
FORGOTTEN EMOTIONSbyMarleena(blacjac@juno.com)PJinNH(kelhapam@lr.net)rated NC-17(P/T, H/f)The 'Emotions Series' is comprised of the following stories in this order:Silent EmotionsBasic EmotionsForgotten EmotionsSUMMARY: Tom is kidnapped and drugged causing him to forget his past, including B'Elanna and his sons.DISCLAIMER: Paramount owns Voyager and its characters. We've only borrowed the characters to satisfy our own creative urges. Alera Lerise and a few assorted other minor characters though are ours and ours alone (that is unless someone else wants to borrow them and give us credit). Archiving is okay, just e-mail us. Please keep disclaimer and our names attached.RECOGNITION OF APPRECIATION: A very special thanks goes out to our beta reader Phyllis J. Sutherland for beta reading our text and to Donna Thelen who had so graciously allowed us to use her chat page while writing this story.Forgotten Emotions10/98Chapter 1Quietly, he picked up the pillow and unfolded the blanket that had been placed on the chair beside the bed. The tall man, as was customary, laid down on the floor to sleep for the night beside the bed--an honored position for he was her favorite and she was much envied by the other ladies of the palace. She was very fond and possessive of him for he was unique amongst the other servants in the kingdom.And the Lady, apparently satisfied from their coupling, slept contentedly in the bed above. Settling down for the night, he winced as his back came in contact with the hard floor. The lacerations he had received from lashes three days ago were still sore.He thought back to that time, through the fog that seemed to always permeate his brain. He had rounded a corner in the palace on an errand for his Lady and had not averted his eyes and dropped to one knee quick enough when he had been unexpectedly confronted with the Lady's sister. The punishment had been swift, he was immediately returned to the Training Area and received the appropriate punishment--15 strokes with the laser whip on his bare back. Next time he would be more careful he vowed, as the once bright eyes closed for the night. Trying to sleep, memories of the previous day invaded his mind.\*Fetch my meal.\*\*\*At once, M'Lady.\*\*\*Draw my bath.\*\*\*Yes, M'Lady.\*\*\*Pleasure me, slave.\*\*\*Of course, M'Lady.\*\*Each command that he had received during the day replayed through his brain again that night, and his day had been full of commands. Each had been promptly obeyed, and the Lady was pleased. And he was pleased. Wasn't he? He couldn't remember. They told him he was.And he slept.In the morning, just before he rose, vague memories would surface until he received the morning injection. The drug that was injected into his system would obliterate the disturbing thoughts leaving behind only the most recent memories.He could recall that they had trained him well those many weeks ago. Of the initial training though he could remember little. He still had the scars on his back from the laser whip to remind himself that he had been trained and apparently had not been a willing student. But the instructors had been persistent and persuasive and had achieved their goal--an obedient servant for their Lady, willing to perform any task without question.The laser whip though hadn't been the only method of persuasion. He could recall, in the wee hours of the morning, that drugs had been painfully and frequently injected into the back of his neck during the training. Daily, he still received those same injections. He was told it was for his own good, but even through the fog he questioned how something could be for his own good if it hurt so much.Occasionally, though just before he was injected with the drug, images of a dark haired, beautiful, exotic looking woman with two small children--boys? For some reason he knew they were boys-- would invade his mind.Those same fleeting images invaded his mind just before he faced the overseer, Krent, the next morning. Krent, as usual, held a large syringe which contained a purple colored fluid. As he was taught, he obediently turned his back to the overseer and Krent grabbed the edge of his tunic at the nape of the neck, pulled it down, and without thought as to the man's comfort, brutally injected the entire contents of the syringe into the tender flesh.Unmoved by the man's screams, he pushed him away and prepared a new dose for the next servant that had just entered through the door.As the burning pain caused by the drug subsided, the world once again changed from a misted veil to a complete opaque fog. A fog that he would live in unemotionally during the day, prepared to serve his Mistress, the Lady.Chapter 2The away mission started out like most away missions. A delegation from Voyager beamed down to the surface of the planet, Drayen, and met it's leaders to discuss trade for food or energy. Today started out that way. Nothing unusual. Talks proceed, agreements were reached. Everything according to plan. Everything but . . .Two very tall aliens with grey-colored skin, not natives to the planet watched the new aliens. They were from a place called 'Voyager,' they had overheard. They observed them very carefully.First there was their leader, they called her a 'captain' she was a woman with medium colored hair, neither light nor dark. She did almost all the talking for the group but when the others spoke she listened patiently, obviously very interested in what was being said. Then there was the man who stood next to her most of the time. He had very dark hair and darker skin than the captain woman and he had some type of writing or marking on his face. Perhaps he had some type of illness the two aliens concluded.Another woman was part of their group, she was shorter than the rest. She had dark hair that fell almost to her shoulders and her face too was unique, with ridges and ripples on the forehead. But the one alien that they were most interested in was her companion. He had hair the color of grain of the fields and blue eyes like a clear sky. How unique. How different. How much could we get for him? they pondered thinking of the ways they could spend their money.\*"Come on, B'Elanna, let's go to the market before we have to beam back. I'm sure that we could find something that Kyle and Lucas would like," Tom pleaded with his wife."But Tom, the meeting . . .""It's almost over. When it breaks up, I'll speak with the Captain and I'm sure she'll say yes. We could be back on Voyager in twenty minutes thirty tops.""You're whining again husband," she warned, her eyes glinting with unrestrained glee."Come on, 'Lanna, it will be fun," he replied with puppy-dog eyes.She rolled her eyes and looked up at the father of her children and her husband. She never could resist that expression and he knew it. "Oh all right, but YOU have to talk to the Captain. Don't you go trying to push this off on me."A short while later, the pair were walking hand-in-hand towards the city's marketplace. Unbeknownst to them, the two aliens followed at a discreet distance."Don't let him out of your sight, Zeten," Enskew warned the taller alien."Don't worry, I'm not going to let an opportunity like this slip through my fingers," Zeten reassured his friend as he removed a small, shiny metallic device from a hidden pocket in his shirt."Tom, look at this," B'Elanna said as she held up a blue shiny orb in his direction.Her husband, who had been partaking of Dravian delicacies at the next counter quickly shoved the rest of the slice of pastry into this mouth, wiped his mouth and went over to join his wife."What is it?" he asked. She wiped the pastry flakes from his lips that he had missed and passed the orb to him."The owner of this kiosk says that it is a special ball. Throw it to me you'll see."Tom raised one eyebrow in disbelief in a very good impression of Tuvok, and tossed the ball to B'Elanna. As the ball soared through the air it changed colors going from blue to green and then to yellow."Wow!! That's neat the boys will love it. Can we get two? One for each of them?"B'Elanna giggled at her husband's expression. "Sure, we'll get it for them, but I have a feeling that you'll be playing with them more then they will. Here, your turn to catch," she said and she lobbed the ball in his direction.Tom backpedaled a bit in order to make the catch and Zeten took advantage of the opportunity to bump up against him and planted a small mechanical device on the back of his uniform.Embarrassed that he had almost knocked over the alien, Tom tucked the ball under his arm and turned to face him. "Sorry about that, but the little woman has a strong arm.""No problem, I'm glad I was there to help break your fall," the alien replied."Thanks.""Tom, you okay?" B'Elanna asked holding a second ball. Tom nodded that he was. "I've paid for two balls. We have to get going."Tom joined B'Elanna in an area several meters away from the marketplace and she tapped her commbadge. "Voyager, two to beam up.Chapter 3"Activate the controls now!" Zeten told his partner who nodded his head in confirmation.Enskew's fingers flew over the portable control pad just as Tom and B'Elanna disappeared from the surface. And shortly thereafter the two aliens disappeared as well.The blue transporter light shimmered over the transporter pad and in an instant B'Elanna materialized and next to her the blue orb that Tom had been carrying fell onto the pad and rolled off the edge of the platform and onto the deck. Tom was not there."Where is he, McNamara!" she yelled at the unfortunate transporter operator."I don't know Lieutenant, I'm recalibrating the buffers now." McNamara tried again but he was a still unsuccessful. "One minute he was there and the next he was gone.""Let me try," she ordered, pushing the young ensign out of the way.Minutes passed but still Tom hadn't appeared. Finally, Joe Carey having been called to the transporter room by Ensign McNamara, stood by B'Elanna's side. He reviewed the procedures and checked the instruments. Sadly, he pushed her hands away from the controls."I'm sorry, B'Elanna. I'm sorry. By the looks of it, there was some kind of transporter malfunction. Tom's couldn't have survived.B'Elanna looked up at her friend with disbelief written all over her face and shook her head. "No. No. It can't be. Everything was working correctly. I myself checked this transporter just two days ago. It was working perfectly. He can't be dead. He can't be. . ."Joe enveloped his arms around his boss and the half-Klingon sobbed in his arms. "Call the Captain," he ordered McNamara.\*Tom Paris dropped to the deck of the alien space ship as soon as the beam released him. Ascertaining his situation, the pilot immediately stood up and faced two aliens, one of them being the one he had met in the marketplace. He tapped his commbadge, but received no response."What going on here?! Why have you transported me to your ship?!""Quiet!!" Enskew roared."I demand to know what is . . . !" Tom bellowed just before Zeten backhanded him across the face and sent him careening back to the deck below."I said quiet!!!"His order didn't stop the pilot who got up once again and faced his kidnappers. "I'm Lieutenant Thomas Paris of the Starship Voyager. I demand that you release me.""Or what?" the shorter alien said as his partner Zeten punched some buttons on a panel and three more of the aliens entered the room."Or Captain Janeway will . . .""She'll do nothing," Enskew interrupted. "As far as she and everyone else on Voyager knows you're dead.""Then why do you want me?" an incredulous Tom Paris asked them."To sell," he replied simply and motioned for his crew to take the prisoner away.Tom tried his best to avoid the three aliens who approached him. He threw a punch at one and while trying to kick the other two. The fight lasted several minutes. Much longer than his captors would have imagined. Finally, one of the larger aliens of the group found his opportunity and clubbed the pilot across the back of his head knocking him unconscious.As one of the three threw Paris over his shoulder and left the room, Zeten turned to his friend. "She'll love him.""He'll fetch a handsome price," Enskew added his eyes glinting with avarice."Of course he may be difficult to train.""Since when has that ever stopped the Lady Daylia. She'll have to have him, I'm sure of it. In fact I think we should offer him to her at three times the usual price," Zeten said."Three times!!!" What if she doesn't accept," Enskew replied incredulously."She will," Zeten replied confidently. "She will."Chapter 4". . . and so we gather here today," the Captain spoke thickly. The words were very hard to say, they caught in her throat. "To say goodbye to a crewmate, a friend, a father, and a husband. We will all miss Thomas Eugene Paris."The memorial service then ended and a tearful B'Elanna clutched her two bewildered boys to her chest.She had told them two days ago that Dada wouldn't be coming back but of course being so young they didn't understand. They still asked for their Dada and each time they did B'Elanna's heart ached. It was almost impossible for her to deal with her husband's loss alone, but she had to take care of the twins as well. Lucas' blue eyes and Kyle's blond hair would always remind her of Tom, and they both were developing that sweet devilish smile that would charm the girls.Tom may be gone, B'Elanna vowed, but he would not be forgotten. She planned on speaking to Harry soon about helping her develop a holodeck program about Tom. One that she could take the boys to see, so they would never forget their father. There were so many things to do and she had to do them by herself. In much the same way her mother had to do, after B'Elannas father left, when she was a little girl.Chakotay accompanied the Captain back to her cabin after the service. He had never seen her so withdrawn, so quiet. It scared him.After they entered her quarters he helped her sit down on the sofa, then went to the replicator to get two cups of coffee. He handed one of the steaming cups to her."Thanks," she replied woodenly."Do you want to talk about it?" Chakotay didn't even wait for a response before he continued. "You miss him?"She nodded her head and being afraid that she would break down took a careful sip of coffee."I do too. More than I'd care to admit." Kathryn's eyes met his dark ones as he sat down beside her. He continued. "You know, as well as anyone, that in the beginning I had no love lost for Paris. I look back know and can't imagine how I could have ever felt that way about him.""You didn't know.""No I just assumed like everyone else did. I never took the time to ask. To find out what Tom Paris was really like.""I had my own misconceptions about him at first.""You know, I don't think I ever told him that my feelings had changed. That I'd come to think of him as a friend. That I respected him."Kathryn reached over and patted Chakotay's knee. "He knew Chakotay. I'll miss him too. Tom was like a younger brother to me. I can't tell you how much I'll miss his 'yes, ma'am.' It will be very different on the bridge. And then there's B'Elanna and the babies. Those boys are going to grow up without a father and B'Elanna will have to go on without a husbands love and support." She put down the coffee cup and let Chakotay hold her as she wept.Later that evening, Harry sat by himself in amongst the holocharacters in a dimly lit Sandrine's nursing his fourth beer. It had been a long time since he had used the program. Actually, Sandrine's hadn't been run since before the twins were born. It seemed fitting somehow to be here in one of Tom's favorite holoprograms. He remembered the good times he had here with his friend. Tom had taught him how to play pool, how to get over Libby, and helped him ease back into to dating again. He was the brother he had never had. Harry missed him. He missed him a lot.Alera found him still drowning his sorrows in his beer and talking with Sandrine when she arrived about a half an hour later. She could sense his despair and sadness."Harry, it's time to go home," Alera said soothingly and she placed her arm around his shoulders and kissed him on the cheek.Harry turned his tear-streaked face towards her. "I miss him so much, Alera.""I know, love.""It's like I lost a member of the family as well as a friend," he said and pulled her to him and hugged her as more sobs wracked his body."It's okay, Harry. Let it out," she said holding him close. She knew that all day he had tried to maintain a brave front for B'Elanna, the boys, and the rest of the crew. "It's time."Alera held him until he was finished and helped him back to their cabin. Tomorrow the future would begin.It was past 2200 when B'Elanna finally settled the boys down for the night and she was finally able to sit down by herself. The young widow clutched a hot cup of herbal tea and curled up on the coach. She knew that life from now on was going to be very difficult. She had come to rely on Tom for so much, he was half to their whole. Her mate for life and a very devoted, loving father. B'Elanna would miss him tremendously, but she vowed to do him proud. She would make sure that their sons grew up to be men he would have been proud of and she was determined that they would never forget their father.Chapter 5"On your feet Voyager!" Zeten roared and pulled hard on the chain that was attached to the neck of the blond man.Tom had no choice but to obey for they had bound his hands behind his back and tethered his legs together so he could barely walk. It been close to two weeks by his judgement. Two weeks of being confined to a cell in the ship's brig along with ten other unfortunate souls. All apparently destined for someone the Gabions referred to as The Lady.This morning began just like all the other mornings over the past two weeks had. Tom rose from the pallet on the floor and waited with the rest of his cell mates for the aliens' version of breakfast while his stomach growled. The menu was very consistent. You had the choice of slop, slop, or if you were really lucky, slop. Either way it was a tasteless mass of grey glop whose consistency resembled watered down mashed potatoes.As every morning had started, shortly after he awoke the guards came to the cell and deposited large spoonfuls of the slop into each of the cups that had been given to all of the prisoners.But unlike other days, after they had all eaten, several guards came back. At first, they talked amongst themselves pointing from one prisoner to the next until finally they opened the cell door. With three of the guards armed to prevent escape, they selected two of the prisoners, attached a chain to the metal collar they all wore and dragged them away. This pattern kept up until finally only Tom remained."Where are you taking me!!!" he yelled at the guards. But the guards remained silent. They dragged him down the hall, up a turbolift and down another hall before finally stopping at a door. They pushed it open and dragged the pilot in with them.There before him stood four more aliens, two of whom came forward. They placed manacles on each of Tom's wrists and helped the guards that brought him down to immobilize him by using the chains attached to the manacles, they pulled both arms out in a spread eagle fashion.Behind him a door slid open and Zeten and Enskew entered the room."Hold him fast," Zeten ordered the others. The four took a firm hold on the chains and the other two tightened the tether around the pilot's ankles. He was going nowhere. He was at their mercy."Prepare him," Enskew said.One of the two that had tightened the tether around his ankles reached into an inside pocket and withdrew an ugly, large knife.There was nothing he could do. There was no where to run, he closed his eyes. Please let it be swift, he prayed. God, please protect B'Elanna and the boys. Keep them safe. He felt one the aliens clutch the front of his grey tunic top. This is it,\* he thought. I'll be waiting for you in Sto-Vo-Kor, my loveWith a swift movement the tunic was sliced from the neckline