
Books by Linda Howard
Published by POCKET BOOKS
LINDA HOWARD
A Lady of the West
POCKET BOOKS
New York London Toronto Sydney Tokyo Singapore
This book is a work of historical fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents relating to non-historical figures are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance of such non-historical incidents, places or figures to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
An Original Publication of POCKET BOOKS
POCKET BOOKS, a division of Simon & Schuster Inc. 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY
Copyright © 1990 by Linda Howington
ISBN: 0-671-66080---
First Pocket Books printing September
POCKET and colophon are registered trademarks of Simon & Schuster Inc.
Cover illustration by Sharon Spiak
Printed in the U.S.A.
Dedicated to two wonderful friends,
Catherine Coulter and Iris Johansen, for a lot of intangibles,
such as support, encouragement, laughter, and memories.
Thank God for Houston, Texas, February 1985.
A man in a passion rides a wild horse.
---Benjamin Franklin
Beware the fury of a patient man.
---John Dryden
The land itself was extraordinarily beautiful, which was perhaps why the earliest humans to settle on the continent chose to live there. Twenty-five thousand years later, give or take a century, it would be called New Mexico, a name that failed utterly to suggest the magic of the pristine alpine forests in the north that were dotted with cold, crystal clear lakes, and graduated to rolling grasslands and solitary mountain cones. The air was so clear it soothed both the eyes and the brain, and the sunset skies were always filled with color.
The first people to live in New Mexico were what the white man would later call Indians, and they flourished for thousands of years in the beautiful land. But when the Spaniards came with their armored warriors, steel lances, and fierce horses to unearth the gold buried in the rich land, they claimed the earth itself for their faraway king. As a reward to the intrepid settlers, the Spanish kings gave them land grants, pieces of paper that declared ownership of the wild land they attempted to tame.
One of these early Spanish settlers was Francisco Peralta, a tall, quiet man with fierce green eyes. He marked out the boundaries of what he would call his, and defended it with his blood. He built an adobe house and sent to Spain for the gently born woman who had agreed to be his wife.
They had only one child, a son. But what a son he was! Juan Peralta extended the boundaries of his father's land, he mined gold and silver, raised horses and cattle, and so became wealthy. In his turn he took a bride from Spain, a woman who fought beside him during Indian raids and who bore him three children, a son and two daughters. For his family, Juan Peralta built a new house, far grander than his father's. His was a harmonious design with arched doorways, cool white walls, and dark earthen tile floors. Fragrant flowers bloomed in the courtyard.
Juan's son, named Francisco after his grandfather, worked even more wealth out of the rancho. But his delicate wife died only six months after the birth of their first child, a daughter. The grieving husband never remarried and cherished his daughter, Elena, as the most precious thing in his life.
By that time, 1831, Americans were wandering all over the West, spreading out from Texas. Most of them were trappers and mountain men, some adventurers. There weren't many at first, but more and more of them came, hard, restless men who were careless of the great beauty of the land. The Peraltas looked down on these crude Americans, and Francisco forbade Elena to speak to any of them.
But one of the Americans, Duncan Sarratt, didn't care a snap of his fingers about Francisco's edicts. When he saw dainty Elena Peralta, he fell in love. Worse, Elena fell in love with him, too. Francisco raged, he threatened, he tried to intimidate both his daughter and the American. But he had given Elena too many years of loving indulgence for her to take his threats seriously. She would have her American.
So she did, and they married with Francisco's reluctant permission. Not being a stupid man, however, he quickly saw that Duncan Sarratt was, perhaps, just what Elena had needed to protect her inheritance. The green-eyed American was a man who knew how to fight and how to protect his own.
Francisco didn't live long enough to see his grandchildren born. He died the next year, 1832, and Duncan Sarratt became ruler of the Peralta lands. He grew into such an absolute ruler that he became known as "King" Sarratt. It followed, as easily as night follows day, that the high valley became known as Sarratt's Kingdom.
The heirs to the kingdom were born: a son, Jacob, and two years later another son, Benjamin.
The boys grew up in the elegant adobe house built by their great-grandfather. They played games on the cool dark tiles, dangled by their hands from the courtyard balconies, wrestled and fought like two tiger cubs, and learned to love every inch of the kingdom that would be theirs.
But in 1845 the Americans fought a war with Mexico. It didn't touch the Sarratts much at first, as far north as they were. But one result of the war was that Mexico ceded to the United States that great and lovely land the Americans designated as the New Mexico Territory. With a whisk of a pen, the Sarratts were living on American soil.
The United States didn't recognize the laws and grants of the government it had replaced. The old Spanish landowners had been living on their granted land for a hundred years or more, but suddenly their homes were legally up for grabs. They could retain their land by filing on it, but most of them didn't know that. Duncan Sarratt, living in relative isolation in his huge valley kingdom, didn't know it. It didn't make much difference; anyone trying to take Sarratt's Kingdom away from him would have to fight to the death to do it.
The sound of gunfire woke the boy. He rolled from his bed and reached for his pants; the year was 1846, and at thirteen he had been doing a man's work on the ranch for the better part of two years. Whatever the trouble was, he didn't intend to hide from it under the bed like a kid.
He heard people running, and shouts echoed in the house as well as outside in the courtyard. He could hear his father's voice yelling orders. The boy stamped his feet into his boots and ran out into the hallway, tucking his nightshirt into his pants as he went. He collided with his younger brother, who had just bolted from his own room. He steadied the younger boy, who asked, "What's wrong?"
"I don't know." He started down the hall with his brother at his heels.
They heard an explosion of gunfire downstairs, inside the house. There was a moment's silence, and then more shots followed, thundering, echoing through the high-ceilinged rooms. The boys automatically ducked to the side.
"Duncan!" Their mother, Elena, bolted from the bedroom she shared with their father. Raw terror was in her voice as she called out to her husband, who was downstairs. She stared at her sons, then grabbed them to her. "Stay here," she commanded.
At thirteen the boy was already taller than his mother. "I'm going to help him," he told her, and turned toward the stairs.
"No!" She seized his arm. "Stay here! I order you to. Take care of your brother. I'm going downstairs to your father. I'll find out what's going on and come back to tell you. Promise me! Promise me you'll stay here!"
"I can take care of myself." Her younger son thrust out his jaw. He was as fierce as his brother. She stared at him for a second, trailing her hand down his face.
"Stay here," she whispered, and ran.
They had never disobeyed a direct order from their mother. They stood in the hallway, anxious because they didn't know what was happening and furious because they wanted to be a part of it. The booming sound of pistol shots and the crack of rifle fire vibrated through the big house. There were shouts and curses from below, footsteps running, glass shattering.
Then a scream splintered through the noise. It rose to a shriek, then fractured into a raw, deep wail. It was their mother.
The older boy bolted for the staircase, but an abrupt sense of caution kept him from hurtling down the steps. He threw himself to the floor, and eased his head around the railing so he could see what was going on.
A man lay sprawled in the entrance foyer, only the top part of his body visible from where the boy lay. Even though half the face was gone, the boy could tell it was his father. An icy feeling of disbelief began spreading through his body. His mother had thrown herself on her husband's body and was still wailing in that awful way. As the boy watched, a man reached down and grabbed his mother's arm, dragging her away from the body. As he did so, the lamplight fell across his face. The boy froze. It was Frank McLain, one of his father's men.
"Get the kids, too." McLain's voice was low, but the boy heard him. "Make sure they're dead."
Elena shrieked and threw herself at him, her nails scoring his face. McLain cursed, then drew back his fist and hit her on the side of the head, knocking her to the floor. "Get the boys," he said again, and bent to the woman.
The boy scrambled backward and grabbed his brother. "Run!" he hissed.
The house was their home; they knew every inch of it. Knowing that their rooms would be the first places searched, they went instead to the corner back bedroom, the guest room, which had a small balcony over the inner courtyard.
"I'll go first," the older one whispered, and swung his legs over the side of the balcony. He gripped the black iron railing and eased down until he was hanging above the ground, then let go. It was only about a six-foot drop, one they had made many times in their rowdy games. He landed as lightly as a cat and immediately blended into the dark cover of the shrubbery that grew close against the walls. There was a quiet thump, and his brother joined him.
"What's going on?" the younger boy whispered.
"Pa's dead. It was McLain who did it. He's got Mother."
There was still sporadic gunfire, as people loyal to Duncan Sarratt and the Peralta family tried to fight. The boys crept around the wall, staying in the shadows. Their rifles were in the study, where they put them each day after carefully cleaning them. They had to get them. The inner ice was still spreading through the older boy; he kept seeing his father sprawled on the dark floor, with half of his face missing.
Their mother's screams grated through the cold night air.
They crawled in through the kitchen door. Inside, their mother's screams were louder, hurting their ears. She was still in the foyer, and they could hear thickly muttered curses, too.
The boy knew, and he went even colder. He was thirteen, and he knew. He rose to his feet, moving as silently as a young panther. He saw a gleam of steel on the kitchen table, and his hand automatically closed on the long-bladed kitchen knife.
The screams were only moans now, and growing weaker. When the boy walked into the foyer, he saw McLain rising to his knees between Elena's legs, pulling out of her body. His pants were open and lowered over his buttocks, his shrinking penis glistening wetly. His pistol was still in his hand. With a faint smile, he put the barrel to the woman's head and pulled the trigger.
An inhuman howl clogged the boy's throat, but he was ice clear through now. He threw the knife, his aim sure, practiced through many hours of play. McLain saw only a movement in the shadows, and he dodged to one side, just enough that the blade went through his shoulder instead of his heart. He bellowed for help and struggled to his feet just as the boy's weight hit him, knocking him back to the floor. The jarring impact made him scream in pain, and the cold floor scraped his bare ass. The boy jerked the knife free, and the bloody blade slashed downward, toward the man's exposed privates. McLain screamed and tried to roll away. The movement of his body deflected the knife enough that it gouged a shallow slit in his upper thigh. With a feral snarl, the boy withdrew the blade and tried again, this time with a low, sideways movement of his arm. The knife gleamed both silver and scarlet, then McLain knew hot, burning, choking agony as the steel sliced into his ball sac.
He shrieked, mad with pain and fear. He rolled and tried to kick, but his legs were tangled in his lowered pants. He'd never known terror before, but now it congealed his blood. He couldn't stop screaming as he tried to evade that slashing knife. In the flickering light he could catch only glimpses of the boy's face, and it was wild.
"I'll cut your goddamn cock off and feed it to you," the boy whispered savagely, and McLain heard him even over the shrill hysteria of his own screams.
A shot deafened them, and the boy was slammed sideways. The knife clattered to the floor, but the boy wasn't down. He scrambled awkwardly toward the kitchen, and the other boy, the younger one, darted forward to help him.
"Kill them!" McLain shrieked, clutching his bleeding balls with both hands. "Kill those little bastards!" He rolled on the floor, his britches still around his knees, and hatred for that Sarratt whelp swelled in his throat until he nearly choked. He whimpered, too terrified to move his hands and see what kind of damage the knife had done, but blood was dripping from between his fingers, and he realized he could bleed to death. Still whimpering, shaking, he lifted one bloody hand and moaned aloud. His penis was still there, but the left side of his sac was a mangled mess. He didn't know if he'd lost his left testicle or not.
God damn him, the bastard had nearly castrated him! He'd wipe the face of the earth clean of Sarratts, he'd skin that boy and leave him for the buzzards. But even as he thought of all the things he wanted to do, McLain knew he'd never forget the choking terror and pain, the humiliation of rolling on the floor, his britches down, while that knife darted and slashed.
The boys lay in the small cave they'd discovered five years before, on the northern edge of Sarratt's Kingdom. The pain rolled through the older boy, shaking him, making him grind his teeth together in an effort to stifle his moans. His brother lay still, too still, beside him. The older boy whimpered from the effort it took him to lift his arm and put his hand on his brother's chest, to feel the rise and fall of his breathing.
"Don't die," he whispered into the cold darkness, though he knew the younger boy was unconscious. "Don't die. Not yet. We've got to kill McLain."
His younger brother had taken a bullet high in his left side. The older boy didn't know how they had managed to escape, but like wounded animals they had crawled away into the darkness. He himself had two wounds, one in his right thigh, another through the fleshy part of his waist. Blood drenched his shirt and pants, and he could feel himself weakening, his head becoming light from the pain and blood loss.
Dimly he realized they might die here.
"No," he said, and touched his brother's still form again. "No matter what, we have to get McLain. No matter what. I swear it."
Major Frank McLain stepped into the sun and watched the buggy approach, his eyes narrowed with anticipation.
She was finally here.
Fierce, gloating satisfaction filled him. He'd never been good enough before, but now a damned Waverly would be his wife. Her mother was even a Creighton---Margaret Creighton---and the girl had the Creighton looks herself, all pale, calm elegance, and aristocratic bones.
Victoria Waverly. Before the war her family would have spit on him. Now she was marrying him because he had money and all they had were empty bellies and impeccable bloodlines. The war and the hunger it had created were the world's greatest equalizers. The Waverlys and the Creightons hadn't blinked twice at marrying their daughter to him in exchange for a more comfortable life.
He could barely wait. He'd wrenched this land from the Sarratts with blood and death and pure guts, and made it his; he now owned more land than any plantation owner in the South ever had, made his name one to be reckoned with in the territory, ran more cattle and employed more men than anyone else around, and still something had been lacking. He'd never gotten what he'd wanted more than anything else in his life, and that was a lady at his table, a true aristocrat to share his name. There had never been any hope of it before, but after the war he'd gone back to Augusta, back to the town where he'd grown up as poor and despised white trash. He'd searched there for the perfect woman of his dreams, and he'd found Victoria. His heart beat faster just thinking about her. He had waited four months for her to arrive, and now she was here. They would be married that night.
One of the men standing behind him shifted to get a better look. "Who's that in the buggy with her?"
"Her little sister and her cousin, Emma Gann, came with her," McLain answered. He didn't mind that Victoria had brought some family with her. He kind of liked the idea of haying them under his roof. Men from all over the territory would probably come to court them. White women were still a rarity, and true ladies were as precious as gold. He had a pleasant moment's thought of the alliances he could forge with advantageous marriages for the two young women. By God, he'd build an empire that would make the Sarratts look like two-bit dirt farmers. Twenty years had passed since he'd killed the last of them and taken the land, but he still hated the name. Duncan Sarratt had always looked at him as if he were trash, and that bitch Elena had acted as if he'd dirtied the air she had to breathe. But he'd gotten both of them, made them pay, and now he lived in the Sarratt house. No, goddamn it, it was his house, just as it was his land. There were no Sarratts anymore. He'd made sure of it.
The half dozen men standing behind him were, in a way, just as eager for the buggy to roll to a stop. Oh, there were some white whores in Santa Fe if they wanted to ride that far, but all of the women on the ranch or anywhere nearby were Mexican. The few white women in Santa Fe who weren't whores were the wives of soldiers, or the odd rancher's wife. These women coming in now were supposed to be good women, but only the Major's wife would be off-limits. Hell, they all knew him. If he wanted to plow his wife's sister, he'd do it and not think twice. So they watched the approaching buggy with hot eyes, wondering what the women would look like, not that it mattered.
Will Garnet spat on the ground. "The Major is acting like a fool over this woman," he muttered. "Ain't no split-tail born worth this much fuss."
The few men who heard him agreed, but didn't say anything. Only two men on the spread were immune to the Major's rage, and Garnet was one of them. He was in his early forties, with dark hair graying at the temples, and he had been with the Major from the first. He was the foreman and did pretty much as he wanted, with the Major's blessing. They all walked lightly around him, except the man standing a little away from their group, his posture relaxed and his eyes cold under the brim of his hat. Jake Roper had only been on the ranch a few months, but he, too, seemed immune to the Major's anger.
They had all been hired as cowpunchers or wranglers, but it was a fact that some of them had been hired more for their handiness with a sidearm than for their bulldogging ability. A man who had made his fortune the way McLain had needed to keep an eye out for his enemies. Not only that, but a spread as big as his was vulnerable to rustling and lightning raids by the Comanche. So McLain had built his own private army of gunmen, and Jake Roper was the fastest. Even the other gunhands tended to steer clear of him. Garnet might have a mean streak in him a mile wide, but Roper was ice clear through. Garnet might back-stab a man, but Roper would squash out a life with as little thought as if he'd stepped on a bug.
Roper himself had little interest in the women. The Major was making a fool out of himself, but it didn't bother Roper. He gave his boss a sidelong glance, but all his contempt was hidden behind his cold eyes. This fancy, high-nosed Southern lady wasn't so special, not if she was marrying McLain. He had a good idea what she was in for. But she'd chosen to come here; she could damn well make the best of it.
When the buggy reached the front of the house, it stopped and McLain stepped forward. He lifted his arms to help one of the women down. "Victoria!"
She stood, but instead of allowing McLain to lift her from the buggy, she placed a gloved hand on his forearm and stepped down. "Major," she said calmly, and lifted back the veil from her bonnet.
Roper's first impression of her face was that it looked like it belonged to a bloodless porcelain doll, very correct and passionless. Yep, a lady, all right, all the way down to her lace drawers---and God forbid any man should see them. Her hair was light brown, what he could see of it, and her voice had been low. That was a blessing; shrill, screeching women disgusted him.
The next woman to alight, also with a gentle hand on McLain's forearm, was a bit on the plain side, with dark brown hair and brown eyes. But Roper thought she had a sweet smile. He eyed her consideringly. He figured this was the cousin.
The next one didn't wait for assistance, but jumped to the ground with a small gurgle of delight. She tugged her bonnet off, and whirled it by its strings. "Oh, everything's beautiful," she breathed, looking around with wide eyes.
Standing beside Roper, Garnet stiffened and swore under his breath. She was a young girl rather than a woman, but she was stunningly beautiful. Her hair was a golden blond mass, and she had big, dark blue eyes. Roper figured a girl like that was going to cause a lot of trouble among the men on the ranch. The little sister was just too pretty to leave her alone.
"Garnet! Roper!"
Both of them stepped forward, faces blank. The Major was beaming like an idiot as he turned toward them. "Victoria, my dear, these are my two right hands. Will Garnet is my foreman and Jake Roper makes sure we're all safe here. Boys, say howdy to my intended, Miss Victoria Waverly."
Victoria 's eyes showed nothing as she gracefully held out a slim gloved hand to the foreman. "Mr. Garnet," she murmured.
"Ma'am." His hand enclosed hers, and he looked her up and down in a way that made her draw back nervously. She met his gaze and was made even more uneasy by his eyes, which were flat and expressionless, like a snake's.
She withdrew her fingers as quickly as possible, resisting an urge to wipe them on her skirt. Instead, she turned to the other man. "Mr. Roper."
She looked up at him and froze. His hat was pulled down low over his eyes, but she could still see them glittering coldly at her. He slowly, deliberately lowered his gaze to her breasts and stared at them for what seemed an eternity to her, before raising his eyes to meet hers again with contempt.
Roper ignored her outstretched hand and merely lifted the brim of his hat. Victoria dropped her arm and turned away, her discomfort intensified. If Garnet's manner was offensive, this man was frightening. His face was still, yet he had looked at her with such obvious disrespect that it shook her. No one, not even the Yankee soldiers, had ever looked at her like that.
It took all her self-control to appear calm as she turned to the man she had come three-quarters of the way across the continent to marry. "If you don't mind, Major, we'd like to freshen up now. The dust is terrible."
"Of course, of course. Carmita! Show Miss Victoria and the girls where they can wash." His voice was harsh when he spoke to the servants, and Victoria gave him a quick glance. She had been raised to never be rude to a servant. But the short, round, middle-aged woman who answered the Major's summons wore an expression of perpetual good nature.
"Please, this way," she said with a warm smile.
Victoria turned to find her cousin, Emma, close behind her, but her sister Celia had wandered off toward the corrals. Victoria called to her, and as the girl skipped back, her face aglow with delight, Victoria didn't miss the way most of the men were looking at Celia. Men everywhere looked at Celia with pleasure, but this was different. They watched the girl the way a cat might watch a mouse.
Victoria ushered Celia into the house ahead of her, wondering desperately if she had done the right thing in bringing the girl with her. At least in Augusta she wouldn't have had to deal with these threatening strangers.
Emma fell into step with Victoria, and her cousin's fine dark eyes mirrored her own uneasy impressions. "Those men..." Emma murmured.
"Yes," Victoria said.
The huge house was Spanish in style, the walls made of thick, whitewashed adobe. Coolness enveloped them as they stepped inside, and Victoria's spirits lifted as she looked around. The walls were clean and white, the spacious rooms were enlivened with colorful rugs. On the second floor Carmita led them past the first door on the right but opened the second, and beckoned Victoria forward. "Your room, señorita," she said.
Victoria was pleased by what she saw. The floor was of dark wood, and a curtained, four-poster bed was set against the left wall. On the right was an enormous armoire. There was a washstand bearing a simple white pitcher and bowl, and a mirrored dressing table for her toilette. Under the window was a chaise longue, and across it was folded a cream-colored blanket. "It's lovely," she said, drawing a huge smile from Carmita.
Celia whirled around the room, sending her skirts flying. "A room of your own!" she crowed. She and Victoria had shared a room for as long as she could remember, and this was an unimaginable luxury to her. "And Emma and I will have rooms of our own, too, won't we?"
Victoria looked at Carmita, who nodded. "Yes, of course," she told her sister as she smoothed a golden strand of hair from Celia's face. No, there was no way she could have left her in Augusta with their parents, who were bitter and joyless after the death of their only son in the war. Celia needed laughter and sunshine, and she gave it back in abundance. But she was a fragile, vulnerable girl. Like a hothouse bloom, she needed careful nurturing to flourish.
"May we see my room next? Please, may we?"
Her enthusiasm was contagious, and Victoria found herself laughing with the others as they trooped down the hallway. "How many rooms are there in the house, Carmita?" she asked.
"Fifteen, señorita. Eight downstairs, seven upstairs."
"You are the housekeeper?"
"Si. There is also Lola, the cook, and my daughter, Juana, who helps me in the house."
Victoria had caught a glimpse of a black-haired young woman when they arrived. "Was it Juana I saw at the stables?"
Carmita's face hardened. "No, señorita. That was Angelina Garcia. Juana does not go to the stables."
"What does Angelina do?"
Carmita only shrugged, and didn't explain. Victoria made a mental note to ask again about this Angelina.
The rooms assigned to Emma and Celia were identical, square and plain, but possessing simple charm. Celia bounced on each double bed in turn, ecstatic at their good fortune, and even Emma's eyes held a fragile hope that things were looking better at last. Victoria tried to muster some of that same sense of optimism, but instead her heart could manage only the slow, heavy beat of dread. She had to marry Frank McLain, and only desperation had brought her to this pass. He had been outwardly kind, but she doubted she would ever be able to make herself feel comfortable with him.
At the thought of marrying him, a shudder shook her. He was barrel-chested and thick-necked, like a bull, though he wasn't very tall; the combination made him appear brutish. Victoria felt suffocated at the idea of sharing a room with him.
She had brought Emma and Celia with her thinking that at least they would have food and clothing enough to be secure. The war had reduced them, quite literally, to starvation, and the Major had seemed their only hope. But after meeting those men---Garnet and Roper---and seeing the others standing back with their awful interest in Celia, she had to doubt her wisdom in taking her cousin and sister from Augusta.
Roper had stared at her with contempt in his cold eyes. She shivered and decided she would stay far away from the man. She was glad he hadn't taken her hand when she'd offered it; she was glad he hadn't touched her. Yet she wondered why he had looked at her like that, as if she were trash. Never in her twenty-one years had anyone done that; she was a Waverly, her mother was a Creighton, and both families could trace their roots back several centuries to English nobility. Before the war, they had been at the top of the social pyramid. Before the war...
Before the war, she reminded herself, a lot of things had been different. She straightened her shoulders. She had lost the privileged way of life she had been born to, the luxuries, the comfort and protection of wealth. She had gone from having it all to having nothing, but she had coped. She had kept her head high even when she was hungry, even when her dresses were threadbare and she shivered with cold, when her only pair of shoes had holes in the bottom. Dresses and shoes had never been the sum of her existence, so she had never mourned for the loss of them.
What the war had done was shatter her family, taking a cousin here, an uncle there. Emma's fiance had been killed the first winter, and the echo of sadness had never left her eyes. Emma's mother, Victoria's mother's sister, had died in '63. Her cousin had come to live with the Waverlys. Then Victoria's adored older brother, Robert, had been killed in the Wilderness campaign. After that she had also lost her parents. They still lived, after a fashion, but their hearts had died.
Victoria had always known that Robert was the magic one, the center of the family, but she'd never been jealous of him, because she had dearly loved him, too. She and Celia had been loved, or at least she had thought they had been. But with Robert's death, her parents had grieved until there was nothing left to give their daughters.
She thought of the home she'd left, of her parents locked in bitterness for what was lost, and knew that she couldn't have left sixteen-year-old Celia there alone. Celia was different and sometimes others grew impatient with her. All of her life Victoria had stepped between Celia and trouble, and she wasn't going to stop now.
Carmita interrupted Victoria's thoughts as they left Emma's room by saying, "The Major, he said the wedding would be tonight. You have your dress, yes? I will get the wrinkles out."
Tonight! A chill ran through Victoria. "Tonight? Are you certain?"
The housekeeper looked puzzled. "Of course. He has sent for the padre. He told me this himself, this morning."
Victoria said nothing more but went with Carmita back to her room, where the trunks had been delivered. With Emma's assistance, they sorted through everything until they found the dress (paid for with the Major's money) that Victoria had brought to be married in. Carmita took it off to be steamed.
Silently Victoria began putting her clothes away in the armoire. Emma joined her, efficiently folding and hanging.
After a moment Emma said, "You know, you don't have to go through with it. We can always go back home."
Victoria leaned against the armoire. "How can we? Do you truly think the Major would pay our way back? No, I agreed to the bargain, and I'll keep it."
Emma paused in the folding of a delicate lawn nightgown, which had also been purchased with the Major's money. All of their clothing was new and had come from him, even their underwear. Emma's eyes were worried. "Have we made a mistake in coming here?"
"I hope not. I pray not. But those men downstairs... the way they looked at Celia---"
"Yes. I saw."
Victoria walked to the window. The land was beautiful, incredibly so, but alien to everything she had known. She had expected a calm, peaceful ranch, and instead she sensed an undercurrent of violence she couldn't explain. "I feel uneasy," she murmured. "Those men are so threatening. That sounds silly, doesn't it? But I didn't expect them to be armed."
"The territory is still a dangerous place. I expect most men are armed."
"Yes, of course. It's just so different from home. The Yankee soldiers were armed, but that was expected."
"And they didn't look like the gunslingers we've heard so much about."
"Or read about in that dreadful dime novel Celia bought in Texas."
The two young women looked at each other and smiled, remembering the lurid descriptions that had had Celia wide-eyed. Emma's common sense calmed her, but Victoria couldn't entirely dismiss her own uneasiness. A faint blush rose to her cheeks as she returned to the chore of unpacking, and she darted a quick glance at Emma. Her cousin was two years older than she, and had been engaged. Perhaps she was in possession of more information than Victoria was.
"I wonder if he will sleep in here?"
Emma looked around. "It doesn't seem likely. If he intended for you to share a room, wouldn't he have put you in the room he already occupies?"
Relief almost made Victoria's knees go limp. "Yes, I should have thought of that."
"Perhaps that door connects with his room." Emma pointed.
Victoria walked to it and twisted the knob. It opened into another bedroom, obviously occupied. She quickly shut it again. "I'd thought it was to the privy."
At least now she knew they definitely wouldn't share a room, thank God. But that wasn't all that worried her. She busied herself hanging the sensible skirts and shirtwaist blouses she'd insisted on having for everyday wear. "Do you know what will happen tonight?" she asked in a low voice. "Afterward---when we're alone."
Emma's hands stilled, and she bit her lip. "Not really. Didn't Aunt Margaret tell you before we left?"
"No, except to say that I must do my duty. That's all very well, if I only knew what my 'duty' was. I feel so stupid! I should have asked. You were engaged; what did Aunt Helen tell you?"
"I suppose she thought she would wait until right before the wedding, for she never told me anything. The things I heard in school---"
"Yes, I know. I imagine I heard the same things, but I can't believe they are true. The only thing I really know is that married people may sleep in the same bed." And have babies. She barely contained a shudder at the thought. She didn't want to have the Major's children; she couldn't even bear for him to share her room.
Emma bit her lip again and thought of Jon, her fiance. After they had become engaged, he had often kissed her in what she knew must be an improper manner, but it had been so wonderful she had gloried in it rather than rebuking him as she ought. He had held her tightly and touched her breasts. He had used his tongue while kissing her, though at first she'd been shocked. And when he'd held her so tightly against him, she had felt a hardness in his trousers, and she had instinctively known that it pertained to what happened between a man and his wife, that mysterious, fearsome unknown they'd whispered about so avidly in school.
Jon. The long years since his death had eased the brutal grief, but not the yearning. She had loved him, but more than that he had begun awakening her physical senses in a way that left her feeling her aloneness even more keenly than she would have. Still, she knew that she would rather be alone than be the one who married Major McLain.
Victoria was truly the only family Emma had left, for she had never been close to her aunt and uncle, and Celia, though happy and lovable, would never be able to share the memories of growing up together as she and Victoria did, or the responsibilities of adulthood. She clenched her fist and looked at her cousin, who had agreed to marry Major McLain in order to protect her family. For all her air of fragility there was steel in Victoria , and fierce determination. Emma knew more than anyone that it was Victoria who had somehow managed to keep them all fed these past two horrible years when no Southerner had had enough food, Victoria who had bartered and economized, who had spent hours laboriously tending a small vegetable garden in the backyard. Now her cousin needed information, and no matter how embarrassing the discussion was, Emma decided to give it to her.
She cleared her throat. "Jon---used to touch my breasts."
Victoria was very still, her eyes wide and troubled. She tried to imagine the Major touching her there, and shrank from the idea.
"And he used to get hard. His---his privates would get hard." Emma looked down at her clasped hands and couldn't look up again. "I think a husband does something between a woman's legs with his privates, and that's what makes a baby."
Victoria felt as if she couldn't breathe. Dear God, did she have to let the Major rub his privates against hers? He would have to lift up her nightgown, and he would have to be unclothed... Nausea made the bade of her throat burn, and she swallowed. The horrible image of his thick, brutally strong hands on her breasts, pulling up her gown, made her whirl away and clench her fists.
Emma stared at her hands. "Of course, Jon never did anything to dishonor me," she murmured. "But I wish he had. I liked it when he kissed me, and touched me. I wish he had done the rest of it, too, and perhaps I would have had his child."
They had been so strictly raised that for Emma even to think such a thing was scandalous, but Victoria couldn't feel shocked. Emma and Jon had been in love, and for them to do that even unblessed by marriage seemed far less obscene than the proposal that she do the same thing with the Major inside the marital bonds. With that realization, she felt the truth of Emma's aloneness and moved to touch her cousin's shoulder.
"I won't feel as frightened now, knowing. Thank you." She made her voice firm.
Emma gave her a little smile. "I don't know that much. Most of it is guessing. I suppose we should have asked."
"Much good it would have done us. Can you imagine Mother saying even as much as you have?"
Emma hesitated. "Will you tell me?" She blushed. "I mean, when you know for certain."
Respectable women never talked of such things, but Victoria nodded. She didn't feel daring, only desperate. She and Emma would have to bolster each other and work together to protect Celia, who saw good in everyone and therefore knew neither danger nor caution.
Victoria looked around the room. It was pleasing in its simple colors, larger and airier than she was accustomed to, as were all the rooms in the house. Tonight she would become a wife and would no longer be Victoria Waverly, but Mrs. Frank McLain. Someday she might be a mother. This, it seemed, was to be her role in life, and her duty was to fill it impeccably.
She had been raised to be first a perfect lady and then a perfect wife, an ornament on a man's arm and a capable mistress of his house. In her world women were gentle and graceful, charming and concerned only with a woman's activities. A wife always deferred to her husband. She would try to be the lady she had been raised to be, try to always be gracious and proper. She knew nothing else she could do; there was no backing out, so she might as well make the best of it. Many women had married men they didn't love and led fulfilled lives; Victoria was certain she could do the same.
But when she thought of the coming night, she couldn't stop shivering.
Will Garnet couldn't get the little blonde out of his mind. Her glowing face was perfect, and he bet her breasts would be nice and round, instead of drooping like Angelina's. Hell, Angelina would lie down for any two-bit saddle tramp who had the price, so there wasn't anything special about her. Now, that little blonde... she was a virgin for sure, she had that look about her. Garnet wanted to be the first. He wanted to see that beautiful little face when she got it for the first time; he bet she'd like it, after she got used to it some. Not like her cold stick of a sister. The boss wouldn't be getting anything in his bed except a poker.
Garnet cast a sidelong glance at Roper, who was sitting at the table in the bunkhouse. He didn't have much use for the man, and he knew the feeling was likewise, but they would both be at the wedding. Boss's orders, just to make certain no trouble interrupted the ceremony. Garnet grunted and spoke to the gunhand. "The boss's woman ain't much, is she? But, damn, that little sister sure makes up for her."
Roper was cleaning and oiling his big .44s, and never looked up.
Familiar anger rose in Garnet. If Roper wasn't so damned fast with those guns, he'd have kicked his ass a long time ago. But nobody pushed Roper, not even the Major. If it had just been that, a bullet in the back would have taken care of him. The thing was, any back-shooter would have to make damn certain Roper was dead, and most of the men thought Roper wouldn't go down that easy. He'd only been on the ranch a few months, and they still didn't know much about him, other than he was damn good with horses, snake-quick with a gun, and as cold-blooded and deadly as a rattler. It was in his eyes, those cold, clear, emotionless eyes.
Roper never let his guard down. Even now, while he was cleaning his .44s, he only unloaded one at the time. Nor were they his only weapons; a big Bowie knife, all fourteen inches of it, rode in a scabbard at his left kidney, and another knife, this one thin and balanced for throwing, was in his right boot. Those were the only ones Garnet knew about; he figured the gunslick had at least one more hidden somewhere on his body.
But what really made the men wary of Roper was the way he'd killed Charlie Guest a couple of months back. Guest had always had more mouth than sense and was a bad-tempered bully on his good days, so Garnet really didn't give a damn that Roper had killed him. It was the way he'd done it. Guest had taken a dislike to Roper and started mouthing off at him, and got even madder when the gunhand had ignored him the way he was doing Garnet now. Then Guest had made the mistake of going for his gun. He'd never made it. Before he could even clear leather, Roper had been on him, moving so lightning fast that Garnet still wasn't quite sure what had happened.
Roper had dropped Guest to the bunkhouse floor and planted a knee in his back. He'd hooked his left arm around Guest's neck and pushed on the man's head with his right hand. They'd all heard Guest's neck pop like a chicken's. Without even breaking a sweat, Roper had left the dead man lying on the floor and gone back to what he'd been doing like he'd never been interrupted.
The dead silence in the bunkhouse had been broken when one of the cowpunchers blurted, "Why didn't you shoot him?"
Roper hadn't looked up. "He wasn't worth a bullet."
The Major liked having a man like Roper in his employ; he felt it gave him a certain stature. Garnet didn't like the way the Major was depending more and more on the gunslick, but was helpless to do anything about it. Nobody on the ranch was going to take him on after what he'd done to Guest.
Goaded by his silence, Garnet snapped, "That little blonde's mine."
Roper flicked a glance at him. "Fine."
Somehow, the indifference stung Garnet. Nothing touched Roper. The man wasn't human; he didn't even use Angelina's services. Garnet had begun to think something was wrong with Roper in that way until they'd gone into Santa Fe and Roper had holed up with a woman the entire three days they'd been there. The fool woman had watched him leave with a dreamy look in her eyes.
Just under his breath Garnet said, "One of these days, gunslick, I'll get you under my sights."
Roper lifted his head and smiled in a way that didn't change the expression in his eyes at all. "Any time."
Victoria's dress was white, long-sleeved and high-necked, and had one of the new slim skirts she had seen the Yankee ladies in Augusta wearing. Celia oohed and ahhed over it, when she wasn't whirling around in her own new blue dress.
Emma brushed out Victoria's waist-length hair, skillfully wound and secured it up on her head, and pulled several strands loose at the temple to soften the look. Emma's calm face helped. Victoria's hands were steady as she affixed a tiny spray of seed pearls in her hair. "How does this look?" she asked.
"It looks wonderful!" Celia was full of admiration. She adored Victoria and was happy that she looked so pretty in her new dress. Celia didn't begin to understand what this wedding meant to her sister. Victoria tried to pretend the occasion was as happy as her sister believed it to be.
"It does look wonderful," Emma said more quietly. Her dress was also blue, a shade that went extremely well with her pale skin. Her mass of dark hair had been wound into a smooth coil on the back of her head. Her eyes met her cousin's in the mirror, and Victoria managed a small, reassuring smile.
Carmita knocked and put her head in the door, smiling broadly as she took in the three young women. "The Major is ready, señorita. You look very pretty!"
Victoria rose to her feet. "Thank you." She managed a smile for Carmita, also. Just before they left the room, she took one more look around it. She would not be a Waverly the next time she stepped through this door. A white silk and lace nightgown lay across the bed, and she quickly looked past it.
The men were gathered in what she assumed was a parlor. She saw McLain, the priest, Father Sebastian, and the two men she had met that afternoon, Garnet and Roper. Victoria quickly walked to the Major's side, not letting her gaze touch either of the two hands as she gave them a polite nod. Roper stood a little in her way, but he didn't move, and she had to go around him to keep her skirts from brushing his legs. She could almost feel the scorn in his eyes as he watched her.
The Major was beaming as he took her hand and tucked it in the crook of his elbow. "You look beautiful," he said heartily. "I sure am getting my money's worth." She controlled a flinch.
To the priest McLain said, "Get on with it."
The wedding ceremony was brief, too brief for Victoria's peace of mind. In only a couple of minutes they were man and wife. McLain turned her to face him and pressed his wet mouth on hers. Victoria kept her lips firmly together and her mind blank as she willed herself not to shudder. She drew back as quickly as possible and turned away, meeting Roper's eyes as she did so. For the first time she noticed he wasn't wearing his hat, and she could clearly see his face. His eyes were clear and cold, his expression so contemptuous she almost stepped back. Why did he hate her so much?
The thought made her lift her chin as imperiously as any Creighton or Waverly had ever done; this man was a common thug, a hired gun. She gave him back stare for stare.
Roper's lips twitched into a humorless little smile, and he gave her a brief nod, as if in recognition of her nerve. Still, it wasn't until he turned away that she felt herself released.
The Major rubbed his hand down her arm, accidentally letting his fingers touch her hip. Victoria started, but forced herself to smile at her new husband. It was just that she was so nervous, she told herself, and she didn't really know him. Once she had a chance to relax, everything would be all right.
"What did you think of your bedroom, girl? Right nice, ain't it?" The Major's tone was somehow leering, but he seemed anxious for her approval.
"It was lovely," she replied, glad she could be honest. "I'm sure I'll be very comfortable. The chaise especially is a nice touch."
He squeezed her hip again. This time, however, she was looking at him and saw the glitter in his dark eyes when he did so. Now she knew it wasn't accidental. Such a public caress shocked her, and the look in his eyes frightened her a little.
"Later," he said with a wink, "you'll like the bedroom even more."
She couldn't reply. The thought of the coming night was almost enough to paralyze her, if she let herself dwell on it. So she forced it from her mind and somehow got through the evening.
It was a strangely silent gathering, with only the Major talking and everyone else answering him in monosyllables. Emma, bless her, kept Celia close to her side. Victoria tried to smile at the appropriate times and contribute some polite conversation over the dinner Lola served, but she was too tense to do more than go through the motions of being a gracious hostess.
McLain kept touching her. Victoria noticed Garner kept watching Celia. And Roper, whose eyes made her shiver, kept watching her, but now his expression was unreadable.
She wished desperately that she had never agreed to marry McLain. She thought hers was the most dismal wedding supper she'd ever attended, and felt a small spurt of amusement because she was the most dismal person attending it. The amusement quickly died, however, when McLain stroked her arm with the gloating possessiveness that made her feel sick. She felt as if he were flaunting her before the two other men.
For a moment her distress was so powerful that she had to look away, and found herself staring at Roper again. His cold eyes met hers, then flickered to McLain. When he looked back to her, she was mortified to see a faint understanding. That he should know she was dreading the night, and what McLain would do to her, was unbearable.
She went white, then red, then white again. She wanted to run from the table, and clenched her hands tightly together. She had never before had any idea that a man might be imagining her with her nightgown pulled up, but she was certain Roper was thinking just that. Every ounce of modesty she possessed was outraged.
The only thing to do, of course, was to pretend not to notice him. It was rather like closing one's eyes and pretending to be invisible, but it was better than nothing.
Roper watched the color build and recede in her face, and realized the cause; he even felt faint pity. She wasn't a cold and passionless doll, after all. She was frightened---justifiably so, though she couldn't know that. McLain had a reputation for being rough and hasty with women. Nor was he particular in his choices, though this time, it seemed, he'd gotten himself a lady. Bad luck for the lady.
Roper realized he didn't like the idea of McLain rutting on her. It made him furious with himself, but there it was. McLain wouldn't appreciate her pale delicacy, nor would he take the time to give her pleasure. She was too fine for the bastard. She had guts. Damn few men had ever stared at him like that, challenging him with a look. People usually didn't want to look at his face, for some reason; they would only glance at him, and quickly look away. But this pale, slender woman had stood as steadfast as a rock and matched him look for look. She had acted as if she were a queen and he the lowest of her subjects. The thought of it caused a spurt of anger that surprised him. Roper seldom let himself feel any emotion, and he especially didn't want to feel any for McLain's wife.
But there it was. Anger. Respect. Desire. God, yes, desire. He shouldn't feel any of it, he couldn't afford to feel any of it. He'd have to do something about her, sooner or later, and he didn't need his mind clouded by all these unwanted thoughts and emotions. He couldn't let himself soften at all, not now.
Deliberately he looked at the little sister. She was undeniably lovely, and the expression in her dark blue eyes was both sweet and happy, though there was an elusive quality about her he didn't understand. Maybe she was simpleminded. Not stupid, just simple. She was just a beautiful child.
But looking for a distraction didn't help. He turned back to McLain's wife, and the images of hate rose up again in his mind, though he kept his face carefully blank. McLain, murdering his father. McLain, raping his mother and then putting a bullet in her brain. McLain, stealing the land that had been in his mother's family for over a hundred years. McLain, sending the young killer, Garnet, out to hunt down and kill two boys, and damn near succeeding. McLain, living in the cool, gracious house where Roper had been born, back when this whole valley had been called Sarratt's Kingdom.
Jacob Roper Sarratt had returned. He'd come to kill McLain and take back the valley. Until today, that was all he wanted.
Now he wanted McLain's wife, too.
Victoria sat propped against the pillows, clad in her long-sleeved, high-necked white nightgown. She was cold, deathly cold, all the way down to her bones, but she couldn't shiver. Her body felt heavy, incapable of even that tiny movement. Her heart was beating in a slow, ponderous rhythm that threatened to choke her.
Emma had wanted her to leave her hair down, but Victoria had insisted on braiding it as usual, explaining that the tangles were horrendous if she left it loose. The truth was, Victoria didn't want to look too attractive to the Major. It was a small defense, but one she felt would help her in spirit if not in fact.
The bedcurtains were drawn back and tied to the four posters. The room was illuminated by three candles set in the graceful silver candelabra on the dresser, and Victoria wondered why the room was lit with candles instead of an oil lamp, which gave off more light. There had been lamps downstairs. She would ask Carmita tomorrow.
Tonight, though, perhaps it was best that the room wasn't brightly lit. Perhaps she should even snuff the candles. She considered it, and was about to throw the covers back when the connecting door opened and the Major entered her room.
She froze. He was wearing a dark robe, but below the hem his legs were hairy and bare. His bull neck and thick shoulders looked even more odd in contrast to the spindly size of his calves.
But it was his face that most terrified her. He wore such an open expression of gloating anticipation that she wanted to die. Dear God, what was he going to do to her?
He walked to the side of the bed and removed his robe, exposing a white nightshirt that came down to his knees.
"Well, girl, are you ready?" Again, his voice had that leering tone.
She managed to make an assenting noise, but it was a lie. She would never be ready.
"Lie down, then. Did you expect to do it sitting up?" He laughed.
She could barely move, but managed to shift her position so that she was lying flat on the mattress. He got into the bed beside her and leaned up on one elbow. Victoria's muscles tightened even more. He had brown eyes, she noticed. His heavy jaw was darkened by a shadow of beard, and she could smell a sweet, cloying scent about him. Lying this close to him, she was overwhelmed by the mixture of cologne and sweat, so much so that she had to struggle to prevent herself from gagging. Desperately she tried to remind herself that he seemed clean enough, he was just a rather heavy man and naturally sweated.
He bent and pressed his mouth to hers. She could feel the clammy sweat on his upper lip. Revolted, she tried to press her head deeper into the pillow to escape him.
Oddly, the kiss seemed to excite him. He began breathing faster, and his beefy hands jerked at her nightgown. Victoria clenched her fists and tried to prepare for the exposure. At least they were still under the sheet.
But when the nightgown was about her waist he kicked the thin sheet away and rose up on his knees. Victoria closed her eyes, so humiliated she could barely think. He was looking at her there, something she couldn't remember anyone ever doing before. It was shocking enough that he should see her bare legs, but for him actually to look at her triangle of hair was horrible.
The sound of his heavy breathing was the only noise in the room. He put his hand on her bare leg and she jumped. "Feels good, does it?" he panted. "Just wait, there's more."
She couldn't bear more. It couldn't get worse than this. He pulled her legs apart, and nausea churned her stomach. Dear God, he was actually looking between her legs. In all her nightmares she had never imagined this.
He shifted so that he was kneeling between her spread legs. She felt him touching her there, rubbing his fingers over her, and suddenly he pushed one thick finger into her. Her eyes flew open and she went rigid as pain tore through her body. She was dry, and his rough finger felt like sandpaper as it ripped apart the delicate tissues of her hymen. The pain and the idea of what he was doing were finally too much, and she dug her heels into the bed in taut rejection of that horrible penetration, her muscles locked.
With his other hand he had pulled up his nightshirt and was rubbing and pulling at an ugly, veined thing. Victoria looked at him in horror as she suddenly realized what he was going to do. She hadn't thought she could get any stiffer, but she could feel her muscles pulling even tighter, her body going as rigid as a board. He was cursing for some reason as the ugly little sausage rolled limply in his hand.
Abruptly he let himself down and pushed it against her, and Victoria gagged.
McLain barely noticed her stiffness. It was what he expected; she was a lady, not a whore like Angelina. It was his own unresponsive flesh that held his attention, infuriating him. Dammit, he'd never had this trouble before! Despite his wound, he'd always been able to hump any woman he could get beneath him. But now his organ remained flaccid, no matter how vigorously he pulled at it. Frantically he pushed it against her, hoping that the feel of her would get him hard. He grew more panicked and furious with every passing second as nothing happened.
And then he realized she was lying frozen beneath him, just like that Sarratt bitch Elena had done. The demon that had tormented him for twenty years, that lurked inside him always waiting for a chance to leap out, smiled evilly. Once again out of the recesses of his mind came the hellish memory of pulling out of Elena and the shining knife abruptly slashing at him. He remembered the terror, the sick helplessness he'd felt with his pants around his knees as he rolled on the floor, trying to escape that darting knife. And once again he felt the sharp pain and horror of steel cutting into him.
He jerked away from Victoria, cursing and limp. Furious, humiliated, but above all else lost again in that remembered horror, he left the bed and stamped into his own room, slamming the door behind him.
For a long time Victoria lay as he had left her, with her nightgown up around her waist and her body rigid. The only sound she could hear was her own rough, sobbing breaths. When she did move, it was to shove her fist against her mouth to stifle the hysterical sounds that welled in her throat.
She couldn't bear it. If this was what being married entailed, she simply couldn't bear it. The wrenching loss of modesty, the pain... how could any woman ever endure this? She felt shattered by the intrusion into her body, and terrified because she knew he hadn't finished it, though she didn't know why. She only knew he had been trying to put that---thing---into her as he had put his finger. She had never dreamed her very body would be penetrated, never dreamed such things were possible or that men's bodies were so different from women's.
Slowly, her movements stiff and jerky, she slid from the bed. She wanted to wash and she had to blow out the candles. She wanted to hide in the dark and pretend this had never happened, but she knew she couldn't. Her hands were shaking as she wet a soft flannel in the cool water and drew her nightgown up again. She pressed the wet cloth between her legs to soothe the ache and was startled to find it came away stained with blood.
She stood with her head bowed for a long time, trembling. If this was what her life was to be like, she must somehow find the strength to endure it. For Emma and Celia, she had to endure it. For her parents. This was the sort of bargain women had made for centuries, and she would find the strength to keep her end of it.
Knowing that she was only one of many was little comfort, because she was appallingly alone. She couldn't retreat and say, "No, I don't like this, I'm going home." She couldn't run to Emma and sob out her fears like a child. There wasn't even the security of her home, of familiar rooms and streets, familiar people. This huge, elegantly simple hacienda, so alien from her home in Augusta, was where she would live for the rest of her life. She hoped that in time it would become home. But now she knew she had no hope at all that she would ever become accustomed to the Major.
At length she blew out the candles and felt her way across the dark room, to crawl between the sheets and lie for long hours, shivering and trying to muster her courage. She did eventually find some measure of control. If it wasn't courage, perhaps it would do.
She got up early, having only dozed fitfully, and dressed in one of the simple skirts and shirtwaist blouses she had brought. After pinning up her braids, she slipped quietly from the room. She didn't want to wake the Major. She hoped to find Carmita in the kitchen. Victoria had an urgent question that had been tormenting her all night, and Carmita would know the answer. It would be difficult to voice such a question, but she was learning that difficult didn't mean impossible.
As it happened, Carmita, Lola, and Juana were all in the kitchen, gossipping cozily. The friendly chatter of rapid Spanish halted when they noticed Victoria in the doorway.
"Señora," Carmita said, smiling broadly. They were all smiling at her. Belatedly Victoria realized they expected a blushing bride. She did blush, though not from happiness.
She said, "Please, Carmita, may I talk with you for a moment?" Despite her efforts at control some of her despair must have shown for Carmita stopped smiling and rapidly came to her side.
They walked out into the courtyard, so pretty with its multitude of yellow roses. Victoria pretended to look at the roses, fingering some of the velvet petals. She said, low, "If my questions embarrass you, please don't feel you have to answer. It's just---I don't have anyone I can ask, except for you."
Carmita looked puzzled. "Of course, señora."
Victoria flushed again. "Carmita... when a man---that is, what does a man---how are babies made?" She was beet red by the time she finished, and felt utterly helpless.
Carmita gaped at her. Victoria hurriedly turned away, but Carmita laughed and put her motherly arms around the tense young woman. Her brown eyes were warm. "No one thought to tell you the way of things? Poor señora! Yes, sit down, and I will tell you about men and babies."
She did, very succinctly, and Victoria heaved an inner sigh of relief. It was as she had thought, the man did enter a woman's body and there emptied himself of his seed, which sometimes resulted in a baby, though not, Carmita said with heartfelt thanks, every time. The Major had not done that to her, so she would not be having his baby. At least, not yet. She didn't know what had gone wrong last night, and she knew he could return to her bed at any time. They had a lifetime together for him to consummate the marriage. But for today, at least, she was safe.
Another question occurred to her, and she said diffidently, "How does a woman know if she is to have a baby?" She knew they didn't have to wait until they grew big, because she had known several women who had announced their expectancy long before there had been obvious evidence.
Carmita patted her arm. "Your monthly bleeding won't come, señora."
Victoria considered that. Her monthly cycle was so regular she always knew to the day when to expect the onset. It appeared she would have a reliable means of telling, if the worst happened.
"You will also cry a lot, and sleep a lot, and feel so sick that no food stays down," Carmita continued cheerfully. "When you do feel like eating, you will want strange things that, of course, Lola will not have, and someone will have to go to Santa Fe to buy it. That's the way of it. When I carried my Juana, I felt as if I had to have oranges, every day. Señora, I don't like oranges, but every day I ate them, five and six a day. Then Juana was born, and I didn't like oranges anymore."
Victoria sat in the courtyard after Carmita had returned to the kitchen, enjoying the early-morning coolness and the bright sun, calming her frazzled nerves. She had survived the night, as horrible as it had been, and the new day was fresh and sunny. If the coming night brought a repeat of the horror, well, she would survive that, too.
She thought about the things Carmita had told her and wondered why well-bred young women were kept so abysmally ignorant of such basic facts. She would far rather have known what was going to happen, as unpleasant as it had been, than to have suffered in the dread of the unknown, which had made it just that much worse. Her mother had known what she would face, yet had left her in ignorance. Victoria found that hard to forgive.
She would tell Emma. Not about the Major's failure, but the true facts of what men did to women in the marriage bed. She would tell her how babies were made and how a woman knew if she were pregnant. And later, if Celia were ever to think of getting married, Victoria would tell her, also.
She thought of the way Garnet watched Celia, and bit her lower lip. Now she knew what he wanted, and she was more determined than ever to keep Celia away from him.
Roper. He, too, had known what the Major would do to her.
Stunned, she realized that every man knew all of this, that only women were kept ignorant. This was what men did to fast women, to prostitutes. The realization put a different slant on every memory she had. The dances and socials and picnics she had attended had all been a part of the ritual leading up to the marriage bed, and bared bodies, and all of her young beaus had known what would happen. How many of them had looked at her and imagined her with her nightgown rucked up to her waist?
In retrospect she felt very indignant. The system of carefully perpetuated ignorance seemed to her rather like throwing lambs to wolves. She had been prepared for the indignity but not the total loss of modesty or the pain. She thought she would not have been so blindly terrified if she'd had a realistic idea of what to expect. But now, she thought with a wave of depression, she fully knew what her marriage to the Major would be like.
Roper paused by the gate to the courtyard, his attention caught by the young woman sitting so still, with her hands folded in her lap. The bright morning sun glinted on her hair, picking up the gold in it. He realized that her hair was dark blond, not the brown it had appeared before.
She sat staring at nothing, motionless. He knew she couldn't have had a wonderful night, yet her pale face revealed none of it. She might have been a statue, except for the way the light breeze played in the loose tendrils of hair at her temples.
His mother had sometimes sat in the courtyard, when she could find a spare minute in her busy days. Elena had been warm and vibrant, always ready to laugh with her sons and husband. The young woman who sat there now was cool and controlled, with a face as blank as marble.
He felt faintly contemptuous of her for marrying McLain. He felt disgusted with himself for wanting a woman McLain had touched. But the sight of her made his chest tighten, and blood rushed to his loins. He knew her stillness masked her pain and fear, and he admired it. He wanted her for that cool control. He wanted to shatter it with warm passion, he wanted her naked and vibrant and alive with need for him, he wanted her to claw at his back and arch her hips against him. He wanted to snatch her up and take her far away from here, because she was so out of place around men like McLain and Garnet, even himself. Their lives were stained with blood and violence, and it would inevitably touch her. He didn't see how he could prevent it.
He had stared at her too long; she turned her head, sensing his presence, and their eyes met across the courtyard. Without haste, every movement graceful, she rose from the bench and returned to the house. Roper clenched his fists at being dismissed by her, but too much was at stake for him to lose control now. His time would come.
The Major came to her room again that night. Victoria made no sign of protest, but lay with her arms at her sides. Again, McLain expected her to behave no differently.
He was desperately afraid of another failure, of again losing himself to those terrors of the past. McLain crouched between her opened legs and frantically tried to beat life into his unresponsive sex. The more afraid and humiliated he felt, the harder he tried, and nothing happened. All the while she lay there like a damned statue, reminding him of Elena, as if the woman had risen from the dead to torment and punish him.
He swore and rolled off of the bed and returned, trembling, to his own room. Cold sweat trickled down his face and barrel chest. The damn bitch had emasculated him, finished the job that Elena and her bastard had started!
His worst nightmare had become reality. God, he'd wanted her for so long, all of his life. Not her in particular, but someone like her, a lady to show the world he was someone important. She was perfect; a woman of impeccable bloodlines, manners, and breeding. She made Elena and that damned Sarratt look like white trash. She was finally his, and he couldn't take her.
He laughed soundlessly, a little insanely. He had his lady, all right, but he couldn't do a thing about it.
He thought of her white-skinned, perfect body and broke out in a sweat again at the thought of touching her and finding his manhood limp and useless.
In a thousand nights during the past twenty years he had awakened to hear himself whimpering, and found his hands cupped protectively over his privates. A thousand nightmares had been filled with a scarlet-stained knife and a boy's hate-twisted face. In his dreams he couldn't escape and the knife finished its job. The reality had been bad enough; he'd walked spraddle-legged for weeks and his left testicle was drawn and withered. He'd lived in hell until he had recovered enough to find out if he was still capable of humping a woman, though he never let anyone know how desperate he'd been. After finding out that he was still capable, he took to bragging that he was more man with only one ball than most men were with two. But bragging hadn't kept the nightmares away.
But that wasn't true anymore. His greatest fear had been realized. He couldn't get an erection.
She was so dainty and pristine, so untouchable. Frank McLain sat in the darkness of his room and tried to work things out in his mind, find some sort of explanation for the humiliating failure of his flesh. Goddammit, he'd never had any trouble humping a woman before, once he'd recovered from the knife wound. Only this one.
So it had to be her fault. It wasn't him; it was something about her. Maybe ladies weren't for screwing. He had his lady for ruling over his house, his lady to dress in fancy gowns and show off in Santa Fe. With her culture and background, there was no limit to how high he could rise in the territory. That was why he'd married her. Hell, he didn't care if he got any brats on her, he didn't give a damn about leaving all of this to some snot-nosed kid who probably wouldn't have half of his own strength. This was his, won with his guns and brains and guts. He was undisputed king in this part of the territory, and now he had his queen. He had what he wanted. Let her keep her knees locked; women like her were made to be treated like dolls, cosseted and protected, showcased in all their finery and jewels.
That was what was wrong. He just hadn't understood before. He'd take care of her like she was royalty given into his protection, untouchable and untouched. When he wanted to hump somebody, he'd go to the kind of women he was comfortable with, women who squirmed and squealed and liked it.
Like Angelina Garcia. She was just a whore, but she liked it any way a man could give it to her. McLain thought of the times he'd plowed her himself and to his enormous relief felt his manhood begin to stir.
Yeah, that was what it had been all along. There wasn't anything wrong with him, it had been his wife.
He jerked off his nightshirt and hurriedly dressed. He had to have a woman, a real woman.
Angelina had a room in the small building where the houseservants once lived, back when the damn Sarratts had kept enough servants to button up their britches. Most of the building was used for storage now; Carmita, Lola, and Juana used two rooms just off the kitchen. Angelina wasn't much on keeping her room neat; it was always strewn with clothing and food, and stank of sex. She was greedy; she wanted several men a day, and if they didn't come to her she went to them. She was flamboyantly beautiful, with a lush body, long black hair, and flashing dark eyes. As he hurried across the dark ground, McLain thought of what he was going to do to her and grew fully hard.
He could barely wait. A thin line of light showed beneath her door. He pushed it open and Angelina turned her head sharply at the intrusion. She was naked, lying under a patched, yellow sheet, and she wasn't alone. One of the cowpunchers lay naked and groggy beside her.
Angelina was at first astonished to see him; after all, he'd only gotten married the night before. Then a slow, self-satisfied smile curled her lips.
"Get out," McLain said to the cowboy.
The man stumbled to his feet and awkwardly got into his britches and boots. He too was astounded that the Major was there. The tale would be all over the ranch by morning.
Angelina lolled against her pillows, letting the sheet fall to the side so that her large breasts were revealed. "So," she said in a purring voice. "Your grand lady can't satisfy you?" It wouldn't take much, as she knew from experience. The Major was too fast, but she always praised him as if he were the biggest and best stud she'd ever had. Angelina was shrewd enough to know she had a good thing here, and the best way to keep it was to butter up the boss.
McLain grunted as he unbuttoned his pants. "She couldn't even get it hard," he muttered, and from that, and his haste, Angelina understood exactly what had happened. She wanted to laugh, but knew she had too much to lose if she shared the joke with others, even later. She stifled her smile and instead stretched out her arms toward him.
"She must be a cold fish, then," she purred.
McLain freed his erection and lowered himself. "Bend over," he panted, already near climax at the thought. "I want to do it that way."
The dull, endless chores of domesticity had a settling effect, Victoria mused. It had been a week since her marriage, a week in which she had thrown herself into the duties of running the household in an effort to make herself too busy to think. She admitted that the larger portion of her growing serenity was due to the Major's continued absence from her bedroom, but mending had its own soporific effect. She stifled a yawn.
Emma chuckled. "Here we are, about to doze in the sun like two doddering old tabbies." She took two more tiny stitches, then smothered her own yawn.
"It's so pleasant here," Victoria said. She was coming to appreciate more and more both the weather and the landscape of her new home. It was June; the sun could be quite hot at
"Especially here, in the courtyard. I don't believe I care if this hem is mended." Emma replaced the skirt in her basket, looking enormously satisfied with the decision. She yawned again. "But I do believe a nap is necessary."
"Siesta must be contagious."
"It seems to be. Not that they're totally foreign to us. Remember when we used to take naps before evening dances?"
"A long time ago." Victoria looked down the past five years.
"Yes." They said no more about the days past. Neither of them liked to discuss it. The changes brought by war had been too violent, the difference in their lives too complete. Too many people had died.
Emma got to her feet and Victoria did also, her brows knit as she realized she hadn't seen her sister in at least an hour. "I think I'll look for Celia," she said. "She didn't tell me where she was going."
"And wherever Celia is, Mr. Garnet will be close by," Emma said grimly.
Victoria wondered how Garnet attended to his job when he seemed to spend so much of his day lurking around Celia. He hadn't made any untoward moves, but his constant hovering made Victoria uneasy. If she found him near Celia again, she would inform the Major of his foreman's behavior, although she grimly suspected he was fully aware of it.
"Shall I come with you?" Emma asked.
It was tempting to accept her offer. Victoria often felt as if she needed support, and she knew Emma would stand unflinchingly by her side to face anything. But Emma, for all her willingness, was sensitive enough that conflict could upset her to the point of nausea. So Victoria smiled and shook her head. "No. She'll be in the stable, as usual. I'll just tell her we need help with the mending."
"If only she understood," Emma said.
"If she did, she wouldn't be Celia."
Rather than go through the house, Victoria left the courtyard by the rear gate. The ranch buildings were spread in a semicircle about the house, with the smithy to the right, the springhouse far in the rear, a couple of storage buildings, and two bunkhouses, the stable, an enormous barn, and various corrals extending to the left. It was almost a hundred yards to the stable; by the time she reached it, she wished she had put on a bonnet. The sun was deceptively hot on her bare head.
The stable, in contrast, was cool and dark, and redolent with the earthy scents of horses, oiled leather, and hay. Temporarily blind, she stood for a moment just inside the door, letting her eyes readjust to the dim light. When she could see again she quickly spied Celia at the far end of the barn. Celia had climbed halfway up the door of a huge corner stall and was leaning over it with her hand outheld.
Victoria recognized the horse. It was Rubio, the Major's prize stallion. He had boasted about the horse at length, taking delight in the tales of its kicks and bites as if they were admirable. The stallion had killed the Mexican who had been taking care of him the year before. Seeing Celia like that, so close to the big animal, made Victoria's heart stop. She took a step forward but didn't call out, not wanting to startle the horse. .
A man came through the open doors at the other end, a black silhouette painted against the bright sunshine. Even without seeing his features, Victoria recognized Garnet. She hurried her step.
Rubio neighed warningly as Garnet approached. The horse withdrew to the back of the stall, stamping his feet and snorting.
Celia turned to the man and said, "You've scared him! He was just about to take this sugar from my hand."
Garnet hadn't seen Victoria even though she was no more than twenty feet away when he put his hand on Celia's leg, then slid it up to her hip. "Let me help you down."
Celia laughed, a silvery sound. "I can get down by myself."
Angered almost beyond control, Victoria still managed to keep her voice even. "Of course you can. Let's go back to the house; I need help with the mending."
Always amenable, Celia gathered her skirts and jumped to the hay-strewn floor. "I forgot about the mending," she said apologetically. "I was just talking to Rubio." She turned back to the stall. "Isn't he beautiful?"
He was beautiful, and savage. He was a big horse, superbly muscled, dark red in color. Victoria would have been as enthralled as Celia if it hadn't been for his eyes; they held not just spirit, but a viciousness that chilled her. The horse was a killer, but Celia saw only beauty.
"Yes, he's beautiful," Victoria agreed. "Why don't you run ahead and wash your hands before we start the mending?"
"All right." Celia happily left the barn, humming to herself.
Victoria turned back to Garnet, and inwardly braced herself against the hostility in his expression. She kept her voice cool. "Mr. Garnet, I shall tell you this only once: stay away from my sister. Don't touch her again."
He sneered and took a step toward her. "Or you'll do what?"
"I'll tell Mr. McLain you've been neglecting your duties and pestering Celia."
Garnet laughed, a brutal sound. His eyes were dark pits. "Now, that really scares me. He'll tell you to mind your own business, Miz McLain. I run this ranch, and the Major knows it. He can't get along without me."
