, yes, for there was no alternative, but Tessa could well understand why he admitted no outsiders to his home.
'You're right about that tea, Paul. I'm feeling quite thirsty.'
'Have we far to go?'
'About half a mile still. We'll be home before the sun goes down.'
'We can have tea on the verandah and you can describe the sunset to me.'
Takis had the tea laid in the hall, and the front door was thrown wide open, so they had their tea there, going out on to the verandah afterwards.'
'It's sinking,' she said. standing close to him and slipping her arm through his. 'It's a great fiery ball you can quite easily imagine the flames hundreds of miles high coming from it. And the sky ... It s crimson and gold and amber. And, the streaks of cloud are ablaze .... How quickly it goes; you can watch it moving.'
'. . And yet it's really we who are moving.
'I find it difficult to imagine that.' She paused as the sun touched the rim of the earth. 'Part of it has gone now, Paul, so quickly it has moved. Now there's only half ... .' Within minutes the remaining curve had sunk below the horizon, leaving its trail of fire behind it. 'That's the last, until tomorrow. Oh, but Paul, the sky! There's violet in it now, and vivid orange Right across it is, this stretch of colour'.'
He gently took her arm from his, so that he could draw her into his embrace. With a sigh of sweet contentment she leant her head against his shoulder. For a long while they stood there, out in the soft evening air, with all around them the perfumes of flowers mingling with the more heady scent of the lemon blossom. A faint breeze blowing down from the fretted heights of the Kyrenia Range rustled the leaves of the olive and carob trees; from far below drifted the melodious echo of the crickets and occasionally the fretful, protesting bray of a donkey. Tessa felt Paul's hand touching her hair, and measuring its length.
'You've let Your hair grow,' he commented. 'It's much longer than before. '
'The fashions change, Paul.'
'Yes, I suppose they do.' A faint smile touched his lips, and this time there was no mistaking the bitterness it held. 'It's odd, but the fashions will always be as I knew them a year ago. '
'No darling,' she told him hastily. 'I shall describe them to you.'
'Of course you will.' He bent and kissed her lips, and after a little while they went inside. 'Read to me, my love,' he requested as he heard her snap on the light. Just for a short time, and then I'll go to bed.'
'So early?' She looked at him in dismay. Every moment away from him was wasted.
'You don't want me to go?' .
'If you're tired ... ',
'Read to me,' he said again, and so engrossed did they both become in the book that it was nine o'clock before Tessa exclaimed, 'Paul, do you know what time it is?'
'No, darling.' But he had on a watch of braille and his fingers were lightly running over it. 'Good gracious, how it flies."
'Would you like some supper ?'
'Not much, dear. Tell Takis to bring me a little wine, and a biscuit, that's all.'
'It's a beautiful night,' she said as she came back from the kitchen. 'As we missed tea on the verandah, shall we have supper there ?'
'That's a good suggestion, Lucinda.'
They sat outside, with the dark silhouette of the mountains behind, and the indistinct sweep of the sea away in the far distance below. Palms stirred in the soft balmy air, looking like gigantic spiders as their fronds swayed against the moonlit vault of the sky.
'The moon's different here,' said Tessa, careful not to reveal that she had seen many enormous moons during her travels in the East. 'In England it's much smaller.'
'There's a special quality to it here, so I'm told.'
'Yes, it's like a great disc of blue ice as if it's the sun, but frozen. The lighting effect of the sky s different too. There's a sort of sapphire glow, which adds to the impression of coldness.' .
'How well you describe it, Lucinda. I can see It all quite plainly. It's ... disturbing, rather, because there something positive about it.' .
She stared at him in disbelief. That was her Impression, How, without words, had she managed to convey this to Paul?
He did not after all go to bed early, for they sat outside until nearly midnight. And when at last they went into the house, and left each other by his bedroom door, Paul took her gently in his arms and said, 'Just a few hours, my darling, and then you'll be mine.' He kissed her with infinite tenderness, yet with a hint of fervour that excited her.
'That's all I want, Paul ... to be yours.'
Sleep eluded her and at two in the morning she was sitting up in bed, writing to her father.
'I feel I've been transported in to heaven,' she finally wrote. 'I'm so happy that I'm frightened.'
THE reply came ten days later.'
I would most strongly have advised you to return home at once, wrote her father after expressing his amazement at the news she had so calmly imparted to him, but by the time this reaches you the momentous step will have been taken and even so, my advice would not have been heeded, for I know you would do as your heart dictates, regardless of the consequences. Well, my girlie, this is what you have wanted since the day you met Paul, and I only hope and pray that from now on you will know complete fulfilment of your heart's desire. I must say that Paul's quick forgiveness of the wrong done to him, and his ready acceptance of you (or I suppose I should say Lucinda), as his wife staggers me. As you know, I lived for a while in Greece when I was a youth, and I had until now believed in my ability to read the character of the average Greek. With Paul I always suspected the presence of some inherent streak of primitive cruelty beneath that veneer of Western culture he had acquired through living so long in our country. I could more easily have seen his as the merciless avenger, devising some fiendish plot to punish Lucinda. However, from your glowing account of the way he received you this is not so, and your future seems to be ensured. Write again soon, my darling and be happy always. Remember me to Paul.
Revenge ... punishment? Tess had to smile, for nothing could be farther from her husbands mind. They had been married for over a week; no bride had ever been more glowing, no bridegroom more tender, no honeymoon more perfect. . .
They had been gay, abandoned, each giving generously, supplying the needs of the other. For Tessa, what had gone before, the despair and the heartache, the ever present knowledge that Paul loved her sister, all this had dissolved as swiftly as a dream on the awakening, and she accepted what was offered, caged , yet gratefully, and with absolute trust and confidence in her husband's love. For his part he was In turn teasing and grave, stern and indulgent, but ever the tender gentle lover, determined to raise her high into the realms of rapture, to present to her a vision of delights in store,
Revenge .... Her father had such odd ideas at times. A new beauty had come to Tessa during, this idyllic period, a beauty born of fulfilment of desire, and the sure knowledge of being cherished by the one she loved. True, in the odd moment of reflection she would face the fact that all this was intended for Lucinda, but to her surprise she had no difficulty in casting it aside and continuing her game of sublime pretence.
'Sweetheart, where shall we go today?' Paul would ask over breakfast, which was usually laid out on the verandah, very early in the morning, for the sun was up at five thirty and within a matter of minutes everything was golden. They would have a discussion and, the decision made, Paul would ring for a taxi which would be up from Kyrenia in just over half an hour. .
On the day she received her father's letter Tessa was a few minutes late for breakfast. Paul came to seek her, finding her in the sitting room.
'Are you there, darling?' His voice thrilled her, as she knew it always would. She twisted round and her eyes were soft with adoration. Paul was tapping the legs of a chair with his stick.
'Yes, I'm here. I was just coming. You want something'
'Only my beautiful wife.' He sat down on the chair, smiling and facing her direction.
'I've just had a letter from Father,' she said without stopping to think. 'Takis brought it up last night, but we'd gone to bed, so he gave it to me this morning.' Bellapais did not have a postman, and all letters 'were left at the cafe by the Abbey and had to be picked up from there. 'Father wishes to be remembered to you.'
'That's nice of him. Are you going to read the letter to me?'
The question she had feared.
'Yes ... .' Her eyes flickered over the page. She invented much, but read the end.
'Your future seems to be ensured.' he echoed softly.
'Our future, dearest.' She moved to stand beside his chair. He sought her hand and put it to his cheek. 'It's going to be a wonderful future, Paul.' He remained oddly silent and she went on, an eager note entering her voice, 'What would you like to' do today We could go for a swim if you think it's warm enough or perhaps you'd like to do that shopping you were speaking about?'
'Yes, I would. We'll get Kypros to drive us to Nicosia.'
They took the new road through a pass in the extreme western tip of the Kyrenia mountains. Tessa talked as they went along, describing the change of scenery from the semi rugged foothills to the low and undulating plain, golden with ripe corn and bordered with a brilliance of colour as the wild flowers bloomed, all along the sides of the road.
In Nicosia they shopped in Ledra Street, took an English lunch at a small hotel and then, after a walk in the old part of the city, where Tessa described the honey coloured mud houses, with their picturesque courtyards shaded by cypresses and palms, they went back to where Kypros waited with the taxi and he drove them home by the same route as they came.
'Tired, darling' Paul's anxious voice awoke Tessa from her reverie. It was later the same afternoon and they were out in the garden, sitting in deckchairs, and the only sounds were the distant echo of sheep bells and an occasional drone of an insect. From the terraced garden came the scent of roses; this mingled intoxicatingly with the perfume from the oleander bushes which formed a thick hedge between the grounds of the villa proper and the lemon groves beyond. These belonged to Paul, as did the olive groves and the several cornfields on the flatter, more productive land far below,
'No, just content and very happy.' .
'Very happy.' He mused on this. 'Tell me, Lucinda.' do you think you've reached the pinacle of happiness?
A strange question, she thought, but could not have explained why.
'This must be the pinnacle,' she answered softly, looking down at her slender brown legs and thinking for a second of Lucinda's fair and delicate skin. 'Surely it's not possible to rise higher than this, Paul?'
Reaching out he gave the silent order for her to take 'hold of his hand.
'No higher ... so you have indeed reached the supreme heights?' He seemed far away all at once, and his head turned to the rocky peak on which was built the ancient castle of St. Hilarion.
Following the direction in which his head was turned, Tessa saw a movement a mere flash as if something
had darted behind the mountain. Eagles soared and turned above these peaks, she knew, and for some quite inexplicable reason she found herself endeavouring to recall the words of a poem she had once read, long ago, when she was at school, She could remember only the end.'' ... and all is still, save when the taloned eagle swoops and gathers to Its doom the gentle prey.'
A shiver passed through her whole body and, slipping her band out of Paul's, she rose from her chair. 'It's cold, Paul, dreadfully cold '
'Cold?' he echoed disbelievingly. 'You're cold?'
She stood there, looking down at him, bewildered, and quite unable to account for the fear that engulfed her.
'I .. .'' Even breathing seemed difficult. 'I just felt-felt chilly. I'll go and put something on.'
'But, darling.'' he said urgently, 'is anything wrong? You can t, possibly be cold. Why, I was just about to strip off! He wore slacks and a short sleeved shirt; Tessa on the other hand wore only shorts and a very brief sun top. But until this moment she had felt quite warm - to warm in fact, for the temperature was in the eighties."
'I'm warmer now; it's gone whatever it was.'
Paul had risen and instinctively she moved towards him. Sensing her nearness, he took her in his arms.
'My darling, what is it?' He bent his dark head and kissed her lips. 'You don't appear to be cold, my love.' His hands slid caressingly from her soft brown shoulders to the slender curve of her waist. 'You feel beautiful and warm.'
'I'm all right now,' she quivered, snuggling to him, as if to seek his protection from ... she knew not what. 'Sometimes you shiver, don't you? for apparently no reason at all.'
'Sometimes, darling,' he agreed, and held her very dose. 'You're sure you're feeling better now?'
She murmured 'yes,' and put her cheek to his. How concerned he was for her! Could anyone ever have a more loving husband?
After a little while he released her and went indoors to change. She watched him with his stick, carefully guiding himself, touching the familiar objects, the trunk of the fig tree that gave them shade, the tall palm and then the almond tree. The low wall, and after that the scent of the long row of oleanders would act as a guide. Then the steps of the verandah and finally one of the columns supporting its roof, and around which a vine twisted its way up to the balcony above where it clung to the supports provided for it.
To be blind.,. Tessa closed her eyes and tried to imagine what it must be like. Darkness always darkness for the rest of one's life. She opened her eyes swiftly and felt the dampness on her lashes. The sun shone on the garden, on the flowers and trees and on the magnificent white, villa. Everywhere there was light ... ,
She sat down again, quite warm now, and watched the door for Paul to come out. He appeared, and her heart was filled with compassion as, once again, he carefully guided himself with his stick.
If only the accident had never happened ... if only Lucinda had not touched that wheel. If ... Then she, Tessa, would not be here; she would never have known the bliss of the last two weeks for heaven had been hers from the very moment of her arrival, almost, as Paul in his infinite generosity had been swift to forgive, and to forget the wrong done to him. Yes, it was only because Paul was blind that he was hers ....
Later they walked along the lane, in the cool of the evening, taking advantage of that enchanting, but all too fleeting, hour between sundown and the fall of night. The clear crystalline quality of the air Paul could appreciate for himself the glow reflected in the depth of the sky was something that had to be described to him.
'It's magical!' she exclaimed, and instinctively they both stopped. 'With the horizon on fire and a great arc of the sky tinted with orange and bronze. And the little white clouds are edged all round with crimson, while the thinner, wispy clouds look like streaks of translucent gold but oh, they're changing to violet now, though there's still a sheen of bronze on the horizon. ... It's magical,' she breathed again, and as Paul made no comment. she asked anxiously, 'Can you imagine it, darling?'
'I can see it,' he answered in a faintly awed and bewildered tone. 'How did I miss this wonderful ability you have? I never realized it existed.'
Tessa's pulse fluttered. 'Ability?'
'To describe things so perfectly. As I said, I can see the sunset.' A frown appeared between his eyes; he seemed most puzzled as he opened his mouth to speak again.
But suddenly the hush was broken, and Tessa exclaimed, eagerly grasping the opportunity of changing the subject, 'Listen, Paul, the sheep bells! '
From afar, echoing across the vast mountain stillness, floated the tinkling music of the sheep bells, clear and sweet on the .. .twilight air.
'Wonderful.' His strong fingers tightened their hold on her hand. 'There are few sounds more pleasing than those little bells. Do you know, Lucinda, that sound might be coming to us from a very great distance, because of the exceptional clarity of the air in these mountains,'
They stood listening for a long while, then turned and made for home.
'Where shall we go today, Paul?' They were having breakfast; it was the day after their visit to Nicosia and Tessa asked the question hesitantly, wondering if Paul would prefer to have a day at home.
'Somewhere not too far away; Come, Lucinda, you make a suggestion for a change,'
'Well ... if you don't want to go far, perhaps a swim?'
'A splendid idea. What about the beach to the west of Kyrenia? 'We'Il find a saudy cove and have it all to ourselves .. '
Tessa agreed, saying she would telephone for a taxi. 'Kypros will be here in half an hour,' she informed Paul on returning to the room. He nodded and said thoughtfully, 'We must have a car, Lucinda. It's a good thing you
can drive.' .
'A car?' She had driven on some rough roads, but somehow she felt the responsibility of having Paul with her, on this narrow track cut in the mountainside, with its sheer drop on one side, would make her extremely nervous. 'The road's not very good, Paul.'
'Other cars use it.' He made a swift impatient gesture as if waving away her protest as childish. 'You'll get used to it.' There was a curt edge to his voice, she thought, a tiny line appearing between her eyes. But she soon dismissed the idea, chiding herself for 'imagining things.
'Yes, I expect you're right. It'll be much more economical to have our own car, for these taxi fares must
be mounting up shockingly. I don't' know how much we owe to Kypros already.'
'Don't trouble your lovely head about it. One only has to walk when one hasn't the money to pay.'
They drove down from the mountain under a brilliant sun, with the sides of the road a riot of colour and the skyline now and then fringed with palms. High in the heavens, above the rocky crags, an eagle turned, then glided like a shadow in the sky.
'What can you see?' asked Paul in gentle, tender tones.
'We're coming to Bellapais now.'
'Ah yes, that magnificent Gothic ruin. Tell me about it.'
'It's brown sandstone very Weathered, but the arches standing out against the blue sky are so beautiful. And in the gardens are the tallest, straightest cypress trees you ever saw.'
'You want to stop?' Kypros slowed down as he waited for Paul's answer.
'For a moment or two, perhaps.' .
Kypros drew on to the front of the cafe. As usual men were sitting about at the tables, playing trik trak, with the loser buying the drinks, which was invariably Turkish coffee served in minute cups and accompanied by a glass of iced water. Just across, the Abbey grounds were a blaze of colour, and beneath its ancient walls the famous 'Tree of Idleness' gave welcome shade for both the locals and the few tourists who were visiting this quaint whitewashed village.
The thirteenth century church was now used by the villagers, having been adapted for the Greek rite, and Paul said they would attend the service on Easter Day. 'You won't understand it, but you'll find, it interesting. Part of the service is conducted outside the church, with the congregation holding lighted candles.'. .
'But suppose it rains?' she said on a questioning note.
'It doesn't.' Paul gave a little laugh and Tessa caught her breath. How attractive he was! Would she always be so thrilled by his laugh or his smile? 'The only thing you have to worry about is keeping your candle alight.'
The road farther down was lined with carob trees, and beneath was a sea of crimson and gold as waves of delicate poppy heads splashed their profusion of colour among a multitude of less delicate but equally beautiful chrysanthemums.
'It's the harmony of colour that takes your breath away,' Tessa said, after describing it all to her husband. 'Oh, Paul, the lambs they're so tiny, and seeking for their mother's milk all the time! And the goats ... they're with the same shepherd, but keep separate from the sheep. I wonder why?' .
'Probably consider themselves a cut above the sheep,' came the teasing reply from Paul, and Tessa laughed. They slowed down to pass a peasant on a donkey, proceeding at a leisurely pace and Tessa was reminded of Maroula's injunction, slowly, slowly.
'They make such a comical picture, when viewed from behind because of the shape of the donkey, the man and the two great panniers. which always seem to be filled with twigs and brushwood.' The sea sparkled down below them and Tessa heaved a great sigh of contentment. 'It's wonderful, Paul, . ,'
He paused before responding and she turned her head to look at him. Could it be imagination, or was there a fleeting curve of triumph on his lips? His words however, held all the familiar tenderness as he echoed softly,
'You're right, my beautiful wife it's wonderful.' Tessa continued to look at him, but he was smiling and that indefinable something which had produced a moment of strange uneasiness disappeared as swiftly as it had come. She reached for his hand, felt its tender caress, and her heart was filled to the brim with contentment and warmth.
After changing in one of the battered beach huts on the cliffs they had a lazy hour on the hot sand before going into the water.' Paul made no request, but Tessa knew he expected her to remain close beside him. This was the second occasion on which they had gone into the sea, and Tessa experienced a sense of happiness and gratification that with her help he was able once again to enjoy his swimming, which she knew he loved because he and Lucinda had spent a good deal of their time in the pool near their home.
'We'll come out now,' he said, and she merely carried on a conversation as they made for the shore.
She passed him a towel, watching him as he dried his face, then his arms and legs, and lastly, his hair. It was jet black, and normally it waved away from his forehead. But now it curled, falling on to his brow and making him appear attractively young and, somehow, much more carefree than she had ever seen him. .
'It was marvellous in that water.' She looked out to the indistinct smudge of the horizon. 'There's a terrific heat haze over the sea, and the colour is changing all the while. It's turquoise and indigo and purple and that sort of silvery white I was telling you about. I suppose the colour's different today because the sky's a much deeper blue than usual.'
Paul lay back on the sand, his hands folded behind his head. So slim, and yet giving the impression of great muscular strength; so brown, but it seemed to be the result of exposure rather than the natural colour of his skin. And then Tessa realized with a sense of surprise that Paul had not been nearly so dark when she had known him in England.
'I expect I shall soon be brown,' she remarked, speaking her thoughts aloud, and Paul turned his head in her direction. 'I was just looking at you,' she added then. 'You're very dark, Paul.'
'That's to be expected; I've lived in the garden since' coming here.' A slight pause, 'You won't brown, though, not for a long while owing to the natural colour of your skin. You'll have to take care, otherwise' you'll find yourself in some considerable pain.'
'Yes yes; I must take care.' Almost made a slip, she realized with a little jerk of fear.
'What about some lunch?' Paul suggested when
Tessa told him it was already one o'clock. 'Whatever you say.'
Her words brought a strange little smile to his lips. 'How very nice and obliging you always are, Lucinda.
Come, we'll go to the Mare Monte.'
This most exceptional hotel was at Karavas, a few miles from Kyrenia. Standing on a rocky ledge above a beautiful sandy bay, its verandahs looked either on to the sea or the mountains.
They sat facing the sea; down below a few tourists basked in the sun, or swam in the calm clear water. Tessa and Paul lunched on kebab and salad and drank the Cyprus wine with it; then they had fresh strawberries and cream, and finished off with cheese and coffee.
Kypros had gone off to see a friend, and had not returned when the meal was finished.
'Shall we go on to the beach?' Tessa suggested. 'It looks wonderful down there.'
The sand was dry and hot; they strolled hand in hand along the waterfront until, from above, was heard the voice of Kypros telling them he had returned. 'Are we going home now?' she asked as they reached the car.
'Do you want to go somewhere else?' 'It's quite early,' she began hesitantly.
'Perhaps K ypros can suggest something, then. I don't know the island any more than you do, my love, so I can't recommend one place more than another.'
'I take you to the Seven Springs at Lapithos?' The taxi driver looked inquiringly at Tessa. 'You will like. And there is a cafe there, with a view right down the mountain to the sea.'
'That sounds all right.' Paul got into the car. 'Take us to this place, K ypros. I gather there's a new road, cut right out of the mountainside.'
'Yes, that's right.'
The drive was breathtaking, right from the moment they left the beach and took the road up into the straggling village, parts of which extended to well over eight hundred feet above see level. The winding narrow streets were lined with ancient, sandy coloured houses, shuttered against the sun. In every garden there grew lemon trees, whose blossom sprayed the soft warm air with its heady perfume. Olive trees and walnuts, pomegranates and aimonds allllourished in the fields and gardens. On higher ground, and often nestling on a rocky ledge on the hillside, the lovely white villas of the more wealthy Cypriots and the English settl~rs ' contrasted vividly with the background of dark mountain and pine clad slopes. Their gardens were a mass of colour s geraniums and roses, white and pink oleanders, hibiscus and bougainvillea. And everywhere there were flowers in pots on the verandahs and in the porches, on the balconies above, and even on the steps which often led to a terrace on the roof.
'Here is the beautiful water which gives Lapithos its what you say? prosperity.' Stopping the car, Kypros opened the door for Paul to get out. 'Kephalovryso, it is called. See how it gushes out of the rock.'
See .... Tessa stood beside her husband and a little lump lodged in her throat.
The water cascading down from the vast reservoir within the brecciated limestone mass was an incredibly beautiful sight.
'It glistens like silver in the sun' she said, feelmg inadequate, but then she added more brightly, You can hear it doesn't it sound wonderful?'
'It sounds strong. There's a great volume of water coming down, apparently.'
'This supplies all the area, and that is why Lapithas is greener than many places. From long time ago. It makes Lapithos rich.'. Kypros made a comprehensive gesture as he spoke.
Tessa took Paul's hand and after a little while they went across to the cafe. With the typical friendliness and hospitality of the Cypriots, the proprietor himself came and chatted with them, sitting down and ordering a drink which he had with them. As Kypros asserted, the view was marvellous, taking in the olive groves and the palms against the sky, the mellowed houses, clinging to the hillsides, some appearing so old and fallen into a state of disrepair that it seemed impossible that people occupied them still. The white and ochre churches with their domed roofs and picturesque campaniles, the curving shoreline with, its rocky bays and narrow peninsula and then the magnificent expanse of the blue Mediterranean, With the distant horizon a misty vision of sea meeting sky behind a glassy haze of quivering heat.
This is your first visit to Lapithos?' the cafe proprietor asked, eyeing Paul, and then looking at Tessa. Staring and thoroughly examining would be a more fitting description of his gaze, and Tessa wondered just what he was thinking. For the 'strange Greek' who lived on the mountainside above Bellapais was known for miles around. A recluse ... who had suddenly begun to go about ... with his new wife. Little did Tessa know it, but she had been 'the object of much discussion, for the average Cypriot did like to know what went on, not only in his immediate surroundings, but for a radius of several miles! And any stranger appearing in a village would immediately be investigated, question upon question being asked until, by some quite incomprehensible means, her whole case history would be public knowledge. After that, she was a stranger no more, but was accepted and smiled upon by every man, woman and child in the village.