to the bottom edge. Tom's eyes flew open in surprise. What are they doing? Next the blade came up to his shoulder the again the material was severed, and again on the other shoulder. The tunic fell to the deck leaving the pilot bare from the waist up. Next the waist band of Tom's shorts were pulled away from his body and they too soon joined the tunic on the deck and Tom was left standing naked among the aliens.Looking at Tom's assets Enskew eyes widened and he whispered to Zeten.Zeten nodded. "Yes, I think you're right. The price has risen."As the greedy two talked, the alien that had used the knife returned it to its hiding place and grabbed a pair of what looked to Tom like large brooms that had been resting against the wall."Stop!!!" yelled Enskew. "Not those. Use the soft ones over there. We can't afford to damage this one." He pointed toward the other end of the room at a similar pair of 'brooms' but these had a soft foam-like material attached to the ends.The alien did as they were told and brought both of them back along with a bucket. Handing one of the 'brooms' to his partner both dipped the foam ends into the bucket of foamy water and proceeded to swap Tom, making sure to get every inch of the man."Hey you know," Tom quipped. "If I smelled that bad all you had to do was tell me, I would have been glad to take a bath.""Quiet!!!" Zeten roared and the four holding the manacles jerked on the chains causing pain to jolt up his arms and down his back.When the washing was finished the two guards pressed a button on the wall and from above Tom a large quantity of ice cold water was released rinsing the soapy foam off his skin.Tom shook his head to try to try and get rid of as much water from his hair as possible. "What's the matter can't afford to heat the water?" he asked."Take him to the holding cell and dress him," Enskew ordered and the two friends left the room.Tom was pulled out of the room and placed in another cell much like the one he and his fellow prisoners had occupied for the past two weeks. A white shirt and shorts where thrown in after him.Shortly after they were beamed to the planet, Tom along with most of his fellow prisoners stood in a courtyard just outside the gate of a beautiful palace. The walls of the mauve colored building glimmered in the sunlight. Finally the gate opened and two of his fellow prisoners were herded through. This continued with only a few returning until he again was the last one remaining. The Gabions forcefully pulled him out of the cell holding the chain attached to his collar.They walked a little ways into the palace grounds. Along the way Tom noticed that he saw mostly women. Any men that he saw were all dressed in dark green tops with short sleeves and very small shorts and they were all carrying things or pushing things.Finally they reached the another door and Tom was led into an opulent room. It was decorated in purple and silver. Soft lounges edged the room and potted plants where interspersed in between. Music emanated from the back of the room where several young men played strange looking instruments. Zete and Enskew were already there waiting for them with smiles on their faces.They brought the pilot out into the middle of the room and a tall man dress in the same dark green clapped his hands. Before long a tall elegantly dressed woman entered the room."This is our best Lady Daylia," Zeten said and motioned for his guard to pull Tom forward toward the Lady."What's going on here!!" Tom demanded.The Lady glared at him. How dare he speak in a raised voice to her? But despite his insolence he intrigued her. She looked him over and what she saw she liked very much. His eyes were the color of a clear sky, \*how unusual,\* she thought. And his hair was the color of the sunshine. She reached up and tried to touch the top of his head but he jerked away. "Show me more," she demanded.Zeten nodded his head and two of the guards and swiftly moved toward Tom. Tom struggled but the guards quickly subdued him."Hey what are you do . . ." Tom started to say before a large hand clamped down over his mouth.The guards then removed his top for the Lady's inspection."Hmmmm," she murmured. He's golden all over, she thought and extended one long graceful hand up to run her slender fingers through his chest hair. I have to have him, he's a magnificent specimen, so unique, even though he is undisciplined, but I can take care of that easy enough.She removed her hand from the man's chest and spun on her heal trying to retain her aloof appearance."Price?" she asked simply. It bothered her to do business with males.Zeten without hesitation quoted a price of 500 quens, a price five times his usual. Enskew had to fight not to be surprised at what his friend said."500 quens?" the Lady asked. "That seems very steep.""If I may your Lady," Zeten said as he approached her. She nodded and he bent his head down to her level and whispered in her ear.The Lady's eyes grew wide in disbelief. Zeten bent down once more and whispered again."Show me," she ordered.The two approached Tom who was still being restrained. Zeten reached down and grabbed the waistband of the pilot's shorts and pulled it out away from his body. The Lady peered down inside and she licked her lips. She liked what she saw."Sold." she said. She motioned to the overseers of her slaves who was standing against the wall. "Take him to be trained and be sure prepare him well."Chapter 6Three months later, the senior officers were sitting around the large table in the Conference Room. It had been a very long three months. Shortly after Tom's death Voyager had been attacked by a warrior race. It was only recently that Voyager had been completely repaired. They had only traversed about fifty light-years during that time. The assembled officers were extremely solemn, but B'Elanna was most of all. Even after three busy months, she still couldn't get over the fact that her husband was gone. Her eyes always wandered to the empty chair across from her. For the first few weeks, she would stare at it. After a month, her eyes would water and she turned away. Now, she could barely look at it.Captain Janeway had to force herself not to look at the empty chair at every meeting. She would have gladly conducted the meetings somewhere else, but she believed the senior officers needed closure. Even after three months, to the officers it still seemed as if something was missing.\*And something is missing,\* Janeway thought as she opened the meeting, Tom is what's missing.The officers looked at her, and Janeway took a deep breath and began, "Neelix just informed me that we are low on food and Engineering needs dilithium. Mr. Kim has told me that we are nearing a system with an M-Class planet. Ensign, I want you to scan for dilithium."Harry just nodded his head. He had been staring at the empty chair as if his own will could bring Tom back. He knew nothing would ever be the same."All right. Dismissed," Janeway said. It's best to keep these meetings short, until they have adjusted.The staff left as quietly as they entered. Not one of them said a word. Janeway was not surprised. They hadn't said a word in the meetings since Tom was killed, even the Bridge was unnaturally quiet. She understood her crew's slip into depression, she was depressed as well. The Captain also knew, though that if they didn't come out of it, soon, she would have to send them all to Sickbay.Janeway sighed and made her way to the Bridge. She truly wished that Tom was still alive. Things would be much better on this ship.\*I wonder if he ever knew how much he meant to the people on this ship?\* Janeway thought as she strode across the Bridge to her chair, I wonder what he would have said if he knew?Janeway stared ahead at the view screen. After three months, she still couldn't look at the conn station. She just couldn't bring herself to do so. Shortly after Tom's death, she had been on the bridge and not thinking she had called on him to report to the Bridge. Of course she received no answer and she then realized why. She could barely stop the tears from flowing. Unfortunately, B'Elanna was on the Bridge at the time, and she knew the half-Klingon didn't need to be reminded that her husband was no longer with them. Ever since then, Janeway had ceased looking at the conn station. She didn't need any reminders either.Janeway took a deep breath and said, "Mr. Kim. Report.""There is an abundance of dilithium on the third continent of the planet. There is a village nearby."Janeway looked at Chakotay. His expression mirrored her own. They needed the dilithium. But could they risk contact with the village to get it?Their questions were answered by the ensign's next statement, "Captain, we are being hailed.""On screen." Janeway barely held back her surprise.The starfield was replaced by a woman in her thirties. Her hair was wild and she had feathers and beads decorating it. Her eyes held a dominating fire in them. Her voice commanded respect as she spoke."Who are you and why are you here?" the woman demanded, staring at each of them in turn. Her eyes fell lastly on Janeway.Janeway stood up and went to stand behind the conn, "I am Captain Kathryn Janeway, of the Federation starship Voyager. We are here, because our sensors picked up a supply of dilithium near your village.""Dilithium? Ah. We mine that metal as well, it is very useful and powerful." The woman raised her hand and pointed her finger at Janeway. "You are their leader?"Janeway nodded, "Yes. I am. May we come down and mine some dilithium?"The woman smiled, "My name is Daylia. Yes, you may come down. If you bring another with you, but make sure it is a woman. We don't allow men."Janeway nodded, "We will be there in twenty minutes."Daylia agreed and the screen returned to the planet."Amazons," Chakotay said, "Wonderful. A race of Amazons."Janeway smiled. She then saw B'Elanna eyeing her. She knew that the engineer wanted to be the one to mine for the mineral. Janeway agreed completely. B'Elanna would know how much was needed and the time away from the ship would be good for her."B'Elanna, you are with me. Chakotay, you have the Bridge."The two women then left the Bridge for the planet below.\*\*\*\*\*Janeway and B'Elanna materialized a few minutes' walk from the village. They checked their tricorders and looked at each other. The dilithium was closer to the village than they first thought. They closed their tricorders and walked toward the village.When they arrived in the village, they saw that the villagers were dressed very scantily. The village was inhabited by mostly women. Chakotay's words about Amazons came back to them. Indeed, these women were like the Amazons from Earth's history. They cared spears or large daggers with them as they walked. Their hair was loose and wild. They wore dark clothes that barely hid anything, and some had painted faces.The two were shocked by the men. The few that they saw were dressed in blue tunics and skimpy dark shorts. They were also bare footed. They walked around like zombies and seemed to be following certain women. Some of the men were attached to the women by ropes. And some were washing the women while others were massaging their bodies.Janeway and B'Elanna stared at each other, each coming to the same conclusion. The men were slaves to these Amazons. They had heard of older cultures on Earth and a few other planets doing this to women and other minorities, but they had never seen it done to men who appeared to be healthy and strong. They didn't like the idea of slavery at all, but they had to remind themselves that they were here for dilithium. These people's culture was none of their business.The two walked into the village and were greeted almost at once by Daylia. She also had two male servants behind her. She smiled at them and dipped her head in greeting."Hello, Kathryn Janeway," she said. She then turned to B'Elanna, "And who is this?""This is B'Elanna Torres. She is Chief Engineer on Voyager."Daylia eyed the half-Klingon approvingly. She smiled and nodded, "Good. Captain, I would enjoy it if you would stay for a bit. You see, we hardly get any outsiders. Those that do come, are male," she spat.B'Elanna had to fight down her retort. She knew that men could be pigs. Hell, her husband used to be one, but she didn't think that was a very good reason to despise them and not have anything to do with them.Daylia noticed the half-Klingon's reaction to her statement. She ignored it though. She knew not to believe that all women were like her people. She knew that there were females out there that simply adored the male gender. Even staying with them after mating. She found it a waste of time and energy. She knew men were good for only one thing, and she made sure her men knew that."That would be fine, Daylia," Janeway said, "I'm sure we could spend the night here. It is a lovely village you have."Daylia smiled, "Thank you, Captain. We take pride in our village. Let me show you around. J'neck, Quelin, go get Teryek ready. I would like to show these two my prize."Janeway and B'Elanna stared at each other then at Daylia."Who is Teryek?" B'Elanna asked.Daylia smiled with an arrogant pride, "He is only my most prized male. He looks like he came from the gods themselves. Just wait until you see him."The two women from Voyager stared at each other again. Their curiosity was piqued. They would stay a while longer just to see this "god" themselves.Chapter 7Daylia led them into her formal garden area. It was in full bloom with many different colored flowers and the smell of the flowers permeated the air. The Lady took her place on the throne that had been placed just for the meeting on a raised dais in the middle of the garden.Two of the male slaves were wearing the typical green outfits but third wore a dark red outfit. The one wearing the red walked with his blond head lowered, eyes carefully focused on the ground, to take a position to Daylia's right. He then slightly raised his head so his blue eyes focused on an area of ground just in front of the Voyager visitors.B'Elanna's breath caught in her throat. She had to fight the urge to launch herself at the slave for there beside the leader of the Amazons stood her husband. But something was wrong, he didn't seem to recognize either her or the Captain. Looking at him again, carefully studying his appearance, she noted that Tom looked like hell, as if he hadn't slept in days. She wanted to go to him, to hold him, but something about him caused her to hesitate."Tom's alive," she whispered to the Captain. She was stunned.Janeway nodded, knowing that the half-Klingon wanted to run to her husband.The Captain stared at Tom, concerned.\*Something's wrong with him,\* Janeway thought noticing his almost catatonic state, He's emotionless. I've seen Vulcans show more emotion than he is right now."Teryek, come here!" Daylia demanded.B'Elanna and Janeway watched as Tom moved to stand in front of the Lady. Janeway heard B'Elanna gasp when Daylia kissed Tom, passionately."That p'taQ!" B'Elanna shouted. She made a move to charge, but Janeway held her back. "Let me go!""B'Elanna, look. There's something wrong. Tom doesn't know what he's doing. He's kissing her without emotion -- like a zombie. He's expressionless."B'Elanna ceased to struggle as she saw Tom turn around. She tried to catch his attention, but he only stared at the ground. She was confused. He never was so quiet, so meek. Something is definitely wrong here. Daylia looked back at the two before her and noticed the interest they showed in her prize possession, "This here is Teryek, he is my favorite slave," she explained as she ran her fingers through his golden hair. With her other hand she stroked down his back until her fingers encountered his butt which she squeezed as if she were inspecting fruit in the marketplace. "He pleasures me beyond belief."B'Elanna tried not to growl, but a grumble did escape."What does his name mean?" Janeway asked, trying to keep the conversation light for the moment.The Lady smiled, "Do you like it? I named him myself. It means, Sun that Shines on Water. He is such a magnificent sight to behold, isn't he? No one else looks like him. He is unique and therefor mine."B'Elanna growled low. Her husband was alive and right there before her. She wanted him back, and she was not going to let this p'taQ stand in her way. When she saw Daylia run her hands through Tom's hair, and kiss him again, she launched herself at them."NO!"B'Elanna shoved a surprised Daylia away and cupped Tom's face in her hands. She stared into his eyes and froze. There was no light shining in those blue orbs. There were dull and lifeless. A chill went up her spine."Tom?" Was all she got out before she felt herself shoved to one side."Keep your hands off of Teryek! No one is allowed to touch him. He's mine!"B'Elanna's growl was that of a tiger being challenged. She stood up, scowling."He is my husband! My mate! I marked him! He's mine!!"Daylia laughed. Tom only stood there mute, his eyes lowered, his dull blue gaze fixed on his feet. Something about the angry woman seemed familiar, but he couldn't place it. He wanted to look at her; to see what she looked like, but the memory of the laser whips, prevented him."How can he be your mate?" the Lady asked laughing. She then narrowed her eyes at B'Elanna. "Let me see you prove it," she challenged.B'Elanna snarled and abruptly turned away from the Lady what can I say to her to prove that he's my Tom? she thought. Immediately though she knew. Pivoting back around, she raised her hand pointing her finger at Daylia, "He has a diamond-shaped mole on his back, near his spine. If it's there, he is my mate."Daylia glared at her, she couldn't remember any such marking so she nodded. Then in a cold voice she asked, "If he doesn't, will you take your precious dilithium and leave?"B'Elanna and Janeway nodded. The half-Klingon then added, "If there is a mole, he will come with us.""Agreed," Daylia said. She then turned to the young blond man, and ordered him to remove his tunic.B'Elanna could barely contain herself as Tom, his back to Daylia, without any hesitation removed his dark red tunic. She remembered every inch of his body. She wanted so much to touch him after so long apart.Daylia gasped as she stared at Tom's back for there before her was the mole just as the Voyager woman had described. She glared at B'Elanna, there was no way she would give up Teryek no matter what she had said before. She went to the Captain and B'Elanna, scowling."He stays. Take your dilithium and go!"B'Elanna snarled, her eyes flashing, "Tom does have a mole! I have had enough of this. He is mine! I challenge you for him! If I win, he comes back with me!"The Lady laughed inwardly. She knew she could take this small woman easily. She accepted and readied herself.B'Elanna ignored everything around her as she prepared to fight the Lady. She was going to win this fight. For Tom. For their children. For herself.The Lady acted first, kicking B'Elanna, but the engineer blocked it easily. Dancing around Daylia, trying to think of the best offense, B'Elanna blocked a blow aimed at her head. Then she delivered a sharp blow to the Lady's face. Daylia went down, stunned.B'Elanna lifed her right foot to smash Daylia's pretty face, but the Lady caught her foot. She yanked on B'Elann's foot, causing her to lose her balance. The half-Klingon landed on the ground beside then woman.Daylia jumped to her feet and attempted to try to stomp B'Elanna. The engineer rolled out of the way then leg sweeped the Amazon leader sending her face first into the dirt.B'Elanna then got to her feet, walked over to Daylia, grabbed her long hair, and yanked her head back. Snarling into the woman's ear she roared. "I TOLD you he is MINE!," B'Elanna then slammed Daylia's face into the ground hard. She did this twice, before Daylia elbowed her in the ribs. When B'Elanna didn't budge, Daylia elbowed her again. B'Elanna let go of the Lady's head. Daylia tried to get back up, but the half-Klingon kicked her in the stomach, flipping her over. Now, on her back, she stared into the angry dark eyes of B'Elanna Torres.B'Elanna lifted her left foot to stomp Daylia in the stomach, but the Lady quickly rolled out of the way. She then jumped to her feet, and kicked B'Elanna in the stomach. The engineer doubled over in pain, but she still blocked the next attack from Daylia. She glared at the other woman, her dark eyes on fire. Hard and mercilous. black as obsidian they terrified Daylia. She tried to wrench her hand free from the half-Klingon's grip, but it was tight. Painfully tight.B'Elanna saw the fear building in the Lady's eyes. She knew this woman was a coward from the first time she laid eyes on her -- she could smell it. B'Elanna smiled wickedly as she twisted Daylia's wrist. She delighted in hearing the Lady cry out in pain. Twisting the woman's arm, she smiled in delight at another cry.Daylia tried to trip B'Elanna, but the pain in her arm was too much. She barely nudged the engineer's left leg, and felt her arm almost break as B'Elanna kept twisting it. The Lady realized that she had underestimated this alien woman."Enough, please!" Daylia begged."Tom is mine! He will come with me!" B'Elanna shouted for all to hear."Yes! Take him! Just stop, please!"B'Elanna smiled in victory. She gave the Lady's arm one last twist, then released her. Smiling like a Klingon warrior, she watched her foe cower in fear. She then looked to see as the entire village bowed before her. All her Klingon power vanished as she realized what she had just done. In defeating Daylia, she became the new leader. She looked at Janeway, confused and afraid."All I wanted was Tom," B'Elanna said to her captain, "I didn't want to become these people's new leader."Janeway smiled. She knew what the engineer was thinking and decided to ease the young woman's fears."I've heard of people doing this in old Earth myths. People defeating a leader of a tribe only to become their new leader. What they sometimes did was choose someone from the village to be the new ruler. Why don't you try that?" B'Elanna could see the sense in those words. She nodded to her captain, then looked around the village. Most of the people cowered before her, others stared around them confused by what had happened. Others still stood starring in defiance. Approaching these people first. B'Elanna stopped before a woman whose hair shone like fire. Staring into the female's eyes she saw courage and wisdom. Behind that she also saw tenderness and compassion.