"I can." The emotionless voice came from the open double doors behind Garnet. "I can get along without you just fine, Garnet. In fact, I like the idea."
Garnet whirled, and a spasm of hate twisted his features. If he had been angry before, now he was furious. "This is none of your business, Roper."
"It is if I make it my business." He hadn't moved from the doorway. With the light behind him it was impossible to see his face, but Victoria found that it wasn't necessary; his voice, flat and cold as it was, stated his intent. "Leave the girl alone."
"So you can have her?"
"No. I don't want her. But you're not going to have her, either."
Garnet's right hand moved, but Roper moved faster. The big revolver was in his hand before Garnet touched the butt of his. Victoria hadn't even seen Roper's hand move. Garnet froze, and even in the coolness of th& stable a sheen of sweat covered his face.
"Pass the word," Roper said flatly. "Everyone leaves the girl alone."
Just for a second Garnet froze, unwilling to retreat. Watching him, Victoria saw the exact moment when he realized he didn't have any choice, if he wanted to live. He turned and stalked off. Victoria quietly exhaled a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. She forced herself to look at Roper as he stepped farther into the stable, though she wanted to flee like Garnet. "Thank you."
He said, "You made an enemy."
Wryly, she answered, "So did you."
He watched the way the small amusement tilted the corners of her lips upward. "That was nothing new between me and Garnet. One of us will kill the other before it's over."
"So you did it just to annoy him?" For some reason that angered her. She thought of leaving, but didn't. She didn't even step back when Roper walked so close by her that his legs brushed her skirt.
"What difference does it make, as long as it keeps him away from your simpleminded sister?"
Her fists knotted. "She's not?" she hissed. "Celia reads and writes; she's as intelligent as most. She's just... different." Temper burned in her cheeks. "Don't you dare call her simpleminded."
"Different, how?"
How, indeed? How did you explain a near adult who still had the innocence and glee of a child without using the label of simplicity? Celia was as fey and otherwordly as a wood nymph. It was as if she was so sensitive to everything that she had to block out the darkness of life in order to survive, leaving her with only sunlight. Victoria sought for the words. "She... doesn't see ugliness, or evil. She expects everyone to be as open and good-natured as she is."
He snorted as he swung a saddle down from the railing. "That's worse than simplemindedness. That's plain stupid, and out here it'll get you killed." He towered over her, and as Victoria refused to step back in retreat she was forced to tilt her head back to look at him. Their eyes met and a strange little frisson of fear raced down her spine. His eyes glittered under the low brim of his hat, and she saw that they were a clear, dark hazel green. He was so close to her that she could see the black specks in his irises, so close that she could smell the sweat on his skin, and feel the heat emanating from him. Her skirts were brushing his dusty boots, and she didn't care. She felt paralyzed as she stared up at him, held immobile by a strange, frightening excitement that knotted her stomach and set her heart to pounding. All of her life she had associated the scents of shaving soap and cologne with men, very civilized smells that she had thought pleasant and nothing more. Yet now the hot, primal smell of Roper's sweaty skin was making her weak, making her think she might have to have support just to stand.
He shouldn't be that close to her. She knew it, yet she couldn't retreat.
"Get on back to the house," he said. His lips barely moved. "You don't belong out here."
She didn't know if he meant the stable or the entire territory, but she suspected he meant the latter. She squared her shoulders and said, "Thank you again, Mr. Roper." She left with as much dignity as she could summon. Had he sensed her shameful, illogical response to his closeness? He angered her and frightened her, but something about him touched a primitive part of her that she hadn't known existed, a part that she knew she must suppress.
She shaded her eyes with her hand as she emerged into the bright sunlight again, and paused when a flash of color caught her attention. To her left lounged a voluptuous young woman, with a thick mass of black hair spilling down her back. She had large dark eyes, lush red lips, and she was brazenly displaying the deep cleft of her full breasts under a white blouse worn off her shoulders. She obviously wore no petticoats beneath her skirt. The young woman met her gaze insolently, her dark eyes raking down Victoria's neatly coiled hair, starched long-sleeved, high-necked shirtwaist, and prim blue skirt.
This was the woman Victoria had seen on her arrival, whom she had taken for Carmita's daughter. What had Carmita said was her name? Victoria had an excellent memory for names, and she produced it after only a short moment. The woman was Angelina Garcia, a remarkably lovely name for a woman whose own beauty was as vivid as that of an overblown rose.
Since she obviously didn't work in the house, Victoria assumed that she must be married to one of the men. She wondered where they lived. She approached the young woman with a smile, determined to be friendly even though Angelina's manner wasn't welcoming.
"Hello," she said. "I'm Victoria Wav---McLain." She wondered if she would ever be accustomed to her married name.
The woman regarded Victoria for a moment longer in sullen silence, then tossed back her long black hair. "I'm Angelina."
"I saw you the day I arrived. I apologize for not speaking to you before now. Which one of the men is your husband?"
Angelina laughed, a sound of deep satisfaction. "None of them. Why should I marry?"
Not married? That was confusing... unless she lived with someone without benefit of marriage? Victoria felt her cheeks heat at her mistake. The poor girl, what an unstable, humiliating existence. But Angelina didn't act humiliated; she seemed positively gloating. Her eyes were alive with it.
In that instant Victoria knew she should walk away and return to the house where she was insulated from these people who were so very different from her. A lady would never dream of talking with a woman of ill-repute, which Angelina obviously was or she would never live with a man not her husband. Nor would a lady have confronted one of her husband's employees in the stables, as she had just done. But perhaps she was less of a lady than she'd thought, because she didn't walk away from Angelina.
Instead she said, "You have a man?" It was an inelegant question, but she didn't know how else to phrase it.
Angelina laughed again, a gloating sound that grated. "I have many men. All of them are my men. They all come to me---including your husband." Again the laugh, and the dark eyes glittered with spite. "He came back to me the night after your wedding! We all thought that was very interesting, no?"
White-faced, Victoria at last turned and walked away, but it was too late. The woman had scored her victory. Humiliation blinded her, and she didn't see the man until she walked into him. His hard hands grasped her shoulders to steady her, holding her soft body so close to him that her breasts were against his ridged abdomen.
It was Roper, leading his horse across the yard. She was too distressed to realize he could easily have avoided her and instead had deliberately put himself in front of her. She backed up, not looking at him. "I beg your pardon," she said tonelessly.
Roper glanced to where Angelina still lounged against the wall, smirking her triumph, and guessed what had happened. The shock was plain on Victoria's white face.
He felt an unaccustomed impulse to comfort. "Don't pay any attention to Angelina," he said. "She's a vicious little bitch." He wanted to put his arm around her, feel the softness of her against him again. God, she had smelled so clean and sweet. A fire smoldered low in his belly, swelling his groin.
If anything, Victoria went even whiter, but she lifted her head with a proud motion and stepped away from him. "Thank you, Mr. Roper," she said steadily. "I'm quite all right."
He watched her walk away again, then went over to Angelina. She straightened, her red lips assuming a seductive smile. It was wasted on Roper; Angelina had been trying to get him into bed with her since he'd come to the ranch, but he wasn't interested. Angelina couldn't believe any man could be unresponsive to her beauty, and Roper had resisted her longer than any man she'd ever wanted. But it was not, she thought, because he didn't want her. He was jealous of all the others who enjoyed her favors, she was certain. He was just being difficult. She didn't mind; it made him more attractive in her eyes, and she was certain that sooner or later he'd come to her. His difficultness would make his surrender that much sweeter.
She thrust her breasts out for him, but he didn't even glance down. His cold eyes never left hers. "What did you say to her?"
"The fancy lady?" Angelina shrugged and pouted. "Nothing. I don't like women. I like men." She tried another smile on him.
Neither his expression nor his tone changed as he repeated, "What did you say to her?"
Many men before her had felt afraid when Roper spoke like that. Angelina felt a chill and straightened with a jerk. "I told her that the Major came to me the night after her wedding," she replied sullenly, then insisted, "It was the truth! You know that."
He did know it. Everyone on the ranch knew it and had snickered about it, joking that the Major's high-nosed lady must have near frozen him to death, and Angelina had had to thaw him out. Roper had been glad that McLain hadn't found any pleasure in his wife's bed, glad that she hadn't clung to him in ecstasy. He was sure Victoria hadn't been spared her husband's attentions, but he'd been relieved to think that, though the Major would occasionally bed Victoria out of duty, Angelina would still bear the brunt of McLain's perversions.
But what had it done to Victoria to discover that her husband had deserted her for a whore's bed one day after their wedding, and that everyone on the ranch knew it? She was a proud woman, and while she couldn't care about McLain, his actions must have wounded her all the same. No woman would like being the butt of raunchy jokes and sniggers, but for a woman like Victoria...
To Angelina he said, "McLain's mighty proud of his wife."
She spat on the ground. "If he cared about her, he wouldn't have come to me." She started to say that McLain hadn't been able to do it to his wife, but caution stilled her tongue. No man liked for it to be known that he'd failed so intimately; McLain would likely have her killed if she told.
"She's his wife, like Rubio's his stallion. What do you think he'd do if you let his stallion go, or if his wife left because of you?"
Angelina blinked her great dark eyes, for the first time realizing that her gloating triumph hadn't been very smart. She wasn't intelligent, but she was cunning in her self-interest. She remembered how the Major had bragged for months about the real Southern lady coming to marry him, and shivered, thinking of how brutal the Major could be at times, when it seemed as if he enjoyed sex more if he could hurt her in some way. She knew he liked to hurt her, and she didn't want to provide him with any excuses to do so.
Her lips trembled, and she moved closer to Roper. "Will she tell him?"
He was unmoved by her distress, for he'd noticed that she took advantage of her nearness to rub her breasts against his arm. "She might," he said to make her worry about it, and mounted his horse before she could rub anything else against him.
Roper shook his head at himself as he rode off. He was a hard man; he'd seen his father murdered, his mother raped and killed when he'd been only thirteen years old. Roper had killed his first man when he'd been fourteen, when the man had tried to rob the two boys of their pitiful store of food. For twenty years the brothers had worked for their revenge, biding their time, gathering money and making plans. Nothing had been allowed to stand in their way. Nothing had mattered but putting Frank McLain in the ground and reclaiming their heritage. Roper kept his nose out of other people's business and expected them to keep theirs out of his. That was why it was so out of character for him to interfere, and he'd done it twice in a matter of minutes, all for the same woman. What did he care if Garnet got in the little sister's bloomers? He'd never have interfered if Victoria hadn't tried to face Garnet down, but she had, and he hadn't been able to stand by and let Garnet abuse her. He was the one man on the ranch Garnet wouldn't stand up to, but now he'd have to watch his back every minute.
All for a woman. He'd had women since he was fifteen, but they were always casual encounters that had never meant more to him than the temporary easing of his sexual needs. He loved women, though he'd never been in love; he loved their softness, the sweet musky scent of their skin, their lighter voices and smaller bodies, the clinging of their hands around his strong neck and the way their legs locked around his hips, their soft cries as he gave them pleasure. He always tried to please his woman, no matter how casual the bedding; it was a reflection of his own strong, sure sexuality that he enjoyed the act more when the pleasure was mutual.
But of all those women, he'd never wanted one the way he wanted Victoria. It was more than physical, though God knew that was strong enough and getting stronger. He wanted to see her smile. He wanted to protect her. He didn't know what made her different, but she was. She was also forbidden to him. She was a lady, and the wife of his enemy. He had blood on his hands, and would have more: the blood of her husband.
He found that it didn't matter. He thought of the way she'd lifted her chin with evident pride even though she had just been slapped in the face with her husband's infidelity. He thought of the way she protected her sister, and of the way she looked him full in the face when so few people did. She was alone and vulnerable, trapped in an unhappy marriage, but she had courage.
Damn it, why didn't she go back to Augusta where she belonged? Maybe if she was out of his sight, he wouldn't think about her, and she couldn't threaten his plans.
Victoria went straight to her room and sat on the chaise, forcing herself to take slow, deep breaths to calm herself. She had never before felt so angry and humiliated. Gradually she realized that she was angry because of the humiliation, not because she had learned that her husband had been unfaithful. She didn't care that the Major had gone to another woman; in fact, she was grateful, if it would continue to keep him away from her.
But the public nature of his betrayal upset her deeply. He had gone to that---that whore---barely twenty-four hours after their wedding, and everyone on the ranch knew it. She wouldn't have believed Angelina's word, but she'd seen the truth in Roper's usually impassive eyes.
The house staff knew, of course. The ranch was a small world in itself, so insular that everyone knew what everyone else was doing. No wonder Carmita had been so solicitous this past week.
She was Victoria Madelyn Marie Waverly; her mother was a Creighton. She had learned that lineage and tradition counted for little without money behind it, but pride had been bred into her as surely as the aristocratic bones of her face. Her husband had offended her in a way that no woman could forgive, exposing her to public humiliation. She also had to live with the galling knowledge that she had no means of recourse. Her husband did not love her, did not desire her, so she had no power in his life. She could threaten to expose his impotence, but it wasn't in her nature to publicly humiliate him. So she could only sit and let the realization creep into her that she could do nothing. She would have to continue as if she didn't know anything about it and therefore force everyone else to ignore it, too, at least in her presence.
But she was still outraged at Angelina's presence on the ranch. Though now she understood the whispers she'd heard as a girl about men who had kept fancy women on the side, she knew that the mistresses and the wives were always kept well separated. Again, she would have to ignore it, for if she tried to force Angelina to leave, everyone would know that she was aware of her husband's infidelities and would think she was acting out of jealousy. To be thought jealous of her husband and that whore was unbearable, and so she would let things remain as they were.
A soft tap on her door distracted her, and Celia poked her head in. "I thought we were going to do the mending." There was no accusation in her voice, only puzzlement.
Victoria forcefully composed herself and patted the chaise. "Come sit with me for a moment." As difficult as it might prove to be, she knew she had to try to make Celia understand why she must stay away from Garnet, from any man who tried to touch her. Given the realities of the world they now lived in, Victoria knew this was a duty that could not wait.
Celia happily sat down beside her sister. She had something on her mind she wanted to ask her sister. She had complete faith in Victoria. She loved and trusted Emma, too, but it was her sister who had washed and bandaged her skinned knees, who had patiently answered all of her questions, soothed her after bad dreams, and returned her love unstintingly. She twirled a strand of her blond hair and mustered her courage. "Do you think the Major would let me ride Rubio? I so want to!"
Victoria was startled, and worried, because Celia often acted on her desires. "I don't think he would, darling. Rubio is a stallion, and stallions aren't used for pleasure riding. They're too strong-willed and dangerous."
"Mr. Roper rides him. I've seen him." Awe and envy mingled in Celia's tones.
Something deep in Victoria tingled at the mention of his name. "I'm sure he just rides Rubio to exercise him. And Mr. Roper is a man, sweetheart. He is much larger and stronger than you are."
Celia thought a minute, admitting the truth of that. But she wanted to ride Rubio so much that she couldn't let it go. "I'm a good rider, aren't I?"
"It's been a long time since any of us were on a horse." Another change wrought by war; all of the horses had been taken by the armies. "I suspect we're all sadly out of shape and practice, and you were just barely off of ponies when we lost the horses."
Celia looked so forlorn that Victoria hugged her and stroked her bright hair. "Would you like it if I asked the Major for horses we could use for pleasure riding? It would be good for us to get some exercise. Emma and I used to ride for hours." A faint wistful note crept into her own voice, and Celia immediately forgot her own disappointment as she rushed to give her own sort of comfort to Victoria.
Comfort took the form of a cheerful smile and a rush of enthusiasm. "Could you? I'd like that so much!"
"Then I'll ask the Major tonight." Victoria paused, trying to gather her thoughts. She still had to explain Garnet to Celia. She took a deep breath. "Sweetheart, I want to explain something very important to you."
Celia nodded, her expression becoming serious.
"Mr. Garnet---" She paused again, frowning a little. "Mr. Garnet is an evil man. He would like very much to hurt you. You must be careful. Don't let him touch you or catch you alone."
"Hurt me? How?" Celia still didn't look alarmed, merely interested.
Victoria had been afraid that Celia wouldn't take the warning at face value, but would want details. Finding the words was more difficult than she'd imagined. "There are---things---that a man can do to a woman that will hurt her."
Celia nodded. "Hitting hurts," she said.
"Yes, it does. And he might hit you, to make you do these other things that would hurt you even worse."
"What things?"
There was no way out of it. She inhaled deeply again. "He would pull up your skirt and touch you on---on your privates."
Celia jerked upright, her young face indignant. "I'll be damned!" she said. She'd heard one of the cowpunchers say that, and liked it. All of the best words were forbidden, it seemed, so she said them only in her head, but that one had slipped out in her surprise.
Victoria almost laughed. She knew she should scold, but she was too relieved at Celia's vehement reaction. "Yes," she said. "Exactly."
Celia was still huffy. "I'll hit him if he even speaks to me again," she declared.
"You must try your best not to be alone with him. And please be cautious with the other men, too. I don't trust some of them." It was an odd feeling, but some of the Major's employees seemed to be just what they were, cowhands, while others seemed---meaner, and somehow disassociated with ranch work.
"Mr. Roper?"
Again Victoria felt that funny little jolt, and an even funnier feeling spread behind it. "No," she said slowly. "I think you'd be very safe with Mr. Roper. He even warned Mr. Garnet to leave you alone."
Celia gave a decisive nod. "I like Mr. Roper."
Victoria hugged her sister again, feeling much better now that she knew Celia understood at least part of the danger. It was odd how safe she felt in telling Celia that Roper wouldn't harm her, would in fact protect her, when she herself didn't feel that safe with him. Her heart had begun pounding again. She remembered the hot smell of him, the hardness of his body when she had collided with him, the way his hands had held her. She felt weak and strangely warm. She would take her own advice and avoid him as much as possible.
The Major was in a good mood that night, and Victoria didn't betray by either word or manner that she had talked with Angelina. Instead, she listened to him talking expansively over dinner. She nodded and smiled at all the right places.
She waited patiently, and when the right time finally presented itself in a small pause, she said, "I've been thinking how much I'd love to start riding again. All of us would. Do you think you could select some nice mounts for us? You have some lovely horses, and I know you would make good choices. Though not, of course, if you need the horses for ranch work." Her face revealed none of her thoughts as she gave him a small smile, one that managed to be reserved despite its surface warmth. He wasn't sensitive enough to tell the difference and beamed at her compliment to his equine knowledge.
"Of course, my dear." He patted her hand. "I should have thought of it myself." He'd tell Roper to pick out three mounts suitable for ladies. No one on the ranch knew horses better than Roper.
Emma's quiet face had its own glow at the thought of riding again, and Celia all but bounced in her chair. "When I've practiced and I'm really good, may I ride Rubio?" she asked.
He laughed at her foolishness. "You'll never be strong enough to control Rubio," he said, boasting of the horse's strength. "You just stay with the quiet nags, and let the men handle Rubio."
Just as quickly as that the brightness was gone from her small face, but she didn't argue. Celia seldom argued about anything. She looked down at her plate and pretended to concentrate on her food.
For once Victoria was glad the Major was so heavy-handed, because she was terrified Celia would take it into her head to try to ride the stallion. She picked up her spoon again and thanked him for the use of the horses, then made a commonplace remark to Emma, who had been trained in the same social graces and immediately picked up the conversation.
McLain looked around him at the three genteel, pretty-mannered women, and swelled with pride.
Victoria knocked on Celia's door, but no one answered. Worried because her sister hadn't recovered her spirits all evening, she opened the door and looked in, expecting to find the girl soundly asleep. Her heart sank when she saw the empty bed. Quickly she crossed to Emma's room, hoping that Celia was visiting with their cousin. Her knock brought only a nightgown-clad Emma to the door.
"No, I haven't seen her. I thought she was in bed," Emma said in reply to Victoria's anxious query. "I'll get dressed."
Celia had a lifetime habit, when upset, of finding a hidey-hole and burrowing into it. The refuge had never been in her own bedroom, but always in a smaller, tighter place, as if she needed the security of closeness. In the past Victoria had never been alarmed, but they were no longer in their old home.
Emma reappeared in little more than a minute wearing a plain skirt and shirtwaist, with a shawl knotted around her shoulders and her hair haphazardly pinned. "Do you remember the time the two of you were visiting us, when we found her in the chicken coop?"
Celia had been all of three at the time, and brokenhearted because she had been scolded. At other times she had been found in the storm cellar, a closet, under a bed, or a buggy, burrowed in hay (again, when they were visiting Emma), and once, when she was small, under a washtub. After an hour or two she would emerge sunny-tempered again, so they had ceased to look for her unless she was actually wanted for something.
They swiftly searched the house and found nothing. Victoria even poked her head into the Major's room; he had gone out after dinner, so she knew he wasn't in there. Neither was Celia. Carmita and Lola were sitting around the kitchen table and Lola said that she hadn't seen the señorita since dinner.
"Perhaps she is talking to the... the---" Lola stopped, frowning as she tried to think of the English word she wanted.
"The man who sells things from his wagon," Carmita said.
"A tinker?" Victoria asked.
They both smiled at her. "Si," Carmita said, relieved. "The tinker."
"I didn't know a tinker was here."
"He arrived just before dark, señora. He and his daughter. They are spending the night."
Victoria and Emma looked at each other. A tinker, being new to Celia, might attract her like a cat to catnip. "Where is the tinker's wagon?" Emma asked.
"Next to the bunkhouse, señorita."
The bunkhouse, where the men slept. Victoria hurried out the door. It was unthinkable that any of them would attack Celia, yet at the same time she thought Garnet capable of anything. Unbidden the thought intruded of asking Roper for help, and she flinched from the idea as if it had stung her.
Emma kept pace beside her and they both slowed as they neared the bunkhouse, with the hulking shadow of the tinker's wagon beside it. Through the small window they could see the men sitting around a couple of small tables, or lying on their narrow cots. Nothing unusual seemed to be going on. Victoria was even more reassured to see Garnet playing cards at one of the tables. There was no one at all around the tinker's wagon.
"Let's separate," she said, keeping her voice low so the men wouldn't hear. "I'll look in the stables and barn."
"We didn't look in the courtyard; I'll go there, and check the blacksmith shed on the way." Briskly Emma set on her way, and Victoria turned in the other direction.
Now that she was alone, the darkness seemed oppressive. Her heart began to beat faster as she quietly approached the long stables and entered. Most of the stalls' occupants were dozing, though a couple of horses put their heads over the top rails and whickered at her. She patted their velvet noses as she passed by, reassuring them. It was too dark inside for her to see much more than their large dark shapes, but all of the stalls were occupied and there was nowhere else in the long, low building for Celia to find a nook. No, the barn was far more likely. The barn was also where Rubio was stabled, away from most of the other horses because of his tendency to fight.
She opened the barn door just enough to slip through, and this time her way was lighted by a single oil lamp hanging on a post at the far end, close to Rubio's stall. The stallion, though, was quiet. Victoria could hear him making small rustling sounds as he shifted his feet.
She also heard another sound, the words indistinguishable but the timbre soft and definitely female.
If Celia were in the stall with Rubio...
On no account must she startle the horse. She lifted her skirts to keep them from dragging on the straw and quietly slipped nearer to the small pool of light.
She heard a groan and more rustles. Then a man's voice, unmistakably deep. The woman again, this time sounding as if she were in pain.
A chill coursed through her entire body. Celia?
She went closer, and the rustling noises were louder. She was still in the black shadows when she realized they weren't coming from Rubio's stall, but from the opposite side of the barn, where there was a small, unused box stall. The edges of lamplight were just spilling through the open rails, and she edged still closer, her heart in her throat because she was afraid it was Celia. Yet she didn't rush forward, and when she was close enough to see into the box, she was glad she hadn't.
The first glance told her that the woman in the straw wasn't Celia; she had a mass of dark hair. Nor was it Angelina. She didn't know the woman. She felt relief, then shock as she realized exactly what she was seeing. Such were her own experiences with sex that she almost screamed, thinking the woman was being raped. Then another firestorm of recognition went through her, and she had to jam her fist against her mouth to keep from making an outcry anyway. She saw two things simultaneously. First, the woman, far from being raped, was clinging to the man and encouraging him with whimpering, pleading words in Spanish. And, second, the man was Jake Roper.
The knowledge was like a blow to the chest. Air left her lungs in a rush, and she could only hang there, unable to move or breathe. The most incredible, unreasonable hurt filled her, and she tried to turn away, to leave quietly. She didn't want to see this, couldn't bear it---
But her legs still wouldn't work. Her muscles were frozen, and she could only stare helplessly, taking in details she didn't want to see.
The woman was naked except for her skirt, which was twisted around her waist. Victoria could tell that much, even though the shadows cast by the single lamp covered the lower halves of their bodies. Roper's shirt was off, revealing a powerfully muscled torso that glistened with sweat as he moved over his partner, the muscles tightening and flexing with his movements. The woman was clinging to his broad shoulders, her head thrown back and her eyes closed. Victoria stared at Roper's face, which she could see better than the woman's. It was tense and concentrated with fierce sensuality.
The woman gave a low cry and thrashed wildly for a minute, locking Roper within the grip of her arms. He held her firmly and began moving even faster. Moments later a deep groan of pleasure sounded in his throat.
A sheen of tears blurred Victoria's vision, and she bit her lip to hold back a sob. The small pain in some way released her, and she took a step backward.
Like an animal scenting danger, Roper's head came up, and he stared right at her.
It was only a second, yet it lasted an eternity. His face was dripping with sweat, the skin still pulled taut in the immediate aftermath of orgasm, his eyes fierce and his hand already on the heavy pistol that lay next to him in the straw. Victoria stood with her fist held to her mouth, her eyes wide and glittering with tears. She knew that he saw her, even in the shadows. She knew she couldn't stand there another minute, pierced by that strange pain. Her limbs stiff, she forced herself to step more deeply into the shadows, one step at a time, until she could no longer see them. Finally she was able to turn and hurry from the barn, no longer caring about silence, wanting only to get away.
Infuriated, strangely shaken, Roper lifted himself from the woman and hitched his pants back up. She was still lying on the straw, her lush breasts glistening with sweat. Those breasts had excited him just a short time ago, but now all he wanted was to get away from her, and she deserved better than that. Damn it, he couldn't even remember her name. She'd made it plain, from the moment the tinker's wagon had pulled in, that she was interested in him. He'd taken her at her word. It was just a little diddling, not meaning anything to either of them except for the physical relief.
But Victoria had seen them. He thought grimly that the sex she'd had with the Major was probably starched and restrained, done in the dark with her nightgown pulled up only as much as was necessary. She had probably never dreamed of such things as nearly naked bodies rolling in the hay, sweating and straining toward completion.
Thinking of what she'd seen made him feel ashamed. He tried to push the unfamiliar emotion away, but it stubbornly refused to go. Damn, he wished it hadn't happened, wished Victoria hadn't had that stricken look in her eyes, wished that he could go after her and explain that it didn't mean anything. He wondered if she would understand that, or if she'd even care. But she'd looked at him as if he'd hurt her in some way she barely understood, and he was powerless to comfort her.
The woman---what was her name? something like Florence---was languorously sitting up, her face still dreamy. Not Florence... Florida? Fiorina, that was it. She stretched, lifting her arms to better frame her heavy breasts with their dark brown nipples, and eyed him with a kittenish sort of sensuality that made him feel hemmed in. He ignored her unspoken invitation for even further dallying and stuffed his shirttail into his pants.
"You'd better get on back to the wagon before your father misses you," he said in a flat tone.
She pouted, but began cleaning herself. "He is already drunk and asleep."
"He might wake up."
"Even if he did, he wouldn't care."
Roper strongly suspected that her "father" wasn't related to her at all, but it meant nothing to him one way or another. People got by as best they could. When she had dressed, he assisted her to her feet, gave her a kiss, patted her on her round bottom, then sent her on her way. As soon as she was out of sight, a black frown settled on his face.
Damn it to hell!
Victoria ran to the house, panting and near tears. Just before she reached it, Emma came to meet her.
"I found her," Emma reported, her tone amused. "She wasn't in a hidey-hole at all, she was in the courtyard counting stars."
Victoria forcibly regained control of herself and blinked the stupid tears away. Why on earth was she crying? It had been something of a shock, of course, seeing that, but nothing tragic. She wrenched her mind back to Celia, and received another shock when she realized that she'd forgotten her. It wasn't like her at all to be less than conscientious, and the lapse bothered her almost as much as what she had seen.
She took a couple of deep breaths to calm herself, gratefully aware that Emma would think her state of upset due to Celia. "Sometimes," she managed to say in a painfully even tone of voice, "I'd like to shake her."
Emma chuckled, and hooked her arm through Victoria's. "If you did, you'd spend the next month making it up to her, so there's no point in it," she said cheerfully. "Celia is Celia."
Victoria knew that. Celia never changed, thank God. But when she sought the sanctuary of her room a little later, Victoria stared at her own pale, oval face and wondered why the changes inside hadn't shown themselves on the outside. She still looked much as she had at the age of sixteen, but now she had known war and hunger, desperation, a loss of dreams, and the ugliness of a man's sexuality. For a moment, thinking of the horrible touch of the Major's hands, she felt nauseated again. Then another picture intruded, and the nausea changed to a moan of pain.
Jake Roper. His body rippling with muscles in the dim light and his hard face taut with pleasure. That woman's hands clinging to his shoulders, her head thrown back in ecstasy. For all the violence and power of their coupling, there had been a gentleness in the way he'd handled the woman.
Victoria buried her head in her hands. God, she was so foolish! Roper was nothing but a hired killer, she had had a few moments conversation with him, had briefly felt his body against hers in an accidental collision, and she was jealous---jealous! But not of him, she fiercely told herself. Never of him! She, a Waverly and a Creighton, was jealous of a tinker's daughter for the pleasure in her life. That wasn't much better, but she could bear that thought easier than the other.
She heard the Major moving about in his room, and she froze in dread that the connecting door would open. When the seconds passed and the door remained closed, she slowly relaxed and began to get ready for bed.
But when she was lying between the cool sheets, she couldn't sleep. She couldn't get the picture of Roper out of her mind; every time she closed her eyes, she saw his muscled body surging rhythmically. So that was exactly what went on between men and women. That was what the Major had tried to do to her. Knowing the basics hadn't enabled her to picture the scene in her mind, but now she could.
Her heartbeat was slow and heavy. Her body felt weighted down, and hot. She wondered how she would feel if it were Roper in the next room, Roper who opened the connecting door. She would lie there in bed waiting for him, and her body would feel as it did now, heavy and waiting. Again she saw him with that woman, but the picture changed and she was the woman clinging to him.
She turned onto her side, aghast at what she had been thinking. A lady never even thought such things about her husband; to think them about another man was scandalous. But her body ached, and she pressed her thighs tightly together in an effort to find relief from the shameful feeling. Her eyes burned with tears again. Damn Jake Roper!
Jake Roper damned himself. He lay in his bunk listening to the snores of the sleeping men around him and stared at the ceiling. He had made two serious mistakes, and now he had to deal with them. First, he should never have allowed Victoria Waverly to marry McLain. He could easily have had her kidnapped on the way and held her until he'd finished his business with the Major, but hindsight was as useless as it was clear. Or he could have killed McLain before Victoria arrived, and solved a lot of problems. Instead he had chosen to wait for his moment, to stay true to the plan he and Ben had decided on. Now it was too late to keep Victoria out of it.
His second mistake was in letting her get under his skin.
It wasn't as if she'd even tried. She wasn't a flirt; she was as straitlaced as a nun. She'd probably slap his face if he tried to kiss her. He grinned a little as he thought about it, though the grin was wry because he knew he was going to try it very soon. After what she had seen that night, he'd be lucky if she didn't claw him like a wildcat.
First chance he got, he was going to send a telegram to Ben and tell him to gather the rest of the men and head toward the ranch. But it could be a few weeks before he could get to Santa Fe and another month to six weeks before Ben could get here. Say, two months. Two months left until the culmination of twenty years of planning. The broad valley, once known as Sarratt's Kingdom and now simply as Kingdom Valley, would be Sarratt property once again, returned to its rightful owners---
---if he could convince Victoria to marry him. Force her, if necessary.
Damn it, he should have prevented the wedding, but he hadn't realized the implications until it was too late. With McLain dead, the kingdom would belong to his widow, Victoria. The only way to bring it back under Sarratt ownership was to marry her, as a woman's property became her husband's. So Jake would have to marry her.
It was amazing that one young woman could, with her mere presence, wreck twenty years of planning. Not that those plans hadn't changed a lot over the years anyway. As boys, their dreams of revenge had been wholesale destruction of McLain and all his men, of everyone living on the ranch. But as they had grown older, the plan had changed. There were no doubt innocent people living on the ranch, people who had had no part in McLain's treachery, people who had begun working there only after the slaughter and had no idea what had happened. For all their grim focus on revenge, the Sarratts weren't murderers. Killing McLain and his men was one thing, more like killing rabid dogs than taking a human life. But years had passed and there had to be new people hired, servants, women, maybe even children. An attack like the one McLain had used wasn't feasible to them any longer.
Twenty years. They had drifted for twenty years, not aimlessly, though it might have looked that way. Anywhere they could find work, they had taken it and begun saving their money dollar by hard-earned dollar. They had dug in mines, hired out their guns, worked as ordinary cowhands. Jake had trained horses, Ben had gambled, using their own particular skills. They knew they would need money to implement their evolving plan.
So twenty years had passed. He was thirty-three now, not a thirteen-year-old boy wild with grief and rage. The rage still burned, but it was under control. An eye for an eye... he didn't want McLain's eyes, he wanted his blood for his father's blood, his mother's blood. The bastard was living in the Sarratt house, sleeping in Duncan Sarratt's bedroom, walking daily across the tiled foyer where he had raped and killed Elena. It ate at Jake, seeing McLain walk into that house every night. Only his iron control kept him from getting out of bed and walking across to the house right now. It would be so easy; he could climb the stairs, go into the bedroom, and lay his gun barrel against McLain's temple. A little squeeze of the finger, and it would be over. But it would probably be over for him, too, and that wasn't his plan. He and Ben were going to own the valley again, so it had to be legal. Not only that, he was reluctant to see Victoria in bed with McLain; the very thought made him angry, and sick.
The plan they had settled on was for Jake to hire on at the ranch, find out how many men were left from the original bunch that had attacked them, and who they were. While he was doing that, Ben would be hiring good men they could trust, men who were standing ready to assume their new jobs. When Jake had arrived and seen the situation, he knew they'd have to replace a good two-thirds of the hired hands. The hired guns would go; Jake had no use for them. He didn't expect any of them to interfere, as they had no real loyalty to McLain. He also figured about half of the regular cowpunchers would drift away, for their own reasons. Some wouldn't like working for the Sarratts; some would be afraid too much attention would be turned on the ranch, and they would want to remain unknown. Jake didn't question a man's motives; he had some things in his background that couldn't stand too much light on them, either.
So Ben had men standing ready to take up the jobs that would be left vacant, and Jake had identified the men who had taken part in the raid. Charlie Guest had been one of them, and Jake had enjoyed killing him. He'd deliberately done it in a manner that was sure to make the others wary of him. That left five: McLain, Garnet, Jake Quinzy, Wendell Wallace, and Emmett Pledger. Wendell was going on seventy and was almost blind, so Jake discounted him as a threat. Garnet was a back-shooter. Quinzy wouldn't turn a hair at much, but neither would he put his life on the line for McLain or Garnet. Quinzy looked out for himself first. Pledger, on the other hand, was mad-dog mean and cold-blooded into the bargain, willing to kill for the pleasure of it.
When McLain had murdered the Sarratts and stolen the ranch, the only form of law had been the United States Army, which had more than had its hands full with the Navaho and the Mexican Army. Law had existed only in the immediate vicinity of the army, and then only army law. General Kearny hadn't concerned himself with the small, bloody wars being fought all over the vast new territory for control of huge tracts of land. McLain was as smart as he was murderous; first he'd killed the Sarratts, then legally filed on the land.
It was supposed to have been just as simple for the Sarratts. Kill McLain and take over the land. He'd had no heirs; the land would have reverted to the government and been available for filing. This time it would be the Sarratts doing the filing.
It would even be legal. There was no law against killing a man in a fair fight. Jake allowed himself his own cold smile when he thought of it. With his own men in place to protect him from a bullet in the back, he'd face them one by one in a gunfight. Until the end of the war there had been no such thing as a quick draw, but with thousands of ex-soldiers pouring westward it was a skill that had quickly developed within the past year. Hell, McLain's holster still had a flap on it. Jake had cut the flap off of his and practiced for hours to develop both speed and accuracy. McLain wouldn't stand a chance. The only one who came close to him in speed was Quinzy, but he tended to hurry his shot and often missed the first time. Pledger was more accurate, but slow. Garnet was respectable in both speed and accuracy, but Jake was faster and he knew it. He should be able to take them all without trouble. If not, Ben would finish the job.
Only now the ranch would belong to Victoria.
He wondered what he'd have done if McLain's chosen wife had been ugly or ill-tempered or a whiny idiot. He couldn't kill an innocent woman, but he didn't think he could force himself to marry a woman like that, either. Victoria, on the other hand, was just right to be the mistress of Sarratt's Kingdom. He hated to admit it, but McLain had chosen well. She was a lady, she had courage, and she didn't simper.
Marriage wasn't such a bad idea. He'd never considered it before, but once he and Ben had the kingdom back, it would be time to settle down anyway. Jake figured Victoria would do for him, circumstances being what they were.
Victoria sat upright with a jerk, clutching the sheet to her chin while her body went cold. The Major stood in the open door, outlined by the light coming from his room. Dear God, she couldn't bear it again...
"I been thinking," he announced, his words slurred, and with horror she realized he was drunk. She could smell the stench of alcohol from across the room.
" 'Bout them horses you and the other gals want. Ain't no horses on the ranch fittin' for ladies, they're all work horses 'cept for Rubio. We'll go into Santa Fe to buy some fancy ridin' horses, and maybe find some of them fancy saddles ladies use. That's what we'll do, we'll go to Santa Fe, and let all those bastards get an eyeful of my womenfolk."
He laughed and lurched farther into the room. "They'll be so jealous they can't stand it," he predicted, and seemed to take great pleasure from the thought. "Yessir, when they find out you three ladies are up here, I'll have men from all over the territory sniffin' around. Not no trash, mind you, but men who mean something, and they'll all be beggin' to court them other two gals, especially that fancy little sister of yourn---yours," he corrected himself, and laughed again. "We'll leave in the morning. I can't wait to see their tongues hangin' out like hound dogs in a pack."
He took another step toward her, and suddenly she knew that she'd do anything, even run screaming from the house, to prevent him touching her again.
"If we're leaving in the morning, we'll have to get up early," she said, fear making her voice sharp. "We need all the sleep we can get. I'll see you tomorrow, Major, bright and early."
He stopped, weaving back and forth on his feet. She waited, holding her breath. Then he said, "We need sleep. Good thinkin', sugar. You ladies need to rest a lot, you ain't used to life on a ranch, or on a trail, either."
"Good night," she said, and lay back down, tucking the sheet around her. Then she bit her lip and called, "Major?" as he turned to go. "I---thank you for the horses. It's very generous of you."
"Nothin's too good for my wife," he said with heavy self-satisfaction.
It wasn't until he'd left the room and closed the door behind him that she relaxed. She didn't know if he had intended to try again to bed her, but just having him that close had been almost more than she could bear. If he had actually tried to do to her what she had seen Roper doing to that woman---
The remembered image flashed in her mind again, tormenting her. Damn him! Why should she care what he did? "I don't," she whispered into the darkness, and knew that she lied. God help her, she did care. She was horrified by the admittance. She was married; Jake Roper and every other man, except her husband, was forbidden to her. There were only two classes of women, good women and bad women. For a woman to consort with any man except her husband, in any way except socially, was for her to cross the line between good and bad. For her even to think of Jake Roper in such a manner was sinful.
But propriety had given her a husband she despised, and sin or not she couldn't rid her mind of the insidious weakness of thought that brought to the fore, again and again, Jake's form and narrowed, glittering green eyes.
She hated him. He made her lust, and she hated him for it. Lust was an ugly, shameful thing, but she was beginning to know its power. It made her feel hot and restless, her body heavy and aching; it kept her from sleep and tore at her conscience. Because she couldn't handle it any other way, she took her desperation and formed it into resentment against the man who had, without even trying, brought her to this pass. How he would laugh, in that sneering way, if he knew!
After leaving Victoria, McLain stood in his bedroom, swaying a little as he thought. He'd been drinking, so maybe that was why he'd had the thought that this time he'd be able to get hard if he tried it with her again. He shuddered, remembering the two times he had tried. By God, no way he'd risk that again.
But he needed a woman, something to keep him from going to sleep and having that damn nightmare again. It was coming more and more often lately, robbing him of sleep and wearing him down.
Angelina. He snickered at the thought of having to kick another cowhand out of her room. Hell, what did he care? He liked the idea of making another man crawl off of her so he could crawl on. Showed 'em who was boss.
He quietly left his bedroom, taking exaggerated care that he didn't slam the door. The house was dark and he held onto the banister to keep from stumbling over his own rather unsteady feet. Just as he reached the bottom step he saw a flash of white out of the corner of his eye, and terror chilled him. He could feel his scalp prickling as his hair lifted. Sarratt was back! The flashing knife---maybe it was a ghost---
Then the white moved again and he saw that it was a woman in a nightgown, moving past the doorway of the dining room, walking toward the kitchen. His terror changed immediately to anger against whoever had scared him like that, and Angelina was forgotten as he walked toward the dining room.
"Who's there?" he snapped. By God, he'd teach her to wander around like that at night, scaring him. It was one of those Mex women, probably Carmita; she was always poking her nose in every cranny of the house.
The woman was already in the kitchen. She came back to the doorway just as he entered the dining room. "Señor?" she asked in a timid voice.
Now that they were in the same room, he could see her well enough to identify her. It was Juana, the young one. Her long dark hair was streaming down her back. The plain white nightgown was long-sleeved and high-necked, but his eyes narrowed as he looked her over.
He'd been intending to give her hell, but abruptly changed his mind. "What're you up to, gal?" he asked in a smooth tone as he approached. "Walking around in the dark like this."
Juana took a step back. "I'm sorry, señor," she blurted. Her dark eyes looked huge in the faint light. "I was going back to my room."
"What were you doin'?" he demanded. "Maybe slippin' out to meet some cowhand?"
She vigorously shook her head. "No, señor. I---I carried a book back to your study. I read them, sometimes. I apologize, señor, I won't get one again without your permission."
"Forget the damn books," he said, his tone becoming thicker. He put his hand in her hair, twisting the heavy dark locks around his wrist. "You can read all the books you want if you'll be nice to me."
Juana tried to draw back. "Señor?" she asked in a quavering voice.
"You know what I mean." He jerked her to him and ground his mouth over hers. Terrified, Juana raised her fists and began to pound at him, but her efforts were useless. He had the strength of a bull.
He laughed soundlessly at her as he clamped his hand over her mouth and forced her down to the floor. "If you scream, I'll throw you and your nosy mother off the ranch." He grunted as he unbuttoned his britches and jerked up her nightgown. Juana tried to hit him again, and he balled up his fist and hit her in the head. She whimpered with pain.
He kneed her legs apart and thrust into her. She bucked once, then lay still. She was dry, but he kinda liked that; made her feel tighter. He'd wanted to do this for a long time; he thought of the Mexican servants as belonging to him anyway. Now the pleasure was doubled for him because he was so relieved to find he still had the power and virility to force a woman, even if he couldn't force his wife.
When he was finished, McLain climbed off and nudged Juana with his boot. "You say anything about this, gal, and you'll regret it." Feeling satisfied that his threat would keep her in line, he returned upstairs and fell into bed. Angelina could wait.
Whimpering, Juana curled into a ball. The pain in her lower body was so bad she could barely move, and her head was throbbing. It was over an hour before she could get up, and then she walked like an old woman, bent over and hobbling. At night, she noticed, blood looked black.
Jake looked both left and right as he left the telegraph office, but saw no one he knew. As capital of the territory, Santa Fe was bursting at the seams and no one paid any attention to one more dusty cowhand. The streets were crowded with bonneted women, men in blue army uniforms, prosperous merchants in their tailored suits, rough ranchers, shopkeepers, saloon bartenders, politicians, children darting and playing, and untold numbers of dusty cowhands. He was hidden in their swarming midst.
He settled his hat lower on his forehead to shade his eyes and began walking up the street. It was past
About twenty horses were milling about in two adjoining corrals. Celia was perched on the railing with her bonnet dangling down her back by its strings, and enthusiastically pointing out the horses she liked. From what he could tell, she had narrowed her favorites down to about half of the herd. Victoria and Emma were standing a little back from the fence, watching the horses and occasionally asking questions of the beefy man standing beside them, who evidently owned the herd. McLain was leaning on the railing with Garnet beside him. Several more McLain men were close by.
Emma pointed. "I like that one," she said decisively, and McLain signaled that her choice be separated from the herd.
Jake looked the horse over. It was a stocky, strong-looking gray gelding with calm eyes, and it didn't fidget when it was cut from the herd. For a lady's mount, it was a good choice. When the Major noticed he'd arrived and caught his eye, Jake nodded his approval.
Celia squealed, and Jake saw Victoria give her sister a loving, amused look. "This one!" Celia called, pointing to a showy chestnut with cream-colored mane and tail.
The beefy man transferred his chew of tobacco from one cheek to the other. "He's not real well-mannered, miss," he said gruffly.
Jake walked up beside Celia and rested his arms on the top railing while he looked over the horses. "What you want," he said in a quiet voice, "is a horse with good strong legs and one that don't look like it'll shy every time a rabbit crosses its trail." The girl loved horses, but from what he'd seen she hadn't had much experience with them. She was attracted to the fancy-colored animals regardless of their temperament, but what she needed more than anything was a horse with a placid disposition.
He pointed out a dark brown horse with one white stocking. "Now, look at that horse," he said. "It's got good strong shoulders and legs, and a deep chest. That means it's got good lungs. That horse could carry you all day and all night without getting tired." It was also as calm as the horse Emma had selected.
Celia tilted her head a little to the side as she studied the animal. "He isn't very pretty," she said.
"It's a mare," Jake corrected. He looked at the beefy man. "How about bringing that dark brown mare with the stocking up so the lady can meet her."
A simple rope bridle was fashioned on the mare's nose, and she willingly walked over to snuffle at Celia's shoes and skirts before nuzzling at her hand. Celia giggled, a sound like liquid sunlight, and stroked the mare's neck.
"She's dusty, but a good brushing will make her shine," Jake said.
The mare blew through her nose, sounding as if she agreed, and Celia was won. She turned a beaming smile on Jake. "I want this one," Celia said, still patting her new friend's neck.
Jake glanced at Victoria and caught her watching him. For the first time she didn't jerk her eyes away as if she couldn't bear to see him. Pushing it, Jake walked up to her and tipped his hat. "Mrs. McLain. Miss Emma."
Victoria was a little pale, but she met his gaze. "Thank you," she said in a low voice, nodding toward Celia.
"No thanks needed, ma'am. Do you need any help picking out your own horse, or have you already made up your mind?"
Victoria had, but she looked blindly at the horses again. He was standing so close that she could feel his warmth at her shoulder.
"Let Roper pick one out for you," McLain said. "He knows his horses."
"I already know which one I want. The tall mare with the blaze. The dark chestnut." She felt stifled by Roper's nearness and stepped forward until she reached the railing.
To her dismay Jake moved forward, too, under the guise of looking for the mare. His left shoulder crowded her and immediately he put his left hand on her waist. "Steady, ma'am," he said, as if she had stumbled.
He took his time removing his hand. He was standing between her and the Major, blocking her from McLain's view with his own body. Victoria shuddered and stepped sideways. Her skin burned where he had touched her.
The beefy man transferred his chew again, eyeing the mare in question. "I don't know, ma'am. She's only about half broke to the saddle, and tends to be a touch headstrong."
Jake looked at the mare and his eyes narrowed with interest. No doubt about it, that was a damn fine horse. She was big for a mare, as big as most stallions, and she had fire in her eyes. She was strongly built, but her lines suggested speed, too.
He rubbed his jaw. "How old is she?"
"Three. Ain't never been bred."
"Too wild looking," McLain announced. "I don't want my wife risking her neck on some half-wild nag."
Victoria pressed her lips together and looked away. Jake realized she wouldn't argue with McLain, just as he realized she badly wanted the mare. He rubbed his jaw again and motioned with his head for McLain to walk a little bit away with him.
"That mare is a fine-looking piece of horseflesh. Just look at her. Tall and strong, and full of piss and vinegar. Think of the foals you'd get by putting Rubio on her."
McLain thought and looked at the mare again. His eyes gleamed. "That's an idea, Roper. I'll buy her, but pick out some other nag for Victoria."
"Why not give this one to her? She's in love with the horse. She'd think a whole lot more of this one than any other horse here, and be more appreciative."
"You heard the man, the damn horse ain't good broke."
"Hell, that's no problem. I can have her settled down in a couple of weeks. All of them will need work with a sidesaddle anyway, before they'll be fit to ride."
McLain pursed his lips, watching the mare toss her head. Roper was right; that was a fine-looking animal. He almost rubbed his hands together in glee as he thought of the quality of foals she'd drop. He was going to buy that horse, but putting Victoria on her was something else.
"I don't know," he said. "Victoria's a lady, not a Mexican wench who'll throw her leg over a donkey. She might not be able to handle a horse like that."
Jake's eyes gleamed and he turned his head so McLain couldn't see. "Let me work with Mrs. McLain, and I'll have her the best damned horsewoman in the territory. Buy her one of those fancy riding habits like the women wear back East, and people all over will talk about her and that mare."
If there was anything that swayed McLain, it was the idea of someone else envying him. He laughed heartily and said, "By God, that would be a picture, wouldn't it? All right, Roper, you teach that mare some manners and my wife how to ride."
He'd said it loud enough for Victoria to hear, and she blanched. My God, what had Roper said to him? She already knew how to ride! There was no need for Roper to give her any lessons. But she didn't say anything, because the most important thing was that the Major was going to buy the mare. She had been fond of the horse she had regularly rode before the war, but something about this magnificent animal tugged at her. The mare was as fierce and arrogant as any stallion, not flashy, but confident in her own strength and speed. She had heart, and Victoria wanted to share in her freedom. When they got back to the ranch she would make it plain that she didn't need any riding lessons.
She was still exhausted from the bone-crushing journey, as they had only arrived in Santa Fe the day before. Moreover, they had been invited to a party at the governor's house that night. She needed both to rest and to escape from Roper's company. "It's getting late, Major. We need to return to the hotel to get dressed for the party."
The Major checked his watch and scowled. "Damn. I need to see someone this afternoon. Roper, escort the ladies back to the hotel. Garnet, you come with me."
She inhaled to voice a protest, then let her breath out with rueful acceptance. For whatever reason, fate was conspiring against her in her efforts to avoid Roper. All she could do was be so gracious that no one would suspect how his presence disturbed her.
His eyes gleamed dark green as he took her elbow in his right hand and Emma's in his left, as if he knew of her discomfort and enjoyed it. Celia danced along behind, beside, and in front of them, her bright presence masking Victoria's silence. Emma made the usual small talk, leading Victoria to wonder if no one but Roper saw her agitation. Did she hide it so well, even from Emma?
The hotel was three stories tall, and the Major had booked their rooms on the top floor so they wouldn't be bothered by the coming and going of the other guests. Emma and Celia shared a room next door to Victoria's room, and beyond that was the Major's. Victoria was devoutly thankful that there was no connecting door. She had slept better in the hotel room than she had since the day she'd been married.
Emma and Celia entered their room first, and Victoria firmly disengaged her arm from Roper's grip.
"Thank you for your escort, Mr. Roper," she said in polite dismissal as she retrieved her door key from her bag.
"You're very welcome, Mrs. McLain," he replied in solemn tones. He took the key from her and opened the door, then put his hand on her back and forcefully ushered her inside.
Victoria whirled to see him shutting the door and locking it again, from the inside. Her heart lurched as she faced him. "Please leave, now, and I won't say anything about this."
He took off his hat and ran his hand through his dark hair. "About what, Mrs. McLain?" he asked softly.
"About---this. Forcing your way into my room."
"Have I touched you? Insulted you? Kissed you?"
Her heartbeat was even faster now. Her palms were damp, and she put her hands behind her back. "No," she whispered. Something occurred to her, and she lifted her chin. "You're doing this for revenge, aren't you? Because I---I accidentally intruded the other night in the barn. I apologize, Mr. Roper. It was completely unintentional."
A corner of his mouth kicked up in a little smile. "You sure got an eyeful, didn't you? But you must have liked what you saw, because you didn't leave, you stood there until the end."
She blushed painfully, and he gave a low laugh. How could she explain that she'd been frozen, unable to move? She couldn't tell him how pain had lanced through her or how fiercely jealous she had been.
"I've got a deal to offer you," he said, watching her intently. "I won't say anything around the ranch about you watching me with Fiorina if you'll give me that kiss you're so terrified I'll take." He knew the risk he was running by being in her room, but he couldn't pass up the opportunity to have her to himself for just a few minutes. Let her start getting used to the idea that there was something between them, and accustom her to his lovemaking.
Now she went pale, and for a minute she felt as if she might faint. "You---you want me to kiss you?"
"Yes, ma'am, I do. I've never had a lady kiss me before. I want to know if you taste any different, if your lips are softer." He looked as if he were wickedly enjoying her agitation. "I want a long, slow, mouth to mouth kiss."
"I'm married!"
He shrugged. "So?"
So, indeed? She looked at him wildly. Did all men feel that way about the marriage vows? Her husband had broken his easily enough. Kissing Roper wouldn't be infidelity in act, but it would be in spirit. She thought of the distasteful way the Major had put his mouth on hers, but the thought of kissing Roper like that wasn't distasteful at all. It was deeply, primitively exciting and it frightened her because she should never even think such a thing, let alone act on it.
"I can't," she whispered.
He smiled again, and she shivered. "Oh, I think you can," he murmured, slowly advancing. "Just think of what the men would say if they knew you had watched. They'd get a real hoorah out of it, and they'd laugh every time they saw you."
She backed up a step. "Mr. Roper---"
"Jake."
"You don't know what you're asking of me. I---"
"I think I do." He moved again, his hand shooting out to catch her arm and prevent her from retreating further. "I'm asking you to kiss me the way a woman kisses a man. Nothing else. Just a kiss."
She couldn't believe how hot his hands were. If he were that warm all over, what would it feel like if he---She jerked her thoughts to a standstill, appalled at herself. She stared up at him.
"That's all?" she whispered. "Just a kiss."
"That's all."
"It's blackmail."
"Yes."
It was sinful and she knew it, but sin has been sweet from the beginning of time. The temptation to taste him was so powerful she was shaking with it, and it was forbidden. She was a respectable married lady; she should cleave only unto her husband---
---who cleaved unto any cheap slut who would have him.
She felt paralyzed, mesmerized. His eyes were glittering down at her, so close that she could see the tiny golden striations around the black iris, blending into forest green tinged with blue. She could feel his breath on her face and knew that, sin or not, she was going to let him kiss her.
His left hand slid around the small of her back and urged her closer. Immediately Victoria's hands flew up to clutch his biceps in faint alarm and protest, but she said nothing. The swell of his muscles under her palms left her unwillingly beguiled and weaker than she wanted to be.
He pulled her closer, inch by inch, until their bodies touched. Victoria inhaled a quick breath, shattering inside at the powerful intimacy of this simple contact. He was so warm and hard, his muscled body supporting hers; he held her so close that she could feel the buttons of his shirt digging into her breast, the buckle of his gunbelt cutting into her abdomen, and his strong thighs rubbing against hers through the fabric of her skirt and petticoats.
Her heart was slamming painfully against her rib cage as she waited, then he bent his head. His mouth, warm and firm, touched hers for a moment, then lifted. Was that all? She felt faint with relief that it had been as uncomplicated as that, though still very improper.
He frowned down at her. "Not like that."
"Like what?"
"That wasn't the kind of kiss I want."
She stared at him. "What other kind is there?"
He looked momentarily startled, then his eyes narrowed. It was possible, he realized. Women like her thought they should endure rather than participate. McLain certainly wasn't a man to make her realize she should enjoy it. Roper was going to enjoy making this aspect of her education about life in the West his responsibility.
He cupped her jaw in his right hand. "Open your mouth this time," he ordered.
She looked aghast. "Open my---"
He quickly took advantage of the opportunity and covered her parted lips with his own. She made a quick sound of panic in her throat and tried to jerk away from him, but he locked his arm around her waist.
Victoria stared up at him with wide, frightened eyes. She sensed violence in him, as if he wanted more from her and was determined to get it. He had said just a kiss; had she been a fool to believe it would stop at that? She pushed against his arms in a futile effort at escape.
His right hand tightened on her jaw and his hard fingers exerted heavy pressure on her chin. Against her will, she felt her clenched teeth part and suddenly his tongue was inside her mouth. Shocked, astounded, she froze, and in that moment of immobility she became aware of his mouth moving over hers, of the warm stroke of his tongue inside her mouth. A strange heat began moving through her body, weakening her so that she had to cling to his arms to even stand upright. Both the heat and the weakness were insidious, creeping through her to undermine both her determination to keep this under control and her certainty that she could. In his embrace, with his mouth on hers, she was certain of nothing but the growing upheaval of her senses. This pleasure was wicked, and increasingly seductive. Her eyes drifted shut.
She had expected to give him one kiss, but that wasn't what happened. His mouth returned to hers over and over again, and both of his arms were around her now, crushing her to him. If she had ever had control of this situation, it was gone now.
He could have done anything with her, and she would have been helpless to stop him. Only the abrupt intrusion of someone pounding on the door made him swiftly release her and step back.
Victoria swayed, and panic shot through her as she realized someone had caught Roper in her room with her. She went white. If it was the Major---She couldn't finish the thought, because it was too horrible to contemplate.
Roper moved swiftly to the door, his right hand on his pistol butt.
"Wait!" Victoria said in an agonized whisper.
He gave her a brief glance. "It's next door," he said sharply. "Some drunk is trying to get into your sister's room." He opened the door and stepped into the hall.
Victoria flew to the doorway just as Roper said, "You planning on beating that door down, Pledger?"
Victoria recognized the man, though she'd never spoken with him. He'd been surly all the way to Santa Fe, and the other men hadn't associated with him much. His eyes had the mean look of a vicious dog, and she had unconsciously avoided him. Too late she realized the mistake she was making in letting him see her with Roper.
He turned on Roper with a snarl, but when his gaze lit on Victoria his lips twisted into a nasty smile. "I do declare," he mocked. "Playing patty-cake with the boss's wife? Bet he'd be real interested to know that, wouldn't you say?"
Jake considered the situation, and his eyes narrowed. It couldn't be much better, just him and Pledger facing each other. He could kill the bastard now just as well as later. Now that he'd sent the telegram to Ben and his brother was on his way, there was really no reason to wait. In fact, there was no way he could let Pledger walk away, not after he'd seen Jake come out of Victoria's room.
Smiling a little, Jake moved closer to the man. "Why don't you go to the saloon and hire a whore to scratch your itch," he suggested softly. "Leave the ladies alone."
Pledger hooted. "Just like you did, Roper? I've always wanted me some of that refined stuff. You just go back to diddlin' the boss's wife, and I'll try out that purty little sister, and neither of us will say nothin' about the other. How about that, pard?" He sneered and spat on the floor at Roper's feet.
Roper was smiling. Victoria saw it only from the side, just a small curl of the lips, but it chilled her. She stood in the doorway, watching with a sort of horrified fascination.
Jake's walk was easy and relaxed, so relaxed that Pledger didn't react until it was too late. "Stop right there," he said, and moved his hand toward his gun butt. Just as the last word left his mouth Jake kicked him between the legs, holding back just enough on the kick that Pledger wasn't felled. As it was, he sagged to the side, gagging as he grabbed his crotch.
Pledger straightened painfully, his eyes wild in a white face. "You son of a bitch," he said, and grabbed for his gun.
He had just cleared leather when Jake's first slug punched a hole in his chest and slammed him backward against the wall. Reflex jerked Pledger's finger on the trigger and for the second time the narrow hall shuddered from the thunder of gunfire. Pledger's bullet went through the floor and lodged in a wall on the second story.
His eyes, already glazing, were full of hate as he slid sideways to the floor.
Jake held him in his sights, hammer already cocked back again. If Pledger so much as twitched, the second slug would be between his eyes. No way was he going to live to say as much as a single word to anyone.
But Pledger's last breath sighed out of him as his pants stained with the release of his bladder. Jake eased the hammer down on his gun.
Emma and Celia had been too frightened to open their door before, but the sound of gunfire followed by that immense silence stirred Emma to action. She jerked the door open and stared in confusion at Roper, then down at Pledger. "Oh, God," she said.
Celia's frightened face poked out beside her, and the girl's beautiful eyes rounded with shock when she saw Pledger's body.
Jake turned his head and looked at Victoria, who was still frozen in the doorway. Their eyes met, his hard and green, hers almost gray with shock. In that moment she was more frightened of him than she had been of Pledger.
They had no time to say anything. Booted feet were running up the stairs, and a crowd of men erupted upward into the narrow hall. Jake punched out the empty shell and replaced it, then returned the pistol to its holster. He looked remarkably unconcerned as people crowded around, overlapping questions with comments.
One man nudged Pledger's boot with his own. "Ugly son of a bitch. Who was he?" Then he noticed the three women standing there and swallowed. "Beg yer pardon, ladies."
None of the women seemed to have noticed. Victoria was still staring at Jake, her face white. Jake reached out and took Emma by the arm, bending down to talk low in her ear. "Take Mrs. McLain back into her room. She saw the whole thing, and she looks a mite shocked."
Emma looked swiftly at Victoria, then back to Jake and nodded. "Help me with Victoria," she said to Celia. Victoria found herself taken in hand and ushered back into her room, the door firmly closed on the ugly scene in the hallway.
She sat down and folded her hands in her lap, holding herself inside. She felt numb. A man had just been killed in front of her, and despite all she had seen during the war, nothing had been as brutal as that. Jake had been so... casual about it, as if the taking of a life was nothing to him. And the smile on his face still made her shiver in reaction.
Celia sank down onto the floor and put her head in Victoria's lap. The girl was shocked and silent.
Automatically Victoria smoothed the bright blond hair, as she had been doing since Celia's childhood. Emma sat down on the bed, as quiet as Victoria.
"Did you hear what he said?" Victoria asked.
"Some." Enough, Emma thought, to know that Jake Roper had been in this room with Victoria. Enough to know that Roper had had to kill Pledger to keep him silent. Not that she thought for one minute that Victoria had betrayed her marriage vows; for one thing, there hadn't been time, and for another, Victoria was too inherently honorable.
But Jake had in fact been in here alone with her, and Emma had accurately pegged the Major as a mean, violent, petty man who would, she was afraid, judge Victoria by his own standards---which was to say, none at all. For Victoria's sake, Emma was prepared to back whatever story Jake offered.
Fifteen minutes later the Major and Garnet arrived, having been fetched from a saloon by a breathless youngster with the news that there'd been a shooting at the hotel and the Major's wife was involved. The boy hadn't known anything other than that garbled message. They had both been on their way upstairs with a couple of the saloon's soiled doves, and the Major was in a foul mood from the interruption.
"That's two of our men you've killed, Roper," Garnet said, eyeing the tall, muscular man before him with suspicion.
Jake shrugged. "He went for his gun first. A man braces me, I don't ask if he's serious or just funning."
"You say he drew first." Garnet's eyes were alive with hate.
McLain looked from one hired gun to the other, his eyes wary. He had remained alive because he was shrewd if not intelligent, and Garnet's suspicious attitude alerted him. Fights were common among a bunch of men, but Roper was killing men with whom he was supposed to be working. It did make a man stop and wonder.
"Garnet's got a point," McLain said, eyeing Roper closely. "There any witnesses?"
"Mrs. McLain saw the whole thing." Jake sounded bored. "Ask her."
"I'll do that." McLain stomped to Victoria's door and slammed his heavy fist on it. "Victoria!"
Emma snatched it open, and the three men entered. Celia rose from the floor and Victoria got to her feet, too. She was still pale, and she didn't look at Jake.
"Roper says Pledger drew on him first. Is that so?" McLain growled.
Victoria clenched her cold hands in her skirts. "Mr. Pledger went for his weapon first, yes."
"What I want to know is what you and Pledger were doing up here," Garnet said.
Suspicion darkened the Major's face. Steeling herself, Victoria lifted her chin. "Mr. Roper walked us back to the hotel, at the Major's request."
"I'd seen them to their rooms and gone back down to the lobby when I saw Pledger slip in, like he was trying to be sneaky." Jake took a tobacco pouch out of his pocket and leisurely rolled a cigarette. "I followed him, found him up here trying to break into Miss Emma and Miss Celia's room. Don't guess I have to tell you why. I tried to get him to go back downstairs with me, but he refused and went for his gun."
"You saw this?" McLain asked, cutting his eyes to Victoria.
"Yes." She agreed to the lie with her own. She didn't look at Jake.
McLain looked at Emma. "Is that true? Was Pledger trying to get into your room?"
At least Emma didn't need to lie. "He was beating on the door and saying... ugly things. We were afraid to open it."
Jake lounged back against the doorjamb, his eyes narrowed to sleepy slits as he surveyed the others. "I did what I had to do to protect the women. That's what you wanted, isn't it, Major?"