'Yes, it's our first visit,' Paul said pleasantly. 'You have a very extensive ruined city hereabouts, I believe?' 'Lambousa that's what it's called today, "but it's actually the ancient city of Lapithos. It's on the sea shore, not in the mountains ,as is the town today.'
'One can visit these ruins?'
'They are free for anyone to visit, yes. But there's very little to see everything was destroyed in an earthquake and now the buildings are grown over with vegetation, You can see some of them, of course, and it is said there are many treasures underneath, but excavations have not yet been undertaken by anyone.'
'Where is this place?'
'About a mile and half this way---' He pointed towards Kyrenia. 'On the seashore, as I said.'
They stopped there on the way home, and to her delight Tessa found the handle of a large amphora and part of the rim of another, smaller one.
'Feel it, Paul no, this one, the handle. Can you make out the decoration? It's very faint. Aren't I lucky?'
'There are many, very many of these.' Kypros deflated her by his information and Paul laughed as if sensing her disappointment. 'You find them all the time. The people who live here don't want them. They never pick these up.'
'Well, it seems you had better throw them down again,' Paul advised with some amusement. 'They're not museum pieces after all.'
'I'm keeping them, all the same. Just think, they were made over two thousand years ago. Yes, of course I shall keep them.'
Kypros was smiling in a rather superior sort of way as, she supposed, he smiled when the hordes of tourists went about like this, picking up these potsherds which, now she came to realize after scanning the ground more closely, were lying about in their hundreds.
'You're not going to clutter up our porch or verandah with those things, I hope.'
'Clutter?' She put them in her pocket and took hold of his hand, for the ground had become rough and stony, and besides, Kypros had just whispered to her that there were snakes about here. 'How can I clutter up a large porch like that with two small pieces of pottery?' Her eyes were alert and her desire now was to get away from this dead, deserted city of the past.
'Perhaps not with two, but if you're so fond of these old bits of pottery I have a firm conviction that you won't be satisfied with two. Cyprus is just overflowing with this sort of thing. You find them everywhere, so I'm told.'
Presently they were at the car, and no other stop was made until they reached home. It was late afternoon; the sky had darkened early and there appeared to be a threat of rain.
'I'll read to you, then,' Tessa offered When Paul said it was too chilly to sit outside. 'What would you like?' 'You can read me the English newspaper for a start,' he said, settling down in a chair. 'Lucinda, would you fetch me a glass of water?'
'Of course.' She went off to the kitchen. Takis had gone down to the village to see his aged mother and to take her some vegetables which Paul insisted she have two or three times a week. 'I'll put it in the usual place,' she told Paul when she returned with the glass. Whenever he had a drink it was placed on the right hand corner of the small table any table which happened to be near. But as she went to put it down Paul reached out a hand for it. The glass was tilted and the water spilled on to his clothes. .
'You clumsy girl!' he snapped. 'Get me a towel.' Tessa could not move, and she just stared at him, utter incredulity in her lovely eyes. Never before had he reached for the glass like that. Always he had waited until he could be sure that whoever was putting it down for him had moved away. And never before had he spoken one sharp word to her ... Never? Her eyes flickered as she recalled that fleeting impression that, when he spoke to her about the car, his voice had an edge to it. 'Where are you? Have you brought the towel?'
'N no I'll fetch it right away.' She went out and was back within seconds. 'Let me do it,' she offered, but he took the towel from her. 'It's on your coat, ·Paul---'
'Don't fuss Lucinda. I can manage.' His voice was quiet now and the hint of anger had gone.. 'I did get along quite well before you came, you know.
She read to him, and then made the supper. He spoke with the old tenderness and later, much later, as she lay awake, his arm tightened lovingly around her.
'What is it, my dearest?'
'Nothing, Paul,' 'she quivered. 'Just Just hold me tight. Hold me tight ... always.'
A DOZEN pairs of dark eyes raked Tessa's slim figure, from her shapely bronzed legs to her face. She was used to this by now and merely sent a smile in the direction of the men sprawling outside the cafe, just idling their time in the true Cypriot fashion. She had walked down from the house, to collect any letters which might be waiting at the cafe.
'On the shelf, Madam Lucinda.' The proprietor gave her a broad smile and indicated the box, high on a shelf, where the letters for the foreign residents were kept. The letters for the locals were lying scattered about on the shop counter.
'None today.' A heaviness in her tone, and Tessa frowned'. Why this deep sense of disappointment? Letters from home were important, and welcome, but they weren't her life. Her whole world and being were centred on her husband ... why, then, should she have suddenly become avid for the sight of a letter from England?
Emerging from the cafe she met Christos, a sprightly old man from the village who, having once spoken to her in excellent English, now seized every opportunity of conversing with her.
'Ay good morning to you, Madam Lucida. Are you gomg to your home?'
'I thought I'd call on Maroula and Spiros on my way up.'
'Mr. Spiros has gone to Kyrenia. I am going your way, so we shall walk together.' .
'Where did you learn to speak English?' she asked curiously as they left the Abbey behind and took to the narrow lane that served as the main thoroughfare of the village. .
'Well now, I was in the police force, many years ago, and the superintendent said that any of us who failed to learn English would be thrown out.' He turned to her and laughed, 'So Christos was wise, and did as he was told.'
'Was it easy?' Christos was so fluent, using long, and uncommon words, that Tessa had to ask the question.
'No. I found it very hard at first. But if you are threatened with poverty you win overcome many difficulties. Come to this side, Madam Lucinda, the bus approaches.'
The road was narrow, the houses often jutting out, and Tessa always marvelled at the way the 9US and the tourist" coaches from Kyrenia managed to negotiate the bends. But they did, most successfully, and at quite a reasonable speed.
'Do you work now, Christos?'
'I'm a farmer; and I have many lemon groves.'
'The lemons make a lot of money?'
He nodded. The lemons made much money.
'This is my house,' said Christos, stopping by a honey coloured mud brick building. It was tall and narrow, with shutters cracked and faded by the sun. 'So, Madam Lucinda, I will bid you good morning kalimera.'' The inevitable cheery smile appeared on his dark, 'good humoured face, and he raised a hand in salute as she left him, to continue her way past the ancient houses, built in higgledy piggledy fashion, with lots of steps and verandahs, with weathered shutters and plaster often cracked and peeling off the walls. But everywhere there were flowers; they were some times in attractive earthenware pots, bought from the potter in another village, but more often than not they were in old rusty cans, paint tins, buckets and even plastic washing up bowls. These would be placed anywhere on the verandahs and steps, or in the porch. The gardens, blazing with colour from the hibiscus and bougainvillea and many other semitropical plants, would invariably house every kind of junk from parts of ancient cars, disintegrating from the rust, to old prams and bicycles. Scratching about among this miscellany of hoarded treasure would be the hens and turkeys; tethered close by would be the goats, searching the wilderness for food, while at the same time keeping an eye on their snow white kids. Here and there, breaking into this atmosphere of Eastern lethargy, would be a shining white villa, spruce and tended with care. The garden would be well kept, and the trees pruned.' .. but the pot plants would still be growing in the rusty cans.
'Madam Lucinda' Maroula, all smiles, came from the side of the hotel, her arms full of artichokes which she had just cut from the field at the back. 'Madam , Lucinda, you been for a walk in Bellapais village?'
'I went to the cafe for the letters.'
'Many letters you get?' She put down the artichokes on the step, then straightened up, her brown eyes sparkling, as they always did.
'No, Maroula, there were no letters today.'
'Today,' said Maroula, raising a finger, 'I get 'one letter from my son. He want money. Oh, always you need much money in London. Cyprus, Madam Lucinda, it is cheap, no?'
'Some things are cheap, Maroula, but many things here are much more expensive than in England.'
'No!' Emphatically she shook her head. 'Cyprus is very cheap'
Ignoring that, Tessa sat down on a deckchair and stared pensively up to the ragged heights above. 'There's cloud on the mountains today.'
'Yes, much cloud, Madam Lucinda. Today weather no good.'
'Rain is needed, though. Will it rain, do you think?'
'No. This year not much rain. Madam Lucinda, what you like to drink? A little wine?'
As a 'little' wine meant a large 'tumbler, full to the brim, Tessa politely refused, saying she would have an orange drink.
'I have one with you,' said Maroula a few moments later when she appeared with the drinks. 'Cheers, madam. To long and happy life.' They drank aud Maroula continued, in a much more serious tone. 'You very lucky. English girl not to have house. Cypriot girl must have house.'
Tessa frowned. 'You mean, the girl still has to bring a dowry?'
'Yes, madam! Girl must have house.' ,
'Oh no, this can't be true now. Don't the young men ever fall in love?'
Emphatically Maroula shook her head. 'Girl must have house.' she said again.
'You ... did you have to give Spiros a house?'
'No give, madam. Girl just has house. I own house in village and so Spiros marry me. I sell house later and we buy this hotel.'
'But you're so happy---'
'Spires and me? Yes, very happy.'
'He would have married you, even if you hadn't a house? Yes, Maroula, surely he would.'
'Spiros? No, madam. Maroula have no house, Spiros marry other girl.'
Tessa sipped her drink, unconsciously shaking her head.
'It's so difficult to believe.' she said, but recalling a remark Martin had made about the life of the average
Cypriot.
They marry, and the typical village wedding's always conducted with a great deal of fuss and lighthearted ritual, but after one year the man will be found in the cafes and his wife will be confined to the home. It's only the wealthier, more enlightened Cypriots who take their wives and families around with them.'
'One man, Madam Lucinda, who live in a village long way off he have seven daughters. Not one marry, for man can't afford to buy houses. All daughters no marry just mind the hens and goats.'
Tessa put her glass on the tray and stood up.
'I must go, Maroula. I'll call in again tomorrow if I go down to the village.'
'Mr. Pavlos ... ? He very well?' 'Very well, thank you, Maroula.'
He was in the garden, stretched "full length on an air bed, his hands folded behind him, supporting his head. Tessa halted a little way off, a brooding expression in her eyes. For the first time she saw him as all Greek, with the arrogance and ruthlessness of his heathen forebears, those dauntless warriors who had had no respect for life. Death they accepted philosophically and looked to a future of' bliss among the pagan gods on the wild heights of Mount Olympus. As her father had said, Paul had acquired a veneer of Western culture, having lived so long in England ... but what of his inherent traits? His lids came down, and a hand was brought to shade his eyes almost as if the glare of the sun were too much for them.
He was deep in thought; suddenly his expression changed and she felt the disturbance of fluttering nerves. What we're those thoughts that caused a distortion of his handsome features and twisted his firm mouth into a cruel and almost diabolical line? With haste she spoke and a tender smile transformed his features once again.
'There aren't any letters, Paul.'
'For myself, I wasn't expecting any. Disappointed, dearest?'
She sat down on the rug which lay folded by his air bed.
'It's nice to hear from home.'
'Home?' He half turned towards her, his brows raised slightly.
'England.' she corrected, smiling. 'This is home.'
'For always?' he queried strangely, and she gave a little start ..
'But of course. What an odd thing to say, Paul'
'You'd ... never leave me?' He seemed tensed, she thought, and hastened to reassure him.
'I love you, Paul I don't think you realize just how much. How could I ever leave you ?' She shook her head in a gesture of bewilderment.' 'I don't know how such an idea could enter your head.'
'Sorry, my sweet.' He held out a hand; eagerly she clasped it, raising it to her cheek. 'I know you'd never leave me,' he added on a tender note.
'You're my life.' she Whispered. 'I want nothing more than to be with you here, for ever and ever.
For a moment he remained silent, 'his fingers moving gently across the back of her hand.' . 'Did you call and see Maroula?' he asked at length, changing the subject.
'Yes. She was telling me about the dowry a girl here has to bring, and said I was lucky.'
A smile of amusement curved his lips at that. 'But she knows you're not a Cypriot.'
'Perhaps she thinks I married one.'
'Most unlikely. In any case, a Cypriot marrying an English girl would not expect a house.'
'Because of course he'd be marrying for love.' He let that pass and after a while she said, 'Maroula's English is improving every day. She really works hard on it.'
'Who teaches her?'
'She teaches herself, from books.' Tessa gave a little laugh. 'Slowly, slowly; is her motto. Quickly, she says, is no good. Slowly, slowly is much better;' it goes right in,'
'Slowly, slowly .... .' An unfathomable inflection in his voice and Tessa looked swiftly at him. He turned his head and repeated in soft and even tones, 'Slowly ... slowly ... and it goes right in ... .'
The car arrived the following day. Tessa had an international driving licence, but a lie had been necessary when, after ordering the car, Paul had broached the subject of a licence.
'I got one before I came,' she told him, going a little pale, 'I thought I m rnight need it.'
A strange silence followed, and then Paul said, 'You were very sure you'd be staying, Lucinda.'
'No oh no! I didn't take it for granted you would forgive me, Paul. Please don't think that.'
No more had been said, although, for a time, Tessa had felt uneasy about the way Paul had accepted her explanation. For to her ears there was a subtle implication in his words, but as it was nothing she could define she dismissed it from her thoughts.
'We'll go for a run in it,' Paul said a short while after the car was delivered. 'Just into Kyrenia, and perhaps along the front.'
Having managed to get the feel of the car without much trouble Tessa began to enjoy the drive down into Kyrenia. Now and then, on rounding a bend, the snowcapped peaks of the mountains of Asia Minor would come into view across the blue sweep of the Mediterranean. Tessa talked to Paul, describing everything, but apart from a rather perfunctory comment on her driving, made at the beginning of the journey, he was strangely silent.
On reaching the town Tessa drove down steep and winding alleyways and at last reached the tiny horseshoe shaped harbour. She stopped the car and told Paul where they were.
'Shall we have some refreshments here?' she asked eagerly. 'The chairs and tables are all out on the front, and there are lots of lovely yachts and little fishing boats bobbing about.'
Paul agreed to her suggestion and they sat on the quayside, drinking under the shadow of the great Crusader castle which dominated the eastern end of the harbour.
'Can you smell the sea, Paul" He nodded.
'Tell me about the boats, Lucinda.'
'The fishing boats are brightly painted and look very gay. The yachts are gay, too, and their sails are reflected in the water and they make such funny shapes ... .' She tailed off, for Paul did not appear to be interested, in spite of his having requested a description of the boats in the harbour. 'Do you want to go now?' she added anxiously.
'Yes, I think so.' He reached for his stick, which he had placed on the chair next to him, and stood up. Dozens of dark skinned Cypriots were lounging about at the tables and they all stared at Paul as moving away from his chair, he held out a hand for Tessa to grasp. A little lump rose in her throat at his helplessness and she wondered if he was aware of the interest he caused. If so, then he must be unbearably humiliated and distressed. And suddenly she wanted to take him away right away from staring curious eyes, away from people.
'Darling, we'll go for a drive along the coast, and stop at the lovely little cove where we swam.'
'Yes, Lucinda, that is an excellent idea.' He paused and she saw a frown appear on his brow. 'We'll go to the shops first. I want to buy some dark glasses.'
She almost stopped in surprise. Many blind people wore dark glasses, she knew, but somehow she had never expected Paul to do so.
They found a shop and he made his purchase, putting the glasses in his pocket. But on reaching the cove and getting out of the car he immediately put them on. Did his eyes hurt him? she wondered anxiously, remembering the way he had seemed to shade them against the sun while she had stood watching him yesterday. She wanted to ask him about it, but she refrained. His affliction was something never mentioned between them.
The following Sunday night they went down into the village to attend the Easter service in Bellapais Abbey. The square was thronged with people, both locals and tourists brought up from Kyrenia by coach. From the cafe came the strains of bouzouki music, and gathered round the huge bonfire were dozens of gay young people. Chairs were instantly produced for Paul and Tessa and they joined the laughing circle round the fire.
'The flames are very high.' she told Paul. 'And they're lighting up the ruins and giving them a lovely warm glow. The arches stand out so clearly---' 'Must you shout, Lucinda?' he interrupted curtly. 'There's no need to let the world know I can't see.'
'I'm sorry ... so sorry,' faltered Tessa after an astounded little silence. 'I didn't realize I was speaking loudly.' Her voice had been barely above a whisper, she knew that, because from the first she had spoken softly, so as to avoid causing her husband embarrassment. He made no response and she added hesitantly, 'It looks so beautiful, Paul, that I wanted to tell you about it.'
'I'm not completely without imagination. I can feel the fire, so obviously I know it's lighting up the square.'
Tessa fell silent after that, but in a little while Paul took her hand, as if he sensed the deep hurt he had caused her.
'Something seems to be happening,' she whispered, brightening somewhat at his action. 'The coach drivers are talking to the policeman and waving their arms about, as if in protest.'
'I think you're right, something is happening. The music's stopped, and everyone's gone quiet.'
After the small lull the clamour broke out again, but this time there was no gaiety about it. The man sitting next to Paul made some remark in Greek; Paul nodded and the two men began to converse.
'The service does not begin until two o'clock,' Paul informed her, turning his head.
'Two in the morning! But you said s everyone said it starts at half past eleven.'
'The Bishop hasn't given his consent for it to start at eleven thirty. He says it mustn't start until two.'
Someone at the side of Tessa heard this and said in English. 'It always starts at half past eleven. It's never started at two in the morning.'
'I'm not waiting all that time,' someone else said angrily. 'We've come on the coach, but I'm certainly going to insist on being taken back.'
Everyone began to protest, but as there was no priest about it was naturally ineffective. The coaches soon drove away with their disappointed passengers, the cafe lights were turned out and a hose was played on the fire.
Paul was listening to the man at his side, who appeared to be well informed as to what was happening.
'The youths of the village' have disconnected the electricity in the church,' he told Tessa with a hint of amusement in his voice, 'and they've stuffed up the keyhole with wax, so when the priest does arrive he isn't going to get in.'
'There'll be no one here anyway,' said a yoke from behind.
'Will the priest turn up at two o'clock?' asked Tessa.
'I expect so.'
'What a shame! It isn't his fault this misunderstanding's occurred.'
'It'll be in all the papers next week,' declared a handsome young Greek with extreme satisfaction. 'This has never happened at Bellapais before.'
'We'd better move.' Paul stood up, for the man playing the hose was now round at their side and a fine spray of water was raining down on the few onlookers who were left. 'Come, darling, we'll go somewhere else.'
Tessa concluded that they would go home, but Paul was determined to attend church and she drove to another village a few miles from Kyrenia,
'Have you my candle, Lucinda?' Paul asked as they were about to enter the church. She had brought two long slender candles and she handed one to him.
'When you enter you put your money down and pick up a candle,' he told her. 'This you light not the one you have. But you'll see what everyone else does.'
It was so strange, entering the Greek church for the first time, and Tessa was uncomfortably aware of the stares of both men and women, for they could see she was not a Greek.
'You light it here,' she whispered, when she had unobtrusively guided him to the circle of lighted candles from which he must light his own. He moved his fingers up one of the candles until they almost reached the wick and then held out the candle in his hand. On running his fingers up it he realized it had gone past the flame. He tried several times, and the same thing happened. Tessa looked round; many eyes were on Paul and she turned again to watch him in an agony of uncertainty. For something warned her not to take hold of his hand, before all these people, and guide his candle to the light. Instinctively she knew he would be furiously angry if she did. But to stand there and witness this heart rending performance was more than she could bear, and with the tears actually running down her cheeks she pulled one of the candles from the sand in which it stood and when next Paul made an attempt she lighted his candle for him.
'You've done it now, darling,' she whispered, returning the one she had taken out. 'Shall I stick it in' the sand for you?'
A small hesitation, and then he gave it to her.
'Just show me where to go here, somewhere will do. And then leave me.' .
'Leave you?' she looked at him, stupefied. 'I can't leave you.' After guiding him to a place in the row she stood quietly beside him, listening in amazement to the babble of voices around her. Everyone seemed to be conversing with his or her neighbour, and voices were by no means kept low.
'I said leave me!' The words were actually hissed out and Tessa fell back, unable to believe her ears. 'Paul, I can't---'
'Get to the other end of the church Can't you see you shouldn't be here'
Vaguely she glanced around. All the women were at one end of the church and the men at the other.
Everyone was staring at her, standing there with the men, but even though the colour rushed to her face and she became hot with" embarrassment she still knew a moment of uncertainty. How could she leave him? But at his angry inquiry as to whether she were still there she moved quietly away to the other end of the church and occupied the space between two aged black clad women.
Never had she been so utterly miserable and embarrassed. She could understand Paul's' feelings at her refusal to move from his side, but he should have known it was owing to her anxiety about him that she hadn't noticed what went on.
Tears filled her eyes again, but after a little while she tried not to be hurt. It was much, much worse for Paul, she thought, ready to excuse his anger.
For a long time she kept her head averted, so great was her confusion at what had occurred, but at last she managed to look up, and to her relief discovered she was no longer the object of interest. When would the service begin? she wondered, watching the door. The people still came placing their offerings on the tray, picking up their candles, lighting them and sticking them in the sand. They would then walk over to kiss the icons fourteen of them Tessa counted. Finally the icon in the centre of the church would be kissed with far more reverence than those on the wall or so it seemed to Tessa, Small children were picked up by their mothers and held so that they could kiss the icons.
For half an hour or more this went on, then at last the service began, with the priest appearing and much chanting taking place among the men.
Eventually all the electric lights were extinguished, leaving only the illumination provided by the candles. Everyone lit the candle they had brought with them and the congregation surged towards the door, Tessa made a swift move to reach her husband's side then realized that the men were preceding the women.
What should she do? A dreadful panic seized her, and without caring what anyone thought she left the women and joined the men. But Paul had gone, and she searched about, becoming frantic as the moments passed. Her candle blew out and a man lighted it from his.
'My husband,' she cried, looking helplessly at him.
He pointed across the open space to where some of the men had gone. 'Oh ... thank you!' She sped away, pushing through when necessary until she drew close. Then she stopped, not daring to let Paul know she was there. Her candle had gone out again and she lighted it from another. The chanting was utterly lost on her; she felt she would never attend a church service again as long as she lived.
The congregation was going inside again. Quite unable to take any more, she touched her husband's sleeve.
'Paul, I feel ill.' Can we do you mind if we go home?'
'You're not well? What is it?'
'I'm j just feeling ... .' To her dismay she started to cry. 'I just want toto go h home.'
'Very well." His answer surprised her, but immediately on hearing it she took his hand and within a couple of minutes they went in the car. .
'What is it, darling?' he asked anxiously as Tessa drove slowly along the coast road towards Kyrenia. 'Are you all right driving, I mean?'
'Yes, I'm all right now.'
They drove on in silence after that, through the warm night air with the dark sea on their left and the jagged outline of the Kyrenia mountains on their right.
'Paul---' Tessa turned to him immediately they entered the house. 'I'm sorry for what happened. You see, I didn't know I had to be at the other end.'
'Of course you didn't, darling.' He put his arms around her and she laid her face against his coat. 'I was too impatient. I should have understood.' Tenderly he raised her face and kissed her. 'Forget all about it, Lucinda. It isn't in the least important.'
Not important? How little he knew every sharp word and there had been several occasions recently when he had used sharp words to her was like an edge of cold steel in her heart. Could one love too much? Was it wise to lay oneself open like this? To be so vulnerable to pain? She was trembling in his arms and he murmured soothingly, asking what was wrong.
'I can't bear it when you're angry, Paul It hurts so dreadfully.'
His hands caressed her, 'but there was something in his touch, something quite intangible ... and Tessa had the extraordinary urge to slip from his hold.