\*Just like Janeway,\* B'Elanna thought. She then spoke out loud, "What is you name?"The woman barely moved as she answered, "My name is Kristra."B'Elanna nodded, "I cannot stay here. I am needed among my people. You will be this village's new ruler."Kristra smiled and nodded. She raised her spear and shouted that she was the new ruler. Cheers went up all around the village. She then turned back to B'Elanna."I will do you honor by giving your husband back to you. I will also give you the dilithium that you so greatly need.""Thank you, Kristra," B'Elanna said, beaming inside.Kristra then went to Daylia, who was glaring at B'Elanna. She was now standing on her feet, watching what was happening. When she saw Kristra coming toward her, she tried to glare back. She felt the burning hatred from Kristra's eyes flow to her. She backed down, trying to avoid Kristra's stare."You," the word was a growl, "You have shamed us by making us take slaves instead of mates. Very few of us dared to free our slaves, for fear that you would banish us. I want a man to be with me because he wants to, not because I own him. From now on all slaves in the kingdom will be free. They will be welcome to stay here and help the changes become a reality if they so wish, they will be most welcome. Or they can leave. They are free to chose where they go and what they do."Cheers from the women could be heard all around. A few of the males cheered along with them. Everything quieted again when Kristra spoke again."As for you, Daylia," Kristra spat out the name, "You are banished from this village. If you so much as show your face here again, you will die!" Daylia tried to plead to stay. The village was all that she knew. She rarely ventured outside the village. Kristra stopped her pleading by pointing her spear into the forest."Go, Daylia, and never return!"To move Daylia along, Kristra whacked the former leader across her butt. Daylia, yelped, and quickly ran into the forest. She could hear laughter from the village flood her ears as she disappeared into the forest. Kristra returned to B'Elanna. She motioned for Tom, but he didn't move. He was looking around, then quickly stared at the ground. He only moved when another male former slave pushed him toward his wife. He tensed when he felt arms move around him. He relaxed though as he somehow remembered. A feeling of security came over him. He knew these arms, but he wasn't sure how.Kristra felt her heart ache. She knew what Daylia did to the young man, how he had suffered, and it angered her even more. She hated knowing that such a powerful woman, who could have any man she wanted only got them through the use of drugs. She shook her head, and spat again."Thank you, Kristra," B'Elanna said, thankful to have her husband back even though he acted like a stranger."You're welcome. Now, for the dilithium."The two nodded as they followed the new leader to the storage.Chapter 8The ride back to the ship was accomplished in silence. Tom sat in the back of the shuttle his eyes focused on the floor. Once or twice when B'Elanna tried to talk to him and called him by his name, he hadn't even responded. She had to tell him that his real name was Tom Paris not Teryek. But he hadn't responded to that or to her, he just continued to stare at the floor. Finally the Captain motioned to B'Elanna to join her at the helm. She told her it would be best not to talk to Tom too much before the Doctor had examined him. She feared that talking to him too much might confuse him.As soon as the Captain, B'Elanna and Tom returned to the ship, they were all beamed directly to Sickbay. The Doctor upon seeing Mr. Paris immediately placed him on a biobed and performed a complete diagnostic. B'Elanna desperately wanted to stay with her husband but the Doctor insisted that she and the Captain wait in his office until he was finished.After what seemed like an eternity to the women, the Doctor bade them to join him by Tom's bedside.Tom, dressed in the typical Sickbay blue outfit, lay on his side. The EMH informed B'Elanna and the Captain that Tom had been very agitated and confused even after he had fallen asleep so he had given Tom a hypospray to help him sleep more calmly."Doctor, what is wrong with him?" B'Elanna asked. She reached over and clutched Tom's right hand in her own."Well, as you probably saw on the planet, he has severe scarring on his back mostly from older injuries but some are much more recent. And there is this." The Doctor pulled the back of Paris uniform down and brushed back the now longer hair to reveal bruising and puncture holes. "It appears that they have been injecting Mr. Paris with a drug that attacks the memory storage areas of the brain. It probably also facilitated his obedience.""My God," the Captain breathed. B'Elanna swallowed hard."The newer scarring I was able to repair with the dermal regenerator, but I wasn't as successful with the older scarring. Some of those wounds were very deep. It will take many months of generative therapy for those to heal, and some unfortunately may never.""Those dishonorable p'taq," B'Elanna spat when she finally regained her voice.The Captain agreed with her engineer's assessment of the aliens albite silently. "Regarding his amnesia, Doctor. You can correct that can't you?" the Captain questioned. B'Elanna turned from focusing on her husband to look at the Doctor anxious for the answer.The EMH sadly shook his balding head. "I don't know. The drug they used on him and the amount that was injected into his system during that time make it very difficult to judge when, or if, he will ever recover his memories.""If?" both B'Elanna and Janeway chorused."Let me explain." The EMH turned on a computer monitor beside the biobed. "Look at this visual display of the blood sample I took from the Lieutenant."The Captain and the half-Klingon looked at the monitor that the Doctor referred to. "These molecules," the EMH said pointing to blue orbs that were extremely tiny comparted to the blood cells that were on the screen, "are the drug that he was given. They act like nothing I have ever seen before. Not only do they attach themselves to the blood cells but when I examined their activity within the body they seemed to cling to the brain's cellular walls, particularly in the area of the brain that stores memories. It is that occurrence that I believe accounts for the amnesia.""So what is the treatment?" B'Elanna asked."I just don't know. Right now I know of no medicine or treatment that will eliminate the drug in his system. I can only hope that through time they will diminish and ultimately disappear. Of course, I will continue to monitor him. I'm hopeful that in a week or two we will see some progress."The Captain fought hard not to let her emotions show. But it was difficult, she had come to think of Tom as not only part of her Voyager family but kind of a younger brother as well. "Is there anything else we need to know?""Just that as is typical for many types of drug withdrawal, we can expect nausea, shaking, headaches, and of course with this type of drug they gave him nightmares might also occur. I'm going to keep him sedated for a couple of days. Hopefully, the most serious effects of the withdrawal will be past before he leaves Sickbay."Two days later, Tom wakened alone in Sickbay. B'Elanna, who had stayed by his bedside for most of the two days, had received an emergency call from engineering and had left just moments before Tom awoke.Tom opened his blue eyes squinting at the harsh light that lit Sickbay. Finally his eyes adjusted to the brightness and could see a man standing at a table not too far away. He resembled the man who he met before he had gone to sleep.The Doctor's program informed him that his patient had awoke and he quickly went over to the biobed to check up on the Lieutenant."Good morning, Mr. Paris!" the EMH chirped.Tom stared at him his eyes still slightly unfocused with the effects of the drug, though his mind was clearer than it had been in a long time."I said good morning!""Morning," the pilot replied very softly.\*Well\* the EMH mused I guess I have to remember that while he looks like Tom Paris that drug has affected his system to such an extent that the real Tom Paris is lost, but hopefully not forever.The Doctor cleared his throat and visually scanned him before he reached for his medical tricorder and examined him thoroughly. After several minutes he replaced the tricorder. "Mr. Paris, ah ...Tom?" He waited for a response but Tom only stared at him waiting for him to continue. "I am happy to report that you're almost as good as new. I've called B'Elanna to come down to Sickbay and take you home." The Sickbay door slid open. "Ah, there she is now." A smiling B'Elanna came breezing through the doors of the Sickbay and headed over to her husband's side."Home?" Tom questioned, his eyes never focusing on his wife, never looking at the doctor. His breathing became rapid and he began to sweat. Home to him meant back to Daylia, back to the injections and the pain. "Home? I-I-I don't want to go home. I don't wa-want to go back to the planet. Please don't make me." Tom pulled himself out of bed, stood up and clutched the Doctor's sleeve. "Please don't send me back," he pleaded."What is he talking about?" B'Elanna asked the Doctor. Hearing her speak, Tom turned his attention to her. He immediately averted his eyes to the floor, hoping that he did so quick enough, he didn't want to be punished. "I repeat Doctor what is he talking about?"The EMH looked puzzedly at the pilot. "I told him that he could go home with you, but he thought that I meant that we were sending him back to the planet."B'Elanna understood and reached out to grasp Tom's arms in her hands, she bent down a bit and peered up into his eyes. She almost released her hold when he tried desperately not to look at her. "Tom, look at me. Please look at me?"Instinctively, he felt somehow that he could trust her. Besides he was hers now and she had given him an order, so he looked into the chocolate depths of the eyes of lady before him."Listen to me Tom. You are back home on Voyager. You do remember me telling you about Voyager before we landed the shuttle yesterday don't you?"Tom nodded."And you remember me telling Daylia that you were my husband and how I fought for you?"He nodded again."Well it is all true Tom. You are my husband and you have come home and now it is time for you to come back our cabin. In fact I have a surprise for you. You will come with me won't you.""Of course. I obey."B'Elanna clutched his face between her hands. "Listen Tom, you are not my slave or anyone else's. You are my husband and I love you. Do you understand that? I'm asking you to come with me. But I only want you to come if YOU want to, not because you feel that you have to obey some order. Okay?"Tom thought this over. There was so much she said, so much to absorb. But he knew one thing he did want to go with this woman. "I'll come.""Great!" B'Elanna beamed with joy."Before you leave," the EMH piped up. "I just want to give Mr. Paris a little shot of a nutritional supplement."Tom seeing the hypospray in the Doctor's hand did has he had been trained. Without question he walked over the to Doctor and turned his back to him. With one hand he reached up behind his back and pulled down his shirt to reveal the back of his neck. His eyes closed and his teeth clenched in anticipation of the excruciating pain that always followed the injections.B'Elanna's heart broke. The EMH gently removed Tom's hand from his shirt and with the other hand turned him around to face him and showed him the hypospray. "This is what we call a hypospray and it is painless, I assure you." The EMH moved the hypospray to the side of the pilot's neck and painlessly injected the nutritional supplement into his blood stream. All the while, Tom looked at the Doctor nervously. "You don't have to get those injections in the back of your neck any more.""No more?""No more, I promise."Tom looked over at B'Elanna as if for confirmation."He's telling you the truth, Tom. He's a very good Doctor and wouldn't hurt you.""Promise?" he asked sounding all of eight years old.B'Elanna smiled at her husband, walked up to him and lovingly slipped her arm around his waist. "I promise. Now let's go home. Okay?""Okay."B'Elanna and Tom walked down the hall en route to the cabin. The corridors were deserted upon orders from the Captain. The EMH didn't want Tom to be too overwhelmed by too many people too soon.They finally reached the outer door to their quarters. "Here we are Tom--home sweet home." B'Elanna opened the door and they walked in.Tom looked around. So this is my 'home', he thought. I don't remember it. This all seems so strange."Hello, B'Elanna, is that you?!"B'Elanna laughed at the voice that emanated from the boys' bedroom. "Yes, it's me and I brought home a surprise!"Alera came out of the bedroom holding Kyle by one hand and Lucas by the other, each trying their best to keep up with the half-Betazoid."Tom!" Alera said and then stopped dead in her tracks.Tom upon seeing the woman, as he had been trained, immediately averted his eyes to the floor.Alera starred at him, not just surprised by his actions but startled by the flood of feelings that coursed through her. Feelings that she could sense from Tom Paris.B'Elanna could see that the half-Betazoid was sensing emotions from him but determined that now, in front of Tom, was not the best time to ask her about them. Later when he wasn't around or in bed, would be a better time."Alera, thanks for staying with the boys," she went over to her friend and picked them both up, one in each arm. "We'll talk later.""Any time. And if you need anything, let me know?""Of course."Alera quietly left and B'Elanna sat down on the sofa with her twins still in each arm. The boys normally so talkative were puzzled by the man that stood before him. Because she didn't want to confuse them, B'Elanna had yet to show them the holoprogram that she had lovingly created of their father, they had only seen pictures of him."Tom, she's gone. You can look up now," B'Elanna suggested gently.Tom raised his eyes to focus on the woman on the sofa with the two boys on her lap."Tom, please come over here and sit down beside me.""Yes m'lady," he said softly and obeyed.B'Elanna's breath caught in her throat. "Tom?"He looked at her."Don't ever call me 'm'lady' ever again. I'm your wife, not your mistress. Do you understand?"He nodded. It seemed the correct response."It's okay Tom. You have a lot to get used to," she said and she smiled at him. He blessed her with a slight turn up of the lips. The first trace of a smile since they had seen him on the planet.The blue and brown eyes from the boys focused on the man. Each silently questioned who he was. Tom too looked at the pair wondering who they were as well.B'Elanna could see her three men all in equal states of confusion.Kyle removed his fist from his mouth and extended his wet chubby left hand towards the man on the sofa. He turned his head to look at his mother. "Dada?" he questioned.Lucas turned his blue eyes toward and brother and grinned.Tom looked at the two boys intently."Tom, this one is Lucas," said placing a kiss on the dark hair boy's forehead, "and this little trouble maker is Kyle," she explained bestowing a similar kiss on the blonde boy's right ear.Kyle squealed with delight. Her kiss had tickled his ear."Tom do you know who these boys are?"Tom looked blankly at the beautiful woman who sat beside him. "No." He looked at the boys that sat on her lap. "Should I?"B'Elanna's heart sank a bit. She had hoped that she might be able to perform a little miracle. That as soon as Tom saw his sons his memory might come back, but obviously that was not to be."These are your sons, Tom. Our sons."He had sons? He didn't know what to say, so he said nothing."I've showed them your picture every day. I never wanted them to forget you."I not only have a wife, but I have sons? Tom tentatively raised his hand to touch the blonde haired child but just before his fingertips would have touched the boy's hand he stopped and brought it back. This is too much. How can I be a husband and a father? I hated being with the Lady but at least it was simpler, easier. Gods what do I do.B'Elanna noticed his puzzled expression and cursed herself for introducing him to the boys this soon. She had hoped for a miracle, but instead only succeeded in confusing Tom. The last thing she wanted was to cause him any more pain--he had suffered enough during the last three months without her being the one to hurt him."I'm s-s-sorry," he stammered and buried his head in his hands. "I don't know what to do, what to say.""No, I'm the one who should be sorry, Tom. This was much too soon for you.""Dada--sad." Lucas said his eyes bright with tears and his lower lip stuck out in a pout reflecting his father's sadness. For comfort, he buried his face in his mother's neck though his eyes never left his father."Yes, Lucas, your Daddy is sad and part of it is my fault," she told her son. B'Elanna thought. It was still too early for the boys to go to bed, maybe Alera would come back and take them for a few hours. "Tom?"Tom brought his hands down away from his face."Tom, I've laid out some of your clothes on the bed," the motioned with her head to the right. "Why don't you go change? I'm going to see if Alera will come get the boys and keep them for a little while."Following the direction of the nod, Tom arose from the sofa and entered the