"Of course," McLain snapped.
"Then what's the problem?"
"I'll tell you what the problem is," Garnet said, stepping closer. "The problem is you killing two of our oldest hands. Pledger and Charlie Guest had been with the ranch for years."
Jake smiled. It was the same expression Victoria had seen just before he'd killed Pledger. "I could always make it three," he suggested in a silky tone.
"That's enough damn killing!" McLain yelled. "Back off, Garnet. It riles me to lose Pledger, but I sure as hell don't want my two best men killing each other over him."
"Sure, boss." Garnet stepped back, but his expression remained hate-filled.
Jake wasn't surprised that Garnet had backed off so easily; face-to-face wasn't his style.
McLain put on his best smile. "The party tonight will be just the thing to make you ladies forget about this," he said. "The governor can't wait to meet you, since word's out that I have the three prettiest women in the territory. Every man in Santa Fe will be trying to dance with you tonight."
Victoria seized desperately on that excuse. "My goodness, I'd forgotten about the party! We'll have to hurry. Run along, gentlemen---" She made little shooing gestures with her hands. "Oh, Major, could you have the hotel send up hot water to both rooms?"
"Of course, my dear." He patted her on the cheek. "Dress up in your fanciest dress---give these yokels something to gawk at."
When the three women were alone again, Victoria visibly sagged. "I don't know if I can bear even the thought of a party," she said in a stifled voice. "Dear God." But she forced herself to straighten and took deep breaths to compose herself. "I suppose we'll have to go and make the best of it. Celia, dear, are you all right?"
"Yes." Celia looked unusually grave, but her dark blue eyes were steady. "Jake had to kill him, to protect us. I'm not sorry."
Victoria felt sick. Yes, Jake had killed to protect, but had he done it for Emma and Celia, or to conceal his own indiscretion with Victoria?
There was a hardness in him that terrified her, yet she was inexplicably drawn to him. Try as she might to avoid him, fate kept twisting their lives together, forcing them to share sordid secrets that created an unwilling intimacy between them, and now they were sharing lies.
Yet she had stood in his arms and let him kiss her in a way so improper and shattering that she could scarcely bear to think about it. She was another man's wife! To do what she had done had been betrayal, but at the time she had gloried in it. She had enjoyed the scent and taste of him, the feel of his strongly muscled body against her, thrilled to the power of his arms.
She had even dreamed of him. And that was, perhaps, an even greater betrayal.
Victoria excused herself and sought out the ladies' convenience, needing to get away just for a moment from the chatter and social smiles, and from the unexpectedly harrowing nearness of blue uniforms. It was silly, because the war had been over for a year, and in the meantime she had certainly become used to the sight of blue uniforms on the streets of Augusta. But never before had she been required to meet Union soldiers socially. She had no hate for them and wasn't bitter, as so many Southerners were, but when the first Union officer had bowed over her hand, she had felt afraid, as if they were still foes. The soldiers certainly did nothing to calm her already frayed nerves.
She had used rigid control to survive the evening. She hadn't allowed herself to think of the gaping hole in Pledger's chest, the ugliness of death, the boneless sprawl. Nor had she let herself remember the vile things he had said or the chilling way Jake had smiled. Most of all, she had blocked from her mind the hot, endless moments she had spent in his arms. It shouldn't have happened and must never happen again. She had to forget it forever.
The hallway was deserted, and though two lamps illuminated it for the benefit of the guests, the light seemed dim, absorbed by the rich but rather dark patterns of the wallpaper and carpeting. She longingly thought of the simple white walls and clear, uncluttered lines of the hacienda. If she enjoyed her marriage half as much as she did that house, she would have been very happy indeed.
The convenience was at the back of the house. As she passed an open doorway, it was filled with a dark, massive figure. She was startled but not frightened, merely thinking it another guest. An arm stretched out of the shadows and grabbed her, jerked her into the room, and only then did she become alarmed. She inhaled jerkily to scream, and the man clapped his hand over her mouth.
"Damn it, don't scream," he muttered.
The simple recognition of his voice twanged at her nerves. She jerked her head away from his hand. "What are you doing? You shouldn't be in here! How did you get in?"
"I'm here because the Major doesn't go anywhere without backup. I've been walking around outside, keeping an eye on things. This door was open, and I could see in through the window. From the parade of ladies going up and down the hall, it didn't take much brain to figure out where they were going."
"So you sneaked in the back door?"
"Crawled in the window."
"And grabbed the first woman who came by?" She was incensed and thought she might still scream. He hadn't let go of her, his fingers were still hooked around her waist, and the way he was holding her so close made her uneasy.
"No, I waited for you." He let go of her and walked to the open door, which he eased shut without even a click. "I wanted to talk to you."
Without the light coming from the hallway, the room at first seemed totally dark. She moved closer to the windows, both to put some distance between them and to see better. She lifted her chin. "What do we have to talk about?"
"Pledger."
She flinched a little at the name. "You killed him. What more is there to say?"
"Plenty. Don't let your high-nosed conscience push you into confessing. Pledger was dirt. He murdered and raped, and enjoyed it."
"Like you enjoyed killing him?"
He was silent a moment, then gave a low, harsh laugh as he moved toward her, into the light from the windows. "Yeah, I enjoyed it. I felt like I was doing a good deed."
Victoria clenched her hands. "You killed him to keep him from telling the Major that you were in my room. You shouldn't have been in there at all; it's my fault a man is dead, and I lied to hide why he was shot."
"Not much else you could do."
"Is a life, even his, so cheap? What could have happened if you hadn't shot him, if he had told? You'd have been fired and the Major would have been angry with me, but that would have been his right---"
"Wake up," he snapped, still keeping his voice low. "This isn't about a job! McLain would have told Garnet to get rid of me, and he wouldn't mean just throw me off of the ranch. But even if he didn't kill me, if he just fired me, where would that leave you? Where would it leave your little sister?"
"Celia?" Victoria stared up at him, trying to see his features in the faint light.
"If I'm gone, who'll keep Garnet away from the girl?"
She hadn't thought of that. She felt dizzy, as if she had almost walked off a cliff and seen it just in time. Good or bad, and for his own reasons, Jake Roper was the only protection Celia had---or, come to that, she herself had. He had killed to protect them. But why?
She didn't delude herself that he cared anything about her; how could he? He didn't know her. True, he had kissed her, but she was learning that didn't necessarily mean anything to a man.
Whatever she saw in his cold green eyes, she was certain it wasn't tenderness. His reasons for protecting them were his own. She felt as if she were being used, but she couldn't see how. She had no power, no influence for him to hope to exploit.
She inhaled. "I won't say anything," she said, her tone stifled.
"Just make sure you don't. What about your cousin? Did she hear what was said?"
"I think so, but Emma would never say anything."
"And Celia?"
"She won't tell, either."
"Can you trust her?"
Her anger was immediate, but she tamped it down. He didn't know Celia, couldn't understand that her peculiar characteristics in no way indicated an un-trustworthiness. But perhaps her anger was because all her emotions were so close to the surface tonight. Because of that, she restrained her immediate retort and instead merely replied, "Yes."
"Make sure she understands."
"She already does, Mr. Roper." She said it through her teeth, her control slipping a bit.
"Jake."
She stepped back. "I think not. This afternoon was a mistake, one that won't be repeated. It would be best if we---"
"It won't, huh?" He almost laughed, but instead took her by the shoulders and pulled her to him. He wrapped his arms around her, forcing her into full contact with him from knee to breast. "Do you think I wanted to be attracted to you? I didn't, and I don't like it, but that's the way it is, and I'll be damned if I let you treat me like I'm invisible."
Uselessly she shoved against his chest, then turned her head to the side as his mouth lowered. He caught her chin and was bending to her again when there was a faint scratching at the door, and Emma said in a low voice, "Victoria?"
Jake released her as Emma opened the door and slipped inside, swiftly closing it again.
Victoria drew herself up, sharply aware of what Emma must be thinking.
Emma carefully navigated the dark room until she was standing before them. "You had been gone too long, so I came looking for you," she said in her quiet voice. "I heard your voices when I passed the door. We'll go back in together, and no one will think anything of it." To Jake she said, "I didn't have the opportunity earlier to thank you for what you did, Mr. Roper. I'm deeply grateful."
Tears stung Victoria's eyes. Dear Emma. Her love and loyalty, her support, never wavered.
"No thanks are necessary," Jake said.
"Perhaps not, but then you weren't on the other side of that door." Emma put her hand on Victoria's arm. "Give us time to get back to the party before you leave."
Amused, he said, "I'll go out the same way I came in, through the window."
"Be careful, Mr. Roper. And thank you again, whether or not you think my gratitude is deserved."
They left together and when they were in the hall, Victoria gave a low, shaky laugh. "I still need to use the convenience."
"Of course."
Emma didn't say anything else until they were returning to the party. Then she whispered, "Be careful."
Victoria shuddered. "I hope the situation never arises again," she said, and hoped that Emma understood she had no intention of becoming embroiled in an unsavory relationship with Jake Roper. He frightened her, even though she felt this sordid physical attraction for him. He made love as casually as he wiped his boots, and he killed the same way.
She ignored the sudden chill she felt and pasted a bright smile on her face as she and Emma rejoined the party.
That goddamn Roper was up to something.
Garnet didn't know what it was, but he felt more and more uneasy as he thought about Pledger. He lay in his bed in the hotel, his booted feet crossed carelessly on the white bedspread, smoking in the dark while he thought about it. Pledger had been a mean son of a bitch, but he hadn't been stupid, and the fact was it was plain stupid to draw on Roper. Yet Pledger had done that very thing and earned himself a pine coffin. Roper's explanation had made sense right up to the part where Pledger drew on him.
It had been an easy life on the hacienda, but maybe it was time to be thinking about changing things. There was trouble in the air that he couldn't identify, but he could feel it. Maybe the Major was losing his grip on things. Maybe it was time for a stronger hand.
He smiled, a cold little smile. Yeah, maybe that was it. The Major was so damn impressed with Roper's gun that he wouldn't hear of getting rid of him, so maybe the thing to do was get rid of the Major. That would put Roper put of a job, neat and simple. Garnet would be rid of him without trying to get the drop on the son of a bitch. Once Roper left, the little corn-haired gal would be all his; her high-falutin' sister wouldn't be able to do a damn thing about it.
Hell, no, that wouldn't work. Roper was too friendly with the Major's wife. Kill the Major, and Roper would be the one who stayed to comfort the grieving widow and her pretty sister.
The solution was pretty simple. It didn't take him longer than a second of consideration to settle on it. All he had to do was kill the Major's wife as well as the Major. He'd have to figure out some way to do it so no one could put the blame on him, but it could be done. On a ranch the size of the kingdom, there would be plenty of opportunities. The bitch had helped him by getting this bee in her bonnet about riding. There would be lots of times when she'd be all by herself, with no one else within sight or earshot. Garnet was a fair shot with a rifle; it would be no trouble at all to put a bullet in her head. Then the Major, and after that it would all be his.
Garnet lay in the darkness, so satisfied with his plan that he could almost taste it, so impatient to feel the little yeller-haired gal beneath him that he had to reach down and rub his aching loins. The best part of his plan was that he wouldn't have to do nothing about Roper---he could just fire him!
Garnet was like a great many people in that he used himself as the measure by which to judge others, which was what had kept him alive for so long. He automatically expected the worst of someone, and because of that he was extraordinarily wary. Trust was alien to him. He believed himself to be safe with the Major only because he knew too much and had made the Major dependent on him, which was the only smart thing to do. Garnet's one weakness was that he was blind to the possibility of someone else's greater sense of purpose. If it were Garnet who lost his job, he would pack his saddlebags and leave, so he expected Roper to do the same. It never occurred to him that Jake might be so enraged by the death of the Major's wife that he'd stay, because Garnet himself would never risk his life for a woman, especially a dead one. Nor did he know that Roper had another, more compelling reason for remaining on the Kingdom Ranch.
So he lay in bed and planned, so hungry for the power that was within his grasp that he couldn't sleep. He kept rubbing slowly at his crotch, thinking of both the ranch and Celia Waverly, until they became intertwined in his mind. He could have easily left his room and found a whore, but a strange hot compulsion kept him in bed. He didn't want to stick it in some gaudy, cheap-smelling whore; he wanted to stick it in Celia, and nothing else would satisfy him.
The return trip to the ranch was just as arduous as the journey to Santa Fe had been. They spent most of it in the bone-racking buggy, lurching over rocks and into holes, and choking on dust kicked up by the riders in front. The only comfort was late in the day, when they stopped to make camp. The heat began to cool, the dust settled, and they could stretch their legs. While the simple meals were being prepared, Jake worked with the three new horses and Victoria's gaze was often lured in that direction. She told herself it was just to watch the animals, but Jake's deep voice drifted on the quiet air like velvet, instructing, soothing, praising. Against her will, it worked the same spell on her as it did on the horses.
Celia's dark brown mare was the fastest to pick up on the proper behavior for a horse wearing a sidesaddle, a fact which pleased the girl and made her even prouder of her mount. She named the mare Gypsy, a name that was considerably flashier than its bearer, and lavished the animal with attention. Jake figured the mare would be ready to ride by the time they reached the ranch, but didn't say anything to Celia because he knew she would immediately start demanding to ride out by herself. It was better if she didn't know until the others could go with her.
The gray gelding Emma had chosen didn't present many problems, either, but Victoria's mare was another story. The beefy man had lied; she wasn't even half-broken to the saddle. What's more, she didn't like it. She tried to bite him every time he put the saddle on her back; she blew up to keep him from tightening the cinch (a trick she abandoned after he kneed her the first few times she did it); and she wasn't above a well-placed kick. He didn't even try mounting her; he figured that was going to be a real battle and didn't want to start it until he had her in a corral where she couldn't run away if she managed to throw him. When he didn't have the saddle on her she was as affectionate and playful as a child, but the saddle just plain made her mad. She plain made him mad, too, but he told himself ruefully that it was his own fault for volunteering to train the horses. He'd get her gentled for Victoria if it killed him, and he thought it just might.
Victoria herself was acting as if he were made of thin air, looking right through him. He let it pass, because he had plenty of time once they got back to the ranch. Much as she tried to deny it, she liked the way he touched her. So he watched her with hooded eyes and bided his time.
They arrived at the ranch late the following morning. The Major strode into the house yelling for Carmita, leaving the women to get down from the buggy unaided. Jake swung down from his horse and reached the buggy in time to help Emma. Celia, of course, had already jumped down and raced off. Emma smiled at him and murmured a thank-you. Jake turned back to reach for Victoria, and his eyes locked with hers for a second before she looked away. But he'd seen enough to read her reluctance to let him touch her. He smiled grimly and grasped her around the waist, rather than simply giving her his hand to help her balance. Swinging her to the ground, he said, "Ma'am," politely, and touched his hat.
"Thank you, Mr. Roper." Her voice sounded a bit strained.
"I'll be working with the mare tomorrow morning, ma'am, and you need to be there."
She'd gotten only two steps away; she stopped and turned back. "Why is that?"
"If I do all the work with her, ma'am, she's going to think she's my horse. Don't reckon you want that, do you?"
Victoria stared at him. Common sense told her that all she required was a good horse for riding; what difference would it make if the mare was fonder of Jake than of her? Then anger roiled in her, not lessened at all by the knowledge that she was reacting exactly as he wanted. It was her horse and she didn't want just a mount; she wanted the mare to give her the equine version of friendship. It would forever eat at her if the horse went more willingly to Roper than to her, and if that was small of her, then so be it.
She looked away. "What time?" She kept her voice calm, as if it didn't matter.
"Ten. That'll give you time to sleep late, get rested up."
He knew she was tired. The knowledge softened something inside her, something that she couldn't allow to soften. She tried not to let his casual solicitude touch her, but it did. For whatever reason, Jake was protective of her and she was forced to acknowledge that it did matter. She wanted to go into his arms and let her head rest on his shoulder, just for a moment.
Her face was flushed as she walked into the house, but thankfully that could be put down to the hot sun. Emma was standing in the entrance foyer removing her bonnet and gloves. From the back of the house came the Major's muffled shouts as he discovered something that displeased him. Celia ran down the stairs with a quick drumming of her heels and would have dashed past had Emma not stepped in front of her.
"Goodness, where are you off to in such a hurry?" Victoria asked as she began removing her own bonnet.
"To the stables. Jake said he'd teach me how to curry Gypsy."
Emma's mouth curved in amusement. "Don't you think you should change out of that dress into something more suitable?"
Celia shrugged. "A dress is a dress."
"There are old dresses and new dresses; old dresses are better for currying horses."
Celia looked down at her dress, then said, "All right," and darted back up the stairs.
Victoria laughed. "She'll never appreciate the difference."
"She missed so much, didn't she?" Emma mused. "The parties, the dances, the flirting. Can't you just see how all the boys would be clustered around her?"
The smile faded from Victoria's face as she placed her bonnet and gloves on the table. "What will happen to her, I wonder? She's so trusting. I want her to find someone wonderful to love, a man who's gentle and will cherish her as much as she deserves." She continued in a low voice. "I worry, because I haven't seen a man like that out here."
Emma said, "For any of us." She had loved Jon, and grieved for him, but her man had been dead a long time now and she was still young. She, too, wanted to find love, marry, and have a family. She admitted to herself that she'd come out here with high hopes, for Victoria's marriage had signaled an end to hunger and poverty, and she had dreamed... vague, romantic dreams of handsome cowboys, virile, adventurous men who had taken on this wild country and won. Instead, they were isolated on the ranch, which seemed to hide a layer of ugliness and hatred beneath the beauty. With few exceptions, the men were hostile and leering.
Nor was Victoria's situation better, if anything, it was worse. Emma shuddered at the thought of being married to the Major, of having to submit to him in bed if he chose to visit her. The idea would have been unthinkable if they'd still been back in Augusta, but now Emma wouldn't think one whit less of Victoria if she took what comfort she could from Jake Roper. He was a man, not a loathsome slug like the Major. He was too much man for Emma's taste, but Victoria was stronger than she, perhaps even strong enough for someone like Roper.
McLain stomped to the front of the house. Both women moved out of his path, and he passed them without a word, his face dark with a scowl as he climbed the stairs. Neither of them dared ask him what was wrong.
McLain slammed the door to his bedroom and kicked a chair across the room. He'd asked about Angelina's whereabouts first thing, and Lola, with a smug look, had told him that Angelina had gone off with one of the hands that morning and wasn't back yet. He was enraged; not only was she not there when he wanted her, but he knew damn sure the cowhand wouldn't be doing any of the work he was supposed to be doing. The goddamn whore! He'd teach her a lesson when he got his hands on her.
There was nothing he could do about it now, however, and that made him even angrier. Maybe that girl Juana... naw, hell, he'd had her once, and she hadn't been any better than his fist. Not as good, because she'd just lain there and sniffled. He didn't even consider taking his wife to bed; his mind shied away from that possibility to the extent that the thought never formed. He was bothered enough with his haunting fears of the Sarratts; in fact, his nightmares and jumpiness seemed to be getting worse lately, as if the ghosts were closing in for the kill. He sure as hell didn't need his stiff lady wife reminding him of Elena. The sound of Victoria entering the adjoining bedroom unnerved him to the extent that he left his room as quickly as he'd entered it.
He stood in the hallway, red-faced with anger and looking for a scapegoat. The cheerful sound of humming at first made him even angrier, and then he noticed that it was coming from Celia's room, where the door had been left slightly ajar. Now there was a beauty, prettier even than Angelina. And she wasn't as all-fired proper and straitlaced as her sister. She just might like having a man if she tried it. The more the Major thought about it, the more he liked it. Celia was a Waverly, too, after all; she just wasn't a lady in the same way that her sister was. He knew Victoria would be busy for at least five minutes changing out of her traveling clothes. He balanced caution and temptation by tiptoeing down the hall until he could see through the narrow crack between door and jamb.
Celia was in her petticoats and chemise, still humming as she selected one of her older dresses from the armoir and slipped it on over her head. It had the advantage of buttoning down the front, which was why she had chosen it, and she bent her head to the task.
McLain watched her, struck by the golden creaminess of her bare shoulders and arms. She had nice big tits, too, with the dark centers plain under the thin cotton chemise. The sunlight streaming through the window illuminated her hair, and he had the uncharacteristically fanciful thought that she looked like an angel. God, she was a beauty! And a little hoyden, not like Victoria at all. Certainly nothing like Elena. The ache in his loins had intensified while he stood watching her, and he thought about what it would be like to have her. He'd have to keep it secret from Victoria, but he thought he knew a way to accomplish that.
He glanced furtively down the hall, then back at Celia. She was nearly finished dressing, so he slipped away as carefully as he had approached. His heart was pounding with anticipation.
He went downstairs to the library and took an opened bottle of bourbon from the desk drawer. There was a glass in the drawer, too, but he ignored it and tipped the bottle to his mouth. The liquor burned down his throat, a pleasant warmth that matched the one in his gut. By God, here was something to look forward to! He drank once more in celebration of his own cleverness. The only thing was, he'd have to make sure Victoria didn't find out. She was high-nosed enough that she'd pack up and leave if she found out he was diddling her little sister, and the humiliation would be unbearable after all the strutting and bragging he'd done in Santa Fe about his patrician wife. He could always lie about it, of course, but there were so many people on the ranch that someone would blab and the truth would get out.
But he was confident he could bed Celia all he wanted, and the girl would never tell. She was a simpleminded little idiot. All he had to do was threaten her somehow... He mused about it for a minute, trying to think of something that would scare her. Finally his face split into a grin. That was it, by God! He'd tell Celia that if she ever told, he'd hurt Victoria. He thought about saying he'd kill Victoria, but thought that might be pushing too hard. The girl might panic. The beauty of the plan was that it was a lie, but she was so simple she'd believe anything he told her.
He'd have plenty of time to put his plan into action, too. Buying those horses for the women had been a stroke of genius. Since they didn't know their way around, they wouldn't go far by themselves, but he could always tell Roper to go with them, give him orders to show them the ranch or take them to someplace far enough away that he knew they'd be gone a couple of hours. From what he'd gathered, Celia didn't ride well enough to make that kind of trip, so she'd have to stay behind. Then she'd be his.
If that didn't work, he'd manage something else. Bribe her with a promise to ride Rubio, maybe, and get her away from the house. He was in a fever of anticipation, thinking of it. Celia wasn't a whore like Angelina; she'd be all tight and fresh...
He squirmed in the chair and took another swig of bourbon. Roper would have to hurry up and get those damn horses trained.
Another sip emptied the bottle. With a disgusted curse, he shoved the empty bottle across the top of the desk, dislodging some papers, and a silver glint caught his eye.
He froze, his insides clenching. When he finally managed to move, his hand was shaking. With a jerk he pushed the papers completely to the side, uncovering what he'd only glimpsed.
A knife. The blade was sharpened to a razor edge.
It wasn't his. He hadn't left it there.
His eyes darted left and right. He was afraid to move, afraid to look behind him. He strained his ears for any sound that would indicate someone was in the room with him. And then his mind went over the edge.
Sarratt!
The bastard boys weren't dead, or their ghosts had come back to get him. He had to watch out for them now.
He didn't pick up the knife. He couldn't. His thighs clenched together protectively.
Maybe he wouldn't understand what the knife meant. Juana stared at the closed door, her eyes burning with hate. It didn't matter if he knew; she knew, and she meant it. If he ever touched her again, she would kill him. The hate had festered inside her since the night he had raped her, and she hadn't forgotten. She would never forget.
"Why did your sister marry McLain?"
Jake hadn't meant to ask the question, and he was furious with himself for letting it slip out. But it had been nagging at him; he needed to know. Celia looked at him over Gypsy's back as she continued to stroke the curry brush over the horse's shoulder and sides.
For a moment there was a very old look in her dark blue eyes. "So we wouldn't be hungry," she said after a moment.
Of all the answers he might have anticipated, that wasn't one of them. He narrowed his eyes at the girl. "Hungry?"
"We didn't have any food or money. The Major said he'd give a lot of money to Mama and Papa if Victoria would marry him. So she did."
The simple explanation hit Jake hard. Victoria had practically been sold; she hadn't married McLain to help herself, but to help her family.
He didn't ask anything else, and Celia brushed in silence for several minutes before she looked at him again and asked, "When can I start riding Gypsy?"
"In another week, about."
"Why so long?"
"I want to make certain she understands how she's supposed to act when her rider is sitting sidesaddle."
"Why do I have to have a sidesaddle? Why can't I have a saddle like yours?"
"Because ladies don't ride astride." He personally thought sidesaddles were stupid and dangerous, but if he told her that then he'd have to explain why she had to use one anyway and he didn't want to get involved in that kind of discussion with her.
If he'd known Celia better, he'd have realized that she didn't drop a subject until she understood it.
"Why don't ladies ride astride?"
He pulled his hat lower over his eyes. "Because their skirts would be pulled up and show their legs."
"Then why don't women just wear pants like men do?"
"Because that would show their legs, too."
Her head popped up over Gypsy's back. "No more than it shows men's legs," she said indignantly. "How are women's legs different from men's legs?"
Jake reflected on how easy it was to get backed into a corner. He thought of a lot of answers he could give her, but settled on a literal one. "They're prettier."
Her head bent as she evidently surveyed her own legs, hidden though they were by her blue skirt. "But if they're prettier, why hide them?" she asked, now totally perplexed. "It seems to me that men should wear skirts to hide their legs if they're ugly, and women should wear pants."
His lips twitched again, but he controlled his laughter. "Men have to do a lot of heavy work," he pointed out. "They couldn't do it if they were hampered by skirts, now could they? Can you imagine the Major wearing a dress and branding steers? He'd catch his petticoat on fire."
Celia giggled. Another thought occurred and she narrowed her eyes at him, which made her look like a ferocious kitten. "Women wear skirts while they're cooking."
"Men are clumsier than women. Women can manage skirts; men would get their big feet tangled in all that cloth and fall down."
"Sometimes I do, too. That's why I think I should wear pants."
He surrendered, and did the only thing a man could do. "Why don't you ask Victoria about it?"
Celia sighed regretfully. "No, she'd never let me."
She returned to brushing Gypsy, and Jake watched her with a little smile. She was delightful; he could see why Victoria was so fierce in protecting her. He could even see why she had let herself be married off to McLain; after all, she didn't know what kind of bastard the man was, and she'd done the best she could to provide for her family. Privately Jake thought that their father must be a weak, lily-livered son of a bitch to sell his daughter to a man twice her age, but that didn't make his daughter any less a lady.
Celia and Emma would become Jake's responsibility when he married Victoria. He realized that he'd probably have a lot more of this kind of conversation with Celia and didn't know whether to laugh or groan. At least he could always send her to Victoria when the topic got too much for him to handle. Maybe he could get her to ask Ben some of her questions. It had been a long time since he'd seen his brother discomfited; he looked forward to it.
Victoria patted the mare's neck and murmured to her. The horse liked all the attention and kept nudging Victoria with her head to encourage her to continue.
"What are you going to name her?" Jake asked as he worked the bridle on over the mare's head and eased a light bit into her mouth. She didn't mind either the bridle or the bit, and mouthed the metal without any trouble. It wasn't until he put the saddle on her that she began acting up. He wondered what in hell she'd do when he climbed on her back.
"I don't know." She had thought about it, because they had always named their animals, but she hadn't been able to think of a name that seemed suitable for the mare.
"Name her something that means ill-tempered, vicious, and contrary," Jake muttered.
Victoria couldn't help the sudden smile that lit her face. "She's none of those things!"
"Just wait until she takes a nip out of your leg." He looked down at her bright expression and felt his loins tighten. One way or another, this damn horse was a godsend, forcing Victoria to spend a lot of time with him. He intended to use every minute of that time making her aware of him. Lady or not, she was a woman beneath those clothes, and she liked it when he touched her.
"You'd better step out of the way, or you might get that nip now," he warned. He waited until Victoria moved away before settling the saddle on the mare's back. The horse whipped her head around, but he was too fast and her teeth snapped on air.
Victoria laughed, and the sound clutched at Jake's chest.
"You might think it's funny, but you're not riding her until I can get her broken of all her bad habits," he said. The mare sidestepped away as he tried to tighten the cinches, and he cursed her luridly, not bothering to apologize to Victoria for his language. She'd probably hear a lot worse by the time her precious horse was fit to be ridden.
"Why aren't you putting a sidesaddle on her?" she asked.
"Because I've got to ride her, and there's no way in hell I'm going to try it with one of those things."
Victoria laughed again. It was funny, watching the mare shift away from him; if a horse could have expressions, then the mare was definitely enjoying what she was doing. Jake just kept at the task until he had the cinches as tight as he wanted. He called the mare names that Victoria had never heard mentioned in polite company, but he was never rough with her. When he finished he patted her neck, and contrarily she turned her head to nuzzle his chest.
"You damn contrary cayuse," Jake murmured, then took the reins in his hand and said to Victoria, "Climb up on the fence. I'm going to try riding her, and I don't think she's going to like it."
Victoria complied as the men who happened to be nearby all wandered over to prop their arms on the fence and call encouragement, insults, or advice to Jake.
"You won't last ten seconds, Roper."
"Stay in the saddle---"
"Give that hoss a ride---"
"Show these jackasses how it's done---Pardon me, ma'am."
"Hope you like dirt, Roper, 'cause you're about to get a mouthful of it."
"I don't doubt that none," Jake replied, grinning at the razing. "It wouldn't be the first time." He set his hat firmly on his head and fit his left boot into the stirrup, then swung into the saddle with one easy motion.
For a second the mare stood stock still, as if she couldn't believe there was actually someone on her back. Then she exploded into motion, first up on the back legs, then twisting and coming down with her head low. She bucked and jumped and corkscrewed, and tried to brush him off against the fence. The men were yelling, and clouds of dust enveloped them.
The mare twisted again and came down hard, her hindquarters lifting. Jake came off over her head and landed with a thump. The men laughed and shouted suggestions. He heard Victoria laugh, and the sound rippled through him on a wave of pleasure even though he was spitting dirt out of his mouth. Jake eased into a sitting position. The mare had settled down as soon as his weight had left the saddle, and ambled over to nudge him.
"You goddamn scrub," he said softly as he climbed to his feet. "You've got to learn how to behave, so the lady can ride you. You won't get me off this time; I'm gonna ride you until you're so tired you can't jump, and then I'm going to teach you some manners."
He took up the reins again and was back in the saddle before the mare knew what he was doing.
She had tired a little from her first effort at unseating him, but she wasn't ready to admit defeat. With fire in her eyes, the mare sunfished and corkscrewed; she tried everything, but the man on her back didn't fly off. She ran straight for the fence and swerved only at the last second, and one of the men jerked Victoria backward off the fence, out of harm's way.
"Sorry, ma'am," he said, never taking his eyes off the man and horse.
"That's quite all right. Thank you."
"Yes, ma'am."
The mare tried several more times to brush him off, then just began running around and around the corral. Her speed didn't slow. "I'm taking her over!" Jake yelled, and pulled her head around until she was headed directly for the fence. Her powerful hindquarters bunched, she lifted, and was clear with plenty of room to spare. Jake's hat flew off, but he stayed in the saddle. He bent down low over the horse's neck. When she got that temper worked off, her training could start. Letting her run was the best thing he could do. At this point it was the only thing.
"Guess we'll have to build the fence higher," one man commented.
Victoria watched man and horse receding in the distance. "When will they be back?" she wondered aloud.
"When that hoss tires out, I reckon."
She looked at the man who had spoken. He was the same one who had jerked her off the fence when the mare had veered in her direction. She felt embarrassed that she didn't know his name and felt that she should thank him again for his action. She held out her hand. "I'm indebted to you, Mister---?"
"Quinzy," the man said. He looked at her hand, then wiped his own on his pants before taking hers. "Jake Quinzy, ma'am."
"Thank you, Mr. Quinzy, for acting so swiftly. I was taken off guard and couldn't have moved out of the way on my own."
He pulled his hat down lower over his eyes. "It was my pleasure, ma'am."
Like so many of the other men, Jake Quinzy wore his holster tied low on his thigh. His face was weathered to the texture of old leather, with myriad lines radiating around his eyes, and there was a touch of gray in his sideburns, but he was as lean and muscled as any of the young men. His eyes, a curious grayish-brown, were emotionless as he studied her from under the brim of his hat.
How was she supposed to act with men like this? She had no idea what type of life he had led, what kind of man he was. Yet he was still standing there and the countless hours of having good manners drilled into her compelled her to make conversation.
"I admit, I feel rather jealous of Mr. Roper," she said with a smile. "I had hoped to be the first to ride the mare."
"It's best someone else works the kinks out of her," Quinzy replied. "You might get hurt if she threw you."
"My goodness, I've been thrown before!" She laughed, remembering some of the spills she'd taken and the bruises suffered. "Everyone who rides has parted company with his saddle, I imagine."
"Yes, ma'am, I reckon that's so."
Quinzy had chores to do, but he remained standing beside Mrs. McLain, letting her lead him in small talk. He seldom had a chance to talk to a woman like her. She fascinated him; she was as tidy as a Sunday-school teacher and a sweet smell lingered in the air around her. Her skin was pale and smooth, and she had been soft under his hands when he'd put them on her waist to pull her down from the fence. She was so different from him that he felt like a great, rough, clumsy bear in comparison. Garnet called her a high-nosed, hoity-toity bitch, but Quincy thought she was calm and dignified. He decided Mrs. McLain was one thing he didn't need to be taking Garnet's advice about.
The mare ran like the wind. Her powerful muscles bunched and expanded as her hooves pounded the earth. Jake settled into the rhythm, his legs holding her, his hand trying to coax her to respond, but she ignored him and he finally decided to let her run until she couldn't.
Her stamina was amazing. He was a big man, but she acted as if she didn't feel his weight at all. Long after most horses would have been exhausted, her long legs still worked effortlessly. He sensed that she was no longer running from temper, but from the sheer joy of running, and admiration for her filled him. God, what a horse! She was a fit mate for Rubio, as outstanding a mare as he was a stallion. The foals they would get from her would leave all other horses in their dust.
On the other hand, the Major might have been right, as much as he hated to admit it. She might be too much horse for Victoria to handle. She was as strong as most stallions, though Rubio had her beat when it came to sheer power.
Gradually she began slowing, first to a canter, then a walk. He patted her neck, his admiration plain in his voice as he praised her. She wasn't even blown; she was tired, but her gait was still steady, and she tossed her head in a show of spirit.
"That's a good girl. God, you can run! Are you ready to head back home now?" She stopped and he let her rest for a minute, but he didn't dismount. She was just contrary enough to take off without him. When her breathing had slowed, he squeezed her with his legs and lifted the reins. She snorted, shook her head, and ignored him.
Jake swore softly and nudged her with his heels. She tried to bite him. It looked like he had a long day ahead of him.
It was two hours later when they returned to the ranch. By then she was responding to some of his signals, but ignoring others. He kept his temper under control and his hands light on the reins. Despite all the problems she'd given him, she was a magnificent animal. She still had enough energy left to prance as they approached the corral, to demonstrate that he was on her back only because she allowed it.
Victoria was nowhere in sight, but she'd evidently left orders that she be called as soon as he returned because she walked up while he was still unsaddling the mare. She'd changed out of her riding habit into a dark blue skirt with a high-necked shirtwaist blouse that had a hint of lace at the throat and sleeves. She looked as cool as the winter snows, while he was hot and dusty and had a headache from being out in the sun so long without his hat.
"How did she do?" she asked, stroking the mare's nose.
"It was a draw," he muttered. "I won on some things, she won on others."
He was as sweaty as the horse and his face was streaked with dirt. He was exactly the rough type of man that she'd always avoided, but she didn't return to the house as she knew she should. Instead she watched him take care of the horse, and the sight of his strong, tanned hands and forearms, bared by his rolled-up sleeves, fascinated her.
"I've thought of a name for her," she said, because she couldn't think of anything else to say.
"I've thought of a few myself," Jake grunted.
"Sophie."
He grunted again, a sound that didn't express either approval or disapproval. "Sophie it is, then."
"I didn't want to name her some common name like Princess or Duchess, or a mythological name. Just Sophie." She stopped, a little tense because she wanted him to like her choice.
"It'll do." He led the horse into a stall and fetched a bucket of water for her, then fed her. He slapped her darkly gleaming rump, and she shifted sideways just enough to jostle him.
Victoria laughed and he looked up, a half-smile twisting his lips. "I heard you laughing when she tossed me."
She didn't look guilty. Her eyes twinkled at him. "It was funny. She looked so proud of herself."
He closed the stall door and propped his arms on top of it. He was so close to her that she could smell his sweat and feel the heat of his body. Before she could put some protective distance between them, he reached out and brushed the backs of his fingers across her cheekbone. "I didn't mind," he said softly. "I like hearing you laugh." She didn't laugh enough, he realized. He wanted to gather her close and protect her, give her a world where she could laugh more.
His touch confused her. She looked away and searched for some way to change the subject. Sophie was the most obvious excuse available, so she said, "Can she run?"
"Can she run," he repeated softly, awe in his voice. "She's so fast and strong that maybe it isn't a good idea for you to ride her."
Victoria stiffened. "I'm a very good rider, and she's my horse."
"She's headstrong and stubborn, and so strong that if she decided to bolt you wouldn't be able to hold her."
"I repeat, she's my horse and I'll ride her."
"Come to think of it, you do have a lot in common with her," he said, his gaze intense as he looked at her. "She's proud, contrary, and kicks up a fuss about a man riding her, but she'll like it once she gets used to it and settles down some."
Victoria turned white and fell back a step from the look in those hard, level green eyes. There was no mistaking his meaning and no mistaking the way he was looking at her. "No," she whispered. "Don't say that." She lifted her skirts to leave, but he grabbed her arm and pulled her closer to him.
"Running away won't make it any less true."
"Mr. Roper, please let go of me."
"Jake," he said. "Don't call me Mr. Roper like I've never kissed you and you haven't kissed me back. And maybe I don't want to let go of you. Maybe I want another kiss."
"Hush!" She looked around desperately, terrified that someone would see or hear them. For God's sake, why was he doing this? Any number of people could walk in. He'd killed Pledger to keep the man from telling that he'd seen Jake coming out of her room, and now he was deliberately jeopardizing that same secret.
"No one's around." He smiled a little grimly and released her. "Don't look so scared. You're not going to have to scream 'rape' to protect your reputation. I'm not going to throw you into a stall and flip your skirts up, even though the idea is mighty pleasing, Miz McLain."
"Jake, please." He might think her proud, but she would beg if necessary. "I'm not that sort of woman. I'm sorry if I gave you that impression---"
"The impression I got is that you're a woman who doesn't know how much pleasure your body can give you---"
"Pleasure!" she said in a stifled tone of disgust.
He was pleased at this confirmation that she didn't enjoy her marital duties with McLain. It still grated at him that she slept with the bastard at all, but he couldn't stand the thought of her enjoying it.
"Yeah, pleasure." His voice was rough and low. "Don't make the mistake of thinking that having me inside you would be the same as having McLain."
The color washed into her face as she remembered the shameful dreams and fantasies she'd had about him, and she felt as mortified as if he'd been able to read her mind.
She began backing away. "This isn't right," she whispered. "We can't---"
"That's right, run away. Like I said, that won't change anything. I'll see you in the morning.
She hurried back to the house, her face burning. She'd tell the Major that she wanted someone else to train the horse. But what excuse could she give for wanting Jake replaced? She couldn't do anything that might result in him being fired; he was the only protection she could provide for Celia.
There was nothing she could do. She was caught in a spider web of circumstance, and she couldn't tear free without endangering Celia.
So she was there at ten the next morning, her face carefully composed and blank. Jake was already mounted on Sophie and was patiently walking her around the corral, teaching her the commands every well-mannered horse should know. Except for giving Victoria a piercing look when she first walked up, he ignored her and concentrated on the mare.
The sun was hot, and a trickle of perspiration made an itching path down her spine. She rubbed the back of her neck, which was beginning to prickle despite the floppy-brimmed hat she'd borrowed from Carmita that morning. Why did he want her out here if he was going to do all the work with the horse?
"Did you have any trouble with her this morning?" she finally asked.
"A little. She wanted to jump the fence and run like she did yesterday. But she didn't try to bite me when I saddled her, so we're making progress."
"How long will it be before I can ride her?"
"Depends."
"On what?"
"On how she acts, and how fast she learns."
"Mr. Roper, it's very hot out here. I have better things to do than just stand in the sun letting dust settle on me."
He reined Sophie in and stared at her. "All right. Let's change saddles on her and you can start doing some of the work. But I don't want to hear any squalling if she throws you."
Victoria's heart leaped at the thought of getting to ride her beautiful horse, and she smiled at him. "I don't 'squall' when I'm thrown."
"Then let's see how good you are."
He led Sophie to the stable and unsaddled her, throwing the saddle on his own horse. He nodded toward the tack room. "Your saddle is in there. Get to work."
If he thought she wouldn't know how to go about saddling a horse, he'd soon find out differently. Victoria found one of the new side saddles the Major had bought in Santa Fe and a saddle blanket, both of which she carried to where Sophie was restlessly shifting about.
"Watch her teeth," Jake warned.
Victoria patted Sophie and talked to her before positioning the blanket on her back. The mare turned her head and watched every move. When Victoria lifted the saddle, the horse shifted but didn't move out of reach. She allowed the saddle to be put on her back and finally turned her head away as if bored while Victoria tightened the cinches.
Jake had already finished saddling his own horse, a big gelding, and he came over to boost Victoria into the sidesaddle. She waited for him to cup his hands for her to step into, but instead he clasped her around the waist and effortlessly lifted her. Startled, Victoria grabbed his shoulders for balance, her fingers digging into his heavy muscles. He plopped her in her seat and held her there, narrowly watching Sophie for any signs of rebellion.
Victoria steadied herself with a deep breath and hooked her right knee around the pommel while she found the stirrup with her left boot. Sophie glanced around, curious at this much lighter weight and strange seat, but she seemed to accept them.
Jake swung into his saddle. "She has a real tender mouth, so keep a light touch on the reins. All she needs is a nudge with your heel, but don't kick her. That riles her up."
Victoria obeyed, and found that she had to give Sophie only the smallest hint of direction with the reins. They walked out of the stable into the hot sun and halted in the yard when the Major hailed them.
"Fine-looking horse," he enthused as he approached. "Yep, she'll give us some fine foals when we breed her."
Victoria stiffened. This was the first she'd heard about breeding Sophie. Eventually, yes, she wanted a foal from the mare, but Sophie was still young and there was plenty of time. She wanted to be able to enjoy her new mount first. "I don't want Sophie bred yet," she said firmly.
The Major didn't even look at her. He was still examining Sophie, beaming over her. He slapped the horse's neck a little too hard and the mare took exception to it by dancing away. Jake's hand shot out to aid Victoria in controlling the animal, and Victoria murmured softly to settle the horse down.
The Major put his hands on his hips. "You were right, Roper. The foals we'll get from her will show up alt the other horses in the territory," he said, as if Victoria had never spoken at all. Her lips tightened, but a wife didn't argue with her husband in public. There would be time later.
"She's strong and fast," Jake agreed noncommittally.
Still McLain stood there, his eyes narrowed and sort of glittery. "Uh---where are you going on your ride?"
"I thought we'd head toward the river, then circle around to the north a little."
McLain nodded. "How long you think you'll be gone?"
Jake's face was impassive, the way it always was when he was talking with McLain. It was the only way he could keep his hatred from showing. "Maybe a couple of hours."
"Take your time, take your time. There's a lot of ranch to see." He finally stepped back, but not before slapping Sophie's neck again. The horse neighed in protest and reared a little. Again Jake reached out protectively to aid Victoria, this time to catch her in case she came off the saddle. But Victoria remained firmly seated and settled Sophie down nicely herself. By the time the horse was quiet, McLain was striding back toward the house without even a glance in their direction.
The bastard. Jake's face was grim as he watched him leave.
They walked the horses across the yard, then kicked them into an easy canter. Jake watched both Victoria and Sophie, but the former was indeed a good horsewoman and the latter seemed inclined to behave. He relaxed and let himself begin to enjoy the ride. It was a beautiful summer day, and the woman he planned to make his own was beside him. Things like that could go to a man's head.
The river was about a mile from the house, a broad, shallow ribbon that glittered and gulped. "Why wasn't the house built closer to the river?" she asked. She thought it would have been the sensible thing, to be close to a water supply. There was a small creek that ran just behind the house, but it would disappear in dry weather.
"See how shallow it is? It floods every spring from the runoff." He pointed to the north, on his left. "See that stand of cotton woods on the riverbank? The river is about waist deep there. That's where we take our baths, in the summer, anyway."
The men bathed in the river? She felt ashamed of her ignorance, for she had assumed that they had bathtubs for their convenience. If she had thought, she would have realized that it would have been a never-ending job to haul and heat enough water for as many men as worked on the ranch.
"How many men are there?"
"A little over a hundred."
"That many? I wouldn't have guessed."
"Only about half of us are at the hacienda at any given time. The others are out at line shacks or on the ranch. The ranch is over half a million acres."
She was astounded by the size. No one had bothered to tell her before, and she was too shy to ask, in case it sounded like avarice on her part. But she had trusted Jake enough, and what he'd told her boggled her imagination. The thought of being surrounded by so much space frightened her, but she also felt a sense of exhilaration. She looked back in the direction from which they'd come, but the hacienda was hidden from view by both a thick stand of trees and the lay of the land. Except for Jake, she was alone, more alone than she could ever remember being before. There was the sun and the earth, the river, the wind, the magnificent horse beneath her, and it felt wonderful. She couldn't wait until she could begin riding on her own, and said as much.
He snorted. "Woman, use your common sense! You can't go riding out here alone, not ever."
She started to snap that she'd do whatever she pleased, but her common sense did indeed assert itself as she realized he knew much more about this wild, beautiful land than she did. So she said calmly, "Why?"
"The hacienda has been here for a long time, but that doesn't mean the land is civilized. If you get tossed off out here and your horse runs away, it means a helluva lot more than walking a half-mile to a neighbor's house. There aren't any neighbors. There are bears, mountain lion, and snakes to watch out for. Not only that, there are occasional Indian raids on the cattle, though it isn't as bad now that the Navaho are on the reservation. They'd steal your cattle while you were looking at them. There are drifters wandering through, and some of our own men aren't fine, upstanding citizens, in case you haven't noticed. It wouldn't do for you to be caught out here on your own."
"When will you have Emma's and Celia's horses trained? Then I'll be able to ride with them."
"Celia's horse has been ready, but I haven't told her because she'd be hell-bent and determined to take off on her own." They shared a look of complete understanding, and Jake smiled ruefully. "She's already been pestering me to let her ride astride like a man."
Victoria looked horrified. "What did you tell her?"
"I told her her skirts would get in the way, and she'd have to ask you for permission anyway." His eyes were bright with amusement.
"Thank you very much," she said tartly, but couldn't help smiling. "What about Emma's horse?"
"Miss Emma's gelding won't be any trouble, either. It was just this lady I was worried about."
"She's behaving perfectly."
"So she is. It makes me nervous."
Victoria threw back her head and laughed, exposing her white throat and dislodging the hat; it dangled down her back, suspended by the cords from her neck. Still chuckling, she reached back to retrieve it.
Jake couldn't stop looking at her; she was so bright and happy, the way she should be. He felt that odd clenching in his chest again, then it eased into a throb.
He reined in and dismounted. She stopped laughing and looked at him in surprise as he came around and lifted her from the saddle. She grabbed at his shoulders, trying to stiffen her arms and hold herself away from him, but he let her slide down his body until her boots touched the ground. Her habit skirt caught on the buckle of his gunbelt, exposing her white petticoat. Her face flamed and she tried to jerk backward, but his hands were still on her waist and he pulled her against him as he bent his head.
He wasn't rough with her. His mouth was warm, the intrusion of his tongue slow and sweet. Victoria trembled, but she had experienced his kiss before and the temptation to know it again was too powerful. Her arms went around his neck and she welcomed the penetration of her mouth with shy, uncertain movements of her tongue against his. He shuddered, his arms tightening around her, and wonder filled her that she could make this man, dangerous as he was, feel the same hot, uncontrollable pleasure he aroused in her.
He stroked his hands up her back, and she arched into him like a cat. Jake quickly took advantage of the instinctive offering of her body and closed his hand over her breast. Victoria jerked, her eyes flying open. No one had ever touched her there; she tried to tear away from him, but he easily controlled the motion and continued his gentle caress.
"Stop!" she whispered. His hand burned her breast even through the layers of clothing, eliciting a shameful tightening in her nipple. She knew she shouldn't let him do this, knew she should never enjoy it, but she did. The hot pleasure intensified and a soft moan caught in her throat.
He reached up and removed his hat, then let it drop in the dust beside them. The sun glinted on the green in his narrowed eyes. "Why do you want me to stop?" he asked, his voice low and rough. His breathing was fast, his body taut.
"It isn't right." The excuse sounded feeble even to her own ears, but it was the excuse that had been drummed into her since the day she had gone to long skirts and left childhood behind. She had never before imagined that it would be so weak against the impulses of her own body.
Jake's expression didn't change as he stared down at her. "It doesn't get any righter, sweetheart." The truth in his own words struck him. He had held a lot of women, but none had felt as perfect in his arms as she did; none of them had made him feel at home. It was amazing how he could feel both so comfortable and so aroused at the same time.
"We have to stop." She knew she should withdraw her arms from around his neck and push him away, but there was something so primitively satisfying in standing there in the bright sun, in his arms, feeling the heat of his body and inhaling the scent of his skin, that she couldn't bring herself to step away.
"In a minute." His voice had roughened again, and her heart jumped as he bent toward her. Her strength was washed out on the tide of warmth that filled her, and her head fell back. He trailed biting kisses down her exposed throat, then back up to her mouth. He touched her other breast, and the same tingling assailed her again. A heavy ache began forming deep in her lower body; she squirmed unconsciously, her hips writhing against his, and he made a rough sound as he dropped his arm to circle her hips and grind her into him, rubbing the hard ridge of his manhood against her soft mound.
It had been nasty with the Major. With Jake, she wanted only to cling, blindly seeking more of this fevered pleasure. Her hands slid up into his sun-warmed hair, and she pressed her palms against his head to hold it down where she could take more of his kisses. His taste was heady, a mixture of coffee and tobacco, and his breath filled her, a mingling no less intimate than that of his tongue probing hers.
Sophie shifted impatiently, bumping into them. Jake raised his head. "You sorry jackass," he said hoarsely.
Victoria was breathing in fast gulps. She stepped back, her hands pressed to her face. In another minute she would have been lying down in the dust for him. That sure knowledge was so at odds with the way she had always thought of herself that she felt devastated; she had to admit to her own weakness now. She wanted Jake Roper in a carnal way she could no longer deny. She had been savagely jealous when she'd seen him making love with the tinker's daughter; just the thought of him made her heart beat faster while his presence pitched her to a state of intense awareness that was almost painful.
Dear God. She loved him.
She had always thought the state of love required long acquaintance with someone, a sure knowledge of personality and a basis of friendship. Now she knew that it could be forged from a base of lust, that liking wasn't necessary and that long-held standards crumpled before it.
His hair was tousled, his lips swollen, and his expression hard as he still dealt with his own arousal. He leaned slowly down to pick up his hat, as if every movement had to be careful. After he adjusted it on his head, he said, "I'll be damned if I apologize."
"No," she agreed in a whisper.
"It won't be the last time." He reached out and trailed one finger down her pale cheek. "You're gonna be my woman, but it won't be in the dirt, with the sun burning this pretty white skin. We'll be in bed, Victoria, with the door locked, and we won't have to worry about anyone interrupting."
The years of her mother's training shouted at her to deny his arrogant assumption that she was his for the taking, but she couldn't. She couldn't lie to herself, couldn't hide behind strictures that no longer held sway out here in this rough, wild land. She wanted him; she wouldn't pretend otherwise, even though it wouldn't, couldn't, happen.
She moaned inwardly and managed to whisper, "I can't. I'm married."
"Married!" He hissed the word. "You're married to a whoring, murdering bastard. How do you think he got this hacienda? Do you think he paid for it? He murdered the family it belonged to, the Sarratts; he raped Elena Sarratt before he put a bullet in her head. That's the man you want to be faithful to, the man who was in a whore's bed the day after you married him."
His words were like blows. Nausea twisted her stomach and she stumbled to her knees, bent over from the waist, gagging and heaving.
His face grim, Jake got his canteen and tugged his handkerchief free from his throat, then poured water over it. After capping the canteen, he knelt beside Victoria and gently wiped her face. She took the handkerchief and pressed it to her cheeks, trying to deal with the sickness that still roiled in her at the thought of such a man touching her. "How do you know about that family---the Sarratts?" she finally asked in a muffled voice.
"Word gets around." He held the canteen out to her. "Take a drink of water."
She swished water around in her mouth before spitting it out on the ground, then drank. She should be mortified, vomiting and spitting in front of a man, but somehow that seemed a petty concern after what Jake had just told her. She lifted her head and stared at him with shadowed eyes. "I can't stay here," she said flatly. "I'll get Emma and Celia and leave. I can't stay in the same house with him."
Jake cursed at the idea of her leaving. "No," he said.
She clutched his arm. "But I can't stay."
"You have to stay. I'm here, Victoria. I'll take care of you."
"What can you do? You're not in that house with him, you don't have to take your meals with him and look at his face, listen to him---"
"It won't be for much longer," he said. He hadn't wanted to tell her that much, but she had reacted more strongly than he'd anticipated to the truth about her husband.
Her dazed eyes focused on him. "What do you mean?"
"I mean that I've heard some rumors, and that's all I can tell you. Trust me, Victoria. Stay. I'll take care of you."
His green eyes burned into hers. For a moment she was as frightened of him as she was sickened at the thought of the Major; there was something hard in his eyes, as if he would stop at nothing to get his way. Yet he was the man she loved, dangerous as he was. If she left, she might never see him again. Pain clenched her heart at the thought.
"All right," she whispered. "I'll stay."
She could barely look at the Major that night at the dinner table. The food was tasteless in her mouth. She couldn't stop thinking what Jake had told her about her husband raping and killing that poor woman. She was cold with revulsion, her thought processes slowed by the grisly images that occupied her mind as plainly as if she'd actually seen it happen.
She took a sip of water. "This is an old house. Who owned it before you?" As soon as she heard the words she was appalled at herself. Why had she said that? Shock was making her stupid.
McLain stiffened and his ruddy face turned a curious gray color. "Why do you ask? Who's been talkin' about it?"
The only thing she could do now was pretend casual curiosity. She was aware of Emma's sharpened interest, but didn't dare look at her cousin. "No one. I was just wondering about the house. How old is it?"
He looked around the room with furtive eyes, as if assuring himself there was no one lurking in the shadows. "I don't know. You sure no one said anything about it?"
"Yes, I'm sure. It's Spanish missionary architecture, isn't it? It's lovely, and it must be at least two hundred years old. Don't you know?"
McLain took one more quick look around the room. No one had been talking about it; hell, there wasn't anyone left alive who knew about it except for Garnet, Quinzy, and Wallace, now that Roper had given Pledger his entry into hell. She was only asking because the house was old; Southern aristocrats like her put a lot of stock in old things.
"It's about that, I guess," he muttered, and wiped his forehead with his napkin.
"What was the name of the family who owned it before?"
"I don't remember." He said it too quickly.
Juana had entered with Lola to clear the table and heard Victoria's question. She shot the Major a hate-filled look and said, "Sarratt, señor. The family's name was Sarratt."
He bolted to his feet, his face flushing with rage. "Don't mention that name to me, you goddamn bitch!" he roared, sweeping his plate to the floor with a quick motion of his thick arm. "Get out! I'll kill you! Goddamn it, I'll teach you to meddle in things that're none of your goddamn business---"
Juana ducked as he reached for her, but he grabbed her arm and slapped her across the face with all his considerable strength. Lola shrank back, her fists crammed against her mouth to keep her wails stuffed inside. Juana was screaming and would have fallen from the force of the blow if he hadn't been holding her by the arm. Celia shrieked, her face white, and Emma was rising to her feet.
Icy rage exploded in Victoria. She could gladly have struck her husband down in that moment had she the means at hand. She lunged forward as he lifted his arm to strike Juana again and caught him by the wrist, her fury giving her sufficient strength to thwart him.
"Mr. McLain!" Her voice was cold and ferocious. Her blue eyes looked almost colorless as she stared at him, like ice pools around tiny pinpoints of black.
For a moment she thought he would strike her, too, he was so enraged at being balked in his intention to punish Juana. He turned on her with a snarl, but she stood her ground, her face white and her jaw set.
He froze, staring at her as the red color drained from his face. Slowly he let his arm drop.
"How dare you." She had to push the words through her clenched teeth; they were scarcely more than a hiss. "Those are neither the words nor acts of a gentleman. You have shamed and embarrassed me." Instinctively, she settled on the attack that would hit him at his most vulnerable point, his pretensions of respectability. Puny though it was, it was the only weapon she had against him.
He reddened again and darted a look at Emma and Celia, who were both staring at him in horror. Damn! The way the girl was looking at him now, she wasn't likely to let him get close enough to touch her, much less bed her. And Victoria was staring at him as if he'd just crawled out from under a rock, her patrician nose pinched in disgust.
It was all that Mex bitch's fault, throwing up the Sarratts to him, making him lose control. If he'd ever been able to find the hole that snot-nosed Sarratt whelp had crawled into when he died, he'd have spit on the carcass. But maybe he wasn't dead... He thought of the knife in his library again, which reminded him of that flashing knife and the boy's hate-filled eyes.
He felt as if his skin were swelling, as if he might burst. He looked at the silently accusing women, and their stares were like more knives, flashing in the darkness. He whirled and stormed from the room, walking so quickly he was nearly running.
Juana's sobs were quiet but they echoed in the silence left by McLain's exit. Victoria put her arms around the girl. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm sorry."
Juana sobbed brokenly.
"Are you hurt?" Victoria asked.
The question affected Juana strangely. She gulped her sobs, raised her bloodshot eyes to meet Victoria's concerned gaze and said in an unsteady voice, "He'll hurt you."
"No, he will not." Victoria straightened, her blue eyes fierce. Things had changed; she wouldn't tolerate that monster's presence in her bedroom if he did happen to try... that again. She would scream the house down, she would vomit if he dared touch her. She would leave, take her family and leave in the morning.
But Jake had said to stay. He'd said he would take care of her. He had said it might not be for much longer.
What had he meant? That he was making plans himself to take them away from here?
The thought terrified her, but she knew she would take the chance. Running away with another man would brand her forever no matter what the circumstances were or the fact that her husband was a murderer. She would be ostracized from polite society, and the thought of it made her go cold, but what did that mean out here? Not as much as the thought of Jake. He frightened her, he infuriated her, but he made her feel so alive that she ached with the force of her own blood coursing through her body. To be with him without the benefit of marriage would cast her soul into mortal danger; to be without him would condemn her to death in life. He had become more important to her than her own life, and that, more than anything else, was what frightened her.
She calmed Lola; Juana herself had become rigidly dry-eyed and held herself away from comfort. "The Major won't do anything," Victoria assured them. She hoped she wasn't lying. Here was another responsibility; she would have to make certain they didn't suffer for her actions. She wondered how Jake would feel about having an instant household of six women, and smiled wryly. Whatever his plans, she was sure he wasn't prepared for that.
"Return to your duties," she said soothingly, patting Juana's shoulder. "I promise he won't do anything, and if he tries, scream for me."
Lola put her arms around Juana, who stiffly allowed the embrace. The red imprint of McLain's hand was turning into a dark bruise on Juana's face. Lola led her into the kitchen.
Celia's face was shuttered, she who was the most open of people. "I'm going to bed," she murmured, and fled the room.
Emma turned to look after the girl in astonishment and started to follow her, then stopped and turned back to Victoria. "Come up to my room," she said. "We can talk there."
Upstairs, they both seated themselves on the bed to talk as they had been doing since they were children. "Why did that happen?" Emma asked, going straight to the heart of the matter.
Victoria clenched her fists as she remembered what Jake had said; now she knew beyond any possible doubt that every horrible word of it was true. "Jake told me that the Major stole this ranch from the Sarratt family, by killing all of them. He said that the Major raped the woman---I don't remember her name---and then shot her in the head."
Emma turned white at Victoria's even-toned statements. "If it's true---" she gasped. "My God, you actually asked him about the Sarratts---"
"I wanted to see how he'd react." Her eyes burned. "My husband is a murderer, a rapist, and a thief. It was true, everything Jake said."
"What are we going to do?" Emma got up and began to pace the room. "We can't stay here, but how are we going to leave? I doubt Major McLain would lend us the money and use of his buggy. We'll have to think up some reason for going to Santa Fe again, and we'll leave from there, somehow."
"I can't leave. Not yet."
Emma gaped at her. "Why? You said yourself, he's a rapist and a murderer! How can you stay?"
"Jake---Jake asked me to stay."
"Ah." With that one syllable Emma signaled her understanding of everything. She paused, thinking through their situation. When she finally spoke, it was to say softly, "Victoria, you know I'll give you my support in any way you need it. You've always been the strong one, the one who somehow kept us all fed when there was no food. We might not even be alive today if you hadn't had the courage to sacrifice your happiness to marry the Major. But how can we stay? Why doesn't Jake simply leave with us?"
"I don't know." Anguished, Victoria stared at her cousin. "Perhaps he's planning to take us away; he only asked me to stay and said that it wouldn't be for long."
"Do you trust him?"
"Do I have any choice? He's the only protection we have." She could have trusted him if she thought he was doing it out of regard for her or even out of a sense of right and wrong, but she still had the uneasy feeling that he was doing it for his own reasons, and that they had nothing to do with justice or herself at all.
McLain was sweating profusely, his eyeballs moving swiftly back and forth beneath his closed lids. In his dreams he had just withdrawn from Elena's limp body when a hideous figure leaped at him from the black shadows in a corner of the room. It was the Sarratt whelp, with a wolf's head and glowing yellow eyes; instead of hands he had long, white, curving claws. He swiped at the Major's exposed genitals with those claws again and again, and in his dream McLain was screaming and rolling all over the room, but his body lay heavy and still in the bed, with only his hands twitching. The boy was tearing at his throat with dripping fangs, and the yellow eyes were glaring at him so close that McLain could see his own reflection in them. The claws finally reached his groin, and he screamed madly as his manhood was torn from his body---
He came awake with a jerk, his eyes flying open as he stared in terror around the dark room, expecting the hellish figure to leap on him from the corners. The shadows were expanding, pressing down on the bed. He couldn't move. He could only lie there, sweating, waiting for his own horrible death. His heart raced and the stench of his fear-sweat filled the room. The silence was unbroken by anything except his own labored breathing.
He was still after him. The bastard hadn't died. He was still out there, with his flashing knife, waiting for his chance, waiting to catch him alone, waiting...
Finally McLain summoned enough courage to stumble from the bed and light a candle. The frail, solitary flame illuminated only himself and cast the remainder of the room into even deeper shadows. He needed more candles, more light. An oil lamp---yes, that was what he needed. A couple of oil lamps.
His hands shaking, he found three more candles and lit them, putting them around the room to diminish the shadows. He wanted more, but he couldn't make himself open his bedroom door to go downstairs and get them. What if the Sarratt whelp was waiting, crouched, on the other side of the door? He'd just wait until daylight and make sure he had lamps in here before another night fell. If he just had enough light, there wouldn't be any shadows for the whelp to hide in and he would be safe.
Jake patted Sophie's rump as he walked behind her to let her know he was there, but he was still ready to leap out of the way of a well-placed kick. He didn't trust her manners that far. He noticed that she was showing signs of coming into season, and he decided not to ride his own horse on today's outing with Victoria. It would be safer if he rode another mare, for both Victoria and himself.
"You got that damn mare settled down yet?" McLain asked, walking up behind him.
Jake glanced at the man, noting his red-rimmed eyes and unshaven jaws. He looked as if he'd been drunk all night. The cold hatred that lived inside Jake hardened more, as it did every time he looked at McLain. "She'll do," he said. He didn't add that he doubted she would ever be docile; Sophie's spirit would always burn too hot for that. She would always be contrary and arrogant, and love to run. "She's coming in heat."
McLain grunted. "Try her out with another stallion tomorrow morning. If she's ready, put Rubio with her."
Jake gave a short nod. McLain shifted his feet. "You taking Victoria for a ride this morning?"
"I don't know." Every muscle tensed. He didn't want to talk about Victoria with McLain. He hated hearing her name come from the man's filthy mouth, hated knowing that she bore the McLain name.
"Show her around the ranch," McLain said abruptly. His eyes were glittering.
Jake shrugged. "Sure." McLain's insistence was a bit strange, but it was too convenient for Jake to worry about it.
"I'll send her out. Why don't you show her North Rock? She'd like that."
"The Rock's about a two-hour ride."
"You said she's a good rider; she can make it." McLain turned and hurried to the house. Jake's eyes narrowed as he watched him leave. This was strange. It was almost as if McLain were throwing Victoria at him, but for what reason?
Maybe that episode in Santa Fe with Pledger had made him suspicious; maybe McLain thought he could catch Jake being too familiar with his wife, and give him a reason to put a bullet through his head. No one would say a word about it; a man had a right to protect his family. The whole idea sounded just like something Garnet would think up.