'It hurts dreadfully ... ? You must love me very much, Lucinda.'
'You know I do.'
'So deep a love now ... and yet---' Abruptly he pulled himself up. What had he been about to say? Was he remembering how he had been jilted? and wondering how anyone acting so callously then could be so loving now? But he did not know that the girl who had jilted him and the girl whom he had married were two very different people. 'Lucinda darling, you intrigue me.'
Her heart missed a beat, for his brow was furrowed in perplexity.
'I don't know what you mean?'
'So great a change---But no, I mustn't bring up the past. There's nothing to be gained by that.'
She stared up at him, bewilderment clouding her eyes.' His subtle reference to the past had been deliberate, she felt convinced of that ... and then he had immediately said they mustn't bring it up.
'Paul,' she whispered desperately, 'don't let anything spoil this lovely thing. Don't change---Darling, I beg of you, please don't change,'
'My Lucinda, of course I won't change. Dearest, there are tears on your face. Why do you weep, my love?' His finger touched her cheek and flicked away a tear. 'Come, you take everything' far too seriously.' His finger now touched her mouth, and felt its quivering. 'A smile,' he commanded sternly. 'A smile on those lovely lips, and a glow in those eyes. Quickly want to know they are there'
Her lips parted then, but her lovely eyes remained shadowed. Some change ... some change so slight and vague that it was almost imperceptible, was taking place in their marriage.
The beach at Varosha, one of the most beautiful on the island, was almost deserted, for it was only seven o'clock in the morning when Tessa and Paul went out for their swim. They had spent two idyllic days at the
King George hotel, occupying their time swimming, sightseeing or just lazing about.
'The sands really are golden,' Tessa said as they left the dazzling blue water and sat down on the towel which Tessa spread out for them. 'Here's another towel, Paul.' .
'Thank you, Lucinda.' He began to dry himself, and as Tessa watched she noticed that he held the towel to his face longcr than seemed necessary. It covered his eyes, and he seemed to be pressing his fingers against them, as if they were giving him pain.
After breakfast they visited the old city for the second time. On the first occasion they had left the car at the hotel and taken a taxi, as then they would have a guide. This time Tessa drove, entering the city by the Land Gate.
'We're crossing the bridge over the moat now.' she said, her heart as light as the sky and the air around her. 'On your side, darling, is the ravelin, and it has a beautiful Gothic arch and there are the dungeons which the taxi driver told us about. Shall I stop for coffee when I see a nice pavement cafe.'
'Yes, Lucinda, we must have coffee.'
They sat in the square, and Tessa talked about the architecture of the cathedral and the Venetian Palace. And then her mind wandered to the story told by the taxi driver about the bravery of the Venetian warrior Bragadino, who was captain of Famagusta during a nine month siege by the Turks.
'It makes me shudder,' she said after repeating what they had already been told. 'Imagine I being flayed alive '
'I don't care to imagine it,' he returned with emphasis, but then he added, on a strangely discordant note, 'I suppose there are tortures equally hideous. It's amazing what the mind of man can think up.'
Her eyes fluttered, to his face; it had become hard and set, but even as she watched an even greater change took place as his mouth twisted into an ugly, almost sadistic curve. He might have been thinking up some infernal form of torture himself, she thought, a tiny shudder passing through her,
'Shall we go now?' she hastily asked, and at his smile she was enveloped once again in warmth.
'I leave it all to my chauffeur,' he said a moment later when she asked where he would like to go.
'We shall go to Othello's Tower, then, where the innocent Desdemona was so foully and unjustly done to death.' There was a hint of banter in her tone; ignoring it Paul murmured, as if the words were not for his wife's ears at all, 'Innocent .... Where, I wonder, does one find an innocent woman?' A laugh, scarcely audible, left his lips. 'Any punishment that comes to a woman is usually well deserved.'
His words wiped the smile from her lips and the joy from her heart. What was this subtle insinuation? Somehow Tessa felt she herself was involved. These two heavenly days and now this odd and inexplicable change.
All interest and enthusiasm had been drained from her and she talked listlessly, passing comment on the Tower and, the walls and the churches, rather than describing them.
'Perhaps you would like to go back to the hotel' she suggested, anxious to cut short the tour, for Paul had not spoken to her since they left the square.
'A good suggestion. We'll spend the afternoon on the beach.'
They changed immediately on reaching the hotel, and after taking drinks in the Terrace Bar they went out on to the sands.
'My sunglasses, Lucinda,' he said as he sat down in a deckchair. 'I've forgotten them. Would you mind fetching them for me'
She rose at once and went to do his bidding, her mind in a turmoil. What was wrong with his eyes that he kept experiencing this discomfort.
On handing the glasses to him she opened her mouth to make a tentative inquiry, but changed her mind. For she suddenly experienced a sensation of danger. Some instinct warned her that she was nearing the edge of a precipice, and that any mention of the past or anything pertaining to it could take her very close to the point of disaster.
Later, when they went in to change for tea, Paul caught Tessa to him and asked if she were enjoying the holiday.
'It's perfect.' A few hours ago she could have breathed those words with truth, but now ... 'What about you, Paul, Are you enjoying it?'
'What more could a man want than a beautiful and loving wife, the sun above and the warm calm sea to swim in?'
Somehow his, words were evasive; Tessa felt her heart beats quicken as a tinge of fear swept through her body.
'You didn't answer my question.'
'I've enjoyed it.' His hands explored her shoulders and her back, slowly, possessively, 'What is the colour of your bikini? This isn't the one you usually wear.'
'This is pink and black.'
'And very brief---But you always did wear brief swimming things, didn't you, Lucinda?' One hand came round to assess the size of her sun top. 'Nothing much at all.' A pause and then, 'How quickly your heart beats!' The colour rushed to her face, and as if aware of it Paul touched her cheek, 'Blushing ' A laugh echoed in the room. 'Why, Lucinda, this is something else I'm learning about you. For somehow I didn't think you'd be shy especially as you've been married for over three weeks.' Tessa was mute. Not only was Paul mocking her, but there had entered into his tones a hint of contempt. 'You haven't told me why your heart is beating so fast. Excitement?' he queried with a touch of humour. 'Or could it be ... fear?' No humour now as he waited with faint expectation for her reply,
'Paul,' she trembled, 'I don't understand you in this mood, What are you thinking?'
'Ah, my thoughts. Those, Lucinda, I can keep secret .
All my actions are known to you because I need your help but my thoughts? They are my own.' And without allowing her time to think up some comment he pulled her to him and kissed her gently on the lips, She responded, and yet a terrible ache tugged at her heart.
Dinner that evening was a gay affair, for some English people who had chatted on several occasions with Paul and Tessa, and who were returning to England the following day, suggested they make a foursome, Paul agreed and the waiter gave them a larger table.
The meal over, they all went into the bar, Paul was in a most attractive mood and Tessa's spirits rose again. He looked so bronzed and handsome, and she felt so proud to be his wife. He spoke to her endearingly and it was easy to see that the other couple were impressed by the adoration he appeared to be bestowing on his young wife.
Eventually the party broke up and the English couple went up to their room.
'Let's take a breath of fresh air?' suggested Paul, and they went out into the street.
No sooner had they stepped outside than. Tessa was enthusiastically hailed, and she turned in surprise, wondering who it could be.
'Martin! ' she exclaimed. 'How nice to see you! '
'And you.' He glanced at Paul, and then he noticed that Tessa was holding his hand. 'I promised to take you around, remember, but .. ."
'Martin, meet Paul, my husband. Paul, this is Martin. I think I mentioned meeting him on the boat coming over,'
Paul held out his hand, a stiff and half reluctant movement, but his voice held a pleasant note as he passed a moment or two in conversation with the young man.
'Well, I suppose I must go,' said Martin at length. 'You've certainly surprised me by introducing me to your husband. I never dreamed you'd come over here to get married.' He laughed, said good night, and left them, going over to a car he had parked just across the road.
Paul's whole manner changed when, a little while later, they were in their room.
'So you'd arranged for him to take you about, had you?' His voice was like cold steel and his jaw was set and harsh.
'No,' she answered hastily. 'That was just his way of speaking. You see, if if you hadn't wanted me '
'You intended consoling yourself with someone else?'
'You frighten me,' she whispered convulsively. 'Paul, what's happening to our marriage?' She went to him, and put her hands against his chest. 'You promised .you wouldn't change.'
'All people change.'
'But---'Bewilderedly she stared at him, as if she would read his thoughts. 'We've been married less than a month, and I love you so---'
'Love! Yes, you love me,' he agreed exultantly. 'You'll always love me. Come, show me how much' He swept her into his arms and kissed her roughly, without respect. 'Show me how much, my worshipful Lucinda my beautiful wife whom I cannot see. '
SLOWLY, slowly .... The words kept repeating themselves over and over again in Tessa's mind. But why? 'Darling, what are you doing?' Her husband's soft and tender voice came to her and she glanced over the balcony rail to the flower strewn garden down below .. Paul was sitting in a wide cane chair; the radio stood on a matching table close by. It was turned down so low that Tessa could scarcely hear the lively bouzouki music that was being broadcast. She did not answer at once and it was the first time, she realized with a little sense of shock, that she had not hastened eagerly to give him her response. Instead, she returned her gaze to the clear wide view of the sea. Indigo and turquoise, with the channels of glass meandering, as if reflecting currents beneath the surface. Farther out the silver sheen was even more pronounced, widening away towards the line where' the expanse of sea dropped over the horizon.
Her pensive gaze came back to the man below, and once again she saw him as all Greek. Fierce and brave-brave he certainly was when, having escaped unscathed from that inferno, he had tried to beat the flames in an attempt to rescue his beloved. Strong, too, with an emotional depth to his character which she knew she had not yet encountered. What was this man she had married?---this man to whom she had given her heart on first gazing into his eyes? The fact that he was not the man she had believed him to be she now bitterly accepted. His voice reached her again, still patient, loving, gentle. 'What was he trying to do to her? This cat and mouse game, this raising her to the heights and bringing her down to the depths. Each time the heights were not quite so lofty, and each lime the depths were just a little deeper. Where would it end?
'I'm coming, Paul.' White steps led from the balcony to the garden, steps bordered with flowers growing in pots geraniums and lilies, roses and the lovely cultivated ciprus bushes. 'Do you want something?'
'You, my sweet,' he said, and her lips trembled convulsively.
'I wonder?'
'My love? What is this?' He extended a hand imperatively. 'Come here.' She obeyed and he pulled her on to his knee. 'My beautiful Lucinda, each day I learn something new about you. I've just discovered I've a temperamental wife."
She leant against him, put her cheek to his. Her lids fluttered down, as if shutting out the pain of tears pressing hard against the backs of her eyes.
'I'm not temperamental, Paul just terribly afraid.'
'Afraid?' His brows lifted a fraction, but otherwise he remained unmoved by the pleading, trembling tones. 'What is there for you to be afraid of?'
She shook her head dumbly. He was not in the right mood to listen to her fears.
'Don't heed it,' she said after a while, trying to bring a brighter note to her voice. 'I'm a little tired today; I suppose it must be the heat.'
'I think perhaps you are not too well, my love, for you haven't been yourself for several days now.'
She sat up straight, scanning his dark features.
Surely he knew the cause of this change in her? Surely he was a ware of the change which had taken place in
his own behaviour towards her? And yet he did seem on the surface to be totally oblivious of having done anything to cause her pain.
She pressed closer to him and his arms tightened lovingly.
'We won't change, Paul. Promise me we won't change.'
'Darling, what is the matter? Aren't you happy?'
'Last week at Famagusta, you were so angry about Martin, and there was no need to be, and and since then you've been sort of cold.'
A protesting little laugh escaped him, 'Am I cold now?'
'No, but---'
'I admit I 'was jealous of that fellow, whoever he was, But I soon got over it, now didn't I' He spoke soothingly, as if to a fractious child. 'And we did have a wonderful making up surely you'll agree about that?'
Yes, she agreed. After this angry outburst he had held her so tenderly, and later, as always, he had transported her to the heights. But on the homeward journey, a couple of days later, when she had been forced to make an emergency stop owing to a child's running into the road, he had treated her to the most angry tirade, making her far more nervous than she already was, and bringing her hurtling down once more to the depths.
'Pull yourself together! We're not going to drive all the way home at a speed of five miles an hour, I hope!'
'I'm all shaking, Paul. You d don't realize. I m missed the child b by inches.'
'Well, you did miss him, so what all the fuss is about I don't know. If you're as nervous a driver as this you'd better give it up!'
As a result of his sharp manner, Tessa made the most fatal mistake possible.
'You didn't see what happened. The little boy ran from behind a cart!'
An awful silence. Tessa's foot shook on the accelerator.
'You're quite right, Lucinda, I didn't see what happened.' No more than that, but those words, and the inflection in his voice as he said them, left the most profound impression on Tessa. .
Had he made a deliberate attempt to wound? But if so, then it would seem that he had stopped loving her. All the way home she suffered agonies from the lash of those words. And that night Paul had gone to his own room, to the room he had used before she became his wife.
But the following day he had been full of remorse, and so tender and loving was his manner that her happiness was restored and she was soon responding to his kisses, freely giving all her love.
'As for my being cold really, Lucinda, I'm beginning to think you have a rather vivid imagination.' 'You don't admit to being cold?' ,
'Most certainly not.'
'Tell me, Paul, are you as happy as you were at the beginning?'
'What do you mean by "at the beginning"?' Another reference to the past. How subtle he was!
'During those first two or three weeks of our marriage?'
He gave a little shrug. .
'A honeymoon doesn't last all your life, my dear.' 'It usually lasts more than a month.' He gave her a little shake.
'That imagination of yours again I We're just as happy as we were at first, only we've settled down to well, to routine. Now stop being silly and fetch the newspaper. I want nothing more than to sit back in my chair and listen to that very beautiful voice of yours.'
Tessa did as she was told, but there was a permanent ache in her heart now. It was no use pretending, something had happened to their marriage. She no longer nursed with desperation the idea that her husband's inconsistency resulted from his affliction. She had known little of his nature when she married him, but now she had learned that he was a man of moods, moods which varied from slight impatience to violent anger, from near indifference to strong and deep emotions of love ... or what appeared to be love. For the first time, as she sat there reading to him and yet not herself absorbing what she read, Tessa asked herself if he really loved her or Lucinda, as she was supposed to be. She read on, her lovely voice more musical than ever in the clear air coining softl' down from the mountains. And all the time her thoughts were elsewhere. She went over her life during these past weeks, saw, the change in Paul as something almost imperceptible at first, causing her slight uneasiness but certainly not pain. Gradually, in a manner vague and almost indefinable, the metamorphosis
had taken place. Slowly, slowly.... Paul had used those words, she recalled, and in the most odd sort of tone. An idea came to her, an idea that caused her eyes to widen and her mind to recapture what her father had written when he learned of her intention to impersonate her sister and marry Paul.
An inherent streak of cruelty, her father had mentioned, going on to say that he could more easily see Paul as the merciless avenger, devising some fiendish plot to punish Lucinda, ...
Tessa stopped reading, for terror filled her. On deciding to marry Paul she had hoped to supplant the love he had for her sister, but at the same time she would return to him all that was in her heart to give. Supposing ... just supposing his love for Lucinda were dead, had been killed by her callous behaviour, Then Paul could have married for revenge. The newspaper fluttered in the breeze; it fell from Tessa's, trembling fingers and one large sheet was whipped away to be caught in the thorns of a giant cactus growing on the other side of the courtyard. She was only vaguely aware of what was happening, for her eyes and her mind were occupied with her husband. If punishment were his aim, and this slow and concentrated torture were his way ... then into what black abyss would she ultimately be hurled?
Paul lifted his head interrogatingly. 'Tired, sweetheart? Or is it thirsty work? I think we'll have a coffee break.'
She hesitated; should she acquaint him with her suspicions? But no suitable words came to her and' she merely said she would go in to the house and prepare the coffee. Paul was leaning right back in the chair when she returned to the garden with the tray. His head was on his chest as if he were deep in thought.
Putting the tray on the table, she straightened up. He seemed unaware of her presence and she spoke to him softly, telling him his coffee was there, and that she had sweetened it for him.
A quick frown darkened his brow. 'I didn't want sugar! '
She swallowed hard.
'You always have sugar---'
'I do not! In any case, I could get it myself! Must you insist on carrying me about as if I were a baby?'
White to the lips, Tessa offered to make him some fresh coffee; he said nothing, but his mouth was tight and hard. She went into the house and prepared more coffee for him.
'It's here, Paul. on the corner of the table.'
His mouth was still compressed and as he reached out, feeling for the cup, she saw that his fingers were slightly stiff, as though he were affected by some inner tension. At the side of his throat a muscle pulsated, adding strength to the impression of his being gripped by some strong emotion.
'Where are you?' he asked, putting the cup to his lips.
'Here, by the table.' ,'Have you your coffee?'
'I have it, yes.' Taking her cup and saucer from the tray, she sat down. But the coffee choked her, for her throat was blocked by fear. .
'Why aren't you' near me?' Paul replaced the cup on its saucer and extended, a hand in the familiar gesture that had always brought from Tessa an eager response. She gave him her hand now, but there was a listlessness about her that was instantly communicated to him. 'I'm sorry, darling. Was I sharp with you?'
Her face was still drained of colour. 'It doesn't matter, Paul.'
'You're not happy, my love. Come and kiss me and say I'm forgiven.'
Gently she withdrew her hand. Her voice was quiet yet firm as she said, 'Are you content, Paul?'
'On top of the world! Don't I possess the most adoring wife a man could have?'
She forgot her role, no longer identified herself with Lucinda. She was Tessa, and Paul was the husband whom she loved. 'I care very deeply for you,' she said simply. 'I want to make up for everything. When I married you, It was because I loved you had always loved you, since the day we met. I hoped we'd be happy together for always.'
'You wanted to make up for everything.' He spoke to himself, considering her statement. And then he added, as if reaching a decision, 'But you are making up for everything, Lucinda. Your love this love you say you've had for me right from the beginning, it is all I need. I want you to love me forever; I want to know that you'll never change.'
She stared at him, bewildered and afraid.
'I don't understand you, Paul. It was so wonderful but now---Darling,. what's happening? I've just had the most dreadful idea and and I'm so unhappy.'
She paused a moment, but as he made no comment she added, 'I'm not changing but you are.'
'What idea is this, Lucinda?' he asked, ignoring her final remark. 'You're becoming fanciful, my dear.'
No answer. She sensed a return of the tautness she had noticed a few moments earlier. He repeated his question, in tones of firm insistency. There could be no evasion and she became so tensed herself that she scarcely knew what she said.
'It's so hard to explain. When Father wrote he mentioned---' She stopped, trembling, but Paul urged softly,
'Yes, Lucinda, your father mentioned ... ?' Feeling for the table, he put down his cup and saucer. 'You read all your father's letters to me, don't you?' Playing with her again, but this time in a different way. She decided to reveal her suspicions,
'In the first letter he wrote Father expressed surprise that you'd so quickly forgiven me,'
Paul turned his head in her direction, but it was an eternity before he spoke.
'What else did your father say?'
'He felt thought you would have desired revenge.' No comment. Tessa was determined to know the truth. 'Do you want revenge, Paul?'
'What exactly are you asking me, Lucinda?'
'I've been wondering about the change in you,' Her heart throbbed painfully, but she kept her voice steady and controlled. 'At first you appeared to love me, but gradually you changed making me happy, and then miserable.' She paused, for a transformation was taking place in his features. Not a trace of softness left .... 'That isn't the way to treat a wife ' '
'Are you complaining of your life?' There was a low vibrancy to his voice, the first real indication that he was keeping a rein on some powerful emotion. "Surely you're not becoming dissatisfied already? We've been married only a few weeks.'
'That's what I've been trying to say,' she persevered, referring only to his last remark. 'In so short a time we've you've changed, I didn't expect---'
'Expect' The mask was off, the tension released.
His dark face contorted; he was like some savage primitive, merciless. 'What did you expect? to find an adoring lover, eager and willing to take you back, humbly grateful for what you had to offer?' He paused, black hatred portrayed in the twist of his lips. 'What an opinion you have of yourself I meant to delay the final blow for some considerable time, but as you've chosen to bring the matter into the open here's the truth; I married you for the sale purpose of revenge. So you can send your father my congratulations. I always did respect his powers of perception."
Tessa had known it, yet the shock made her almost physically ill. 'You' never loved me ... ?' She twisted her hand convulsively. 'From the first moment it was pretence" She recalled the hope in her heart at his ready forgiveness, the strength of her determination to make him happy, the depth of her gratitude that her life would be spent by the side of the man she loved.
'Love? I've never loved you since the day you threw me over! Oh, yes, I know what you're going to say I promised to forgive you, said that you could come back to me if ever you wished, but if you weren't so smug, so utterly bloated with your own self esteem you'd have guessed at once my intention was to pay you back.' His lip curled with contempt. 'Just to think of your vanity sickens me. You had the audacity to come here, calmly expressing contrition and expecting instant forgiveness.' He turned 'his head away in a gesture of disgust. 'What sort of a woman are you to take my forgiveness forgranted - to expect it as your due? Not a sign of surprise when I took you back without one word of recrimination or blame---I repeat, your vanity sickens me; and I now wonder how I could ever have given you a second glance '
Tessa sat there, trembling from head to foot, enduring all that was meant for Lucinda, and powerless to vindicate herself. She spoke at last, when a long silence had reigned, and her voice held a desperate plea.
'Paul, haven't I given you anything? We've been so happy'
'You've, been happy, basking in your own sublime conceit. As to what you've given me .. .' His voice dropped to a low snarl and on his taut face a greyness was creeping under the tan of the skin. 'Darkness for life, that's what you've given me Nothing more, Lucinda, remember that! You've given me nothing more and never can'
'No, oh no, don't say such things' she cried in anguish, her hands extended before his unseeing gaze, 'I have given you something more! I can give you so much ' Paul.' she whispered on a low despairing sob, 'won't you let me try?' But hope had died, and Tessa felt her heart was dead too, savagely torn to shreds by the talons of her husband's hate. 'What what would you have me do?' No emotion in her.' voice now; she was frozen with dread that this was the final scene in Paul's act, that although the curtain fall had come sooner than he intended, he would send her from him, out of his life for ever.
He leant pack in his chair his hands clenched in his lap, his features so transfigured by' the depth of his 'hate that he seemed a totally different being from the man she loved.
'You must do as your heart dictates, Lucinda.' he answered softly, and into the venom there intruded a hint of triumph. 'You yourself will choose the path you desire to follow.'
'Do as your heart dictates ... .' her father's words repeated. '
'You will let me stay?'
The triumph was manifested in the curl of his lips., 'You know what to expect?'
Trembling hands were raised to Tessa's face; she pressed her fingers to her eyes, as if to relieve the weight of tears, tears that strove for release against a barrier of frozen despair, 'I know what to expect.' The words were scarcely audible and Paul jerked his head in an endeavour to catch them. 'I know what to expect,' she repeated, a little louder, and a sneer touched his mouth.
'What a pity, Lucinda, you didn't realize the strength of your love at the time of the accident. You firmly believed then you could do without me, didn't you? And look where your mistake has led you. Your life's finished, Lucinda, for I mean to drag you down to the very depths of hopelessness and misery,'
Tessa dropped her hands. Ignoring his remorseless threat she said through whitened lips, 'You loved me ... then?'
'I'll not deny that, because you know I did,' He paused in reflection, and his fists clenched and unclenched convulsively. 'I worshipped you, Lucinda; he added in slow deliberate tones. 'I'm telling you this to illustrate the enormity of your loss. From meeting you I never wanted to look at another girl. That's what you've lost and I might just remind you of it now and then; he added with almost evil satisfaction. 'I might on occasions allow you to know a moment's happiness ... just for the pleasure of torturing you.'