bedroom to change. B'Elanna called Alera and shortly Alera showed up to take the boys on a holodeck walk. Tom was still in the bedroom while the women settled the boys in their stroller."I'm so worried about him," B'Elanna whispered to her friend."I am too," Alera admitted softly. "I could sense it earlier, B'Elanna, his emotions are very strong and disturbing. He's terribly confused. It's like he's lost.""I know," B'Elanna admitted tucking a blanket over the boys' legs. "But what can I do to help him?""Just love him, but don't push him," the half-Betazoid recommended."The first part is easy, but I hope I have the patience for the second."After Alera left with the boys, B'Elanna went back to the bedroom to see what was keeping her husband. She found him dressed in the clothes she had laid out for him but standing in the middle of the room holding his dirty clothes."What's the matter, Tom?" B'Elanna asked. She reached to take the clothes that he had worn from him. "Are you hungry? Do you want to eat?"He nodded his head. He was hungry."Come on then you can help me." B'Elanna led and Tom followed her back out in to the main room and over to where the kitchen area was. "What would you like? You can have anything you want."He looked at her puzzled. He couldn't remember anyone asking him what he wanted."How about some pizza with caterian olives? You always used to like that." He nodded and she placed an order large enough for the two of them.As soon as the meal materialized she picked up the steaming pizza from the replicator and brought it to the table."Smells good doesn't it?" B'Elanna asked her husband.Actually it did smell pretty good, a lot better than the food he had eaten on the planet. He nodded his head and waited for B'Elanna to sit at the table and he prepared to serve her. He placed a clean napkin on her lap and a slice of the food on her plate."Do you want me to feed you now?" he asked."Do I want you to what?" B'Elanna asked incredulously in a loud voice.Tom cleared his throat. "I asked you . . .""I know what you asked me. And no, I don't want you to feed me!" B'Elanna roared.Tom immediately dropped to one knee as he had been taught. "I'm sorry if I've offended you, B'Elanna. I await your punishment." He shut his eyes tightly and waited."Gods Tom, I'm sorry," B'Elanna breathed. She pushed back the chair. He trembled in anticipation of pain. But instead of the anticipated retaliation, she kneeled in front of him and embraced him. "What did they do to you?" she asked.He opened his eyes and saw that the woman's deep brown eyes were brimming over with tears. She was crying, he realized, crying for him. The Lady never showed this kind of emotion, only lust. He gave into the moment and embraced her as well while her tears flowed. Finally she stopped and looked up at him, but his eyes still looked clouded devoid of the passion that she knew he possessed.B'Elanna brought her right hand up to his pale left cheek and stroked it tenderly. "Tom, this is your cabin as much as it is mine. And I'm your wife, your partner, not your mistress. Now both of us going to sit at the table and eat--together. Okay?"He nodded his head and helped her up from the floor.After they ate and cleaned up B'Elanna noticed that Tom looked exhausted and suggested that maybe he would like to go to bed. She showed him back to the bedroom, turned down the covers of the bed, and told him that he would sleep there for the night. She shut the door. Soon Alera brought the boys back and she settled them down to the night as well. Finally, B'Elanna stretched out on the sofa and after a while slipped off the sleep herself.The next morning B'Elanna rose from the couch, folded up the blankets. She peeked in at the boys and found that they were still sound asleep. She opened the door and looked in at her husband and saw that the bed was untouched from the night before. He was curled up and shivering on the floor beside the bed.She took the extra blanket from the bed and knelt down beside him and covered him. The Doctor had warned her about the withdrawal symptoms.Feeling the weight of the blanket fall over him, Tom opened his eyes and found that B'Elanna was there beside him tucking the blanket around him."Is that better?" B'Elanna asked."Yes. Thank you.""Why didn't you sleep in the bed?""Because my place is on the floor," he explained simply.Even though she wanted to know more, B'Elanna left it at that. "Are you ready to get up? Or do you want to sleep more?""I'll get up."B'Elanna handed him a clean set of clothes to change into and pointed him in the direction of the bathroom while she changed herself. She knew that the boys would probably sleep for another couple of hours before they would be ready to get up. When she returned to the main living area she could hear sounds of retching from the bathroom area. More withdrawal symptoms, she concluded and went to join him.When she opened the door. Tom was sitting cross-legged on the floor, his head in his hands. His face was sweaty and pale and he had started shaking again. She wet a face cloth and lovingly washed his face. All the while, he looked up at her with his beautiful blue eyes. If this was an example of what today was going to be, it was going to be a very long day B'Elanna thought.And the day was.Shortly after the boys arose and had there breakfast. She had one of the female ensigns take the boys for the day. She knew she would have enough to do taking care of her husband. The withdrawal symptoms seemed to follow a cycle. First the shaking, then the vomiting, and then the sweats, and though he didn't complain of it, from the pinched expression he wore, she knew that he had a headache as well.Finally late in the evening, after Kyle and Lucas had returned and were put to bed, Tom started to feel better, though he was very tired.Not wanting to leave him along during the night, B'Elanna slipped under the covers of their bed and asked Tom to lay down beside her. Before long both of them had drifted off to sleep.Chapter 9B'Elanna woke to find herself alone in bed. She sat up, and looked around the bedroom. Tom was nowhere in sight. She quietly called his name as she slipped out of bed. She heard mumbling below her, and she cautiously looked down to see Tom lying on the floor, asleep. She knelt beside him, and gently shook him awake."Tom, wake up," B'Elanna whispered.Tom mumbled again, and opened his eyes. He rolled over onto his back, and looked up to see B'Elanna."Why are you on the floor again, Tom?" She asked, concerned.Tom looked at her strangely, "The Lady always said that the floor was for me to sleep on. She only allowed me on her bed when we were coupling."B'Elanna's eyes flashed. She was angry, not only because that p'taQ of a woman made Tom sleep on the floor, but also because he had sex with her. B'Elanna snarled.\*Calm down, Torres,\* she told herself, Tom was pumped full of that drug. He didn't know what he was doing. He probably barely remembers.B'Elanna looked down at Tom, who was calmly staring at her. She could forgive him for sleeping with Daylia. Besides, she had more important things to do. That being helping him remember his life on Voyager.She gently smiled at him as she ran her hand through his hair, at least he looked better this morning. She knew she had a lot of work ahead of her, but she was going to attack it like she did any problem she faced."Get dressed, Tom," B'Elanna said, "We're going for a walk."Several minutes later, Tom and B'Elanna were walking down the corridor. B'Elanna was pushing their twins along in the stroller. He was still confused about them, even after she told him all about them. He still couldn't remember anything about her or their children. She was getting worried that he might never remember, but she refused to give up.Tom though kept looking around at his surroundings. Occasionally, he would get flashes of something, but it was gone before he could grasp it. Sometimes, he would hear voices, but could not place them.Last night, he had another troubling but wonderful dream. He looked over at B'Elanna. She was in his dream, and they were coupling. Then a shadow would take him away as she reached out to him.Tom would also get a sense of familiarity every time he was near this woman. A couple times, he got an overwhelming feeling of possessiveness. This confused him even more. How could he feel this when he was the one that was a possession?The family entered the Mess Hall, and Tom stopped in his tracks.Another flash of something sparked before his eyes. A familiar smell came to his nose afterwards. He scrunched up his brow, shook his head, then followed B'Elanna to a table. He sat down and watched the children as B'Elanna went to get their food.The babies kept calling to him. He didn't know what to do. He felt he should so something, but his training prevented him from doing anything without being told first."You can hold one of them if you want, Tom," B'Elanna's voice came to his ears.Tom looked at her. She held a tray with two meals on it. She set it one the table, picked Lucas up, then handed him to Tom. She sat down, and watched Tom stare at his son. She hoped holding the child would trigger something.Tom stared into the boy's intense blue eyes. The pilot recognized the eyes. He looked at B'Elanna, confused. "Lucas has your eyes, Tom," the half-Klingon explained, "Kyle has your hair. They both have your mischievous smile."The last sentence cause a lump to rise in B'Elanna's throat. She wished so much to see that smile again. When everyone thought he was dead, she was sure she would never see his smile again, except from their sons.Tom looked at Kyle. He then ran a hand through his own blonde hair. He shook his head, confused and frustrated."I don't know," he grounded out, "I don't remember any of this!"B'Elanna reached out, placing a hand on his arm, "It's all right, Tom. Take your time. It'll come back to you."Soon, I hope, B'Elanna silently added.After their meal, the family went Holodeck Two. B'Elanna decided to show her husband the very program that brought them together. She believed the forest program would trigger many memories. She hoped it would work. She tapped in the commands, took a deep breath, and walked through the doors, Tom followed.When the doors closed, they were completely surrounded by a lush green forest. A waterfall sounded in the distance. B'Elanna looked at Tom, hoping to see a glimmer of recognition in his eyes.Tom stared at his surroundings in awe. The place was beautiful. He breathed in the "fresh" air and smiled."It's wonderful. Where are we?"B'Elanna offered a small smile. He clearly didn't remember."This is your holoprogram, Tom. The forest is from Canada."Tom looked at her. He created this? Canada? He shook his head. He hated not remembering. He ran hand furiously through his hair."Canada?" he forced himself to remember, "That's on Earth, isn't it?"B'Elanna nodded, glad he remembered something. It was a start."You programmed the waterfall a couple months later. You made this especially for me, Tom."Tom stared at her then at the forest. He must have loved this woman very much to create something as lovely as this.Suddenly, a flash of light penetrated his eyes. An angry voice came to his ears. A woman's voice.B'Elanna's voice. Then his voice. Tom shook his head as he saw himself and B'Elanna standing by the waterfall. They were arguing about her Klingon side. Then they were kissing. Then B'Elanna hurriedly left. Then the images and voices were gone as if they had never happened.Tom blinked then he shook his head again. He ran a hand through his hair again and closed his eyes. He remembered something. That had to be it. He remembered something, but he didn't know what. He gritted his teeth and growled."Tom?" B'Elanna asked, concerned.Tom looked at her. Her brown eyes were full of worry. What could he tell her? That he remembered something, but didn't know what it was? He shook his head. He didn't want to give her any false hopes."I'm just frustrated," he answered. He looked away, into the forest. He tried to bring back the images, but nothing came. He sighed and shook his head again.B'Elanna's hopes fell. Clearly, he wasn't remembering anything.\*Those aliens must have done a number on him,\* B'Elanna thought, That drug must have really erased his memories. I won't give up on him, though. He will remember."It'll come back to you, Tom," B'Elanna vowed, "You must believe that. Don't give up, Tom."Tom looked back at her. He could see that she was just as frustrated as he was. He offered her a small smile and nodded. He wanted to remember his life here. It must have been a whole lot better than being on that planet answering to every whim of Daylia. He was starting to believe more and more each day that he had been used by The Lady. She never cared for him at all, only herself and her meaningless pleasures. He held back a snarl, but his blue eyes flashed with anger.B'Elanna caught that flash and felt her heart leap for joy. He was finally showing some emotion! She smiled at the small victory."What's wrong, Tom?" She asked, trying to keep the joy from her voice.Tom shook his head, not looking at her, "I want to remember my life here. Maybe I'm trying too hard. Maybe if I just go with the flow something will come back to me unexpectedly."He looked at her then. She appeared hurt, but she nodded her head."I'm sorry that I'm not remembering anything," Tom apologized.B'Elanna smiled slightly, "Don't worry about it, Tom. They pumped you so full of drugs, it might take some time before you remember anything about your life aboard Voyager."Tom nodded. He then offered her a smile, "Why don't we take a walk? I doubt you'd want to waste this wonderful program by standing around."B'Elanna smiled. That sounded just like Tom. She took his hand and the family walked into the forest.\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*The small victory she had on the Holodeck was a small one indeed. A few hours later, Tom was back to being apathetic and confused. She wanted to take him back to the program and leave him in there until he remembered everything, but that idea was quickly discarded. She knew that what Tom needed was time -- time that was quickly becoming non-existent. She was getting frustrated and agitated with the lack of progress. She was beginning to wonder if he would ever regain his memory.The next morning, B'Elanna found Tom again lying on the floor asleep. A wave of anger then sympathy came over her. She wanted to kill Daylia for doing this to him. Her once robust, full-of-life husband had been reduced to an insecure, solemn man by the Lady. She wanted to kill the whole village for doing this to him. She wanted to kill the people who took him away from her and sold him to that p'taQ.Looking down upon him she could see his eyes moving beneath the lids and his head move first to one side and then the other. He's dreaming B'Elanna thought as she crawled out of the bed. B'Elanna knelt down beside him and noticed that his breathing was becoming very rapid. She saw that it wasn't just a dream he was experiencing, it was a nightmare. She gently shook him awake. She soon regretted it when his eyes opened wide and he screamed."No! Stop! I'll do whatever you want, just stop!""Tom!" B'Elanna became alarmed. She gently shook his shoulders, coaxing him to wake up. Finally, he slowly opened his eyes and stared at her. She saw the fear and pain in those eyes, and she took him in her arms to comfort him."It's all right, Tom," she whispered, "It was just a dream."Tom froze. He never received such sympathy from the Lady. In fact, Daylia never showed him much of anything, except possessiveness. He didn't know what to do now that he was faced with such compassion. He was confused.B'Elanna felt him tense up. She knew he didn't know how to handle this. She released him and stared into his eyes. He was truly confused."Do you feel better now, Tom?" B'Elanna asked.Tom nodded, "I thought I was back on that planet. I'm sorry if I frightened you."B'Elanna placed the palm of her hand against his cheek, "It's all right, Tom."Tom grabbed her hand and held it. They stared into each other's eyes for several minutes. Finally, B'Elanna removed her hand from Tom's grasp and stood up."Get dressed, Tom," she said, falling into a routine that they had develop to help him adjust. She knew that she had to tell him what to do, or else he would just sit there. She hated doing it, but she hoped he would break away from this and do things for himself. At least, she mused, she didn't have to help feed him.The past couple of days, though, Tom was starting doing things for himself. He took showers, which at first, he was in complete awe of. Now, he loved them. On occasion, she would catch him singing.She smiled at this. It was another small sign that his memories were resurfacing. Now, if the bigger more important memories would show themselves.\*Just be happy of the small victories,\* she told herself, The larger ones will come soon.B'Elanna decided to take Tom to Engineering. She knew it wouldn't trigger anything big, but she hoped he would remember the little things he did when he was down there. She knew he had helped her on numerous occasions in Engineering. She hoped he would remember one of them, at least.They left the children with a babysitter, and left to go to Engineering. B'Elanna was a little nervous. This would be Tom's first appearance in Engineering since he had returned to this ship. She hoped it wouldn't be too much for him. B'Elanna had warned her staff in advance that Tom would be coming him down. She told them to act normal and not to overwhelm him.The couple left the turbolift and headed down the corridor to her realm. She hoped that they would soon venture to the Bridge. She believed, really believed that maybe seeing the helm would trigger his memories. He loved to fly, but somehow even that had been erased. Or at least, buried by that godforsaken drug. She continued to curse the Lady everyday, everyday that she came up with a memory or feeling that Tom was missing. She truly wished Tom had never gone down to that planet with them. He should have remained on the ship, safe and away from those predators that took him to be sold.They entered Engineering and Tom stopped at once. He stared at the warp core in complete awe.His mouth was open and his eyes were wide. He looked at her. An expression of, "What is that?" planted on his face."That is the Warp Core," B'Elanna explained, "It's the reason we can go so fast. It moves us along in space. This is Engineering," she added with a wave of her hand, "It's where I work and keep this ship going. I'll show you around."B'Elanna showed him around Engineering. She kept on eye on him as he stared in total awe and wonder at his surroundings. She shook her head. It was almost like showing a primitive being around the ship. If she didn't know better, she wouldn't have believed it. She saw him looking at a console, and she could have sworn she saw a flash of knowledge spark behind his blue eyes. She almost thought he was going to punch in some commands, but he only stared at it."Those are the navigational relays," B'Elanna told him, "You've been down here many times to look at them. I don't know how many times you've messed with them."Tom looked at her, strangely, "What do you mean? I worked down here?"B'Elanna smiled, "No. You worked on the Bridge. You flew this ship."Tom's eyes widened at that, "I what!?"B'Elanna almost laughed at his surprised expression. She sobered, though as she remembered that he didn't know."Before you were taken, you were a pilot on this ship," B'Elanna explained, "You were-are the best pilot we have. You used to make sure no one forgot that."Tom stared at the consoles before him. They looked familiar, but he couldn't place them. He wished he knew. He wanted to know, but a huge wall was blocking his memories from resurfacing.He growled and slammed his fist on the console. "I can't take this anymore!" Tom shouted, causing most of the staff to look his way, "I can't remember anything, and it's driving me crazy!"Tom stared at B'Elanna, his eyes a dark cloud. He then stormed out of Engineering, leaving her distraught and frustrated.That night, she returned to their quarters after several hours in Engineering. B'Elanna had to explain to her staff about Tom's outburst. They told her they understood and sympathized with her. She was glad that they understood. She was having just as hard a time as Tom was. He was trying so hard to remember, but nothing came. She wondered if she was pushing him too hard to do so.B'Elanna stripped off her uniform and went into the bedroom. She was not surprised to see Tom lying on the floor. She sighed and went to kneel beside him. She brushed a stray lock of hair off his forehead. He stirred and rolled over on to his back. She heard him mumble something, but didn't understand what he said. Then she stood up and climbed into bed.B'Elanna stared at the ceiling, trying to figure out a way to get him to remember. She was almost at the end of her rope, but she was determined not to give up. She had to get him to remember. The little things were not enough anymore. She wanted him to remember something important. Then it hit her.