Jake saddled Sophie and another mare; in less than half an hour Victoria appeared wearing her riding habit. She looked pale, but bright spots of color burned in her cheeks. She didn't look at him as he lifted her into the saddle.
"Where are we going?" she asked once they were away from the house.
"No place in particular. Just riding." The last place he was going was to North Rock.
"I didn't want to ride today."
He eyed her consideringly. She seemed more upset now than she had the day before. Damn her lady's conscience; whenever she had time to think, it undid whatever progress he'd made with her. Anger, still close to the surface after his meeting with McLain, roiled inside him. He'd be damned if he'd let her back away from him again. "Because of what happened between us yesterday?" he asked in a hard voice.
"Nothing happened!" She bit her lip, ashamed of her swift disclaimer because it wasn't true. Hiding from what she felt wouldn't make it go away.
"The hell it didn't, lady," he snapped, reining the mare he was riding closer to Sophie.
She finally cast him a quick, desperate glance. His green eyes were glittering dangerously under the shadow from his hat brim. "I know," she said, and swallowed. "I'm sorry. It's just---" She swallowed again. "I asked him last night who owned the ranch before him. He wouldn't answer, and when Juana said the Sarratts had owned it he became violent and hit her." The words were jerky, her voice strained. "It's true, what you said, or he wouldn't have acted like that. I can't stand being here, living in the same house with him. How much longer will it be, Jake? Are you going to take us away from here? I'll go anywhere you want if we can just leave."
She stopped her tumbling flow of words, waiting for him to tell her that they would leave soon. But he was glaring at her and the silence was filled only by the sound of the horses' hooves and breathing, the jingling of bits and creak of leather. She floundered in a sea of agonized embarrassment. Had she so completely misread him? Had he not meant, after all, that he'd take them away?
"Don't mention the Sarratts to him again." Jake's voice was as hard and dry as an empty riverbed.
Victoria went even whiter. She lifted her reins and nudged Sophie with her heel, urging her to greater speed. With Sophie, it didn't take much urging. She leaped forward as if propelled by a spring, and Victoria was glad of the mare's excess of spirit. She wanted nothing more than to get away from Jake Roper, from having to look into his face and see her own stupidity.
Jake cursed and spurred his horse after her. If the mare he was riding hadn't been a quarterhorse bred for speed over the short distance, he wouldn't have overtaken her as quickly as he did. When he drew even with Victoria, he leaned over and snatched the reins from her hands, easing Sophie to a slower pace.
"Don't try that again," he snapped, angered by the risk she had just taken. She didn't know the speed of which Sophie was capable, or how headstrong the mare was.
"Or you'll do what?" she shouted, shoving at his arm. "Let go!"
He gritted his teeth. "Victoria, settle down," he said with sorely strained patience, trying to hold on to his temper.
Even through his anger, he was a little amazed at her defiance. From the first, she had dared him when even armed men walked softly around him. The lady might be straitlaced, but she wasn't a coward.
She dropped her hand and turned her face away from him. "I apologize." Dear heaven, how many times was she going to have to apologize to him today? As mortifying as it was, she might as well face it. "I misinterpreted your words yesterday. I thought you meant that we---" She stumbled to a halt, unable to find a phrase that left her any dignity.
All he could see was the pale curve of her cheek. "You didn't misinterpret a goddamn thing," he said low.
The look she gave him was so uneasy that he wanted to take her in his arms right then, but they were still too close to the house. He'd be a fool to take that kind of a risk, especially now with Ben on the way. If he just remained patient, he'd have both her and the ranch, but the strain was so intense that his powerful hands were knotted into fists. "Let's get farther from the house," he muttered. "I know a place we can go."
Her heart thudded painfully against her ribs, but she followed him. He was as much an enigma to her now as he had been the first day she'd met him, and she was terrified that she was putting not just her life but also Emma's and Celia's in his hands. He was a gunfighter, a man who made a living by dispensing death. She couldn't read his thoughts, couldn't feel that she knew him as anything other than unpredictable. But she would rather be with him and in danger than live a safe life without him.
They rode without speaking at an easy pace for half an hour. They were in a lovely, narrow valley, carpeted in yellow snakeweed. A crown of aspens stood on top of the hill, waving gently in a breeze they couldn't feel down in the valley. Jake led them toward the aspens.
When they were among the trees, he reined in and dismounted. "No one can see us in here," he said, reaching up to clasp her waist and lift her down. He didn't add that the high ground made it hard for anyone to approach unseen, either; no point in scaring her when his suspicions might be unfounded. His first urge, feeling her slim body in his hands, was to pull her close and take his fill of her. Her faint, sweet scent teased him. His loins hardened and grew heavy to the point where he almost didn't care that now wasn't the time or the place. It wouldn't take long to flip up her skirt if that was all he wanted, but he wanted more than a few minutes of rutting. He wanted all of her, he wanted to drown himself in her sweetness, wanted it too much to risk ruining his plans by pressing her too hard.
He carefully tied Sophie's reins to a tree limb, though he trusted his own mount to remain with just a ground tie, letting the reins drag on the ground. Victoria still avoided looking at him, at least until he reached out and took her hand, carrying it to his mouth for a brief kiss. Then she gave him a brief glance full of distress, and he wondered what she was thinking. He'd never before met a woman who had such a multitude of prickly morals, like a cactus. She was still living in a fantasy world ruled by courtly manners; what did it take to open her eyes and make her realize that life in the West was rough and the only rule was to stay alive by any means necessary?
"Let's sit down," he suggested, and with his boot scraped together a mound of pine needles. She sank down on the pile, carefully arranging her skirt to cover her low, dainty boots. He sprawled beside her and propped himself on his left side so his right hand and arm were free.
"I'm making some plans," he said after a minute. "I'll get you away from McLain, but it'll take a little time."
She picked up a stick and drew it through the dirt. "What about Emma and Celia?"
"Them, too." No problem at all, he thought. Of course, she didn't know that his plans were to replace McLain, not to leave.
"How long will it be?" she whispered. "I can't bear it much longer."
"I don't know exactly. You'll have to be patient until it's time." It was almost intolerable, letting her walk into that house as McLain's wife, and if it was that bad for him, how must Victoria feel? But she had to for now. He'd make it up to her afterward, when the ranch belonged to him and Ben again.
She turned her head away from him, wondering how he could ask that of her if he felt even half as strongly about her as she did about him. The hard answer to that question, she was afraid, was that he didn't. Pain squeezed her insides, but she kept her eyes dry and her chin steady; whining wouldn't do any good. If he didn't love her, then he didn't love her. At least he wanted her enough to be with her, which gave her the chance of eventually winning his love.
Jake caught her chin in his gloved fingers and turned her face toward him. "Don't pout," he said with a hard edge in his tone. "I'm doing what I can and you'll just have to be patient."
"I'm not pouting," she said.
"Then stop turning your head away from me."
She looked at him directly then, blue eyes steady under her level dark brows. "I don't know anything about you, or understand anything. I think I'm entitled to a certain amount of worry."
His mouth tightened. "I don't rightly see how you can say that after yesterday. There's something between us, Victoria. Whether you 'understand' it or not. Why the hell else would I put myself out to help you?"
"I don't know. That's what worries me." She saw a flicker of expression in the dark green of his eyes, but it was gone before she could read it. "You keep so much of yourself hidden, no one can get to know you. I feel as if I'm putting myself in your hands without knowing anything about you."
"You know I want you."
Her blue eyes looked bruised. "Yes," she said. "I know that."
He wanted to feel her skin and he impatiently pulled off his gloves, then touched her face again. His fingers delved into her hair, while his thumb stroked the velvety texture of her cheek. The sunlight filtering through the trees dappled her hair; he trailed a strand through his fingers, picking out shades ranging from palest gold to auburn to light brown. Her skin looked almost translucent, while her eyes were shadowed with secrets he couldn't fathom. A surge of lust heated him so fully that he broke out in a sweat. God, he had to have just a little of her, a taste, a feel, or he'd explode.
"Don't worry about anything," he muttered, hooking his hands under her arms and pulling her toward him. "I'll take care of you. Just trust me, and don't say anything to anyone." His mouth closed over hers, and Victoria found that while he was holding her, at least, she didn't worry about anything at all.
Celia heard someone coming and quickly scrambled into her hiding place in the loft, afraid that it was Garnet trying to catch her alone as Victoria had warned her he might. She was as agile and silent as a cat as she stretched out to press her eye to a crack in the floor.
It wasn't Garnet, she saw; it was the Major, slowly walking the length of the barn and peering in all the stalls. "Celia," he softly called, his tone cajoling. "Are you in here? I've got something I want to show you."
She didn't move, except for closing her eyes to blot him out of her sight. She could barely stand to look at him anymore; there was something about him that she found repulsive, though she couldn't have explained exactly what it was. It was as if there was a dark cloud surrounding him, a darkness of evil. At first she had tried to like him, for Victoria's sake. But she'd failed and now it was all she could do to tolerate even being in the same room with him.
"Celia," he called again. "Come here, girl. Let me show you something."
A cold chill ran over her body. She didn't move as she watched him leave the barn, his head swiveling as he looked for her. She would stay hidden until Victoria returned.
The Major had said they were riding to North Rock, but Garnet was a fair hand at tracking and from what he saw they weren't even heading in the same direction as the Rock. He followed carefully, making certain he didn't chance upon them before he knew it. They had ridden into a valley and he hesitated to follow them there; they would be able to see him from any vantage point. Taking the chance that they would return the same way, he picked his spot, hiding his horse below a small crest and choosing a huge clump of boulders the size of a small house as his own hiding spot.
He kicked a few small pebbles out of his way and sat down. With his rifle resting in a small notch in the rock, his hat tilted to keep the hot sun out of his eyes, he waited.
Sophie shied restlessly when Jake settled Victoria in the saddle, and he briefly considered putting her on his own mare instead. But after her little sideways dance Sophie settled down. "Keep a good grip on the reins," he said as he swung into his own saddle. "She's flighty today."
Victoria leaned down to pat the satiny neck. "She seems all right."
"She's coming in heat."
Victoria blushed. "Oh," she said faintly.
Jake led the way out of the trees, bending low to avoid limbs and keeping a sharp eye on Sophie to make sure she didn't try to brush Victoria off. Sophie mouthed the bit impatiently, not liking it that the other mare was in front of her. Without waiting for Victoria's instruction, she lengthened her stride until she was half a neck in front and plunged out of the treeline with every intention of taking the run that had been denied her.
Victoria held the reins steady, pulling back enough to let Sophie know she wanted her to slow down but not enough to hurt her soft mouth. The mare snorted, shaking her head at the pressure. Jake kneed his mare up beside her. "Can you hold her?"
"Yes. She wants to run. Why don't we let them have some fun?"
Remembering how Sophie could run, he shook his head. "This horse can't keep up with her. Just hold her in; we'll let her run one day when I'm riding my stallion."
Several things happened simultaneously. Sophie, impatient with the restraint, reared a little and twisted away from Jake's mare. Victoria was slung to the side, but managed to retain both her seat and the reins. Jake cursed and leaned forward to grab her bridle as a sharp crack split the air ahead and just to the right of them.
Victoria barely registered a swift buzzing sound when Jake lunged from his horse, his momentum taking him clear across Sophie and knocking Victoria to the ground with him. She landed on her back and for a moment saw nothing but black and scarlet spots. Just as her vision began clearing, Jake grabbed her and jerked her roughly across the ground to a clump of bushes. "Stay here," he snapped.
She hadn't any choice; she couldn't manage to move with any coordination. In a daze she watched him run for his horse and jerk the rifle from its scabbard. Then, bent low, he ran back to her.
"Are you all right?" he asked, not looking at her. He was scanning the rest of the valley.
"Yes," she managed to say, though she wasn't certain. She noticed the red stain on the light blue of his shirt, and shock propelled her to a sitting position. He'd been shot! Someone was shooting at them.
"Let me see your arm," she said, scrabbling for the handkerchief in her skirt pocket.
He didn't look around. "It's all right, just a burn. It didn't go in."
"Let me see," she repeated stubbornly, getting to her knees and reaching for him.
He pushed her down and gave her a brief, cold glare. "Stay down. He could still be watching."
Victoria set her mouth and hooked her fingers in his belt, then tugged. He lost his balance and sat down beside her. "Damn it---"
"He might shoot you again! You're a larger target than I am."
Jake's eyes were like splintered ice. "He wasn't shooting at me. If that damn horse hadn't shied, you'd be dead."
She stared blankly at him. Why would anyone want to shoot her? "Someone was probably hunting." That had to be it; she couldn't imagine, couldn't let herself think that it was anything else.
He grunted. "Any hunter who's that piss-poor of a shot is going to die from hunger. There's no way two people mounted on horses look like a couple of deer or anything else but what they are." He pulled his pistol from the holster and handed it to her. "Do you know how to shoot?"
She had handled single-shot dueling pistols; during the war it had seemed wise to know something about weapons. She closed her hand around the worn handle and lifted the heavy weapon. "Some," she whispered.
"Then shoot anybody you see, except me," he instructed. Then he was gone, slipping around the clump of bushes and out of sight.
She sat immobile, alert to every small sound. His mare was peacefully cropping grass a short distance away, but she couldn't see or hear Sophie. Birds called, insects hummed, and a light wind sifted through her hair. It was almost an hour before she heard him call, "It's clear." She scrambled up to see him walking toward her, leading Sophie.
"Whoever it was is gone," he said. "He shot from those big rocks. Must have waited for a while, from the signs. Just one man, and his tracks head straight toward the river." Tracking would still be possible, if he had the time, but he didn't. He had to get Victoria back to the ranch. He'd look around afterward, but by then whoever had done it would have had plenty of time to wipe out his tracks.
She insisted on checking the seeping burn on his upper arm and tied her handkerchief around it. Her cheeks were pale but she hadn't screamed or gotten hysterical even when he'd knocked her out of the saddle. Her hair was straggling half down her back, she was dusty from head to boot, and her skirt was torn. She didn't look much like a lady now, but the steel in her backbone was unbowed. He didn't know who had tried to kill her, but he was damn sure going to find out. Then there'd be one bastard less on this earth.
Jake walked into the dining room while they were ting dinner. He didn't look around, because he hated to see this house and know that McLain lived in it. He looked straight at Victoria, his face grim, and knew by her expression that she hadn't said anything about what had happened. He didn't know why, but it wasn't his concern.
"Somebody shot at Mrs. McLain today," he announced abruptly to McLain, who had looked up in surprise at his entrance. "If her horse hadn't shied she'd have been killed."
McLain's face turned dark red. "Shot at her! There ain't nobody on the ranch who'd shoot at my wife."
"I found where he waited. Somebody tried to kill her. No mistake."
Celia was very still in her chair, her gaze unreadable but riveted on McLain. "It was the Sarratts," she said in a small, clear voice.
McLain jerked, then swiped his plate to the floor with a motion of his thick forearm. He half-rose to his feet, his eyes bulging from his head as he glared down the table at the girl. "It ain't the goddamn Sarratts!" he bellowed. "They're dead, all of them!" His voice was both fierce and desperate, too, as if he didn't believe his own words. He slammed his fist down on the table, making their plates and glasses jump and rattle. "That goddamn Duncan Sarratt and his bitch of a wife, they're both dead, and their two half-Mex whelps with them! They're dead, I tell you!"
Jake controlled the urge to put his pistol to the man's head right now and be done with it. Hate blinded him to the Major's obvious fear. The strength it took to control his rage left Jake so raw he could barely speak. "I don't want the women out riding until I find whoever it was. I went out this afternoon and trailed him as far as the river, but it got dark before I could find where he left the water. I'll try again tomorrow."
"Find him," McLain said, breathing heavily to control his rage. "And kill the son of a bitch."
Jake nodded at the women and left as abruptly as he'd entered.
McLain was still blowing air like a bull, his bloodshot eyes fastened on nothing. Victoria quietly excused herself and hustled Celia out of the room. When they were out of earshot, she grabbed her sister's arm. "Why did you say that?" she whispered fiercely. "You saw how he got last night when Juana mentioned their name!"
Celia looked up, her expression raw. "I hate him. I wanted to see him afraid, like he was last night. I hate him!" She tore loose and ran up the stairs to her room, where she slammed the door.
Emma was standing behind Victoria when she turned around; her cousin's face was white and drawn. She was shaking. She looked at Victoria with something close to terror in her fine eyes. "Why didn't you tell me?" she asked in a taut voice. "My God, someone tried to kill you!"
"And failed, though Jake was wounded in the arm. I didn't want to worry you." Nor had she wanted to talk about it. Beneath her surface calm, she felt frightened and vulnerable. Something was going to happen and she didn't understand what or why; she only sensed the increasing instability of their lives.
"We have to leave here," Emma said.
"I can't!" Victoria started to speak again, then motioned with her head for Emma to follow her. She didn't want to take a chance on anyone overhearing them talk. They went to Emma's room and firmly closed the door. Victoria walked to the window. "We went over this last night. I can't leave without Jake."
Emma sat down on the bed and clasped her hands. "Do you love him?"
It sounded as shocking now as it had the first time she'd said it to herself. She was a married lady, a Waverly from Augusta; he was a hired gun, a man who killed without a flicker of emotion. It was still shattering to realize how little any of those things mattered. "Yes."
"Does he love you?"
"He---he wants me."
It was hard to evade Emma. "But does he love you?"
"No." The admission filled her with pain. She had seen lust in his eyes, but not love.
"Then how can you afford to risk your life to stay near him?"
"Would you have left Jon?" Victoria asked in a choked voice. "Even if you had known that he didn't feel the same way about you as you felt about him, could you have left him?"
Emma's lips trembled and she stared down at her hands. "No," she finally said. "No, I couldn't."
"Then you know why I'm staying. You and Celia can leave, go back to Augusta."
"I won't leave you, either. And you know there's nothing for us back in Augusta."
And maybe nothing here, in this wild, hard, beautiful land, except death at the hand of someone who had some reason for wanting her dead. Out here, it seemed, that reason didn't have to make much sense.
"If something happens to me, I want your promise that you'll take Celia and leave immediately."
Emma stared at her, white-faced. "Don't let anything happen," she whispered in reply.
After leaving Emma's room, Victoria tapped on Celia's door. She found her sister sitting quietly by the window, staring out at the courtyard. She didn't look up and smile as she usually did.
Victoria put her hand on Celia's shoulder, wondering what had happened to take the happiness from her eyes and leave behind that strange remoteness. "Is anything wrong?" she asked in a gentle tone.
A shiver racked Celia's slender body. "He was calling me," she whispered. "Like you'd call a cat. It scared me and I hid in the loft. I watched him through a crack in the floor, sneaking around, looking in all the stalls and calling my name. I hate him. I wish the Sarratts would kill him."
Victoria's throat was tight with fear. "Who?" she asked. "Garnet?"
Celia looked up at her, dark blue eyes fierce with mingled fear and hatred. "No. The Major."
Victoria lay awake that night, too tense to sleep. She simply couldn't keep her eyes closed. She stared at the ceiling, wondering if she was making the right decision in staying, if she had any right to subject Emma and Celia to such danger. But did she have any choice? Lying there sleepless, she swore an oath: if the Major touched Celia or hurt her in any way, she'd kill him herself.
The connecting door opened, and her entire body went cold. She turned her head to look at the thick-set figure swaying in the doorway. Dear God, no...
"Is he in here?" McLain asked, slurring the words. The stench of whiskey emanated from him.
She wet her lips and eased into a sitting position. What did he mean? Had someone seen Jake kissing her? She stared at him, tensing her muscles to jump up and run if he came any closer. "Who?"
"Sarratt. That damn basserd. Is he in here?"
She could barely understand his words. "No." Her throat was tight. "No one is in here. You can see."
"He's trying to kill me, an' he'll kill you, too, jus' to get even with me. Nothin' a Sarratt would like better than to get his hands on my woman." He sounded almost boastful as he swayed back and forth, a willow in an invisible wind.
"The Sarratts are all dead. You said so."
He laughed, a strange, cackling laugh. "Yeah, but mebbe not. Mebbe not. Never could find the boys' bodies. Did you know that? Never did find their bodies. If Sarratt's back, he'll kill us all in our beds, especially you. That's jus' where he'd like to find you. Yep, in a bed. He'd enjoy plowin' you and listenin' to you scream, just the way his mama screamed... You sure he's not in here?"
Her throat was dry; she had to swallow before answering. "I'm certain."
"He won't be able to sneak up on me," McLain muttered as he backed into his own room. "I'm keeping a sharp eye out for him, and the lamps lit. Yeah, lots of lamps... no shadows." The door closed on his mutterings.
He had gone mad. Victoria stared at the door. She couldn't believe that he had a conscience, but his murderous past was coming back to him, twisting his mind. Even knowing he was insane she couldn't stop a chill; if it were true that one of the Sarratt sons had survived, she could understand that he would stop at nothing to wreak his vengeance on McLain, to destroy him and his family as he had destroyed the Sarratt family.
Someone had shot at her today. If it hadn't been for Jake... if Sophie hadn't acted up at just that moment...
Was someone trying to kill her as vengeance against McLain? She could easily imagine him having enemies.
He'd never found the boys' bodies.
If one of the Sarratts had survived, would he hate McLain enough to destroy an entire family, as McLain had done? Hate enough to deliberately set out to kill McLain's wife?
She shivered, because she knew the answer was yes.
The next morning Jake put Rubio in the pen with Sophie. The big red stallion squealed as he caught the mare's scent, and shoved his nose at her hind quarters. His erection was already jutting out from his body. Sophie danced nervously away, though she had stood still not half an hour ago while another stallion sniffed at her. Jake cussed her contrariness, but in a rueful, accepting tone. He'd already hobbled her front feet, so she wasn't going anywhere.
Rubio squealed again, this time angrily, and nipped the recalcitrant mare to teach her who was boss. Sophie's head whipped around and she nipped back, enraged. Rubio tried to mount her and she jerked away, neighing with fright. Had she been a wild horse she'd have been running across the hills in an effort to save her maidenhead, and the stallion would have run her down. Hobbled in the pen, though, Sophie didn't have much chance.
Rubio reared again and caught her arched neck with his teeth as he penetrated. Sophie screamed, shuddering under the stallion's weight and impact, but now she stood still for him as her instincts dictated.
Victoria heard the mare scream and concern puckered her brow. She put aside her sewing and walked to a window, but the angle was wrong and she wasn't able to see anything. Curious as to what was causing the uproar, wondering if Sophie was getting the best of Jake again, she went out on the patio and looked toward the barn.
Rubio was out of his stall and was attacking Sophie. Sheer panic shot through her and without thinking she began running toward the pen. She had always known that horse was a killer; something inside her went cold every time she saw him---
Then she saw Jake watching calmly, and a few of the other hands standing around. She saw Rubio biting Sophie's neck, saw the lunging thrusts of his hindquarters, and stopped as if she had hit a wall. Dear God! They were mating! Her beautiful, spirited mare was being mated to that vicious killer. It revolted her as much as the thought of McLain climbing into her own bed.
"Stop it!" She hadn't meant to yell, but the words burst out of her.
Jake turned his head. Victoria was standing halfway between the house and the stable, her eyes wide with horror. She began running toward him.
Some of the men were standing around to lend aid if needed, and he scowled as he realized he didn't want Victoria watching the horses mate, with the men watching her. He left the pen and strode toward her, catching her arms when she tried to bolt past.
"Stop him!" she gasped, trying to pull free of his grip. "Get him off her!"
He shook her a little, swinging her around so his body blocked her view of the horses. "I can't stop it. What's wrong with you?"
Her face was white, her eyes huge as she stared up at him. "I didn't want her bred," she said in a strangled tone. "You knew that. Not now. Especially not to him!"
Her missishness irritated him; it was common sense to put the best stallion on the best mare to get the best foals. His hands were rough as he turned her around and began forcing her back toward the house. "Did you think we'd breed her to some scrub?"
His fingers were biting into her arms; he was almost dragging her in his haste to get her inside, out of the sight of the other men. Some deeply possessive instinct was outraged that they had seen her witnessing a sexual act, even one between two animals. He didn't stop until they were on the patio. "Get back in the house. You shouldn't have come out here."
His total lack of understanding was like a slap in the face. She didn't expect sympathy, but she did expect at least an acknowledgment that she had a right to feel as she did. She pulled away from him and turned her head from the sights and sounds of the two horses mating. "I thought she was my horse," she said in a small, clear voice. "I didn't give permission for her to be bred."
"I suggested breeding her to Rubio before the Major ever bought her," Jake said impatiently. "That's the only reason he bought her, not to give you a pleasure mount. I talked him into letting me train her for you; otherwise you'd be riding something like Emma's gelding. We decided yesterday to put Rubio in with her. This isn't hurting her, and you'll have a fine foal out of her."
"No, I won't." Her eyes were clear and stark as she stared at him. "The Major will have a fine foal from her." Her back was rigid as she turned away from him to go into the house.
He clamped his hand on her shoulder and jerked her back around to face him, angered by the way she'd turned her back on him. "Stop acting like a fool. This isn't your precious South; we can't afford to let a good animal go to waste. Did you really think she was bought only for you to ride?"
Victoria lifted her chin, pride keeping her hurt from her face. She wouldn't have been so upset if it had been any stallion other than Rubio, but he'd scoffed at her objections to the horse. Her voice expressionless, she said, "I suppose I did. After all, Emma's gelding hasn't been used for ranch work, nor has Celia's mare."
"They aren't the same quality as Sophie." He tamped down his impatience and tried to get her to see reason. There was just no sense in this kind of behavior. "Like I said, this isn't hurting her. When I've found whoever shot at you yesterday and it's safe again, we can go riding just like before."
Her expression didn't flicker. "I'm afraid not, Mr. Roper," she said, and once again turned to enter the house. "I don't have a horse."
So it was Mr. Roper again, was it? Anger burned in his gut as he stalked back to the corral. The horses were finished, but none of the men would approach Rubio and Sophie was acting up whenever one of them got close to her. The unfamiliar situation had made her nervous, and a nervous Sophie was a biting Sophie.
Still fuming, he put Rubio back in his stall, patting the muscled red neck and telling the stallion what a good job he'd done. Rubio snorted, his ears back a little. Jake didn't turn his back on the horse as he left the stall and shut the door. If the foal's temperament was a mixture of sire and dam, he thought dourly, they might as well shoot it when it was born because no one would ever be able to ride it.
Sophie moved awkwardly away from him, lifting her hobbled feet high as if trying to step out of the rope. She had blood on her neck where Rubio had bitten her; it was black against her dark chestnut coat. Damn him, the stallion was always rough on a mare. Jake murmured soothingly to Sophie until she finally stood still and let him approach. He patted and stroked her, watching the wild look fade from her eyes. When he bent down to remove the hobble, she butted him affectionately with her head.
Damn it, was everything female just naturally contrary? He wanted to give Victoria a good shaking. She'd acted as if she would never be able to ride Sophie again and had taken it out on him.
Patience. He just had to have patience. But it was hard, and getting harder.
During the days that followed, Victoria didn't leave the house. Neither did Celia nor Emma. The three women passed the time with the mundane chores of everyday life, giving each other strained, silent looks but carrying on with an outward air of calm. What else could they do? Hysteria wouldn't solve anything.
Celia remained close to her sister and cousin, instinctively seeking the safety of their company. She could barely remain in the same room with the Major long enough to take her meals.
McLain looked increasingly awful as the days passed. His eyes seemed permanently red and swollen, his face haggard and unshaven. Victoria doubted that he was bathing, because a persistent sour smell clung to him. She could hear him at night, pacing on the other side of the door and muttering to himself, and the sound made her shiver. He was mad. She couldn't manage to feel any pity for him; this punishment seemed all too fitting to his crimes. But she did fear what could happen when he made the final descent and reality no longer had any meaning for him. He could convince himself that one of the Sarratt boys was in a room with them, and start shooting. Or, even worse, he might decide that she was the Sarratt woman, the one he had raped and murdered, and reenact his deed. She would rather be killed outright than endure his touch.
She didn't know how much longer she could bear it. The days were spent close to the house, making certain Celia was always watched, unable to ride out as she longed to do. The nights were also spent watching the connecting door, listening to the Major's increasingly crazy mutters and bursts of laughter. The very air was full of menace and she was helpless to escape it, because it was outside as well as in. No matter which way she turned, there was danger.
Narrow-eyed, Garnet watched McLain. The damn fool was going crazy, talking to himself about the Sarratts coming back to kill them all. Things hadn't worked out as he'd planned. He'd missed his shot with the woman, and since then she hadn't been riding at all. Damn Roper, too, while he was at it. Garnet had sweated until he'd been able to reshod his horse, knowing Roper had looked real good at the hoofprints leading away from the failed ambush. Now he couldn't get a shot at the woman, and McLain was getting the men all stirred up with his howling about Sarratts coming back from the grave to get them.
Maybe he should do what he'd originally planned and just kill the Major. At least it would shut him up. Only problem was he couldn't do that until he'd found some way to get rid of Roper. Garnet never allowed himself to think that he was actually afraid of Roper, he thought of it as caution, because the man was cat-quick with a gun and as mean as a wounded grizzly. Will Garnet prided himself on not being afraid of no man walking, but he also prided himself on being smart enough to know there were some people you just didn't mess with. Roper was one of them.
Jake Quinzy halted beside him, also watching the Major reel back toward the house. Quinzy spat in the dust before he spoke. "Major's gettin' spooky. I been here a long time, but I been thinkin' maybe it's time to be movin' on."
Garnet sneered. "That crazy talk about the Sarratts scare you?"
Quinzy spat again. "Don't reckon." His eyes were cold slits. "Don't reckon I like workin' for no crazy man, neither."
Garnet didn't like telling anyone his plans, but he needed Quinzy's gun. "The Major might not be around much longer."
Quinzy grunted and rolled that around in his mind. "You thinkin' of takin' over?"
"Don't see why not, do you?"
"No skin off me." He paused. "Unless you plannin' on hurtin' Miz McLain. Guess I'd have to part with you on that."
Startled, Garnet looked at him. He couldn't remember Quinzy balking at anything before. But now wasn't the time to buck him on it. Instead he said, "I got plans for the little sister, not Miz Roper. Good plans." He laughed.
Quinzy chuckled, too. "Yep, she is right purty, ain't she? Reckon the fuzz a-tween her legs is as yeller as her head?"
Just thinking about it made Garnet start breathing faster. That was something else he was mad about; he hadn't seen Celia leave the house in days. The women were holed up inside like Injuns were attacking or something.
"When you plannin' on makin' your move?" Quinzy asked.
"Don't know." Now he wished he hadn't said anything, because if he didn't do something it would make him look like a coward. On the other hand, he couldn't do anything until he could get at the Major's wife.
So all he could do was wait it out.
A lone, dusty rider approached the ranch late one afternoon, slumping in the saddle with fatigue. Angelina Garcia was the first to see him and her eyes brightened at the thought of having a new man, but she didn't move from her languid slump against the barn wall.
The next one to see the rider was one of the gunhands. He nudged Garnet, pointed out the stranger to him. Garnet looked without much interest; it was just another down-at-the-heel wrangler, one of the thousands who had poured west after the end of the war, drifting and looking for work.
Jake watched the man ride in and made no effort to speak or attract his attention. Time enough for that later. What the hell was he doing, riding in here like this? If anyone noticed their resemblance, people would get suspicious. But when the rider turned his head, Jake stifled a grin as he saw that the man had grown a short, dark beard. Smart.
Work was what the man asked about, and Garnet considered it. He didn't have to ask the Major every time he hired a cowpuncher because they tended to drift out as often as they drifted in. But, as dirty and tired as he was, this man didn't have the look of a cowpuncher. Maybe it was his eyes, cool and guarded; maybe he just looked a mite too comfortable with the iron strapped to his hip, the handle worn smooth with use. If he guessed right, this was a gunnie, maybe on the run. They could always use another gun, but the Major liked to look them over himself. Of course, the Major had been acting so loony lately, Garnet would be surprised if he could talk sense.
To hell with the Major. What he liked wouldn't make a difference much longer, anyway. "Yeah, find a place to bunk down," Garnet said. "You any good with that piece you're wearin'?"
"I'm alive," the man said flatly as he swung down from the saddle.
"How're you called?"
"Tanner." He offered just the one name, and Garnet didn't ask if it was the front or the back one. Hell, it probably wasn't his real name, anyhow.
Tanner took care of his weary horse before seeking any sort of comfort for himself. He watered and fed the animal, brushed the dust from its coat, and put it in an empty stall. Slinging his saddle onto his broad shoulder, he went in search of the bunkhouse.
Like all of the buildings except the wooden barn, the bunkhouse was made of thick adobe, so it was cool in the summer. Regardless of that, weather permitting, a lot of the men preferred to sleep outside rolled in their blankets. Tanner had his choice of empty bunks. They didn't look too dirty, and he didn't much care. He was so tired he thought he'd probably be able to sleep standing up. Figuring there wasn't anything he could do or find out that wouldn't wait until morning, he pulled off his boots, slid his .44 under the thin pillow, and went to sleep. He didn't feel the lumps in the mattress.
It was a little after
He walked to the corral and leaned against the fence while he finished the cigarette. Only then did he go into the stable to check on his horse, which was dozing comfortably. Still wandering, he next visited the barn.
"About time you woke up," a low voice said, and he turned to look at his brother.
"Anyone around?" Ben asked in an equally low voice.
"No." Jake had waited through the long hours to make certain no one entered the barn. Still, he and Ben walked deeper into the building, away from the doors. Rubio snorted and stamped a hoof, a signal that he didn't like being awakened.
"What the hell's going on?" Ben felt he was entitled to the ill-temper in his voice. "Your telegram said to get here as fast as possible, that things had changed. I started rounding up the men we've hired, then left the rest of it to Lonny with orders for him to get them here pronto, and I lit out. I damn near rode my horse into the ground, then I get here and everything seems quiet. I figured they'd found out who you are." He didn't say that he had halfway expected to find his brother dead, but both of them knew the consequences if anyone found out who they were before their men got there to back them up.
"The Major has got himself a wife."
"So?"
"So when he dies, she inherits."
Ben was silent as he absorbed what this meant to their plans. "Shit," he said.
"Yeah. She's a lady, young enough to be his daughter. Her cousin and little sister live here now, too."
"So what're we going to do? We can't kill an innocent woman."
"No, but a widow can remarry."
Again Ben was silent, thinking it through. "You'd marry her?"
"Can you think of any other way?"
"No, but there's another side to it, too. Will she marry you?"
"Yes," Jake said. Victoria was still pouting over that damn horse, but he'd held her in his arms and felt the strength of her response often enough to know he could make her do whatever he wanted.
"There's going to be some shooting when we take the ranch," Ben pointed out. "There's a chance the women might be hurt."
"Not if I can help it. When we have some backup, I'm going to call McLain out, make him face me. If I go up against him while you and the men watch the others, there shouldn't be any wild shooting."
"Hold it right there." Ben moved around to face his brother. "You're not going up against him alone."
"It makes sense."
"The hell it does. This is my fight, too, and I'm going to have it, not stand around while you take all the risks."
In the darkness Jake couldn't see Ben's face, but he didn't have to. There was no way he could keep Ben out of the fight. "All right. How long will it be before the men get here?"
"A few days, maybe a week. Lonny will push 'em hard."
A week at the most. Everything in Jake tightened at the thought of it finally ending. He wanted McLain dead so much it hurt. He wouldn't even let him be buried on Sarratt land. A week, then the land would be theirs again---and Victoria would be his.
"McLain's going loony," he said, rubbing the back of his neck. He was tired, but every nerve in his body had been jumping since he'd seen Ben ride up. "There's no way of telling what he'll do. He's started running around and babbling about the Sarratts coming back---"
Ben stiffened. "Well, hell, he's right, but how did he know?"
"He doesn't. That's just it. Every time something happens, he starts slobbering and muttering about the Sarratts getting him. If a steer dies, he thinks it's been poisoned. If he hears a shot, he thinks it was fired at him."
"Looks like the bastard's sins are coming home to roost, after all."
"The point is when we move we'll have to move fast. We'll have to come in at night quiet and slow. Most of the men are out with the herds at any one time, so we'll only have to deal with about a third of them here at the house. We'll take the bunkhouse first, and we'll have to do it without any shooting. When those men are taken care of, we can get the house. McLain sleeps in the big front bedroom." It had been their parents' bedroom. "We'll go in quiet and bring him out." Victoria would be in the bedroom, too, he thought. He didn't want to see her in bed with McLain, but he'd do whatever he had to do, even if it meant killing McLain in front of her.
Ben nodded. "We can't take a chance on anyone seeing our men, then. I'll leave in a couple of days to meet them. But once I leave, I won't be able to just wander back in without making Garnet suspicious. I'll hold the men at Parson's Pass. We can't move without knowing if you're ready or not, so you'll have to come tell us."
Jake didn't like the idea of leaving the ranch even for the four days it would take to get to Parson's Pass and back, but there was no other way. The women would just have to do what they'd been doing anyway and stay inside the house.
"This is the one and only meeting we can have," he said. "It's too risky; someone might see us together. From now on you don't know me."
Ben yawned. "Never saw you before in my life, feller," he said as he walked away.
"Who's that?" McLain asked suspiciously, looking at the new gunhand.
"Says his name's Tanner."
"Where's he from?"
"He didn't say, and I didn't ask." Garnet moved a step away from McLain; the man stank of sour whiskey.
McLain's eyes were even redder than usual, the pupils contracted to tiny points. "Get rid of him. I don't want any strangers around here. He might be one of Sarratt's spies."
"Don't be so goddamn stupid," Garnet snapped, abruptly out of patience. "We killed the little bastards, remember? I put lead in both of them."
Once McLain would have turned on him like a rabid wolf for talking back, but now he only wagged his head. "We never found their bodies. We looked, but we didn't find them."
"They're dead, I'm telling you! Shot up the way they were, no food or water, no way of getting to a doctor, there's no way they could have lived. You're worrying about damn ghosts and it's spooking the men."
McLain peered at him with owlish concern. "If they died, why didn't we ever see any buzzards? The buzzards would've found 'em even if we couldn't."
"They're dead, "Garnet hissed. "It was twenty years ago. You think they wouldn't have been back long before this if they'd been alive?"
There was no logic that could penetrate McLain's feverish certainty. "They waited until I got married. Don't you see? They want to kill my wife, the way I killed theirs."
"You didn't kill their wives, you killed their mama." Garnet thought he would explode with frustration. The idiot couldn't even think straight!
"But they can't kill my mama, so they're going after my wife!" McLain shook his head at Garnet's lack of understanding. "They're doing it because she's mine, see? But they won't get me; I'm keeping a lookout for them, every night, waiting. The bastards are gonna try sneaking up on me, but they'll be the ones surprised because I'm waiting for them."
"Jesus." Garnet looked at the man and shook his head, seeing the futility of arguing. He'd worked for McLain all these years because the Major had been even dirtier and sneakier and more brutal than he was himself, but now all he saw was a loony, stinking old man. McLain's deterioration had happened quick, but Garnet felt neither sympathy nor loyalty for him. While McLain had been strong, Garnet had run with him. Now that he was weak, Garnet planned to destroy him with no more compunction than he would squash an insect.
"Why don't you go back in the house and let me worry about the men," he told McLain. "I'm the foreman, ain't I?"
McLain gave a hollow chuckle. "Yeah, but I'm the boss and don't you forget it." He peered at Garnet with rheumy eyes. "You think I'm crazy, but you should be watching for them, too. They're after you just the same as they are me. You're the one shot their daddy."
Nodding at the indisputable truth of what he'd just said, McLain shambled back toward the house. He was tired, so tired from all the nights of keeping watch, but every time he slept he saw that damn little bastard coming at him with that knife. He didn't dare even lie down in his bed anymore, but sat up in a straight chair so that if he nodded off he'd fall and wake himself up. He didn't get much sleep that way, but neither did he dream.
Disgusted, Garnet turned his back on McLain's retreating figure. "Hey, Tanner!"
Ben walked up. "Yeah?"
"The old man's got a bee in his bonnet about you. Stay out of his sight."
"Sure." Ben started to walk off.
"Wait a minute."
Ben stopped and again said, "Yeah?"
"You done any work with that gun?"
"What kind of work?"
"Don't play dumb with me. You know what kind of work. You ever killed anybody for pay?"
Ben took a drag off his cigarette. "I reckon I've faced a few for my own reasons, but not for nobody else."
"You willing to hire out?"
"Depends."
"On what? How much money?"
"Nope. On who'll be on the other end of my barrel. There's some men it just don't pay to rile."
"You yeller?" Garnet sneered, hoping to goad him.
"Nope. Just careful. Are you just making conversation or have you got somebody in mind?"
Rather than answer directly, Garnet said, "What do you think of Roper?"
Ben bared his teeth around the cigarette. "Like I said, some men it don't pay to rile."
"You don't think you could take him?"
"Let's just say I'm not sure enough of it to risk my life on a fight that ain't mine." Ben walked off, careful to keep his cold rage from showing on his face. The son of a bitch wanted him to kill his own brother! But why? He didn't dare let himself be seen talking to Jake, to maybe find out a reason. All he could do was worry and feel his anger grow. If Garnet kept asking, sooner or later he'd find somebody willing to go up against Jake. Likely as not, it would be a back-shooter, and that worried Ben.
Twenty years they'd waited, and now the waiting crawled on his skin like ants. For the first time in twenty years he was home, standing on Sarratt ground, looking at the house where he'd been born and where his parents had been murdered. By God, nothing was going to stop them now, not Garnet or anybody else on this ranch, not even the woman inside that house who ultimately held the ownership of the kingdom in her hands. She would marry Jake because they wouldn't allow her any other course of action.
Ben wondered what she was like. He hadn't even asked Jake her name. He didn't think much of her, though, marrying a man like McLain. He'd watched the house as much as he could without being obvious, but he hadn't seen any woman who could possibly have been her. Three Mexican women, two middle-aged and one young, had come and gone from the house; they were obviously servants. Another young Mexican woman who apparently slept out back of the bunkhouse had hung around all morning eyeing him like a buzzard waiting for a steer to die. He'd heard her name was Angelina and she was lustily beautiful, but Ben was too edgy to be interested in the sex she was clearly offering him.
In fact, there was no point in hanging around. He'd made contact with Jake, satisfied himself that his brother was all right, and they'd planned where and when to meet. He might as well saddle up and ride out, give himself a little extra time to intercept Lonny and make certain their men didn't blunder too close to the ranch and alert McLain. Just as soon as he managed to get word to Jake that Garnet was looking to hire someone to gun him down, he'd leave.
He walked around after supper, just wandering and smoking like he had the night before. Jake was nowhere in sight, but he hadn't expected him to be. He just waited, put out his cigarette, and wandered some more. When he paused under a big cottonwood tree, Jake murmured, "Here I am."
The shadows under the tree hid them from view, especially since Jake was squatting with his back to the trunk. It was another moonless night and some clouds had drifted in to blot out the stars, making the night dark enough. Ben leaned back against the trunk, too, lifting one leg to plant his boot against the wood. "Garnet tried to hire me to kill you," he said, making certain his voice was too low to carry.
Jake grunted. "I've been watching my back since the day I got here."
"Why is he after you?"
"He's got a bad itch for the little sister and I won't let him scratch it."
Ben grunted. He couldn't see getting that worked up over one particular woman, but he had seen it happen to too many men for him to be surprised.
"I guess I'll take myself on out of here tomorrow, then. We'll wait for you."
"I'll be there."
"Keep watching your back."
"Yeah."
Ben rode out early next morning, without saying anything to anybody. He hadn't done any work to speak of, so he didn't ask for any pay. He just saddled up and left.
Jake didn't watch his brother ride out or say anything when Ben's departure was commented on later.
In two days he planned to follow him. Before he left, however, he had to see Victoria and tell her to stay in the house and make certain Emma and Celia did, too. But how the hell was he going to talk to her when she hadn't poked her nose outside in days?
He saw Emma the next day, late in the afternoon when she had stepped into the courtyard for a moment. He beckoned to her and she walked to the gate.
"How's Victoria?" he asked abruptly.
"Tired." Emma's face showed signs of strain, too.
"Why haven't any of you been outside?"
"It's safer inside." She gave him a wry smile, one that quickly faded. "You haven't found whoever shot at Victoria?"
"No. There's no sign. Is that why she's staying inside?"
"That, and to watch Celia."
"Why does Celia need watching? Any more than usual, that is."
Emma's eyes were black as she looked up at him. "The Major tried to get her alone in the barn." Once she would have been mortified at having to say such a thing to a man, but they had all changed in the short while they had been in the territory.
Jake cursed under his breath and didn't apologize. "I'm leaving in the morning," he said. "All of you stay in the house, away from Garnet---"
"Hey, Roper!"
Jake looked around to see Garnet walking toward them, looking suspicious. He nodded to Emma and walked away, leaving her biting her lip.
When Jake joined him Garnet jerked his head toward Emma, who was returning to the house. "Don't tell me you're gettin' sweet on her! But I guess she'd be the most grateful of the bunch, wouldn't she?"
Jake kept his face expressionless and didn't answer.
When there was no response, Garnet scowled. "What're you doing up here at the house?"
"Why're you asking?"
Dull red colored Garnet's face. "Because I'm the goddamn foreman, that's why, and everything on this ranch is my business!"
"Do tell." Jake walked away, his senses attuned to the man behind him, his skin crawling as he waited for the slightest sign that Garnet was reaching for leather. He was tense, ready to throw himself to the side and come up with his own hand filled with iron, but Garnet didn't move.
Emma kept her torment to herself all night. He was leaving. How on earth was she supposed to tell Victoria? It would break her heart, but she'd have to be told so she would know that they no longer had Jake's protection.
She was so angry on Victoria's behalf that she couldn't sleep and lay awake for hours. How could he leave after the things he'd said to Victoria, and the way he'd kissed her? Emma had instinctively trusted him and now she felt doubly betrayed, but knew that Victoria would feel even worse because she loved him.
Still, she couldn't stop herself from hoping that she had misunderstood him somehow, that his words had meant something else. That had to be it. She consoled herself with that thought and was finally exhausted enough to sleep.
Emma woke early and dressed without paying attention to what she was putting on. She would go down to the bunkhouse and ask Jake exactly what he'd meant. She hurried out of the house, not letting herself think how improper it was for her to go alone to the bunkhouse. But the hands always began work with the dawn and she didn't think anyone would still be abed.
The early morning air was cold, but warming rapidly as the sun came over the horizon. Emma hugged her arms to herself and increased her pace. When she reached the bunkhouse she knocked on the closed door, but couldn't hear any noise from inside. She knocked again just to be safe, then eased the door open. The big, dreary, low-ceilinged room was empty, though the floor and every surface was covered with the paraphernalia of the working cowhand. She turned, uncertain of what to do next, and walked swiftly to the stable in the hope that someone would still be about.
She was lucky. She found a lone Mexican, whose name she didn't know, idly pitching hay into an empty stall. She prayed that he spoke English.
"Do you know where Roper is?" she asked.
The man looked up, his round brown face blank.
"Roper?" she asked again. "Have you seen him?"
"Si," the man said.
"Do you know where he is?"
"He left, señorita. Early."
"Did he say where he was going? When he'd be back?"
The Mexican shook his head. "He quit, seflorita. He left and took his gear with him."
Emma swallowed, feeling sick. It was true, then. "Thank you," she said, and walked back to the house.
Victoria, too, was an early riser. Knowing there was nothing to be gained by putting it off, Emma went directly to her cousin's room and knocked. Victoria opened the door with an anxious look as she shoved her last hairpin into place.
"What's wrong?" She knew something had to be wrong, or Emma would have waited for her to appear downstairs. "Has something happened to Celia?"
"No." Emma stepped inside the room and put her hands over Victoria's, holding them and forcing her to stand still. "Jake has left."
The words were simple enough, but they didn't make sense. Victoria frowned, wondering what Emma was trying to tell her. "Has he found out who shot at us the other day?"
"No." Emma closed her eyes briefly. "Victoria, he's gone. He packed his gear and left. One of the Mexicans said he quit and rode out this morning."
It was like an invisible punch to the chest. Victoria stared at Emma and listened to her own heart laboring to beat. Her face was white. "He... left?"
"Yes."
Odd, how the very air felt dead, how it sounded dead, muffling the words.
Emma put an arm around her to brace her and somehow she found herself sitting down.
"I know we haven't left the house much lately, but now we'll have to be doubly careful," Emma said, trying to turn her mind to the most pressing matters. "None of us should dare set foot outside."
"No, of course not," Victoria murmured. "Not with Garnet..."
Not with Garnet uncontrolled, now. Only Jake had kept him in line. But Jake was gone.
Gone!
The light had gone out of the sunny morning. Victoria sat there for a long time, helpless to do anything more than absorb the combined battering of grief and betrayal, the emptiness of knowing herself not only unloved but unimportant to the point that he hadn't even told her he was leaving. He had meant everything to her, and she had been nothing to him.
He had said, "Trust me," and she had. She had remained and had endangered both Celia and Emma with her foolishness. They would have to pay the price and live like caged animals, just to survive.
It was all the more painful because he was the only man she had ever loved. The war had interrupted what would have been her courting years in Augusta, so she had never even had a chance to fall in love before. But she also knew that her reserve was so strong that it was likely those young men would never have gotten past that inner wall to the passion inside, as Jake had. She had risked everything for him, both socially and emotionally, and he had ridden away as easily as if she had been a whore like Angelina.
Emma had left her alone to deal with her agony in private, for which Victoria was pathetically grateful. What was pride? It couldn't put food on the table or clothes on her back; it couldn't protect the people she loved. Yet she clung to it as her last defense. No matter what it cost her, when she went downstairs she would show no hint of her agony on her face.
Perhaps sometime in the future she would take out her pain and examine it, but perhaps not. For now she had to deal with their survival because Jake's departure had endangered them all. They could remain within the protection of the house, but their safety even then was dubious. For the first time she regretted the Major's precipitous decline, for at least he might have made Garnet wary of breaching the sanctuary of the house.
She had seen the hate in Garnet's eyes when he looked at her, and the lust when he'd looked at Celia. There was nothing now to stop him from taking her sister, he would shoot Victoria down without compunction, should she try to stop him. She knew she would have to try, as would Emma. They would both fight like tigers for those they loved.
They would have to protect themselves until they could leave. And that would have to be soon. She quailed inside at the thought of venturing into the territory alone, but the alternative was unbearable. They would have to start planning immediately.
At last she stood and took a deep breath. Sitting in her room wouldn't bring him back. She looked at herself in the mirror and saw a slim young woman with a somber face, but she satisfied herself that she didn't look as if she were going into a decline. With her back straight and her chin up, she went downstairs.
It was almost lunchtime. She hadn't realized how long she had been sitting dazed in her room. When Lola served the meal, Victoria forced herself to eat. Personal loss didn't break the heart so much as affect the stomach, she realized, but heartache sounded much more romantic than stomachache.
There were only the three of them at the table, the Major having failed to return to the house. He had become so erratic that no one was surprised, or concerned. When they had finished eating, Victoria folded her napkin and looked at Emma. "We'll have to leave."
Emma nodded. "As soon as possible."
"Where will we go?" Celia's face was pinched. It said a lot that she didn't ask why or when, but only where.
"We'll have to go to Santa Fe so we can make arrangements to travel home. And there are soldiers there, so we'll have protection from them in case... in case we're followed."
Practical Emma began listing the things they would need. "We'll have to have horses and food, blankets, extra clothing."
"Guns and ammunition," Victoria said, grimly determined not to be caught helpless. She had learned a hard lesson in depending entirely on someone else for protection.
"How will we get the horses?"
"We'll have to leave at night, as quietly as we can."
"Tonight?"
"We'll try."
They spent the rest of the day secretly packing those few sturdy items of clothing they would take with them. Celia discarded her pretty new gowns without a qualm, taking her cue from Victoria and Emma. There was too much to do to fret about dresses.
Emma placed herself in charge of rounding up the cooking utensils and food they would take along. They would need only one coffeepot and one skillet, which she managed to filch from the kitchen. She made quick periodic raids, each time taking some small item such as coffee, sugar, flour, onions, tortillas, potatoes, beans, a sharp knife, three spoons.
Victoria slipped into the library intending to get the Major's guns, but stopped abruptly when she saw him sitting at the desk. He looked up, his eyes so bloodshot they reminded her of the pictures she had seen in church of Satan's eyes. He had made an attempt at shaving that morning, at least, but had missed several patches. Still, he got to his feet and said heartily, "Did you want a book, my dear?" in a ghastly echo of his former pompous manner.
"Yes, I thought I'd read for a while this afternoon," she said. She controlled her disappointment.
"Take what you like." He waved his hand. "Didn't think there was much here that would interest a lady, though."
She pretended an interest in the few books that lined the shelves, but she didn't even see the titles.
Behind her, McLain began to chuckle. Victoria darted a look at him and found him staring at her with gleeful malice. "Yep, you're a real lady. I got what I paid for. You're so starched and proper I'll bet even your drawers are stiff."
Victoria whirled and started for the door, but McLain kept laughing. "But them stiff drawers won't do you no good when Sarratt gets his hands on you. You thought you were too good for me, didn't you, you little bitch?" His breathing quickened as mirth faded and his malicious resentment came to the fore. "You didn't want me humpin' you, but what you want won't make a damn to Sarratt, he'll just shove it in no matter how hard you fight. But it ain't ladylike to fight, is it? No, you'd just poker up and lie there as stiff as a dead person... just like a woman who'd been shot in the head..."
She bolted, closing the door on the vile stream of words that continued even without an audience to hear them. Her heart pounding, she ran up the stairs to her room. He was mad! But even knowing that didn't prevent the chill of fear that he was right. They had never found the bodies. Someone had shot at her. It was possible that one of the Sarratt boys had survived and returned twenty years later.
It took her a minute before she calmed enough to realize that it didn't matter. She would be leaving soon, with Emma and Celia, so it didn't matter if McLain was right. He would be the only one here.
She needed those guns, but she didn't get them that night. McLain sat in the room all night talking to himself and occasionally laughing, the bright lamps keeping the knife-wielding shadows away.
The next day Garnet came to the house and smiled like a wolf when he saw her. "How's that pretty sister of yours?" he asked, smirking because he knew he held the upper hand now.
Victoria looked through him and walked away without answering, but she was terrified.
She didn't have an opportunity to get the guns that day, either.
Before they went to bed, Emma hissed, "Maybe we should just forget about the guns and leave."
"We can't. You know what it's like out there."
The two young women stared at each other, at the stark mask of desperation and fear each wore. The task of getting to Santa Fe by themselves seemed almost impossible, yet they were driven to try it. Without any means of self-protection, it would almost certainly be suicide.
She couldn't get the guns on the third day, either.
On the fourth day a hot wind began blowing from the southwest, off the desert, eating at everyone. The men quarreled and three fights broke out, Lola and Carmita snapped at each other, Celia hid all day long, and the red stallion, Rubio, killed the Mexican Emma had spoken to the day Jake left.
The unfortunate man had become careless while putting the stallion back in his stall after laying down fresh hay. He turned his back just for a moment and the big animal attacked with his lethal iron-shod hooves, turning on the man with burning hate shining in his eyes. He reared again and again, the sharp metal cutting into the soft, twitching body, a thousand pounds of hate unleashed in destruction. The Mexican was unrecognizable when the stallion finally calmed enough for the other men to get a couple of ropes on him and lead him from the stall so they could get to the victim.
McLain snorted when he was told. "Damn stupid fool, he shoulda been more careful," he grunted.
But on the fourth day Victoria got the guns. Because she didn't know if they'd be able to leave that night, she didn't want the absence of their guns to be noticed. She took only one rifle, because McLain kept them lined up in the racks right behind him; one might not be noticed but three definitely would. To match the ammunition, she took one of the bullets out of the rifle and measured it against others until she found the right ones. She then hurriedly shoved the sack of ammunition into her pocket.
To her dismay she could find only one pistol. It didn't seem as large as the one Jake had given her the day someone had shot at her. As soon as the thought of Jake entered her mind she pushed it out, because she had found that was the only way she could survive. She repeated her search for matching ammunition and hurriedly left the room with the two weapons clutched in her arms, almost panicked lest someone should come in and catch her.
But they couldn't leave that night. Perhaps because of the wind, that hot, irritating wind, or perhaps because they were unsettled by Rubio's attack on the Mexican, several of the men roamed about restlessly all night. Victoria and Emma sat up in their darkened rooms until dawn, but always there seemed to be a small amount of activity around the barn and stable. There was no way they could leave without someone seeing them.
Late in the afternoon on the fifth day a cowhand rode in hard and fast, pulling his horse up so sharply that dirt and rocks were thrown in a cloud behind him. "Riders," he gasped, sliding from the saddle. "A damn big bunch of 'em, coming this way from Parson's Pass."
McLain went white. "Sarratt," he said in a hoarse voice, and ran for the house.
Garnet swore sharply. "You goddamn stupid fool!" he yelled at the fleeing man, but he didn't waste any more time on the Major. He turned back to the rider. "How many?"
"I don' know, boss. Twenty or thirty, at least." The rider didn't tell Garnet that he could neither read nor count, but merely used numbers he'd heard other cowhands use when referring to a large group. There were, in fact, sixty-three men heading toward the ranch.
Garnet thought about it. He doubted that the encroaching men were after the cattle; rustlers worked in smaller groups. But a force of twenty or thirty men crossing someone else's range wasn't exactly an act of friendship. On the other hand, he had enough men to handle a group that size. He didn't think for a minute that they might just be passing through.
But he didn't want to gather his men and ride out to meet them. For one thing, they might see him before he saw them. For another, the ranch buildings offered protection. Let them come to him. After all, they didn't know they'd been spotted. He had the advantage right where he was.
McLain burst into the library and jerked the rifles down from the rack, and made certain all of them were loaded. He didn't notice that one of them was missing. Muttering to himself, he carried them all up to his room.
He met Victoria on the stairs and laughed when he saw her. "He's coming, Sarratt's coming," he chortled. "A rider spotted him. Now you'll find out what it's like, you high-nosed bitch, and he'll make you wish you hadn't looked down on me like I was dirt." He brushed on past her and slammed into his bedroom.
Victoria hurried to the front door. Surely he was simply raving again. But outside she saw men hurrying about and her stomach clenched. "What's happening?" she called out to one man.
"Riders comin', ma'am." He pointed toward the south, toward Santa Fe. "From that way."
She withdrew and tried to reassure herself that just because riders were coming didn't mean any of those riders was a Sarratt. But against her will McLain had infected her with his terror.
She ran up the stairs and found Emma in her room. "We have to leave," she said. "Now, right now. Riders are coming. This might be our last chance."
Emma jumped up and got the pilfered foodstuffs from their hiding place under her bed. Victoria went along to Celia's room, hoping wildly that the girl was there instead of in some hiding place as she had been the day before. Her prayers were answered when she found her sister at her window, where she'd been standing watching the activity outside. "Why is everyone in such a hurry?" she asked.
"Riders are coming," Victoria said in a low voice. "We're leaving. Right now. Are you ready?"
Celia nodded, put an old hat on her head, tied a shawl around her shoulders, and fetched her own small bundle of things from beneath the bed.
Just in the short time that had passed since the rider had come in, dusk had fallen. The women made their way to the barn where their horses were stabled. Victoria carried the rifle, its barrel pointing downward and hidden within the folds of her skirt. The pistol was in Emma's pocket. Men were still moving around, but none of them seemed to notice the three women who walked purposefully across the grounds.
If anyone tried to stop them now, Victoria decided, she would shoot.
They saddled their horses. Sophie nickered eagerly at the weight of the saddle; she hadn't been out in days. Emma's gelding was similarly eager and even Celia's calm Gypsy danced a bit in anticipation.
They mounted while still in the barn, then spurred their horses forward, ducking their heads to clear the door. As soon as they were outside, Victoria wheeled Sophie to the left and plunged into the darkness, closely followed by the other two.
"Who's that?" someone shouted.
Quinzy, who had sharp eyesight, said in disbelief, "It's the women."
Garnet cursed, then said, "Let 'em go. Hell, they'll just get lost. We can find them later, when we've taken care of these bastards."
Victoria reined in to a walk as soon as they were away from the immediate vicinity of the ranch buildings, both because she couldn't see well in the dark and because she needed to think. If the riders were coming from the south, she didn't dare go in that direction or she'd ride straight into them. But Santa Fe, their ultimate destination, lay to the south. To the east and north, she knew, were the Comanche. To the west lay hard, unforgiving land. But they would have to go west, at least far enough for it to be safe to turn south later.
The Mexican scout, Luis, said in a soft voice, "They have seen us."
Jake swore softly and Ben spit. "Then we ride," Jake said. "Now. But we take it slow. Everybody wrap their bits and spurs, I don't want any jingling to give us away. When we get closer, we'll tie rags over the horses' hooves."
He looked up at the stars, then swung into his saddle. A savage anticipation welled in him. Tonight. It would be over tonight. McLain would be dead, and Victoria would be his.
The darkness and the strangeness of the land forced the women to keep to a walk when every instinct demanded that they hurry. If there was to be a moon it had not yet risen, and the hot, unsettling wind sent clouds scudding overhead and blocking out most of the starlight. The horses, sensing the nervousness of their riders, were skittish. It took all of Victoria's skill to keep Sophie under control and at the same time try to pick their way through the darkness. Though they could discern large obstacles well enough, the night obscured those small holes and ruts in the earth that could cause a horse to fall, maybe break a leg or even kill its rider.
Every sound seemed alien, magnified on the night air. Celia stifled a shriek when a hunting owl swooped overhead, then said, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," so pitifully that tears stung Victoria's eyes.
She had never before sworn in her life, but she was so enraged at what this had done to Celia that the thought rang in her mind: "Goddamn them, goddamn them all!" She didn't mean it as a blasphemy but as a curse. All of them---McLain, Garnet, all of the gun-men at the ranch who had looked at them as if they were nothing but sides of beef, even Jake, for he had left them to face this on their own---she cursed all of them.
Celia would never be the same again. Her light-hearted innocence was gone and could not be recovered. When she looked at men now it wasn't with childlike faith that they would protect her, it was with full knowledge that there was evil in the world and the very ones she had always thought were her champions were instead those who would harm her.
Celia should have, in a few years, fallen in love with a strong, gentle man, married him, raised a family with him, and died at a very old age having known nothing but devotion from her husband. It was a dream of perfection which Victoria realized few women achieved, but it was the life Celia should have had. It wouldn't happen now. She had seen the ugliness the human spirit was capable of, and it had changed her.
War hadn't touched her, but the bitter, violent atmosphere of the West and Kingdom Valley had.
Sophie stumbled and quickly recovered herself. Victoria leaned forward to pat the satiny neck and murmur encouragement.
"Should we go on or wait until daylight?" Emma asked.
They couldn't have gone far, having been restrained to a walk most of the time, but Victoria felt as if they were a million miles from civilization. She started to say she thought it would be all right to wait until morning when the sharp retort of gunfire rolled through the night air.
It wasn't just one shot. It was a multitude of them, the sharp cracks of pistols, the deeper thunder of rifles, and it went on and on.
They all three looked back in the direction of the ranch, though there was nothing to see.
Emma spoke first. "It sounds like a war."
"It is. The ranch is under attack."
"But who?"
Victoria could barely speak, her throat was so tight "The Major said it was Sarratt."
"It can't be. Why would someone wait twenty years for revenge?" Emma tried to sound soothing, but her own throat was tightening.
"Because the Major waited that long to get married," she answered, and swung Sophie's head around. She was so terribly frightened, but she had to stay in control. If it was Sarratt, would he bother coming after them? He wouldn't even know where they'd gone unless some of the men talked, if anyone was left alive to talk.
The Major had infected her with his maggot of fear; she could no longer convince herself that it was all just in his mind.
"We'll have to keep going," she said. "For as long as we can. The farther we are from the ranch come morning, the safer we'll be."
They didn't hit the ranch like a bunch of cowboys hoorahing a town, riding in fast and loud, shooting up the place. They left their horses back a piece and went in silently, on foot. Since it was going to be close fighting they all tied their handkerchiefs around their left arm for identification, so they wouldn't start shooting each other. It would identify them to McLain's men, too, but that couldn't be helped.
It started when one of the ranch hands stepped around the end of the barn and came face to face with one of the Sarratt men. The ranchhand reached for his gun and the Sarratt man's big Sharps rifle slug took most of the man's chest with it when it exited his back.
Jake and Ben fought their way side by side toward the house. It was hard to tell, but Jake didn't think any shots were being fired at them from inside the house and that gave him hope that the women weren't in immediate danger. His attention was centered on McLain, on finding him and killing him. It had to be; he couldn't afford to worry about Victoria until he'd taken care of McLain.
Someone shot at them with a rifle from the barn loft, the bullet zinging so close to Jake's head that he felt the heat from it and dived to the side. He looked around, saw Luis, and yelled, "Get that bastard in the loft!"
Luis grinned, his white teeth visible in the dark, and started his snaking run toward the barn.
All around them men were dead, wounded, or dying, and still the gunfire split the night from all directions.
"Where's Garnet?" Ben muttered.
"In a hole somewhere. He won't take any risks."
Wendell Wallace rose up from behind the hitching post where he'd been hugging the ground and drew a bead on Jake. Ben fired and Wendell fell back, his finger tightening convulsively on the trigger and firing a shot uselessly into the air.