The last words registered with Tessa, but it was not those that made her cry, that released the tears and sent them flowing down her pallid cheeks. He had worshipped Lucinda and had freely admitted it. From meeting her he had never wanted to look at another girl. ... Sobs shook Tessa's body. While she herself had been seeking for a mere glance, cherishing the occasional grudging smile Paul might deign to bestow upon her, he had been worshipping her sister, loving her with all the intensity and passion which only those of the East can experience.
Lucinda had taken all his love ... and she, Tessa, was receiving all his hate. A terrible bitterness flooded
over her as, having found a handkerchief, she began to dry her eyes.' But sobs still shook her and a smile of satisfaction touched the clear fine outline of her husband's mouth.
'Tears will avail you nothing, my beautiful Lucinda, but continue your weeping, for it affords me extreme pleasure to know that you suffer---' He broke off and when he spoke again Tessa actually flinched under the harshness of his tone. 'This is nothing to what you will suffer before I've finished with you.Your love is my weapon, and by God, I'll exploit it to the full! I'll make you writhe; I'll hear you cry out for mercy, and only then will you know the real depth of my hatred for you'
And it was not long before Tessa did' cry out for mercy; within a fortnight Paul had the satisfaction of hearing her say, her voice husky with unshed tears, 'Don't don't do this to me. Paul, you're crucifying me!'
A harsh laugh broke .from his lips before he said, triumph edging his tones,
'Suffer, Lucinda, I like to know of this torture you're going through.' He stopped and his face became an evil mask. 'Crucify! You talk of being crucified? What torture did you. subject me to? Are you suffering as much as I did at that time?'
Her arms stretched out entreatingly, but then she dropped them to her sides, aware of the futility of the gesture.
'I suppose one can't compare mental and physical torture, Paul. All I know is that I can't go on.'
Her words had the effect of bringing him upright on his chair, and it seemed to Tessa that a whiteness touched the veins about his temples.
'You'd leave me?'
She hesitated. Were she Lucinda, she could leave him if she desired to do so. But she was Tessa, and had married him under false 'pretences. What right had she to complain? or to put forward the threat of deserting him? What she had received she had asked for. Paul was not to blame in any way whatsoever for the agonies she suffered at his hands.
'I shall never leave you.' she whispered, and she added, a sudden physical pain twisting her heart, 'Some day, Paul ... some day ... perhaps a long while hence, you'll forgive me, and we might find happiness together.'
Was it imagination, she wondered breathlessly, or had a flicker of emotion crossed his face? But he said inexorably,
'We'll never find happiness together, for I'll never forgive you, Lucinda. Never as long as I live.'
They had come out on to the terrace after tea .. A welcome breeze blew down from the Mountains and in the cool silence they had sat for a while before Paul said something to wring that cry of anguish from the very depths of his wife's soul. For during the past two weeks she had not only seen him as all Greek, but had known him as all Greek. No facade of Western culture in evidence; no gentleness or words of tender concern. He placed Tessa in the position of a woman from the East. She was his possession; she satisfied his desires, waited upon him, obeyed his orders. But had this been the extent 'of his calculated revenge Tessa could have borne it stoically, compensated in some measure by being near to him, and in a position to make his lot easier. But Paul had no intention of limiting his punishment to treating her with indifference. On the contrary, he seized every opportunity for humiliating her, of reminding her of the past, of bringing up the subject of her baseness. Rarely did his voice lose its harshness, seldom was his embrace other than the arrogant hold of the possessor, never was his lovemaking tender.
And as the days dragged by Tessa often wished she had kept silent, for hurtful as was that slow torture, it was preferable to this. While there was pretence there was tenderness, even though this did come rather in the form of a ration. But Tessa would be thankful for even that small mercy now.
Still, Paul's particular method of revenge would have developed gradually, by small and painful degrees until, inevitably, he' must have delivered his final blow, revealing his reason for marrying her. .
'Never as long as I live.' Paul's words had been turning over in her subconscious and now she dwelt on them, wondering if it were any more possible for him to go on like this than, it was for her. Had he become resigned to a lifetime of wretchedness? Was he content to traverse a path of loneliness, without ever a diversion? 'Never as' long as I live ... .' He meant those words, she knew, but time could mellow him, and her loving care could one day turn him from this chosen way. Perhaps she would have to wait until they were very old ... but always she could hope.
She glanced up at the sound of a car coming through the avenue of palms which lined the long newly paved drive.
'It's Stephanos,' she told Paul. He was the President of a neighbouring township and Paul had known him before Tessa came to the island. He had been Paul's one and only visitor.
The car drew up and Stephanos got out, waving to Paul and Tessa through the trees. He crossed a paved garden where the lovely bending branches of the jacaranda trees sprayed the whole area with a soft purple mist. From the hedge at the other side of the' courtyard came the heady scent of honeysuckle mingling with the more delicate perfume of roses, Tessa waved back and at the same time Paul spoke, in the customary curt tones he invariably used to her now.
'Remember, we're devoted. Let me down and by heaven you'll suffer!' .
'I shan't let you down,' she returned quietly. 'I have no more desire than you that people should think we're not happy.'
He merely sneered at that, offering no comment.
Stephanos came up the steps two at a time and joined them on the terrace.
'A very good' evening to you, Paulos. Madam Lucinda, kalispera!'
'Kalispera.' She smiled and waited for Paul to offer him a drink. He said he would drink ouzo; Paul wanted brandy and Tessa went off to tell Takis.
Takis appeared within a few minutes with the drinks and the three sat chatting, enjoying the cool breeze after a day of blistering heat.
'Well, Madam Lucinda, how are you liking our climate? Still loath to shut out the sun?' Humour in his voice and Tessa forced a laugh. At first she had flung open all the shutters, avid for the sun. Stephanos had prophesied a quick change in the procedure, but Tessa had vigorously shaken her head. Never would she become tired of the sun.
'You were right, Mr. Stephanos,' she owned a little deprecatingly. 'Sometimes you just don't know what to do to get cool.'
'And you close the shutters, as I said you would?'
'I'm afraid so, though it grieves me to do it---' She stopped short, frowning. Paul had a hand to his head, shading his eyes. For the past week he had complained of headaches and she said anxiously, 'Is your head hurting, Paul?'
'Just a little, Lucinda. Perhaps you'd fetch me my glasses; they'll be in the sitting room, I think.'
She rose at once, and as she passed Stephanos she noticed that he too was frowning in some puzzlement.
The sunglasses seemed to relieve his discomfort, for the rather drawn expression which had come to Paul's face disappeared and he laughed heartily at one of Stephanos's jokes.
'There's going to be a wedding in our village.' Stephanos told Tessa presently. 'Perhaps you'd like to come and see it?'
'I'd love to.' She looked across at her husband. 'Is it all right, Paul? You'd like to see t to go to the v village?' Her heart began to beat far too quickly. Why hadn't she thought before speaking? It was not often she made a slip like this.
'You can go, Lucinda. I don't think I'd be interested in that kind of entertainment.'
'Then I won't go.' she said firmly. 'I'm not going without you.'
A little silence. It was the first time Paul had suggested she should go anywhere alone, and he seemed most surprised that she had not jumped at the chance of a little freedom.
'You wouldn't go without your husband?' Stephanos eyed her curiously before transferring his gaze to Paul. 'Persuade her, Paul. I'll pick her up if it's all right with you.'
'It's quite all right with me. You must go, darling.' She stared.' Was this merely for Stephanos's benefit? The 'darling' certainly was but this relaxing of his stringent manner was as unnecessary as It was unexpected. She hesitated as both men waited for her decision but she had no real wish to go anywhere without Paul, Stephanos had made the suggestion, believing she would be interested in the wedding, but although it would not be good manners to refuse, Tessa shook her head, saying, 'It's kind of you, Mr. Stephanos, but if Paul won't go then I'd rather not go either.'
'Paul then you must,' urged Stephanos, 'for your wife really would like to go.' '
Paul's head turned slowly. He said, an odd inflection in his voice,
'Yes, Stephanos, it seems I must go.'
'So you won't want me to pick you up?' 'No thank you all the same. We'll use our own car,' When is this wedding?'
'Not for another fortnight. I'll see you again before then.' .
'Has the bride a nice new house?' asked Tess .
'As a matter of fact, she hasn't. Her fiance has neither' parents nor sisters, so he owns the house in which he lives. The bride is exceptionally lucky.'
'It must be a ... love match, then?'
'I suppose it must be,' Stephanos answered, with a touch of amusement. And he added, 'It seems strange to you the custom of the bride having to bring a house?'
'Naturally it does, for in England we always marry for love .. .' Her voice trailed off into a whisper. Paul's brow had lifted slightly, a gesture of sardonic amusement. He was plainly reminding her that their marriage was not based on love, on mutual love, that was.
'Each country has its own particular customs,' Stephanos said. 'This bringing of a house, and furniture, is traditional. And at one time there was also a huge chest which had to be filled with linen, all handworked by the bride's female relatives. Today---' He shrugged and smiled. 'Today the bride brings some machine made things---and so change even takes place in our ancient customs.' He paused as an idea occurred to him. 'Why don't you and Paul pay a visit to the museum on the harbour? There you will see many of these old chests, and the linen that went into them.'
'I'd like that,' she said eagerly. 'Paul, you'll come?' 'I might,' he returned without much interest. 'We'll see about it some time when we're down on the harbour.'
The following day they were in the garden, Paul listening to the radio, which was turned down low, and Tessa writing to her father.' She had just finished when Paul asked her what she was doing.
'I've written a letter to Father,' she replied without thinking. '
'To your father only your father?'
A quickening of her pulse. A slip once more. "to my mother as well, of c course.' He half turned and to her amazement she saw him appearing to strain his eyes. 'C can you see?' she blurted out, no pausing to consider her words.
His lips twisted into an ugly line. 'What sort of a question is that! You know damned
well I can't see'
She began to quake, and the pen slipped from her fingers on to her lap.
'I'm so sorry, Paul. You know what I mean, it was the way you---Oh, I'm so sorry---'
'Well, for God's sake, don't harp on about it'
Read me the letter'
'R read it to you?'
'That's what I said.'
She swallowed convulsively. Paul's manner was one of suspicion, and she remembered his asking her recently if she had informed her parents of what he was doing to her. She had said no, which was the truth, but noting his expression now she knew he was most curious to learn what was in the letter she had at present written, There was no means of evasion unless she wanted to feel the lash of her husband's tongue for five minutes or so, and then endure hours of silence while he brooded over her refusal to obey his command.
'Tve begun by telling him about the places we've been to,' she faltered, as her eyes scanned the page. She had never said one word to her father, about what was happening to her life, or she would not allow him to suffer anxiety on her account". But naturally there were references in all her letters her impersonation of Lucinda. 'Then I've gone on, to say all is well, and we are very happy. It is like being on holiday all the time, and I only wish it were possible for you and Mother to come .. .' She tailed off, her trembling increasing as she realized what she had said.
'So the letter is to your father only?' he murmured, slowly turning his head towards her in yet again the same manner as before. 'And why, Lucinda, can't they come over?'
She floundered.
'I've read it wrongly, Paul---Oh dear, I really mean that that .. .'
'Read it wrongly?' he echoed, amazed. 'You can't read your own handwriting?'·
A shaky little laugh rose to her lips.
'I'm a dreadful writer, and well, yes, to be honest I am having difficulty in reading my own scrawl---' Terrified now, Tessa drew a quivering hand through her hair. Lucinda's handwriting had always been admired 'I usually write quite w well, as y you know, b but I've the pad on my knee and and I'm afraid it's j just scribble I'm doing.' Nothing could have sounded less convincing, and Tessa was not in the least surprised at the long silence that followed her feeble efforts to extricate herself from this hazardous position into which she had fallen.
'Read me some more of the letter,' he requested softly, leaning back in his chair.
With the desperation born of sheer panic Tessa picked out from the letter bits which Lucinda herself could have written, but with the necessity of skipping much her sentences were disjointed; in addition to this her accents were cracked and high pitched, and as she paused to look across at her husband she saw that a heavy frown had settled on his brow. It was as if her tone jarred on him, used as he was to the lovely musical quality of her voice.
'That's all,' she said at length. 'Except the end, of course.'
'Read me that.'
She blinked at him. 'The end?'
'The end.'
'I've just sent love from us both, and signed my name.' To her relief he said no more about the letter and she made a mental vow never to be caught like that again. She would write her letters in private, and post them without even mentioning the matter to her husband.
IT was two days since the incident of the letter, and Tessa felt able to breathe again. Up till now she had carried a strange little weight of fear, having the impression that her husband was immersed in some form of conjecture over the matter. But as he had said no more about it she at last concluded that her anxiety was groundless.
'We'll go into Kyrenia,' he said at breakfast. 'I have some shopping to do.'
'Shall I go for the post first?' she asked. 'I didn't go last night.'
'Takis will fetch the letters. He'll be going into the village anyway.'
They were in Kyrenia by nine, having already been up for more than three hours, for the sun shone brilliantly and it was even possible to sunbathe in the garden at seven o'clock in the morning.
'What have you to get?' Tessa asked, putting her hand in his as they left the car.
'Take me to the chemist.' His words were curt, his manner abrupt. 'I must get something for this head.'
'Does it ache very badly?' Tears picked her eyes, and 'she felt a sudden surge of anger against fate, or nature, or some nebulous thing that affected her husband in this way. It was bad enough that he must suffer so terrible an affliction, but recently he had been subjected to this added pain that was now robbing him even of the pleasure of the radio, for during the past week He had either turned it so low he could scarcely hear it, or switched it off altogether. Last evening he had turned it off and then sat for more than two hours with his head in his hands, neither moving nor speaking, and Tessa had sat there too, not daring to break the silence, for when Paul was under the influence of these headaches his temper was unbearable, to say the least.'
'It isn't aching at present. Are we in the main street?'
'Not yet. I parked on the front, by that little cafe we went in the other day.'
'Couldn't you have parked nearer?' he snapped. 'The roads are all up,' she explained patiently. 'There's a great deal of one way traffic and,' she added, not without a trace of amusement, there are many great holes in the road, and nothing round them to stop you running into them.'
She heard no reflection of her own amusement in his remark on that. 'If the holes are big enough to run into, then they're big enough for you to see and avoid. Find somewhere nearer next time.'
'Yes ... .' She glanced around. 'I don't know if you're allowed to park on the main---'
'Then find out! I'm not walking all around the town making an exhibition of myself '
She recoiled from his harshness, but said in some surprise, 'Why should you think you're making an exhibition
of yourself?'
'Holding on to you like this '
A smile of bitterness curved her lips. 'Many couples are holding hands, Paul,' she informed him gently.
'Everyone can see why you're holding mine.'
'No one is taking the slightest notice of us.'
'That's what you'd tell me, but I'm not deficient in intelligence'
They had reached the chemist's shop. Tessa guided Paul in, her face white and drawn. The chemist looked at her and inquired if she were ill.
'No ... it's my husband \_'
'All right I don't need you to tell the chemist what I want!' ,
She took her hand from his, and stood back, leaving him to talk to the chemist, which he did in Greek. Tessa watched the chemist's expression; it was impossible to know what went on, but the concern on his face was evident. He was shaking his head, too, as if puzzled by the symptoms Paul had obviously described to him. However, to Tessa's great relief he produced something and after paying for it and buying one or two toilet necessities Paul turned and Tessa went instantly to his side.
'Shall we have some refreshment at the cafe here?' she asked as she drove the car on to the harbour. 'There are only about half a dozen people sitting at the tables.'
Paul shrugged and nodded his agreement. He was not interested in whether they stopped or not, but Tessa decided to do so and drew in to the side.
'The sea's so calm there isn't a single ripple on it,' she told him when they were seated under one of the smart, multi coloured umbellas waiting for their order to be brought. 'And the boats there are dozens of them, so clean and bright '
'Are there people on the boats?'
Tessa's lip trembled at the question, for she knew where her husband's thoughts lay. At home in England he had owned a beautiful boat, which he had on the river. Every Sunday he and Lucinda would go off in it, but one week end Paul had invited the whole family and Tessa always remembered it with a mixture of pleasure and pain, For although the cruise on the river had been memorable, Tessa had been forced to endure the misery of witnessing the loving, tender way in which Paul treated her sister.
'There aren't any people on the boats now,' she said. 'They're all moored.'
'They probably belong to Cypriots who live in Nicosia; they'll be up at the week end.' He was drinking Turkish coffee and when his cup was empty Tessa asked if he wanted more. Paul shook his head. He seemed bored and listless tired of life, almost. 'Let's get back home.'
'Yes very well.' She emptied her glass and got up from the table. 'Oh, Paul, there's that museum. Would you like to go in now'
'Not now.'
Was he ill she wondered. He seemed so very tired.
His face looked darker than ever, for a greyness mingled with the tan.
'It would be a change.' she persevered. 'And it's bound to be cool inside.'
'Very well; just as you like.'
'Are you sure?' she began hesitantly. 'I don't want---'
'For heaven's sake, Lucinda, stop arguing about everything we do! If we're going to the museum, then let's go without any more fuss! '
Naturally, Tessa 'no longer had any desire to go to the museum, but as she dared not say this to Paul she took his hand and they went across and up the steps, entering by the front door, which was in a street behind the harbour.
An assistant was there and he smilingly welcomed them, asking if it were their first visit to the museum.
'Yes,' said Paul. 'We've been recommended to come.'
The assistant looked pleased about this and began at once to tell them something of the museum's history. The building had been' the property of Lady Locke, and here she had housed many treasures pertaining to the life of the village people as it was lived a hundred or so years ago. She had presented the house and contents to the Cypriots and improvements and alterations had been made. Also there were some fine additions to its exhibits.
The assistant took them round, and as he explained everything the tiredness left Paul's face and he became once more himself, interested in what was being said, and offering some comments of his own, sometimes in Greek but more often in English.
There were many of the dowry chests. All must be carved, the assistant said, and they must be filled with the finest linen. He opened one of them. 'Cedarwood,' he smiled. ·'Can you smell it?'
'Yes, indeed. Lucinda, what is the carving like'
'There are panels all along the front all different.' She went on to explain in detail and saw to her satisfaction that Paul was actually enjoying the visit.
"This beautiful embroidered linen you see in the cases is typical of what you would have found in the chests. This is a bedspread; these are napkins and this is a table --- '
Tessa describe everything as they went along, with the assistant putting in a word now and then.
'This is the marriage bed,' he told them, stopping by a beautifully carved wooden bed. It was fully made and coveted with an exquisitely embroidered spread.
'It's like a cot.' she informed Paul. 'With rails round three sides.' Tessa looked at the assistant. 'Were they always like this?'
'It's a typical marriage bed, madam. They had to be like this, and they must be this particular height.' She frowned in puzzlement.
'Why was the height so important?'
The man shrugged and spread his hands, but a note of gravity entered his voice. , 'It was traditional. The customs were very important, and always carefully followed.'
'The bedspread? Could my husband and I touch it?'
'Certainly, madam.'
'Paul, just feel. It's so soft and so beautifully worked. Here, darling, can you imagine what it' like?' She flushed, wondering how the word had slipped out. Paul started in surprise, and a rather odd expression crossed his face. But he betrayed no other sign of emotion as Tessa gently brought his hand to the lovely embroidery that must have taken months a loving toil to execute.
'Yes, I can imagine it. As you say, it's most beautifully done.' His hand moved lightly over the bed spread; then he took the material between his finger to feel the texture. 'Pure silk, .. yes, it feels so soft, you remark.'
There were dresses worn by the bride, all embroidered and made entirely by hand; there was the special chair, carved and decorated with colour, on which the bride would sit when receiving the guests and the presents. Tessa told Paul about the carving, and she added with a touch of surprise, 'One always thinks it's the man who's important in the East, but the bride certainly has all the glory a the wedding.'
The assistant smiled.
'In Cyprus there is, basically, a matriarchial society although.' he added with a laugh, 'the man is, I'm afraid, conceited enough to think he's the master. But the house in which he lives belongs to his wife. And as the children are hers too, she is in fact in a most powerful position. If she dies before him he must not remarry.'
'Not remarry?' Tessa turned to her husband. 'I didn't know that, Paul.'
'It's not forbidden by law.' he said quietly. 'But it isn't the "done" thing. I have heard of widower s marrying again after a reasonable period of time, but they were darkly frowned upon by all their friends and neighbours.'
They would be.' the assistant agreed. 'Usually, if a man is widowed, he resigns himself to being alone for the rest of his life.'
'And it's the same with the woman?'
'Yes; it's the same.'
'You don't agree with the custom of not remarrying?' Paul asked with a touch of sardonic amusement when, later that evening, they were sitting on the verandah, in the dusk, enjoying the cool breeze coming up from the sea. 'You'd marry again if anything happened to me?' There was an odd quality in his voice and Tessa went white, reflecting on his headaches and imagining the most terrifying things.
'Don't, Paul. Hurt me in any other way you wish, but don't say things like that.' Her voice shook, but he merely laughed and changed the subject.
'You try so hard, don't you, Lucinda'? What trouble you go to when we're out, describing everything to me in detail. You have such patience; I see everything though those lovely eyes of yours.'
'Are you playing with me again, Paul?' she asked gently.
His whole manner changed. 'Why don't you get out!' he snarled. 'You did so once; he reminded her cruelly. What makes you stay?'
'I love you; she answered simply.
'And I hate you.' His fists clenched and unclenched; plainly he was emotionally moved. 'You're a complete enigma to me. Is your love so strong that you're willing to endure this hell for the rest of your life?'
'Some day you might consider I've been punished enough.'
He shook his head, 'This is your fate, Lucinda. I'll crush you. And all the while you continue to hope, I'll torture you. I'll reduce your hope to some shrivelled thing that will writhe within you before it reaches the final death throes of agony'
Every drop of blood drained from Tessa's face. This man was not the Paul she had known in England, Not only had he shed that veneer of which her father had written, but he had drifted back in time, back through the ages to when his heathen forebears had inflicted the most barbaric tortures on their enemies before releasing them in a death that was equally pitiless. She looked at his face, dark and venomous, and twist into evil lines that became more satanic even while she watched, for the swiftly gathering dusk played strange tricks with his features. He was a fiend, a merciless avenger. A great bitterness added to her misery Lucinda had so often made a scapegoat of her, and once again it had happened. True, her sister had no direct hand in it, but all this was meant for her and she had escaped. As Joe had said, she was nice and comfortably engaged, looking forward to a happy future with the man she now loved. Tessa whispered heart brokenly to herself, 'But I entered into this of my own accord, so what right have I to complain? Paul's enjoying his revenge and I can't really blame him, for Lucinda deserved to be punished for hurting him so.'
'What are you thinking?' he· demanded harshly, turning as if through his sightless eyes he would read her thoughts for himself.
'I can't tell you; she murmured huskily, then added, 'But if you knew what was in my heart, Paul, you might not want to hurt me quite so much.'
'Are you begging for mercy?'
'It wouldn't be much use, would it?' she countered, and he turned away. Had she touched him? Despair flooded over her. Why continue to nurture hope when Paul had only a moment ago sworn pitilessly to destroy it?
'You're quite right, Lucinda, it wouldn't be much use.'
'Madam Lucinda---' Maroula called from the front door of the hotel as Tessa passed on her way down to the village. Tessa waved and continued to walk on. Maroula called again and Tessa hesitated, stepping into the side to allow a family of peasants to pass. 'Kalimera.'' The man showed his dark teeth in a smile as he gave Tessa the greeting.