\*Tom has to remember the first time we made love,\* she thought to herself, I know that must have been a very special time for him, after all that's he been through.Chapter 10B'Elanna looked over the edge of the bed. Tom was fast asleep, but this was important enough to wake him up."Tom," she whispered.Tom stirred, but didn't wake. She called his name louder and he opened his eyes. They stared at each other for several moments. Even in the dim light, she saw a flash spark in his blue eyes, and she hoped he was remembering something."Come up here," she whispered.Tom looked at her strangely, "You want me up there?""Yes, Tom. Please."Tom slowly sat up and looked at her. They were mere inches apart. B'Elanna could smell his familiar scent and she inhaled it deeply. She reached out a hand and buried it in his blonde hair. She pulled him closer and kissed him. He responded quickly. She didn't know what to think about that. Was it because of his "training" or because of some deeply buried emotions that demanded to be remembered? She deepened the kiss, hoping that the buried emotions would break through.Tom ran his hands through her dark hair. This felt so much better than coupling with Daylia. He felt something coming to the surface as his tongue danced with hers. He tasted her sweetest. He felt an overpowering sense of joy and belonging. He wanted more, he embraced B'Elanna as he stood up and moved to join her on the bed.B'Elanna felt the familiar jolts of emotions as she wrapped her arms around Tom. She laid down on the bed, bringing her mate with her. She moved her lips to his jaw then his neck. She nibbled on his earlobe and was amazed to hear him moan. She smiled, He has to remember this.B'Elanna ran her hands through his hair as she brought his head back down for a kiss. She ran her hands down his back and around to his front. She then ran her hands up under his shirt and over his chest, he fingers tangling in his golden chest hair. This produced another moan from him and she couldn't help, but be overjoyed.She removed his shirt and tossed it aside. It had been quite awhile since they had last spent a night together. She wanted to make this memorable. She wanted him to forget about that cruel mistress on that planet.Tom ran his hands through her dark tresses. Inhaling her scent, it seemed almost familiar. For a fleeting moment, he saw himself burying his face in dark silky hair and breathing in its scent. He shook his head. A memory? When was this? As he tried to force the memory to continue, it was gone. He shook his head, and looked down at the woman beneath him. They stared into each other's eyes. He found himself lost in those brown depths. This woman must have meant a great deal to him for he to have married her. He just wished he remembered it.Tom then bent down and brought his lips to hers and kissed her deeply. Again, he felt a wonderful sensation of joy and passion. The feelings grew as the kiss deepened. Suddenly, he let himself go as the emotions took over. He began to kiss her forehead, down her nose, her lips, then her jaw and finally down her throat. He heard her moan his name as she gave into the sensations he was giving her. He kissed her face and down her throat until he came across her nightgown. He stared at it and then moved his hands down her body. She sighed as her hands moved over his chest then back up over his shoulders. His hands found the hem of her gown and he slipped them under the material. His hands moved up her body and she gasped and moaned.Tom withdrew his hands and removed her nightgown. He then tossed it aside. He stared at her body in awe. The light bronze coloring was beautiful. Another flash of light sparked behind his eyes. He saw himself hovering over her, staring at her bare flesh exposed before him. He was in awe then as he was now. He could feel himself becoming quite aroused. He closed his eyes and sighed as another something surfaced. Another memory? He saw himself looking up at her then. She was on top of him, grinning at him. Then the memory was gone."Tom?" B'Elanna asked, concerned that he suddenly stopped.Tom looked at her and smiled. She sighed contentedly as he ran his hand down her bare leg. Tom then slowly slid her underwear off and her excitement grew. B'Elanna couldn't contain her joy much longer as she anticipated his next move. Her dark exotic eyes at him as he removed his briefs and she smiled at him as he crawled his way back over her. Wrapping her arms around him, she drew him closer to her for a deep kiss and he ran his hands through her silky hair as the kiss deepened.B'Elanna sighed as she felt him nibble her earlobe and kiss his way down to her breasts. She gasped as he took one in his mouth. She held his head there as he licked and suckled on it. She closed her eyes and relished in the feeling that he remembered what she liked. She hoped this would bring back more memories as he moved to the next breast.Tom received another flash of a memory. He saw himself in a bed much like this one with red satin sheets. The only difference was that they were in a much smaller room. He remembered the feeling of joy he had at being with this woman alone with no one around. The memory was gone at once and Tom was left even more frustrated. He looked at B'Elanna, whose eyes were closed and head tilted back. He licked his way back up to her mouth, he heard her moan his name.He took her mouth with his and their tongues danced. He ran his hands into her hair and suddenly he entered her. Hearing her gasp, Tom felt her tighten her grip on his hair. Another flash of light sparked before him. He saw himself and her in the middle of a field of wildflowers. They were on a blanket, naked. They were coupling again with a wild abandonment. Is this a wish, or a memory.? he wondered.\*How long have I been with her?\* He asked himself as the vision vanished."Tom?" B'Elanna concerned voice came to his ears.He looked at her, the dark pools of her eyes stared at him. Tom couldn't recall ever seeing anyone express such concern from anyone before. This was confusing him even more, he didn't know what to do or say. If only he could remember something without it disappearing before he realized the meaning of it.B'Elanna saw the frustrated look in Tom's eyes. She hoped he was remembering something. That was the third time he stopped during their love making.\*Tom has to be remembering something,\* she swore to herself, He just has to be.Tom shook his head and again took B'Elanna's mouth with his. Their tongues tangled together again as the passion rebuilt itself. This time, there was no stopping as they abandoned everything around them.B'Elanna moaned as Tom began to move inside her. The familiar powerful thrusts took her to new heights as she gave into her emotions. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he moved faster and deeper into her. She dug her nails into his back as the joy of reclaiming her mate washed over her.Tom felt many feelings and sensations wash over him. Something about this felt so right as he thrust deeper into her. Another flash appeared before him. This time, he saw himself biting her. He was confused at this. Then another memory made itself known. Klingons bite their intended mate. The vision was gone as he heard B'Elanna moan and he felt her nails dig into his back. He nibbled on her jaw as he quickened his pace.B'Elanna growled deeply as she neared the edge. She was unaware that Tom was licking and nibbling on her jaw. She screamed when he bit her. At that moment, she fell over the edge in ecstasy.Tom thrust one last time then released into her. He called out her name as his world exploded around him.Tom woke to find B'Elanna lying on his chest. He looked at her and felt the sense of protectiveness rise in him again. He stared at the ceiling, he tried to think of why he would feel like that. It was almost like the feeling of possessiveness that had asserted itself the day before.These feelings must have been there the whole time, and had been buried when he received his "training." Now they were reasserting themselves with vengeance.He looked down at B'Ellana and was suddenly overcome by a feeling of contentment devotion and belonging. He knew at that moment even though he couldn't remember everything, that this was where he was meant to be. With Daylia, he had never felt that way. He just felt that he belonged to her. He kissed B'Elanna's dark hair and settled down to sleep. He dreamed again, this time of a shuttle and a bed covered in satin.
\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*
Whatever little Tom remembered of last night was gone the next morning. He was again quiet and passive. B'Elanna almost wanted to strangle her husband after what they had experienced after their love making the night before, but she restrained herself. Sighing she got dressed for work. It seemed that she was becoming more and more agitated as Tom's memories refused to return.She would take her frustrations out on her staff. They could understand her anger, but no one dared speak to her unless they wanted their head bitten off. They avoided her unless she spoke to them.During her shift, a console blew out. She barked at an ensign to fix it. Two people showed up late, with unsatisfactory excuses and she reported them. She barked at them to clean the Jeffries Tubes as she went to file the report. When the ensign reported what was wrong with the console, she could feel a headache coming on. B'Elanna ordered him to fix it then scanned it twice for any more problems. Then the Captain ordered her to her Ready Room. She was not happy about that at all.Something was wrong with the Engineering console on the Bridge and she was asked to fix it. She grumbled the whole time. On occasion, she would look over at the Conn. An ensign was there now, but she could imagine Tom flying the ship. If only he could remember his life here. B'Elanna was more determined now to get her mate to remember.After her shift was over, B'Elanna headed back home. She had something planned to help Tom remember. She would get him to visit the Resort. They had such fond memories there.\*He has to remember the Resort,\* B'Elanna thought, If he remembers that, then everything else will fall into place.B'Elanna's hopes were dashed, though as they stepped onto Holodeck One. Tom stared at his surroundings in wonderment. He looked at her and asked, "Did I make this too?"B'Elanna smiled slightly, "You helped. This is called the Resort. We came here often to rest and relax."Tom looked at the Resort again. He could detect a slight scent of salt water in the air. He breathed it in and instantly a flash of recognition sparked before his eyes. Laughter -- he heard laughter and he opened his eyes. Briefly Tom saw himself standing by B'Elanna. Happiness--he felt very a feeling of euphoria wash over him. Looking around and he could see two people standing before a crowd of people and heard them announce that they were going to be married. He caught a brief glimpse of B'Elanna laughing and he was beside her. But the image was gone again like all the others, much too soon for him to say that he remembered.Tom looked at B'Elanna. Her dark eyes were filled with hope. He didn't want to disappoint her, but he just couldn't really remember. He wanted to tell her about the flashes he was getting, but he didn't want to give her false hopes. But he did though know a place of relaxation when he saw it.Tom smiled at her and said, "Shall we relax then?"B'Elanna returned the smile. She took his arm and they walked over to two lounge chairs that were close together. She sat down in one while Tom sat in the other. This brought back a special memory for her, and she hoped that Tom would remember as well.He let out the breath he had been holding and closed his eyes. He slowly relaxed. He smiled as he felt the warmth of the sun beat down on his face.B'Elanna looked at him. She remembered that smile, it was the same one he gave her when they used the Resort after their adventure in the Argala Habitat. She relaxed into her chair as well. That was when she got an idea."Tom," she asked, "do you want a backrub?"Tom stared at her strangely. She wants to give ME a backrub? He didn't know what to say, but it sounded wonderful and he nodded his head. The shock of her question had erased his knowledge of what his back looked like."Why don't you take your shirt off while I go get some oil?"Tom nodded and proceeded to take his shirt off. He was suddenly reminded of his wounds. He felt ashamed and was about to put his shirt back on when B'Elanna returned with the oil. She sat down next to him and told him to turn around. He did so and he heard her gasp. He winced at that and suddenly felt self-conscious. He made a move to cover himself, but her voice stopped him."Haven't you had those healed, yet?" B'Elanna asked, staring at the wounds on his back. They looked like deep welts on his back. As if someone had scratched him. A sudden flash of fury built up inside her, and she had to restrain herself from going into frenzy and destroying everything around her.Tom could hear the deep concern in her voice. He was surprised that this woman cared about him so much. He turned around and saw the emotion in her dark eyes."The doctor tried to heal them, but..." he shrugged.B'Elanna stifled a growl. Of course, they were the wounds from a laser whip. Those types of wounds were very difficult to heal, and still they left scars. She closed her eyes and sighed. When she opened them again, Tom was staring at her."If you want me to, I will still rub your back, Tom."Tom gave her a small smile then nodded, "Be careful?"B'Elanna nodded. The expression in her eyes stopped him. They were filled with compassion and sympathy for him. The intensity of the look was much stronger than it was before. She was truly worried about him. He didn't know what to say. He stared into her eyes and could see that they were filling with unshed tears."What's wrong?" Tom asked.B'Elanna sniffed as a tear fell from her left eye, "To go through what you did. To be punished like that. It must have been more than painful."Tom shrugged, "When I disobeyed the Lady, I was punished. Any man who disobeyed was punished. It was just the way it was."B'Elanna stared at him. How could he act like it was natural to be punished! She forced herself to remain calm as she spoke to him, "That is wrong, Tom. When you were on Voyager, you disobeyed the Captain or the Commander a lot. You were never punished that severely! Usually they'd just confine you to your quarters or limit your rations, but no one ever hurt you."Tom stared at her in shock. He disobeyed before and he wasn't hurt? He shook his head and stared off into space."You are loved and respected on this ship, Tom," B'Elanna continued as she turned him around so his back faced her. "People are worried about you. They want you back. I want you back. It took us a year to admit our feeling to each other, and I don't want to lose that. I don't want to lose you." She pour some of the oil in her palm, kissed him tenderly on his scarred back and rubbed in the oil with her strong hands.Tom was surprised again by the amount of emotion in her voice, and he reveled in her touch. The Lady never talked to him like this or made him feel so good. She never shown any kind of caring for him, except as an object. He wondered if he would ever get used to this woman showing affection for him.Trying to lighten the sudden solemn mood, he decided to change the subject. He looked around the Resort again, and saw several people walking around. Most were holding drinks. Others were playing games, and still others were sitting and talking."Do a lot of things happen here?" he asked, looking at her.B'Elanna's eyes darkened. Her hopes that he would remember were gone. She growled low in her throat as the last of her patience wore out."Damn it, Tom Paris!" B'Elanna shouted at him, her Klingon side getting the best of her. It was hard not to let her Klingon temper show, but sometimes the anger she felt was just too strong and burst through the surface. She was glad that the children weren't here to witness her temper. "Why can't you remember!? You've experienced many things that should have caused you to remember, but nothing has happened! Don't you want to remember!?"Tom felt her anger and it scared him. He backed away from her, holding up his hands."Please," he whispered, "I'm trying. I really am, but nothing is happening. Please, don't hit me. I am trying."B'Elanna glared at him. Then she stared at him. He had never backed down from her when she yelled at him. He always yelled right back, sometimes with more anger than her.\*If I could get my hands on Daylia again, I'd kill her for doing this to him,\* B'Elanna vowed again.Tom saw her eyes flash with anger. Although it aroused him in a way that he could not fathom, he still backed away from her. He did not want to be punished again.B'Elanna noticed him backing away from her. She took a deep breath to calm herself before she spoke, "I'm sorry, Tom. I didn't mean to shout. I'm not going to punish you. I'm just frustrated that you can't remember anything after all that I've shown you."Tom put his hands down and stared at the floor, "I'm sorry, too. I'm just as frustrated. I want to remember. I really do, but there's this wall that blocks everything from my mind."B'Elanna looked at him. He really was trying, she could see that. Maybe, he needed time. Maybe he shouldn't be pushed so hard. Maybe they should back away and let the memories resurface on their own. The only problem was that that could take a long time, and she was not a very patient person."Let's go home, Tom," B'Elanna said in a sad voice.\*\*\*\*\*\*\*"He's trying, Chakotay, but nothing is happening," B'Elanna paced back and forth in Chakotay's quarters. The pacing was making the Commander dizzy."I don't know what to do. I've tried just about everything."Chakotay sighed. He knew she was frustrated, he could tell just by the way she paced. She hardly came to him anymore unless something was really bothering her. He shook his head to keep from watching her pace. His head was starting to swim."B'Elanna, please, stop pacing, you're making me dizzy," Chakotay said, rubbing his temples, "Sit down."B'Elanna stopped, stared at him, then sat down in the chair across from him. She put her head in her hands and sighed. She then growled.I don't know what to do. Sometimes, I think he's remembered something, but then he acts like nothing's happened. I do think he's remembering something, but he won't tell me what it is.""Maybe he doesn't know what he's remembering, and he doesn't want to get your hopes up."B'Elanna sighed, "I thought his forest program would trigger something. I also thought seeing his kids would make a difference. Tom just keeps telling me he doesn't remember. He's frustrated. I know he is. He told me that maybe we should just let the memories come back on their own, but that could take a long time, Chakotay."The Commander nodded, "Maybe he's right, B'Elanna. Maybe this showing him around is too much too soon. Tom's surprised by everything on this ship. He needs time. The memories might come back sooner than you think, B'Elanna."B'Elanna looked at him, "Are you telling me that I should just let him go? I want to help him remember, Chakotay. I have built a lot of memories with him and I don't want him to forget them! What am I to do!?"Chakotay could feel her temper and frustrations rising. He looked at her calmly and said, "By letting him remember the beginning, B'Elanna. Let him stay with Harry. He might know better what to do."Chakotay held up a hand, "You are trying too hard, B'Elanna. Harry might be just what Tom needs right now. He was Tom's first friend on Voyager, maybe those are the memories that need to resurface first. Afterwards, everything else will fall into place."