Jake cautiously approached him, his .44 ready. When he reached Wendell, he saw that the man was breathing laboriously, with a frothing black liquid bubbling out of his chest.
Wendell looked at him and said, "Roper! Jesus Christ, why'd you do that?"
"My last name isn't Roper. It's Sarratt."
Wendell blinked, trying to focus on Jake's face. "Jesus Christ," he said again. "I thought we'd kilt you."
"No, but we've killed you. You're lung-shot, Wendell."
Wendell tried to take a deep breath, and the sound rattled in his throat. "Guess so." His voice was so weak it was almost soundless. "I'll be damned. Reckon I'm gonna die, then."
"Yep."
"Better'n gut-shot, anyways," he said, and his eyes became fixed in death.
Ben looked down at him. "That was Wendell Wallace?"
"Yeah."
"I remember him. He taught me how to whittle. Then he threw in with McLain and tried to kill us."
"Yeah," Jake said again.
They rushed the front door together, entering in a low crouch, hammers cocked and their fingers on the triggers. Nothing happened, no one moved. The lamps still burned serenely.
Ben's face was rigid. It was the first time he'd been inside his home in twenty years. He looked at the tiled floor where his mother had died.
They methodically searched the first floor, and found Carmita, Juana, and Lola huddled together in the kitchen. Carmita gasped when she saw Jake.
He didn't have time for explanations or reassurances. "Where's McLain?"
Carmita's eyes were huge. "I don't know, señor." She swallowed. "He was in the library."
They stood one on each side of the library door, and Jake tried the knob. It was locked. He motioned to Ben, then stepped back, raised his foot, and kicked in the door. Ben went in first, diving through, rolling and coming up, but nothing else in the room moved. It was empty.
"Goddamn it, where is he?" Ben asked, frustrated.
"Like Garnet, looking for a hole." Abruptly Jake looked up and his entire face tightened. What if McLain was upstairs, using the women as cover?
He ran up the stairs with Ben right behind. He took the rooms on the right, Ben checked the ones on the left. They were all empty.
Damn him, what had he done with the women? Certain now that McLain had them, he swore that he would carve the bastard up alive if he'd even so much as bruised Victoria.
"Check the courtyard." It was the last place he could think of for McLain to hide without having to leave the shelter of the house and face the firestorm of bullets outside.
Ben nodded. "I'll go around the house and come in the back gate."
Jake waited in the kitchen to give Ben time to work his way around. The three servants were still crouched on the floor, huddled together for comfort. "What is happening, Señor Jake?" Carmita asked.
"We're taking back our ranch," he replied without looking at her, pistol in his hand as he eased the door open. "My brother and I."
Lola raised her head, her face strained. "Sarratt," she whispered as Jake slipped out the door.
Rectangles of light from the window splashed across the courtyard, illuminating some spots, leaving darker shadows in others. Jake could just make out Ben sliding along the wall, gun in hand.
"Major?" Jake called softly.
Hearing, Ben went motionless.
"Major?"
For a long minute there was no sound and Jake took another silent step around a bench, the very bench where Victoria had sat the day after she had married McLain.
"Roper?"
The whisper came from his right, close to the rain barrel. Every nerve in Jake's body tightened.
"Yeah."
"They said you'd gone."
"I came back."
Slowly McLain stood up from behind the barrel. The light from a window fell across his face, starkly etching the physical signs of his mental deterioration. He giggled. "I told 'im, but he didn't believe me. Sarratt's back, isn't he?"
Jake stared in disgust at the ruin before him. "Yeah, McLain. I'm back."
McLain giggled again. "No, not you. Sarratt. You're back, but so's he."
"I'm Sarratt."
"No, you're Roper. You've got to find him and kill him for me. You've got to---"
Jake moved another step forward, also stepping into the light. It hit him from the side, delineating the sharp planes of his brow, jaw, and cheekbones, making dark pools of his eyes. To McLain's fevered brain his face looked like a skeleton's head, a dead man come back to haunt him.
McLain moaned, shrinking back from him, and the sound swiftly escalated into a shriek. "You're dead!" he screamed. "You came back, but you're still dead. Get away, damn you! I need a lamp! Someone bring me a goddamn lamp!"
Jake felt his guts twist and a bitter taste filled his mouth. The man was a raving lunatic. The moment of revenge he'd waited twenty years for had finally come, the gun was in his hand, but the target was still eluding him, snatched away by madness. He wanted McLain as he had been twenty years before, not this slobbering fool.
Without warning, McLain jerked his hand up, the pistol trembling in his grip. Frozen in bitter disappointment Jake was caught off guard, and even though his pistol was already in his hand he had a split second of recognition that he wasn't going to be in time. Then a shot boomed from behind him, followed closely by another. McLain jerked from the impact of the two bullets, rising almost on tiptoe, the pistol dropping from his hand. He stared at Jake with virulent hatred.
"Die again, you son of a bitch, this time I'll kill you and make certain you stay---" He raised his empty hand, unaware that the pistol no longer filled it, and pantomimed the motion of firing. A look of utmost astonishment crossed his face, then it went blank and he died on his feet. He flopped, rag-doll loose, across the rain barrel.
Jake whirled, his eyes blazing, to confront whoever had snatched away his vengeance, whoever it was who had saved his life.
Juana stood with one of the Major's pistols held at arm's length, both of her hands clasped around the butt. Her face was expressionless as she stared at McLain's body. Then her lips twisted; she spat at the dead man and whispered, "Good."
Ben walked up, and he and Jake stood shoulder to shoulder looking at the dead man. Jake was aware of an absurd sense of regret. It was over, the driving force that had dominated their lives for twenty years, but instead of the wrenching battle he had needed and anticipated, he had faced a man diminished by insanity, and the final act of vengeance had been Juana's. In a way McLain had still won, for even though he lay dead at their feet he had robbed them of satisfaction by being less than he had been.
It left a hard core of bitterness, this unexpected defeat.
There was still gunfire outside the walls, but it was more sporadic now. It reminded Jake that it wasn't finished, not until Garnet's body lay at their feet, too.
And where in the hell was Victoria?
He and Ben stepped back into the house. Juana followed them, her face as blank as a sleepwalker's although silent tears tracked down her face. "Dios," she murmured. "Dios."
From the way she was acting, Jake guessed at what McLain had put Juana through. He figured her need for vengeance might have been as great as his own and tried not to begrudge her. He bent down and lifted Carmita and Lola to their feet, assuring him that they wouldn't be hurt. "Where is the señora?" he asked. "And her sister and cousin?"
Carmita shook her head, looking frightened. "I don't know. They aren't upstairs?"
"No."
Carmita clasped her hands. "Madre de Dios! If they were outside---"
She didn't have to finish the sentence. He turned on his heel and left the house. If they'd been caught outside, stray bullets could easily have hit any or all of them. It had been a firestorm of flying lead.
It was all over now. Those of McLain's men still left alive were coming out of their various hiding places with their hands high and empty. Jake and Ben searched the area, turning bodies over with their boots, kicking pistols away from outstretched hands. There was no sign of Garnet, or of the three women.
A cold sensation was freezing Jake's insides as he looked around at the vast, dark land. Had Garnet taken them? If he had, Jake knew he would never see Victoria alive again, because she wouldn't sit meekly while Garnet raped her sister. She would fight him and he'd put a bullet in her brain without a second thought. Despair congealed in a hard knot in his stomach at the thought.
He turned back to the small group of men huddled together and picked one out. He thumbed back the hammer, knowing everyone heard the small click, and pointed it at the man's head. "You, Shandy. Where's Garnet?"
Sweat began pouring down the man's face, despite the chilly night. "I seen him ride out, Roper. I swear to God I did."
"When?"
"'Bout the time you went in the house. Him and a coupla others."
"Which direction?"
Shandy lifted a shaking hand and pointed east.
"Did he have the women with him?"
By now Shandy was shaking so hard his teeth were clattering together. "No, I swear he didn't."
Jake's finger tightened imperceptibly on the trigger. "I think you're lying to me, Shandy. The women aren't here. Garnet had to take them."
Shandy began wagging his head back and forth. "I swear, I swear," he babbled.
"He ain't lyin', Roper," someone else in the group said quickly. "I seen the women leave before the shootin' ever started. They lit out from the barn, ridin' west, in the opposite direction from Garnet."
Jake turned to Luis. "Get me a lantern." He lowered the hammer back into position, but looked Shandy right in the eye. "If you're lying to me, you won't see sunrise."
He, Ben, and Luis walked to the barn. Sophie was gone, as well as Emma's and Celia's mounts. The men used the lantern to examine the dirt floor of the barn, but too many people had been through it in the last half hour for him to be able to tell anything for certain. They walked outside, where he picked up Sophie's track with ease. He followed it for thirty yards, reading the sign.
"Just three horses," Ben said.
"Carrying light weights," Luis added.
Jake straightened, an incredible rage rushing in to displace despair. "The goddamn little fool, I told her to stay in the house." Now she had taken Emma and Celia out there, when none of them had the slightest idea how to survive or even find their way. Worse, Garnet was out there, too. Though he had headed in the opposite direction, he could have seen the women leave and veered around once he was safely away.
Ben rubbed a weary hand over his face. "We can't track them in the dark, Jake."
"I know." Even if he followed them with a lantern to pick out the tracks, a light would be visible for a long way at night. Not knowing who he was, the women would evade him; meanwhile Garnet could pick out his location. Every muscle in Jake was drawn tight, but there was nothing he could do. They'd have to wait until dawn before starting the search, even though that would give Garnet more time, too.
He was furious and his temper grew worse the longer he thought about it. If she had done what he'd told her, they would be safe right now instead of wandering alone in the wilderness. He only hoped she'd have sense enough to find shelter for the night.
"We've still got a lot of work to do," Ben said, interrupting his dark thoughts. "Like you said, this was only about a third of McLain's men. We might have some fighting still ahead of us, especially if Garnet joins up with them."
Jake grunted. "I don't look for him to do that. Garnet won't fight if he thinks it's anywhere dose to an even match, and we pretty much evened it up tonight. But, yeah, some of the other gunnies might make a stand."
Ben put a hand on Jake's shoulder. "We'll find them tomorrow," he said, but he, too, wondered. A lot could happen to three women alone on the land.
Victoria was forced to call a halt for the night. Though her instincts told her to keep going, Celia was unused to riding very far even at a walk. Long before
"We'll have to rest," Emma said. "She can't go any farther." She rubbed her own bottom, wincing a little. "I think I'm going to be sore, too."
Victoria looked around trying to find some sort of shelter, but there was still no moon to aid her. All she could see was the black masses where trees grew. Well, at least the trees would shield them. She put her arm around Celia's shoulders. "Can you walk just a little way, up to those trees?" she asked, pointing to the right.
Celia nodded, fighting her tears. "Yes. I'm sorry. I know we should keep riding."
"So we should, but we're all tired and so are the horses. If we don't let them rest, they won't do us any good tomorrow."
They trudged slowly up the rock-scattered hill to the treeline and found a grouping of boulders that blocked off most of the wind. Victoria and Emma unsaddled the horses and gave them water, then tied them where they could graze. When they returned, Celia had arranged their blankets and divided up three small portions of food.
Victoria sank down on a blanket and gratefully accepted the bread and cheese, which she washed down with water. Now that she was sitting she realized how tired she was. Exhaustion washed over her; she barely tasted the food, but didn't dare sleep.
Fighting off the urge to lie down, she rested the rifle across her legs. "I'll watch while you two get some sleep."
Celia stretched out, groaning, and was asleep in only a moment. Emma came over to sit beside Victoria. "Do you really think it was Sarratt?" she asked, keeping her tone low to avoid disturbing Celia. "How could it be after all these years?"
Victoria sighed. "I don't know. It was just that the Major was so sure, and he was so frightened. He sat up nights watching for them, did you know? He didn't sleep. I'd hear him all night long, sitting in there talking to himself, and sometimes he'd come in my room and tell me what they would do to me---"
She broke off and Emma swiftly hugged her. "I know I shouldn't say it, but the Major is mad. You know that, don't you?"
"Oh, yes, I know."
"Then why would you believe anything he said?"
"Because he is mad, not stupid." Victoria stared out at the night. "Because someone shot at me. Because I couldn't think of any other reason---"
"Don't you think the Major has made more enemies than just the Sarratts?" Emma asked with the sweet voice of reason. "It could be anyone."
Victoria couldn't prevent a low chuckle. "Does it really matter? An enemy is an enemy."
"You're right, of course. It doesn't make any difference who shot at you, the intent remains the same."
"How comforting!"
They laughed quietly together for a minute, then Emma sobered. "How long do you think it will take us to get to Santa Fe?"
"I don't know. Surely we can travel faster than before, when we rode in the wagon."
"Unless we get lost."
"We'll turn south in the morning. We'll meet up with someone on the way, and we'll ask directions."
"Do we dare?"
Victoria touched the rifle. "I'm willing to use this."
They were silent for a while, listening to the wind in the trees. Emma said, "The Major could come after us, you know. Or send Garnet. Whatever the trouble was at the ranch tonight, it's possible they handled it."
That had occurred to Victoria, and she had decided she would not take Celia and Emma back to that ranch. "I'll do whatever's necessary." It was so hard to say that she shuddered, then quickly masked her reaction by saying, "I'm becoming chilly. Why don't you try to sleep, rather than keeping me company? I'll be fine."
"Will you wake me in a couple of hours? You need to sleep, too."
"Yes, of course."
Victoria thought of a lot of things, sitting alone in the darkness. She wondered what had happened at the ranch, because as Emma had said, it could have been anyone. She wondered if she should contact the authorities in Santa Fe to get help, and if anyone would respond even if she did ask them.
She worried about Celia. She should never have brought her out West. Now she could only hope that her little sister would eventually forget some of the awful things and learn to trust men again.
Jake... Her thoughts eventually, inevitably turned to him, and she almost whimpered aloud from the pain. Why had he left without a word after all that had passed between them? She remembered the way he'd kissed her, the times she had even allowed him to fondle her breasts. Was that why he'd left, because she had demeaned herself to him by allowing him those intimacies?
Did the why really matter? He had left, and she had to face the bitter reality that he hadn't returned her feelings at all. He had wanted to bed her, nothing more.
She meant to wake Emma, she really did, but she sat for so long with her harsh thoughts, and she was so tired, that she didn't notice when her eyes drifted shut.
"Victoria, wake up. It's after dawn." Emma shook her until Victoria sat up, yawning.
"Why didn't you wake me?"
"I meant to. I fell asleep." Alarmed, Victoria scrambled to her feet. She drew a little breath of relief when she saw that everything appeared normal. Emma and Celia had managed to build a small fire, and Celia was rather competently cooking potatoes and bacon. Coffee was bubbling in the kettle.
The sun was already shining, but the morning was still crisp and cool. She sought privacy to attend to her needs, then returned to freshen her face and hands with a dampened handkerchief.
They were all inordinately hungry and devoured the simple meal. Celia vigorously rubbed her abused rear when she stood.
"Will you be able to ride?" Victoria asked, concerned. Her own muscles were twinging, so she could imagine how Celia felt.
"Yes," Celia said, then added darkly, "but I won't like it."
Victoria laughed, but Emma grabbed her arm, cutting her off as she pointed to the east and said, "Look."
Victoria squinted her eyes, then saw the riders. They were silhouetted on top of a ridge by the huge red morning sun. She couldn't tell exactly how many there were.
Cold fear seized her. She whirled and kicked dirt on the fire. "Quick, saddle the horses!"
Distances were deceiving out on the land. The riders had looked so close only because the sun had been behind them; they were at least several miles away and couldn't have seen the women. Unless smoke from the campfire had given them away...
Sophie chose that morning to be frisky, dancing away as Victoria struggled to get the saddle on her back. "Stop it!" she said sharply, fighting her panic. If Sophie sensed her fear, she'd never get her saddled.
They climbed on rocks to mount. Emma jumped down from her gelding and raced toward the fire. "I am not leaving the frying pan behind," she said. "It's the only pan we have."
Luckily, the frying pan had cooled enough that she didn't burn her hand when she snatched it up. She ran back to the rocks, and Victoria took the pan and stored it in her saddlebag while Emma remounted.
They didn't dare turn south now; that direction would insure that the riders cross their trail. Victoria put her back to the sun and kicked Sophie into a run.
Celia hung on with grim determination and her little mare tried valiantly to maintain pace with their larger mounts. Still Victoria and Emma had to rein in their horses to permit Celia to stay with them. Victoria cast several anxious looks over her shoulder, but the riders had descended from the top of the ridge and were lost from sight. She prayed that they weren't from the ranch at all, but were merely passing through and wouldn't pay any attention to their trail.
They gained the top of a crest and Victoria reined in, turning Sophie so she could watch the direction from which they'd come.
"Why are you stopping?" Emma cried, wheeling her own mount around.
"I want to see where they are. They might not be after us."
They waited, straining their eyes for sight of the riders. It was their ears that picked it up first, the distant rumble that sounded like thunder, though the sky was clear. Victoria waited, her mouth dry.
The riders topped another ridge, and her heart almost stopped. They were much closer than she'd feared, riding hard, and straight at them.
"Dear God. Run!"
She tried to think, but her brain felt numb. She knew it had to be either Sarratt or Garnet. Either meant death.
Celia was riding with her jaw set, though her face was pale. Victoria held back Sophie's long strides and positioned her on one side of Celia's mount, while Emma took up the other side. Better if Celia had taken another horse from the stable, but they hadn't thought of it. Now placid but slow Gypsy might well mean the difference between them getting away or being caught.
The landscape was changing, becoming gradually more dry and barren as the trees gave way to rock and shrub. A slight breeze picked up the fine dirt and blew it in their faces, covering them with grit. Victoria looked over her shoulder again, and again the riders were closer than they'd been before. She didn't recognize any of the men, but now she could see that they had pulled up their neckerchiefs to cover their faces against the grit. Their covered faces, even at a distance, were menacing.
She tightened her reins as they plunged headlong down a slope. Celia cried out and almost came off over Gypsy's head, but at the last minute Victoria reached out and grabbed Celia's skirt, hauling her back into the saddle. They slid and plunged to the bottom, and Victoria cried, "Stop!"
They reined in the horses. Poor Gypsy was almost blown, but Emma's gelding and Sophie were still strong. Victoria jumped down. "Quickly, Celia, change horses with me!"
"I can't ride Sophie!" Celia cried, appalled, though she obediently slid to the ground.
"You'll have to. I'm a better rider, I can get more out of Gypsy than you can. You take the rifle," she said swiftly to Emma. "Give me the pistol."
Emma, too, obeyed, but her face twisted. "What are you doing?"
"We have to split up." Victoria boosted Celia into Sophie's saddle, then she scrambled atop Gypsy. "Take Celia and ride east."
"East!"
"Yes, due east, along the base of this ridge. There's more shelter that way, and perhaps they'll follow me instead of you. Sophie is a strong horse, she'll keep going a long time."
"I can't leave you!" Emma shouted.
"You have to! You have to take care of Celia!"
"Then you go with her! I'll lead them away."
Victoria gave her a stark look. "It's me they want," she said. "It isn't Garnet; I know Garnet's horse. So it has to be Sarratt---or---or someone else who hates the Major. Now, for the love of God, hurry!" Without waiting, without allowing herself to look back, she touched her heels to poor Gypsy and rode west.
She had no hope of being able to outdistance the riders indefinitely; she only hoped to give Emma and Celia a chance to escape. Perhaps, even if Sarratt caught them, he wouldn't harm them. After all, they weren't McLains.
She rode as she'd never ridden before in her life, pushing the tired horse deeper into the barren, rocky land. It wasn't desert, but there were no trees, no crystal-clear rivers, no ripe meadow grasses. The sun rose high, burning her back through the thin fabric of her shirtwaist. Her arms and legs ached.
Gypsy stumbled. Victoria agonized, yet she knew she'd have to give the horse a rest or risk it dying under her. She stopped and dismounted, and walked Gypsy for as long as she dared before giving the animal a small drink of water. When the horse stopped blowing so strenuously, Victoria remounted and started her flight again, but at a slower pace. The mare simply couldn't manage more.
Victoria's throat was dry and caked with dust, but she didn't dare drink any of the water herself; she might need it for Gypsy. A wave of dizziness swept her, but she grimly concentrated on her balance.
Looking behind again, she blinked in confusion. She could see only one rider, steadily gaining on her---or was it a mirage? Where were the others? Her heart stopped in sickening realization. Her ruse had failed; he'd sent the others after Emma and Celia, but was coming after her himself, as inexorable as the sun. This was Sarratt. She knew it was Sarratt.
She kicked Gypsy, but felt no responding increase in speed.
They were nearing a huge outcropping of bare red stone when Gypsy began staggering. Victoria looked behind again and saw that he was only a few minutes behind. Her horse wouldn't go any farther. She reined in and jumped to the ground, then ran into the rocks. Her boots slipped as she scrambled higher and higher, searching for a cave or a notch where she could hide. The pistol was heavy in her pocket. Dear God, if she had to she'd use it. He was alone; just one shot was all she'd need if she aimed carefully enough.
She risked a quick look around a rock. He was below her, dismounting from his horse with a powerful grace that frightened her, yet seemed dizzyingly familiar. The lower half of his face was still hidden by the neckerchief. He lifted his head and scanned the rocks, and she jerked back out of sight.
The hot rock was scorching her hands. She stared up at the relentless sun, glowing in a sky unmarred by clouds, and wondered if this would be the last time she would see it. She was more frightened than she had ever been in her life.
"Goddamn it, stop wasting my time and come out of there." The voice was muffled by the cloth covering his mouth, but the rage in it was plain.
Evidently he didn't think he had anything to fear from her. Victoria felt as if she had enough fear for the two of them, but somehow she steadied herself. She might lose, but not without a fight.
She fumbled for the pistol with shaking hands and for a frozen moment stared bemused at the glint of sunlight along the steel-blue barrel. What a strangely beautiful object, this instrument of death; it was so perfectly suited to its purpose. The only chance she had was to use it.
She held her breath, listening. When she heard a slight scraping below and to her left, she used both hands to pull the hammer back. She took two quick, deep breaths to steady herself, then she eased her head around the rock.
She saw him as he changed position, climbing to another section of rock. Her heart leaped and she fired wildly at him. The bullet chipped a little section of rock close to his head, sending the splinter flying. He dived for cover among the rocks, and she couldn't see him any longer, but she knew she hadn't hit him.
He would work his way in the direction from which the shot had been fired, and this time he knew she was armed. Victoria scrambled higher, scraping her palms on the hot rocks. A lizard stared at her with beady eyes, then darted into the protection of a cool, dark crack. She wished she could crawl in after it.
Maybe, while he was climbing up, she could work her way down. If she could sneak around him and get back down to the horses, she could take both of the horses and leave him stranded.
She sprawled out on her stomach and, keeping a weather eye on the rocks below her for any movement, began squirming backward. The rocks tore her skirt and scraped even more skin off her palms, but she barely noticed.
She thought she might make it. The horses were in sight and she was beginning to let herself hope. Then she heard the slight scrape from behind, her only warning before rough hands grabbed her around the waist and jerked her upright, startling her so much that she couldn't even scream. The man gripped her arm so roughly that her hand went numb, and he easily relieved her of the pistol. Despairing, Victoria stared up at the handkerchief-covered face of the man who was determined to kill her.
"You damn little fool," he said with quiet menace, tugging the handkerchief down around his neck. "Who are you trying harder to kill---me, yourself, or your horse?"
Victoria gaped up at him. The scorching sun was beating down on her bare head, and she thought perhaps she was hallucinating. But he was still holding her wrist painfully and his green eyes glittered at her from under the black brim of his hat. She hadn't thought she'd ever see those green eyes again... "Jake?" she whispered incredulously. "I didn't know it was you---I thought---I thought you were Sarratt."
His expression was shuttered as he looked down at her, and a long moment of silence stretched between them, so long that she felt a chill of apprehension. His eyes were grim and cold.
"I am," he said.
He dragged her down from the rocks. "Sit down, and don't move even an inch. I'm going to take care of the horses. If you move, you'll regret it." He spoke in a very even tone. She didn't doubt him.
She sat in the dust and watched as he unsaddled the horses, then walked both of them around for a while. The horse he'd been riding was unfamiliar to her, a detail that made her bite her lip. If he'd been riding his own horse, she would have recognized it. Would she have still run from him? If she hadn't, would it have been a mistake? He was Sarratt, he'd said, and she still didn't know what he wanted with her.
Gypsy was so tired she could barely walk. Jake---if that really was his first name---gave some of their precious water to the horses and tethered them where they could get at the few succulent plants that grew in the shade of the outcropping.
Victoria felt shattered, even more so than when Emma had told her he'd left. It was a curious difference, but then she had hurt from the loss, the betrayal of her trust. Now she was terrified that the betrayal went much deeper than that. It wasn't simply that he didn't return her regard, but that he might have used her in the broader scope of revenge. Had he simply been hoping to satisfy some of his thirst for vengeance by cuckolding the Major? What was he going to do with her now? She tried to think of what to say to him, but her mind was blank, perhaps blessedly so. All she could do was sit and watch.
Jake himself was so angry he could barely speak. Not only had she disobeyed his order to stay in the house, but she'd led the others into danger. She had run their horses into the ground and shot at him. That alone made him so angry he didn't want to approach her again until he was more in control of himself. She looked exhausted, and dazed. It was a while before he calmed down enough to walk over to her, canteen in hand. She had to be as thirsty as he was.
She didn't look up at his approach, even when he was standing right before her with his legs braced, dusty boots nudging hers. She braced herself, but nothing happened; he continued to loom silently over her, dominating her without saying a word.
Finally she broke the silence. "It was you who attacked the ranch last night, wasn't it?"
Jake opened the canteen and shoved it into her hands. "Yes. My brother and I brought our men in and took back the ranch." He paused, watching her carefully as he said, "McLain is dead."
Victoria failed to react in any way because she still felt so numb. She tipped the canteen back and drank. It was refreshing, even though the water was warm.
Jake took the canteen away and drank from it himself. He recapped it and wiped his mouth on his sleeve, watching her all the while. "I said, your husband is dead."
She didn't look at him. "I heard you."
"Don't you care?"
"I don't mourn him, but I can't---I can't be glad anyone is dead," she replied.
"Juana killed him. He'd raped her."
Victoria flinched, and wondered if she had just lied. Perhaps she was glad that the Major was dead. He'd been a vile man. Would any living punishment have been enough?
"Ben and I control the ranch now."
A ghost of interest stirred in her, and she lifted her head. She hadn't truly understood what he'd said before. "So yofcr brother survived, too," she said in a blank little voice. "I'm glad." She looked at the horses, a slight frown knitting her forehead, and asked the question she really didn't want to hear the answer to. "Where are the others?"
"I sent them after Emma and Celia."
"They---" She swallowed, and tried again. "They won't hurt them, will they?"
"Not if they don't try something stupid. Like shooting."
Victoria shivered, because Emma probably would shoot.
Jake rested his boot on the rock beside her and propped his arms on his raised knee. "Why'd you change horses with Celia?"
"Gypsy couldn't keep up. I thought Celia would have a better chance of getting away if she were riding Sophie."
He didn't say anything else, just stood there watching her. She looked at the ground; she felt so bleak inside it was almost unbearable. If anything happened to Emma or Celia, she would never forgive herself---assuming, of course, that Jake didn't kill her. But if he had been going to do so, she reasoned, he would already have done it.
She raised her head again. "What are you going to do with me?"
He smiled, not a particularly pleasant smile. Make love to you until neither of us can walk, he thought with a savage mixture of anger and need, born out of his worry and fear for her. The violent compulsion to mate was inborn, and he wouldn't be able to relax until she was well and truly his, until he felt her safe in his arms. For now, however, he still didn't dare touch her. Instead he said aloud, "Take you back to the ranch. After the horses rest."
She was afraid to ask any more questions.
There were four of them. Emma saw that much when she cast a desperate look over her shoulder. Celia was faring badly on Sophie. The horse seemed to be taking pity on her inept rider and was striding as smoothly as silk, but without reaching for the great depths of speed her steely muscles possessed. As a result, the four riders were rapidly gaining on them. Emma recognized her choices with agonized clarity. She could stay with Celia or she could save herself, but she couldn't do both. For Emma, there was really no choice involved. She held the gelding so that it matched strides with Sophie and awkwardly wrestled the rifle around. Riding sidesaddle wasn't the best position for firing a rifle and her first shot went wide.
Ben cursed and bent low over his horse's neck, asking the animal for more speed. It was tired, but with the other horses' hindquarters in sight it surged forward. Luis, beside him, did the same. Ben went for the wildcat who was shooting at them, Luis for the girl who was barely staying in the saddle.
It wasn't that easy. The dark-haired one shot again and this time the shot came uncomfortably close. The other girl somehow clung to the saddle and the big mare she was riding increased its speed. Ben angled his horse so that he came up on the right side of the one with the rifle, effectively taking himself out of her line of fire. His horse surged rhythmically beneath him, hooves pounding, lungs blowing; he pulled even with the gelding's hindquarters and his horse stretched out even more, driven by the need to get out in front. Inch by inch he drew even with the gelding.
From the corner of his eye Ben saw Luis reach out to grab the big mare's bridle. The little blonde screamed and began tearing at his hand, and the brunette tried to swing the rifle like a club, evidently not trusting her marksmanship enough to shoot with Luis so close to the girl.
Ben leaned out of the saddle and caught her around the waist, dragging her backward off of the horse as he reined in his own mount.
Emma arched and kicked, frantically trying to loosen his grip, but all she succeeded in doing was dropping the rifle. She reached backward, clawing for his face, his hair, any part of him that she could reach. Dangling in the air as she was, anchored only by his arm around her waist, she wasn't having much success, and in desperation she began hammering her heels against his leg and the horse's ribs. The animal snorted and plunged, and she heard the man curse as they both came off the horse, landing with a thump in the dust.
Emma kept kicking and tried to roll free. The man grabbed her foot and hauled her back, and when she kicked at him again he rolled on top of her, flattening her beneath his weight. He was cursing in a continuous if breathless stream, the words puffing out against her ear. He controlled her kicking legs with his muscled thighs and caught her flailing fists, then anchored her wrists to the ground above her head.
"Leave her alone! Get off of her!"
Ben lifted his head and saw the little blonde flying toward him, but Luis caught her from behind and held her, locking his hands around her wrists and then crossing his arms in front of her so that her arms were folded up and she couldn't twist or jerk free. Knowing that he didn't have to worry about her, Ben was free to give all of his attention to the squirming hellcat beneath him.
Emma rebelled completely against the heavy weight holding her down, arching and twisting, tossing her head in an effort to hit him in the face. She was too terrified to think straight, but she couldn't just surrender; it went against every instinct.
The man didn't try to hit her or hurt her in any way. He just held her and let her wear herself out struggling. But it had been a while since Ben had had a woman, and the soft, definitely female body squirming beneath him caught his attention. Blood pooled in his groin, and he began to swell and harden. Instinctively, he shifted his legs so that they were lying inside hers; when she arched again the movement thrust his erection solidly against her soft mound.
Emma shivered and went still, her brown eyes enormous in her pale, dusty face. She stared up at the hard face of the man lying on top of her, shocked at what she could feel happening to his body. She had never felt a man's weight before, and now that their battle had abruptly changed to a sexual one, she was frightened into stillness.
Though she knew there were others standing just a few feet away, in a strange way she felt they were utterly alone. She smelled his sweat, and his quick, hard breathing feathered her face. She knew hers must be doing the same thing to him, in a subtle exchange of their very breath.
She noticed his eyes were hazel, his eyelashes and brows black. He moved again in a slight shift of position that brought him even more snugly against her.
From a great distance she heard Celia sobbing. Emma rolled her head to the side, and the sight of the girl locked in another man's arms shattered the strange sensuality that had enthralled her. Hectic color rushed to her face.
"Please," she said in a stifled tone. "Let me up."
Ben propped up on an elbow, still keeping her arms pinned to the dirt with his other hand. "Am I going to have to wrestle you down again?" he panted.
"No."
He got to his feet and dragged her up until she was standing. Emma held out her arms, and with a small understanding smile Luis released Celia, who flew into her cousin's comforting embrace. The girl was terrified and sobbing in harsh, choking sounds.
Ben picked up his hat from the ground and slapped it against his pants, sending clouds of dust flying. He felt breathless, and though his erection had subsided there was still an uncomfortable tightness in his loins.
Emma stroked Celia's tangled hair and looked over her head at the men surrounding them. "What are you going to do with us?" she asked, instinctively looking at the man who had held her down as the leader.
"Take you back to the ranch," he said.
Emma ducked her head, hiding her alarm as she continued to soothe Celia. She was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to collapse, but pride held her erect, unable to show weakness to an enemy.
Ben looked up at the sun, estimating the time. "We'll have to rest the horses for a while before we head back. We won't make it to the ranch tonight, but we should meet up with Jake on his way back with Mrs. McLain."
Emma's head jerked up. "Jake?" she asked, her heart beginning to pound. Had Jake Roper come to their aid after all? But she was afraid to hope, because Jake was such a common name. Until then Emma had been determined not to say anything about Victoria in the hope that she had gotten away.
"Jacob Sarratt," Ben said. "My brother. I'm Ben Sarratt."
She stared at him, white-faced, because Victoria had been right after all.
"The---the Major?"
Ben walked over to snare Sophie's reins and gave Emma a dismissive look over his shoulder. "Dead," he said.
It was late in the afternoon when they saw two riders approaching. Ben grunted in satisfaction, glad that Jake had recovered the missing widow without any trouble. His plan to get legal possession of the ranch by marrying her would have been worthless if he hadn't been able to find her. Ben watched them ride up, more than a little curious about this woman Jake was willing to marry.
Emma finally recognized Victoria and stumbled forward with a cry, but she froze in her tracks when she also recognized the man riding beside her cousin. She shot a disbelieving look at Ben, then another at Jake. Jake Roper was Jake Sarratt? Understanding dawned. My God, he'd been playing them all for fools from the beginning!
When they reined in at the camp Victoria didn't wait for anyone to help her down. Unhooking her leg from the pommel, she jumped and stumbled, but recovered herself before Jake could reach out to catch her.
"Emma? Celia?"
Hearing the hoarse anxiety, Emma hurried forward. "We're both all right. Celia's stiff and sore, but we haven't been hurt. Are---are you---"
"Tired," Victoria said, her shoulders slumping. She allowed herself the weakness only for a moment. Lifting her chin, she said, "I suppose you know?"
"About the Major? Yes."
"And about the Sarratts?" Victoria's face was expressionless.
"Yes."
There was nothing else to say. They were all safe, at least for the moment. What lay ahead, they couldn't even guess.
Victoria sat quietly with Emma beside her. One of the men---the one they called Wylie---began preparing the evening meal. Victoria stirred enough to offer their provisions.
Jake was ominously silent, and Ben watched Victoria closely. She didn't know that he was admiring her quiet, dignified manner and the look of pride on her dusty face. He was even admiring the fact that she was obviously the cause of Jake's black mood, because no woman before had ever been able to get past Jake's wall of reserve.
They ate at sunset and turned in shortly afterward. Victoria was too tired even to argue when Jake dumped his bedroll beside her blanket, though she did wonder what the men thought. She decided that she was too tired to care and, curling up on her side, was asleep before Jake got his boots off.
When they reached the hacienda the next day, Victoria still didn't know what Jake intended to do with them. If he'd been planning to kill them, surely he would have done it and left their bodies out in the rocks. Instead he'd brought them back, to Carmita, who came running from the hacienda with glad cries and outstretched arms.
There were signs of the recent battle everywhere, from the multitude of new faces to the chips in the adobe walls. Several windows had been broken and holes peppered the black wood of the front door. Still, there were some things that were unchanged. Carmita was still motherly in her concern, and Angelina Garcia still lounged around.
The women trooped tiredly upstairs, with Carmita fussing around them while Lola and Juana began heating the massive quantities of water needed for them all to have a bath. Celia could barely climb the stairs, she was so sore; they decided she should have the first bath for the relief the hot water would give her muscles. Carmita also addressed the problem with a liberal application of liniment, despite Celia's blushing reluctance to bare her legs and backside.
The house was teeming with activity, and if there was one thing Victoria knew how to do it was run a household. She seized on the work to keep herself from screaming out her fears and uncertainties, because she still didn't know what was going to happen and was afraid to ask. The Major's room had been cleaned out as if he'd never been; even the furniture had vanished.
It was disorienting to open the connecting door between their bedrooms and look at the emptiness of bare walls and floor. Her husband was unmourned, and every trace of him had also gone. It seemed as if no one wanted to say anything about it. She wondered if McLain had been shot down in that very room. She backed into her own room and quietly closed the door.
When it came time for her own bath, she locked both doors and lolled in the hot water for a long time, soaking out the grit that felt embedded in her skin. She washed her hair, sighing with relief at the sense of being clean again, and leisurely brushed it dry. Eventually, however, she ran out of excuses to linger and was forced to dress and go downstairs for dinner.
The meal was a strange affair. Celia ate in her room, and the four people who sat down at the table were all silent for their own reasons. Emma, usually as self-assured as a Mother Superior, was pale and looked only at Victoria the few times she raised her eyes from her plate. Jake wasn't scowling, but his expression was dark nonetheless. He and Ben made no effort at conversation, but ate steadily. Victoria's own stomach was knotted in a mass of nerves and she only tasted a few bites.
Immediately afterward, the two men went into the library and shut the door.
Once they were gone, Emma came to life. "I'm going to my room," she said with heartfelt relief. "I'll have to read a couple of hours before I get sleepy, but at least I'll be able to relax."
Victoria nodded, equally relieved. "That sounds like a very sensible plan. I have some mending to do that will take an hour or so."
Very much in accord, they ascended the stairs together. Victoria sewed on loose buttons and mended torn hems, the mundane chore giving her back a portion of her lost reality. Many things on the surface looked as they had before, but the content had changed. Uncertainty was nerve-racking, she decided as she bit off the thread the last time and packed her sewing box away. The Major and Garnet were both gone, but her life was even more tenuous than it had been before.
At least she felt calm enough to sleep. She lifted her skirt to remove her shoes and stockings, then walked barefoot to the dresser to take the pins from her hair.
Her arms were raised, removing the last pin, when the hallway door to her bedroom opened and Jake stepped inside. Victoria went white. "What are you doing here?" she demanded.
For answer, he calmly turned the key in the lock and pocketed it. While she watched, horrified, he strolled to the connecting door and repeated the action. As casually as if he undressed in front of her every day, he then removed his boots and shirt. His naked torso was strongly muscled, with lean, hard bands delineating his ribs and stomach. She stared at him, mesmerized. A strange, warm sensation jolted her, and she jerked her gaze upward.
She stood frozen, her eyes huge as she searched his face. It was as expressionless as the day she'd met him, and she realized that this, then, was the final part of his revenge. She had been a complete fool about him; worse, even now she still loved him. It was a passion that twisted inside her, an ache intertwined with fear; she had never before known that a loved one could be simultaneously cherished and dreaded, but then she had never before loved someone who wanted only to wreak his vengeance on her.
"Come here," he said calmly.
Her heart thudded and for a moment pure fear pushed her to obey. Then her back stiffened and she put up her chin. "You think I should aid you in my violation? No. I will not."
He shrugged and a hard smile touched his lips. "It makes no difference to the outcome," he said, approaching to stand directly in front of her. "Neither will your next decision, but I'll give you a choice anyway. Take off your clothes, or I'll take them off for you, and I don't care about buttons or seams. It's your choice," he repeated, "but your clothes won't survive if I have to do it."
She looked directly up into his glittering green eyes, trying to read them, but his expression was closed to her. "Is there nothing I can say that will convince you to leave me alone?"
"No. I decided to have you practically from the first time I set eyes on you, and that hasn't changed. You can try to change my mind, though, if you insist."
She decided not to, because she was afraid she would descend to begging, and her desperate pride rebelled against that.
"You can even scream, if you want," he pointed out. "That won't do any good, either. It'll upset Emma and Celia, but they won't be able to help you. So what's your decision? Are you going to undress?" He lifted one brow at her, and hating her own cowardice, she lifted trembling hands to the buttons on her plain white shirtwaist. It seemed there was nothing else she could do.
She had never undressed in front of a man before, never dreamed that she would have to perform such an act. She unbuttoned the front, then fumbled with the buttons to the tight cuffs until he said impatiently, "Get it off."
The button at the waistband of her skirt eluded her, and with a muffled curse he pushed her hands away and unfastened the garment himself. It drooped around her hips, but was held up by the bulk of her petticoats. She removed the freed shirtwaist and dropped it on the chair.
"Now the skirt," he directed.
A fine shaking seized her legs as she lifted the skirt off over her head and placed it, too, on the chair. Now she stood before him in petticoats and shift, acutely aware of her bare shoulders and arms, and the fact that her nipples were visible through the soft, thin cotton.
He was only a foot away, so close she could feel the heat of his body. She tried to back away, but came up flush against the dresser.
His hard mouth twisted in wry acknowledgment of her action. "The petticoat," he prompted.
She untied the tapes and pulled the first one off over her head. He stared down in frustration at the almost identical garment that had been beneath the first. She hurried to release it, then closed her eyes in mortification as she let it drop to pool around her feet. Now she was clad in only drawers and shift, and hot color rushed into her pale face. Even on those two horrible nights when the Major had tried to consummate their marriage, he hadn't insisted on watching her remove her clothing. But this wasn't the Major, it was Jake. Paralyzed, she stared at his broad chest and naked, heavily muscled shoulders, the smooth skin gleaming in the mellow lamplight. Curly dark hair covered his chest, punctuated by two small, tight brown nipples. Oddly, she had never before thought about a man having nipples, and seeing his made her even more acutely aware of his half-naked state.
Jake stiffened against a surge of lust as he looked at her round breasts pushing against the thin cotton covering them. God, she was pretty, slim and ivory-skinned, delectably curved in all the right places. "Now the shift." The words were a little hoarse.
She turned white again and automatically crossed her arms over her chest. "No, I won't." But her voice shook, and Jake was almost at the limit of his control. He reached out and roughly jerked the garment up and over her head, forgetting about it even as he tossed it aside. His mind was on Victoria, on the pale, full globes of her breasts and the delicacy of her small, pinkish-brown nipples. He had wanted to punish her a little bit because of the worry and torment she had caused him by running off, but his patience and need for revenge had run out. More than anything, he now just wanted her naked and willing in his arms.
Victoria cringed as her breasts were bared. Not even the Major had ever insisted on seeing her naked bosom. She tried to cross her arms over her chest again, but Jake caught her wrists and held her arms down at her side as he leisurely looked her over.
"Don't hide from me." Heat was rising in him, swelling his loins with an intensity that made him shake, now that he was so close to having her. He'd never before known this kind of hunger, this overwhelming urge to have this particular woman and no other. "I'm going to see every inch of you before I'm finished."
"Why are you doing this to me?" she burst out, tears stinging her eyes. She blinked them back, not wanting him to see her cry. "What have I done to you?"
"You've got it all wrong," he said, his voice even hoarser than before. "I'm not looking for punishment. I want you, and you want me. It's time we did something about it." He released one of her wrists and put his hand on her waist, smoothing his palm up her rib cage, savoring the softness of her skin under his fingers. "You're going to enjoy it as much as I do."
She stared incredulously at him. "You're mad!"
Her disbelieving outburst told him a lot. He smiled and slid both arms around her, pulling her tight against him. "You'll see, sweetheart. I'm not McLain. I'm going to love you until we both go crazy."
Out of the confused, combined vortex of fear, shock, embarrassment, and outrage, only one coherent protest formed, and the words were a moan of despair. "But you---you shouldn't see me like this!"
"Why not?" he murmured, bending his head to nuzzle her ear. "You're so pretty and soft. We're both going to be naked before too much longer, and if you like to look at me half as much as I like looking at you, we may never put on clothes again."
She trembled at the very idea of lying naked with him; the thought was so foreign to her upbringing that her mind felt numb, unable to form the picture. She was pathetically grateful that at least she was still wearing her drawers, though she was afraid the garment wouldn't remain on her much longer.
"Kiss me," he said in a cajoling tone, but she couldn't. He cupped her chin and turned her face up to him. "Kiss me," he said again, whispering, and covered her mouth with his.
Victoria hung in his brawny arms, her toes barely brushing the floor. His mouth smothered hers, and she felt dizzy. Despite herself, she had to cling to his heavy shoulders. The raspy sensation of his hairy chest against her sensitive nipples almost took her breath. When she gasped for air, his tongue moved into her mouth, taking the deeply intimate kiss from her, penetrating her in that small way to help prepare her for the other. Despite her fear, his taste was warmly familiar, the scent of his heated skin so exquisitely tantalizing that she wanted to turn her face into his shoulder and inhale it more deeply.
A warm, heavy feeling was growing in her body, making her feel drugged. She pulled her mouth away but her head fell back, exposing her throat to his mouth. "That's right, honey," he murmured, sliding one hand down to her bottom and lifting her against the hard bulge at his loins.
She gasped again and moaned an incoherent little protest. He couldn't be doing this to her, she couldn't be feeling this way, as if she wanted him to continue kissing her, as if she wanted him to do more. It was a strange, hot madness, that she should want him to do the very thing she had found so repulsive when the Major had tried it. Her shock at her own lack of propriety made her squirm, an action that tore a groan from deep down in his throat.
He held her to him with one arm around her bottom, and with his other hand he pulled at the tapes that tied her drawers at the waist. When they loosened he closed his fist in the soft material and tugged it downward, baring first her buttocks, then her mound and thighs. Victoria gave a strangled cry and arched against the steel band of his arm, but he merely tightened it and lifted her higher, so the drawers fell to her feet, and then to the floor.
He picked her up in his arms and carried her to the bed. For the first time Victoria actively fought him, trying frantically to get away. She felt painfully exposed, so much at the mercy of his much greater strength and rampant sexuality that she lost control.
She kicked and hit at him, trying to pull free and throw herself off the bed. He subdued her easily, catching her hands and pinning them over her head, controlling her legs with his powerful ones.
"Easy now," he said soothingly, his breath warm against her face. "Don't be afraid, honey, you have no reason to be afraid. I'm not going to hurt you." His voice was low and reassuring, and he bent his head to brush his mouth across the tender joint of her neck and shoulder.
The hot touch of his mouth on her bare skin made her jump, and with an incoherent cry she strained upward again. He held her down, wondering why she was so frightened. Surely she knew he wasn't going to hurt her. But maybe her experiences with the Major had been even more unpleasant than he'd thought, maybe she truly expected the worst of him. His body was screaming for him to take off his pants and enter her now, but relief wasn't all he wanted. Victoria was so much a lady, but she was also a woman of passion and he wanted her to give him that passion. He wanted her to cling to him, her body arching to receive him rather than trying to throw him off; he wanted to feel the soft internal clenching of her release.
"Victoria. Look at me, honey. Stop fighting and look at me."
"Get off of me," she cried in a stifled voice.
"No, I won't get off." He shifted control of her wrists to one hand, and with the other caught her chin and turned her head toward him. Her eyes were wet with tears, he saw, but she hadn't allowed them to fall. He kissed her temple in appreciation of her pride, then moved his lips to her cheek. "You don't have to be afraid," he repeated softly, and brushed a kiss at the corner of her mouth.
"Don't do this, please don't do this to me." The words burst out, and she was dimly appalled to realize she was begging. She'd sworn she wouldn't do that, but the stark reality of being stripped naked had also stripped her of pride. She would grovel if it would stop him from hurting and humiliating her this way. "I'll leave, I promise I will. We'll leave in the morning if you want---"
"Now, why would I want that?" he murmured, the corners of his mouth kicking up in amusement. He leaned over her and lightly rubbed his chest against her nipples.
The contact, light as it was, rasped across her delicate flesh. She inhaled with a quick, shallow gasp, her concentration splintered. Her nipples were burning, tightening. He did it again, this time increasing the pressure a little, and the traitorous warmth in her began to blur the edges of her fear.
He kissed her, opening his mouth over hers. He probed her mouth with his tongue, kissing her in the slow, sure, purposeful manner of a man who knows he isn't going to stop at kisses. She made a muffled sound of protest but he kept on until her lips softened, until he felt some of the tension ease out of her muscles and she began to respond to him.
She didn't want to respond; she tried to fight it, only to find herself undermined by her own emotions. When everything was said and done, she loved him. Even knowing he didn't love her, that his taking of her was part of his hatred for the Major, she couldn't stop the warm tide of feeling when he touched her. She couldn't stop herself from welcoming his small invasion with her own tongue and drawing his taste deep inside.
He stroked his hand in one slow motion from her chin to her throat, and downward to cover her breast. She jerked in shock, alarmed by the first feel of a man's hand on her bare breast. His palm burned her, and the tightening sensation in her breasts intensified. He gently kneaded, then rubbed his thumb around and over the nipple in a circular motion that made her moan aloud. She tried to jerk her mouth free of his, but Jake deepened the kiss, holding her while he transferred his attentions to her other breast.
She began to tremble, but no longer from fear.
He finally lifted his head and looked down at the soft, pale mounds of her breasts, at the tightly beaded nipples. His sinewy, darkly tanned fingers were a rough contrast against her delicate skin. "You're so damn pretty," he said, and bent his head to her breasts.
His mouth closed hotly over her nipple. Victoria cried out, the sound strangled in her throat. Pure sensation jolted her and she arched again, but was still held pinned by his controlling hand and legs. She had never imagined he would use his mouth on her in that way, never anticipated the searing wet heat, or the prickling pressure as he sucked strongly, his cheeks flexing with the movement. His tongue flicked and rolled around her nipple, and she began burning, the heat twisting downward to pool between her legs. She whimpered, aware of the shameful undulation of her hips but unable to do anything to stop it.
"That's right, honey," he whispered. "Let me feel you move." He shifted his mouth to her other breast, awash in her taste, giddy with the sweet scent of her breasts and the feel of her nipples. She gave another little cry, the sound making him shiver with need.
He slid his hand down her belly and pushed it between her legs.
She jerked wildly, shock overcoming pleasure. "No," she cried, shaking. "Dear God, no!" Her hips bucked as she tried to dislodge him.
Jake caught her mouth with his, silencing her protest with long, deep kisses. She strained against him, but he kept kissing her until that storm of resistance, too, had passed. When she was limp and shaking, he lifted his mouth.
"You feel so good, sweetheart. Open your legs for me, let me touch you."
"No, it isn't right, you shouldn't do that---" She remembered the pain when the Major had shoved his fingers so roughly into her, and she shrank from the memory.
"Yes, it is right," he interrupted in a low, warm tone. His eyes were intensely green, burning, and---tender. "I want to touch you, I want to feel how soft and wet you are."
She shuddered. "You won't hurt me?" She wanted his touch. Her body was aching shamelessly for him, but the remembrance of her wedding night kept her from obeying.
His face tightened. "No, I won't hurt you," he promised, and wished bitterly that McLain could come back to life so he could kill him again for daring to hurt this woman. "Open your legs, Victoria."
She did, finally, her thighs relaxing enough to allow him to move his fingers. He did so gently, parting the lips of her sex and opening her to his caresses. Victoria shuddered again, acutely aware of the embarrassing moistness she knew he could feel as he lightly stroked her. But this wasn't like what the Major had done, she thought dazedly. He wasn't hurting her; he was rubbing her, exploring the sensitive folds with tender fingers, and he was breathing hard as if touching her there excited him beyond bearing.
"You're going to like this," he said, and brushed his thumb across the small nub at the top of her sex. An exquisite pleasure, so intense it was almost painful, shot through her body. She moaned, unaware that her legs opened wider as she arched against his hand.
He continued using his thumb, drinking in the small sounds she made, loving the way her hips were moving. The scent of her body was hotter, more intoxicating. There was fever in her now, the fever he had craved from the time he had met her, burning high to match his. Soon, very soon, she would be his. She was wet, he thought wet enough, but to make certain he slowly slipped one finger inside her.
Victoria stiffened when she felt her body penetrated, dazedly bracing herself for the pain, but instead the heavy, burning ache inside her intensified. No, it wasn't an ache, it was intolerable pleasure. She didn't know, didn't care. Her entire body was throbbing. She turned her head against his shoulder as he began moving his finger in and out, the motion enticing her hips into an undulating movement she couldn't control.
Jake groaned aloud. She was so small and tight he knew he'd have difficulty entering her, no matter how ready she was. She was so wet, trembling on the verge of satisfaction, that there was no point in delaying any longer.
Now, finally, he released her hands, but Victoria didn't think of fighting. It was too late for that. Fire was burning through her, her breasts were aching and there was a deep throb between her legs that she didn't know how to handle. Her body felt heavy and limp, curiously disobedient. She watched him without comprehension as he got up and stood beside the bed, his hands working at his waistline. Only gradually did she understand that he was unbuttoning his pants, and then only a fraction of a second before he pushed them down and off.
The lamplight was too bright to be merciful. A return to fear jolted her from her sensual daze, and she rose up on one elbow with one hand lifted as if to ward him off. He was plainly revealed, his strongly muscled body nude, his thick erection rising from the dark curls at his groin. She stared at him in terror. The Major hadn't looked anything like that. There was no way she could accept him inside her, he was too big, he would tear her apart---
"No," she said hoarsely, belatedly trying to twist away.
Jake hauled her back and mounted her, prying her clenched thighs apart and settling himself between them. Fear exploded within her, out of control, as his rigid shaft probed at the soft folds between her legs.
"I can't," she moaned, thrashing her head from side to side. "Jake, please!"
"No, everything's all right," he soothed. "There won't be a problem, you'll see. It'll slide in so slick and easy you won't be hurt at all. Just relax, sweetheart."
He knew she must be terrified because of what the Major had done to her, but he also knew that because the Major had done it and he didn't now have to break her hymen, she wouldn't be forced to endure that pain. No, he intended to make certain that this time would be all pleasure for her.
He kissed her deeply, and in despair she felt the rise of heat in her again, and the coiling tension that only he could relieve. With a sob she admitted defeat and lifted her hips against him, silently asking for his penetration.
"Please," she whispered.
"All right, darling," he murmured against her throat.
There was no way she could relax, no way she could be casual about what was happening to her now. He was going to do what he wanted to her no matter what she did, but accepting the inevitable didn't help. She was swept along willy-nilly, with no control even over her own body, which begged for his conquest. Her breath burst out of her in a shuddering sigh as he let all of his weight down on her and reached down between her legs, holding her open with one hand while the other guided his manhood. She flinched as he made contact again, his flesh smooth and hot.
"Jake---"
"Easy, easy," he whispered, and nudged the broad tip into her, following with a steady, relentless pressure that forced him past the restrictive tightness of her opening. Victoria pushed convulsively at his waist in an effort to repel the burning invasion of her body.
Hot tears slipped down her cheeks, at last uncontrolled. He caught her hands and moved them, pinning them again to the pillow, then continued squeezing into her, inch by slow inch, until he was in her to the hilt.
"Oh, God," he groaned, fighting the waves of pleasure that swept over him. She was so tight that he almost couldn't bear it. To give himself time he held himself still, embedded deeply inside her, and began again the exquisite task of bringing her to pleasure.
"It's all right, sweetheart," he said, kissing her over and over. His penetration had been so difficult, he wondered for an instant about the Major. But he dismissed the thought; he hadn't felt the telltale resistance of delicate skin when he'd entered her. Still, she was crying and it wrenched at his guts. He wiped her tears away and began to slowly move his hips in the way that would bring her the ultimate ease.
She lay limply, her gaze fastened on his hard, intent face, accepting the penetration and retreat of his manhood in dazed muteness. When she had imagined this act of ultimate intimacy, she had thought of it in terms of pain and revulsion, unable to comprehend why men seemed to want it so. Now, as her breath caught, she began to understand what, beyond duty, prompted a woman to submit to the act. It wasn't submission as much as participation, although her body was only now beginning to learn that. The heavy thrust and drag of his maleness was bringing the heat within her to full flame again and concentrating it in her loins.
It began slowly because both her senses and flesh were still shocked by his invasion, but it was inexorable. The twinges of pleasure became sharper, and as her senses recovered they focused on her own body, bringing it alive in ways she had never anticipated. She smelled the clean sweat that made his body gleam, the musky maleness of his skin, even the new and exciting scents of their lovemaking. She felt his heat, enveloping her. She felt his hardness, the strength of his muscled arms enfolding her, the scrub-board flatness of his belly rubbing against her with each thrust, the powerful thighs that kept her own thighs parted, the hardness of his loins that pressed into her body with each recoil of his hips.
Her hands moved, slowly and without her awareness, to his shoulders; they were hot and smooth under her palms.
Her legs lifted and twined sensuously around his hips and thighs.
Her back arched, tilting her pelvis to receive him more fully.
And it grew in her, that heat.
Afterward, she never had any idea of how long they strained together, or when the heat shattered the last of her control. She clung to him, gasping at his strong hands on her breasts, crying out wordlessly when her hips lifted to meet him. His hair was plastered to his skull with sweat; her hands clenched in it, holding him to her. He groaned, too, with the inward thrusts that were driving them into their frenzy. She was liquid fire in his arms; her body burned him, and enchanted him. He took the full measure of her response and gave her his, caught and shattered in a way he had never been before.
And the heat became too much.
She clawed at his back, crying again, frantic for release from the incredible tension in her body. She was shuddering, lifting, straining toward him. He drove into her with a heavy rhythm that rattled the bed on its frame. She moaned, knowing that if she didn't find relief, she would shatter, her heart would burst. And then she discovered that the shattering was the relief. Her loins clenched convulsively around his manhood, then her senses exploded in great waves that lifted her entire body off the bed.
He caught her hips and pushed deeper into her, thrusting hard. He went taut and reared back, his powerful body arching like a bow as his climax shook him. A hoarse cry burst from his throat and together they died the little death that was a death of self, and an exaltation of life.
She awoke slowly, feeling a physical soreness and a certain malaise of spirit as she had to face the morning. She would have preferred it to remain night forever, for then she could simply lie in bed with him and push reality away.
She was alone in the bed, for which she was grateful. Despite the heated carnality they had shared during the night, she didn't think she'd have been able to blithely crawl naked from the bed in full daylight with him looking on. Nor did she now; she stretched cautiously beneath the twisted, wrinkled sheet. Though her thighs protested and her breasts and lips felt swollen and tender, the only real soreness seemed to be between her legs and to her relief even that wasn't severe.
Her depression wasn't brought on by her physical complaints, which were minor, but by her uncertainty that had, perversely, been increased by his lovemaking. Before, the situation had been that she loved him but wasn't loved in return. A simple, if painful, reality.
She still loved him. If she hadn't done so, she could have resisted him, but she had long ago admitted that she loved the rough, hard-eyed gunman. No matter if he called himself Roper or Sarratt, no matter if he'd sworn vengeance on everything and everyone bearing the McLain name, she loved him. She couldn't love by half-measures, holding back in self-protection; nor could she stop loving him just because he'd lied to her and betrayed her trust. Whether or not he wanted it, he had both her heart and her loyalty. The sense of honor that had kept her with McLain even when she despised him would keep her heart with Jake Sarratt forever. So she had lain beneath him in the night, shocked by the intimacies he'd insisted on, burning with the pleasure he'd given her, and she had become, irrevocably, Jake Sarratt's woman.
She had given him everything, her body and her honor, her pride. What deepened the shadows in her eyes was the inner certainty that he didn't cherish the gift. He had enjoyed her body, but she remembered with sharp pain that he had also enjoyed the body of the woman she'd seen him making love to in the barn.
The bright sunshine pouring in the window mocked her, but after another moment of lying in bed she answered the mockery by rising. Even though she was alone, her head was high and her back straight as she washed the evidence of the night from her body and methodically dressed herself in her usual modest shirtwaist and plain skirt. After she had picked up her scattered garments from the floor, she sat down at the dresser to put up her hair. It was a moment she had been postponing, because she dreaded looking at herself this morning, afraid the night's sensuality would show on her face.
To her relief, she looked much as she always did, although a little paler. Her face was grave and serene, and if there was a depth of new knowledge in her eyes, that at least was to be expected.
Facing herself in the mirror had been difficult; facing Jake would take every bit of backbone she possessed.
Jake brooded in the library, a cup of Lola's strong hot coffee in his hands. The night had not left him untouched, either. He'd known he wanted Victoria; he'd even admitted to being obsessed by her. What he hadn't known was how strong the obsession was or that now, after taking her, he'd want her even more.
All of his plans had seemed so simple, but now he was caught. Victoria was a temptation he couldn't resist, a complication he couldn't solve. He and Ben had the ranch back, the land that was theirs by birthright but not by law. McLain was dead; though Garnet had survived, it was enough that he was gone. Jake wasn't inclined to go chasing after him. If Garnet ever crossed his path again, he would kill him, but for now at least Jake was satisfied. Almost.
What was he going to do about Victoria? She threatened him in a way no one else ever had, because she threatened him emotionally. Last night had shown him his own frightening vulnerability to her. He was terrified of his weakness for her, of how close and raw she made his emotions. The only way Jake knew to deal with this kind of threat was to flee, to protect himself by being rid of her, but he couldn't do that without losing the ranch.
She had been McLain's wife; he should be disgusted at the thought of touching her, but the truth was that he ached to have her again and again. She was so fine that McLain's ugliness hadn't been able to coarsen her. The night they had just shared hadn't diluted the intensity of his desire; it had increased it.
He desperately wanted to fight that desire, to keep himself heartwhole. He could send her away, but the thought of some other man marrying her made him grind his teeth in rage. And with her went the legal ownership of the ranch. He was caught in her woman's web like some stupid insect, and damn if he liked that idea.
He couldn't let her go, so there was no sense in even toying with the idea. He and Ben had control of the ranch, but they didn't have ownership. Unless he married Victoria. Then it would be his, and he would deed half of it to Ben.
He could keep the ranch, or he could protect himself by letting Victoria go. He and Ben had been born in this house; the thought of coming back to it, reclaiming it, had been the driving force of their lives. He'd fought for it, killed for it, won it back, but still it legally belonged to someone else. He could try to close himself off emotionally, try to protect himself with the wall of ice that had served him so well until now. But physically and legally, he and Victoria were to be man and wife. He really had no choice.
Ben walked in, sipping his own cup of coffee. He sprawled in a chair close to Jake's and eyed his brother with sharp awareness, both of where he had spent the night and of what was on his mind now.
"She's a fine woman," Ben said.
Jake looked up. "I know."
"And a real lady. I'm not too sure about that cousin of hers, but Victoria is a lady through and through."
Amusement lightened Jake's frown for a minute, and he grinned at his brother. "Emma? She's even more proper than Victoria. What did you do to her to get her stirred up?"
"Me?" Ben snapped. "She shot at me, damn it, and tried to knock my brains out with the rifle!"
Jake shrugged. "Victoria took a shot at me, too."
"She fought like a wildcat," Ben said, remembering the way Emma had felt beneath him, the way she had gone still when she'd felt his hardness pushing against her. He shifted restlessly and changed the subject.
"Do your plans still stand?"
"What choice do I have?"
"We both know the choices." Ben knew Jake would never harm Victoria, but he wanted to jolt his brother out of his brooding, so he said, "Victoria owns the ranch now. You can marry her, or you can kill her."
Victoria had come downstairs just after Ben had entered the library, and stood outside the door trying to work up enough courage to greet them. Jake had seen her as no one else had, touched her as no one else had. The memory would be in his eyes when he looked at her, and knowledge would be in Ben's because the things that a man did to a woman were something that all men knew, and did. She hadn't intended to eavesdrop, but in her hesitation to enter the room she had. And what she'd heard had drained all the blood from her face.
So that was why he'd been trying to seduce her. From the beginning he'd planned to make her fall in love with him so she would be willing to marry him and give him legal ownership of the ranch. She supposed she could only be relieved that he'd considered that option at all rather than simply killing her outright, as he'd killed McLain. It appeared he hadn't yet made up his mind about her fate, though, and the knowledge stiffened her spine.
She stepped into the library, her entrance making both men look around at her. She was still white, but composed. "I couldn't help overhearing," she said in a tone that was calm, if a bit strained. She clenched her hands together to prevent their trembling and forced herself to meet Jake's narrowed green eyes. "Which should I prepare myself for, a wedding or a funeral?"
Jake scowled; he still didn't like the idea that she had so much power over his emotions, but the fact was that she did. Here she was as calm and cool as a nun, all starched and buttoned, as if she hadn't dug her nails into his back and all but screamed with pleasure while he held her convulsing body still for his thrusts. The memory burned through him and made him grow hard. Kill her? He couldn't even form the thought in his mind. And how could she think it, especially after last night? Angered, he glared at her, his eyes icy green.
"The wedding," he said abruptly. "I've sent one of the men after Father Sebastian. He'll marry us this afternoon."
"Thank you," she whispered, and left the room.
At least there was no pretense between them, she thought with a bitter smile. He hadn't tried to lie to her and dupe her with romance. He hadn't even bothered asking her if she would marry him, but then, why should he have? She could marry him or die.
She sought out Emma, whom she found in the courtyard enjoying both the sun and their freedom from the yoke of constant fear. If for nothing else, Victoria felt gratitude to the Sarratts for getting them out of that.
"Jake is marrying me this afternoon," she said baldly, not knowing how else to state it.
Emma's mouth and eyes went round. "This afternoon?" she squeaked. Then she blushed and said, "Well, yes, of course, after last night---"
Victoria flinched. "You knew?" She was mortified.