'Kalimem, she responded, then smiled at his wife. She was riding a donkey, side saddle as Greek women always did. Then came two lovely brown children, a boy of about nine and a girl a little older. The girl had a stick and was using it to keep the herd of brown, long haired goats to one side of the road. The dog ran along on the outside, barking at a man on a bicycle who was coming up the hill, wobbling precariously from side to side. Everyone smiled at each other and gave a verbal greeting. Maroula spoke in Greek to the woman and they both laughed. How hard the lot of these women, 'Tessa thought frowningly, her eyes fixed on the peasant's wife. And yet they always had a smile, always waved cheerfully to friends and strangers alike. The family passed on, taking their goats into the hills farther along, and Tessa turned to Maroula, eyeing her questioningly.
'A gentleman, Madam Lucinda in a drive hire car he come to my hotel and ask if I know where Mr. Pavlos Demetrius live. I 'tell him, but Spiros say he see him on the other side of hill, so I think he not understand what I say.'
'A gentleman?' Tessa moved into the drive as the shaky old bus came rattling along the narrow road, 'Did he give you his name?'
'I forget to ask him. He say he come from England to find Mr. Pavlos.'
'From England?' Tessa's pulse quickened. Who could it be?
'Yes, Madam Lucinda. He fair hair and tall, and say Mr. Pavlos was his friend in England. I say Mr, Pavlos married to Madam Lucinda---' She broke off and smiled delightedly. 'His eyes, they open just like this ... and he say in voice oh, so so ... .' Her brow puckered. 'What you say, Madam Lucinda?'
'Surprised?' she submitted absently, for her heart raced now. Joe .... He had said he thought of taking holiday in Cyprus, and trying to find Paul.
'Yes, surprised. And then he ask lots of question about you and Mr. Pavlos, and after that he go off to find the house, but he go wrong way. You not see him?'
'No---which way ?'
'Here he is, Madam Lucinda I See, he is back that's his car coming up from the village. He must have been lost, and come to ask again.'
Turning, Tessa stared fascinatedly at the car coming from the direction of the square, throwing up a cloud of brown dust in its wake. Her legs felt like jelly and she was as white as a sheet when presently Joe turned into the drive and got out of the car. His eyes flickered as they lighted on Tessa, but he evinced no other sign of surprise.
'Well, well, fancy meeting you. How's married life Madam Lucinda?' She flushed and he added with some amusement, 'You're looking quite pretty. Suntan becomes you.'
Maroula watched, her curious glance moving from one to the other.
'I --Joe -why have you come here?'
'I took my holidays early. Made up my mind on impulse and decided to come and find Paul.' A small pause and then, in an expressionless tone, 'I asked your dad where you were; he said you'd gone back to Turkey ... to teach.'
'Father wouldn't mean to tell you lies, but I asked him not say anything to anyone---'
'Madam Lucinda, and your friend what can I offer you?' Spiros had returned and Tessa gave a little sigh of relief at the interruption, Never had she been so greatful for the hospitality of the Cypriot.'
'Joe, what will you have? Shall we sit out here?'
'That would be nice.'
'I'll have orange, please, Spiros.' She looked at Joe. 'Try the Cyprus wine. Spiros has everything; he'll be only too pleased if you have a glass from him.'
'Thanks, I will.' Joe smiled at Spiros, who instantly disappeared into the hotel, followed by his wife. Immediately they were seated in the deckchairs Joe turned. to Tessa. 'Girl, what a nerve! I wouldn't have believed. you'd dare! I was literally staggered when that Maroula, did she call herself, ---told me about this Madam Lucinda who was Paul's wife. I knew it was you, of course it couldn't be anyone else, but how in heaven's name are you getting away with it? He's bound to find out Sometime.'
'He hasn't up till now.'
'Penhaps not, but---' He shook his head dazedly, 'I can't think how you managed to deceive him in the first place.' he said with more candour than tact, and a deprecating smile touched the corners of Tessa's mouth.
Basically our bone structure's the same, so he hasn't noticed any difference. And my little snub nose has obviously escaped him. The only surface feature Lucinda and I have in common is the mouth. We both have rather full lips, so he wouldn't notice any difference there,' she said, and the bitterness in her voice caused Joe to exclaim, 'Tessa, you're not happy, after all.' He was full of concern, and her flush deepened. Before she could speak Spires appeared with the drinks, which he placed on the small table beside Tessa.
'Something to eat?' he inquired of Joe, who shook his head.
When Spiros had gone Tessa began to speak again, but almost immediately she stopped. 'Excuse me,' she said, and went into the entrance hall of the hotel. Maroula was sitting in a chair. She merely smiled at Tessa, and it was quite impossible to tell whether she had understood what she had obviously overheard.
'I do not speak the English very well; Maroula had once said, but added, 'I know what it is when I listen, though.'
'May we go into the lounge, Maroula?' Tessa asked. 'It's much to hot out there.'
'Yes, Madam Lucinda. You go where you like.'
A few minutes later they were in possession of the lounge, and the door was closed.
'What is all this for?' Joe demanded. 'I've come here to get some sun'
'Maroula always likes to know 'what's going on. If she hears anything it'll be all over the village in less than an hour's time.'
He made no comment, remaining thoughtfully silent for a space. 'Tell Uncle Joe all about it,' he invited at last, having partly recovered from the shock. 'I must admit I gave a good deal of thought to your questions about Paul; but although I eventually reached the conclusion that you'd try to see him, I never dreamed anything like marriage would be the outcome.'
Tessa obliged, telling him everything, and as she spoke her lovely eyes filled with tears.
'You poor little kid,' he exclaimed when she had finished her narrative. 'Why the devil should you take the rap for Lucinda!' Tell him the truth, Tessa, and chance it.'
But she shook her head firmly. 'He was totally indifferent to me, Joe in fact, he disliked me, because he thought I was running after him'
'Tessa, Why should he think that?'
Tessa told him what she had overheard at the party, and Joe's good natured face clouded.
'You heard that? How damnable!" He gestured helplessly. 'What's to be done, Tessa?'
'Nothing,' she answered resignedly. 'I just have to bear it, Joe, and go on hoping for a miracle.'
'In the form of ... what?' 'He might relent some day.'
'You've just said he asserted firmly that he won't.'
She shrugged.
'How does Paul know what his feelings will be in, say, ten years' time?'
'Ten years! . he ejaculated in tones of horror. 'Tessa, that's a lifetime.'
'No, Joe.' She gave him a smile, the sweet and rather tremulous smile she often bestowed upon her husband, even though he remained totally unaware of it, 'I can wait ten years, or even twenty ... and in spite of what Paul says I don't believe he can ever kill my hope.'
Joe placed his glass on the table, for the wine appeared to be choking him, He swallowed hard before he spoke.
'I don't know how you managed to become so deeply involved, Tessa, but having done so how. can you go on caring for a man who treats you like this? 'He isn't treating me like this,' Tessa reminded him. 'It's Lucinda he's punishing.'
'Lucinda,' he echoed with a surge of anger. 'She's escaped! Goes about laughing without a care in the world! Hanging on to that idiot's arm and gazing up into his eyes like some stupid schoolgirl while you take her punishment! It's all wrong, Tessa, and you couldn't be any worse off were you to tell Paul the truth.'
'I'm not doing that,' she said with firm decision, and then, 'You're coming up to see Paul now?'
'Of course. We'll go up together in the hired car, together.
Tessa explained about the letters being left at the cafe and Joe agreed to run her there first. Then Tessa spoke urgently, warning him not to make a slip. 'Promise me you'll be very careful,' she added, her voice edged with fear.
'You can rely on me, Tessa. Your secret's safe ... for all time.'
The smile was in evidence again.
'I expect Paul' will want to deceive you.'' she said thoughtfully after a while. 'So we'll be acting as if we're in love.. .'. Her voice broke and she wept. Soon, however, she regained control and looked at him apologetically after drying her eyes.
He' examined her face and to her amazement said wonderingly,
'You're lovely, Tessa. You possess a form of beauty Lucinda could never have it seems to shine from within---No, don't interrupt. Has love done this to you?' he murmured almost to himself. Her hand lay resting on the arm of her chair and, Reaching across, he covered it with his. 'You're invincible, Tessa. Hold on to your hope, because a love like yours must conquer in the end.'
For a fleeting moment her eyes shone.
'You think he might forgive me, Lucinda, I mean? Joe ... do you really believe the time will come, when he'll stop hating me, and and we'll be happy?
'I'm sure the time will come when you'll be happy,' he replied gruffly, and Tessa did not notice that he had deliberately ignored her first two questions.
Tessa's feelings were mixed as she took Joe into the house and called to her husband. Paul had cut himself off from everyone in England; he had not left an address, so obviously he had no wish even to correspond with his friends. How, then, would he receive Joe?
On obtaining no response to her call she went in search of him; he was in his old room, lying down. The slatted shutters were closed, but the windows were open, allowing the air to enter.
'Paul,' she whispered, 'are you asleep?'
'No,' irritably. 'What do you want?'
'We you've a visitor but, Paul, does your head ache?'
'A little.' He sat up, then slid off the bed. 'A visitor?'
'From England; it's Joe. He's come to Cyprus especially to find you.' By the light escaping from the shutters she saw his surprise but she also noticed .his drawn expression. 'The medicine you bought from the chemist,' she said anxiously, is it not any good for your head?'
'It helps.' He reached for his stick which lay on the chair where he had placed it. 'Joe's just arrived? How did he find me?'
Tessa explained, whereupon Paul asked if Joe had known of the marriage. She hesitated. If she said no, questions would follow, for as Lucinda and Joe had always belonged to the same social set, Paul would consider it most odd if Lucinda could have suddenly disappeared and no questions asked.
'Yes,' She faltered. 'Father told him.' Her heart raced .. More deceit .. , Joe would have to be so very careful.
'How did he get up here?' Paul wanted to know, changing the subject. 'Did he drive?'
'Yes.' She had a desperate urge to throw open the shutters for the half light depressed her. 'He's hired a car. We will put him up?' she asked in faintly anxious tones. 'You are glad he's here, Paul?'
'I yes, I expect I am glad.' He tapped the floor, moving his stick until he found the wardrobe, He knew then where the door was, 'Yes, it will be a change for us to have a visitor.' Tessa sighed with relief, at the same time noiselessly opening the door wide. 'I've no wish that our quarrel is made public,' he said as he passed her.' 'Understand?"
'Yes, Paul, I understand.'
He stopped and half turned.
'It shouldn't be difficult for you to be the loving wife,' he said with a hint' of sardonic amusement.
'Not difficult at all,' she responded in quiet gentle tones. 'I merely have to act naturally.'
'How hard you try, he sneered. 'What room is Joe in?'
'The small, sitting room. I've told Takis to bring some refreshments.'
Paul left her and for a moment she remained by the door in his room, his words like a knife in an already open wound. But it was all meant for Lucinda, she told herself, and that knowledge gave her strength.
AN amber sky, sprayed with rainbow tints and mottled with pale translucent gold. Sunset in all its glory. Tessa stood on the roof terrace and watched the swiftly moving disc drop below the sea. A hush layover everything, for even the breeze was silent as it came down from the mountains carrying the balmy fragrance of the pines to mingle with the exotic perfumes of the garden. A movement below caught Tessa's attention; Paul among the flowers, absorbing their beauty by touch and smell. And as she watched, with a brooding pensive gaze, she saw him pick a rose and put it to his face .. For a long while he stood there, oblivious of his wife's watchful eyes, with the rose held so that the perfume filled his nostrils. And then a tender smile transformed Tessa's face as Paul put the short stem in his mouth and continued his perambulation of the garden. A typical action of the Greek male to pick a flower and hold it in his mouth. They all loved everything with a perfume, and Tessa thought there was something enchantingly naive in the vision of a large masculine figure carrying a flower about with him in this way, With Paul it was so out of character, so incompatible with the cruel and ruthless streak that was essentially a part of his make up.
'He's a strange man, that husband of yours.' The Whisper at her side brought Tessa's head round and she smiled. 'I intended joining him down there, but I sensed he'd consider it an intrusion.'
'He often walks in the garden at this time,' she said in softly murmured tones. 'The flower scents seem stronger when the air is cool and fresh.'
'He likes to be alone like this?' Joe's eyes were on the man below.
She nodded,
'I never intrude on his privacy, either. Like you, I feel he wouldn't welcome company.' Her voice held a pensive note and an involuntary sigh left her lips. ,
'Don't be too hurt about that, Tessa,' he said in tones of comfort. 'There's this aloneness with many blind people, They want to get away, completely, from every other human, being.' Tessa merely nodded her agreement and Joe went on, 'I have the most curious sort of feeling about Paul, Tessa, and I don't know how to explain it to you.'
'A curious feeling?' Her eyes were on her husband. He stood by the oleander bushes, taking in their sweet and heady perfume. Yes, she thought, he was sensitive to seclusion; it was imperative that he have these moments of absolute peace and isolation.
'I have the conviction that he's fighting something, that great turmoil rages within him.'
She turned her head, moving it to one side in a gesture of interrogation. 'What a strange thing to say, Joe. What sort of turmoil? And what can he be fighting?'
A long hesitation, and then, 'Have you ever thought, Tessa, that he might be losing his hatred for Lucinda? Your loving care, your patience and the charming way you have with him it would be most surprising if all this didn't have some sort of effect on him.'
'No, oh no, you're quite wrong,' she began, when Joe interrupted her.
'Should that be the case, and he was falling in love with Lucinda all over again it would account for the impression I have that some inner conflict is taking place within Paul. He'd so despise himself that he'd naturally fight against it.'
Tessa shook her head,
'He still hates Lucinda.' she said flatly. 'There's no doubt at all about it, Joe, It will take Paul a long, long while to forgive what Lucinda did to him.'
Joe shrugged, but frown lines darkened his brow, 'There are moments, Tessa, when he's so well, loving towards you.'
'Merely this act we're putting on for your 'benefit,' she told him sadly. 'Sometimes when we're alone he's like that too, but it's only to let me have a taste of what I've missed, He said he'd do this, just to torture me.' '
'It's fiendish.' Joe said, as if he could scarcely believe Paul capable of such calculated cruelty. 'I know Lucinda deserves it all, and I wouldn't blame him for this revenge but it's still difficult to believe Paul has this barbaric streak in him.'
'Seeing him back home in England you wouldn't think it, I agree. I would never have believed him capable of such violent passions.' She mused again on what Joe had just said about the possibility of Paul's falling in love with Lucinda through the tender care and attention of Tessa. But she shook her head, reasserting that Paul's hatred for Lucinda remained as strong as ever.
'You should know, of course,' he conceded. 'All the same, I sense this conflict most strongly. But perhaps it's something else I don't know.' He changed the subject. 'Only another week and then back to the weary grind. I wish I could stay longer, but perhaps I'll manage another visit at Christmas.'
'I hope so.' The amber sky was merging into the blue mist of twilight which sprinkled the mountainsides and gradually cast them into shadow. Soon would come the silent world of moonlight and a sense of peace would enter Tessa's heart. Each evening she had this brief interlude of repose when all her pain was shed and a strange feeling of optimism entered into her. It was as if nature itself were on her side, equipping her with renewed strength, enabling' her to face another day of strain and hurt.
'What a position Paul chose;' Joe turned a full circle to take in the views all around. 'It's wonderful'
'Wonderful ... and he can't see it ... .' Sadly she looked down again and then her eyes dilated and her whole body became rigid. 'Joe!' she gasped. 'A a snake---' The use returned instantly to her legs and she shot away, making for the steps with a speed born of fear. She stumbled and would have gone hurtling from the roof to the ground, but by some miracle she managed to grab the handrail just in time. Two at a time she took the steps ... two flights ... would they never end? She daren't call out to Paul, for he would not know what to do and he might be afraid, she thought.
The scaly, deadly thing was so still, watching, and then it slithered along the ground, getting nearer and nearer to Paul, who was standing there, the rose between his teeth, tranquilly enjoying the tang of clear scented air in his nostrils.
A terrible fear clutching at her heart, Tessa at last reamed the ground. Stealthily she picked up a large piece of stone from the rockery and, creeping close so as not to miss her aim, she hurled it with all her strength at the snake just as it was about to strike. '·What!' Paul swung round; his stick caught Tessa's ankle and an involuntary cry left her lips. 'What are you doing here creeping about!' Paul's harsh voice was lost on her, for the snake was coiling and writhing, having been hit only on its body. It stopped and to Tessa's terrified imagination it appeared to be looking up at Paul with a black venom.
'It's all right, I'll deal with it.' Joe's voice. Tessa almost collapsed with relief as, picking up the piece of rock, Joe went for the snake's head. She didn't wait to see, but took her husband's arm and led him towards the house. He did not resist or protest, or even utter a word. Once in the sitting room he gave the rose to Tessa, telling her to put it in water. As she took it from him he felt the trembling of her hand, but still made no comment on what had occurred.
'The couch is right behind you,' she faltered. 'Can I get you a drink?'
The strange silence that had come over him was broken then.
'Yes ... but get yourself one too. Have a brandy.'
Tessa brought the tray and several bottles. Joe came in and nodded. The snake was dead.
'Still writhing.' he whispered, 'but quite harmless now.'
Thank God, But there were others; she would never again let Paul go into the garden alone.
'Perhaps.' said Paul quietly from the couch, 'someone will tell me what's been happening?'
Joe opened his mouth, but Tessa urgently shook her head.
'It was nothing, darling. The shadows I thought saw a snake .. .' She tailed off. Joe's brow was raised as if to inform her of the futility of evasion. What would she invent as a substitute for the truth-he seemed to be saying. 'It was a snake, Paul,' she said with affected lightness. 'But only a tiny thing. I'm afraid I lost my head---' She gave a rather cracked little laugh. 'I don't know what came over me; I don't usually panic for nothing.'
'For nothing ... .' Paul's face was a study as, taking the glass which Joe placed to his hand, he raised it to his lips. A vein in his temple throbbed and there was even a movement at the side of his mouth, as if a muscle were rapidly twitching there. 'I heard you say you'd deal with this snake, Joe. How big was it?'
'Not very---'
'About three feet long.' interrupted Joe. 'And a nasty looking brute it was too. Lucinda had already had a go at it before I managed to come down from the roof. I merely finished it off, so to speak.'
Horrified, Tessa stared angrily at Joe. How could he let her down like this? What possible good could he do by telling Paul the truth? It would make him nervous of going out to the garden alone. And although Tessa vowed to be always somewhere at hand, she had meant her husband to believe he was alone. It was cruel to deny him the pleasure which this hour of solitude afforded him.
'Three feet .. .' Paul murmured softly, and took another drink. 'And, Lucinda had already dealt with it, you say?'
'No, Paul, I I just threw a stone at it just to' scare it away.'
'How close' were you when you threw the stone?' he asked curiously.
'She was very close, Paul. The snake was about to strike and Lucinda had to get close' so as not to miss her aim.' A fleeting pause and then, in soft but faintly accented tones, 'I reckon it was damned plucky of Lucinda, because the snake could have turned its attention to her instead.'
She frowned and tried to catch Joe's eye. What was he trying to do?
'It wouldn't have struck at all,' she argued lightly. 'Paul, darling; can I refill your glass?'
'Yes, please.'
No more was said about the snake and later they all went for a meal to one of the many seaside restaurants. They had a table outside, under a star sprinkled sky which reflected itself in the velvet sea below. One or two people were swimming and Tessa told Paul about this.
'They're having a marvellous time, Paul. We've never swum in the dark ... ' She tailed off, biting her lip. How could she have spoken like that, without thinking? Paul smiled for Joe's benefit, she thought, wondering what harsh comment would have been forthcoming had they been alone.
"We must do it, then, my dear. Perhaps we'll manage it before Joe leaves us?'
'I'd thoroughly enjoy that,' returned Joe enthusiastically, watching the swimmers far down below. 'Imagine being able to swim in the sea at nine o'clock at night at the beginning of May!'
"It's possible to swim all the year round in Cypus,' Paul informed him, although he added, his smile deepening, 'The tourists swim all the year round, but I'm told the Cypriots themselves wait until it's warmer.'
'Yes, I suppose they'll feel that the water is cool at this time of the year,' put in Tessa musingly. As she had said, the swimmers were thoroughly enjoying themselves and she would have loved to be down there with them.
Their meal was brought a whole huge fish, brown and crisp and freshly caught. Fried potatoes and vegetables were placed around it and the usual salads were brought in on other dishes. With the whole loaf, the butter and wine, the table was loaded. Bouzouki music, played by a band of four laughing musicians, echoed through the hillsides and out across the sea. There was a display of folk dancing and then some of the diners joined in, It was a scene of gaiety and abandon so typical of the East, conducted under a trellised roof of vines with the dark silhouette of pine clothed mountains on one side and the placid waters of the Mediterranean on the other. Tessa had on only a sleeveless dress. Paul was immaculate in a light grey linen suit. People stared at him, then commented to each other. This always happened and invariably tended to put a damper on Tessa's pleasure at coming out like this.
'Why don't you and Joe dance?' Paul suggested when, the meal over, the table had been cleared of all but wine and nuts. 'Take her, Joe;'
Something in his voice and his manner caused both Joe and Tessa to look swiftly at him. There seemed to have come over him some slight change which as yet was almost indefinable, but in addition there was some enigmatical quality about him that reminded Tessa of the rather odd sort of interest he had taken in the letter she had written to her father, his comments about which had caused her some trepidation for two days, before, realizing his interest had waned, Tessa could once more breathe freely.
'A good idea.' Joe stood up. 'Come on, Lucinda, and show me what to do.'
'I don't know myself,' she told him with some anxiety as she eyed the others dancing on the tiled floor space round which the tables were ranged. 'But I expect we can do something.'
It was exhilarating, and Tessa enjoyed it, but she uttered a tiny sigh for all that, and her eyes invariably returned to Paul, sitting there alone, his face towards the sea.
'How did you go on?' He twisted round in his chair as they sat down again at their table. 'Can you do the dance my dear?'
Why the hesitation? she wondered, for it had been very obvious.
'It was fun, Paul,' she answered breathlessly. 'Everyone's so gay and laughing. They just throw themselves into ·everything.'
'Yes; I'm afraid that in the West you have so many inhibitions that you don't really get the best out of life.'
'You could be right, Paul;' conceded Joe. 'But we have other compensations.'
'Indeed yes, I couldn't agree more. It's difficult to assess these compensations, and to compare them.' 'The difference is that the people here are not concerned with money.'
'Not ?' Paul lifted his brows in surprise. 'Where did you get that idea, Joe?'
He shrugged.
'They just go leisurely about their work, collecting a bit of firewood here and there, and taking their goats and sheep up into the hills. They're so satisfied.' He paused and studied Paul's expression. 'You don't agree with me?'
'People the world over are concerned with money.
Here and especially in this particular region the farmer has the initial work of setting out his lemon groves, but after that he has nothing to do but water the trees.' He can then just sit back and spend his days in the catenation playing trik trak or cards, reaping from his lemons a couple of thousand or so per year.'
'As much as that?' exclaimed Tessa, staring in astonishment. These farmers always seemed so poor.
'Certainly as much as that. Lemons might be lying around all over the ground here, but look at the price of them back home.'
'Back home?' Joe seized on that, forgetting about the lemons. 'You still consider England as back home?'
'Oddly enough, yes.' he murmured reflectively, and Tessa would have given anything to know where his thoughts lay. Perhaps he was dwelling nostalgically on the wonderful times he had spent there with Lucinda when they were both so in love and their future lay spread out before them like an idyllic panorama of heaven itself. This was before Paul's love had turned to a hatred so powerful and all enveloping that it had brought out some latent evil and even twisted his handsome features into the black satanic lines which Tessa knew so well. 'I think it's time we made a move,' Paul said some time later, and after shaking hands with the proprietor of the restaurant, they made their way to the car park.