"You're throwing me out?" Tom asked as he watched B'Elanna pack his clothes. He was hurt and confused by this. He thought she wanted to help him remember. He stared at her with tears building in his blue eyes."No, I'm not throwing you out," B'Elanna answered as she zipped up his bag. She looked at him and her heart stopped. His eyes were shining with unshed tears and he appeared confused. She didn't want to do this to him, but she knew it was the right thing to do. Maybe the older memories had to come back first before the newer ones resurfaced. She sighed and went to him. She stroked his cheek and stared into his eyes."Chakotay told me that maybe your older memories need to resurface first. Your older memories on board Voyager were made with your first friend, Harry. I'm hoping that when your memories with him resurface that the memories you made with me with soon follow. You will be staying with him for awhile. He will be helping you rebuild those memories."Tom reached out and stroked her hair. It was somehow a familiar gesture to him. He leaned over and kissed her on the forehead."If you think it's best," he whispered, his voicing catching a little.B'Elanna didn't miss the catch. She knew he didn't like this, but it was for the best. Hopefully in time, he would remember everything. She ran a hand through his hair."Just remember, I'm here if you need to talk," she told him as she walked him to the door. "And I would appreciate it if you could come up and see the boys at least every other day. I don't want them to feel like you've abandoned them. They are really starting to like having you around."I'll remember," he said. And I'll be sure to come visit Kyle and Lucas, it's a promise.The door slid opened and Harry stood before them. Tom stared at him, trying to remember anything about him, but couldn't."Are you ready, Tom?" Harry asked, noticing the confused expression on his friend's face.Tom nodded. He then looked back at B'Elanna. He felt a sudden feeling of dread. He didn't want to leave her. He knew that his place was with her, but she had insisted that he stay with Harry. He kissed her one last time before he followed Harry down the corridor."I hope he remembers," B'Elanna whispered as she let the doors close before her.Chapter 11"Come on in," Harry said opened the door to his cabin.Tom stood clutching the bag that B'Elanna had packed for him in the hall not moving."Come on buddy, you're letting the flies in," Harry chided cheerfully and put one arm around his shoulders and nudged him forward.Tom nodded his head slightly and stepped through the door. "I'm sorry about this," he mumbled."Sorry about what? You can stay here anytime. You're my best friend.""I am?" he replied."Of course you are. You can put your bag over there by the sofa and make yourself at home."Tom took his bag and carefully placed down next to the sofa just where Harry had instructed him to.Harry let Tom help him fix dinner that night. All the while though Harry regaled him with stories of their past tonight. The adventures they had gone on. Harry tried to keep in light. He didn't mention some of the more traumatic missions like the time they had been in the Chute those memories could wait for later much later.Tom tried again, as he had with B'Elanna to remember -- to remember anything but nothing would come. It was so frustrating to be want something so desperately to be so close at times to touching it, but it just eluded you.Harry seeing the strain on his friend's face decided that they should call it a night early after all he did have to report for duty on the bridge first thing in the morning."Tom, if you don't mind," Harry said with a genuine yawn, "I think I've told all the stories I can for one night and I have to go to work in the morning."Tom nodded his head. He was tired too and really didn't want to listen to any more stories, no matter how interesting they were, about things he didn't remember. It just gave him a headache and he had a terrible one waging a war inside his skull right now."Where do you want to sleep, the bed or the couch?""You take the bed it is yours. I'll be happy to sleep on the couch." Tom said as he picked up the blanket that had been carefully folded up on the end of the sofa."Okay, if you're sure." Harry said and he pulled off his top."I'm sure. And thank you Harry, I really appreciate it.""No problem. You get a good night's sleep."The next morning Harry rose to see that Tom had not slept on the couch like he had told him he would the night before. There beside the couch the tall man lay on his side covered by the blanket his head resting on right arm. B'Elanna had warned him that he had been sleeping on the floor since he had returned to Voyager. The pilot was breathing rapidly and his head tossed and turned while his fingers of his left arm clutched tightly at the edge of the blanket."No . . . .no. . . ." he murmured. "Leave me alone . . ."The young ensign kneeled down beside his friend. "Tom, wake up," Harry said firmly as he shook him awake.Feeling the touch on his shoulder the blue eyes flew open and met Harry's dark concerned ones. Where was he? he wondered at first the he remembered he was in Harry's cabin."You must have been having one hell of a dream," Harry said trying to keep his tone light even though he was very concerned. "That's what you get by sleeping on the floor. What's the matter, my couch isn't good enough for you?" he joked." . . .too good," Tom said barely audibly, but to Harry he said: "I'm used to sleeping on the floor.""Okay, wherever you're comfortable. It's no problem. All right?"Tom nodded and rose to his feet and began to meticulously fold up the blanket and place it back where it had been the night before on the end of the sofa."I've got to go to work, Tom. So let's go down to the mess hall and get our breakfast. After that, you can go see the Doctor. He wants you to come by today. He wants to run some more tests on you.""Okay.""Okay? You're not going to complain about seeing the Doc?""Why should I?""Well it's just that you usually do.""I don't like him?" Tom asked. He couldn't imagine not liking the Doctor, he had been very kind to him.Harry realized that he couldn't kid with him the way he used to, at least not quite yet. "It's not that. It's just that you don't like being in Sickbay very much. That's all. But I don't think that the Doctor will keep you very long, then you can do as you please."Tom looked puzzled. "What do you think I should do?" he asked.Harry couldn't believe this was the same Tom that had shown him the ropes when he had first came on board. Now it seemed like the roles had been reversed."What do you want to do?" Harry asked."I don't know, I don't . . . well B'Elanna made me promise to see the boys," it was more of a question rather than a statement."That's a good idea. Do you know where Ensign Michaels' cabin is?" Tom shook is head no. "No, of course you don't. Well after you're done with the Doc you just tell him that's where you want to go and he'll make sure you get there. Okay?""All right."Harry looked at Tom and he remembered a time when he felt alone and in need of a friend. He remembered back to the time when they had first met in Quark's on DS9 when Tom saved him from buying the colorful, shiny stones from the Ferengi. In fact on Harry's first birthday on Voyager, Tom had used what little replicator credits he had to replicate one of those stones so Harry would always remember how they first met. He had placed the little stone on a shelf by the viewport. He walked over to that shelf now and picked it up and turned it over in his hands. Tom watched his every move intently trying to figure out what he was doing.Harry returned to Tom's side and extended his hand holding the stone. "Tom, I'd like to give this to you." He grabbed Tom's hand and dropped the stone in his palm."Why?""Well let's just say that someone gave it to me once when I really needed a friend, and now I'm returning the favor.""Thanks." Tom turned the stone over in his hand and noticed the way it sparkled. He liked it.Days passed. Harry told him more stories, some about him and others that were not, but still Tom showed little if any sign of remembering he just looked confused. Harry could tell that he was befuddled. It hurt him to see Tom in this condition. Gone was the self-confidence and charm, they had been replaced with uncertainty and fear. Maybe if he was lucky, Kim thought, he'd be able to help him eventually. But the question was: how? Maybe a trip to Sandrine's would be a good idea."Listen, buddy, I'm just going to clean up," Harry said pointing to the door to the bathroom. "Then we can get out of here. Maybe you'd like to go to Sandrine's?""Sandrine's?""Yes a holodeck program you created shortly after you came onboard Voyager. It's a French bar in Marseilles that you used to go to on Earth. I thought maybe it might enjoy it." There Harry don't say it might help you remember. Don't force the issue. Keep it casual. "We might even play some pool. Wouldn't you like that?"Not really wanting to try another holodeck program, but not knowing how to politely refuse, Tom did what he did best lately -- he followed and did was he was told.Harry with Tom following entered Sandrine's and immediately found an empty table at the back of the room."Well gentlemen, what will you have?" Sandrine asked as she approached the table her holographic eyes focused on the order pad she clutched in her left hand."Just the usual, Sandrine," Harry said.The bar owner nodded, her subroutines recognized the voice, then she lifted her head to look at his companion to take his order. When she saw the pilot, she dropped her pad and hugged the bewildered man with great exuberance."Thomas, je suis tellement contente de te voir, cela fait si longtemps!" she gushed. "Que puis-je t'offrir, mon cheri?"Tom eyes first focused on Harry across then table and then a glimpse of a memory, a mere flicker of something familiar passed through this brain. He could remember faces -- his friends -- they had told him on this ship they were his friends and himself standing around that green table off to the side, but as soon as the memory had appeared it vanished again.He looked back up at the woman now composed and was now waiting pencil poised for an answer. "La meme chose qu'Harry," he said. There that sounded right but also strange. He understood what he had said, what it meant, but it was different. He looked confusedly at the young man seated opposite the table."It's okay, Tom. By the way what did you two say, I caught a couple of words but I didn't understand it all?""Um, basically that she hadn't seen me in a long time and she missed me. Then she asked me what I wanted and I told her that I'd have whatever you were having. But I don't understand how," he replied staring at the table.Joy shown on Harry face. "That's a real good sign, a really good sign! You spoke French. You used to speak it every once in a while on board. Actually at one time when you were back on Earth, you once told me that you were quite fluent. Apparently, you have been able to retain that skill." Harry was very pleased. He grinned from ear to ear. Maybe coming to Sandrine's had been a good idea after all."Maybe. I hope so," Tom said, but he didn't sound convinced.The two friends drank there beer and talk a little and Sandrine's got busier. Many members of the crew came by their table and greeted Tom. Many hadn't seen him since his return from the planet, but had heard that he had changed. They happily greeted the pilot and soon there were several people standing around their little table.It was nice that all these people where happy to see him, but it was becoming too much. He didn't know these people.Tom tried hard to remain calm but all these people who he didn't know were all around him, it felt like he was being suffocated. His breathing became rapid and he started to sweat. To try and cover his nervousness he reached for his glass but his hands shook so much the glass slipped from his grip and spilled its contents all over the table."I'm, I'm sorry . . ." Tom said looking wildly around the room half expecting the overseer to appear from nowhere to apply the appropriate punishment. But the only thing he saw were the people. They seemed to multiply right in front of his eyes and they all seemed to be staring at him. He had to get away. He had to get away now."I've g-got to g-go, Harry. C-can't stay," Tom stammered as he pushed himself away from the table. Before Harry could stop him he quickly headed for the door. So great was his haste he stumbled into a couple sitting by themselves. "S-s-sorry." he mumbled and ran for the door not noticing that his commbadge had fallen off in the tumble.Harry rose to go after his friend but a pair of loving arms held him back."Let him go, Harry.""But, Alera, he's my friend," her fiance protested."He's confused, Harry. Tom doesn't know which end is up.""But. . .""Imagine how you would feel if all of a sudden you were forced to live with strangers and you couldn't leave? He needs to be alone. I doubt if he's been alone at all from the moment he came back to the ship.""You can sense that?"She nodded her head and pushed Harry back down to his seat. "Yes, I can sense that and more. People are telling him that he's home but he feels lost and alone. The only home he remembers, they treated him so badly he doesn't want to return to. You, and B'Elanna, have to give him some space. He's got to recover his memories on his own." the Betazoid said soothingly but her facial expression reflected the sympathy she felt for Tom Paris."I only wanted to help him," he said."I know and I think he knows too. Don't worry you haven't lost your friend, he just has to find his own way, in his own time."Do you think he ever will?""Honestly? I don't know, but I hope so," she said and she wrapped her arms around her lover and comforted him.Tom sprinted down the corridor. He had to get away. Get away from them, from everything. He knew only one thing. He had to be alone. He had to think. Finally having reached the end of the hall, he found a quiet alcove. He rested his forehead up against the wall, and tried to catch his breath. What was the matter with me? Why can't I remember? Will I ever remember? Damn, I feel so useless. Damn, Damn, DAMN!!! and he punched the wall in front of him punctuating each word with his right fist until he finally crumbled to the floor clutching his bloody knuckles to his chest. Tears came. They flowed down his cheeks in streams, tears that had been pent up inside him for weeks. Tears that finally caused him to hic-cup. Tears that exhausted him and he fell asleep curled up in the alcove.Janeway and Chakotay having worked through the beta shift left her ready room shortly after the gamma shift reported or duty. As was customary, before heading back to their cabins, or to just one cabin, they took a walk around the ship. This night they walked softly down deck five. Taking advantage of the darkness of the halls and the time of day, occasionally they would discretely kiss each other. Finally having reached the forward section of the deck they spotted an alcove. An alcove that would afford them some immediate privacy."Kathryn, in here," Chakotay whispered. He pulled her in after him. But she, noticing that the alcove was already occupied, pulled him back out to rejoin her in the corridor with one finger placed over his lips. "What?"She pulled on his shoulders and turned him around. "Look," she said softly.There on the deck they saw Tom Paris curled up in a fetal position sleeping."I thought he was staying with Harry?" her First Officer whispered."Me too. I'm going to go find out what happened. I want you to put a guard on the hall so he won't be disturbed until I find out more.""A guard?""Well he's sleeping peacefully, I don't see the necessity of waking him yet. Let him sleep."Chakotay nodded and the Captain left to find Harry.Harry and Alera heard the annunciator alarm sound and quickly bade that the person enter. Harry hoped that it was Tom. Ever since Tom left Sandrine's he had been worried about him.The Captain came into the cabin and Harry's face dropped. Not that he didn't like to see her but she wasn't the one that was lost. The Captain explained what she and the First Officer had found and Harry told her what had happened in Sandrine's, and Alera related to the Captain the feelings she was sensing from Tom and the advice she had given Harry."So this is how he feels?" Janeway asked."Yes and I can't exactly tell you why but he has to be left alone. He has to find his memories on his own. He has to be forced to make his own decisions. To decide for himself where he will go and what he must do."But he doesn't even had a commbadge on him. What if we need to speak with him, to find him?" Harry asked reflecting the Captain's own concerns."I'm sure that he'll be fine. But just in case I'll authorize you to keep a low level cellular scan running on him, just to make sure. And let me know immediately if you get any readings that are unusual."Aye, aye, Captain," Harry said.Tom woke up very, very early in the morning. Upon hearing him stir, the two guard quietly slipped away as they had been ordered.He looked down at his still bloody hand, he flexed it, and winced at the pain. He had to take care of this. He would to go to Sickbay and see that Doctor. The Doctor could help him. But where was he? And where was Sickbay?In the wee hours of the morning with no one around to ask, it took several tries to find the exact floor and corridor but finally he found his way to Sickbay. He walked through the door and looked around. Sickbay was dark."Doctor?" Tom said.The Doctor materialized behind him. "What seems to be the nature of this medical emergency? Tom spun around to face the Doctor. "Oh, Mr. Paris, what can I do for you.""I . . . ah . . . need some help, Doctor." Tom said showing him his hand."Yes, I see," the EMH said. He reached for his ever-handy dermal regenerator and began to wave it over Tom's hand. "How did this happen?""I . . .I . . .""Well what happened?""Well, I punched a wall," Tom said, his head lowered in a soft voice. He waited to be reprimanded.The Doctor's eyebrows raised in surprise and he smiled. "You did?""I'm sorry, Doctor.""No problem Mr. Paris. I'll have this fixed in just a moment." The EMH hummed an aria to himself as the regenerator did its job. Maybe he was getting better, the EMH mused, he actually displayed some emotion. While the Doctor continued to work on the hand, Tom's mind drifted. He recalled a moment when he had sat by one of the biobeds and B'Elanna, he thought it was B'Elanna, lay on it. He somehow knew it was B'Elanna but it didn't quite look like her. There were no ridges on her forehead, it was smooth.". . . Mr. Paris," the Doctor said. "Mr. Paris we are done you can leave now."Tom came back to the present and looked quizzically at the Doctor. "B'Elanna, she was in Sickbay once. On this