Emma flushed even redder. "Not last night. But this morning... um, I saw him leaving your bedroom, carrying his shirt."
Victoria sank down on a bench and looked at her hands, struggling with her embarrassment. It was foolish, really, after all they had been through. Even though Emma didn't know the shocking things Jake had done to her or the way she had responded, Victoria knew very well and couldn't prevent herself from thinking of them.
Emma sat down beside her and hugged her. "Please don't be embarrassed," she said. "You'll be married this afternoon, so I don't think it's so scandalous to have anticipated your wedding vows by less than twenty-four hours. Unless... unless it was awful?"
"No, it isn't that." She paused, then said, "He doesn't love me." Victoria sighed and watched a rose blossom swaying in the slight breeze. "Now that the Major is dead, the ranch is legally mine. The only way Jake can get it is to either marry me or kill me. I'm terribly grateful that he's chosen marriage."
Emma stiffened, shocked. "Then you can't marry him."
"Pride would say so, wouldn't it? But I like living. And he'd have to kill you and Celia, too, so don't be so hasty saying I should refuse his decision." She found that there was, after all, some amusement to be had. She smiled at Emma. "And it wasn't awful at all."
Emma blushed and looked away, but a smile tugged at her lips, too. "So it isn't that the act is awful, but sometimes the man is."
"Exactly. One's modesty is useless and it's painfully intimate, but not awful." She took a deep breath. "The opposite, in fact."
Emma shivered, but not from a chill. She couldn't stop thinking about the suspended moment when Ben Sarratt had lain on top of her, his heavy arousal obvious. She had given him the cold shoulder since then because his frank arrogance irritated her, but all she had to do was let her concentration slip and she felt the imprint of his body again, lying all along hers, pressing her down.
They sat together, each of them thinking of a different Sarratt. At length Victoria's empty stomach prompted her to the kitchen, since she had slept so late she had missed breakfast. There was work to be done, now that two men had moved into the house, and she had dawdled long enough.
The Major had always been out most of the day, until the end when his mind had gone; in fact, practically the only contact they had had with him was at mealtimes. It wasn't that way with Jake and Ben. Their presence was very much felt in the house; they were in and out all day, filling the rooms with their deep voices, the stomp of their boots on the tile floors, bringing the scents of horses and tobacco with them. Victoria managed to avoid Jake, but cornered Ben long enough to get him to point out to her which gear was his and which was Jake's. When she had it separated, she dithered about what to do with Jake's clothes. Should she put them in her room or in the adjoining room? Perhaps he planned on taking that room for himself, since he'd obviously given orders that it be cleaned out. It would have been simple enough to ask him, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. After all that had passed between them, now she didn't feel comfortable approaching him.
Jake noticed that his soon-to-be wife was avoiding him to the point that she didn't even look in his direction, and he grew more and more irritated as the day wore on. If she thought he would put up with this she was going to be sorely surprised. It was bad enough that she had gotten under his skin the way he had, but he was damned if he was going to let her sulk every time she didn't like something he did, especially when she was wrong. He was still angry that she'd thought he would kill her to get the ranch; more than angry, because that meant she put him in the same category with McLain. He felt wronged. But most of all, he still felt threatened, and he was glad of any excuse to feel angry, to hold himself at a distance from her. Damn her for the effect she had on him! All he had to do was see her and his heart started beating faster, he lost his concentration, and all he wanted was to take her to bed again. He thought of the night and his entire body shuddered with pleasure. It wasn't just that it had been good; it had been unique. Shattering. He had never before been so lost in a woman, so focused on her to the extent that the world outside that bed had vanished. There was a lot he'd intended to get cleared between them last night, but none of it had been discussed. He'd seen her standing there, he'd known that she was his for the taking, and he'd taken her. Nothing else had been important.
Jake and Ben, along with the foreman, Lonny, were discussing how they were going to handle the problem of the few remaining McLain men who were still out with the distant herds when Emma tapped politely on the open door and put her head into the room. She looked only at Jake, studiously avoiding the challenging, hooded examination Ben was giving her.
"Where do you want the wedding to take place, Jake? Victoria says it doesn't matter." That was a lie because Emma hadn't asked Victoria, but it was a small barb intended to sting. Emma hadn't forgiven him for his deception, and she wasn't above giving some back.
Jake scowled, just as irritated as Emma had meant him to be.
"In the parlor? That's where she married the Major." Emma smiled as she pushed the barb deeper.
Jake's face went rigid. "No," he said after a minute, his voice so flat and calm it took a good ear to hear the savagery in it. "The courtyard."
Emma smiled again and withdrew. Lonny stared at the closed door with a strangely satisfied smile on his face. "Thoroughbreds," he announced. "Yep, them women are thoroughbreds. It'll be nice, settlin' down with women around. They tend to make men act better than normal, don't they?"
"What would you know about it?" Ben asked with a snort of disbelief at hearing such a sentiment from their foreman, who was as tough and wiry as they came.
"Hell, I been around women!" Lonny snapped. "I reckon I know the difference atween ladies and whores, and these are ladies. They'll make you two watch your manners, iffen you got any."
Ben began chortling and after a minute Jake relaxed enough to laugh, too. Lonny was a veteran of more wars, shoot-outs, and brawls than the two of them combined. Their friendship with him had begun over five years before when they had hauled him, dead drunk, out of a burning whorehouse. For him to lecture them on the difference between ladies and whores was almost more than they could stand.
Father Sebastian arrived sooner than Victoria had anticipated, and she wasn't ready. Even given the circumstances of the marriage, she didn't intend to get married in the clothes she'd been working in all day. On her first wedding day she had brooded; on her second she didn't have time to do more than quickly freshen up and don one of her good dresses. On the first she had been terrified. She felt a lot of things on the second: sadness, because he didn't love her and was marrying her only for the ranch; innate fear, for her husband would still be very much a stranger to her despite their lovemaking, and he was a hard, rough man who had lived by his gun; relief, that he wanted her at all, that she would have a chance with him; excitement, very definitely. He would be her husband. Even if he never saw her as anything but a necessary nuisance, she would share his life, his name, and his bed, and she would bear his children.
There were other differences in this wedding, too. The people surrounding her seemed excited, even happy. Celia was still suffering from the effects of riding and was not as lively as before, but the look of strain was easing from her eyes and her merry laughter rang out several times. Emma was a whirlwind overseeing the rush and bustle of preparing for the hasty marriage, but her eyes were bright. Carmita chattered nonstop; Lola was singing in the kitchen; even Juana hummed as she rushed back and forth on errands. Men were in and out, bellowing, cursing, asking the pardon of any female within hearing distance for their cursing, cursing some more as soon as they forgot themselves, some of the bolder ones flirting with anyone wearing a skirt.
Only the bride and groom seemed less than ecstatic, though to be honest the men were interested only because of the chance for a party. Jake was tense, and therefore ill-tempered. Victoria was acutely sensitive to the reasons he was marrying her and became more and more nervous as the minutes passed. When she dashed down the stairs to the ceremony that would make her Mrs. Jacob Sarratt, she was shaking so hard she could barely hold her skirts up to keep from tripping over them.
"This way!" Emma said excitedly, hurrying her through the house. "Everyone's waiting."
Victoria hadn't asked and had vaguely assumed that the wedding would take place in the parlor because it was the most formal room in the house. But Emma led her into the courtyard. Relief swept through her. The late afternoon sun bathed the courtyard in a mellow, golden light; the open space was crowded with, she supposed, everyone who worked for them now, men and women alike. The men far outnumbered the women, of course, and shifted back and forth on restless feet, awkwardly turning their hats in their hands. The women had decorated the courtyard as best they could with bright Mexican lamps, even though the sun was still shining, and colorful streamers that Carmita or Lola had saved from some long-ago festival.
Father Sebastian beamed at her as she stepped to Jake's side. A bit hysterically, Victoria wondered if he didn't find it strange that he should be performing another wedding ceremony for her so soon after the first. She had become a wife, a widow, and now a wife again with disorienting speed. If she had been at home, she would have worn black for at least a year and been secluded within her family. It would have been unthinkable for her even to consider another engagement for a year and a half, and here she was now remarrying only three days after her husband's death.
She fought back the urge to giggle, and jumped when she felt Jake take her hand. She looked at him with huge, startled eyes and was shocked back to reality by the cold green glitter of his. But his hand was warm, and when he felt how she was shaking he gently squeezed her fingers. The action steadied her, reminding her that, for all the violence and danger of this man, he had chosen to protect her.
She could remember little of her first wedding ceremony, but this one was crystal clear and she knew it would be engraved on her memory. Most of the guests were armed, but Victoria couldn't fault that when the groom was, too. The sun shone, the birds sang, men cleared their throats, the priest performed the ceremony, and she and Jake made the appropriate responses. All the while, her hand was clasped in his hard, strong one.
There were no rings, but she didn't feel the lack. She had removed the Major's ring on the ride back to the ranch, after she had learned he was dead, and dropped it in the dust.
Jake was also intensely aware of his surroundings, but even more so of the woman beside him. Now that she was becoming legally his, he was struck by the realization that by the laws of God and man he was now her protector; he had sworn to keep her from danger, to keep her warm, to never let her know hunger, to provide for her and any children they might have. He now stood between her and the harshness of life. Yet she was still afraid, because he could feel her shaking and her delicate hand was cold. Didn't she trust him to protect her? Then he realized that it was himself that she feared. How could she? But the fact that she did told him she was marrying him only because she thought he would kill her if she didn't.
The woman needed to learn some lessons about the man she was marrying.
Then the priest was blessing them, and it was done. There was a flurry of handshakes, hugs, and congratulations, and Carmita threw her arms around Jake's neck and gave him an enthusiastic kiss on the lips, then was mortified at her own behavior. "Welcome back, Señor Jake," she stuttered, and fled.
One of the Mexican cowhands produced a guitar and began strumming it. As the sun went down, the liquor was brought out. Whiskey and tequila ran down the male throats. A few of them grabbed the women and began whirling them around the courtyard, stomping in an enthusiastic fashion that had little to do with an actual dance, but a great deal to do with their high spirits.
Jake kept Victoria at his side. As darkness blotted out the sky the bright Mexican lanterns cast their magic over the courtyard and the laughter ringing out eased Jake's tension.
Without a word he put his arm around Victoria's waist and eased her against him, moving her into the slow shuffle that was all he knew how to do. She gave him a quick, startled look, then relaxed in his arms. Her head dropped onto his shoulder and she sighed, but he thought it was a sigh of contentment, or at least relief.
She felt so delicate in his arms. Her bones were as slender as a child's, her shoulders straight but still only a little more than half as broad as his. Her head tucked neatly under his chin, and the sweet, faint perfume of her hair elusively teased him. Her breasts were soft against him; he remembered how round they were, how pale and delicately veined, and how he had rubbed his face against them. Her slender thighs moved gracefully against his as they swayed together in dance; last night they had clasped around his buttocks in eager passion.
He had been half-aroused all day, unable to keep his thoughts from returning time and again to the night before. Now his erection pushed painfully against his pants, and he stifled a groan as he unobtrusively moved her in a hidden caress against his swollen groin. She looked up at him, and he saw her swallow. Her blue eyes were shadowed, but she made no protest, and after a moment she returned her head to his shoulder.
Ben leaned against one of the posts, watching Jake dance with his new wife. He liked Victoria, but then he should have known that Jake never would have planned to marry her if she'd been a shrill, condescending sort. He didn't know what they would have done, but marrying her would have been out.
He looked around the courtyard and caught sight of Emma dancing with Lonny, of all people. Ben would have sworn that Lonny had never even seen a dance before, but there he was, whirling and stomping and having the time of his life. Emma was laughing. Ben stiffened, his eyes narrowing as he stared at her. She wouldn't even look at him, but she'd dance with every clumsy cowhand who asked her.
Lola brought out refreshments, doughnuts and some squares of plain cake. The men swooped down on the doughnuts, which they called "bear sign," with yells of delight, and the dancing momentarily stopped. When it started again, Ben noticed that Emma laughingly declined all invitations in favor of some much needed rest. She found a seat on a bench at the opposite side of the courtyard from where he stood and contentedly watched the others dance. Most of the men were dancing with each other since there were so few women, but it made no difference to the mood of celebration.
Ben made his way around the courtyard and came up behind Emma. She didn't know he was there until he propped his boot on the bench beside her, and leaned forward to rest his arm on his raised knee. "How long are you going to run away from me because of what happened?" he asked in a cool, hard voice.
Emma didn't look at him. "Nothing happened, Mr. Sarratt." Her voice was as cool as his.
"The hell it didn't. You got me hard, and we both enjoyed it."
She hitched her shawl higher on her arms, but still didn't look at him. "I think, Mr. Sarratt, that you must be used to a different type of female. I'm not responsible for your---your body, and neither do I enjoy being treated like a slut who would welcome your rubbing."
Ben's voice got even harder. "What I think, Miss Gann, is that your personality would be a lot sweeter if you had more rubbing."
Though Emma knew it was dangerous even to continue this wildly improper conversation, let alone make it even more personal, she couldn't prevent herself from sneering, "From you? You flatter yourself."
Ben straightened, a little shocked, then stepped over the bench to stand in front of her. Without a word he caught her wrist and pulled her to her feet, then dragged her out of the courtyard. Emma cried out a protest, but there was so much noise that no one noticed. When they were outside he whirled her around and flattened her against the wall, holding her there with both hands clasping her rib cage. Only a few inches separated them; he smelled hot and faintly sweaty, and she trembled with primitive response.
Out here it was dark, although light and music and gaiety were just on the other side of the wall. A peculiar bubble of silence surrounded them, broken only by the raspy sound of his breathing.
He bent his head. Emma pushed her hands against his chest and said sharply, "Don't you dare!" but her protest was useless. His mouth covered hers, and when she tried to turn her head away he shifted his hold on her so that her head was anchored against his shoulder, his hand clenched in her hair to hold her still. The hard pressure of his mouth bruised her soft lips. Desperately she bit him, her teeth sinking into his lower lip. He cursed and jerked his head away, and wiped at the blood that smeared his mouth.
"Do that again and I'll blister your bare ass," he snarled.
Emma found that she couldn't free herself from his tight grip. She threw her head back as she faced him defiantly. "You were hurting me! Was I supposed to do nothing?"
He paused, then said, "I guess not." He lifted his fingers to her lips and lightly rubbed them. Even in the faint light spilling over the wall he could see that they were already getting puffy. "I didn't mean to hurt you."
She could barely breathe, though she struggled to draw air into her constricted lungs. She wished he would release her, wished she couldn't feel his hard body pressing against her from breast to knee. She pushed against his chest again and found that the effort still had no effect.
He was still looking at her mouth. "We have to do something about this," he said under his breath.
"No, we don't," she quickly replied.
He gave a soft laugh. "That's what you think, girl." Then he kissed her again, claiming her lips with hunger, but no longer with violence. He moved his tongue into her mouth, penetrating deeply and drinking her taste. Emma jerked in his arms, then the tension abruptly drained out of her body and she sank against him.
A fine, heady madness welled up in her, born of the increasing pleasure she felt at his invasive kisses. She wound her arms around his neck and forgot about the protests she should make, forgot that no man could possibly respect a woman who let him kiss her like this unless they were engaged. Nor did she protest when he slid his hand to her bottom and arched her forward, nestling his hardness in the notch of her legs as he had done the day he'd wrestled her to the ground. Instead she whimpered, her head falling back to rest against the wall, and her legs parted even more in an instinctive yielding. Ben instantly took advantage, his hips moving in the slow grind and thrust of sex. He put his hand on her breast, kneading the soft mound through the barrier of her clothes. He felt her tremble, felt her legs give way, and caught her weight against him.
He kissed her jaw and the soft hollow below her ear, his mouth hot and wet. "Have you had a man before?" he asked roughly, praying that the answer would be yes.
But she dazedly shook her head. "No," she whispered.
He swore mentally for a long time, using every curse word he'd ever heard and coming up with a few new combinations. Damn, why couldn't she have done it just once before? As soon as he had the thought, his mind rebelled against it with angry possessiveness. He didn't want to think of another man sliding inside her, even though that would leave his conscience clear to do the same.
There were only two kinds of women: good women and bad ones. A good woman let no man except her husband enjoy her favors, but all it took was one slip to turn her into a loose woman. A good woman was both respected and protected; if a man ever forced himself on a good woman, he could expect himself to be hanged as soon as he was caught. That was the way it was, and Ben would have gladly helped hang the bastard who forced any woman, good or bad.
But other folks didn't see it like that; if Emma went to bed with him, she would automatically be stepping over the line that divided respectable women from the unrespectable ones.
The barrier was so black and white, so absolute, that Ben took a deep breath and stepped back. If he'd been thinking marriage it would be different, but Ben wasn't inclined to marriage. He wanted Emma, but the decision had to be hers because the risk would be hers, and he refused to seduce her into it.
"Then it's your choice, Emma," he said. The words were low and harsh; he could barely make his throat work. "We can go upstairs to my bedroom, right now, or we can stop. If you decide you want to go upstairs with me, I want it understood up front that I'm not a marrying man."
That was certainly honest, painfully so. Emma stared at him, bereft by the sudden loss of his touch, the pulse throbbing wildly at the base of her throat. In truth, her entire body was throbbing, hungry for more.
She hadn't thought of marriage, either. She had thought of nothing except first, the anger that had filled her, which she realized now was her protective response to the instincts he triggered in her, and then the wild urge to give in to those instincts. Marriage? No, that wasn't what she wanted, she barely knew the man. This was only the second time she had spoken to him. And the second time she had felt him lying against her with heavy arousal.
But his words were a slap of reality, showing her what she had been about to do. She could lie with him, but for no reason other than lust. And when she rose up from that bed, she would no longer be a respectable woman. If she ever married, and she hoped she did, she would have to explain to her husband why she wasn't virtuous. The only other alternative would be to go completely away from her family and anyone who knew her and begin a new life as a "widow," which would explain her lack of chastity.
She had so much to lose and so very little to gain. A few moments of pleasure, weighed against a lifetime of respectability. If she had loved him it would be different, but she didn't even have that.
With the inborn dignity with which she faced every hardship, Emma braced herself and gave him his answer. "Nor is marriage what I'm looking for. Thank you for giving me this choice."
Ben smiled crookedly at her. "What's the answer?" he asked, though he already knew.
"No," she replied, and walked away.
At
She was glad she hurried because the nightgown had barely settled into place around her feet when Jake opened the door and walked in. He eyed the nightgown. "That was fast."
She didn't answer, because it was obvious to him how she had hurried.
He stripped his shirt off over his head and dropped it on a chair, then bent down to untie the leather thongs from around his thighs. She watched as he removed his guns and realized that he hadn't worn them the night before. He had come to her unarmed, and she wondered if he had done so to prevent her from trying to grab one of his weapons and shoot him.
His powerful brown torso rippled with muscles as he poured fresh water in the washbasin and bent down to splash it on his face. Victoria watched him, feeling her body already beginning to throb and come alive for him, and he hadn't even touched her. Her gaze slid over him, loving the hard strength of his body. He had several scars, she noticed, some of them so old they were nothing more than white lines, some of them still new enough to be red. She ached to touch them, to feel his heated skin beneath her hands.
He toweled his face and shoulders dry, watching her as she watched him. "Go ahead and take your hair down," he instructed, and she lifted her arms to obey.
Her hair reached her hips in silky waves when it was down. When she had all of the pins out, she went to the dresser and pulled her hair over one shoulder to brush it. Jake sat down to remove his boots and socks, but didn't take his eyes off of her.
"Good," he said softly. "Now take the nightgown off."
She moistened her lips. "I always sleep in a nightgown."
"No. You used to sleep in a nightgown. You don't now." He stood and began unbuttoning his pants. She watched without blinking as he shed his clothes, her gaze locked on his loins. He was heavy and aroused. By the time he was naked, she still hadn't moved.
He kept his voice soft. "Victoria. The gown."
She shivered, looking up at the determination in his eyes. The gown would come off, one way or the other. Slowly she reached down for the hem and began lifting it, revealing first her ankles, then her calves, her knees, the smooth columns of her thighs. He was as mesmerized as she had been watching him. The rising hem lifted higher, revealing the triangular patch of light brown curls covering her mound, then the gentle curve of her belly, the small indentation of her navel, the dip of her waist.
She stopped, her hands visibly shaking as she stared at him.
"Do you want me to do it for you?" he whispered, and she gave a small, jerky nod. He went to her and put his hands on her hips, but didn't immediately remove the nightgown. Instead he pulled her to him, and took her mouth with his. The kiss was slow and drugging. She dropped the hem and put her hands on his shoulders, letting the fabric drape over his arms and hands as he stroked her buttocks.
She was totally pliant when he finally lifted the garment off and carried her to the bed. His naked body was hot as he lay over her and covered her body with kisses. He tasted and nipped and licked, bringing both of her nipples to tight wet peaks. He tasted the underside of her arm, the curve of her waist, her belly just above her pubic curls. He rolled her onto her stomach despite her choked protests, and kissed her calves, the backs of her knees, up the back of her thigh, then gently sank his teeth into one rounded buttock, not enough to cause pain but to let her feel a slight sting. Then he worked up her spine, licking and kissing, sucking her flesh up against his teeth, and by the time he returned his attention to her buttocks she was writhing on the sheets, moaning with pleasure. One soft, fragrant location drew him to another, and he lingered over her like a bee over nectar, trying to sate himself on the taste and feel and scent of her.
He turned her onto her back again, noting the glazed look in her eyes and the flush on her breasts, the way her thighs naturally fell apart to welcome him. He took advantage of the invitation to bend and kiss her, his tongue making a brief foray that had her arching off the bed, and he saw the shock that wiped the sensual daze off her face. Before she could do anything more than sputter incoherently, though, he mounted her and stopped the protests with his own mouth as he carefully entered her.
It was a bit easier than before, but Victoria still flinched from the stretching as he squeezed inward. She couldn't decide if it was painful or so pleasurable that it bordered on pain. It didn't matter; her body was already so vibrant with yearning that it lifted, without conscious thought on her part, to his possession. He stroked her hair back from her face and kissed her, holding her until he had completed the penetration.
Victoria clung to him, wondering wildly if it would always be like this when he touched her. He did things to her that she had never heard of or imagined, and wouldn't have believed if anyone had told her. She was out of control, the gentility that was so much a part of her was forgotten in the tide of sensuality.
"God, sweetheart, you're so tight." He moved slightly and groaned aloud at the sensation. "Like a glove. Feel how tight you are around me."
She was panting, and her groan echoed his as he moved again. She dug her nails into his shoulders, her hips rotating as she asked, begged, for the relief she knew he could give her.
It was going too fast, but Jake couldn't slow it down. Her response drove him mad. He began thrusting into her in a hammering rhythm, rougher than he meant to be, but her hips thrust back at him with every motion in a frenzy that matched his. It happened fast, and hard, convulsing her in his arms and emptying him of both seed and strength. The satisfaction was shattering. Again.
Her body felt heavy and lifeless, so supremely sated that she didn't want to move. When Jake slowly withdrew from her she gave a wordless murmur of protest, but he rolled onto his side and pulled her into his arms, cradling her head on his shoulder. She opened her heavy eyelids for a moment; the lamp was still burning, but she was too tired to care.
He smoothed his hand down her body, slowly stroking her from shoulder to hip, reveling in her skin texture, in her graceful curves, everything about her. She drifted into a dream world brought on by exhaustion and pleasure, trying not to think, wanting not to think, even as the words escaped her lips: "If I hadn't married you, would I be dead by now?"
He went still. Desperately Victoria wished the words unsaid, because if it were true she didn't want to know it. He had married her, and even if it was to gain ownership of the ranch, she was still his wife. He had made love to her with care for her own pleasure. She hadn't intended to stir up the ashes and make trouble, yet now she had.
He heaved himself up so that he stared down at her. "I'll tell you this just once, then I never want it brought up again. I don't intend to have that thrown in my face whenever you start pouting over something. You were never in any danger from me. Understood?"
She was surprised by the anger she felt. "I'm not supposed to question your motives?" she snapped, trying to bolt upright. He tightened his arms around her to prevent the movement. "You lied to me from the beginning, you went off and left me to deal with Garnet on my own---"
"I told Emma---ah, shit!" he snarled, falling back on the bed in disgust as he realized what had happened. Garnet had interrupted him while he'd been talking to Emma, and he'd never finished his explanation. Victoria had thought he had simply deserted her. No wonder she'd taken the other two and fled! "Garnet interrupted me before I could tell Emma when I'd be back. I didn't abandon you, I had to go meet Ben. I'm sorry for that, but it can't be helped." He paused and gave her another hard look. "Now, did you understand what I said? I don't want to hear anything else about killing."
"I heard Ben say---" she began raggedly, and he held up a warning hand to stop her.
So he hadn't planned to kill her. That was nice to know, but what she really needed to hear was that he had married her because he loved her, not because it was the only way he could get the ranch. Her throat hurt with the strain of holding back the words, but she wouldn't beg. "Yes, I understand," she finally said. "You planned this from the beginning?" She swept her hand in a gesture that meant everything: the ranch, McLain... herself... everything he had done, even making love to her the night before. Had he thought that she would go more docilely to the wedding if he had already taken her to bed? If so, he had perhaps been right. She didn't want to believe that his passion had been calculated, but she couldn't deny that she felt irrevocably bound to him.
"Pretty much." He saw no reason not to tell her. "I was thirteen and Ben was eleven when McLain killed our parents and took the ranch. He thought he'd killed us, but we hid, and somehow lived. Ben was shot up worse than I was, and I thought he was going to die, too. We planned this for twenty years, working, saving money, practicing for hours and days and years with guns so we'd be good enough to take it back. Nothing was going to stand in our way."
"And nothing did." She added softly, "I do understand. The ranch is more important to you than anything else."
She waited, hoping he would deny it, that he would kiss her in that quick, fierce way of his and tell her that she was more important to him than any ranch. But he didn't, and she closed her eyes. It was a moment before she trusted her voice enough to speak again. "What would you have done if I hadn't agreed to marry you?"
He shrugged. "It didn't happen. No need to worry about it."
A cold wave swept over her, making her shiver. He misinterpreted the cause and pulled her closer, stroking his hand up her side.
"Cold?"
"No." Not on the outside. Inside, she felt frostbitten, but the words she needed still remained unsaid.
"I'll get you warm."
She heard the heat in his deep voice and her heart immediately began beating faster. Her body, it seemed, had already learned to anticipate the pleasure of his possession. She tilted her head back against his shoulder and gave him a pleading look.
"Jake..."
He didn't answer. He caught her thigh and pulled her leg over his hips, then angled inward. This time he entered easily, but her breath still caught in her lungs at the shock of penetration. The muscles in her entire lower body tightened and clamped down in eager anticipation, holding him, shaping themselves around him. She had no power to do anything else but cling to him.
Later, content, he lay on his stomach and went to sleep. Victoria stared up at the ceiling, the ashes of her very personal defeat bitter in her mouth.
The next day Luis entered the barn and caught sight of a bit of cloth as someone darted into an empty stall. He paused, waiting until his eyesight had completely adjusted to the relative dimness of the barn. Whoever it was had been near the stallion, Rubio, who was a fine-looking horse but also one of the meanest ones Luis had ever seen. Jake had big plans for that horse; he wouldn't take it kindly if anyone was foolin' with it.
Luis bent down and stuck a length of straw into each of his spurs to keep them from jingling. He silently pulled iron and eased down the center of the barn, cat-light on the balls of his feet.
He heard a sound, only the slightest of rustles, and moved toward it. His thumb eased the hammer back. He looked between the slats of the gate and stopped, puzzled. What was that patch of material? It looked like a skirt.
With a sigh he returned pistol to holster and walked forward to prop his arms on the top of the gate.
"Miss Waverly," he said politely. "Do you need help with something?"
The girl had been holding herself painfully still; he could see it in the taut lines of her body. Some game she was playing? But she jumped when he spoke, and the face she turned toward him was stark with fear.
"No," she said, scrambling to her feet. Bits of hay clung to her skirt. She stood in the middle of the stall, and the fear didn't leave her face. She was like a cornered fawn poised for flight.
Luis, though only twenty-two, had been earning his way with his gun for a long time. He was as lethal as a diamondback rattler, as too many men had found out to their cost. He couldn't remember, ever, any softness or love in his life, but in his early childhood there must have been a loving mother, one who had cradled her infant to her breast and crooned sweet songs to him, because Luis loved women. He loved the way they looked, smelled, tasted, walked, sounded, felt. Young or old, whore or spinster, slim or plump, from giggly schoolgirls to bawdy saloon girls to starchy matrons, he reserved for them, one and all, his sweetest smile and most liquid voice. He was used to all of them responding to him, even if it was only an involuntary softening of the eyes.
So why was this incredibly beautiful young girl staring at him in terror?
It piqued him. It hurt his ego. It softened his heart, because he didn't want her to be frightened of anyone or anything. Women, to Luis, were put on earth to be enjoyed and cherished. He wanted to put his arms around the girl and swear to her that everything would be all right, that he, Luis, would protect her with his life.
Instead he smiled, exerting his considerable charm, and held himself very still. "Were you looking at the horse, chica? He's beautiful, isn't he?"
Her eyes were dark blue, like the deep depths of the ocean. Luis had been to California and had seen that wonderful color. His entire body tingled in reaction to her beauty. But still she stared blankly at him, not responding to the warm reassurance in his voice and smile.
Luis moved back a step, giving her more room. "My name is Luis. Luis Fronteras." He had no idea what his real last name was, but had chosen, when he was still a child, the name of the village where he lived in the streets.
Her eyes flickered a little.
"It was very brave of you to try to escape across such land," he continued soothingly. "Three women alone, and at night! I admired you very much. I wished to tell you that you were safe now, that we wanted only to protect you, not harm you."
"I wasn't brave," Celia finally said in a thin little voice. "I was terrified. Victoria is the brave one."
Ah, the older sister, Jake's new wife. She was indeed formidable, with her haughty chin and cool blue eyes.
"Yes, she is very brave," he said with real admiration. "Where were you going?"
"We wanted to go south toward Santa Fe, but we knew riders were coming in from the south so we couldn't. Victoria said that there are Indians to the east, so we went west and were going to turn south in the morning, when we were well away from the ranch."
A plan, Luis thought, that could well have worked if they had been more used to the land. He nodded his head and reached out to open the stall door, sweeping it wide and standing back to give her plenty of room. "And the other pretty lady, the one with the beautiful brown eyes---she is your cousin?"
He knew well enough she was, but he wanted to keep her talking.
Celia nodded, taking a couple of steps toward the open gate but halting before she got too close to him. "Emma. She came to live with us in Augusta several years ago, during the war. Uncle Rufus and Aunt Helen had died, and Emma's fiancé was killed in the war, and she had nowhere to go. Emma is brave, too."
"All three of you are very brave."
She shook her head. "I'm not brave at all. I was so scared and all I wanted to do was hide. Victoria and Emma said we must leave, so that Garnet and the Major couldn't... couldn't hurt me."
The blind look was back in her eyes and with a spurt of anger Luis understood. It was inevitable, really. She was so beautiful, how could any man look at her and not want her? Like everyone else in the territory, Luis had known McLain and Garnet by reputation, and he could guess what they must have put this beautiful child through.
Luis left his post by the gate, carefully walking off and showing her that he didn't intend to corner her. He paused in front of Rubio's stall, and the big stallion's ears went back as he watched the man. Luis was too smart to lean on the gate within reach of the stallion's teeth and hooves, but he couldn't help admiring the animal. "You magnificent bastard," he crooned in liquid Spanish, "you're not good for anything but the mares, eh? You're too mean to ride, but what a life you have! Nothing to do but eating, sleeping, and romancing the ladies."
Celia crept out of the empty stall and stood watching him, still half-poised for flight. Luis gave her a flashing smile. "I have never before seen a horse as beautiful as this one."
She nodded and at last her own smile broke out.
Luis caught his breath, struck dumb. She looked like an angel.
"He's wonderful," she breathed. "I bring him things to eat, and now he lets me pat him on the neck."
He was alarmed that she would get so close to the animal, but he didn't scold her. Any hint of anger would send her flying.
"My name is Celia," she offered.
He already knew that, but he nodded as if she had given him a gift.
"I have a mare, Gypsy. Jake helped me choose her. She's really smart, but when ya'll were chasing us, Victoria made me swap horses with her because her horse is faster than mine and she wanted Emma and me to get away."
"Yes, a very brave lady, your sister."
"I'm glad that she married Jake. I like him, but he really should have told us his real name."
"He had his reasons, chica."
"I know." She sighed, and the bright light faded out of her face. "The Major was a horrible man. He killed their mother and father, did you know?"
"Yes, I know."
"Before I knew Jake was really Jake Sarratt, I used to pray that the Sarratts would come back and kill the Major. I know it's a sin," she whispered, "but I hated him."
"It's not a sin to hate evil."
"I hope not. I have to go," she said, suddenly taking fright again. With a swish of skirts she ran away. Luis watched her disappear out the front of the barn, her slender figure briefly silhouetted against the bright opening before she was gone from view. She was sweet and fey, and he wanted her.
The days after Victoria's wedding passed slowly. They had lived on edge for so long that the abrupt calm made them all feel as if the bright summer days dawdled along. Time didn't tick, it oozed. They were all relieved.
Celia began to giggle again, and the musical sound made them all smile. She dogged Jake's boot heels whenever he left the house, and although she was still shy with Ben, someone began playing practical jokes on him. Victoria strongly suspected Celia, because her sister had always had a penchant for that type of thing, but Ben knew it was Celia. He had seen her sneaking out of his room once, but he continued to pretend ignorance. She got such joy of it that he often exaggerated his mishaps, just to watch her try to act innocent while she was struggling with laughter.
But with Emma, Ben was held at a distance by a careful silence. She pretended he didn't exist, and he allowed her to do so. It wasn't easy, since they lived in the same house, but Emma's self-possession was such that it was possible. He wasn't sure how, but she could speak to him and still treat him as if he weren't there. It made him angry but he accepted it, because he knew the reason for it.
The days were busy. Despite their expectations of the worst, there hadn't been any trouble with the men who had been out with the herds. Some left with quick looks over their shoulders, some stayed. Jake and his men worked long, hard hours getting an accurate count of the herd and altering the brands on cattle and horses alike. Jake and Ben were often out of the house from dawn until long after dark. They would return tired and caked with grime, smelling of horses and sweat. To make it easier for them to wash they rigged up a contraption behind the bunkhouse: a small enclosure with two buckets of water balanced overhead and a rope tied to each bucket. Most of the men got in the habit of stripping, tipping some of the water over their heads, then soaping up and using the remainder of the water to rinse. Whoever used the water had to refill the buckets. At the end of each long hot day, there was always a line waiting to use the contraption, though a lot of the men still used the river if they were inclined to bathe. For some of them, that wasn't very often.
For Victoria, the slow summer days were filled with a deep sense of unreality. During the day she did what wives had always done; she mended, she made certain the meals were on time, and took care of the myriad and endless details of making a home. That was the way she had always expected her life to go, and the routine was as familiar to her as her own face.
At night, however, things changed. When Jake came up the stairs each night and entered her bedroom---their bedroom now---and closed the door behind him, nothing was as she had ever imagined her life to be. She spent the hours in a sensual daze, locked in his arms. She lost her privacy to dress or undress alone and had to accustom herself to his tall body in her bed. He touched her however and whenever he liked, and he liked it often. There wasn't an inch of her skin left unexplored. She drowned in the sensuality of the nights, her mind overwhelmed by the demands of the flesh, both his and her own. Sometimes when she awoke in the bright morning sunlight she was appalled at the carnal excesses of the night before and would swear that she would never let herself behave so mindlessly again. But her intentions never lasted past his first kiss, the first touch of his hard body against hers.
The more influence he exerted over her at night, the harder she tried to shore up her defenses during the day. If he had ever said those simple words, I love you, she would have abandoned herself totally to him, but the words he whispered to her were of lust. So every morning she tried desperately to isolate her heart from him, to wall up part of herself where he couldn't find her. It was pure self-defense, the need to keep a kernel of her being whole and untouched, a foundation on which she could rely if the rest of her life fell apart.
"A kitten!"
Celia's face was bright with joy as she scooped the tiny animal out of Luis's lean brown hands. She cuddled the ball of fluff to her cheek and the kitten gave a squeaky meow. "Oh, Luis, where did you find it?"
"In the tack room. Its mother must have died."
"Will it be all right?" she asked anxiously. "Is it old enough to eat on its own?"
He shrugged. "There's only one way to find out."
Together they trooped up to the house, where Celia begged Lola for a saucer of warm milk, which she placed on the sun-warmed flagstones of the courtyard. The kitten sniffed daintily before lowering its pink nose and beginning to lap.
Celia smiled. "It's old enough."
"It seems so." Luis watched her crouched there on the flagstones, her face intent on the kitten. She was so full of delight he wanted to snatch her to her feet and kiss her.
She looked up at him. "Where are you going to keep it? What have you named it?"
"I'm not keeping it anywhere. I brought it to you."
"You mean it's mine?" she breathed.
"If you want it."
"Of course I want it! I've never had a pet before." She lightly rubbed the kitten behind the ears and it arched up to her hand, but didn't lift its head from the milk.
"Lola said you'd found a kitten," Victoria said, stepping out into the courtyard. To Luis's surprise, she crouched down in a position identical to Celia's and stroked the kitten. "It's so pretty and soft."
"Luis found it. He said I can have it."
Victoria smiled. "What will you name it?"
"I don't know, I've never had a kitten before. What are some cat names?"
"Tiger?" Victoria suggested, then looked doubtfully at the kitten. She and Celia laughed together.
"What would you name it, Luis?" Celia asked.
He shrugged and sank down on his haunches to join the women. "I've never had a pet, either."
Victoria smiled at the slim young man, wondering if he felt a kinship with the little animal since he was so catlike himself. She liked him, even though she could look at him and see danger clinging to his broad shoulders like a cloak. But Luis's smile was always warm and gentle; he was never coarse around Celia, and he seemed to have appointed himself sort of a bodyguard for the girl. Victoria was glad and hoped Celia might lose some of her fearfulness around men. In general the men around her now teased her and watched over her, but never threatened her or gave her sidelong glances.
"First, is it a male or a female?" Victoria asked practically.
Again Luis shrugged, which piqued Celia's interest. "How do you tell?"
"You pick it up and look," Luis replied.
She did, holding the kitten on its back. The three of them solemnly studied its belly.
After a moment Celia said, "What are we looking at?"
"I don't know," Victoria admitted, laughter brimming in her eyes.
"Luis?"
He put his hand over his mouth and pretended to be considering the matter, but at last he was forced to admit, "It looks like a furry belly."
"That's what I thought, too," Victoria said.
Celia began to giggle, then they were all laughing. At the sound of booted steps, they looked up. Celia lifted the kitten. "Luis has given me a kitten," she explained to Jake. "We want to name it, but we can't tell if it's a boy or a girl."
Jake's face relaxed into a grin, and Victoria felt her heart turn over. He leaned down and took the kitten, his big, lean hand gentle as he held it up and looked. "It's a torn," he said, and put it down in Celia's lap.
"How can you tell?"
He wasn't about to get into one of those discussions with her, so he tousled her hair and said, "Practice. There were always a lot of cats around when Ben and I were young."
"Show me how to tell."
Victoria was watching with glee, waiting to see how he got out of that. Luis had turned his head to hide his grin.
"You'd need a male and a female side by side, so I could show you the difference."
"I suppose." She sighed with disappointment. "At least now we know to name it a male name."
"Call it Tom," he suggested. "That's a name, and it's a tomcat, so it fits."
"Tom." After a minute's deliberation she nodded, and returned the kitten to its saucer of milk.
Jake held out his hand, and Victoria placed hers in it for him to draw her to her feet. He guided her inside with his hand on the small of her back.
When they were out of earshot, she asked, "Can we trust Luis with Celia?"
"As much as anyone. She's too beautiful to expect the young bucks not to notice her, but he won't force himself on her, if that's what you're asking."
"It is, I suppose. It's just that she's so innocent. I don't want something awful to happen to her."
His green eyes gleamed. "Awful?" he asked in a deep voice.
Victoria blinked at him, realizing abruptly that he was escorting her up the stairs. She blushed hotly. "What are you doing?" she demanded in a fierce whisper.
"Taking you to bed."
"Jake, it's the middle of the day!"
"I know. What about it?"
"Everyone will know what we're doing."
"Do you think they don't know what we're doing when we go to bed every night?"
"People go to sleep at night. It's obvious we wouldn't be sleeping if we went to bed now!"
The pressure of his hand was inexorable. "We're married. It's legal." He was determined to break through her defenses, one way or another. He didn't know why, but she kept building barriers between them. When he came back to the ranch house every night, he always found an invisible wall between them, locking him out of her thoughts. Every night he would smash it down, but she would busily rebuild it during the day. He had come back to the house specifically to make love to her now, to see if he could destroy the barrier once and for all. He wanted all of her, every little bit of her, with the greediness of someone dying of thirst; he felt as if he'd been given a glass of water but told he could drink only half of it.
He locked them in the bedroom and stripped both her and himself. As he placed her on the bed, he saw the despair in her eyes. Despair filled his own heart. Why did she feel she had to resist him? Then she closed her eyes and twined her arms around his neck. For him, as well as for her, the why ceased to matter.
They came together in a rush of heated flesh, straining toward each other, already desperate with passion. The rest of the world was shut out during their lovemaking, but afterward, when she was trying to sort out her clothes, he saw the reserve in her eyes and knew he had failed.
Long after Jake had returned to work, he remained lost in thought. Victoria was his wife, but he couldn't say that she belonged to him. The knowledge ate at him. What was it that caused her to keep him that small, careful distance from her? Did she regret their marriage?
Her inner reserve hid secrets from him; he could sense their presence, even though he couldn't get inside her mind and read them. She was hiding something from him, and he was at a loss to know what it was. For the first time in his life a woman had gotten inside his emotional walls, stinging him to resentment by making him vulnerable, and doubling the resentment because he couldn't get to her as she had gotten to him. What was it? What was she hiding? Was it something about her marriage to the Major? Was there some lingering evidence of what he had done to her? It wasn't something she had done, he didn't think, but rather something that had happened to her.
The possibilities made him go cold. He was afraid to even ask her what was wrong, afraid he wouldn't be able to bear the answer. Every time he thought of her in the Major's bed he was filled with a bitter anger. He hadn't been able to bear seeing McLain's personal possessions and he'd had them all thrown out, but he couldn't throw out McLain's wife. She was his wife now---or was she? Was part of her mind still caught in a dark pit of memories? Was it more than that, something she couldn't deny or ignore?
There had been real fear in her eyes the first time he'd made love to her, but he brushed it aside thinking it was merely a result of the situation. He'd thought he'd won when she turned all sweet and hot in his arms. Surely she knew by now she had nothing to fear from him?
But it wasn't fear of him. It was something else, something that tormented her, and instead of coming to him for comfort she was locking it inside. Maybe she thought he wouldn't understand, maybe she thought he would blame her for whatever it was.
What had the Major done to her?
If he pushed her, she simply withdrew further. He had to teach her to trust him, and the only way to do that was to show her over and over how much he wanted her. As their intimacy deepened, so would her trust, and one day he would breach that wall in her mind. Whatever it was, he thought, he'd hold her and keep her safe and love her again. It wouldn't matter what it was, as long as he knew. He could fight dragons for her, but not ghosts.
Emma spent much of her time during those quiet summer days out riding. Their hasty flight had shown her how necessary it was to be in good physical shape in this country. Victoria rode out with her most days, and sometimes Celia would join them. On this particular day, however, she'd gone out alone because Celia had been off somewhere with her kitten and Victoria had been writing a difficult letter to her parents, informing them of McLain's death and her subsequent remarriage. They would be profoundly shocked no matter how she told them and she had been wrestling with it all morning.
Emma unsaddled her gelding. When she turned around to sling the saddle over the fence, she collided with a hard wall of flesh. She said, "Uummph!" and staggered back under the impact. Ben's hands shot out to break her fall. He steadied her, his hazel eyes intent as he looked her over. She was acutely aware of how disheveled she was; her hair was straggling down, she had gotten dirt on her white shirtwaist, and she suspected her face was dusty. A flush of embarrassment burned her cheeks.
Ben took the saddle from her hands and placed it on the rail. He took his time about it. She was usually so starched, but today she looked wonderfully tousled with her hair curling damply about her face. When he turned back to her she was still standing with her arms limp at her side, but now her face was tense. She felt it, too; he wished she didn't, because a one-sided attraction was much easier to resist than one that was mutual.
"Were you riding alone?" he finally asked, needing to break the silence between them.
She nodded. "I couldn't find Celia, and Victoria was busy."
"I don't like it. Don't do it again."
Another flush heated Emma's face, but this one was from anger. "You don't have the right to tell me what to do."
His brows drew together and he took a step closer. "Don't fight me," he said softly. "I said that for a reason. It's too dangerous for a woman alone, even when you're on our land."
She bit her lip, wishing her reactions weren't so swift and so close to the surface with him. "You're right, of course. I don't know why I snapped at you."
"Now you're lying, because we both know why." He reached out and trailed his finger across her collar-bone, the light, delicate touch making both of them shudder. "You can always change your mind, you know."
She swallowed, her pale throat working. "And then what?"
"Then we can stop avoiding each other. We have an itch we need to scratch because it isn't going to go away until we do. Then we can sleep at night, instead of lying awake."
Emma whirled, turning her back to him. "Thank you very much," she said in a stifled tone. "I don't think I should waste my time on a man who thinks I'm no more important than a mosquito bite."
Ben put his hands on her waist and carefully drew her back until she was pressed against him, fitting her bottom into the cradle of his thighs. He rubbed his hips against her in a slow, circular rhythm. "I've never wanted to do this to a mosquito," he murmured, and bent his head to kiss the side of her neck.
She shuddered, and her head fell back against his shoulder. Her hands reached back convulsively and clamped on his thighs. His hot mouth raised chills wherever it touched, chills that raced over her and caused her lower body to quicken. "Oh, God," she whispered in despair. How could it be like this?
Ben smoothed his hands up her front until they closed over her breasts. He groaned aloud feeling the way they filled his palms. He wanted her naked, he wanted to lie naked with her. His hands were almost rough as he turned her around, his mouth hard and hungry as it closed over hers. Emma arched into his embrace, her arms twining around his neck. She was burning up, and the only thing that could give her ease was his bare skin against hers. She was wanton and knew she should be ashamed, but she wasn't.
Ben dragged his mouth from hers and pressed it to her eyelids, cheeks, and mouth with quick, hard, desperate kisses. "Lie down with me," he coaxed in a ragged voice. "I need you bad, Emma girl."
She could barely think. She was dizzy, clinging to his broad shoulders because her legs felt so wobbly. Lie down with him. She wanted to, she needed to...
"Where?" she asked. Dimly she noticed that her voice sounded as drugged as she felt.
Ben shuddered, and he actually took a step to push her toward an empty stall before he realized he couldn't just tumble her in the hay, right here and now. It was broad daylight. Men were constantly coming and going in the barn; it was a miracle that someone hadn't already interrupted them. He sure as hell didn't want some cowhand gaping at Emma's smooth white body. She was his, and no one else was going to see her.
It took every ounce of his control to drag his hands away from her breasts and cup them around her face. He kissed her again, fiercely. "Come to my room tonight," he said.
Her big brown eyes were dazed, and she licked her lips as if tasting him. Anguish stole into her gaze, along with reality. "I can't," she whispered.
He ground his teeth together. She had to leave this second, or he'd forget what few good intentions he had. While he still could, he released her and sent her on her way with a small push. She went without looking back, stumbling a little as if her legs didn't work right. Ben leaned his head against the top rail of the stall, breathing hard. It was five minutes before he straightened and left the barn, his face taut and pale.
In the loft Celia rolled over onto her back and stared at the dust motes floating above her head. Her eyes were both troubled and curious. Ben had been doing some bad things to Emma, but she hadn't seemed to mind. He'd done the sort of things that Victoria had warned Celia that Garnet and the Major wanted to do to her; thinking of them touching her like that made her feel sick to her stomach. But watching Ben do them to Emma hadn't made her sick; she had felt funny, sort of shaky and excited. Emma hadn't looked sick, either.
Maybe those things were bad only when bad people did them. She felt confused, but was also aware of a calm certainty growing in her. What she had just seen hadn't been wrong. It was new and a bit frightening, but not wrong.
The kitten pounced on her stomach, and absently Celia rubbed its little body. She lay in the dusty loft, staring at the sunbeams, and took the first step into womanhood.
Luis found her late that afternoon over a mile from the house, sitting under a tree and teasing the kitten with a leaf. She looked up and smiled when he rode up, but didn't speak. He swung down from the horse and let the reins trail on the ground. "Your sister is looking for you," he said, sitting down beside her. "Why did you walk so far?"
"I didn't intend to. I was thinking and ended up here. But it's pretty and peaceful here, don't you think?"
Luis studied the endless land around them; it housed so many dangers he never thought of it as peaceful. It was wild, big, but never peaceful. At this moment, however, it was empty and clear of any visible dangers, so he said, "Yes."
Celia lifted the leaf over the kitten's head. It reared up and batted with its tiny paws. She seemed content just to sit and play with the kitten.
Luis said, "We need to go back."
She sighed. "I suppose so." But she didn't get up. She hesitated. "If I---Luis, will you tell me something?"
"If I can, chica."
She turned her head and looked at him. Her face was pale, her dark blue eyes grave. "What men do to women---is it always bad?"
At her words he felt breathless, as if someone had hit him in the stomach. He didn't want to talk about this with her. She was so beautiful. Until now her youth had protected her from him; he had thought of her essentially as a child, despite the ripe swelling of her body. The look in her eyes now, however, was not that of a child.
He inhaled, long and deep. "No," he murmured. "It's bad only if the woman doesn't want to do it, if the man forces her. If they're in love, then it's a beautiful, loving thing for them to do."
She nodded and turned her attention back to the kitten. It rolled onto its back, grabbing at the leaf with all four feet.
"And it makes babies," she said.
"Yes. Sometimes. Not every time."
"I've been afraid of it, afraid someone---a man---would try to do that to me. Garnet wanted to, and so did the Major. They tried to catch me alone, and the thought of them touching me made me sick." It was easier talking to him if she kept her eyes on the kitten. But she could feel his attention on her; it was like the intensity of sunshine. "I thought it was bad. But it was bad only because of them, wasn't it? It isn't bad by itself."
"That's right." His voice was very grave and gentle. "It's people who make it bad. It's like this gun I wear. By itself it's nothing. But when someone holds it, it can be good, it can protect, it can feed---or it can murder. What it does depends on the person who holds it."
The kitten had tired of the leaf and spied Luis's spurs. Flattening itself on its belly, it crept forward in a slow, comical stalking motion. When it was close enough it pounced, batting at the star and making it twirl.
"I don't know anything about men, about their bodies. It seems frightening because I don't know exactly what they look like, or how they do it."
Luis concentrated very hard on the kitten. He knew what she was going to say before she said it, but he prayed that she wouldn't, because he didn't know what he would do if she did---
"May I see you, please?" she whispered. "I want to know. I don't want to be afraid anymore."
His heart stopped, and he closed his eyes. "Chica, no."
"Why?" Then abruptly her face flushed and she turned away. "I thought---because we're friends---but it's bad, isn't it? What I asked of you."
"No, not bad," he croaked. He, who was always at ease with women, who always knew the right thing to say and how to touch them, was at a loss and shaking with tension. "It's just---chica, this thing that men and women do, this lovemaking---I would like to do it with you. You're very beautiful and sweet, and I want you very much. But you should learn these things with someone you love, not with---"
"But I want it to be you, Luis," she said softly. "You're beautiful, too, and you make me feel safe, and warm inside. I want to see you, and touch you, and learn how you're made."
He was simultaneously numb and in pain. She wasn't asking for sex, only for knowledge. She wanted to examine his body. He didn't know how he could say no, when he thought he would die for the pleasure of her hand on him.
He slowly unbuckled his gunbelt. The kitten played around his boots, but he no longer noticed it. Celia moved closer, until she was on her knees beside him. The afternoon sunlight dappled her face and hair, washing her in a golden light. He could barely breathe. Dimly he noticed that she was breathing in soft pants, too.
He unbuckled his other belt and began unfastening his pants. He didn't wear a full union suit, preferring two separate pieces so he could remove the top during the summer when it got hot. He thought of all the times he'd so casually undressed in front of a woman. This time his heart was pounding as he peeled his garments off his hips and down to his thighs.
A slight breeze wafted over his naked flesh. Celia's lips parted and an expression of wonder lit her face. Very gently she reached out and touched him with one finger.
His manhood began to stir. He'd prayed it wouldn't happen, knowing it would. Her warm little palm closed around him.
She gave a soft murmur of delight as he grew to full tumescence in her hand. "You're so beautiful," she said low. "I didn't know it would look like this, or feel so hard and soft all at the same time."
He closed his eyes, groaning with exquisite pain. "Celia, chica. You have to stop---now."
She didn't stop caressing him. "But I don't want to stop."
When his eyes flew open, she smiled at him, a warm, slow, very female smile. "I want to know everything, and I want you to teach me."
It was raining. Victoria thought the weather suited her mood, though she would have preferred the drama of thunder and lightning to this gray, steady drip, drip, drip. The night before, lying in Jake's arms, she had thought she would die from the sharp ecstasy, but today in the gray light she wondered how much more of herself she could lose before there was nothing left. She had been drowning, mindless with sensation and love, her last frail defenses wavering, when she had opened her eyes and seen him watching her with shrewd calculation. He had been gauging her response to him, deliberately taking her higher and higher while feeling none of the giddiness himself. It had been like a dash of cold water, and she had turned her face away from him.
She hadn't expected him to react with such violence, but he had jerked her head back around to face him. His eyes had been green with rage, his neck corded. But his rage had broken his control and he had begun driving into her, hammering his body into hers. Afterward, he had gripped her chin and said in a cold, hard voice, "Don't you ever turn away from me like that again." He forced her to lie close to him all night.
What was it he wanted of her? Why had he been watching her like that? Her lips trembled before she could control them.
He already had the ranch. As her husband, he legally owned everything that had once been hers. He had already deeded half of the land to Ben. She didn't resent him for that; the land was really theirs, after all. But what else did she have that he wanted? He didn't need her at all now; if he wanted to, he could easily be rid of her.
But she had also felt his passion; despite his roughness the night before, she'd felt it in him even then. He had been as much at the mercy of his body as she was to hers. If she truly believed that he could kill her after the nights she had spent in his arms, then she might as well put the gun in his hand because just the belief itself would be the death of her hope, her love. No, he wouldn't kill her. But neither did he love her, and that knowledge was behind all her fears and wild imaginings. Her body was safe with him; her heart was in mortal danger. It took all of her self-control to protect it and keep it hidden from him.
She sighed as she opened the door to Celia's bedroom, dragging her mind back to the matter at hand, which was finding her sister. She had had the embroidery hoop last, and Victoria couldn't find it.
It had been almost dark the day before when Luis had ridden up with Celia behind him. He'd found her under a tree over a mile away, he'd said, playing with the kitten. Now she had disappeared again, but surely she wasn't walking in the rain.
She went to the kitchen. "Has anyone seen Celia?"
Lola shook her head. Juana said, "I think she went to the barn. She took the kitten so he could play."
Victoria sighed. At least now she didn't have to worry about Celia's safety when she was out like that. She didn't want to find the embroidery hoop bad enough to get wet running down to the barn. She'd just keep looking for it in the house.
She began methodically searching every room and was on her hands and knees looking under the desk in the library when Jake came in. She glanced quickly away, feeling uneasy after the strange violence that had erupted between them.
He tossed his wet hat onto a chair and ran his hands through his hair. "What're you looking for?"
"The embroidery hoop."
"Under my desk?" he asked incredulously.
"Celia had it last."
He understood and reached out to help her as she got to her feet. Victoria would have drawn away, but his fingers tightened on her arm. He closed his hands on her waist to hold her. His voice was low. "Are you all right?"
She knew what he was asking and somberly studied him in the dim light. He smelled of fresh air and dampness, she noticed, but his body heat burned through his rain-spattered clothes. "A little sore, but that's all. You... didn't hurt me."
"I'm sorry. You made me angry and I lost control."
If it got much darker, they would need to light the lamps. The rain pattered on and cool air blew in through the open window. She could feel her own pulse beating through her body. "I'm fine," she whispered. "It doesn't matter."
He drew her forward just a fraction of an inch, but he'd been standing so close already that the movement brushed her breasts against his shirt. She slowly inhaled, feeling her breasts tighten and swell. "I'll make it up to you," he said against her temple.
Her throat was tight, and her eyelids heavy. "You know... you know that there's no need." She had climaxed before he had, and he had groaned aloud at her inner contractions. Even in anger, he had been able to make her respond to him.
He pressed his mouth against her temple, his lips hot on the delicate skin. He covered her breast with his hand. "I think there is."
Her hand was on his shoulder, his powerful muscles firm under her palm. Without thinking she flexed her fingers, her nails biting through the damp cloth of his shirt.
"Jake." Her voice was low. "We can't. The door---not here."
Slowly he released her, his green eyes glittering in the dim gray room. He stepped backward until he reached the door, and with careful restraint shut and locked it. Then he began unbuckling his gunbelt.
Her lower body felt heavy. She watched him disarm himself, then looked around at the library. There were chairs, very comfortable leather chairs, but no nice long sofa where they could lie down. She ought not to let him do this---a lady never would---but they were locked in a shadowy world, surrounded by the smell and sound of rain, and her body was quickening. He reached for her, his hands sliding up her back to clench in her hair, his mouth coming down over hers in a deep kiss that filled her with his breath and taste.
He lowered her to the floor, and she didn't even notice that the dark wood was hard against her back. She felt his hands opening the buttons of her dress and sliding it off her shoulders. The soft straps of her chemise followed. Her pale bare breasts felt the wash of cool air, then his wet mouth seared her nipple and she moaned.
"You taste sweet... and cool." He gave the heat of his mouth to her breast, and the nipple puckered against his tongue. He signed in deep, almost painful satisfaction, sucking in a rhythm that pinned the tight nub between his tongue and the roof of his mouth.
Victoria moved beneath him, her legs shifting, her hips reaching for his. Her nails were digging into his shoulders, a primitive signal of passion that made his manhood surge against the restraint of his pants. He tugged at the buttons to free himself.
Her senses were so heightened that she could feel her own pulse as the warm blood pumped through her body. She smelled the hot musk of his arousal and shifted to aid him as he fought through the bunched layers of skirt and petticoats to find her legs. She wore the common, convenient open-crotch drawers, and his fingers went straight to the open seam, sliding into her soft folds. His touch burned like a brand, and she made an incoherent sound that could have been a plea.
He shifted his weight on top of her, opening her legs wider with his own thighs. The motion caught the fabric of her drawers and pulled them to the side, blocking his entry. He reached down, hooked his strong fingers in the opening, and ripped the garment from front to back. Victoria gasped, but didn't protest; she wanted him too much. She reached for him, needing the hot slide of his flesh into hers. She could feel him probing and lifted her hips in silent invitation, but he held back, cupping her chin in his hand and turning her face so he could look at her.
She knew that her soul was in her eyes, and desperately she closed them. It was the same act that had so enraged him the night before, but she couldn't help it. He would plainly see the aching tenderness of her heart, the silent yearning for more than he wanted to offer, and that was more than she could bear.
Jake looked down at her face, cameo pale in the gray, rain-washed light, and his chest tightened as he watched her close him out. Last night he had lashed out in anger, hurting her, but he wouldn't do that again. He murmured a soft reassurance, and slid his arms under her to protect her from the hard floor, as he slowly penetrated. The sensation made both of them catch their breaths, and against her will her eyes flew open.
His face was very close, his breath mingling with hers as he made a small movement that lodged him deeper. "All right?" he asked in a soft, guttural tone.
"Yes." The word was barely audible.
The reassurance was all he needed, and he pushed inward until she had accepted his full length. He watched every nuance of her expression, hungrily soaking in her response. Maybe she didn't trust him, but she wanted him. She was his wife; he was entitled to make love to her as often as he wished, strengthening the sensual bonds and seducing her into trust. Some day when he made love to her, he'd see only passion in her eyes, not the shadowed secrets that lurked there now.
He shuddered as a wave of pleasure washed through him. Not yet, God, not yet. He tightened his arms around her and rolled onto his back, taking her with him in a tangle of skirts and legs. She looked deliciously wanton with her breasts exposed and her dress rucked up to her waist, her eyes dazed with passion. He put his hands on her hips and guided her motion. He could feel her thighs trembling as they clasped his body, and she bit her lips to hold back a moan, lest anyone hear them.
The floor scrubbed at his shoulder blades, and would be doing the same thing to her knees. Her skirt and petticoats were bunched up, hindering her movement, blocking his view. Their big, comfortable bed upstairs was much better, but there was no way he could wait long enough now for them to get there. He lifted her off himself and got up.
"Jake!" She looked at him, her eyes dazed and bewildered.
"Easy, honey. I'll take care of you." He hoisted her onto the edge of the desk and pushed her skirts up again, then moved forward between her thighs. His entry this time was rougher, but she was ready for him and felt only relief.
His thrusts were harder and faster, his mouth hungry over hers. Victoria cried out, the sound muffled. He was burning her alive and she loved it, loved him. Her body was screaming for release. How swiftly she had changed from the prudish young woman who had been horrified when he had seen her bare breasts! Now she would guide his hands or mouth to her breasts when she needed his touch; now she no longer even thought of putting on a nightgown, but crawled naked into his arms. He no longer had to coax her body into surrendering to every new sensation; she was eager for the hot, blinding pleasure of his penetration.
"God... I wish... we were... naked," he said with clenched teeth, his shoulders rigid with tension. He was panting, the speed and rhythm of his strokes approaching frenzy. She cried out, convulsing, and again he caught the sound with his mouth, holding her as she heaved in his arms and her soft internal muscles milked at his erection. He soared to the edge, and held back only because he wanted to feel every one of those small contractions. Even then, the timing was so close that she had barely gone limp in his arms when his back arched and he shook violently, spewing his seed into her.
What had begun with slow, dreamy sensuality ended with raw lust, and he felt drained. But he wanted more. He always wanted more. He slumped over her, and began kissing her again.
She moaned, her limbs heavy with exhaustion. He was getting hard inside her again, and she didn't know if she could summon enough energy to respond. Every nerve was tingling, her heart pounding. How could he push her like this? Always before he'd held her in his arms and let her rest before taking her again. This time he wasn't even pausing.
He loomed over her, his hands curving under her arms and over her shoulders to keep her from sliding on the desktop. His hips hammered and recoiled and hammered again, his shaft reaching deep inside her to her womb. She stared up at him, glassy-eyed; his face was so hard and intent that he looked brutal. His eyes were narrow and molten, the color a deep, hot green. Sweat ran down his face and matted his hair.
The edges of reality blurred and swirled. She heard a high, keening sound and knew it was hers, and he'd made no effort to muffle it.
She was burning, her flesh damp in the cool room. Her body shuddered under the impact of his thrusts. She tried to struggle up, but he pinned her down with his powerful hands. Her inner tension was already unbearable and getting worse. She began to fight him, sobbing with frustration. He controlled her, pushing her higher, his attention focused on her so intently that he was aware of nothing else in the world.
"Tell me," he rasped, wanting those damned shadows out of her eyes, wanting nothing hidden between them.
She was drowning, losing herself. The gray mists were crowding in, her defenses crumbling. The final victory was his, after all. "I love you," she whispered, and a small part of her was stricken even as her flesh shuddered at the climax of pleasure.
Jake crouched over her in writhing orgasm, his mind shattering. She loved him? Elation swelled in him; until that moment he hadn't realized how much he had wanted, needed, for her to love him. But the secrets were still there, because even as she had said the words he'd seen the sadness in her eyes.
Victoria heard both the echo of what she'd said, and the silence of what he didn't say.
She counted again, then a third time, ticking the days off on her fingers to make certain. She had waited each day for the beginning of her monthly time, dreading it because Jake would have to know; husband or not, she didn't know how to broach such a subject with him. But the day when it should have begun had passed without sign, and a sort of incredulous certainty had begun to grow in her. She was never late, not even by a day. Now, a week later, she had no doubt as to the cause of her body's failure to remain on schedule: she was pregnant.
She wasn't surprised, really, though she hadn't thought it would happen so soon. They had been married barely three weeks. But he'd made love to her every night, at least twice a night, and sometimes during the day, too. One of those times had borne fruit.
A baby. Victoria smoothed her hand down over her flat abdomen, then looked at her own reflection in the mirror. Outwardly, nothing was different. Inwardly, everything was changing. She was both frightened and elated. She carried Jake's child.
He didn't love her, but his child would.
The young woman in the mirror, sitting half-dressed in her petticoats and chemise with her long hair streaming over her shoulders and down her back, had an eerily serene expression on her pale face. Her eyes were calm, although darkened by her introspective mood. Victoria didn't feel calm at all; she felt shaky. She wanted both to cry and laugh. She wanted Jake's arms around her, now, in this moment when she first admitted and faced the fact that his baby was forming inside her. She wanted his strength and his passion. She wanted to lie with him on the white sheets and take him inside her in the act that had created this new life.
Her breasts throbbed, and she put her hands over them. Her eyes closed, and her lips parted. For the first time she didn't regret blurting out that she loved him.