Joe had returned the hired car, for he had no need of it, and Tessa drove Paul's car back the way they had come, back along the quiet coast road, travelling east, towards Kyrenia. As usual, she had placed a scented flower on the shelf at her husband's side, and he now felt for the carnation and picked it up. He fingered it almost tenderly, and every now and then he wafted it before his face. There was a strange simplicity about his every movement, and he was far away, alone with the lovely thing he held in his hand. It was only aesthetic qualities with which he was concerned. Did this result from his blindness? Tessa wondered, her attention divided between the road ahead and the man at her side. She would never know, and she did not want to do so, for she would have found it oddly hurtful to discover that her husband was possessed of mercenary qualities.
Eventually she turned off the main road and, cutting out the centre of the town, she took the Bellapais road, driving through the olives and carobs, through the lemon groves until, ahead, dominating the village square, rose the magnificent weathered arches of the Abbey. Then Tessa took the road up into the hills and the lights of the village twinkled up at them, looking rather like the reflection of the stars above. Takis had left on all the lights on the front terrace and when the lovely white villa eventually came into view it looked like some fairy palace nestling on its plateau amid the pine clad slopes falling away all around it.
'I'm going to bed.' Immediately they entered the house Paul spoke. 'It's very late.' Absently he fingered the face of his watch. 'Good night, Joe. Good night, my dear.'
'Good night, Paul.' She let him go, then with a nod of apology to Joe she followed him. A short while later she returned. 'His head; she faltered, her face white and rather drawn. 'He's holding it. These pains terrify me. What what explanation c can there be for them?'
'Now, now, steady on, Tessa Just like a woman to dwell on something like a brain tumour. You've quite enough on your mind without an added anxiety like that.'
'But why should he have them? They're very bad, I can tell, even though he doesn't say much about them.'
He appeared not to be listening; a thoughtful frown lay across his brow and his eyes flickered oddly.
'Those dark glasses he wears? Has he always worn them!'
Tessa shook her head. 'It's only recently. I was so surprised when he said he wanted to buy some. He wore them only occasionally at first, but now he seems most uncomfortable without them .... Joe,' she quivered, noting his expression, 'do you think the headaches are something to do with his eyes!'
He looked straight at her, and asked a question of his own.
'If they are, you realize what it means?' She looked bewildered.
'No ... no, I don't.' The French window was thrown wide open and Joe's attention now appeared to be on the night sounds coming from far down the hill slopes, sounds of crickets and frogs and the bray of a donkey tethered to a tree by the roadside.
'Why should he suddenly ask for glasses, when he's been without them for so long?' he murmured at length. 'I do believe these headaches are something to do with his eyes.' He brought his attention back to Tessa. 'Have you ever suspected that he can see?'
'See ... I' Tessa trembled all over. 'No, no, he definitely can't see oh, I'm absolutely sure of it!'
'Perhaps I shouldn't have put it quite like that. But don't you realize, Tessa, that the light must be bothering him ... and if the light's bothering him ... .' The rest was left unsaid, but the inference was clear. Tessa's trembling increased; she was in the grip of a fear even greater than her fear of the future. If Paul should ever see ....
'The doctors in England; she stammered. 'They all said' his case was hopeless. I know he'll never see again.'
In through the window flew a giant moth, to flutter round the centre light and cast darting shadows on to the walls and floor.
'They could have been mistaken; it often happens.'
His case was odd, to say the least. As I told you, he wasn't blind when he picked himself up and tackled those flames. His blindness resulted from the shock of believing Lucinda was burning to death in the car.'
Too stunned to speak, Tessa just sat there, shaken by the revelation that she was taking all Joe said most seriously. She herself had wondered about Paul's asking for glasses; she had noticed him shading his eyes, had wondered at the chemist's expression as Paul talked to him of these headaches. And the medicine ... it had helped a little, Paul said, but now Tessa felt certain it had not helped at all. White, and still trembling violently, she looked across at Joe, her face stricken. 'If his sight should ever be restored, then it's the end for me. I've I've fought and hoped and prayed all for nothing.'
Joe shifted uneasily. 'You'd better have a drink a strong one.' He got up and poured her a brandy from the bottle on the sideboard. 'Think I need one; as well. Of course,' he added, 'I could be all wrong probably am, but it's worth looking into '
'No,' she interrupted frantically. 'No! I won't lose him!'
Joe turned, the soda syphon in his hand. . 'You'd deny him the chance of seeing again?' 'Yes no---' She shook her head, scarcely able to think. 'I can't lose him,' she cried in sudden anguish. 'I can't!'
'What makes you so sure you'll lose him? You are married, remember.'
'Of course I'll lose him. It's Lucinda he's married so he can get a divorce without any trouble at all.' Ignoring her statement about divorce, Joe reminded Tessa that Paul hated Lucinda.
'That's no reason why he should love me.'
'I'll grant you that, but you've been damned good to Paul, Tessa, and he should appreciate it.'
'He'll never love me---At home, he disliked me intensely, said I was running after him. What would he think should he ever know I used his blindness to get him for myself? He'd consider it the most reprehensible act, and he'd be right.' A haunted, desperate look came into her eyes. 'I don't want him to have his sight restored, because don't you see, he'd be more angry and bitter than ever at finding himself bound to me a girl he despised so, a a girl he s said was ugly---' ,
'He never said that!' put in Joe sharply. 'He wouldn't.'
'He said my eyes were the only things I had, you remember that.' The tears were released and for a while Joe let her weep, but when the sobs really began to rack her body he left his chair and put his arms around her.
'Look, all this is unnecessary, because we haven't any proof that Paul will ever see again. For the present let's forget it. Once I'm home I'll make some inquiries---I know someone who's acquainted with an ophthalmic specialist---'
'No!' she cried hysterically. 'I'm not having any interference in our lives. I've told you, I don't want Paul" to see not ever!' '
Joe moved and sat down again and a silence fell on the room. At last Tessa took her handkerchief away from her eyes and looked across at her companion. 'Paul's my friend, Tessa,' he said quietly. 'I must make some inquiries about this man. With both treatment and operations he's been doing miraculous things. And I seem to remember---Now, wait a moment. Yes ... there was a case very similar to Paul's. A woman lost her daughter in an accident and the shock caused her to go blind and I do believe that in her case an operation wasn't necessary'; she responded to treatment. It could be the same with Paul, who knows?' Tessa mentioned the treatment Paul had after the accident, but Joe passed that off as he said firmly, 'It's my duty to' help Paul if I can.'
'He's my husband The decision is mine!'
'Drink your brandy,' he said soothingly. 'You don't know what you're saying. When you've had time to think this over and consider how a successful operation, or perhaps treatment, would affect your husband, you'll change your mind. It's his life, Tessa, and he must be given the opportunity to live it to the full.'
'I won't help in any way to arrange a consultation.' she said determinedly, although in quieter, more controlled accents. 'You needn't take the trouble to seek out this man, because I shall never take Paul to see him.' .
'You'd condemn your husband to a lifetime of darkness?'
'Yes! It's for his own good---'
'Tessa, for heaven's sake! How can blindness be for anyone's good?'
'You've just said we've no proof that he'll ever see again,' she parried desperately. 'It would be cruel to take him to this man and raise his hopes. No, I won't have him hurt.' That satisfied her, but only for a moment. A terrible weight was slowly building up within her, a weight she felt instinctively could reduce her to even greater misery and despair than that to which Paul himself was condemning her.
'True, we've no proof. True, Paul's hopes will be raised; and might just as quickly be dashed. Neverthcless, we have to give him a chance. It's our duty, Tessa.'
'My first duty is to protect my husband from hurt,' she told him evasively. 'I'm not willing that he should have his hopes raised and then dashed 'again. He's had treatment and it failed. I'm convinced it would fail again.'
'Tessa,' said Joe, rising and taking her glass from her trembling hand, 'let's go to bed. No one thinks clearly at this time of the night.' He put the glass on the tray. 'Off you go and try to sleep.'
But she sat there far into the night, gazing out on to the distant sea; and the first rosy glow of dawn had touched the sky when at last she went to bed. Paul was in the other room, to which she had followed him earlier. She peeped in. Through the shadowed light escaping from the shutters she observed that he slept. But he appeared restless, for his breathing was heavy and uneven.
Silently she left, her heart and mind in turmoil Was it possible that he would ever see again? 'She had heard that rest and special treatment or even another shock could prove effective in restoring loss of eyesight resulting from shock. And as Joe said, the doctors could have been wrong .... 'I won't let him know,' she whispered, looking in the mirror and seeing only the snub little nose and the high cheekbones that nature had not moulded so finely as her sister's. She did not see the lovely eyes, nor the tenderness and compassion reflected there; she did not notice the sweet and beautiful curve of her lips, or stop for a moment to think they could be as desirable as Lucinda's. 'No, I'll never let this specialist even look at him. I'm not losing my husband I'm not!' But she tossed and turned, rose from the bed and lay down again, her mind in complete disorder as her conscience fought with her heart. 'He's mine ... why should I run the risk of losing him? And why did Joe have to come here, upsetting our lives? He should mind his own business Duty he was not even a relative merely a friend. What right had he to talk about duty? 'It's I, Paul's wife, who shall make the decision.' Yes, only she had the right to decide. The right to decide. Tessa paced the room, then turned as Paul came in. He was in pyjamas and dressing gown, with his black hair falling in attractive disorder on to his forehead.
'You're very restless,' he said, coming towards her with the aid of his stick. 'I've heard you moving about for the past hour or so. Are you feeling ill?'
'No, it's just that I can't sleep. Perhaps it's the wine. You know it doesn't agree with me.'
'Come here.' She obeyed and his arms encircled her.
Where was the primitive embrace to which he invariably subjected her? Why weren't his fingers cruelly eating into her waist?
'The wine, is it?' He kissed her ... and she knew. 'You're playing with me again.' She raised her lovely eyes and looked into his face. 'I beg of you don't. Not just now.'
'Why not now?' Curt and cold his voice, but touched with an odd inflection. 'I'll play with you just whenever I like.'
She sagged with resignation, and yet spoke to him pleadingly.
'I'm very tired, Paul.' .
He touched her neck and then her chin. His fingers moved lightly over her face, tracing a line from her brow to. her mouth. His own mouth was tight, with a hint of grey at the corners. He touched her nose, that snub little nose that was so unlike Lucinda's. Tessa held her breath. Paul had done this many times before, but in a perfunctory sort of way. as if without interest. But now he seemed most intent on what he did. At last he uttered a deep sigh which told her nothing. His mouth remained set and there was about him a harshness that seemed different from anything she, had known before. Roughly he pushed her from him.
'You're tired, are you?' His voice was so soft that she barely heard it, yet something in the tone sent a tingle down her spine. 'Then go back to bed and try to sleep.' He stood for a space as if gripped by some sort of indecision. And then he left her, returning to his own room, The latch clicked, echoing through the silence of the house ... and Tessa felt the presence of an even greater barrier between her husband and herself, experienced the hopeless sensation of being shut out of his life for ever.
IT was only four thirty in the morning, but Tessa was awake, standing by her bedroom window, looking out over the mountains. A dark mist shrouded the summits, and the sky was overcast. The whole dismal aspect suited her mood and she stood there a long while, staring at a landscape that had become featureless, half hidden as it was by the swirling haze of mist. The sun came up, but lacking its golden splendour. The disc of pearl rising so swiftly that its ascent was plainly discernible as she watched, sent slanting rays of dull light through the branches of the trees. Soon the mist and cloud would disappear; the rays of pearl would turn to gold and the whole landscape would gleam with incandescent colour as the sun rose higher in the sky. But for the present it reflected the bleakness within her and she moved away from the window, as if reluctant to witness the shining miracle that was to come. Taking her dressing gown from the bed, she put it on and went into the corridor. The door of Paul's room stood slightly open and she heard his even breathing as, pausing momentarily, she listened for some sound from within. Why had he taken to sleeping alone? Ever since the episode of the snake, it was, she reflected, trying to bring to mind any incident that would provide her with a clue as to the reason for this change in him. Before, she had been his woman' as a wife was termed in Cyprus; he had taken what he desired, and although he gave neither love nor tenderness in return Tessa had felt strangely close. For she herself had given much. Manifested in her response was all the love she felt for him, all the tender compassion with which her heart overflowed. Yes, she had been close, and it was that closeness which had kept her hope alive. But now. . . .
She moved away, continuing along the corridor to take her shower, her thoughts still on this inexplicable change that had come over her husband. He had adopted a coolness towards his friend during the last days of Joe's stay, This too was unaccountable and Tessa could not help when Joe inquired as to the cause of it.
'I can't think why he should be like this.' she had answered bewilderedly. 'He was so glad to meet you again, and I'm sure he's enjoyed your company up till just recently.'
'Perhaps it's his condition.' Joe had said tolerantly. 'It's understandable that he'll be subjected to moods.'
From the moment of saying goodbye to his friend at the airport Paul had become even more distant towards Tessa, and for the past fortnight he had scarcely spoken a civil word to her. In addition, he had become morose, and when he was not sitting in silence, a brooding expression on his face, he was in his room, lying on the bed, with all the shutters closed. As the days passed and he still remained apart she several times resolved to broach the subject to him, but always her courage failed her.' Clearly he did not want her and she felt sure he would have some wounding reply ready were she to request a reason for his loss of interest in her as a wife.
In addition to this almost complete withdrawal, Paul now seemed possessed of some new hatred, and to her dismay Tessa's hopes began to crumble, almost conquered by despair. And yet she hung tenaciously on, for although her husband had drifted so far away from her during the past fortnight, there had been a couple of occasions when he had relaxed, sharing her interest and dropping his harsh and sneering manner.
The first of these occasions was when they went up into the Troodos Mountains. They had planned to take Joe there, but time had run short and he had preferred to visit the, Karpas instead. Tessa had tentatively suggested they go on their own and to her surprise and satisfaction he had agreed.
Paul had seemed profoundly sensitive to the air, whose clear crystalline quality had an intoxicating effect on them both. 'This is a wonderful place.' he declared as they sat having their picnic lunch under the shade of the pines. 'How high are we?'
Tessa had the guide book; she scanned the page swiftly. 'We're not far from the summit of Mount Olympus, and that's over six thousand feet.'
'There don't appear to be any people.' Paul took the glass which Tessa put to his hand, and had a drink. 'I've heard no voices other than ours.'
'We're quite alone.' Her eyes wandered over the mountain slopes. 'There's an old woodcutter about,' she amended. 'But no tourists at all.'
'It's a little early in the day.' They had set out at five in the morning and it had been an exhilarating drive, abounding with hairpin bends as they rose higher and higher into the volcanic core of the southern massif, which differed so greatly from the narrower limestone range of the north. Tessa had warmed to her husband's comments on her driving, glowing with pleasure when he said, in a rather odd sort of tone, 'You drive like an expert. Anyone would think you were used to roads like these. I can't think why you were so diffident when I suggested buying a car.'
'The road to our house did rather frighten me,' she owned, then added modestly, 'Anyone who can drive would find this road fairly simple. It was only when we made the detours into the villages that the roads became rough and rocky.'
Their lunch finished, they wandered. leisurely through the trees. 'The scent of the pines.' murmured Tessa in that sweet and gentle voice. 'Isn't it marvellous?'
'It is.' Lost in his own thoughts, Paul absently flicked his fingers over the back of her hand; It was an exploratory movement and had the effect of causing Tessa a strange uneasiness. And yet she felt sure that Paul himself was not conscious of the action .. The rock roses too,' he added at length. 'There must be masses of them.' ,
'They're everywhere but they'll be over very soon.'
'The perfume's different from anything else I've known. It's the smell of the rose, but it seems to tell you you're up in the mountains.'
She said nothing, and they continued to stroll along, hand in hand, two people so close and yet divided, both appreciating the same things, both reveling m the heady tang of the mountain air and the exquisite peace of isolation. But all was not entirely silent, for the breeze rustled incessantly through the trees and occasionally the song of a bird would echo against the mountainside.
'Do you want to go up to the summit of Mount Olympus?' she asked. 'The road is clear'
'Certainly; we should have a wonderful view.
So naturally the words came out; something caught at Tessa's heartstrings and as they made their way to the summit and she lived again through the terrible ordeal of that night when Joe had hinted that Paul might be able to regain his sight. 'I've made my decision,' she whispered to herself. 'I'm not losing him.' But try as she would Tessa could not escape the nagging persistence of her conscience, Only an hour before she and Paul had taken him to the airport Joe had talked seriously to Tessa, firmly stating that, no matter what the outcome might be, she should allow Paul to see this specialist, When she remained adamant he had almost lost his temper. , '
'It's a downright selfish attitude, Tessa! And whatever you say I'm going to get in touch with this fellow myself. I shall make sure he sees Paul, you can resign yourself to that! '
'I don't see how you can arrange, anything without my help.'
'You'll help when the time comes.'
'I won't.' So pale she was, and her heart and mind were in complete chaos. 'I won't ever let Paul know anything about him.'
Strangely 'Joe's anger dissolved and his voice was soft and kind as he Said, 'You'll think again; I know you will, simply because you're Tessa.'
She looked at him, her eyes brimming with tears, and said tremblingly, 'He's mine mine! I won't let him go. I can see for him, I can, and I will, always! '
'But you're not happy, 'Tessa,' was the rather gentle response.
'I'm happier this way than if I didn't have him at all.'
Despite this assertion, and his own change of mood, Joe finally reaffirmed his intention of getting in touch with this doctor of whom he had heard, telling Tessa he would write to her immediately he had done so.
Tessa remained stubbornly silent and no more was aid on the matter. Would Joe contact, this specialist? Tessa did not 'see that anything could be done without her co operation ... and that she would never give.
'We must be nearing the summit now.' Paul's voice brought her back to her surroundings.'
'Yes, we are. And Paul, as you said, it's the most wonderful view '
'Tell me about it.'
'It', exactly like a raised map,' 'she began. 'Looking north is over the range is the Kyrenia Mountains, and the peaks look very jagged indeed from here. They appear dark, too, for the distance makes the sky over there seem a sort of lilac shade no, violet, but paler, if you know what I mean. To the south are the raggy spurs of the Troodos and you can tell, Paul, that when the snows here melt the torrents must be quite impressive, because the hills are deeply carved and cut by these streams. Do they have a lot of snow on the Troodos?'
'Normally, yes, though we haven't had much this year. However, people come here for winter sports.'
'Yes, well, I thought so, for as I said, the landscape is deeply dissected.' She went on to describe the carob covered plain which fanned out from the low spurs and rolled away into the distance, and all the while she was conscious of being the object of her husband's interest, Gone was the indifference, the sarcasm and the sneers. No shadow of his hatred loomed up to form a barrier between them. It was a day of harmony, and Tessa's spirits rose. If they could be like this then how could her hopes perish?
The second occasion on which Paul's manner relaxed was at the village wedding.
Earlier there had been the ceremony of the preparations the bride with all her attendants helping to deck her in her finery, the bridegroom's being shaved for the last time as a bachelor. All his best men and there were dozens of them were gathered around making jokes and langhing. Much ceremony, yes, but all very lighthearted and rather casual. The custom of the preparation of the marriage bed was also conducted in this gay and casual way. The men danced with the mattress held aloft; the maidens decorated it; tying ribbons in each corner; a baby boy was bounced upon it in order to ensure fertility of the marriage and money was "tossed on to it so that the couple might never suffer poverty ....
More laughter and merriment after the ceremony itself, with the bride and groom walking along the 'street from the church and the whole of the village following.
'Have you enjoyed it?' Tessa asked as they, drove home in the car. 'I thought it was fun.'
'Yes, enjoyed it.'
But 'he said no more, and the next day there had been a resumption of his brooding, his preference for solitude. All through the morning and afternoon he had sat in the garden, clad only in shorts and sandals, his body so brown that it was immune to the relentless heat of the sun. So healthy he looked! It seemed impossible for a man of such vigorous bodily strength to be as helpless as Paul. Unknown to him, Tessa watched her husband from a chair on the verandah, even while her eyes were constantly on the alert for any danger in the form of snakes. They were rare in these parts she had since been told, nevertheless, she always remained close to his side.
Paul was still sleeping when Tessa passed his door again on her way from her shower, and she went out to the garden, into the cool morning air on which hung the fragrance of roses sprinkled with dew. Unmistakably this was a paradise isle. How perfect life could be if only some sort of unity existed between her husband and herself.
For the next few days Paul kept to his room, lying on the bed with all the shutters closed, emerging only at meal times and in the evening, when dusk had fallen and all was dim and cool.
'Is your head hurting very badly?' She had gone in to him, risking his impatience, for it was not only her concern for him that troubled her, but her conscience too.
'Go away! ' he snapped. 'And close that door!'
She closed the door, shutting out the light, but she crossed over to the bed and stood there, looking down at him, a terrible battle raging within her. But perhaps Joe was wrong, she thought, desperately trying to assuage her conscience, and there was in fact no possibility of Paul's sight being restored. And if that were the case it would be utter cruelty to let this doctor see him, raising his hopes only to have them dashed again. No, she was acting in the most humane way, and she would not allow her conscience to trouble her like this.
'Paul. ... Please let me stay with you.' she begged, taking the liberty of sitting down on the bed. 'You're lying awake, and I can talk to you---'
'I don't want you to talk to me not you! '
She flinched, yet her eyes flickered oddly. Why the emphasis?
'I can't bear to see you like this.' she whispered. 'I want to be with you. Please don't send me away, I'll just sit here quietly.'
He turned on to his back, but did not speak for awhile, When he did the harshness had gone from his voice.
'What good will that do you?'
His tone gave her hope, and she said gently, 'I just want to be be near you ... .' If only she could relieve him, have the plan herself. Timidly she touched his forehead. Her hand was soft and cool and to her surprise he did not brush it off, but seemed to derive some small comfort from it.
'You just want to be near me.' He became lost in thought. Was it merely a trick of the light, escaping through the shutters, or had his mouth taken on a softer line?
She sat very still silently watching him, remembering her impression that he had become possessed of an added hatred for her. This seemed to create an inner conflict and she recalled that Joe had commented on it.
But as he lay there, obviously in great pain, Tessa noticed a sudden quivering of his body, as if every muscle had become relaxed and an all enveloping tenseness had been released, freeing him forever. He raised a hand and wonderingly laid it over hers. His voice was almost gentle as he said, 'You would sit here, in the dark ... just so that you can be near me?'
'I'd rather be here than anywhere else,' she quivered, 'I only want to be where you are.'
His fingers moved over her hand. 'You never complain, do you?' A half smile touched his lips and this time there was no mistaking the softness it brought to his mouth., 'No matter how I treat you, you never utter one word of complaint! '
For a moment she stared. This mood was entirely new to her.
'What right have I to complain? Icame to you of my own free will.'
'Thinking that you would have my love?'
A tight little lump in her throat made speech difficult. 'Thinking that I would have your love.'
He took his hand from hers; she still felt his touch as she withdrew her own hand from his forehead. 'Tell me, what made you so sure you'd have my love?'
'You said when we parted, that you'd t take me back---I didn't suspect you hoped for revenge.'
'And if you had?' Slanting rays of sun filtered through the bars of the shutters and fell across Paul's face. She half expected him to shade his eyes, but he didn't appear to be in any way discomfited by these shafts of light. She also felt sure his head was not aching quite so badly, for the twisted lines of pain had disappeared from his face. 'Would you still have come to me?'
She considered this, and shook her head bewilderedly. 'I can't say, Paul.' And then, 'Yes, I think I would, because I'd have hoped as I still do hope that some day you might forgive me for---'
A hand sought her face and fingers were pressed to her' lips.' What a surprising gesture! He had deliberately prevented her from finishing what she had been about to say. Hither to he had gloated over her contrition and humility openly revelling in the fact of her being engulfed in the consciousness of her own guilt. His fingers moved from her lips, exploring every line of her face; they found her throat and her shoulders; they gently touched her forehead, tracing the hairline do on to her temple. His lips moved, and a sort of quivering sigh broke the hush that had descended upon the room. It was a tense moment, with Paul in a sort of half trance and Tessa anxiously awaiting the end of the exploration, so that she could breathe again.