biobed?" he asked."Of course she was, a number of times. Why I can recall exactly twenty-nine separate occasions, everything ranging from a twisted ankle to . . .""But was there ever a time when she looked different?""Different?"Tom looked confused and rubbed his forehead. "Umm . . . when she didn't have the . . . a. . . ridges?""Are you remembering something, Lieutenant?""Maybe...well did she?""Yes she did. It was an incident that happened during our first year of the Voyage. . ." The Doctor explained what had happened when B'Elanna had been split into two and how he had to reintegrate her Klingon DNA back into her system."And was I here with her? In Sickbay?"The Doctor reviewed his memory banks. "Yes, you were. In fact, you wouldn't leave her side until the Captain had to order you to leave. You were very worried about her.""I see.""I think this is a good sign, Mr. Paris. You are starting to remember.""I hope so, but it is still so intangible.""It will come, just don't force it. Now is there anything else you need?""No, Doctor and thank you.""You're welcome."The EMH deactivated himself and Tom left sickbay. It was still early in the morning. What should he do? Where should he go? He didn't know. Other people had been making those decisions for him for a long time. Maybe he'd try and find the mess hall, after all he was pretty hungry, he didn't recall eating the night before just having a beer with Harry.Tom took a right turn down the corridor and went in search of the mess hall and food. He transverses quite a bit of the ship and when he came across a door that was labeled Shuttlebay Two. He went inside, if felt natural.Inside the Shuttlebay, several shuttles where lined up ranging in size from the largest to the smallest."Good morning, Lieutenant," Nelson, the on-duty officer, piped up upon seeing Paris. "Can I help you?"Tom turned when the officer spoke. Being called Lieutenant still made him feel uncomfortable."Would you like to see one of the shuttles?"Tom nodded. "Yes. Do you think I could?""Of course. How about the Chamberlain? It was always one of your favorites."Tom followed the young ensign over to the shuttlecraft. Nelson opened the hatch and Tom peered in."Go on in," he suggested.Tom looked at him and then climbed inside, Nelson followed.Tom eyes took in every little detail, from the configuration of the seats to the panels that lined the sides of the craft, but what really caught his attention was the controls at the helm.Seeing what he was interested in, Nelson spoke up. "Why don't you have a seat up front?" he asked."Is it all right?""Of course it is."Tom eased himself down into the seat at the helm and lightly touched the controls with his fingertips. Nelson sat behind him quietly, hoping that this would help the Chief Pilot regain his memories. It was a crying shame that he couldn't remember how to fly, Nelson mused."What does this button do?" Tom asked the younger man.Nelson grasped the opportunity. "What do you think it does?""Ummm . . . " Tom thought and from the depths of his mind came the answer. "It purges the exhaust manifold?"Nelson grinned. "Yes. That's exactly what it does."Tom smiled back. He was remembering.Nelson decided to quiz him, and pointed to another button. "And this one, Tom. What does this one do?""It's the button you press to engage the force field?" he replied."Two for two. You're doing great!! How about one more? What's this one?" Nelson asked pointing to a large yellow button to the pilot's left.Tom thought. Yellow button, yellow button. He shook his head. "I'm sorry, I don't know.""Hey, that's okay Tom, you did just great!!" Nelson said slightly disappointed that he hadn't recognized the main control for the stabilizers.Tom too seemed disappointed and angry with himself. "Can I come back again some time?""Any time. Any time at all. You just ask for Nelson, that's me, and I'll be glad to show you around. Maybe we could play Name-the-Buttons again. Okay?""Okay. Thank you. Ahh, Nelson?""Yes, Tom. What can I do for you?""Could you tell me how to get to the mess hall?""Sure no problem."Tom could hear the clanging and clashing of metal on metal when he finally walked through the doors into the empty mess hall. He had been here before with B'Elanna and with Harry so he was somewhat familiar with the layout. Following the sound of the noise, he found the little man who ran the place sitting on the floor of his kitchen and his head inside a cupboard. Every once in a while his arm would fly out and a pot or pan would go sailing across the room. What was his name? Surely he had heard B'Elanna talk to him a few times and mention him by name? What was it? Nelox? Neelix? Yes, that was it. It was Neelix wasn't it?"Umm, Neelix are you all right?" Tom asked wisely staying out of the way of the culinary projectiles."What, what was that?" the little Talaxian asked his head still inside the cupboard."I asked if you were all right?" Tom repeated.Neelix pulled himself out of the cupboard and was surprised to see his ol' friend Tom Paris standing at the far end of his kitchen. How odd, he through, to see him here in his kitchen alone, especially at this time of night."Oh Tom, my friend! Yes I'm fine, I'm just looking for the green seed extractor. It's about this long," Neelix explained holding his hands about six inches apart. "I know I had it last week, but I just can't seem to find it. "His tall friend looked around and spotted the seeder on a self above the stove. He reached up and brought it down. "Is this it?""By all of the Talaxian dragons. Yes it is. Thank you!! I can't make Jalenso porridge without it!"Neelix started to pick up and pots and pans that he had thrown. Tom bent down and help him. Soon everything was back where it belonged."So Tom, why are you here?" Neelix asked."I didn't have anything to eat last night, and I was . . . .""You're hungry?" the Talaxian interrupted.Tom nodded."Well let's see what we've got," Neelix said and opened to door to his pantry. "How about leola root stew? No. Not that. Um, I've got Goteans cheese souffle? No, that's not right either. I know I think I have just the thing in the back of the . . . .yes here it is. Just the thing." Neelix turned around proudly holding up two containers. "Peanut butter and grape jelly!""Really?""Really, Tom. I've been saving them just in case." Neelix got down some bread and slathered on the peanut butter and jelly onto it. "I believed you told me one time that this was comfort food. Neelix looked up at the bewildered pilot with a huge grin which faded slightly. "And I can't imagine anyone that needs more comforting than you right now. In fact, maybe I'll have one with you, I'll even replicate you some milk. Would you like some company?""Please."Tom and the Talaxian sat down in the kitchen and ate. Tom recalled eating this food before. Sometime in the past he had told the little man that this was 'comfort food.' Yes, that described it quite well.Tom watched Neelix eat, watching the way the man would painfully swallow the bites of the sandwich and grimaced at the milk he used to wash it down."You don't seem to like the food." Tom told him. "So why are you eating it?""You needed the company," he replied."The company. . . .A fool . . .needs . . .company," Tom said slowly, thoughtfully.Neelix swallowed the next bite with difficulty. "You're not a fool, Tom." he argued."But you said that once? Didn't you?""Well maybe, I don't remember.""But I do for a change. I remember you saying those words and the two of us crawling into some hole in the sand?" Tom shook his head. "That's crazy.""No, it's not, Tom. That did happen. We crawled into a hole just like that on Ocampa. And I do believe that I told Kes something like that. That you needed company." Neelix smiled broadly. "Tom, you've remembered something. That's wonderful!!"Tom had to admit that it was wonderful. It felt good to finally be remembering things.The days that followed were remarkably the same. Sometimes he slept in one of the alcoves off one of the corridors on the ship. Other times he'd sleep in the mess hall with Neelix's blessing. In return he would help the Talaxian clean up and prepare the food. He made many more trips to the shuttlebay and visited with Nelson. And of course he made sure to stop by and see Kyle and Lucas almost everyday. He could tell that they looked forward to seeing him, and he had to admit that he enjoyed the visits as well. And he also saw B'Elanna as often as he could. He missed being with her terribly. But as much as he wanted to come back and be with her, he knew that now was not the time.Chapter 12Daylia stared at her small gathering of her followers. It had taken two weeks to regain just ten of her former villagers. These ten, she knew were her most devoted. She had to smile they were also her best fighters."Voyager will pay for taking Teryek away from me," she shouted as she paced before them. "I will get him back! I will get my village back!"The small camp erupted with cheers. They wanted to avenge their beloved leader's betrayal and banishment. They wanted to fight.Daylia smiled as her plans for vengeance came into being.
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Tom felt the whip as it smacked across his back. He cried out in pain as it cut into his flesh, but he refused to bend to their will. It would take more than a whipping to get him to obey. He had been through worse treatment than this and came out of it just fine. This would be no different.He heard a voice behind him telling the one with the whip to stop. Tom relaxed a little, but soon he was grabbed from behind and something was injected into his neck.Tom sat up on the floor, he was breathing heavily as his heart pounded in his chest. Looking around the room, he saw that it was dark. The pilot took a deep breath to try to calm himself. Trying to regain his composure, he attempted to find out where he was. He stood up and shook the rest of the dream away, then swayed as dizziness overcame him. Taking another deep breath, he moved his feet in an unknown direction.\*Where am I?\* Tom asked himself as he tried to recall. He knew he couldn't be in the Lady's bedroom. He would have bumped into her bed by now. He reached out with his hands as he walked blindly into a table. He moved his hands down and over the smooth surface. He then recalled the tables of the Mess Hall.\*I'm in the Mess Hall. I must have wandered in here and fell asleep.\*Tom then heard the doors to the mess open and close. He then heard a very familiar voice call for the lights. There was a gasp as the two stared at each other."Tom, are you all right?" B'Elanna asked as she went to her husband."I couldn't sleep, so I started wandering around the ship. I came in here and fell asleep, I guess."B'Elanna helped Tom sit in a chair. She then sat down across from him. He could see the worry in her eyes and somehow it warmed him. He was coming to trust this woman, but he didn't know if he could tell her about his visions."Are you still having those nightmares?" B'Elanna asked him."Yes. There always different. Sometimes, I'm with you and I'm being taken away. Other times, I'm being punished or drugged. There are other dreams that mix themselves with my nightmares. Sometimes, I'm in a cave, other times I'm being confined somewhere."Tom stared at B'Elanna, who was listening intently. She knew what he was talking about. He was remembering his experiences with those horrid people. The others could be memories of his previous life, but she wasn't certain. She didn't want to get her hopes up."It's okay, Tom," she whispered as she reached across the table and took his hand in hers, "There just dreams. I'm here for you whenever you need to talk."Tom smiled at her and she returned it. She then was reminded of why she came to the Mess Hall in the first place."I guess my stomach was trying to tell me something," she said, getting up from the table, "Do you want anything?"Tom nodded, "I'll have whatever you're having."B'Elanna nodded and went to find the leftovers.\*\*\*\*\*The next morning, Tom woke in another alcove. As he had the previous nights, he had wandered the ship after B'Elanna had left. Sometimes it felt like he didn't belong on this ship at all. He quickly got up off the floor before someone saw him, he didn't want to be caught again like last time. He was still having nightmares and could only fall into a peaceful sleep when he slept slept alone, usually in a quiet alcove. He had no idea why. Maybe it was some buried memory that was trying to resurface.Tom tossed the blanket he had into a refresher and another flash sparked before his eyes. He saw himself standing before a console tapping commands into it. Suddenly, an inspiration struck. He remembered something about data banks and the personal files of the whole crew. Maybe if he could get into his own file, he would get some answers to the many questions he had.He went as fast as he could to Harry's quarters. He knew the ensign was on duty and wouldn't be back for hours. He looked around the main room until he found the desk terminal in a small side office. He saw down at the desk and tapped some commands. The computer beeped and he smiled.\*Finally, I'm remembering,\* he thought as he answered the computer's request with one of his own."Access the file of Thomas Eugene Paris, Lt.""Please enter the authorization codes," the computer replied.\*Authorization Codes?\* Tom thought, his hopes failing, I don't know any authorization codes.When the computer repeated the inquiry, Tom simply blurted out the first numbers that came to mind, "Paris, beta-five-nine-two-six."He was surprised when the computer beeped and said, "Working."It worked!? Tom blinked. He couldn't believe it. He actually remembered something. Maybe he would remember more. He smiled as he waited for the computer to finish.The computer beeped a few moments later, bringing Tom's attention back to it. He stared at the picture before him and blinked. In the picture, he looked much younger, but none too happy.He shrugged the thought away and turned to the text. Tom's eyes widened at what he discovered. Tom Paris was the son of an important Admiral and had a promising career in Starfleet. He rubbed his eyes as he read on about the shuttle crash, his cover-up, and then his confession.The doors open soundlessly behind him, Tom was so engrossed in his reading he hadn't heard. Harry entered his cabin and noticed that the lights were on and that someone was in his office. He walked in and saw Tom sitting at the terminal and he looked upset. The ensign walked up behind his friend and looked at what Tom was reading.\*Oh, no,\* Kim thought, He's reading his personal file. He won't like what's in there.Harry was about to stop Tom from reading anymore, but it was too late. Tom had shut it off the terminal and was getting out of the chair. He was startled to see Harry standing behind him."You probably have already guessed what I've done," Tom said, barely above a whisper.Harry nodded his head, "You pulled up your file in hopes that it might help you remember. Tom, what's in those files...""Am I really like that?" Tom asked, his eyes full of fear and hurt, "am I really what that file says? Am I some reckless, careless outcast that everyone despises?"Harry shook his head before Tom could continue, "Maybe, I don't know. I never saw the Tom Paris that those words describe. But that text doesn't describe the Tom Paris that helped this ship and the people aboard it. It doesn't tell of the times you saved many lives by risking your own. It doesn't say how caring a man you are, how self-sacrificing. You've come a long way from that selfish person that that file says you were."Tom offered a small smile, but he couldn't believe what Harry was telling him. Something inside him though told him that Harry was right. People could change, so why couldn't someone who was selfish and reckless. He then remembered one reason that could change a person like that. Children. He sat up straight, and looked at Harry."The boys," Tom said, "I want to see them."Harry smiled, it was good that Tom was finally making decisions on his own. He nodded and the two left Kim's quarters.\*\*\*\*\*"Captain, I'm picking up a ship," the ensign at Ops announced, "It's hailing us.""On screen," Janeway said as she sat down in her chair.The starfield was replaced by a very familiar face. Janeway's eyes narrowed as she stared at Daylia, the former leader of the Amazon race."Hello, Captain Janeway," Daylia said with sarcasm, "I believe you have someone I want."\*\*\*\*\*Tom and Harry were just leaving the turbolift and heading for the Paris-Torres' quarters when Janeway voice sounded, "Kim and Paris to the Bridge. Now. We have visitors."Harry looked at Tom. He knew why the Captain would call him to the Bridge, but why Tom? He hardly remembered his past, let alone how to fly. He mentally shrugged and headed back toward the turbolift with Tom on tow. He hoped the Captain knew what she was doing.\*\*\*\*\*\*\*Why did I call for Paris?\* Janeway asked. She answered herself by saying, Habits are hard to break. Maybe it is time for Tom to have a look at the Bridge. He just might remember something.She was brought out of her thoughts when she heard the turbolift doors open and close. She didn't have to turn around to see who it was. She knew."Ah, Teryek," Daylia said when she noticed Tom, "How nice to see you. Don't worry. I'll soon have to back where you belong.""He belongs here," Janeway said firmly, eyeing the Lady dangerously, "He will stay here."Daylia glared at the captain, "He belongs with me, Captain. I want him. If you do not give him to me, I will destroy you.""They are powering up weapons, Captain, "Tuvok announced, "She clearly means to destroy us."Tom moved to stand in behind the Conn. He suddenly received another flash. He saw himself sitting at the station, his fingers flying over the controls. He suddenly had an urgent need to be in that chair."Understood, Tuvok," Janeway said as she looked at Tom. She was watching him stare at the conn station. She mentally smiled. Something was coming back to him. She then addressed the Lady, "I'm sorry, Lady, but I will not hand Tom over to you. He is a member of my crew and a very valuable one. He belongs here."Daylia's eyes narrowed and darkened, "I warn you, Captain. If you don't hand him over, I will destroy your ship."Tom stared at Daylia. She clearly meant what she said. He looked at Janeway who was glaring at the woman on the screen. She clearly did not intend to hand him over. He had to do something or they might all be killed."Captain," he said, going to stand in front of her, "I'll go. I don't want everyone to be killed, because of me."Janeway smiled. This Tom was very familiar to her. He was willing to sacrifice himself in order to save them." She couldn't let him do such a thing. They needed him, and B'Elanna needed him more."No, Tom," she said softly, "You belong here. I will not hand you over to Daylia.""But," he started to say, but she held up a hand to stop him."You're needed here, Tom. That's all I'm going to say on the matter."Tom blinked back his surprise then turned to stare at the woman on the screen. He could see that she wanted him dearly and would kill to get him. Tom then remembered B'Elanna fighting to get him back. He smiled slightly, but it was a wicked smile. He knew then that if Daylia couldn't win a fight against B'Elanna then she definitely couldn't defeat Janeway. He moved to one side as Janeway stood and went to stand behind the Conn."You are not getting him, Daylia," Janeway said, crossing her arms, "We will fight to keep him here where he belongs.""So be it!" Daylia snarled."Shields up!" Janeway barked as she moved to claim her seat. She then jerked forward as a blast hit the ship."Shields are holding, Captain," Tuvok reported.Two more blasts rocked the ship, causing Tom to fall to the ground. He tried to get up, but was knocked to the ground again. A sudden flash blinded him as another vision came to his eyes. He saw himself in the