He'd said he would be out all day. She would have to wait through the long hours until he returned home before she could tell him. Should she tell him right away, or wait until they were in bed together?
She would wait and see what his mood was, she decided, as wives had for thousands of years. If he was tired and irritable, she'd wait until after he'd eaten dinner and rested.
As it happened, Jake and Ben got back to the house earlier than expected that afternoon. The sun was a hot red ball low on the horizon and Victoria was helping in the kitchen when she heard the ringing of their boots on the tile floor. She stopped what she was doing, her heart going wild with excitement. She felt a little dizzy and smiled to herself; was it because of the child or the father?
"Victoria," Jake called.
"I'm in the kitchen." She wiped her hands and hurried out to meet him.
Both he and Ben were extremely dusty, their faces caked with mud where their sweat had run. She looked down in dismay at the clumps of dirt they had tracked onto the clean tile. They followed the direction of her gaze, then gave each other amused glances. They weren't accustomed to having to watch where they walked, but in the past three weeks they had been forced to adjust to the realities of living with three genteel women. Even Celia was growing up and becoming amazingly sedate, for Celia.
"We'll bathe outside," Jake said, trying not to smile. "Get us some clean clothes so we won't have to track mud upstairs."
"Certainly," Victoria agreed, giving their boots another appalled look before she went upstairs.
"I thought we were going to have a hot bath," Ben said.
"I haven't lived this long by being stupid," Jake replied, and Ben laughed at them both. They'd killed at an early age and lived the past twenty years by the law of the gun, but here they were, not daring to take another step because of the mud on their boots.
Victoria returned with clothing for both of them, as well as fresh towels and a thick bar of soap. "Supper should be ready by the time you're both clean," she said as she gave them their bundles.
There was already a line of men waiting to use the shower contraption. Cursing and mumbling under their breaths, they resaddled their horses and rode to the river, which was faster than waiting their turn. They stripped and waded into the water, catching their breaths at the chill.
Ben brought it up again. "We could have been having a hot bath."
"We could have been having a war, too." Jake whistled as he soaped himself. "Why didn't you tell her to have some water heated up?"
"She's your wife. It wasn't my place."
Jake grinned. As much as he would have preferred a hot bath, too, he didn't like upsetting Victoria. Like Ben had said, she was his wife. It gave him a pleasant feeling of possessiveness and of belonging. In the days since she'd told him she loved him he'd been treating her with a gentleness he'd never before imagined himself capable of. She hadn't said it again and the sadness was still in her eyes, but knowing that she loved him softened the hard inner core that had formed the day he'd seen his mother raped and killed. He was even more patient with her maddening reserve and withdrawals, knowing that she loved him.
Ben dunked his dark head, then came up blowing. He rubbed the water out of his face. "Ladies sure are a lot of trouble compared to whores," he muttered.
"But they make life more comfortable."
"Comfortable? Comfortable? We're freezing our asses off in the river instead of taking a bath in a warm tub the way we'd planned because you didn't want to upset your wife by tracking mud upstairs, and you call it comfortable? You've lost your mind."
"We have clean clothes, good food, and fresh sheets on our real beds every night; they smell sweet instead of like cheap perfume and stale whiskey, and they wait on us hand and foot. When was the last time you had to fill your own plate at dinner?"
"We have to watch what we say," Ben pointed out.
"As soon as we lose a button, it's sewn back on." Jake's green eyes glinted with wicked amusement. "Your problem is Emma."
"Ah, goddamn," Ben said in disgust. "That's another thing that's wrong with ladies. A whore rolls over easy, but a lady thinks the world will end if she lets a man in her bed."
"A whore lets any man who has the price get between her legs. Is that what you think Emma should do?"
Ben snarled in bad temper and splashed out of the river to stand on the bank. He rubbed a towel over his muscled body, his hazel eyes stormy. Finally he said, "No, I don't want her to do that."
Jake followed him, the crystal clear water sluicing down his body. He knew how frustrated Ben was feeling, because he remembered how he'd felt every time he had crashed against Victoria's rigid ideas of what was proper and what wasn't. Ladies were far more complicated than whores. A lady demanded more from a man than he wanted to give, but what they offered in return was a whole new way of life. They offered physical comfort, a warm sense of security, a sweet body in the bed all night, every night. Marriage was a high price to pay to get all that, but it was worth it. Even without the ranch he would have married Victoria, he thought, and looked up at the lavender twilight sky with a sense of shock.
After a minute he looked at his brother. "You could marry her," he said.
Ben pulled on his pants. "I'm not a marrying man, Jake. That hasn't changed."
"Then if it's just fucking you want, go to Angelina."
"I don't want Angelina," Ben replied curtly. "Hell, she's been had so many ways she can't tell the difference anymore."
"Exactly."
Ben scowled at him, then finished dressing without saying anything else. He wanted Emma, but not enough to offer marriage and that looked like the only way he'd ever get her. In a way it had been easier when he and Jake had just been drifting around, rootless, planning nothing but killing McLain and taking their ranch back. Well, now they had the ranch and there was no more riding out whenever they got tired of a place. They had a home and responsibilities. Ben wasn't sure he liked the sensation. It wasn't the ranch or the work of it; getting the ranch back had eased something inside him. It was the domesticity that was irritating him, the feeling of being hemmed in by rules. He wanted Emma, but he couldn't have her because of all those damned rules that governed respectable people. Ben realized that he wasn't quite respectable and never would be, any more than Jake would ever be just a rancher. They had lived too many years by the law of the gun. Under the surface the old instincts still ran strong. He just didn't know what to do with them any more.
Supper was ready by the time they got back to the house, and Victoria forced herself to be patient. Another couple of hours wouldn't make any difference; she would find the privacy she needed when they went to bed. She tried to imagine what he would say, how he would react, and found that she couldn't. They had never discussed having children. She felt a twinge of fear and gave him a guarded look, only to look away quickly again when she found him watching her.
She couldn't read him at all. He'd had too many years hiding his thoughts behind his hard face and expressionless eyes. She could see only what he allowed her to see. Sometimes she thought that open enmity would be less nerve-racking than passion from a man she loved but didn't know.
It was still early when he got up from the table and held his hand out to her. She felt the color rush to her face as she allowed him to help her up, and she didn't look at anyone as they walked out of the room. "Good night," Jake said, and Ben, Emma, and Celia each replied as his heavy hand on her waist ushered her up the stairs.
Emma watched them leave and bit her lip at the longing welling up in her. It wasn't just physical need that tormented her, but the need for what Victoria had found with Jake, the belonging expressed in the way he put his arm around her to escort her to their room. She wanted to feel that closeness, the partnership of marriage and a shared life. She turned her head and looked at Ben, at the hard, chiseled features.
He met her gaze and lifted his eyebrows in silent invitation. All she had to do to accept was to get up and walk upstairs. He would surely follow. Heat ran through her, and if he'd been offering more than a night or two, if it had been for forever, she would have gone and forgotten about marriage and propriety. But Ben wanted no claim on him, legal or otherwise. Her chest ached with the pain of having to deny both him and herself. She turned her head away and didn't move from her chair.
"Jake, there's something I need to tell you."
Her tone was troubled and Jake froze, his hands on the tiny buttons that marched down her back. He sensed that whatever it was she had been hiding, she finally trusted him enough to tell him about it, and suddenly he didn't want to know. She loved him; that was enough. He didn't want to hear about anything McLain might have done to her. McLain was dead, damn his soul. How could he hurt them now?
"I don't want to know," he said quietly, and pulled the pins from her hair to let it stream down over his hands in a warm flood.
She whirled to face him. She was pale, her eyes as huge as they had been the night he'd first come to her. "You have to know." She managed a shaky smile, one that faded as quickly as it had formed. "It isn't something I can hide or that will go away."
His stomach knotted. Suddenly Jake saw hell opening up at his feet. A flash of intuition told him what it was, and it made him sick. So that was why she had been so sad and withdrawn, why she had watched him so anxiously at times, why he'd sensed she was hiding something from him. God, why hadn't he thought of this? And how was he supposed to stand it? He couldn't.
Victoria began shaking as she met his hard gaze. "I'm pregnant," she said before she lost the courage to tell him. "I'm having your baby."
The bottom dropped out of his stomach and he stared at her, unable to believe what he'd heard her say. He felt empty, as if his heart and lungs and guts had all been torn out. And then in a rush he was filled with a bitter rage even stronger than what he had felt twenty years before, when he had watched his mother die.
Victoria's betrayal cut at him like a knife in the gut. How could she have said that, how could she have the gall to expect to pass McLain's child off as his? Did she think he was stupid? That he didn't know McLain had used her as his wife? She hadn't been a virgin the first time Jake had had her, and that was only three weeks ago. If she were pregnant now, the child could only be McLain's. Did she think he didn't know that? It was bad enough that she was carrying that son of a bitch's whelp, but if she thought he would let the little bastard have the Sarratt name, the name of the family its father had murdered---
Black fog clouded the edges of his vision. A dull roaring filled his ears. He saw her pale face, the soft lips that had just voiced a lie so monstrous he couldn't believe it, and without planning, without knowing he was going to do it, he struck her.
The full force of his arm was behind the blow. If he had used his fist instead of his open hand, it would have broken her jaw. Victoria saw it coming, had a split second of comprehension, but that wasn't enough to give her time to move. His hand crashed into her face, slamming her around and to the side. She thudded against the wall and slid to the floor like a broken doll.
He stood over her, his fists clenched and his eyes like green ice. The fires of hell would look like his eyes, she thought dazedly, seeing him through a fog. He was going to kill her, and she was still too numb to protect herself.
"Goddamn you," he said in a hoarse, violent tone. "There's no way in hell I'll let McLain's bastard have my name."
She let her eyes close as she gave in to the grayness rising in her. She wanted to let that blank world claim her; it would be much easier than facing what had just happened. Then comprehension of his words sank in, and she forced her eyes to open again.
She wet her lips and tasted blood. Her tongue felt thick and unwieldy, her lips puffy and numb. It was difficult to form the words but desperation drove her; how could he have drawn such a horrible misconclusion? No matter how hurt she was, she couldn't let him think that, ever. She tried to push herself into a sitting position. "No," she croaked. "Not his baby. Yours."
The rage flared up hotly, but he didn't move or speak. He'd never struck a woman before and part of his brain was horrified at what he'd done; when she had slammed into the wall he'd known an instant of sheer terror that he might have killed her. But how could she keep saying it was his baby? If she was far enough along to know she was pregnant, then it had to be McLain's.
He leaned down and jerked her to her feet. The pain made her gasp and try to pull away from him. He realized he was far from being in control and dropped his hands. She began to crumple and he grabbed her.
She took a deep breath, steadying herself, straightening her spine with the characteristic motion that wrenched at him. Carefully she stepped back out of his grasp.
He found his own control, but it in no way lessened his rage; it was in his eyes, in the rigid muscles of his face, in the harsh menace of his voice. "I'm not a fool, Victoria. I can count, and there's no way you could know yet if the baby were mine. We've only been married three weeks, not three months."
She was still so dazed that she couldn't formulate the words to tell him, couldn't explain that her menses were a week late and she'd never been late before, not even by a day, couldn't think of all the ways to convince him that the baby was his. The numbness was rapidly leaving her face and behind it came pain.
Her cheek was burning like fire. Blood from her split lip dripped down her chin and she wiped it away, then stared in confusion at the red smear on her fingers.
"How far along are you? God, I knew you were hiding something," he said harshly, shaking his head at his own stupidity. "I just never thought you'd try to pass McLain's bastard off as mine." Abruptly his eyes narrowed as suspicion crossed his face. "Or did you plan it all along? Maybe that's why you didn't kick up a fuss about marrying me. Too bad you weren't smart enough to keep this news to yourself for another month or so; I probably would have believed it was mine, then, at least until it came early. Or are you so far along you were afraid you'd begin showing before another month was up? That's it, isn't it?"
She could only wag her head back and forth, dumb with shock and disbelief at what had happened, what he was saying.
Jake watched her, waiting for an explanation or a denial. He felt caught in a nightmare, once again living through the destruction of his safe and comfortable life, and he desperately needed for her to give him some explanation that would help him understand what she had done. But she just stood there, the imprint of his hand turning from white to red to purple as the bruising on her face began to show, and her bloody lower lip puffing up. The visual evidence of the damage he'd done made his stomach suddenly twist with nausea.
But still she stood silent and frail. Her hair was straggling across her face and shoulders, her dress hanging half off. Despite himself, he reached out to push her hair away from her face. She flinched from his hand and he let it drop to his side. The heaviness of defeat was beginning to drag at his rage, sapping it away, but there was no way he could let her do what she'd planned.
"It can't live here," he said. "No brat of McLain's is going to be raised on this ranch or bear my name. When it's born, I'll send it back East somewhere. You've got until it's born to decide if you're going to stay here or go with it."
Except for the imprint of his hand, her face was paper white. She shuddered and tried to pull herself together. "You're wrong," she whispered. The words sounded mushy because of her thickened lip, and moving her jaw sent pain shooting along her skull. "You're the father."
"Don't lie to me!" he roared, the anger rushing back. "There's no way you could know you're pregnant if the baby were mine."
She twisted her hands together, racked with pain, at a loss as to how to make him believe her. "I---I'm not certain yet! It's just that... I think I am. My m-monthly time is late, and I've never been late before."
His eyes were like ice. "You're backtracking, and it isn't working. What you said was, 'I'm pregnant, I'm having your baby.' You sounded pretty certain to me, so don't try to change your mind now."
"But it couldn't be the Major's baby!" she cried. "We didn't... he couldn't---" She couldn't finish for the tears clogging her throat.
He stared at her incredulously for a moment, his eyes so cold she felt a chill run down her spine. "McLain humped every woman who'd stand still for him and some who didn't. You can't pretend he wasn't more than capable of doing the same to you. And if he 'couldn't,' why the hell weren't you a virgin the first time I made love to you? Maybe you didn't know a man can tell the difference, but we can. Don't tell me that he 'couldn't,' damn you."
The chill grew colder, and she felt as if the blood would congeal in her veins. She'd told him the truth and he didn't believe her, moreover, there was nothing she could say to change his mind. There was no proof she was even pregnant; she just knew she was.
And she certainly knew the child wasn't the Major's, but how could she convince Jake of that now? She felt the death knell of her hopes in the heavy beat of her heart against her rib cage; if he had ever known her at all, if he had ever felt anything for her, he would realize she could never betray him in such a despicable manner. But now, in the most awful way, she'd learned once and for all that he had never even come close to loving her.
Her ears were ringing, her face burning. Shock and pain numbed her; she stared at him as if she didn't recognize him, her eyes shadowed pools in a bloodless face. She moved back from him another step. "Count the days," she finally said in a dull, even tone. "From the night you first came to me until this baby is born, count them, damn you! Then tell me if you still think it came early. I've been yours for three weeks now. You say I couldn't possibly know if I was carrying a child unless I was a couple of months along, so you think this baby must be the Major's. But I can tell, and I do know. I've known that I've been with child for one week, not four! So you count the days, and you wait and see if this baby comes in less than nine full months. But, while you're waiting, while you watch the sixth, and seventh, and eighth months go by, remember this: Even if it has your face so that you can't deny it, I'll take it away from you, because you don't have anything except hate to give to a child!"
She pulled her sagging dress up over her shoulders and lifted her skirts, sweeping by him just as she had in the beginning, as if she would be contaminated if she touched him. His jaw set, Jake watched her walk from the room. He wanted to go after her, to shake her and vent his rage at her for harboring McLain's child in her body; her flesh that belonged to him, damn it! But there had been something in her eyes, a mixture of hurt and rage that gave him pause. Victoria had cursed at him; he'd never heard her swear before, never seen her so distraught. Uncertainty gnawed at him. Could she have been telling the truth?
No. McLain had been capable, all right.
But, somehow, Victoria had always seemed so innocent. The night he had first taken her, she'd been unmistakably shocked by the things he'd wanted to do, the things he'd done. All right, so she hadn't liked it with the Major; he could understand that. But there was no way he could believe McLain hadn't slept with her. The Major had been a lot of things, but impotent wasn't one of them.
Victoria went into one of the spare bedrooms and carefully locked the door, not because she thought Jake would try to enter but to insure that no one else did. What would she say if Emma or Celia came in? She was too shattered even to try to explain.
There was no linen on the bed, no fresh cool water in which to soak a cloth to press to her burning cheek. But at least there was a lamp, which she lit. She felt as if she might vomit, but a quick search of the room yielded neither basin nor chamberpot. She sank onto the bare mattress, her teeth clenched together to hold back the surge of nausea. The pressure made her jaw ache, and she probed that side of her face with cautious fingers. Her cheek was puffy and sore, but she didn't think anything was broken.
She tried to think, tried to sort out her rioting emotions, but no order presented itself. Jake didn't believe the baby was his. He had struck her. Moreover, he actually thought her capable of that sort of betrayal.
This would unavoidably affect everyone else in the house, like waves rippling out from a stone tossed into a lake. She regretted that, both for their discomfort and her own humiliation. Still, she knew there was nothing she could do to hide their estrangement.
She thought of packing in the morning and leaving immediately, and a harsh, bitter little laugh erupted into the silence. She was still in exactly the same situation she had been in as the Major's wife; she had no money of her own, and no way of leaving without Jake's permission and help. But while she had desperately yearned to be away from the Major, she didn't want to run now. She wanted to stay.
It grew slowly, a hard, bright little kernel of anger, as she realized she had meant every word she had said to Jake. She had asked why he had deliberately lied to her about his identity, but she hadn't really berated him for it. She had accepted it, accommodated him in marriage to give him back the ranch that had been stolen from him, given herself heart and soul to him. He had taken all of this and returned only hate. His hatred for the Major was all-consuming; even now, after the man was dead and buried, it still colored everything Jake thought and did.
No, she wouldn't make it easy for him by running away. She wanted to be right under his nose so he could see every inch she grew as her belly expanded with his child. She wanted him to count the days, and sweat. She wanted remorse to eat him alive, the same way his precious hatred had consumed him. Let him sleep with guilt as he had slept with vengeance and mistrust.
If she hadn't loved him so much, she would never have felt so betrayed by his lack of trust in her word, in her very integrity. He wasn't the only one who craved vengeance. She realized that she might not feel the same way in a few days, but right now she wanted to hurt him as he had hurt her. She couldn't take her revenge with a bullet, but he wouldn't walk away unscathed. She swore it.
The next morning after he'd left the house, she went into their bedroom and moved her things to the spare room. She made up the bed, carried in both chamberpot and washbasin, made certain the lamp was filled and that there was a supply of fresh candles if she needed them.
The injured side of her face was more stiff than actually painful. Her cut lip and the knot on the side of her head where she had slammed into the wall were more painful than her face.
Emma opened the door as she sat on the floor, putting her underwear away in a dresser drawer. "Victoria, what on earth are you doing?"
"Moving my things into this room," she replied calmly.
"So I see, but why?"
Victoria turned to look at Emma, inadvertently revealing the bruised side of her face. Emma gasped and rushed forward. "Your face! What happened?"
"I fell," Victoria said flatly.
Concern darkened Emma's eyes, then her gaze narrowed as she put two and two together.
"I don't want the household upset," Victoria said, her voice steady. "As far as everyone is concerned, I slipped and fell and hit my face."
"Yes, of course," Emma agreed blankly.
"Jake and I have quarreled."
Emma thought Victoria was understating that obvious fact. "Is there anything I can do?"
Victoria looked down at the soft cotton chemises folded in her lap and didn't answer the question. Instead she said, "I'm going to have a baby."
Emma gasped. "But that's wonderful!"
"I thought so, yes."
"Jake... doesn't?"
"He doesn't think he's the father. He accused me of trying to pass the Major's child off as his."
"Dear God." Emma sank down beside Victoria. It was so ridiculous she found it hard to believe. "Didn't you tell him that the Major couldn't... do that?"
"Yes. He didn't believe me about that, either. We both know that the Major still visited Angelina, and evidently he was incapable only with me." Thank God, she mentally added.
"But why would he assume that the baby isn't his?" Emma was horrified at Jake's conclusion.
"Because we've only been married for three weeks. He says I couldn't possibly know I'm pregnant in such a short time if it were his. You know how regular my monthlies have always been," she said bitterly. "I'm a week late. What else could it be? I was so excited that I wanted him to know right away, so I told him. It's always been so convenient, knowing exactly what day my time of the month would start, but now I wish I had been so irregular that it would have been two months before I noticed!"
Emma put her hand on Victoria's arm. "I'm sorry," she said helplessly. "I don't know what to say."
"There's nothing left to be said." Jake had said it all.
"Perhaps if I talked to him---"
"No." She managed a smile and hugged Emma. "I know you're willing and I appreciate it, but he won't believe you, either."
"We won't know unless I try," Emma said gently.
"Even if he changes his mind, it won't change the fact that he thought me capable of such a despicable trick."
"But I want to do something!"
"You can. Try not to let this upset Celia too much, and carry on just as you normally would have. We have to live in this house; I don't want to embroil everyone in our argument."
"Do you think that's possible?"
Victoria managed a tired smile. "Probably not, but I'm going to try."
Jake hadn't chased after Victoria the night before because he'd still been so enraged himself. He'd slept very little, lying on top of the bed without even bothering to remove his boots, and was up before dawn. He pushed himself hard all day, doing the most physical work he could find, hoping to tire himself so much that it would take the edge off his anger. When he finally rode toward home, every muscle in him was protesting. He welcomed the discomfort.
He didn't see Victoria downstairs, though Emma was whisking about making certain the table was set for supper. Things looked normal enough, though he knew they weren't. He slowly climbed the stairs to their bedroom, his heart thudding in his chest. He'd have to apologize to her for hitting her, it had been tormenting him all day. It would never happen again, but he knew he would have to work hard to earn her trust again so that she could believe that. He opened the door, braced for his first sight of her since their fight, but the room was empty.
The reprieve left him feeling a little flat. He tossed his hat aside and stripped off his dirty shirt, then poured water into the basin and leaned over to wash his face. As he straightened, he realized that the room seemed different, not just empty.
His spine slowly stiffened as he looked around. His gaze lit on the dressing table, and he examined its bare surface. With two quick strides he reached the armoire and flung the doors open. His clothes remained, but there was only an empty space where Victoria's dresses had hung. He searched the dresser where she had kept her underwear, and wasn't surprised to find them gone. Now he knew why the room had seemed so empty; it wasn't missing just Victoria herself, but every sign of her occupancy. She had moved out of their bedroom.
Will Garnet had run fast, but he hadn't run far. He didn't go to Santa Fe; it was too likely he'd eventually run into one of the Sarratts, damn their black souls to hell. He'd gone to Albuquerque with the handful of men who had run with him, and hunkered down there to think things over.
All in all, he didn't much like his position. He could keep on drifting, change his name, and that didn't matter much to him if he thought the Sarratts would let the matter drop. Hell, they had their damned ranch back, didn't they? But he'd met up with Floyd Hibbs in one of the saloons; Floyd had been out in one of the upper ranges when all the fighting had gone on, but he hadn't much liked the way things had changed and had packed up his gear and left. What really worried Garnet was that Floyd said Jake Roper and Jacob Sarratt were one and the same, and that his brother was one mean-lookin' son of a bitch, too.
So, both of the Sarratts had lived, and the older one had been right under his nose for months. He'd always known there was a reason why he didn't like the bastard. The Major was dead, and damned if Roper---Sarratt---hadn't married McLain's high-nosed widow. Garnet remembered Jake Sarratt's cold green eyes, and he didn't think there was a snowball's chance in hell that he and his brother wouldn't be coming after him.
He could run, but he didn't think they would give up until they got him. He had put lead in both of them, something they weren't likely to let pass.
It didn't set right with him, letting Sarratt hunt him like he was a rabbit. So the thing to do was something they wouldn't expect.
He still wanted that little gal, Celia, more now than before. He dreamed about her at night, dreamed how close he'd been to getting her. He'd about been ready to put a bullet in McLain himself when the Sarratts had rode in, and if he'd just done it a day sooner, nothing would have kept him from having her.
He still wanted that ranch, too. It should've been his. McLain hadn't done nothing but shoot the Sarratt woman after humping her; it had been he, Garnet, who had put a bullet in Duncan Sarratt's head, and who'd shot up the two boys. The little bastards should've died. Hell, McLain had been right all along when he'd been yapping about not finding the bodies, that the Sarratts were coming back. He'd been crazy, but he'd been right.
Garnet thoujght about it a lot. He didn't want to rush into nothing; he wanted everything planned out real careful. But he wanted that ranch, and more than anything he wanted the girl. If he could get together enough men, he just might consider turning the table on the Sarratts one last time.
The situation between them had stretched into two miserable weeks before Jake sought her out. "Don't you think this has gone on long enough?" he asked curtly.
She didn't look up from the button she was sewing on to one of his shirts. "What has?"
"This situation."
"Actually, no. I expect it to go on for some months."
He clenched his teeth. He'd set his mind to apologize several times, but she always froze him out. Whenever he came near her, that patrician little nose would go in the air and she would leave the room. If she had to speak to him, she did it in tones so frosty that no one was left in doubt that the boss wasn't on good terms with his missus. And it went without saying that she never looked at him anymore.
His temper was frayed from the strain. He'd been infuriated when she had moved out of their bedroom, but at the time he'd decided it was better if they slept apart. His own rage had still been too close to the surface. But he was in control now and decided they should make the best of the situation. It would be easier on everyone in the house if they declared a truce.
"I want you to move back into our bedroom."
"Thank you, no."
With that cool dismissal she put the shirt in her sewing basket and got to her feet. Knowing that she was about to leave him talking to an empty room, Jake grabbed her arms.
"You're staying right here until I'm finished," he snapped.
She didn't bother to struggle. "You're hurting my arms."
He eased the pressure, but didn't release her. This close he could see the velvety texture of her skin, reminding him of the swelling and bruising that had so recently faded from her face. Every time he'd looked at her, the knowledge that he'd struck her that hard had burned like acid in his soul. "I won't ever hit you again, Victoria," he said in a low voice. "I give you my word."
She didn't respond; she was like stone, staring straight ahead. Her faint sweet scent teased him. He fought the urge to lean down and press his face to her neck in pursuit of that elusive fragrance. He began to grow hard but wasn't surprised. Hell, not even knowing that she was carrying McLain's brat could stop him from burning for her. He didn't know how far along she was, but her waist was still slender and she still walked with that provocative grace that drew him like a lodestone. That walk might turn into a pregnant waddle soon, but for now it made his heart pound.
He wanted her back in his bed, while there was still time. After the baby became obvious, it would drive him crazy to lie beside her and know it wasn't his, to be reminded every time he looked at her that she had belonged to McLain. Damn the bastard, even from the grave he had reached out to destroy his life.
"Did you hear me?" he asked.
Victoria looked straight ahead. "Yes, I heard you. Believing you is something entirely different."
His hands clenched again. "I give you my word."
"I put as much faith in your word as you do in mine."
Jake released her, dropping his hands as if she had burned him. He was fed up with the situation. It was time for it to end. "Move back into our bedroom. Tonight."
"No."
"I'll do it for you if I have to."
"Are you going to kick down my door?" she asked without interest. "Drag me screaming into your room? Because you'll have to do that, Jake. I won't walk back into that room as if nothing has happened."
"I'm not asking you to pretend nothing happened. I'd give a year of my life if I hadn't hit you, and ten years if you weren't carrying that little bastard---"
She slapped him, the sound sharp in the room. It happened before she realized she was going to do it. She had never felt such blind rage before and she had put all of her strength into the blow. Part of her was aghast that she had done such a thing, but another more primitive part was dismayed that she had done so little damage. The blow whipped his head around, but he remained solidly on his feet.
She was looking him in the eye now, as he'd wanted, but he didn't see any love and forgiveness in her face. She was white and trembling with anger, her eyes like blue fire. She went up on tiptoe to thrust her face close to his.
"Don't you ever call my baby a bastard again." The words were even and said through clenched teeth. She looked ready to kill him, or die trying.
Desire hit him in the gut. He'd seen Victoria bravely facing down Garnet, gentle with Celia, wild and passionate as he made love to her, an icy queen disdaining even to look at him, but this was new, this was a tigress ready to claw him to pieces. His erection pushed painfully against his pants as lust fogged his brain. He was reaching for her, everything forgotten but the burning urge to mate, when she suddenly turned even whiter and stepped back.
She clapped her hand over her mouth and swallowed convulsively. Astonishment wiped the rage from her face. She swallowed once more, then turned and ran.
She prayed she would make it to the privacy of her bedroom and not disgrace herself by vomiting on the stairs. Cold sweat broke out on her, and she staggered a bit on the steps. She should have gone outside; even if someone saw her it would have been better than the mess she was about to make...
She made it to her bedroom, and the basin. Her insides felt as if they were coming up. She heard someone shouting, but she was heaving so convulsively that her ears were roaring. It had hit her with the force of a train, following immediately on the heels of that incredible, blinding anger, and she hadn't been prepared for either.
There was a strong arm around her waist and a hand on her forehead; without them she would have fallen. She was dimly aware of others rushing into the bedroom, of sympathetic murmurs. She sagged and was caught up in Jake's powerful arms. She knew it was him, knew it was he who had held her upright over the basin, but right now she didn't care.
"Put her on the bed, Señor Jake," Carmita instructed.
He did as Carmita put a cloth into Emma's hand. Victoria became aware of someone washing her face with a wonderfully cold, wet cloth. She saw it was Emma and was so relieved she murmured, "I've never been so sick before."
Emma murmured words of comfort as Carmita moved toward the door. "Keep washing her face, señorita, while I get her something to eat."
Jake stared at the housekeeper as if she had lost her mind. "She doesn't need anything to eat," he told her. "She's sick."
Carmita patted his arm. "She is sick with the baby," she explained as she left to go to the kitchen. "It will settle her stomach to have something in it. Trust me, I know."
Sick with the baby. He stared at his wife, lying limp and pale in the bed she didn't want to share with him. He knew women were nauseated when they were pregnant, but from the information he'd heard tossed around in saloons it came real early in the pregnancy. Victoria should have felt it well before now, but she had sounded frightened by what had just happened to her. And if she'd been vomiting for the past month or so, he hadn't known.
He went to the bed where Emma was slowly wiping Victoria's face with the cloth. Victoria's breathing was slower now, but she was still deathly pale and her eyes were closed. "Shouldn't she be getting over this by now?" he asked, his tone rougher than he'd intended.
Emma didn't look up. "It's just beginning."
He stepped back. Either Emma was lying or Victoria had duped her, too. Once he would never have believed Victoria capable of such deception, but then he would never have believed her capable of the killing rage he'd seen in her eyes just a short while ago, either. He couldn't understand why she was so fiercely protective of the baby she carried, since she had hated its father; he felt as betrayed by that as he did by the fact that she had tried to give it his name. But a mother of any species was ten times more dangerous when protecting her young than a hungry male ever was. He had underestimated the strength of that instinct in Victoria. When he looked at it like that he could almost forgive her.
Carmita rushed back into the room with a plain tortilla and a cup of water. She sat on the bed and tore off a small portion of the tortilla which she pushed between Victoria's lips, despite her weak protest.
"You must eat it, señora. It will settle your stomach, you'll see."
Victoria didn't much care; she was beyond caring. But she chewed the flat-tasting tortilla and swallowed. To her vague surprise her stomach didn't revolt. Carmita fed her half of the tortilla, then gave her a small sip of water. "That's enough for now, señora. Rest and soon you'll feel much better."
Victoria willingly closed her eyes. She heard rustles of clothing and retreating footsteps, then the door closed and she inhaled once, deeply, and slept.
It was a short nap, but when she woke half an hour later she felt so well that it was hard to believe she'd been so violently ill less than an hour before. She lay still for a moment just to be sure, but her stomach was blissfully steady. She opened her eyes, sat up, and found Jake watching her.
She was shocked to realize he'd been sitting there the whole time. She saw a faint red mark on his tanned cheek. It was the only remaining evidence of her slap, and it astonished her anew. She'd never before in her life struck another human being.
"Why are you here?" she asked, sliding off the bed. With Jake anywhere close by, lying on a bed was risky.
"I wanted to make certain you're all right."
"I feel fine." She walked to the mirror and began repairing the damage done to her hair.
He came up behind her, dwarfing her reflection. "Come back to our room, Victoria."
She could feel the force of his will like an iron hand pressing down on her. He fully expected her to obey him; after all, his will had prevailed in everything from the very first. He had the power to enforce his orders and was willing to do whatever was necessary. She had been trained to believe it was a wife's duty to obey her husband; if the issue had been anything less important, she knew she would have given in without a struggle. But she couldn't give in on this. She gave her head a slow shake. "No."
He put his hands on her waist and drew her back against him. His head dipped and he pressed his mouth to her hair. "You need someone to look after you if you get sick during the night."
The heat from his body made her weak. What he offered weakened her, all the more so because it would have been so right for her baby's father to lie beside her during the nights and hold her while she was ill. But she couldn't go back into his arms knowing he hated the life growing in her, knowing that he wanted her back only for the sexual pleasure she could give him. It would be impossible for him to deny that charge, she thought, since she could feel his hard length against her buttocks.
It would have been so easy to let herself relax, to lie back against him and let his strength support her. Because it was so easy, she didn't dare let herself do it for a minute. She straightened and returned her attention to the task of pinning up her hair. "If I need anyone, I'll call Emma."
"Why disturb Emma when you could be in bed with me?"
"Why be in bed with you when I could disturb Emma?"
Anger darkened his face and drew his brows down. "I've tried to reason with you, but now I'm telling you. Put your things back in our bedroom and your ass back in our bed tonight, or I'll do it even if I have to carry you over my shoulder for the entire household to see."
"Maybe if you're violent enough you'll be able to make me lose the baby."
Her hissed words stunned him. For the first time he realized that if he did move her back into their bedroom he really would have to use force to do it. Until now he'd imagined that their estrangement had continued due to his own grievances, that when his anger calmed enough for him to tell her to return, she would do it. He'd expected her to balk, expected recriminations, expected to have to give her his sincere apology for having struck her and his equally sincere promise that it would never happen again, but he'd also fully expected to have her back in his bed that very night.
But now he saw that while he might be ready to end their estrangement, she wasn't. She wasn't about to forgive him. She was angry at him, and he had his stinging cheek to prove it. If his cheek was still burning, how had her face felt after his blow? Her slap had snapped his head around, but his had knocked her off her feet. A woman was helpless against a man, and he knew it. He'd never felt anything but contempt for a man who raised his hand to a woman, and now his contempt was turned on himself.
"No," he said in a tight, strained voice. "I won't do anything to hurt you or the baby."
"Then you'll leave us alone."
"Jesus." He was suddenly tired, as if he'd put in a long day branding calves. Victoria was as unbending as steel, and he didn't know what else he could say. He'd sworn he wouldn't hurt her, but it hadn't made any difference. Maybe he hadn't given her enough time, maybe her pregnancy was making her irrational. He didn't know what it was, but he was wary of pushing her too far.
"All right, I'll leave you alone. When you decide you're ready to sleep with me again, all you have to do is open the door and crawl into bed. But don't wait too long. I might find some other woman who's willing to do what you won't."
She waited until he got to the door, then said, "Like the Major?"
He froze for a moment, his back stiffening, then left the room without a word.
Victoria dragged through the days. The symptoms of early pregnancy were upon her with a vengeance. Some mornings she was so sick that nothing seemed to settle her stomach. Even on the days when she thought the nausea would be mild, it took only a stray odor to send her stumbling for a basin or chamberpot. Her bladder seemed to be permanently and uncomfortably full; her sleep was so disturbed by her frequent trips to the chamberpot that she was dull and sleepy during the day. Most of all, her emotions were rioting. She cried easily, and lecturing herself had no effect on the endless tears.
The household was divided into those who knew and those who didn't. Carmita, Lola, Juana, and Celia knew only that Victoria was pregnant and were full of cheerful planning and advice on childbirth, child-rearing, and names. They knew Jake and Victoria had quarreled, but didn't begin to suspect the extent of it.
Emma and Ben were the only other people who knew the circumstances behind Victoria's move to a separate bedroom. Ben was scrupulously polite to her, but there was a chill in his eyes. Emma didn't rebuke Jake by either word or deed, but she was cold to Ben because she felt he didn't have any right to pass judgment on Victoria.
The only censure Jake felt was from Victoria, and he endured it. What else could he do? She was too sick for him to press the issue, and as the days became weeks his biting anger changed to concern. Rather than gaining weight, she had lost several pounds. Her waist was reed-slender and her dresses were becoming loose. Her complexion was alternately pale, gray, and greenish, and there were permanent dark circles under her eyes.
She should be showing her pregnancy by now, if everything were normal. He lay awake at night, tormented by the worry that something had gone wrong. Why wasn't the sickness going away as he'd heard it should well before now? He wasn't concerned for the baby, but about the possibility that he might lose Victoria, too. He began remaining close to the house as much as he could, so he would be on hand if she became seriously ill. God, if she would only stop vomiting so much. Almost nothing stayed down.
But being so ill hadn't changed her hostility toward him. It was in her eyes every time she looked at him, in the way she carefully kept out of his reach and answered him only in a one-syllable monotone, if possible.
She hadn't forgiven him. He was the one wronged, but she hadn't forgiven him. For the first time he began to wonder if she really would leave after the baby was born, and how he would handle it if she chose McLain's child over him. The only alternative, though, was to let her raise the child here on his ranch, and that he couldn't do.
"Victoria and Jake aren't happy," Celia told Luis, lying in his arms beneath a tree. They were in the middle of a copse, hidden from view by anyone who might happen by. They had become adept at finding places to make love, and Celia mildly enjoyed the intrigue. These past weeks had been the happiest of her life, as if all the pieces had finally come together and she was what she had been meant to be. Making love with Luis was so natural and perfect that she didn't give a thought to the rules and restrictions Victoria had taught her. Celia was by nature a complete sensualist, and she had taken to lovemaking with guilt-free enthusiasm.
"No one is happy all the time," he said lazily. They were lying naked on a blanket, and he was sated from their loving.
"But they aren't happy at all now. Victoria looks so ill; I'm worried about her. And she won't speak to Jake at all unless he speaks to her first."
"They've just had a quarrel, that's all. They'll make up."
"It's been weeks now, and they haven't made up."
Luis acknowledged that Jake had certainly been in a bad mood for a long time now. He hadn't wondered at the reason, having more or less assumed it had something to do with Victoria being pregnant. Pregnant women could be hell to live with, he knew. And with Victoria being so ill Jake obviously hadn't been finding any pleasure in bed, which in Luis's opinion was enough to make any man bad-tempered.
Celia propped up on an elbow, her golden hair spilling to the side and covering his shoulder. Her dark blue eyes were sad. "I don't think Jake wants the baby."
"Why do you say that, chica? Most men are proud when their wives become pregnant."
"He doesn't like to talk about the baby. He doesn't seem excited about it at all, and a lot of times he'll get up and walk out of the room if we start talking about it."
It sounded to Luis as if there was very serious trouble with the boss's marriage, but there was nothing he could do about it. The delicate beauty of Celia's breasts drew him, and he circled one nipple with his forefinger, fascinated by the contrast between his brown skin and the milky fairness of hers. She stopped talking and drew in a breath, as he had known she would, her eyes getting darker and her lashes lowering.
"Perhaps they aren't happy, but I am," he said in the slower, deeper tones of arousal.
She smiled, the calm, confident smile of a woman that was new to her. She stroked her hand down his sleek, powerful body and closed it around his erection. "Yes, you look happy," she said as she bent to kiss him, but the real happiness was in herself.
He was so beautiful he took her breath away. She lived every day for the time when they would slip away and she would be in his arms again. Loving him was so wonderful she couldn't associate what they did together with what the Major and Garnet had wanted to do with her. Celia didn't dream of Luis in terms of marriage and babies, ideas that were alien to her because she had always lived only for the moment. She dreamed of him as he was now, naked and reaching for her, his dark eyes hot with passion.
Victoria was having a good day, finally, so Emma took advantage of it and slipped out to the stables. She quickly saddled her horse and rode out, desperate to get out of the house for just a little while. If all women got as sick as Victoria had with this baby, she didn't understand how a woman could bear to have more than one. If it went on much longer, Victoria would be dangerously weak.
The gelding had been feeling pent-up, too; she gave him his head and he stretched out in a full gallop. The rush of air cleared the cobwebs from her mind. She lost some of her hairpins and her hair came tumbling down, but she didn't care. For just an hour she was free.
Over the thunder of her own horse's hooves, she didn't hear the other horse coming up behind her until a bobbing head stretched out past her knee and a gloved hand reached in front to take her reins. Startled, she swung her riding crop before she saw who it was, and Ben flung up his arm to keep the whip from landing across his face.
"What the hell are you doing?" he yelled, pulling both horses to a stop.
Emma was stricken at what she had nearly done. "I'm sorry," she said, her cheeks losing their color. "I didn't know who it was. Why did you grab my reins?"
"I thought the horse was out of control."
She shook her head. "No, I was just letting him run. He's been as cooped up as I have." She gave him a quick glance. "It seems we both were mistaken, weren't we?"
Ben ignored that. "I told you not to ride alone."
She sat in the saddle and looked at him with an expression that calmly denied him the right to tell her what to do. She was too tired to fight, but she simply wasn't going to sit in the house like a child if she wanted to ride.
He sighed and kneed his horse away from hers. "If you want to ride, then let's ride."
She did, joyfully. She was surprised to see it was late summer; the grasses were getting brittle and had a hint of yellow to them. They had arrived in the spring, but she didn't really remember much about it; the strain of surviving those weeks with the Major had taken all of her attention. It had been June, hot and dusty, when they had tried to escape. Now it was late in August, with only a few short weeks left before the first frost. She had missed the summer. It was disorienting.
She let the gelding run until he slowed of his own accord, blowing and tossing his head with joy. She patted his steaming neck as Ben reined in to keep pace with her.
She looked around at the broad meadow, with the craggy peaks bordering it to the north, and the tall grasses waving in the slight breeze. You could see for miles and she was amazed at the beauty of the land.
The horses slowed, then halted completely, lowering their heads to crop at the grass.
Ben removed his hat and wiped his sweaty forehead on his sleeve. His dark hair was damp, too, and his face was dusty. His hazel eyes were clear and penetrating. He said quietly, "Emma girl, are you ever going to come to me?"
A pang went through her. If he had tried to seduce her she thought she could have resisted him more easily, but it was incredibly hard to deny this simple invitation. "I want to," she said, the truth somehow easy to accept and admit out here in this high, empty meadow. "But how can I?"
"Easily. All you have to do is open my door. Or hold out your hand to me right now. That's all. I'll do the rest."
He saw the flicker of fear on her face and was puzzled. "I won't hurt you," he said in husky promise. "I won't lie and say the first time won't be hard for you, but I'll take care of you. I'll make certain you enjoy it, too. You don't need to be afraid of me."
"I'm not afraid, not of you," she quickly denied. Her brown eyes were as velvety as a doe's.
"Then what are you afraid of?"
She looked away from him, her eyes going to the mountains and the blue sky beyond. "All of it, I think. The act itself. It isn't the same for a woman as it is for a man. From what I can tell, for a man it's a few minutes of pleasure, forgotten as soon as he gets up, without meaning to him until the next time he wants to do it. For a woman..."
"For a woman it's a huge step. It's trusting a man not to hurt her. It's taking a chance of pregnancy, which will ruin her life and the life of her child if she isn't married, and could kill her even if she is married. It isn't just taking a man into her body, it's taking him into her life, because the same act that means nothing to him can affect her for the rest of her days."
"It doesn't matter that much to whores."
"Is that what you want me to be? A whore? They do it for money, with any man who has the money. It's sad. They're sad."
He said harshly, "I don't want you to be a whore." He didn't want emptiness in Emma's eyes when he made love to her, he wanted to see wonder, and blind pleasure, and trust. He wanted her to see only him. "I wouldn't abandon you if I made you pregnant. I'm here to stay. Look at Jake; he didn't abandon Victoria, and it's not even his baby."
Emma rounded on him so fiercely he drew back, wary that she might use her riding crop on him after all. "Jake's a fool," she snapped. "Of course it's his baby."
He didn't take kindly to having Jake called names, and his eyes narrowed. "She told him just a mite too soon, don't you think?"
"She knew right away." Emma wasn't about to get into a discussion of how Victoria had known so quickly, but she wasn't finished. "It couldn't be the Major's child, because he didn't... do that to her."
"Yeah," Ben said cynically. "She tried to convince Jake of that. But why would any man not make love to his wife? Victoria's a good-looking woman."
She was flushed with anger. "He tried, but couldn't."
"Why couldn't he? It's common knowledge that he could with Angelina."
"I don't know why he couldn't with Victoria. He tried the first two nights they were married, but couldn't do it. He left her alone after that."
"How do you know? Were you in their bedroom watching?"
"She told me the next morning," Emma answered. "I know most women don't talk about things like that, but Victoria and I are very close. We've been together all of our lives. She was so frightened on their wedding night because she didn't know what was going to happen. She married him only because we were all starving and he said he'd give money to her parents if she'd marry him."
Emma's words were strong and certain. Ben frowned, thinking. What if Jake was wrong?
"You interested?" Garnet asked the man sitting across from him. The surface of the saloon table between them was pocked and gouged, and it carried myriad sticky rings where overflowing glasses had been set. The other man's face was almost as pocked and gouged as the table.
Bullfrog Espy took a long, slow drink of beer before adding another wet ring to the table. His eyes were the color of dingy water, and there was a cold, lifeless quality to them. "How many men you reckon it'll take?" he finally asked in a light, high-pitched voice that could have been a woman's. His voice had earned him his nick-name "Bullfrog" because nobody in their right mind would call a man his size and temperament "Squeaky."
"Fifty, or thereabouts."
"That's a lot of men. Ain't fifty men I know that I'd trust."
Garnet shrugged. He didn't trust anyone. "It don't matter if we can trust 'em, just as long as they're willing to use a gun."
"And you ain't interested in the ranch?"
"You can have the damn ranch. It's the girl I want."
"Mebbe I'll want her too. It's been a while since I had a white girl."
"She's not the only white woman. Her sister and cousin are there, too. They're young, good-looking women. But I want this one."
Bullfrog didn't fidget aimlessly the way most men did, and his stillness got on Garnet's nerves. But he was fast with a gun and didn't mind killing. Some folks even said he enjoyed it. "Jake Roper, huh? He's a fast son of a bitch. I seen him in El Paso one year."
Garnet smiled, a slow movement of his mouth that didn't ease the cold ruthlessness of his eyes. "Don't matter how fast a man is if you're behind him."
Bullfrog lifted the glass again. "That's true," he said.
The sunlight streaked across the tiles in the foyer, nothing like the night when the shadowed nightmare had taken place. But when the heavy front door opened and the shadow of someone's head and torso spilled across the tiles, something flashed in Jake's head. It was exactly as it had been the night he'd looked down and seen his father's body sprawled on the floor.
Blood drummed in his temples. He stood frozen just outside the library door, his face twisting as the hot tide of hate consumed him. There, to the left of the stairs, was where his mother had lain with her face bruised and distorted by McLain's fist, where he had raped her while her husband's body lay only a few feet away. Her blood and brains had pooled on those tiles.
God damn McLain's soul to roast in hell! If he even had a soul.
He and Ben had watched him die, but they hadn't won. McLain still lived within these walls, within the home he'd fouled with his presence. His flesh and blood still lived in Victoria's body. The sight of her now, as she cast the shadow that had awakened Jake's memories, enraged him all the more.
She had been feeling well enough lately to get out of the house; the vomiting was gradually easing. Autumn was coming, and coming soon. It was September, and the aspens were golden.
She closed the door and stood still for a moment to let her eyes adjust to the light in the house. There was no movement to attract her attention, no sound, but suddenly the hair on the back of her neck raised up as a sense of menace chilled her. She jerked her head around and saw Jake.
His face was a twisted mask of hate, his eyes like green coals.
In that split second of recognition, she was terrified. He looked as if he wanted to tear her apart with his bare hands. Without thought, obeying some wild instinct, she ran.
Jake started, pulling his mind from the past as she bolted up the stairs. He started moving toward the steps, his warning call sharp. "Victoria! Watch the steps!"
By some miracle she didn't stumble. When the wave of dizziness hit her, she managed to grasp the banister with both hands and hold herself upright. Her vision wavered, then began to fade. She could hear him coming up the stairs at a run, his boots thudding, and she tried to haul herself up another step, but her legs were too heavy and wouldn't obey. With a dull sense of alarm and astonishment, she felt her body begin to sag and could do nothing to stop it.
Then steely arms were around her, arms that she remembered sometimes in her dreams that left tears on her face when she awoke. As the darkness became absolute, she wondered why he had caught her.
Jake swung her limp body up in his arms, sweat breaking out on his face at how close she had come to falling. She was in a dead faint, her head lolling back over his arm. He opened his mouth to yell for Emma or Carmita, but shut it as quickly as the impulse came. Victoria was his wife; he'd take care of her. He'd seen enough unconscious men to know how to handle a simple faint.
She didn't feel any heavier now than she had three months before. Just the feel of her in his arms struck him with a sharp, nostalgic pleasure, piercing and bittersweet. It shouldn't have been so long since he had held her; the chasm between them shouldn't have been so wide and deep and unbridgeable.
He started to carry her into their---his---bedroom, but changed his mind and went into hers; she would be less alarmed when she woke up if she wasn't in his bed. She showed no signs of reviving even when he placed her on the bed, and with growing concern he unfastened her skirt, then the light blue shirtwaist that was buttoned high under her chin.
He could feel the warmth of her soft skin, and the parting edges of the blouse revealed the pulse beating gently at the base of her throat. His own pulse began to throb.
"Victoria, wake up," he murmured, stroking the hair back from her face. She still didn't stir. He lifted her skirt enough to remove her shoes, then took the pillow from beneath her head and slid it under her feet, slim and delicate in her white cotton stockings. His pulse beat faster.
She was his; her body was his. He put his hand on her stomach, searching for evidence of the life that had torn their marriage apart. Her belly was smooth and as flat as ever.
His brows snapped together. How far along did a woman have to be before her pregnancy began showing? The way he figured it, she should be more than four months along, certainly enough to be showing. But then, some women didn't get as big as others; he'd seen some who looked huge and some who didn't look very big the day they delivered. Maybe her clothing was disguising her shape.
He tossed her skirt up, his hand delving beneath the froth of petticoats, finding her cotton-covered thighs and sliding upward to her belly. She was warm and flat.
Her eyelids fluttered and struggled open. "Jake?" she murmured.
He leaned over her. "You fainted, but you're all right," he said in a low voice.
"I thought you were going to kill me." The words were a little slurred as she struggled to push the last remnants of unconsciousness away. She blinked her eyes and focused on his face. She saw no sign now of the intense hatred that had sent her running for her life, and in confusion she wondered if she'd been imagining things.
"No. Not ever." Jake's heart began beating heavily as he watched her. Her lips were soft and trembling slightly. Her wall of hostility was down; she was weak and disoriented. Before she could resurrect her anger he bent and covered her mouth with his, a muffled sound of pleasure coming from deep in his throat.
He used the pressure of his mouth to open her lips and slipped his tongue into her. A dizzying surge of delight went through him as he felt her arms lift and slide around his neck. He gathered her to him, deepening the kiss.
She had wanted him for so long, craved him for so long, that her whirling senses fastened on what he was doing. The taste of his mouth kept her from dying of thirst, his hands fed her in other ways. She moaned at the feel of his rough palm on her sensitive breasts, sliding inside both blouse and chemise and cupping the naked globes, then lifting them free of their cloth restraints. He left her mouth, his lips sliding down her throat and chest to close over one extended nipple.
The feeling was so electrifying that she almost shot off the bed. Her breasts were so tender that she could barely tolerate the pressure of her clothing, and his hot mouth fastening on her nipple was a maddening mixture of pain and pleasure.
She couldn't bear it. Tears sprang to her eyes and she pushed against his shoulders. "You're hurting me," she choked.
He lifted his head, his green eyes dark with passion. "Hurting you?" he repeated hoarsely.
"Yes... my breasts are sore. The baby---"
He drew back. The evidence of the child growing within her was here, in the larger swell of her breasts, the darkening of the nipples, the increased delicate blue veining running just under the creamy satin skin.
She scrambled off the bed on the other side and stood with her back to him as she restored chemise, shirtwaist, and skirt to their proper positions. "Thank you for catching me," she said in a tight voice.
He remembered what she'd said when she had first regained consciousness; she had thought he was going to kill her, and she had run from him in terror. God, what had they done to each other?
"I didn't mean to scare you." His own voice was gruff. "Be careful from now on going up or down the stairs."
"Yes. I will."
She was too slender. He watched her for several days, trying to handle his uneasiness. He counted the days just as she had told him to do, and tried to figure how far along she would have to have been before she knew she was pregnant. A month? Two months? He just didn't know, but he thought surely she would have been showing by now. On the other hand, if he had gotten her pregnant immediately, she would only be in her third month. And that would explain why she still wasn't showing.
The thought of it made him sweat as he remembered the things he'd said and done. Doubt, once admitted, gnawed at him.
He sought out Carmita and found her alone. Carefully he watched her reaction as he said, "I'm worried about the señora, Carmita. She's so thin. Shouldn't she be bigger by now? Is something wrong with the baby?"
Carmita beamed at him, shaking her head and making clucking noises. "You new fathers, you worry about everything! The señora has lost weight, she has been so sick, but the morning sickness is beginning now to go away."
"But her stomach---it's flat."
"It's just her third month, Señor Jake. It will probably be at least another month before the baby is big enough to begin showing."
Her third month. The pit of his stomach was cold. Jake counted the days again, but the numbers hadn't changed. If she were just three months along, that would mean that he---damn it, it just wasn't likely! That meant she would have known right away. She had been hiding something from him from the beginning; what else could it have been if not her pregnancy? And that absurd story about McLain not being able to have sex was a plain lie.
He sweated over it for a while, then decided to put his mind to rest about one part of it, at least. It was likely he wouldn't know the truth until the baby was born. But he went to Angelina Garcia's room behind the bunkhouse.
He realized that he hadn't seen her in a while, and he wondered if she had left. He would have run her off himself a long time ago, but Victoria hadn't mentioned it and Jake felt vaguely sorry for the woman, so he hadn't pursued it. How would she leave? Walk? So far as he knew, she owned nothing except her clothes.
But when he knocked he heard scrabbling behind the door and eventually it opened to reveal Angelina, her hair hanging uncombed down her back, her eyes puffy with sleep. He ran his eyes down her opulent figure, and almost stumbled backward in shock. Angelina was visibly, undeniably pregnant.
The pregnancy hadn't changed her natural bent. "Well, if it isn't the patron," she purred. "I knew you'd come to see me sooner or later."
He looked quizzically at her. In a mild tone he asked, "Why would you think that?"
She threw back her head and laughed. "Because of what I can do for you, why else?"
"Whose baby is it?"
She shrugged. "How would I know? Soon I will be too big for anyone to be interested, but right now there are several who like it. Men." She shrugged again, as if to say she would never understand their tastes.
"McLain used to visit you a lot, didn't he?"
A tiny, self-satisfied smile curved her lips. "He couldn't stay away from me. He came to me the night after his marriage. He thought he was a great lover, but he had nothing, I barely knew he was inside me."
"Then he never had any trouble having sex with you?" Jake's voice was expressionless.
Angelina laughed in his face. "No man has trouble with me, not even the Major. He couldn't get it hard with the seüora because she was so cold---" Abruptly she remembered that the señora was now Jake's wife and she halted, her face turning sullen.
Jake felt as if someone had punched him. He had difficulty sucking in enough air to talk. "How do you know he couldn't?"
"He told me," she muttered. "I didn't tell anyone else because I knew he would have me thrown off the ranch, if he didn't kill me." She refused to say anything else. But she'd told Jake enough.
His face pale, Jake walked back to the house. Victoria had been telling the truth. It was his baby she carried, not McLain's. God, the things he'd said! He remembered the cold fire in her eyes, and for the first time understood the real violence behind it.
She had said that she would take the baby and leave; he'd been so angry at the time that he hadn't taken the threat seriously. Now that he knew the truth he realized just how furious she had a right to be, and a cold fear grew in him that she really might do it. He would lose both Victoria and his baby.
His baby! She really had been that innocent about sex. He was the only man who had ever made love to her. And she was so angry even after all these weeks she hadn't thawed a bit, hadn't even begun to forgive him. Hell, why should she? Up until now he had still been insisting that the baby wasn't his!
He had to apologize, make it up to her somehow---but when he remembered the coldness of her face whenever she looked at him, he felt his stomach muscles tighten. He never would have thought that sweet Victoria could stay that angry for so long, but she had. Well hell, why not? He'd insulted her, slapped her, threatened her, and she was as proud as she was sweet. It wasn't just aristocratic breeding that kept her spine so straight; it was pure steel.
There was no point in putting it off. The quicker he apologized and got things straight between them, the better off they all would be. He looked for Victoria all over the house, and finally found her in the courtyard where the walls protected her from any autumn breeze that might chill her. She was taking advantage of the bright sun to stitch a tiny gown. The sight of that delicate garment in her hands made his throat tighten.
When she looked up at him, her eyes were carefully blank. "Yes?"
He squatted down in front of her, trying to think of the words he needed. He was painfully aware that these next few minutes might be the most important of his life. Finally it just seemed best to say it right out.
"Victoria---I was wrong. I'm sorry. I should have believed you. I know the baby's mine."
"Really?" she replied coolly after a moment of silence when his heart almost didn't beat. She bit off a thread. "How do you know that now, when you were equally certain a couple of months ago that it wasn't?"
Damn, she wasn't going to give an inch, and he couldn't blame her. She deserved her revenge. He looked at her delicate white skin, flushed with the sun's warmth and returning good health. Her breasts strained at her bodice, and he was suddenly consumed by a deep need to see just exactly how much this child of his had changed her body.
"I know I acted like a bastard---"
"Yes," she agreed, then returned to the question she'd asked. "What made you change your mind about the baby?"
"You haven't grown any---"
"The Major died only two days before you took me."
He got to his feet, furious that after all this she would throw McLain in his face when she knew damned good and well that bastard hadn't touched her, and now he knew it, too. Women were the most contrary creatures on earth; after the way she'd cried and begged him to believe her, now she was trying to convince him that the baby wasn't his after all! His hands knotted into fists. "Damn it, I know McLain didn't sleep with you!" he said. "Angelina told me that he couldn't---"
Victoria's head snapped up, and too late he saw the error that anger had led him to make. Her voice was frosty when she spoke. "Am I supposed to be happy that you'll take the word of a whore before you'll take mine? That you've been discussing me with that whore? You can take your apology and go to hell with it, Jake Sarratt!"
She surged to her feet, stuffing her sewing into the basket. Red spots of color decorated her cheeks.
"Calm down," he said, moving to catch her elbow in case she got dizzy. "You might faint if you move too fast."
"Whether or not I faint is my business, Mr. Sarratt. I'm none of your concern and my baby is none of your concern."
His eyes narrowed. Victoria had always pushed him further than anyone else dared, like a child who played with a tiger and never quite realized the danger it was in until it was too late. He watched her sail into the house, her haughty nose high, and the bright sun dimmed as he realized the truth in a paralyzing instant.
He loved her. He hadn't at first, but there had always been that strong sexual attraction drawing him to her. If he hadn't loved her, thinking she was pregnant with McLain's child wouldn't have hit him so hard. Had it been any other woman, he would have shrugged, sent her to Santa Fe, and he would have gone on with his life. Had it been any other woman, he wouldn't have been married to her to begin with.
But Victoria... he couldn't bear the thought of living without her. Now that he knew how much she meant to him, he panicked at the thought of losing her. He couldn't let it happen. He'd stop her from leaving even if he had to keep her prisoner in the house until he could make it up to her and she forgave him. He had already wasted three months with his stupidity. Three damn months!
But not one more day.
He strode quickly into the house after her, boot heels ringing on the tiles. His face was set in hard lines.
She had paused in the dining room to speak to Emma. Carmita was doing something at the table; he didn't pay any attention to what. He crossed the room, intent on Victoria. She looked up and saw him; a startled expression flitted across her face, followed swiftly by wariness, then naked fear. She dropped her sewing bag and took a step back. Emma's mouth opened with surprise, then she too got a good look at Jake's face and instinctively got out of his way.
He reached Victoria and bent, catching her behind the knees and back and swinging her off her feet. She gave a little cry of panic and struck at him, but he jerked his head to the side. Before she could try again, he shifted her in his arms and smothered her mouth with his. The kiss was deep and rough and hungry; he felt as if he could never get enough of her mouth, of the feel of her in his arms.
She pulled her head away, twisting it to the side so he couldn't kiss her again. She pushed at his chest. "Put me down!" She sounded frantic.
"I'll put you down," he said with hushed violence. "In my bed, where you belong and where you'll damn well stay." Leaving a gaping Emma and Cannita behind, he carried her up the stairs, taking them two at a time. She made no allowances for the possibility that he might drop her; she kicked and fought and arched her back, trying to squirm from his grip, but his strength was too overpowering. He simply crushed her tighter against his chest. He reached his bedroom and carried her inside, kicking the door shut behind him with a resounding thud.
She tried to bite him, fighting him as desperate pride had not allowed her to do the first time he had overpowered her in this room. "No you don't," he grunted, dumping her on the bed and throwing himself down beside her. He captured her hands in one of his and held them high over her head. "Calm down," he said sharply. "This can't be doing the baby any good."
Her hair was coming loose with her struggles, straggling across her shoulders. Her face was flushed and her blue eyes were almost throwing off sparks she was so angry. "What the hell do you care?"
"Such language," he mocked, wrestling her down when she almost succeeded in throwing herself off the side of the bed. When he had her secured, with her legs pinned by his and her arms once more anchored over her head, he used his free hand to search around her waist until he found the fastening of her skirt and opened it. The tapes of her petticoats didn't present much of a problem. He began shoving the garments down over her hips and thighs.
She made an explosive sound of rage and once again tried to sink her teeth into the muscled arm that stretched over her head, holding both of her arms captive. He laughed and jerked it out of reach of her teeth without even loosening his grip. His green eyes were very bright.
"Why don't you go to your precious whore?" she shouted.
"Because I'd rather be with you," he replied, not allowing her to make him angry. He buried his head in the soft curve between her neck and shoulder, inhaling her wonderfully sweet scent. It had haunted his nights, when he would wake up from erotic dreams and reach across the bed to gather her close, only to find it empty.
"I don't want to be with you," she said from between clenched teeth.
"You will," he promised, stroking his hand over her belly and breasts. "Remember the first time? You didn't want to be with me then, either, but you changed your mind. Haven't you missed me at all, sweetheart? Here? And here?" His wandering hand first touched her tender breasts, but lightly, so as not to cause her any discomfort, then down to her thighs. They were clamped together, but he still managed to slide one finger between them and find the open slit of her drawers. Inside was hot, damp flesh, and a shudder rocked him as he gently explored.
"No." The word was strangled. She turned her head to the side, away from him. "Please."
"You know I'll please you," he murmured, removing his finger to shove her skirt and petticoats completely off. Without their concealing bulk, her slender body was clearly outlined by the form-fitting shirtwaist blouse, shift, and the thin cotton drawers that clung to her thighs. She had very pretty legs, slim and well-formed. Her white stockings were held in place by plain white garters. He'd seen black lace garters and sheer silk stockings that hadn't excited him nearly as much.
Using the toe of his boot, he scraped her soft, flat-heeled slippers off of her feet and kicked them from the bed. "Don't want you getting the bedcovers dirty."
She didn't take kindly to the gentle teasing. "You've still got your boots on, you jackass!" She was seething, steam practically rising from her. He laughed low, inordinately amused at his very proper wife cursing at him.
"I'll take them off if you want me to," he offered.
"No!"
"Damn, you're a hard woman to please. Guess you're lucky that I'm a hard man."
She had no doubt what he meant, and if she had had one of her arms free she would have slapped him again. She was tiring rapidly, she hadn't recovered her strength from the long weeks of almost constant nausea. Devoutly, and without result, she prayed for one of the sickening bouts now.
She gathered her fading strength for one last desperate attempt at escape, tensing her muscles and surging wildly. He controlled her without effort, and Victoria was forced to the galling knowledge that there was nothing she could do. Hot, bitter tears slid down her cheeks, and she turned her head away as her body went limp.
"Don't cry, honey." Like the predator he was, he sensed her capitulation, and his voice was low and comforting. He released her arms, knowing she no longer had the strength to fight. "I'm sorry I didn't believe you, but it's over now. Let me make it up to you. It's been a long time since we've done this; haven't you missed it? Don't you remember how good I made you feel?"
She drew a deep, shuddering breath, fighting for control. "I remember everything you made me feel." Her voice was thick with tears.
He knew what she meant. He paused, his face tightening as the guilt over the pain he'd caused her almost overwhelmed him. Then he wiped the tears from her cheeks with his callused thumb. "Then hate me for it, but by God it won't make any difference. You're my wife, and your place is here with me."
She was tired, her muscles shaking. It was useless to fight him. She closed her eyes.
He rolled her to the side and unbuttoned her shirtwaist, then pulled it down her arms and tossed it aside. The shift went next, and she lay with her arms motionless, making no effort to cover her breasts.