Presently Paul spoke, his hand now lying at his side. 'I feel much better all at once my head's stopped aching.' He sat up and Tessa moved to the bottom of the bed so that he could get off it if he wished. 'Do you know, my dear, I think I'd like to go out somewhere.'
"You would?' Her voice was soft and eager. 'We could go for a drive.'
'Yes, I'd like that.'
'It will do you such a lot of good, for you've been in so much lately.' She paused a moment, her face clouding suddenly in doubt. 'You're sure you feel up to it?' Paul slid off the bed, a smile touching his lips at the anxiety in her voice.
'I feel up to it. Come here.'
Tessa obeyed, her heart turning right over, for there was an indulgence on his face she had never seen before. It erased completely every vestige of harshness and his features took on the handsome noble lines that had attracted her on their very first meeting attracted her like a moth to a flame ....
Paul took her in his arms, holding her with a strange new tenderness. And although the kiss was possessive it was at the same time infinitely gentle and the only barrier to her happiness was the rather vague idea that Paul was responding to some kind of compulsion of which he was half ashamed; the result was a hint of reluctance in his embrace, a certain restraint in his kiss. Nevertheless Tessa was content, grateful for whatever her husband gave her.
'Well,' he said at length, 'what about that drive?' She told Takis to prepare a packed lunch and they were on their way within an hour of Paul's making up his mind. Tessa had not felt so happy since the idyllic period of her sublime ignorance of her husband's true intent. For he was in a tender indulgent mood and he was free from pain.
'Where shall we go?' she asked as, skirting the centre of Kyrenia, she headed for the coast road. 'Shall we just drive, and take a turning if we like the look of it?' A slip; she so seldom made one, and Tessa held her breath, sending him a fearful little sideways glance. To her relief he merely smiled and said, 'That wonld be a good idea. We shall probably hit upon something quite delightful.'
Tessa's eyes shone. Little had she known on timidly entering his room and begging him to let her stay that this would be the outcome. During their conversation, as he lay there on the bed, he had seemed gradually to emerge from the mental apathy and brooding introversion that had settled upon him since the incident of the snake. It was as if some revelation had hit him forcibly, and Tessa could not help wondering if at last her love had touched and penetrated some vulnerable spot in his make up. .
'We're passing through Morphou,' she informed him presently. 'They're all orange trees now, but the oranges are over.' She looked swiftly at him; his features were relaxed and Tessa had the satisfaction of knowing he was enjoying the trip as much as she. 'The bay's so beautiful, Paul, and the sea oh, it's a heavenly colour! a sort of indigo, yet blending to aquamarine. And there's a shimmering haze that seems to be floating above it rather like a quivering bloom, if you know what I mean. I think it's going to be very hot indeed today.'
'Perhaps we'll go in the sea, then. Have you brought our swimming things?'
'Yes, they're in the car all the time.' She looked around swiftly, 'Do you want me to find a place now?'
'Later; when it becomes really hot.'
They drove in silence for a while, then Paul asked where they were,
'Still on the coast passing through Xeros.' She gave a little laugh. 'There's a man sitting outside his house smoking his hookah pipe, and he looks so serious, just as it he were employed in some very important task.'
'I expect what he's doing is important to him.' A pause and then, 'It makes you realize you're really in the East when you see these pipes.'
When you see .... Her conscience again. Determinedly Tessa thrust it back into the recess of her mind.
'Would you like to go to Vouni Palace?' she asked, catching a glimpse of a signpost, 'I've heard it's in a fantastic setting.'
He agreed, and soon Tessa was parking the car dose to the custodian's hut. The custodian was not there and they walked over to the palace on their own. Not a soul anywhere; Tessa said it was like having the world to themselves. 'We're right on top of a hill,' she explained, 'On a plateau, and the ruins of the palace are all about us.'
They walked around and Tessa described the baths and the wells and the marble pavements, 'This palace would be for one of the local kings, wouldn't it?' And when he nodded, 'The site is superb, for the sea's down below, and looking the other way 'are the Troodos Mountains.' After wandering about, the sole occupants of the beautiful palace, Tessa found a place for their picnic and spread the rug on the ground. An intense silence enveloped the whole magnificent site. There was not a movement in all the great expanse of sea below, not a
breath of wind or the rustle of a leaf to break the solemn hush around them, and Tessa found herself whispering, 'Sandwiches, Paul. All mixed; I'll put them here, just in front of you, Would you like lemonade Or do you prefer a hot drink?'
'What have we?'
'Both tea and coffee.'
'I'll have coffee.' A hint of amusement touched the corners of his mouth. 'What are we whispering for?'
A tinkling little laugh echoed through the stillness, 'It's sort of s sacred up here, You feel the presence of the ancient gods, There was a great temple to Athena, right on the highest point of the hill. Can't you imagine all the ceremony, and the sacrifices? And can't you see the king, clapping his hands to, fetch his slaves running to him?'
Paul laughed, and Tessa' stared, Had she ever heard him laugh like that? If so it was only at the beginning, neither of them had laughed much since the day Paul had enlightened her as to his reason for marrying her. She continued to stare, acutely sensitive to his attractiveness as a man.
'What are you thinking?' he wanted to know, speaking in a rather authoritative tone. 'Tell me.'
She paused in indecision. No words of hers should lead the conversation into channels which could mar the harmony of this lovely day. 'Nothing important,' she replied evasively, and for the first time sensed a mastery untinged by hate.
'You'll tell me, all the same.'
'No, Paul, don't make me.'
He frowned. 'But now I'm all curiosity, Why this reluctance to tell me of your thoughts?'
She had no alternative than to confess her fears.
'If I tell you it will spoil our day.' He would not have that and at last she said, 'I was thinking that neither of us has laughed much.' Her voice was rather bleak, and she waited, his coffee in her hand, to see what effect her words would have on him. To her surprise no biting comment was forthcoming, she was given no harsh reminder that they had nothing about which to laugh. Instead, as he turned towards her, she found her surprise increasing to amazement as signs of regret shadowed his handsome face.
'We haven't laughed much,' he agreed in rather gentle tones. 'Perhaps, though, we'll begin from now to laugh a little more.'
Emotion spread over her and she could not speak.
On the way back she found a lovely bay and they swam for a while and dried themselves in the sun, but few words passed between them for Paul was silent too. And during the drive home, much later, in the coolness of the late afternoon, both were strangely quiet. Only now and then did Tessa make some comment, on the scenery or the changing colour of the sea and sky. Once Paul said, 'The way you talk about this road I think it must be one of the most beautiful on the island.'
She agreed. The road kept to the shore for some way before striking inland to traverse the foothills of the lovely Kyrenia Mountains. It later rejoined the coast and the impressive vista was the grey and jagged outline of the mountains to one side and the great expanse of sea to the other .. Occupying the narrow plain between were the carob trees and olive groves; oleanders were blooming on the roadside or massed along a damp but silent river bed. 'They're the most beautiful colours,' she told Paul after mentioning them to him. 'They're all shades from deepest violet rose to a delicate pink.' A little while later she drew into the side of the road and stopped. 'Pomegranate trees all along the road, and they have the appearance of a vivid red mist. I must get you a flower.' She picked a rose too, a wild rose with all its natural fragrance unimpaired by hybridation. This she merely placed on the shelf before Paul and soon its perfume filled the car. 'Here's the pomegranate flower. It's the most brilliant crimson and looks just like wax. Feel it for yourself.' She 'sat and watched his sensitive fingers as they made their gentle exploration of the flower, 'That part at the end the part you are touching now is the fruit. You can actually see the little brown pomegranate.'
At last he put it down and picked up the rose; he held it to his face, and at his change of expression a most odd sensation crept over Tessa. She experienced a profound desire to see what lay hidden behind those protective glasses her husband now invariably wore.
Tessa did not know how she expected the day to end, but it had been so perfect that she experienced an actual sense of shock when, immediately they arrived home, Paul announced his intention of going to bed. He bade her good night; her response was hesitant, her voice unsteady. But he appeared not to notice and as he left her she had the impression that he was again in the grip of conflict.
She lay awake, then sat up and tried to read. The words ran into one another and she put the book aside. Was Paul sleeping? Driven by some impulse she could not check, Tessa got out of bed and went into the corridor. Instinct told her that Paul too was awake and she stood silently by his door, listening, No sound; the door was not on the latch and she gently pushed it inwards. Paul was by the open window clad only in pyjama trousers. She saw him framed there, against a background of moonlit crags, his proud head erect, his shoulders set in a straight and arrogant line. The night air was gentle and cool on his face; his black hair was ruffled into slight disorder.
For a long while Tessa stood there, watching the still and silent figure of her husband, then all at once he turned; she knew he had sensed her presence and hastily uttered his name.
'Paul ... .'
No answer for a space and then, in tones edged with harshness and impatience,
'Wha,t are you doing here?'
'I couldn't sleep.' His manner hurt, but she walked slowly into the room and stood beside him. 'You can't sleep, either.'
'So' Even in the semi darkness she plainly discerned the arrogant lift of his brow.
'May I stay a little while?' He stiffened, and she frowned. Conflict again. Paul was fighting and being torn to shreds in the process. 'Perhaps I'd better go,' she decided, speaking in flat and whispered tones. 'I'm sorry I disturbed you, Paul.'
She had reached the door when he spoke, and it seemed to Tessa that the words were wrung from him against his will.
'No ... come back.'
Slowly she turned, yet with an eagerness that was imparted to him. And before either of them realized it she was in his arms, locked in a gentle, tender embrace. 'My little girl. .. .' All inner strife was released in a deep and trembling sigh as, bending his dark head, he kissed her on the lips.
A long while later, as she lay in his arms, with the first light of dawn filtering through the shutters, she murmured softly, 'Paul ... this isn't' part of the punishment? You're not playing with me again?'
His arms tightened. She felt the firm and even beating of his heart above her own. He murmured to her in soft and gentle tones, 'This isn't part of the punishment; I'll never play with you again.'
THE warmth and harmony that entered into their relationship from that day on affected them both.'
Tessa bloomed, in much the same way that she had bloomed during the first three weeks of her marriage. The fact that the love and tenderness her husband gave her were really meant for her sister troubled Tessa not at all. When first embarking on this masquerade she had resigned herself to second best and this she gratefully accepted.
As for Paul himself, it seemed that having at last extended to Lucinda a full pardon, he had shed a heavy weight and this was at first reflected in the disappearance of his headaches. However, just as, Tessa had satisfied herself that the pains had resulted from strain and that they had nothing to do with his eyes at all, they began to trouble him once more. He was lying on the bed when she went in to him after lunch one day.
'Darling, is it so very bad?'
'It is, dear.'
'The chemist he doesn't seem able to give you anything.'
'He's done his best.' Paul felt for her hand and put it to his temple. 'That's better.' he sighed, and Tessa swallowed a hard little lump in her throat.
True to his word, Joe had contacted the doctor who, extremely interested, had expressed the desire to see Paul.
I'm sure you've had second thoughts Joe had continued in his letter, which she had received ten days ago. If you'll say when you can bring Paul to London, I'll arrange for the interview. The doctor's name is Reade Mr. John Reade, and he's so keen that he offered to see Paul any time. I carefully explained about the accident, and Paul's subsequent blindness. Quite naturally Mr. Reade was reserved, saying very little, but his expression was such that I knew he was most eager to give Paul an examination. Don't hesitate, Tessa, I'll expect a reply by return.
Paul at that time was free from pain, and he was happy. Tessa threw the letter away.
'Shall I bathe your head with cold water?' she offered. 'It helped you once before, remember?"
He smiled faintly. In spite of his pain his manner was indulgent.
'Bathe it if you want to, dear.'
She fully understood. 'You know it won't help this time, don't you?'
A pause; his hand was gently pressed to hers. 'I've reached the conclusion that nothing will do me any good. I shall just have to resign myself to these pains though what the cause can be I'm quite unable to think. It isn't as if I've ever been prone to head aches.'
Pulling her hand from under his, she straightened up. 'Would you like to be quiet?' she gently asked, unsuccessfully trying to dismiss the contents of Joe's letter from her mind. 'Shall I leave you, dearest?'
'For a little while. I'm sure this willgo later.' And then he added, 'This life is so dull for you we'll dine out this evening, at the Mare Monte. You'll like that?' Always his concern was for her ... always since the day of their visit to Vouni.
'Only if you're quite better, Paul. And as for my life's being dull I'm perfectly happy and content just to be with you.'
Just to be with him .... It was an hour later and Tessa was, in the vine covered courtyard, pacing to and fro. She was 'happy .... But what about Paul? 'He's happy too, I know he is, I'm not going to let him go!'
The moments passed, slow agonizing moments of battling with her conscience. Joe was so optimistic; on hearing about the case the doctor had become keenly interested. Was there hope for her husband's sight? She would never know unless she surrendered to her conscience. Her heart cried out against this course and when, only a few minutes later, Paul appeared looking as if he had never had a headache in his life, she immediately cast off her doubts and indecision.
'You're better?' she breathed, sending up a prayer of thankfulness. 'You look fine.'
With the aid of his stick he guided himself to a chair and sat down.
'It went quite miraculously. It could be the heat, I suppose although it's never affected me so before.' 'Yes, it could be the heat,' she agreed, seizing on that explanation. 'Would you like anything, Paul? Can I fetch you a drink?' '
'No, darling, but you can read to me.'
'The newspaper?'
He nodded and she went into the house to fetch it.
Takis had been down to the village and the post was on the table. Her heart missed a beat as she saw Joe's handwriting. Tremblingly she slit the envelope and withdrew the single sheet of notepaper. Joe began by expressing surprise at not receiving a reply to his letter, and then he continued, I had given my telephone number to Mr. Reade and he rang me last week. He's rung again today and sounded faintly annoyed. As I told you, he's so dedicated that he goes out of his way to discover this kind of case. He insisted on seeing Paul and this seems to me to indicate optimism on his part, I expect you to do something, Tessa, You can't deny Paul the opportunity of seeing this doctor. Nothing may come of it, but he must be given a chance. Write immediately ....
Slowly she crushed the letter in her hand and, picking up the other letter, which was from her father, she then collected the newspaper and went outside to her husband. The Cyprus Mail was small, only one large sheet, and she was through it in no time at all.
'Shall I read a book?' she then asked, eyeing her father's letter, which lay on the table by her elbow. 'Or do you want the radio?'
'I'll have the radio.' It was on the table and she pushed it forward, leaving Paul to find the station for himself. Soon the gay strains of bouzouki music echoed softly through the sunlit garden. Tessa took up her father's letter. Lucinda was married the previous Saturday and she 'looked like a lovely angel in her flowing white gown'. If she had been in any way upset by her sister's absence Mr. Blane tactfully refrained from mentioning it. Lucinda knew Tessa was in Cyprus, believing her to be, teaching. She had no idea where Paul was. Joe had rightly guessed that the blind Greek 'recluse' living in the mountains above Bellapais was his friend, but as he was not on speaking terms with Lucinda she, like most others who had known Paul, believed him to be on one of the 'Greek islands. Tess', father went on, As your marriage has turned out so well, don't you think we might let your mother into the secret? It has been a difficult one for me to keep, though fortunately Mother has never been a letter writer and she leaves the writing and posting entirely to me. The deception was for her sake, to save her anxiety, but as you're obviously happy there seems no reason why she should be kept in ignorance of the marriage. She'll be a little hurt, I'm sure, about the deception, but thank heaven, she's most understanding and won't reproach either of us. Let me know how you feel about this, my girlie. Take good care of yourself and give my sincere regards to 'your husband.'
'What are you doing?' Paul turned the sound down as he spoke. 'You're very quiet.'
She hated the idea of lying, but there was so little in the letter she could read to Paul that she had no alternative.
'Just thinking.'
'About what?' Was it imagination', or was there a curious ring to his voice?
'Well, Father and Mother,' she was able to say truthfully.
His dark brows lifted a fraction, 'Only your parents? What about your brothers and your sister?'
She looked swiftly at him, and became guarded. 'I think about them, naturally, but it was my parents I was thinking about just now.'
Paul appeared to have lost interest and to be listening to the chirping of the cicadas, which could be heard above the drone of insects in the flower borders. 'How would you like to visit them?' he asked. 'It would be a pleasant change for us both and we could also visit our friends,' he added smoothly, turning his head in her direction almost as if he would by some miracle be able to note her reaction.
'Friends ... no! Oh no,' she blurted out, the colour draining from her face. 'I don't w want to v visit England, not ever!'
'Not ever? But, my darling---'
'I didn't mean that,' she interrupted in a shaky little voice, while at the same time endeavouring to regain her composure. 'Naturally we must go some time to England. But not yet, Paul. Next year will be quite soon enough.'
She watched his face, so dark and strong, with features etched in fine and noble lines, and a brow low and furrowed beneath the mass of jet black hair. For no apparent reason she saw those dark and piercing eyes regarding her with that hint of arrogant impatience, heard the soft contemptuous tones he had used when talking so disparagingly to Joe about her at the party. Those eyes were hidden now behind dark glasses; the voice was filled with tenderness when he spoke ... tenderness for Lucinda.
'Very well, darling. Next year, if that is what you want.'
Relief flooded over her; she was safe for the time being. Let the future take care of itself.
Another letter arrived from Joe the following week.
He 'made no attempt at civility and actually accused Tessa of selfishness. She replied, briefly, saying she was quite sure nothing could be done for Paul and that it would be cruel to let him see this doctor, only to be told, finally, that his case was hopeless.
The July day was scorching hot and Tessa suggested they do their shopping as quickly as possible and leave the city behind. They had gone into Nicosia because Paul wanted some new clothes shirts and shorts mainly.
'This is the shop,' she told him, and a moment later they were inside and Paul was asking for what he wanted. 'This shirt's green do you want green?'
'What shade of green?'
'Well, just a little lighter than emerald.'
'Is it a pleasant colour?'
Tessa caught the eye of the shop assistant and something tugged at her heartstrings. This was the first occasion on which they had done this kind of shopping and the assistant was looking on with a sort of pitying surprise. What did a blind man want to trouble himself about colour for? he seemed to be saying.
'There's another here,' she said, putting it into his hand. 'I like it better than the one you have. This one's a sort of olive green and the material's a better quality don't you agree?'
'Yes, the quality's very fine.' His sensitive fingers moved with that peculiar tactility known only to the blind. 'But the colour, darling. Just tell me, exactly, what colour is it?'
She tried, but her voice faltered and tears filled her eyes. Never had she seen her husband quite so helpless as this. 'It should suit you,' she added lamely, catching the assistant's eye again. '
'I'll have it, then. What other colours are there?' 'Blue, and yellow---'
'I don't want yellow.' His fingers were moving over the counter and Tessa put another shirt into his hand. 'This is the blue one?'
Her lip trembled and she could not speak. Why I should she feel like this? They had been shopping before---But always Paul had known exactly what he had' wanted. It had been something from the chemist or some branded article that the shop assistant had been able to place instantly in his hand.
'That is the blue one,' the assistant answered, at the same time taking out yet another shirt from its transparent wrapping. 'This is a cheaper one but a very attractive colour.'
'It's purple,' said Tessa.
'Good lord! No, I'll just take the two---' As he spoke he went to put his hand in his pocket to get some money. In doing so he made a small turn and caught a life size model which had been standing near the counter close to his side. Obviously he did not know what he had knocked over, but he was fully aware of being the cause of the crash. The' assistant came round and picked up the model while Tessa just stood there, trembling from head to foot, watching Paul's face and seeing the hot colour creep up under the tan of his skin. He groped about as if to discover what had happened. Coming out of her stupor, Tessa said lightly, ,
'It was nothing, darling there's no harm done.' 'Let's get out of here.' His voice was tight and
cracked. 'Take me home.'
'But your shirts ' began the assistant. 'It doesn't matter, thank you.'
Tessa took his hand, and after throwing the assistant a glance of apology she led Paul from the shop.
The memory of the incident remained with him and he was quiet all the way home. Several times she saw him shading his eyes, even though he wore his dark glasses. That his head troubled him was certain, for his. Face became twisted and the now familiar patches of will stood out at the comers of his mouth.
'There's a cafe here, Paul. Would you like some coffee?' She half expected him to refuse, but to her surprise he said yes and she drew up at the side of the road, parking the car under the shade of the palms that ran along the front of the cafe.
'Yes, what can we do for you?' A young and handsome Greek came right to the entrance to greet them, smiling a welcome and glancing curiously from Paul to his young wife, and then down to their hands, clasped lightly together. Tessa looked round; as usual she was the only woman in the cafe. The men all looked at her, but by now she was used to these prolonged stares and merely followed the waiter to a table by the open window.
'Can we have coffee, please?' Paul felt for the chair· and sat down. 'One Turkish; one with milk.'
'What part of England do you come from?' the young man asked a few minutes later when, having brought their coffee, he sat down at their table. Tessa told him, and they all chatted together for a while. When they left he even accompanied them to the door and waved to them as they drove away.
The interlude had helped Paul get over his embarrassment, but for the rest of the way home he was quiet. Tessa also had fallen into a brooding silence, for her husband's plight had hit her, more forcibly than ever before. With so vigorous a personality and such physical strength this helplessness must be tearing him apart.
'I'll lie down.' he decided on arriving back at the house. 'I don't expect I'll sleep, but call me at teatime if I do.' He seemed utterly defeated, and there was no doubt in Tessa's mind that he suffered both mentally and physically.
The letter she had written to Joe was in her hand bag; she had meant to post it in Nicosia, but the incident in the shop had put everything else out of her mind. In any case, her one desire was to obey Paul's urgent request to be driven home. Taking out the letter, Tessa tore it up and put it in the waste paper basket. She then wrote another and lest she should falter in her resolve, she went down to the village immediately to post it. .
Once it had left her hand she stood there, staring at the letter box, a strange inertia taking possession of her. How long she remained there she did not know, but suddenly she became vaguely aware of the curious stares of the men sitting around in front of the cafe, Those playing trik trak had stopped; the driver of the bus that had just come up with the tourists was also watching her, oblivious of the fact that one of his passengers was waiting to ply him with questions about the Abbey and its history. Two women on donkeys slowed down and half a dozen little brown children waited shyly under the great tree, wondering what was wrong with this English girl that she just stood there, gazing vacantly at the letter box.
Flushing, she moved, to make her way through the narrow village street with its high, shuttered houses, its gardens blazing with hibiscus and bougainvillea, its courtyards scented with roses and shaded by delicate trailing vines.
After a while she saw nothing, for tears blurred her vision. Was this the beginning of the end? Had she struggled and fought to win her husband's love only to lose it so soon? And what would be his reaction to her deceit? She had played on his affliction, used his helplessness to gain what she had so greatly desired since her first fateful meeting with Paul. Terror held her, and she knew she could never face him. He had come near to crucifying her once; he would do so again, but he would torture her first, lash her with his scorn and contempt and bitter condemnation. For he must be bitter finding himself married to a girl he intensely disliked, a girl he found unattractive in every way, and who had 'made eyes at him' when he was almost engaged to her sister.
No, she could never face him ... but what must she do? Instinctively she looked for escape in the same way she had sought escape previously. A post abroad. That was all that was open to her. This man might not be able to help Paul; and even if he operated there was no certainty of success. But she must be prepared ....
Paul was still lying down when she reached the house and she glanced at her watch. Nowhere near teatime yet. Taking the car, she drove down into Kyrenia. She had never been in the Country Club, but she knew that all the English newspapers would be there. No one bothered to inquire if she were a member as she looked vaguely about her. Soon she found what she wanted and sat down with the Times Educational Supplement on a table in front of her and a pencil and paper in her hand.