middle of a battle, his fingers flying across the controls of the helm. It was then that Tom realized where he needed to be."Shields at seventy percent," Tuvok announced as another blast rocked him into his station. He barely even shook his head as he returned the enemies' fire."Move," Tom told Chakotay at the helm.Chakotay stared strangely at the younger man, "Are you giving me an order, Lieutenant?"Another blast hit the ship, and Chakotay maneuvered Voyager to where they had a better aim of the other ship. Phaser fire hit the other ship, damaging it."Aliens' shields are at sixty percent.""Let me have the controls," Tom said again."Do you remember how to fly, Paris?" Chakotay asked as he maneuvered the ship again. This time to avoid a blast. He then turned back to Tom."I don't know, but I do know that I need to be at the controls.""Tom, let Chakotay fly the ship. We can't avoid to follow your hunches right now.""But Captain..."The ship was rocked by a more powerful blast. It knocked Tom off his feet again and onto the floor. Sparks shot out of two consoles and one exploded."Shields at fifty percent," Tuvok said. His fingers flew across the controls as he fired at the ship. The crew watched as a wing on the alien ship exploded into space."Their shields are at thirty percent and falling, Captain."Chakotay maneuvered the ship around again as it avoided several more blasts from the enemy ship. He looked over at Tom to see that the pilot was still lying on the floor. He then quickly moved his eyes back to the viewscreen as he decided his next move. It obviously was the wrong one as they were hit by another blast. Tuvok retaliated though and the Daylia's ship exploded before them."Damage report," Janeway ordered after several moments."Minor damage on decks one through three," Harry reported, "No serious casualties."Janeway nodded then looked to see Tom lying on the floor. Chakotay was over him checking for a pulse. He looked at her as she went to them."He's alive. He must have hit his head. Again."The two smiled as Janeway tapped her commbadge, "Janeway to transporter room one. Beam Lt. Paris to Sickbay."After the blue beam took Tom away, she looked at the Commander and said, "Tell B'Elanna what's happened. You have the Bridge. I'll be in Sickbay."Chakotay nodded. He then tapped his comm badge and asked Engineering for damage reports before he told B'Elanna the news. He knew she would be on her way to Sickbay before she even gathered her complete report.Chapter 13Tom Paris slowly woke to see the familiar grey ceiling of Sickbay. He closed his eyes and groaned."Mr. Paris?" A voice came to his ears, "Can you hear me?"Tom opened his eyes to see the Doctor hovering over him. Feeling a throbbing pain in his head, he closed his eyes. He put a hand to his forehead and moaned.The Doctor opened his tricorder and scanned his patient. After a while, he spoke, "You hit your head during the battle. You have a slight concussion. I'll give you something for the pain."Tom opened his eyes at the sound of a hypospray. He then turned his attention to the new arrivals when he heard the doors to Sickbay open. He was not surprised to see Captain Janeway, but the concern on B'Elanna's face confused him."Tom," the chief engineer said as she went to stand beside him. She stroked his hair as she looked into his confused blue eyes."What's wrong, Tom," B'Elanna asked as Janeway joined them."Tom?" The helmsman asked even more confused, "Since when did you call me Tom? What happened to 'pig'?"B'Elanna looked at Janeway, her dark eyes worried and confused. Janeway stepped closer and asked, "What do you remember, Tom?"Tom stared at both of them. He didn't understand what was going on. He must have hit his head harder than any of them thought. The pilot closed his eyes as he tried to remember the previous events. The Doctor mentioned a battle. What battle? He then took a deep breath and answered, "The last thing I remember is going to the Bridge. I then woke up here."Janeway and B'Elanna looked at each other. Janeway nodded, telling her engineer that Tom was in fact on the Bridge during the fight. They looked at the pilot and Janeway spoke, "There was a battle between a hostile people. The leader wanted you back. Do you know who she was?"Tom opened his eyes and stared at them confused, "An alien wanted me back? What do you mean an alien wanted me back?"B'Elanna spoke then, "This alien, a woman, had taken you as her slave, Tom. She drugged you and made you do things against your will."Tom sat up then, "They drugged me!? What did she make me do!? And why don't I remember?!"Janeway placed her hand on his shoulder to calm him, "Yes, she drugged you. I won't go into what she made you do. That is between you and B'Elanna."Tom stared at B'Elanna, shocked. "Did she kidnap you as well, Torres? Did she drug you? What did she make us do?"All kinds of things ran through Tom's mind. They could have done many things while they were drugged. He shivered as dark thoughts entered his mind. He didn't want to think about them, so he shook his head to banish them."She only put us through hell, Tom," B'Elanna said as she stroked his hair. This confused him even more. Why was she suddenly so concerned about him?B'Elanna continued, "The aliens who kidnapped you made us all think you were dead. It was three months before we found you in that village on that alien planet. They had enslaved you. The leader wouldn't let you go. I had to fight her for you."Tom stared at her. She fought for him? He looked at Janeway, who nodded. Frustrated, he asked, "What the hell is going on here!?" He looked at B'Elanna, "Why are you suddenly so concerned about me? What happened on that planet?"Janeway and B'Elanna stared at each other. The Captain could see the hurt, fear, and confusion flash across the half-Klingon's dark eyes. He clearly didn't remember at all.Janeway looked at Tom, who was waiting for an answer. He was afraid and confused as well. She had to tell him what has been going on."Tom," Janeway began slowly, "The leader of that village wanted you has a sexual slave. She drugged you and tortured you into being submissive. When B'Elanna and I found you, you were so passive we thought you'd never be the same Tom again. You also had amnesia. We tried for weeks to get you to remember. Then the leader returned and threatened to destroy this ship if we didn't give you back to her. We fought her and won, and you were injured in the battle."Tom stared at both of them again. He closed his eyes and slowly exhaled. Another alien woman took advantage of him. At least, this time it was all her fault. He hoped it was all her fault. He looked at them. B'Elanna still stared at him with concern, but there was a hint of fear in her dark eyes."What's wrong?" he asked.B'Elanna looked down then back at him. She appeared nervous all of a sudden. He knew there was something up and she was afraid to tell him."What, Torres? Just tell me."B'Elanna stared at him. She swallowed and took the plunge, "The reason I fought for you against that, p'taQ, is because you are my mate. We are married."Tom's eyes opened wide in shock. How the hell did that happen?! More importantly: When? He didn't remember any ceremony or anything that made her change her mind about him. He shook his head and suddenly felt very dizzy. He slowly lied down and closed his eyes."How long have we been married? When did we get married?" he asked, trying to stop the spinning sensation in his head."We have been married for about a year, Tom," B'Elanna said calmly. Inside, her stomachs were flip-flopping. He didn't remember them getting married, but he knew her and he knew the captain. Something was wrong here. Completely wrong.Tom looked at her. He searched her eyes and saw that she was telling the truth. He shook his head. This was too much. He must be in some parallel universe. That was the only explanation for everything that was happening to him. He slowly sat up and looked at the captain."Captain, did we run into any strange anomilies recently?"Both Janeway and B'Elanna stared at each other. They knew immediately what he was thinking. Janeway decided to set him straight."No, Tom. We didn't. This is not another universe. You had amnesia for what we assume to be approximately three to four months. You are just now seem to be remembering, thanks to that bump on your head you received on the Bridge, but it also seem you to lose your most recent memories. I know it is overwhelming, but give it some time. You will remember everything soon.""Like when I married B'Elanna?" Tom looked at the half-Klingon. He knew he was attracted to her for some time, but she always tried her best to stay clear away from him. When did she suddenly change her mind?"B'Elanna," Tom said slowly. He didn't want to upset her or get her angry, "When did you change your mind about me?"B'Elanna offered him a small smile. That question had answered her fears. He clearly did not remember the last three years. She tried not to cry as she answered him, "In the Vidiian prison, Tom. You showed a whole new side you yourself. After that, I knew there was more to you than you let on."Tom stared at her confused, "Enough to marry me?"B'Elanna smiled, "No. I was about to marry another a couple years later....""Wait. What do you mean a couple years later? What year is this?"B'Elanna looked at the Captain. The look in her eyes told the engineer that she too, had her fears confirmed. Janeway slowly answered him, "The year is 2374."Tom gaped at them both. Four years had gone by!? He shook his head. He couldn't have been out that long, but then how could have married B'Elanna. The drugs that witch gave him must have wiped out his entire memory of the past three years. He groaned as the realization of his predicament hit him. Would he ever regain those memories?"It's all right, Tom," Janeway assured him, "You'll regain your memories in time."Tom didn't look at either of them. Three years?! He had lost three years! Burying his face in his hands, he tried to not to cry out in frustration. He forced himself to calm down as he attempted to collect his thoughts. Worse things had happened to him, and the Captain was right, he might regain his memories eventually. He just hoped it didn't take another three years to do so.B'Elanna felt miserable. Her husband had regained only some of his memories. She should be happy that he had regained them. B'Elanna didn't know when or if he would ever get the rest of his memories back. She wasn't patient enough to wait another couple months or even years, no matter how long it took for him to remember. She closed her eyes as a thought occurred to her: she would just have to start over with him. They got together before, and it was destined that they be together again.The engineer turned to Janeway and said softly, "May I speak with you a moment, Captain?"Janeway looked first at B'Elanna then at Tom, who was still trying to get his emotions under control. She finally nodded and stepped away from the biobed."What it is, B'Elanna?" Janeway asked.B'Elanna took a breath and let it out slowly. She then nodded to herself and spoke, "I know it will be difficult for him, Captain. It may be worse this time around, now that he has regained some of his memories. He'll be frustrated twice as much with people trying to get him to remember things. I want him to move back in with me and the boys. I know it will be a shock, but hopefully not as big a shock as last time."Janeway looked at the pilot. The Doctor and administered a sedative and he had finally fallen asleep. The Doctor hovered over him running tests. She then looked back at B'Elanna, "You want my advice?"B'Elanna sighed. That's exactly what she wanted. She was at a loss and didn't know what to do. Engines, she could fix with no problems, but this, she had no idea. All she knew was that she wanted Tom near her. She nodded her head."He will be quite surprised and confused that you are living together. He only remembers his first year on this ship. I feel that, it would be too sudden for him to move in with you. He needs to take it slow and readjust to Voyager. I will assign him his own quarters. You can visit him of course. He'll need patience and understanding, B'Elanna. Don't push him into trying to remember. You'll only frustrate him and yourself."B'Elanna offered a smile, "Understanding I can do, but patience was never my strong suit."Janeway returned the smile, "I know. You will have to work on that. Hopefully, helping Tom will help you learn patience."B'Elanna nodded, "I'll be back for him when the Doctor releases him.""That's a good idea."\*\*\*\*\*Two hours later, B'Elanna entered Sickbay. This time, she was pushing a stroller with her twin boys in it. She knew she had to introduce them to Tom. He would be seeing a lot of them in the coming days. She knew this would be a huge shock, but she hoped he wouldn't be too upset.The Doctor came up to her with a curious look on his face, "And what are you expecting from him by showing the boys to him?" he asked.B'Elanna stared at him, "Tom needs to know he's a father, Doctor. It would be unfair of me and everyone else to keep this little fact from him. Also, it might help him come to terms that he's a husband as well. Maybe, he might remember something."The EMH rolled his eyes, "I wouldn't hold my breath, Lt. Torres. It might be a very long time before he remembers anything."B'Elanna refrained from snarling and pushed the stroller toward the biobed Tom was sitting on. By the look Tom was giving her, he probably heard some pieces of the conversation she had with the Doctor. She suddenly became very nervous, but she refused to show it."Hello, Tom," she said softly, "I've brought you some visitors.""Since when did we have two little boys on Voyager?" he asked. Then he noticed the slight ridges on their forehead and look at B'Elanna. He rubbed his own forehead. "They're your children, B'Elanna?" He couldn't believe that B'Elanna was actually a mother."Actually, Tom, there are our sons. They're our twins.""I can see that they are twins," Tom blurted, "But I have sons!? They're mine!?"B'Elanna could have laughed at Tom's surprised expression. It was almost the same as the expression when she first told him he was going to be a father. She smiled slightly and continued, "Yes, Tom. They're yours and mine."Tom stared at her. He was a father? He suddenly had the urge to sit down. His head was spinning again. He closed his eyes and calmed himself as this news sank into his head. So much had happened that he didn't remember. He wondered again if he would remember them at all. After a moment, he opened his eyes and looked at B'Elanna. Concern was evident in her dark eyes. Eyes that had struck him the first time he saw them."What are their names?" Tom asked, softly.B'Elanna nodded, "Their names are Lucas K'Lar and Kyle D'Trem.""There's you Dada, boys," B'Elanna picked up the two children in her arms. They looked about fourteen months old. He gasped when they turned to look at him. They were beautiful. He could make out the faint Klingon ridges more clearly on their foreheads. One boy had dark hair the other blonde."The dark haired one is named Lucas and the blonde is Kyle," B'Elanna said as she went to him. Tom could see that their eyes were also different. Kyle had B'Elanna's dark brown eyes while Lucas had blue ones. He looked at her and she smiled."They're beautiful, B'Elanna," Tom whispered, his voice almost breaking.B'Elanna smiled. She heard the catch in his voice. He probably never thought he would have children someday. He probably thought he'd never marry, either. This must have come to him as one big surprise. No wonder he thought he was in another universe."I've come up with something for the three of you to do while rebonding," B'Elanna mentioned, changing the subject, "It's ready for you when you are, Tom."Tom looked at her. This was all very new to him and sudden. Since she was willing to make it as easy for him as possible, he should at least try. Tom nodded and a smile crept across her face. She looked incredibly beautiful to the pilot then. He hardly remembered her smiling like that. She must have learned to smile during the three years he missed. If only he could remember."Would you like to go now?" B'Elanna asked.Tom smiled, "Why not? I would love to see what you came up with."The half-Klingon rolled her eyes. She could tell that his sense of humor was starting to return. At least, she learned to appreciate his humor even when he was trying to cheer her up. She was quite grateful that his humor was returning. It gave her hope that the rest was sure to follow.The family headed toward the holodeck a few minutes later, B'Elanna could tell he was nervous and confused, but he wasn't at all near the terrified submissive Tom that they rescued from Daylia. If anything, he was almost normal. If one considered that he was hiding behind that mask of his normal. She knew better, though."Here we are," B'Elanna said, stopping at the doors to the holodeck. She called up the program and the doors slid open. She turned to him and saw surprise flash across his eyes, though his expression was calm.Tom followed her inside. He looked around at his surroundings to find himself in a zoo. The sounds and smells of animals were all around. He turned back to B'Elanna, an expression of puzzlement on his face."We're at the San Diego Zoo back on Earth," B'Elanna explained, "It's actually Harry's program for the boys. I thought it would be great for you and them to get to know each other again."Tom smiled slightly. He then looked around at the park. It was early afternoon, yet there was hardly any visitors about. B'Elanna must have wanted them to get to know each other again with minimal distraction. He then looked back at her and nodded."It's very nice," he said, a little unsure, "Quite realistic."B'Elanna smiled as she picked up one of the boys, "Harry keeps saying he's picked up some pointers from you."That got her a real smile from him, she suddenly felt herself become weak. B'Elanna had almost forgotten what that smile and those eyes could do to her. Suddenly, the reason she had forgotten came to her. She bitterly cursed Daylia again. The half-Klingon was glad that the woman got what she deserved. She was angry, though she wished she had been the one that killed her."B'Elanna?" Tom asked, noticing her grimace.B'Elanna jumped. She stared at him and saw his concerned expression. She smiled weakly and said, "I'm all right, Tom. Just a bad memory assaulted me. It's gone now."Tom looked at her, his concern still there, "I'm sorry, B'Elanna.""It's all right, Tom." She then handed Kyle to him, "Why don't you take them, Tom. I have to go to Engineering. It might give you a chance to rebond with them."Tom stared at her. She trusted him enough to leave the children with him? He found himself nodding as he took the boys in his arms. Sitting down on a bench, he looked at one boy then the other. He still couldn't get over the idea that these were his sons. It felt like he was dreaming, then he dismissed that idea. If this was a dream, he would have been a whole lot happier than this. And a lot less confused.Tom reached out and touched the ridges on each forehead. They giggled and he found himself smiling. Lucas reached out and gently pulled Tom's hair."Dada," Tom's breath caught at the sound of that. Staring into the piercing blue eyes, he swore he saw himself looking back. He suddenly felt the sting of tears well up in his eyes. He tried to force them away, but he felt one slid down his cheek.B'Elanna watched as Tom embraced Lucas and Kyle. She could barely see the tears coming down his face as he hugged his sons. She smiled softly as the feeling of hope filled her heart.\*One day, Tom, you will remember everything and I will have my husband back.\*The EndPlease email the authors and let them know if you liked the story.Marleena --- blacjac@juno.comPJ in NH --- kelhapam@lr.netSpecial thanks to Isabelle S. and Amanda B. for their help in the French translation.