Canada ... Australia ... Venezuela ... Hong Kong . . Hong Kong
STARLIGHT on the mountain and a pine scented breeze.' a rolling moon in a lustrous sky and crickets on the still night air ... so much to remember. ...
Tessa stood on the roof terrace, in that enchanted hour between the sun's descent and the fall of night, gazing wistfully down over a landscape of cypresses and olives, of swaying palms and carob trees. Tomorrow she was leaving' ... never to return, she told herself.
Tenderness replaced the wistfulness in her eyes. Paul came up the steps, his head erect and a lightness about his bearing that brought a little catch of fear to her heart. Silently she sent up a prayer for the sucess of the coming treatment. .
For, after examining Paul in the London hospital fortnight ago, John Reade had accepted him as his patient. As there was no apparent damage to the optic nerve, treatment alone should prove successful in the restoration of the sight.
'But I've already undergone treatment.' Paul reminded him.
'It's my belief that some change has taken place,' returned John guardedly. 'Naturally I'm promising nothing, but I feel reasonably optimistic about the result of the treatment I should be giving you.'
Unwilling to risk the heartbreak of failure a second time, Paul made no immediate decision and they returned to Cyprus with only Joe being aware of her visit to England. However, urged by his wife, he soon agreed to place himself in John Read hands.
'I'm over here!' Tessa called as Paul reached the roof. He ran all the way round and he kept his finger lightly upon it, using it as a guide until he reached her, He had been having a bath when she informed him that she would be on the roof. As he came close, she said, slipping her arm through his, 'You smell nice.'
He laughed, a clear carefree laugh that caused her to send up another fervent prayer, If anything should go wrong, , . ,
'''Mountain Morn" after shave, What names they do think up! '
'I like it, though. The name suits it.' Raising herself on tip toe, she rubbed her nose 'against his cheek. 'Hmm ... yes, it's nice.'
And so are you nice His arms encircled her; he kissed her in a way that left her breathless, 'Shall I see you soon, my dear, sweet wife?' A strange quality in his tones, Tessa gave herself a little shake. Nerves, she suspected, nerves and the burden of suspense . . . but for the past two weeks she had several times imagined this peculiar quality in his voice whenever he spoke of the coming treatment and the possibility of regaining his sight, 'My own ... my beautiful, .. to see your face .... '
My beautiful, She pressed closer to him, putting her arms around his neck, Their last night together? The last night he would hold in his arms his beautiful Lucinda .. , before utter disillusionment? My beautiful , .. What tricks did fate play or rather she should say nature. For had nature been kinder Paul might have been hers right from the start.
They stood there quietly for a while, each deep in thought, What would he do, Tessa wondered, were he to know that all her things were packed, that most of her belongings had already been dispatched to England? What would he say were he to know that the day after he entered the hospital she would be attending an interview in another part of the city an interview for a post that would take her far, far away from him forever.
'Tell me about the night,' Paul requested at length, 'The air I can feel---cool and fresh and scented; The crickets I can hear, and that strange cry of the Iruit bat .' but what else is there?'
'A full moon, rolling between the clouds yes, Paul, there are clouds tonight, but silver ones. The stars are miniature pools of crystal and the colour of the sky between the clouds is deep purple, but sometimes you have streaks of soft amethyst which I suppose is caused by the moon's radiance penetrating the different thicknesses of cloud.' She. stopped as an incredulous little laugh escaped him,
'Sweetheart, whether I ever see for myself or not, you shall always tell me about these things.'
Always. , .. Little did he know.
'The palm trees,' she went on, gazing down to where they stood, silhouetted against the sky, 'their fronds are a sort of silver, as if the moonlight were superimposed upon them, and they're moving ever so slightly in the breeze---' She broke off and laughed 'A very romantic night, Paul.' The strain was beginning to tell and her voice broke slightly, This night she had meant to live, to treasure, forgetting what was to come - the heartache and the empty years ahead.
'Sweetheart---' Paul touched her face and her eyes, It was almost as if he expected to feel tears upon her cheeks or lashes, 'What is it, my love?'
" 'Nothing, Why should you ask?'
'Your voice your lovely voice is sad.'
She managed a laugh then. 'Not sad,' she denied. 'But I'm worried, naturally.'
'About the treatment?'
'Yes, about the treatment,'
'Whatever the outcome we still have each other." from the far distance came the plaintive bray of a
donkey tethered to its lonely hillside. They both listened, then Paul moved his head, interested only in her response, and she murmured, with the' confidence he would expect of her,
'Yes, Paul, we have each other.'
'And if it should go wrong---' She placed a finger on his lips. Gently he pulled her hand away and continued, ' you shall still see for me, and be my guide.'
'Don't talk about its going wrong,' she pleaded urgently. 'Mr Reade was so optimistic, expressing the opinion that a change had taken place, and I'm sure that it's a hopeful sign, darling.'
'With a thing like this the risk of failure is always present,' he warned her. 'We must not take it as a foregone conclusion that my' sight will be restored. I'm hoping, naturally, but at the same time I'm profoundly conscious of the fact that this is a gamble.'
A gamble .... And Paul's loss would be her gain, But she did not want to win. She closed her eyes. Tonight she must not cry not tonight. Her head came to rest against her husband's shoulder; he held her protectingly and they stayed like this for a long while, under a purple and amethyst sky, with the cool breeze caressing their faces as it swept gently down from the mountains to the sea.
They were out early the following morning, and although for the past two weeks the dull apathy of resignation had settled upon Tessa, it was only when she parked the car at the airport that she allowed the first tears of hopelessness to fall. '
Someone else would pick up the car. Someone, would drive Paul home, or perhaps he would drive himself for the first time since the terrible accident that had robbed him both of his loved one and his sight.
The flight went without incident. Joe met them at the airport and before she quite knew it Tessa was leaving her husband at the hospital.
There would be a period of observation , perhaps for a fortnight and during that time Tessa could visit the hospital every day.
'I'm going away.' Joe was driving Tessa from the hospital and he had asked how she was feeling about the treatment. 'If it's successful, that is,' she added, 'And I just feel it's going to be successful.'
'I feel it too. What do you mean, you're going away '
'Paul won't want me.' She stared at the road ahead.
They were approaching a traffic quelle. 'I must go be for the bandages are removed.'
Joe frowned heavily and said, 'You can't just fun from your husband like that. Where would you go to?'
'I've applied for a post abroad---'
'Oh, for heaven's sake! How do you know Paul won't want you?' ,
Her face was very pale. She recalled her struggle" her fight to earn her husband's forgiveness for the thing she had not done, She dwelt with irony on her success. She had regained, for Lucinda, the love that by her heartlessness she had lost. Not that it could benefit Lucinda now, but the knowledge did increase the bitterness with which Tessa was suddenly overwhelmed.
'He cares for Lucinda.'
'What good can that do him now?'
'It isn't a question of what good it will do him,' she returned, her voice reflecting the emptiness within her. 'It doesn't say that, not being able to have Lucinda, he'll accept second best and remain married to me.'
'Second best ... .' They had been in the queue, but the traffic moved and they were on their way again. He said, veering the topic somewhat, 'The Greeks don't lightly cast off their wives. Divorce is rare among them.'
She thought about this, 'Perhaps he'll not divorce me. But he won't want to live with me, for all that.'
Joe shrugged, realizing he would get nowhere with Tessa in this mood of dull resignation.
'Let's have something to eat before I take you home.'
Eat? Her thoughts flew to the Mare Monte .... So far away those romantic evenings when she and Paul had dined there. The lights and the music, the rock islands and the moon spangled wavelets silently' lapping the shore. Would Paul go there again? But of course he would, for it was his favourite place. And the next time she would not be there to see for him ... but then he wouldn't need her.
She ate with Joe in a crowded London restaurant, and then he took her home, promising to call and take her out now and then during the next week or two.
'You can't sit at home brooding.' he said as he left her.
But there was little time for brooding, except at night when sleep eluded her, for she obtained the post in Hong Kong, her previous experience of teaching abroad giving her an advantage over many of the other applicants. She would be expected to go out as soon as could be arranged, she was informed, and this suited her admirably. She could not give them an exact date for her departure from England, as this depended on how quickly Paul's eyesight was restored, but she promised to let them know as soon as possible. Her intention was to remain with her husband until the last moment, leaving only a short while before the bandages were to be removed. Her time, therefore, was fully occupied by preparations for the journey and subsequent settling in, and by her visits to the hospital.
Paul was in bed in a darkened room, his eyes bandaged. There must be no noise, no excitement, just complete rest and relaxation. However, Tessa was allowed in every day and from the first instant of waking she lived for the moment when she would be with him, sitting by the bed, tenderly holding his hand.
Many times during the period of her husband', treatment Tessa tried to gain some information from John Reade, but he could not be drawn out. Nevertheless, she sensed an optimism in his manner when he was in the room with Paul and this she took as a sign that he was completely satisfied with his patient's progress.
Vaguely Tessa heard the car stop; it scarcely registered, so absorbed was she in the almost Impossible task of packing all her requirements into the four tea chests that stood on the floor of the sitting room of her parents' house. Scattered all over the place were clothes and shoes, bed linen and towels, crockery and cooking utensils---to say nothing of the books and numerous teaching aids. Of the latter she would be profoundly grateful, she knew, having had experience The paucity of equipment in the majority of Englern schools.
Her mother stood just inside the door regarding the chaos around her, and dejectedly shaking her head.
'I wonder, dear, how many more times we shall have all this?'
Mechanically Tessa folded the towels she had bought only that morning. Her mother had washed and ironed them so that they would be ready for immediate use. 'I'm a wanderer, Mum. I expect I shall go on until I'm too old to work abroad.'
Ten years, or fifteen at most, for at thirty-five a woman had difficulty in obtaining a teaching post abroad. What would she do then? Surely the wound would have healed and she would be able to settle down in a comfortable post in her own country .. Where would Paul be? Would he now stay in England or would he return to Cyprus? 'Perhaps he would divorce her, for he had the grounds. Joe had expressed doubts about this, but Tessa often felt convinced that Paul would want to be rid of her just as quickly as he could.
'What can I do to help, dear?' Mrs. Blane's voice was sad, but resigned. She now knew all, and both she and her husband had done their utmost to dissuade their daughter from this hasty flight on the very day the bandages were to be removed from Paul's eyes. She could at least stay long enough to discover how he would react to her deception, they had pointed out, but Tessa was adamant. All the Blane children had been encouraged to think and act for themselves, to learn independence at an early age, and although she had shed many tears over the tragedy of her daughter's plight, Mrs. Blane had accepted Tessa's decision, leaving her to work out her destiny in her own way.
Tessa had found her father slightly more difficult. 'Girlie, you must see him.' 'he had said. 'You can't say for sure that he won't want you.'
'Don't let's talk about it.' she pleaded. 'I'm not willing to face him and that's all there is to it; he disliked me even before I did him this injury.'
'It was no injury, Tessa.'
'Certainly it was using his blindness to get what I wanted.'
'You don't know how he'll feel.' her father persisted, 'I know how he'll feel when he learns he's married to me.'
Her father became resigned then and to Tessa's relief he had allowed the matter to drop. Nevertheless there was something puzzling about him and during the past two days Tessa had on more than one occasion caught him casting her a furtive glance and then shaking his head, as if pondering over some troublesome thing of which he was half afraid.
'Shall I pack this underwear?' Mrs. Blane's low and musical voice brought Tessa back with a jerk to the disorder around her. She heaved a sigh and shook her head.
'I think I'd better do it myself, Mum. Perhaps I should have had a couple more boxes but they are such a lot to send.'
'Must you pack in such a hurry, and be off this evening?' .
'The men are coming for these boxes first thing in the morning.' she reminded her mother. 'As for my own departure you know why I'm going on tonights, flight.' She had to be at the airport at five o'clock Paul thought she would be at the hospital this after noon John Reade had told her to be there at four so she could be with Paul when the bandage were removed .
'Your husband has specifically requested that you be there.' Reade told her; the glow of victory bringing character to his rather nondescript features. 'Your face is the first thing he wants to see.'
Lucinda's face ... the beautiful face of the woman he loved.
Tessa glanced at the clock. Almost one. In three hours Paul would see ....
Her goodbye had been said yesterday, although Paul did not know it, of course.
'You're quiet, darling,' he had said, several times, and always it seemed to Tessa that there was a question in his tones, an odd expectancy in his manner.
"It's excitement,' was her repeated answer. 'Just think; this time tomorrow you'll be able to see!' He must remain in hospital for a few days after the removal of the bandages, and after that he would wear dark glasses for a while as protection against glare.
'Yes, I'll be able to see ... to see you, my sweet and lovely wife! '
An ache of bitterness settled in Tessa's heart. She thought of Lucinda, happily married to someone else; she thought of Paul and the disillusionment to come and she thought of herself ... loving so desperately, and yet unloved.
She had managed a lightness of manner as she kissed him, but her heart felt dead. The last kiss, the last glimpse of him as she turned before closing the door. Tears blinded her as she stumbled along the corridor. Gone. Paul had gone out of her life forever.
'Tessa, dear.' Her mother's gentle voice brought her once again out of her reverie and she looked up. 'That coffee set it would have been better to wrap it in the towels. Paper's all right, but it takes up room.'
'Yes, I suppose you're right, I'll---' Tessa broke off as the door bell rang; she stepped back,' to glance through the window. A taxi was parked outside the gate, but she could not manage to get a glimpse of the person at the front door.
'I'll go and see who it is.' As Mrs. Blane made move she heard her husband coming down the stain running, Tessa realized with a sudden frown, 'Your father's doing it.'
Mr. Blane had surprised Tessa and her mother by coming home from work at lunch time, saying he did not feel too well. But this puzzled them both, for not only had he never ailed a thing in his life but he had looked to be in the highest of spirits even while declaring himself to be off colour. Also, only ten minute later Tessa had heard him humming a tune to himself in the bathroom. She felt she must be wrong, but she had the strange idea that her father had not been to work at all that morning.
'I think I'll pack one of these boxes at a time,' Tessa said with decision, not in the least interested in their caller.
'That would be a good idea,' Mrs. Blane agreed, because you don't seem to be getting anywhere like this.'
Lack of enthusiasm for her task, said Tessa, but silently.
'You're quite right about that,' she owned, looking round. 'What a muddle the place is in!' She caught sight of herself in the mirror; hair all awry and a shiny nose .... .And what of her dress? There was distinctly dirty mark right across' the front made by her leaning over the tea chests, which were far from clean, having been lying in the grocers cellar for months. The sight of her own unkept appearance had a depressing effect on her. She felt like running away miles away from this room, from the disord behind her and the burden of packing. She felt like running away from everything ... from life itself.
'You'll get it straight---'
'So you made it?' Her husband's voice cut short the sentence and Mrs. Blane frowned in puzzlement. 'Who can that be?' she queried, but Tessa merely shook her head and picked up a pile of folded bedding sheets and pillow cases arid an embroidered cover.
'She's here?'
Tessa froze to the spot. Her mother went slightly pale and stepped out into the hall.
'Yes, she's here.' A small pause and then, 'I was , 'worried in case they wouldn't allow you out.'
'You needn't have let that trouble you; came the grim rejoinder. 'Where is she?' A murmur of voices and then,'
'In here .... '
Coming to life, Tessa flung down the bedding and began to drag at the tea chests, bringing them close and placing them, one by one, in a sort of half circle around her. It was an involuntary action, and only when she was standing there, behind her defensive barrier and in the midst of such disorder, did she realize just how ridiculous she must look.
Breathless, she lifted her head. Paul stood in the doorway, his eyes hidden behind dark glasses; yet she sensed their incredulity as Paul glanced round the room before settling his gaze on his wife's flushed countenance. She was the first to speak, in a cracked and tremulous little voice.
'Paul. .. .' Although she spoke his name she could scarcely grasp the fact of his presence. 'You've c come, to find Lucinda, b but she I .. .' Her voice trailed away into silence. How had he got here?
'I've come to find my wife.'
'Yes, I know; she trembled, 'But you s see, P Paul, that is, you're m married to ' She stopped, endeavouring to be more articulate. 'Oh, Paul, I' not Lucinda I ' she cried, covering her face with her hands.
He removed his glasses for a moment. He came towards her, then halted by the barrier.
'I can see you're not Lucinda,' he returned quietly, and she withdrew her hands and for a brief space forgot everything except the fact that her husband's sight was fully restored.
'You can see ... .' A great wonderment and tenderness mingled with the sweetness of her voice. Those same dark.' eyes that once had caused her heart to turn right over, those eyes that had raked her with contempt or looked right through her with bored in. difference, .. those eyes that had revealed all the love and tenderness he felt for Lucinda. 'You can see .... ' The final words were spoken on a deep and trembling sigh. Her husband was' lost to her for ever, but she knew she would make the same decision again. Was she called upon to do so. 'Why did they take the bandages off sooner than they said? How what made you come?' Fear clutched her heart now, for it seemed to Tessa that his eyes were hard and stern.
He did not immediately answer and to her astonishment she realised he was lost for words. His lips moved and she noticed a strange pulsation at the side of his jaw. Was he so angry he could not speak? Her frightened gaze went past him; her parents were still there.
'What's all this about?' he inquired softly making a comprehensive gesture with his hand. 'Are you going somewhere?'
She gave a tiny gasp. So prosaic his words, his voice. She had the impression he was unsure of himself.
'I'm going to Hong Kong,' was all she could find to say.
'Are you, indeed?' Paul replaced his glasses, at the same time glancing swiftly round again. She pushed trembling fingers through her hair. Where was his fury? 'And why Hong Kong, may I ask?'
'They're short of teachers in Hong Kong, so I'm going ... .' Her voice trailed off into silence. The whole situation was becoming ridiculous. Her father obviously thought so too, and decided to take a hand.
'Tessa, girlie,' he said, coming into the room followed by his wife, who just stared uncomprehendingly from one to another. 'Tessa, I went to the hospital to see Paul this morning. I told him everything and he persuaded the doctor not only to remove the bandages but also to let him out for an hour, just so he could get here before you went away.'
'You've been to the hospital!' The exclamation came from Mrs. Blane. 'So that's why you're not at work?'
'I think,' said Mr. Blane, ignoring her remark as he turned to Paul, 'that you can quite capably take over now.'
A smile spread over Paul's face. He said with a quiet hint of gratitude,
'Thanks.' yes, I can take over now.'
'If I could make a suggestion,' said Mr. Blane before he and his wife departed. 'The chests ... you could move them. Perhaps I could give you a little assistance ...'
Some moments later, safe in her husband's arms, yet bewildered, and with a wildly beating heart, Tessa murmured unbelievingly, 'Me. , really me?' She raised her eyes and he saw that they were bright with joy. 'How long have you've known?'
'The first trace of doubt came when you read on of your father's letters to me---'
'Yes, I remember that, I was a little frightened for a day or two.'
'You were? I must somehow have conveyed my doubt, then; I didn't think I had.' His hands caressed her forehead, so tenderly, 'I really knew for sure, though, when you tackled that snake.' Paul held her away and looked into her eyes. 'Obviously you didn't know it, but Lucinda was terrified of snakes, I took her to the zoo once,' he added as Tessa would have interrupted, and we had to come out of the reptile house. She was quite literally frozen with fear. Another time, when we were out in the country, we saw one of those tiny, harmless little grass snakes. Lucinda screamed and ran to the car. I couldn't get her out again and we had to abandon our picnic. So you see, darling, I knew it was not Lucinda who saved me from that snake.'
'But if she loved you,' began Tessa without thinking, 'she would forget her fear. I mean, her fear would only be for you.'
A grim smile then and an even more grim inflection to his voice.
'I think that we won't ever speak again of your sister's so called love.'
'No ... .' She nestled close, and Whispered on a long and trembling sigh, repeating what she had already said, 'Me ... really me?'
'Is it so surprising?' He tilted her face with a firm finger under her chin. 'How little you know yourself.
You're the sweetest, most wonderful wife a man can have and I don't know why you've picked me, making me the luckiest man in the world,' he said with unaccustomed humility and Tessa made a swift gest.
'I'm a very ordinary person; Paul.' Ignoring that he said,
'How could I have been such a fool in the first place? I was even more blind then, for I couldn't distinguish between the gold and the dross.' Tessa said nothing and he went on, 'I was so filled with loathing when you came believing you to be Lucinda, of course and yet I felt triumphant too. You see, I hated her from the moment she threw me over, and when I made the offer to take her back, to forgive her, it was merely in the hope that I'd be given the opportunity for revenge. It was a slender hope, for I knew Lucinda by this time, and so you can imagine my surprise when you arrived, asking my forgiveness.' He paused and frowned. 'How I blame myself! I should have known at once that it wasn't Lucinda who came, but I was so filled with black hatred against her that all I could concentrate on was revenge; I meant to repay her tenfold for what she had done to me---' He broke off abruptly as Tessa shuddered against him. 'My love, don't tremble so. I'll make it up, have no fear of that.'
'There's nothing to make up.' She smiled and touched his face before timidly putting her fingers to the corners of his eyes. 'You can't blame yourself, Paul. Obviously you wanted revenge.' She recalled Lucinda's remarking on Paul's pomposity and self conceit when making his offer or pardon, How little Lucinda had known that his offer was made in the hope that some day he might be able to vent his dark vengeance upon her, After a little while another thought occurred to her. 'Paul. .. .'
'Sweetheart?'
'After the incident of the snake for a little while you were so harsh with me. Was it because you were angry at being duped?'
He nodded.
'At first I hated you even more than Lucinda, I think for by your action you'd emphasized my helplessness, and by heaven, that hurt! That a girl could go as far as to marry me, and live with me, without my knowing I'd been hoodwinked that hurt so much I saw red. And the knowledge that Joe was aware of the deception didn't help, as you can very well imagine. I kept to my own room, hoping I made you suffer, for obviously you loved me. But as I dwelt on your action in coming to me, willing to marry and care for a blind man, as I thought about your love and the tender way you tried to share your eyes with me then I realized how warped my mind had become. I couldn't make you pay for Lucinda's crime and your own as well.' He paused and kissed her tenderly. 'By your love and sweetness you led me back to sanity. Your patience, your hope that we'd some day he happy ... .' He shook his head. 'Dearest, it would have served me right if you'd left me.'
'I'd never have done that, never.' She paused moment and then, 'Joe sensed your coolness, but neither of us could find a reason for it. Now of course I understand.' Another slight hesitation. 'Paul, if you knew I wasn't Lucinda, why didn't you say some thing?'
'As I said, at first I hated you for the deception, and in my twisted mind I desired only to hurt you more hurt Tessa this time, punish her for marrying me. Then, later, when I knew how much I cared and I knew now that I'd been caring for some time and fighting against it I was filled with fear that once I revealed my knowledge, you would feel so guilty and embarrassed that you'd leave me. And as I'd discovered by this time that I couldn't live without you I kept quiet.' He smiled lovingly down at her. 'I rather hoped, my dearest, that you would tell me yourself.'
'I see now that you wanted me to,' she murmured, recalling that strange expectancy she had noticed in his manner on, the occasion of her last visit to the hospital.
'I did and most certainly I would have revealed my knowledge had I had the slightest inkling of what you were up to.' His dark eyes became stern. 'Hong Kong, indeed! It's a good thing your father decided to see me, for if you'd put me to the trouble of following you to Hong Kong I'd have given you something to remember!'
Tessa merely snuggled close and murmured placidly, 'You'd have followed me to Hong Kong?'
'I'd follow you to the ends of the earth! ' His voice was vibrant with emotion and for the third time Tessa saw him as all Greek, strong, passionate, possessive. 'To the ends of the earth and beyond .'
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