The differences in them excited him. They were larger, firmer, readying themselves even now for the milk that would feed his baby. Her little nipples had darkened and seemed distended. He paused to remove his boots and shirt, his eyes never leaving her breasts. Without touching her anywhere else, he leaned over and lightly circled a pouting nipple with his tongue.
She gasped, her body arching. The touch of his hot tongue burned, and the heat gathered and pooled in her lower body. Her breasts became almost unbearably tight, just from that light touch. They were so sensitive that she almost burst into tears again, unable to decide if this was ecstasy or agony.
His breath washed over her wet flesh, making it tingle even more. He moved to the other nipple and subjected it to the same light, exquisitely gentle washing by his tongue. She trembled, fighting the blinding heat. Her hands gripped the sheet beneath her, twisting. No, no, she cried silently, he had to stop, she couldn't bear it---
With acute attention to her tender state, he sucked the nipple into his mouth and applied the lightest pressure.
A strangled sob tore from her throat, no longer in protest. Her hips lifted.
His hand went between her legs, and this time they parted easily. He rubbed lightly at her soft, exposed flesh, then slipped his finger into her. His memory of her tightness had tormented him, but he was amazed anew at how small her passage was. Sweat glistened on his naked torso.
"Do you remember, the time in the study?" he murmured, kissing her neck. "We were in too much of a hurry to take your drawers off, and I tore them so I could get at you better."
She moaned, her body twisting on his impaling finger. She opened her eyes but the lids were heavy, and her lashes fluttered. "Jake."
The sound of his name, uttered in that thick, helpless, wanting tone, made his heart leap. She was his. She was no longer fighting, no longer even thinking. Her hips lifted again.
He kissed her mouth, his tongue plunging deep. It was too late again to pull off her drawers. He tore the seam open, sliding down to explore the secrets revealed. Her woman's flesh was deep pink and glistening; he pressed his mouth to her in a deep, avid kiss, needing her taste, needing all of her secrets. She screamed, the sound muffled by the pillow she pulled over her face, and her cotton-clad thighs tightened convulsively around his head. He prised them open again, and held them wide. His tongue darted and dipped and circled, and continued as he felt the deep shudders begin. Her heels dug into the bed, both of her hands clenched in his hair, and she cried out again.
When it was over, her legs fell weakly open. She lay with her eyes closed and her breasts shining with a fine mist of perspiration, her chest heaving up and down as she fought for breath. He tore at the tapes holding the ruined garment about her waist, and stripped it away, then attacked his own belt and pants. Naked, he mounted her, and her eyes flared open at his slow, inexorable penetration.
She had almost forgotten the overpowering sensation of fullness. Her body had been preoccupied with its own gravidity, but he had brought lust surging back. He grunted as he squeezed inward, the sound changing to a groan as he stopped. "Is it hurting you?"
Her hands were hot. She gripped his sweat-slick shoulders and twined her legs around his buttocks. "No. Don't stop. Don't stop, Jake, please---"
He gave a strained laugh, a sound of satisfaction rather than mirth. "No, I won't stop. God."
He didn't drive into her; he was too acutely aware of her pregnancy. He rigidly controlled his thrusting to a certain depth and rhythm, but it was enough. She convulsed again, greedily lifting her hips and taking the inches he had denied her. His senses exploded, and with a tight sound of defeat he gave her what she wanted as his loins pulsed and emptied.
Her white-stockinged legs remained locked around him. Her defeat, on this level at least, was shatteringly complete.
His breathing had steadied, his heart was once again beating normally instead of trying to burst out of his chest. Victoria, lying limp and unmoving at his side, seemed to be dozing. The sweat had dried on their bodies, and as he watched, the first faint chill roughened the skin of her upper arm. He heaved himself up and grasped the sheet, pulling it over them and tucking it around her shoulder. Her blue eyes flickered open, then she sighed and let them close again.
She seemed content to lie there, so close beside him. But he realized she was essentially alone. Before, she had lain in his arms, her head pillowed on his shoulder and her delicate hand sleepily stroking his chest. There was none of that mute intimacy now, no gentle touching, no lying tangled together and inhaling the other's scent. He hadn't known before what had made those drowsy hours after lovemaking so special, but now he did. The difference now told him that he may have won the battle, but he'd far from won the war. He wanted her willing touch, not this silent distance that told him she had been defeated, but not won.
Winning her back would take time, but he knew how to be patient. He'd been patient for twenty years, planning his revenge on McLain. He was willing to spend another twenty years teaching Victoria that she could love and trust him, if she would only allow him that much time.
He turned onto his side and pulled her into his arms, cradling her there whether she wanted to be or not. Closeness worked its own magic, and the sort of physical ecstasy they had just shared forged a bond he knew she couldn't easily ignore. He would use what weapons he had, because he dared not lose her.
"Tell me about it," he invited softly, nuzzling the fine hair at her temple.
"About what?" she asked in a cool, even little voice. Her eyes were still closed.
"About McLain."
The last thing Victoria wanted to do was discuss McLain; she was exhausted and wanted only to sleep. Even if she had been wide awake, however, she wouldn't have wanted to discuss the subject with Jake. He had forced her to a capitulation that deeply scoured her pride. What with her other grievances against him, she wasn't feeling very obliging.
She bit her lip, wishing that he would just go away. It was obvious that he had no intention of moving, however, so she said, "No."
"I need to know," he murmured, kissing the fragile hollow right below her temple.
Her eyes opened. "You need to know!" Her voice trembled with suppressed emotion. Her pregnancy had brought all of her emotions alarmingly close to the surface. "Tell me why I should care what you need! I needed my husband's support, and trust, and care; did you care about my needs?"
"I'm sorry, love. I'll do anything I can to make it up to you." He was completely sincere, and perhaps it was in his low voice because she gave him a quick, sharp look.
"How can you make up for something like that?" she asked, and closed her eyes with a weariness that was both physical and mental. "I can't think how it would be possible."
"Let me try anyway. We're married; we're having a baby." He smoothed his big hand down over her warm belly, wishing that he hadn't already wasted three months. "What does it feel like?" Painful curiosity leaked into the words. "Can you tell anything yet?"
She gave a wry laugh. "Oh, yes, I've been able to tell a great deal. I've been deathly ill, so nauseated I could barely lift my head from the pillow. The smell of food is disgusting. I have an almost constant urge to... to wet," she said, stammering with embarrassment that she had said such a thing, but it had tumbled out without thought. "There is a sense of pressure, here." She laid her hand low on her belly. "I can scarcely bear for my clothes to touch my breasts, and I get dizzy if I try to move quickly. I cry several times a day, for no reason. I'm so tired I can scarcely get through the days, yet I can't sleep at night. I've really been enjoying myself."
He smothered a chuckle and planted another kiss, this one on her mouth instead of her temple. "When is it due?"
"Late in March." She found she couldn't deny him this knowledge about his child, now that he was asking.
His stroking hand smoothed over her belly, then down between her legs. She gasped, stiffening as his fingers leisurely parted and stroked. She would never have believed she could respond so soon after such explosive lovemaking, but her loins tightened.
"You feel wonderful, so warm and wet and tight. I want you so much I just couldn't understand how McLain didn't." His voice was muffled against her throat.
Victoria caught her breath, dazedly aware of the truth in his husky tone. He simply didn't understand it. She didn't know why McLain had been as he was, either, only how it had been.
"He tried," she whispered. "Twice. But he couldn't get hard, the way you do. It made him angry and he hurt me, but it still wouldn't work. After those first two times, he never tried again."
Jake closed his eyes, fighting the pain her words brought him. "How did he hurt you, love?"
She didn't notice the endearment. More and more of her attention was focusing on what he was doing. One long finger slipped into her and she moaned aloud. "He did... what you're doing now. But he hurt me, and there was blood. It was awful; I hated it, and I hated him. But when you do it... ah! Yes. Yes. It feels so good."
He leaned over her, increasing the brush of his thumb over her tiny nub. His heart squeezed as he thought how it must have been for her, a virgin ignorant of everything sexual, with a brute like McLain. Now he knew why she hadn't bled when he'd made love to her the first time. He didn't regret for himself the loss of that small membrane, only that she had been hurt and frightened.
He was the only man who had ever made love to her, the only man she had taken into her arms and her body. The knowledge flooded him with possessive pleasure. Whether she wanted it or not, she was irrevocably his. He would never let her leave him.
Jake had Carmita move Victoria's things back into his room. If he had thought Victoria would do so he was disappointed, but he knew well enough that their situation had improved to nothing more than a truce. She didn't again try to fight him physically, but her manner was reserved, her eyes still cool, and he knew he wasn't forgiven. It was enough, for now, that she was back where she belonged.
The next day Ben asked, "What happened?"
Jake tersely explained.
Ben shook his head. "Damn. I don't understand women. Whatever you expect, they'll do the exact damn opposite, even when you expect the opposite from what you first thought anyway."
Jake grinned in sympathy. Ben had gotten exactly nowhere with Emma. "Are you giving up?"
"Might as well. Yeah, I guess I am. Saloon girls are a lot simpler than ladies. I'm going to take a trip into Santa Fe before winter gets here, and have myself a good time."
Garnet had moved back toward Santa Fe, lying low and watching his back. Nothing was going to happen very soon, anyway. Winter was coming on fast, and spring would be a better time for what he planned. He had parted company with Bullfrog several weeks back; the other man was going to try to round up some of his old cronies in time to meet up again around the end of February. Garnet felt better with Bullfrog gone; he hadn't trusted the bastard not to put a bullet in his own back and carry on with Garnet's plan by himself.
He always sat close to the back door of a saloon, because you never knew when a quick exit might be needed. He was at just such a table when a tall, dark-haired man sauntered in and headed toward the bar. The well-worn pistol tied low on the man's thigh bespoke his ease with the heavy weapon, as did the easy, self-confident walk. It wasn't a strut; only hot-tempered kids looking to make a reputation felt the need for that, or for cutting notches in their guns. This man walked like he knew he could handle whatever got in his way. He had a presence about him that was strangely familiar.
Garnet peered at the stranger's face and a cold chill ran down his spine. For a minute there the man had looked like Jake Sarratt, but then Garnet saw that it wasn't. The resemblance, though, was strong. It was damn eerie.
A dark-haired saloon girl with a painted face and tired eyes perked up a little as she ran her experienced eyes down the stranger's tall form. She sashayed up to him, batting her eyelids and letting her hand trail down his thigh. He looked down at her and grinned, then nodded.
They turned away to go up the narrow stairs. Garnet quickly ducked his head so that his hat hid most of his face. He heard the stranger say, "What's your name, sugar?"
The voice was familiar, too, but not real familiar. It was like he'd seen the man once or twice, but hadn't gotten to know him. Damn if he didn't look like Jake Sarratt, though. Garnet kept his head down. It could be the other one, the brother. Wild elation shot through him. God, what a chance this would be! Give him five minutes to get started humping, then when he was going at it hard, kick the door in and put a bullet in the bastard before he knew what hit him. The only thing that kept Garnet in his chair was that he didn't know if Jake Sarratt was anywhere around.
Where had he seen the man before?
Then it came to him, and he turned pale. He'd had a beard when Garnet had met him, but there was no doubt it was the same man. It was Tanner, the gunslick who had ridden in late one afternoon and hired on, but only stayed a day or so before leaving as quietly as he'd come. But his name wasn't Tanner; it was Sarratt, and he would know Garnet on sight.
Garnet gave the room a good look, but didn't see anyone he knew. That didn't mean anything. The Sarratts had hired a lot of new men. There could be any number of Sarratt men in here right now, surrounding him.
There was no way he was going to go up those stairs. There'd be another time, and a better chance.
Being careful not to catch anyone's eye, he got up from the table and slipped out the back door. When he was in the sour-smelling alley he started running, slipped and almost fell, but caught himself at the last moment with his hands. His left hand was in something foul-smelling and squishy. Garnet cursed viciously as he got up and scraped the sticky crap off his hand the best he could, rubbing it against the rough side of the building. That was just one more grievance he had against the goddamn Sarratts.
He waited until he was a piece down the street before washing his hand in a horse trough, then he hurried to the crib where he was sleeping. It wasn't anything more than a lean-to built against a stable, and the walls were made of unfinished planks nailed across some logs. The cracks were big enough to shoot through, and it had started getting damn cold at night. He'd have to find something better soon.
He was sharing the crib with Quinzy, who was already rolled up in his blanket and snoring his head off. Garnet nudged him with his boot. "Quinzy! Wake up. One of the damn Sarratts is in town, maybe both of them."
Quinzy came awake without any of the mumbling and wiping his eyes that most men did. He sat up. "Is it Jake?"
"I didn't see Jake. It's the brother, I don't remember his front name. He's the son of a bitch who rode in calling hisself Tanner, and left right after that. Guess he came to talk to Jake about something. Goddamn bastards were planning it right under our noses!"
Quinzy was silent. This latest plan of Garnet's was stupid, but there was no talking sense to him. He had it in his mind that the little gal was his, and that he had a right to the ranch. Damned if Garnet hadn't gone as loony, in his way, as McLain had. Quinzy had drifted along with Garnet out of habit, but it looked like the time had come to part.
"Don't look like I'll be riding back to the kingdom with you, Garnet," Quinzy said. "Heard tell the land up along the Snake is mighty pretty and mighty lonesome, a good place for me to lay low for a spell. Reckon I'll do that. Twenty years ago I was game to take on the Sarratts, or anybody else come to that, but I'm twenty years older and twenty years slower. It's time for me to think about retiring."
"I hate to hear you're not going with me, Quinzy," Garnet said. "We been together a long time, but a man's got to do what a man's got to do."
"Glad you're being understanding about it, and all. I'll ride out early in the morning, before anybody gets a good look at me. Don't know if any of the Sarratt men know who I am, but iffen they don't I'd like to keep it that way."
Quinzy rolled back up in his blankets and listened to Garnet doing the same. After a while Quinzy began to snore again. He never heard the quiet snicking of a hammer being pulled back. If there was a fraction of a second after the trigger was pulled that he heard the explosion of the shot, it was too tiny a slice of time for it to do him any good. Garnet's bullet plowed into the back of Quinzy's head, splattering a big portion of the front of it across the wall.
Garnet rolled up his blankets and got his gear. There wasn't much chance of a single shot in this part of town being investigated, but it was best to clear out anyway. He looked down at the body. "Like I said, a man's got to do what a man's got to do," he said in an undertone. "If you ain't with me, you're against me."
It snowed early that year, a light dusting that barely covered the ground but gave hint of the coldness to come. That morning when Victoria left the bed to look out the window at the layer of white, she felt the child move for the first time. She went very still, her hand pressed to her lower abdomen as she waited for it to come again.
Jake looked up from stamping his feet into his boots, noticing her stillness. "What's wrong?"
"The baby moved," she replied in a low tone.
He came over to stand beside her. She had donned a shift but nothing else, and he felt a surge of lust as he looked at her. She lifted her hand and his replaced it on her belly, while his other arm circled her and pulled her against his body. They stood motionless and finally it came again, a flutter so faint that Jake barely felt it. He caught his breath, his heart pounding at this evidence of life. Until now, the baby had been defined by symptoms, most of them unpleasant for Victoria. But this was different; this was life.
She let herself lean against him, knowing it would do no good to try to put distance between them. He made love to her whenever he wanted, just as he had before, with a searing sensuality that became more intense with time, rather than weakening. There was no part of her body that was sacred from his touch, and pregnancy seemed to have made her that much more responsive. Even her skin felt sensitized. Sometimes she felt she would drown in sensuality, but the loving playfulness that she had found with him before their fight didn't return.
Instead she resented his physical power over her, because he wielded it without love. Even after all that had happened, she still loved him; he would not have been able to hurt her so deeply if she hadn't. He cared for her, she thought, but she was carrying his child, so why wouldn't he feel some concern? And he enjoyed sleeping with her, that was plain enough. But not one word of love ever crossed those hard, chiseled lips.
She bitterly resented his lack of faith in her. It still rankled every day that he could believe her capable of such betrayal. His accusation had sprung from the legacy of hate he still carried around with him; even though McLain was dead, the hatred in Jake hadn't dissipated. Sometimes Victoria could almost feel McLain still in the house, with the ghosts of Jake's parents, keeping the hatred alive.
It would be best if she took the child and left. She didn't want it to grow up surrounded by hatred; she wanted it to grow up happy, in a house without shadows. The idea of leaving teased her mind every day, but the difficulty of it defeated her. How could she leave? Where could she go? Moreover, neither Emma nor Celia would want to leave. Emma might watch Ben with great sad eyes whenever he wasn't looking, but the ranch had become her cousin's home. She wouldn't want to leave it or Ben, even if he had apparently lost interest.
Celia was growing up, rapidly leaving her helter-skelter ways behind. She was calmer, more dignified, more thoughtful. Her hair was usually neat now, her dress tidy, and she walked instead of skipping. She still spent a lot of time crooning to Rubio and trying to make friends with the great stallion, but she no longer seemed so obsessed by it. No, Celia wouldn't want to leave.
Jake turned her in his arms, his hand sliding up to cup her breasts. Victoria looked up at him, her eyes grave. He looked back at her with his intention plain. He'd just finished dressing, but the clothes came off as easily as they went on. He led her back to the bed, and it was another hour before they left the room.
The winter months came with a vengeance, with more bitter cold than snow, though there was enough of both. Victoria grew increasingly rounder, her pregnancy immediately apparent to anyone who took the time to look. Her mood changed, becoming both calmer and a bit dreamy as she was increasingly preoccupied by the changes in her body. Everything was out of her control. At least the last of the morning sickness had gone and physically she felt wonderful, though she still tired easily.
She would have thought that her increasing bulk would dampen Jake's carnal desires, but not so. He handled her with increasing care and made love to her in various positions that put none of his weight on her body, but he seemed to find her as desirable as ever. If she had thought about it she would have been reassured, but it never occurred to her to wonder if other men remained as attentive to their wives during pregnancy.
In the middle of December, Angelina gave birth. The woman had been in hard labor for over an hour before any of the men paid heed to the cries they heard coming from her small, cluttered room. Both Carmita and Lola were reluctant to attend the woman. Despite her own distaste, Victoria felt that she had to do something for her. Perhaps it was her own pregnancy that made her feel more deeply for Angelina's plight. For whatever reason, she wrapped herself in her warmest shawl and trudged across the yard to the far buildings. Carmita threw up her hands and followed.
Angelina turned her head on the soiled pillow as Victoria entered. Her teeth drew back in what was meant to be her usual insolent smile, but it became more of a grimace. "So! You want to see how it will be when it's your turn?"
The lack of cleanliness in the room was appalling. There was a small fireplace but the fire had burned down and Angelina hadn't been able to replenish it, so the room was decidedly chill. Despite that, sweat beaded on Angelina's grayish face as she suddenly contorted in another pain.
"Quickly, rebuild the fire," Victoria instructed. She wasn't herself too certain what to do, but warmth and cleanliness seemed a good place to start. With Carmita, she managed to get clean linens on the bed, though the mattress beneath was grimy. Carmita was the experienced one and took over with Victoria's blessing. The soiled negligee Angelina had been wearing was removed and replaced by one of Carmita's own, as hers were voluminous enough to fit over Angelina's swollen breasts.
The woman strained in labor all afternoon and into the night. Her lovely dark eyes sank back into her head and her lips were raw and bleeding from the scrape of her teeth.
Jake knocked on the door and tugged Victoria outside when she opened it. He pulled her within the folds of the heavy sheepskin coat he wore, wrapping her inside his own warmth. "Let Carmita handle it," he growled. "You don't need to be out here."
The wind bit through her skirts, and her breath fogged the air. "If it were me I would want all of the help anyone could give." She leaned against his muscled body, and his child moved strongly within her. "I think she's going to die," she whispered, strangely desolate. It wasn't just that she would be enduring childbirth herself in a few months, but that Angelina was so alone and would die so unloved.
If Angelina was truly going to die, Jake didn't want Victoria in there watching it. He tried to bully her back into the house, but she refused to budge. He was on the verge of physically carrying her when she lifted her wan face and said, "How can I expect anyone to help me if I'm not willing to help when I can?"
"Your situation is different. You have family---"
"Angelina doesn't. She has no one." She lifted her fingers to his lips, the first time she had touched him voluntarily outside of bed since the day she had told him she was pregnant. The light touch seared him all the way to his soul, and he trembled. He caught her hand and turned her palm against his cheek, cold and beard-rough.
"Shall I send Emma to help?" he asked in a hoarse voice. He could barely speak.
"No." Victoria's smile was wry. "She isn't married. It wouldn't do at all. But perhaps---if Lola will come. Ask, but don't order her. It should be her decision."
He let her go back inside the dingy little room with its coppery odor of hot, fresh blood and wished that she had just a little less the lady of the manor's ingrained sense of responsibility.
Lola did come, along with the news that she had prepared a light meal for them and left it in the kitchen; she would stay while they ate. Carmita took herself off for a hasty meal, but Victoria didn't feel that she could endure food right then. She was tired, and her stomach was a little queasy.
Angelina had been lying with her eyes closed for over an hour. She didn't open them now, but she said in a surprisingly strong voice, "You might as well eat. I would if I could."
"I'm not hungry," Victoria replied, sponging the woman's face. The time between contractions was short. For a while they had been almost constant, but nothing had happened and now they were spaced a bit further apart.
It was the last time Angelina spoke. Close to
They couldn't stem the flow of blood and Angelina was too weak to fight. She was unconscious and never knew that her daughter had died while trying to be born. A few hours later she too died.
Carmita and Lola took charge of cleaning the bodies for burial and refused to allow Victoria to help. She was sent back to the house, her body weighed down with weariness. Her own child was merrily kicking her ribs, letting her know that it was doing well.
To her surprise, Jake was sitting in the kitchen hunched over a cup of coffee that was no longer steaming. He looked up when she entered.
"They both died." Victoria's voice was colorless.
Jake got up and held her in his arms. As he carried her to their room, she clutched his shirt and wept, her tears hot against his shoulder.
Neither life nor nature paused. Work on the ranch went on, and Victoria's girth continued to increase. Though she knew she would get much larger before it was finished, her shifting center of gravity made her feel constantly off-balance. Stroking her belly now during the baby's more acrobatic movements, she could discern a foot from an elbow, a hand from a knee.
"Jesus," Jake said one night, amazed at the force with which a tiny foot had thudded against his hand. "This feels like two wildcats in a sack fighting to get out."
"Thank you, how reassuring."
He grinned and continued stroking his hand lazily over her belly. "Do you think it could be two?"
"No. I've counted one head, two feet, two knees, two elbows, and two hands. In whatever position, there's only one baby."
He was relieved. The thought of her in labor with one child was scary enough.
Late in January Celia filched an apple from the storeroom and carried it out to Rubio. It was a beautiful morning, cold and crisp. A few inches of snow covered the ground, but the sky was cloudless. Her blood was singing through her veins; perhaps, just perhaps, Luis would be able to join her in her secret place in the loft. It was harder to find privacy now that winter kept the men close to the house. When spring came, she thought, she and Luis would ride out to a private place and spend the entire day making love.
Rubio was prancing around in the largest corral, snorting and shaking his head as he enjoyed his exercise. Dual trails of steam blew from his wide-open nostrils. He cavorted like a colt, and his red hide gleamed like polished mahogany in the bright sun.
Celia climbed on the fence, content just to watch him. He was seldom playful, so she didn't try to coax him to her to take the apple. In time he would work out his kinks, then he would come over to her for his treat. It had been weeks since he had tried to snap at her and he no longer shied when she patted his sleek, muscular neck.
He was beautiful, she thought, beautiful in much the same way that Luis was. They were both magnificent animals, dangerous and simple in their instincts.
Luis. Celia shivered. Just the forming of his name in her mind made her go soft and warm inside, the way she felt when they were making love. Her breasts tingled, and she thought of his mouth sucking at them. Luis.
Her grip on the apple loosened and it fell to the ground. She knelt and reached for it through the fence, but it was a good foot beyond her fingertips. Rubio was on the far side of the corral, his proud head lifted high. She was safe enough, she thought, and climbed over the fence.
Even inside the house they heard the piercing screams of an enraged horse. There were shouts and the sound of men running. There was another scream, only one, but this one was different. It went through Victoria's heart.
She ran. Emma tried to catch her. "Victoria, no!" Emma had a hard grip on her arm, but Victoria thrust her aside with violent strength. She didn't notice her unwieldy body as her feet flew over the snow.
"Celia!" she screamed. There was no answer.
In the corral a knot of men on horseback had thrown several ropes over Rubio's head and were fighting him to a standstill. Jake was one of the men. He dismounted and ran to a small crumpled heap on the ground. As he went down on one knee, he saw Victoria flying toward them, her face a white mask.
"Ben, grab her!" he yelled.
Ben ran, intercepting her before she could reach the corral. He held her by wrapping his arms around her from behind, locking them under her breasts. She kicked and heaved, but his iron strength held her.
"Let me go!" she shrieked, trying to claw his face. Tears streamed down her cheeks. "Celia. Celia!"
Jake shifted his body so that he was between Victoria and Celia, but she could see the blue of her shawl, matted now with mud. The tan of her skirt. The white tumble of petticoats. A small shoe, lying by itself in the snow. A silky blond lock, stirring in the wind. And a lot of red. Celia hadn't been wearing anything red.
"Get a blanket," Jake called sharply over his shoulder, and someone ran to do his bidding.
Victoria twisted, still trying to tear herself free. Ben was talking to her, trying to calm her down, but his words didn't make any sense. Emma was standing rooted to their left, her hands pressed over her mouth as if to hold her own screams inside. Her eyes were black in her colorless face.
The blanket was brought and Jake wrapped it around the small bundle. Luis rode up and a stark look tightened his lean face. Without a word he swung down and climbed through the fence.
As Jake started to lift Celia, Luis said, "I'll take her." His voice was tight. "You see to your woman and I'll see to mine."
Jake gave him a sharp look, seeing what was etched in Luis's eyes. He looked back down at the small, still girl and touched her bloody cheek with gentle fingers. Then Jake left Celia to the man who had loved her, and walked to Victoria.
She was no longer fighting Ben, but stood motionless in his grip with her eyes the only spot of color in her face. She didn't even have a shawl.
Ben released her and she stood alone, her body rigid. She searched Jake's eyes for any sign of hope and found none. Still, she had to ask, had to hear it said. "Is she alive?"
Jake wanted to sweep her up and carry her inside, have her warm and cosseted in bed before he told her what he had to tell her, but she was waiting, holding herself tight inside, and he knew she wouldn't leave until she knew.
"No," he said.
Victoria swayed and he reached for her, but in the next instant she drew herself up straight, her chin high. "Bring her inside, please," she said in a brittle but controlled voice, as if she would shatter if she let her control slip at all. "She'll need... she'll need washing."
Luis carried Celia inside, his face rigid as the wind blew her hair over his arm and teased his cheek with it. Victoria and Emma were behind him, their shoulders back despite their sudden haggardness. Jake and Ben followed, both of them watching the slender, unbending spines ahead. Jake wanted to take Victoria in his arms and give her what comfort he could, but held back. Comfort now would soften her, and she needed all the strength she could muster.
Carmita and Lola were sobbing softly into their aprons, while Juana had her hand stuffed into her mouth. "We'll need water, please," Victoria said softly as she directed Luis upstairs.
He placed Celia on her bed and knelt beside it, slowly wrapping a bright tendril of hair around his finger. The blanket covered her face, but her hair was free. "I love you," he said to the motionless girl, but there was no answer, and his heart was dying inside him.
Victoria put her hand on his shoulder. She hadn't known, but now she realized that she should have guessed. Celia had changed in the past months, since meeting Luis. "She loved you, too. You made her happy."
He swallowed and carried her hair to his face. It still smelled like Celia. "We were lovers," he said thickly. "It never felt wrong."
"It wasn't wrong." It went against everything they had ever been taught, but it wasn't wrong. Victoria was struck by how much their lives had changed, how much she had changed, since coming to this wild land. When she had first stepped down on territory soil, her life had been ruled by what society designated as proper or improper, but propriety no longer mattered to her when measured against love.
Love had changed Celia from a child into a woman. She had been content, no longer running from flower to flower as if in search of enough beauty and happiness to satisfy her need for it. She had found it in Luis.
Still sobbing, Carmita brought the water, but as she put it down she said, "I will wash the señorita, if you like."
"Thank you, but Emma and I will do it," Victoria said gently. It was the last thing they would be able to do for Celia.
Jake came up and took Luis away with him. Ben was overseeing the building of a coffin and having a new grave dug. Gently Victoria and Emma cut away Celia's torn clothing and began washing the mud and blood from her pale body. Rubio's sharp hooves had opened numerous deep cuts, but they were mostly on her back; she must have cowered with her arms over her head in a futile effort to protect herself. The back of her skull was flat and soft where the killing blow had landed, but her face was unmarked except for a small scrape on her forehead. They washed her hair and brushed it dry. Her eyes were closed like a child's in sleep, her long lashes resting on marble-white cheeks. Looking at Celia lying on the bed as they dressed her in her favorite clothes, Victoria thought that she looked as though she would wake if only they shook her, but the essence of Celia was gone.
Victoria didn't sleep that night. Jake insisted that she go to bed, and she did, but lay in his arms with her eyes open and burning. She had cried, but the tears hadn't brought a sense of release and now they wouldn't come at all. The pain clenched at her heart, sharp and unending. She had never been able to imagine life without Celia. Her sister had been as bright as the sun, and without her everything now had altered, become darker.
Her baby moved, and Victoria touched it. "She was looking forward to the baby so much. Now she'll never see it."
Jake hadn't slept either. He was too aware of Victoria's suffering, and his own sense of loss was acute. There would be no more conversations about riding astride or determining the sex of kittens, no more small shocks every time she opened her mouth, no more searches for items she had left in bizarre places.
He held Victoria close; he hadn't released her all night long and didn't intend to. "If it's a girl, would you like to name her Celia?"
Victoria's voice almost cracked. "I couldn't. Not yet."
An hour later she said, "She looked pretty, didn't she?"
"Like an angel."
"We'll have to take care of her kitten."
Dawn was a miracle of colors, gold and red and pink streaking across a lightening blue sky. Celia would have been entranced. Victoria looked at the sky and thought of all the dawns that would be less appreciated now, without Celia there to watch them. She got up and dressed. She had no black dresses for mourning, but out here it didn't seem as important as it had in Augusta. Grief was in her heart, not her clothes.
She twisted her hair into a careless knot, and Jake fastened her dress for her. She looked out the window again and said, "I want that horse destroyed."
Jake knew the need for revenge, knew how it could burn and fester. His hands tightened on her shoulders. "He's a dumb animal, Victoria. We had warned her time and again to be careful around him."
"He's a killer. He trampled one of the Mexican hands after you'd left that time, did you know? He should have been shot then."
The plans Jake had made for Rubio's get would never come to pass if he put the stallion down. Sophie was with foal, but he'd planned on buying other mares good enough to mate with the stallion. He wanted to produce a whole line of big, strong, fast horses. His heart ached, but destroying the animal wouldn't bring Celia back, wouldn't accomplish anything except Rubio's death and with it his outstanding blend of speed and strength. Victoria had been irrational about the stallion from the beginning, so Jake didn't expect her to make a rational decision now.
Still, it might become necessary to put him down. If no one could work with him without fearing for their lives, there would be no choice. Jake wanted to wait and see before he did something irrevocable.
"I won't order him shot," he said, and watched her face become even more withdrawn. He whirled her around to face him. "Not yet. I'm not saying I won't, I'm just saying that I'm going to think about it before I do something that can't be undone."
"Celia can't be brought back. Is that damn horse worth more than she was?"
"No, damn it, but killing him won't bring her back, either."
"It'll accomplish one thing, at least."
"What?"
"I won't have to look at the barn and know he's in there, safe and warm and well-fed, while my sister is in her grave."
They buried Celia with the sun shining brightly on her coffin, making the pale new wood gleam with a golden hue that almost matched her hair.
They all retired early that night, too dispirited even to try and talk. Emma watched Jake lead Victoria into their bedroom, his arm around her waist both possessive and tender, and the door closed to lock them in their private world where no one else could enter. Ben walked past her with a quiet good night and went into his own bedroom.
Emma carefully closed her own door, went about the nightly ritual of washing and getting into her nightgown, and then was totally unable to get into bed. She sat in a chair with her hands folded in her lap, rocking back and forth in a silent paroxysm of grief.
Death came so suddenly and it was so final, so indiscriminate. In a short time it had taken a nameless infant, an unloved whore, and a girl whose smile had made hearts break. They were promised nothing, any of them, not another year, another week, or even another day. Babies were born and every day of their lives after that was a risk. People could hide from life, but not from death.
Celia had lived life as if it were the greatest joy. She had reveled in its beauty and ignored the ugliness unless forced to look upon it. She had tried to hide from that part of life, but in the end it had found her.
In the end all they had was the moment, the everlasting now. One could plan for the future, one could try, but nothing was guaranteed.
Victoria was with her husband and their child was growing in her body. Celia had reached out with eager hands to embrace her love. But she, Emma, had turned away from the love that had beckoned her. Oh, she had had very good reasons and perhaps the love wasn't what she would have wished, but it had been offered and she had denied it.
How would she feel if Ben didn't survive the night?
A mighty hand squeezed her chest and tears leaked from the corners of her eyes. He might never return the devotion she felt for him, but that wouldn't make it one whit weaker. She had turned him away, and he hadn't asked in months now. She was alone, by her own will.
She got to her feet and blew out the lamp. Sitting here brooding wouldn't accomplish anything. She needed to get some sleep.
But she could not get into that bed. She paused, staring at its pale expanse in the darkness. A cold, empty bed, just as she was cold and empty.
She bolted out the door and down the hall. She jerked Ben's door open without pausing to think, her eyes wide and desperate, and came to an abrupt halt when he whirled around with his gun in his-hand. The hammer was pulled back, his finger on the trigger. She looked down the unwavering barrel, dead level with her head.
Ben aimed the gun toward the ceiling and slowly let the hammer back down. "Don't ever do that again."
"No. I won't."
He wore only his pants, and the dark hair around his forehead was damp from his washing. Emma stared at the broad expanse of his chest, muscled and covered with dark hair, and felt her knees go weak.
"What do you want?"
"I want---" She stopped, her throat tightening. Her fingers dug into the wood of the doorframe. "Ben---"
He faced her, waiting.
"I want you to hold me," she whispered, one hand blindly reaching out for him. "Don't let me be alone tonight. God, I don't want to die without knowing what it's like to lie with you."
He sighed as he caught her hand, his rough fingers closing warmly, reassuringly around it. He'd given up hope that she would come to him, though he'd never quite been able to lose the dream. He had ceased to pressure her during the past few months, not because he'd wanted her less but because what he was offering wasn't fair to her. He still found the thought of marriage distasteful, and that was what a woman like Emma should have.
But his newly developed scruples didn't extend to turning her down if she came to his room wearing nothing but a thin nightgown, begging him to hold her.
Desire was already pumping through him, and he looked at her through narrowed, burning eyes. "You know that holding you won't be all I'll do, don't you? There's no way I can lie down with you and not be inside you, Emma girl."
"Yes, I know." She straightened her shoulders, though her soft, wide lips were trembling. "It's what I want, too."
He pulled her inside and closed the door. She was shaking as he gently freed her hair from its nighttime braid and spread it over her shoulders like a dark cloak. He lifted her hands and placed them on his shoulders, then bent and covered her mouth with his. Emma's eyelids fluttered shut, and she sank against him, against his wonderful heat and strength. Now that she had taken the step, she felt a deep calm underlying her sexual arousal, as if things had finally fallen into their rightful place.
He caught the hem of her nightgown and lifted it up and off. She trembled even more, and her hands made slight movements as if to shield herself, then she let them lie trustingly on his shoulders while he looked down at her slender white body. Ben felt breathless. She was so finely made that he felt coarse and clumsy, likely to hurt her with the lust that burned through him. He put his hand over one breast, marveling at the silky warmth of her and the contrast of his tanned, callused hand against the alabaster globe, then he lifted it and bent down to take the nipple in his mouth.
Incredible heat washed over her, more intense than anything he had taught her before. His taste and scent were achingly familiar; she recognized him by the primitive signs with which women have always recognized their mates. When he placed her on his bed, she went willingly.
"I don't know what to do," she whispered.
"I'll show you," he murmured in reply, kissing her neck and ear and then her mouth. He was achingly erect, throbbing with the need to enter her, but this first time control was crucial. "You taste sweet, Emma girl."
Emma moaned as he moved down to her breasts and began sucking at her nipples with a power that sent fire running through her veins. Time swirled and disappeared. His hands and mouth were all over her body, tasting her, feeling her. She received a jolt when he touched her between her legs, though the hot tide of pleasure quickly drowned her surprise. There was another jolt when he slid one long finger into her, testing both her response and the strength of her maidenhead. She winced away from the slight burning, but he rubbed his thumb across and around the sensitive nub at the top of her sex and with a whimper she returned, her hips rotating in search of more.
"Please." She clutched at him with wet hands. "Ben!"
He heeded her cry and stripped out of his pants, then spread her legs apart. He stopped to steady his breathing and regain his control. "It'll hurt just this once," he said roughly.
She lifted herself against the shaft that probed between her folds. "I know," she murmured as he let his weight down on her and settled his hips in the cradle of her thighs.
He entered her with care, pushing forward with slow pressure. She gasped, and her nails dug into his shoulders. Her body was opening for him, stretching painfully. She thought it was unbearable, but found that it wasn't. Her maidenhead gave way and he went deep inside her while tears burned her eyes. He lay very still, but she could feel his length throbbing as she tried to accustom herself to his penetration.
Then he withdrew, and she stared at him with dark, questioning eyes. He managed a tight smile. "No, it isn't finished. I'm just getting started, sugar, but I'm going to make certain you enjoy this as much as I will." Then he bent to her, applying mouth and fingers to the enjoyable task, and soon she was on fire. Just as she arched in her first convulsive climax, Ben thrust deeply into her, and there was no pain, only the intoxicating passion of their two bodies joined.
Two nights later Victoria slipped out of bed. Her eyes were burning from tears and lack of sleep, yet still she couldn't manage to do more than doze off occasionally. Every time she did, she woke with the sound of a single scream in her ears, and dreaded hearing it again.
It was after
She couldn't accept losing Celia, she just couldn't. Her older brother had been killed during the war and she had grieved, but it had been different somehow. He had been a grown man, and he had chosen to fight. Celia had been on the verge of blooming into full womanhood, a promise that would forever now go unfulfilled; she had not chosen to be stomped to death by a killer horse. Dear God, how she missed her!
And Rubio still stamped about in his roomy stall, healthy and vicious. It was just a matter of time until he killed again.
Unless she stopped it.
She didn't bother with stockings, but put on her slippers. Her shawl was hanging over the back of a chair, and she wrapped it around her head and shoulders. Jake's holsters were also slung over a chair, one sitting next to his side of the bed so he could reach them in a hurry. She tiptoed over and gingerly slid one of the heavy weapons free of the leather.
It weighted down her arm as she slipped from the room and down the stairs. She would barely be able to hold it steady if she needed it. She hoped she wouldn't.
The cold air blasted her in the face as she tugged the door open. New snow was falling, fat, fluffy snow-flakes silently drifting down to cover everything in white. How Celia would have enjoyed it.
The walk to the barn seemed longer than it ever had before. The falling snow combined with darkness confused her depth perception and she stumbled several times. Already her feet and legs were freezing. It would be warmer in the barn with the body heat given off by the animals. Sophie was in there, her barrel swelling with Rubio's foal. And Gypsy, Celia's calm, gentle Gypsy. Several of the other mares had been bred to the stallion, but not Gypsy, and Victoria was violently glad.
She had to struggle to open the barn door, and a horse nickered in curiosity. The blackness seemed absolute. She left the door open, pushing it wide, then swinging the other door open, too. She knew that there was a lantern hanging just inside the right door and fumbled around until she found it and managed to get it lit. The warm yellow glow dispelled the darkness.
Sophie put her head over the top of the stall, and down at the far end of the barn Victoria could see the stallion's well-formed head, showing as a dark shadow rather than the red she knew it to be. How much better it would have been if the double doors at that end of the barn had opened into a free pasture rather than a series of corrals and pens, but they did, which meant she would have to drive the stallion back the entire length of the barn.
She knew she couldn't shoot the horse. As much as she hated him, she couldn't put the gun to his head and pull the trigger. Jake was right; he was a dumb animal. She could have shot him in self-defense or to defend anyone from an immediate attack, but not otherwise.
"You're safe from me," she whispered as she approached his stall, "as long as you don't start in my direction. Do you hear me, horse? Then I will kill you."
His ears went back and he watched her with unconcealed hostility. He began stamping, one hoof thudding down repeatedly. In her stall Sophie whinnied and kicked out, sensing the stallion's agitation.
Victoria gripped the pistol in her right hand and used both thumbs to pull the hammer back and cock it. She had to be ready in case he did charge at her. Then she unlatched the stall door and pulled it open, backing up with it, keeping the sturdy wood between her and the horse at all times.
He screamed and backed farther into the stall. "Get out," she hissed. She never wanted to see the stallion again. She had thought about it and in her exhaustion arrived at the truth: she couldn't live on this ranch if Rubio remained. The hate would fester, and every time she saw him she would remember that he'd killed her sister.
He reared, screaming shrilly again. "Go on, get out!" Victoria yelled. She grabbed a length of bridle from the wall, swinging it over the stall at him. "Get out!"
He bolted out of the stall and down the center of the barn, but halted midway, hooves stamping. His ears were still back and he reared, turning to face her. Victoria braced the gun on top of the stall door. "Come on, then," she whispered.
He screamed and ran for freedom, hooves thundering in the night. Other horses all over the ranch were awake now, kicking and whinnying. Lights were appearing as candles and lamps were lit, men were spilling out of the bunkhouse pulling on their pants and stomping their feet into boots. Victoria was half-frozen and wobbling with exhaustion as she left the barn after extinguishing the lantern. It was all she could do to push the double doors together again and fasten them.
Jake was running toward her with Ben right behind him. Both of them were armed, pistols in hand. When he saw her with his other pistol in her hand, he grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her. "What did you do?" he yelled.
"I let him go," she said simply, and handed Jake his pistol.
He shoved it into the empty holster. "You what?" Equal amounts of rage and incredulousness were in his voice.
"I let him go. I couldn't live here with him safe and sound in the barn and Celia in a grave. You'll have to make do with the foals he's already sired."
He swore violently, then shut up when he looked down at her. She was as white as her nightgown and shivering with cold; she had only a shawl thrown around her to protect her from the weather. She swayed, and he picked her up. "All right, darling," he said in a far gentler tone. "All right." He carried her back to the house and put her to bed. For the first time since Celia's death, she went soundly to sleep.
March came, bringing hints of spring that lasted just long enough to make them all start hoping. Victoria was awkward and slow-moving, unable to get up out of a chair by herself. She hadn't recovered her spirits, but was able to smile a little when Jake teased her. Her bulk had its own dampening effect on her moods; her back ached constantly now and she was unable to find a comfortable position for sleeping. The baby had settled so low that she found it difficult even to walk. If only this pregnancy would end! She found herself even looking forward to labor, for it would mean an end to this constant physical wretchedness.
Jake had never particularly considered himself a family man, despite the fact that he was now married and increasingly in love with his wife. It was with some surprise that he realized he was staying close to the house these days, just in case. He rubbed her back for her every night, and helped her out of bed for her numerous nightly visits to the chamberpot. The size of her belly alarmed him, for he knew how slender her hips were. Angelina had died in childbirth; he was terrified that the same might happen to Victoria.
The last of March came and went. Everyone watched her like a hawk. The third of April, it began snowing again and Victoria felt like screaming with frustration. Would spring and this baby never get here?
She couldn't sleep that night; she was more restless than usual, and the sheets kept tangling about her legs.
Jake rubbed her back, but it didn't help. She got up to wash her face with cool water, and he got up with her. Since the night she had sneaked out to the barn and let Rubio go, she hadn't been able to stir without disturbing him. Neither of them bothered to light a candle; the snowfall filled the room with a pale, unearthly light and she was able to see quite well though everything was without color.
Suddenly Jake stiffened. She sensed his alertness and looked at him. He was staring out the window. She looked out the window, too, but could see nothing. "Get dressed," he said sharply, and reached for his pants. "Don't light any candles or lamps." He had barely buttoned his pants before he was out the door, buckling his guns around his lean waist.
He called down the hallway, "Ben. Riders."
Ben sat up in bed at the first sound of Jake's voice, disturbing Emma who had been sleeping on his arm. "Get up, honey," he said in a quiet, level voice. "We have trouble."
He was already up and pulling on his pants before she pushed the hair out of her eyes, but his urgency was contagious. She grabbed her nightgown and pulled it on over her head, shivering as the chill struck her bare body.
"Who is it?"
"Doesn't matter."
Victoria would need her. Emma dashed out of the room ahead of Ben, who was putting on his boots, and ran to her own room, which had been largely unoccupied these past couple of months. She didn't know what had kept her from completely moving in with Ben, because certainly no one had been censorious of their relationship. In fact, in the sadness following Celia's death, they had all pulled closer together, and Emma's happiness had seemed to cheer Victoria.
Victoria had never been more aware of her ungainly bulk than she was now, when she was trying to hurry. Jake was back in the bedroom a heartbeat after calling to Ben, putting on his boots, shrugging into a shirt but not taking the time to button it. He grabbed his heavy coat on the way out the door a second time. Over his shoulder he said, "Damn it, Victoria, get dressed!"
She was trying. She didn't bother to remove her nightgown, but pulled on one of her loose dresses over it. Emma came in, dressed herself, as Victoria was struggling to put on her stockings and shoes. "I'll do it," Emma whispered, going down on her knees and rolling the stockings up Victoria's legs. "What's happening?"
"I don't know. Jake saw something and told Ben there were riders."
They listened, but couldn't hear anything. When they went downstairs they found that the men had roused the rest of the household, and the three other women were standing in their nightgowns in a terrified knot. Jake tossed Ben a rifle, then gave Victoria and Emma an assessing glance. "Both of you get a rifle and find a place where you have plenty of cover but can see to shoot. I'm going down to the bunkhouse to wake up the men."
"I'm going down to the bunkhouse," Ben corrected, and both of them thought of Victoria, heavily pregnant. It was better that Jake stay with her.
Before he slipped out the door, Ben put his hand behind Emma's neck and pulled her to him for a quick, hard kiss. It wasn't until he was gone that she realized he had kissed her good-bye, just in case.
"What's happening?" Victoria asked calmly.
"I saw a light where there shouldn't have been one. Someone lit a cigarette, probably."
"What makes you think it was more than one man?"
"Experience." He shoved a handful of shells in each pocket and pushed the box toward them. "Fill up your pockets. Carmita, can any of you shoot?"
"Yes, Señor Jake," she said. "I can, and so can Juana."
"And I," Lola said.
"Good. All of you, get a rifle. It may be nothing, but by God if it's something we'll be ready for them."
"Indians?" Juana posed timidly.
"No. Indians would never have made that light."
White men. Raiders.
Emma watched the door by which Ben had left, willing him to come back through it.
The first shot made them all jump, except for Jake. He ran toward the front of the house and broke out a window with the stock of his rifle. "Find cover!" he yelled.
They scrambled for positions. "Coming in!" Ben yelled from outside, and the door burst open. He came in low, running, and was followed by five other men. "Thought you could use some extra guns in here," he said. Luis was one of them, his lean, dark face more alive than it had been in two months.
The women went upstairs, their hearts pounding as they chose windows. Following Jake's example, Victoria smashed the glass out with her rifle and cold air poured in. "At least I won't go to sleep," she mumbled.
The barrage of shooting opened all at once, and it seemed like it came from all directions. The house echoed with shots and the sharp smell of cordite burned her nostrils. She peered out the window, searching for a target. She could see dark shapes moving around and chose the ones on horseback; their men wouldn't be mounted, she reasoned.
A man on foot raised his head from behind a bush and aimed at the house. Victoria carefully aimed and pulled the trigger. The man fell back in a boneless sprawl.
She had killed a man. It left her surprisingly unmoved. Later, perhaps, would be time for reaction.
There were more shots from the upper floor now, and the others began picking their targets. Victoria shot at a man on horseback, but missed.
A cry of pain came from one of the bedrooms. Victoria started, but didn't dare leave her post. "Emma?" she called.
"I'm fine! Carmita? Lola? Juana?"
Everyone answered except Lola. Victoria heard a low moan.
Just then an orange glow flickered across the white ground. A man galloped toward the house, a blazing torch in his right hand. Terror struck Victoria's heart. They were trying to burn the house! She shot the man in the face and he tumbled backward off the horse, the torch flying from his hand and sputtering out in the snow.
Bullets struck the adobe walls and shattered what little glass was left in the window. Shards rained down on her ducked head. When she lifted it again, she saw another man carrying a flaming torch die before he could throw it at the house.
The adobe walls would be difficult to burn, she thought, as would the clay tile roof, but what if a torch came through one of the glassless windows?
She fired and reloaded, fired and reloaded, for what seemed like hours. Her entire body felt squeezed by a great fist. Terror ate at her, because she didn't know if Jake was still alive or if a bullet had found him.
Emma ran into the room, bent low. "Lola's dead, and Juana has been wounded, but not bad. She's still shooting."
"What about Jake? And Ben?"
"I heard Jake downstairs. I don't know about Ben." Agony was in Emma's voice. Victoria squeezed her hand.
"Who is doing this?" Victoria moaned. Every muscle in her was aching. She didn't know how much longer she could stay on her feet.
"I don't know. It should be dawn soon. At least then we'll be able to see."
Dawn. Had that much time passed? It had seemed like forever, but at the same time she would have measured it in minutes instead of hours.
She caught the acrid smell of smoke.
"Get water!" she yelled. "Fire! Get water!" She grabbed the pitcher of water from the table and ran out into the hallway. Pale smoke was drifting up the stairs. She ran down them, bending over as far as she could. Someone rose up in front of her, a face from hell. It was Jake, his face blackened with gunsmoke.
"Get down!" he yelled.
"The house is on fire!"
He cursed and swung around. None of them had noticed the smoke, but now they could see it coming from the kitchen. He grabbed her arm and pulled her to the floor. "Stay here, do you hear me? Stay here! I'm going to get the others. We'll have to get out of here!"
How could they? They would run into a hail of bullets outside. But as Jake had said, they had to get out. They couldn't fight the fire and the raiders at the same time.
The smoke was getting thicker. She began ripping squares out of her skirt and soaking them in water from the pitcher she had grabbed. Ben crawled up beside her, grinning like a fiend. She hit him in the face with a sodden piece of material. "Tie that over your nose and mouth," she said. Her throat was burning, and she obeyed her own instructions.
"Is Emma all right?" Ben grunted.
"Yes. Jake has gone up to get them. Lola's dead."
Ben called the five other men together, and they pulled back from their positions as Jake came down the stairs with the three women. Victoria gave them all wet squares to cover their faces. Jake hunkered down beside her as he tied the cloth over his mouth and nose.
"We'll go out through the courtyard," he said, his voice muffled. "It's the only way that'll give us any protection. I'll go out first, then another man, then the women. The rest of you come after the women and cover them."
Luis said, "We have to get word to Lonny, or our own men are liable to shoot us."
"We don't have time. Go, now!"
Jake dragged Victoria to her feet and down the hall to one of the courtyard entrances. "We'll take you to the smithy," he said. "It's closest."
The smithy was just a three-sided shed, equipped with the basic blacksmith tools, but it had the advantage of being directly behind the house. They would have some shelter there, but not much.
Jake went out first. He saw a muzzle flash as someone fired, the bullet singing close by his head with the sound of an angry hornet. He fired but must have missed because he saw a shadow dodging to the side. He fired at the shadow, and this time was rewarded by a howl of pain that swiftly disintegrated into silence.
Behind him he could hear Victoria breathing in hard, quick gasps as the smoke got thicker. Then he heard Luis, who came out after him, his dark eyes flashing in the light of the flames that were beginning to flicker through the roof. "Get your wife," he said to Jake. "I'll guard you."
Jake put his arm around Victoria's back and ran. She tried to stay up with him but stumbled, and he held her up with the sheer force of his arm, keeping himself between her and the most likely line of fire. "I can make it, just watch your back!" she gasped.
"Don't talk, just run!"
The men behind them were firing steadily, snapping off shots at anyone who moved. From the bunkhouse and stable came a furious volley, as someone spotted the women trying to flee the house and laid down covering fire so they could reach safety. Bullets zinged overhead, but they ran and ducked and weaved, never giving anyone a steady target.
Jake made it to the smithy with Victoria and placed her on the ground at the back of the shed. He was already turning around to leave her as he said, "Stay down. Don't raise your head for anything." Then he took up position beside Luis, picking his shots and snapping them off, firing for effect rather than cover.
Emma tumbled into the smithy in a tangle of skirts, but she quickly got to her hands and knees and crawled to Victoria, swearing as the cloth tangled her legs again. Illogically, Victoria laughed at hearing those sort of words leaving Emma's proper mouth. Emma looked up and grinned. Most of her dark hair had come loose from its braid, and her pale skin was smeared with soot and gunpowder. "Well," she said, "there's no point in worrying about manners right now."
"I agree." Victoria laughed again, a bit disoriented. They had both killed tonight, so why worry about propriety?
Carmita and Juana scrambled in after them. Juana was bleeding from a cut high on her shoulder where a splinter of glass had sliced through the air. She sank down on the ground, still clutching a rifle in her hand.
Ben's left leg was suddenly knocked out from under him, and he went down as abruptly as if he had been tripped. Emma made a high, thin sound and despite Jake's shouted warning darted out of the shelter.
Ben was already rolling over, trying to get his good leg under him, when Emma slid into the snow beside him. She grabbed his collar and began dragging him, screaming and crying and swearing all at the same time. He was swearing, too, yelling at Emma to let go of him and get the hell back into the smithy, but she refused. Her strength amazed him. Though he far outweighed her, she dug her heels in and pulled and there was nothing he could do to stop her, no way he could break her grip. She dragged him into the smithy and immediately began tearing his pants leg open so she could see the wound.
"How is he?" Jake barked.
"I'll live," Ben replied for himself, though it wasn't by any means certain. The bullet had punched completely through his thigh. Still, if he didn't bleed to death and if he didn't get gangrene, he would be all right.
"Sarratt! Goddamn you, Sarratt, where are you?"
Jake's head came up, and an unholy look crossed his face, a cold glitter coming into his eyes. "Garnet," he hissed. A small smile of anticipation touched his lips, and he snaked a run across the yard. Now he knew who to hunt; it was what he'd been waiting for. This time Garnet wasn't going to get away.
Dawn was slowly turning the sky a pale gray. It was snowing again, the swirling flakes cutting down on visibility. Crimson and yellow light from the burning house illuminated the area in a strange, flickering glow. Victoria turned her head and looked at the house; the fire in the kitchen had burned through to the second floor. She could see flames breaking through the roof and licking out of the broken windows. It was dying, the old, graceful house that had seen both love and savage betrayal, birth and death. She hadn't been able to bring herself to pack away Celia's clothes, but now she wouldn't have to; the flames were destroying every memento, leaving only her own memories.
The fist tightened on her body. She lay panting, watching the flames, and when she could speak again she said, "The baby will be here soon."
Carmita gasped, too overwhelmed by the night's events to comprehend how she could deal with this, too. Emma looked up from where she was applying pressure to Ben's wounds to stop the bleeding, her face tight with strain. "Your pains have started?"
Victoria inhaled sharply, her fingers digging into the dirt. "Hours ago."
Garnet was desperate and losing control. It wasn't supposed to have been like this! It should have happened the way it had the first time, with them riding in and catching everyone off guard or asleep. Instead, those bastards had been awake and waiting for them. It didn't make sense, and it made him afraid. Only the thought of finally getting his hands on Celia kept him from running. This would be his last chance, because he knew that if he failed, Sarratt would hunt him down like a mad dog.
"Sarratt!" he bellowed. "Sarratt!" Even as he yelled, he changed position, working his way around toward the barn. If he could just draw Jake out, to hell with a fair fight. No way was he going to face Jake. Just one shot was all he'd need, a quick bullet in the head or back, and no more Sarratt. Someone had already gotten the brother. The kingdom would be his, and Celia would be his. He'd have to take care of Bullfrog in the same way he took care of Sarratt, but that didn't trouble him any.
Jake didn't answer. He remained where he was, watching. He saw someone quickly sidle into the corral. The light was too uncertain for him to recognize the man by anything other than instinct. Garnet was heading toward the barn, where he would have cover when Jake showed himself.
Jake didn't intend to show himself. On his belly he wormed his way from bush to tree to well-house, then to the bunkhouse. Bodies were sprawled all over the yard, dark, boneless heaps. A lot of men had died that night. He wasn't going to be one of them, but Garnet damn sure was.
"We need heat," Emma said calmly. "Can someone fire up the forge, please? And we need light."
Luis began stoking coal into the forge. "Heat, yes, but there's no lantern. It will be daylight soon."
Victoria didn't care about either heat or light. Every instinct, every sense, was focused inward. She was in the grip of a force that wouldn't be denied, a great squeezing force wrapped around her body and dragging her down. Even though she had witnessed Angelina's labor, she hadn't imagined it would be this bad. It was grinding agony, tearing her pelvis apart and forcing air from her lungs, and it went on and on with only spare moments of relief between the waves.
Ben lay next to the anvil, listening to Victoria's stifled groans. "Take my shirt," he instructed, keeping his voice steady with effort. "Twist it, and wrap it tight around a stick, then set it on fire. It'll give you a few minutes of light."
"All right," Emma said after pausing to consider the idea. "But not just yet. We'll need it more in a little while than we do right now."
Garnet worked his way around to the back of the barn and opened the door just enough to slip in. Fingers of light were beginning to show through the cracks as dawn progressed. He didn't have much time left. He ran to the front of the barn and opened those doors a crack, not enough for anyone to notice that they were open but enough for him to see and shoot. Now all he had to do was wait. Sarratt should be working his way toward the spot where Garnet had been when he'd yelled.
Garnet grinned. Just a few minutes. A few more minutes, and he'd have everything he'd ever wanted.
"Looking for me?"
The words were accompanied by the unmistakable click of a pistol being cocked. Garnet froze, sweat popping out on his brow despite the cold. He didn't dare turn around. Terror ripped through him as he realized that he was going to die. He had shot others with no more feeling than he'd have burst a melon, but the thought of his own death was paralyzing.
"You might as well turn around," Jake said softly. "I'm going to kill you either way. At least if you turn you'll have a chance to get a shot off at me, too."
The gun trembled in Garnet's hand. He'd die as soon as he turned, but he believed Sarratt when he said he'd kill him anyway.
"You should've kept going," Jake murmured. "As far and as fast from the kingdom as you could get."
"You'd have hunted me down," Garnet gasped. "And the girl---I wanted the girl."
Celia. Beautiful little Celia. Jake's mouth tightened with pain. "You'll never have her now," he said.
Garnet threw himself to the side, turning and firing as he did. Jake was prepared for that and had positioned himself behind a bale of hay. Only his head and gun were exposed. He was calm as he fired, the first bullet hitting Garnet in the stomach, the second in the chest. Garnet crashed against the wall, his finger tightening reflexively on the trigger and getting off a shot that went through the ceiling before the heavy gun dropped from his hand.
Jake kicked the gun out of reach, just in case. The only way he'd trust Garnet was dead.
Garnet's eyes were open, his throat working convulsively as he tried to breathe. Red foam bubbled out of his mouth. Jake watched as his chest heaved up and down a few times, then stopped completely. Garnet's eyes glazed over.
There had been a lot of death on this ranch. Jake sighed, suddenly tired of it, but he automatically reloaded his pistol. It was quiet outside, he realized. Maybe it was over. He had to get back to Victoria.
"Boss? You all right?"
It was Lonny. Jake called, "Yeah."
"You better get back to the smithy. Luis says the baby's coming."
Jake had been frightened before; he'd been anxious, worried, tense; but now he felt pure terror. Victoria couldn't give birth like this, lying in a cold smithy, without blankets or anything. He ran, not even noticing the gun still in his hand.
Ben was propped up against the anvil now, shirtless, but someone had given him a coat. He was pale, but a quick glance reassured Jake that the bleeding had stopped. The forge was going full blast, giving off great waves of heat that fought off the chill in the open shed. Luis lighted a lantern and handed it to the back of the shed, which had been partitioned off by several skirts that were hung over a rope strung from side to side. Jake brushed past the skirts and knelt on the ground beside his wife.
Emma, Carmita, and Juana were all in their nightgowns, having sacrificed the clothing they had hurriedly donned over their nightwear for the makeshift curtain. Victoria's nightgown was rucked up to her waist, her knees bent and raised. Jake knelt beside her, his heart in his throat as he stroked her damp hair back from her face with dirty, trembling fingers. Her eyes were closed, her face paper white as she breathed in quick, jerky pants.
Carmita glanced up at him, her dark eyes worried. "Soon, Seüor Jake. I can see the head."
Victoria's eyes opened. They were glazed, but fastened on him like a talisman. She reached up over her head, and Jake caught her hand in his.
"Hold on, love," he whispered. He was frozen with fear. He had brought her to this, endangered her life, reduced her to giving birth in the dirt like an animal, his sweet lady Victoria. He should never have married her, he should have sent her back East, where she could have had the sort of life she'd been born for, a life of comfort and gentility.
Her hand clamped down on his, and her teeth clenched. A low, raw sound built up in her throat, then erupted in an animal scream of pain, followed by another, and another. Her entire body was convulsing, bearing down, and her shoulders left the ground.
With a gush of blood and water, a slippery little body slid out into Carmita's waiting hands. The baby looked purplish and another sort of agony punched Jake in the chest as he stared wordlessly at the silent infant. Then Carmita thumped it on the back and a tiny, choking cry erupted that began building into a wail. She turned the baby, and Jake saw that it was a boy. Tightly clenched little hands jerked as his son expressed his upset at this unfamiliar new world.
Unbelievably, Victoria laughed, a tired, weak sound. "Well, he definitely resembles you," she said.
Jake looked at her in bewilderment, wondering how she could see any resemblance to anyone in the squalling, red, wrinkled scrap, still covered with the blood of his birth. Maybe in the dark hair, but it was wet and might not be so dark when it was dry.
She pulled him down to her, her eyes alight with mischief. Putting her lips against his ear, she whispered, "He's very definitely a male."
Then Jake understood what she meant. He looked at the naked baby and for the first time in his life, a blush reddened his cheeks.
She held out her arms for the baby. "Let me have him. He must be cold."
Carmita cut and tied the cord. The baby was quickly wrapped in someone else's shirt (everyone seemed to be giving up their clothing for the occasion) and placed in Victoria's arms. The baby stopped crying, slowly blinking his unfocused eyes as he responded to the warmth of being held by his mother.
Jake put his arms around both of them, resting his grimy cheek against Victoria's hair. "I love you," he said hoarsely. She was all that was good and strong and gentle in his life. Her hold on him had shattered the core of hatred that he had fed off of for so long.
Victoria tilted her head back, her shadowed blue eyes meeting his green ones. "I love you, too," she replied simply.
"I meant to give you better than this. We don't even have a house to live in now."
"I don't care." She was tired and leaned more heavily against him. "I'm glad the house burned. There was too much hatred locked in it, too much death. I didn't want all of that for him." She looked at her son and gently touched his downy cheek with a finger. He turned his head toward the touch, his rosebud mouth working.
"I can start over," Jake promised. "I'll build another house for you, if you'll stay with me. God, honey, don't leave me. You might as well shoot me if you're going to leave, because I love you so much I won't be any good without you."
He'd never before told her he loved her, never before looked at her with that expression in his eyes, so desperate and haunted and... and afraid. She couldn't imagine Jake Sarratt being afraid of anything, but it was there in his eyes that no longer looked cold to her at all.
It changed everything, his love. The hate was gone, and with it her reason for ever leaving.
"All right," she said, reaching tiredly for his hand. "You build your own kingdom and forget about the past, about that other Sarratt's Kingdom. It's really gone now, and we can start fresh."
Emma knelt beside Ben to check his leg. He grinned at her. "Do I have a niece or a nephew?"
"Nephew." She looked down, her face getting hot as she fumbled with his bandage. "And maybe a son of your own," she mumbled.
"What?" He stared at her in shock. "What?" he asked louder, sitting up straight.
"Hush!" she hissed at him.
He grabbed her arms, holding her still. "Are you sure?" he asked.
"It's possible. I'm not certain yet." She was just a little late, and her system had never been as reliable as Victoria's. But the possibility was there. She had spent too many nights in Ben's bed for her to think otherwise.
He began laughing and pulled her down for a hard kiss. "Emma girl, I haven't been able to think straight since I met you, and things aren't getting any better. I think we'd better get married, don't you?"
"Because I might be---?"
"No, because we love each other and we'll probably have a houseful of kids, so it would make things simpler if we were married."
Emma's dark eyes began to glow. "Ben Sarratt, I do love you."
"That's a yes?"
She nodded. "That's a yes."
Jake sat on the ground, holding Victoria propped in his arms. Unbelievably, she was sleeping and so was the baby. He looked at his son, all red and wrinkled and completely helpless, dependent on him for protection and food and everything else in life. He had to think about the future now, and his future was Victoria and the baby, as well as other babies that might come. The morning carried the stink of smoke and gunpowder, but the snow had stopped and the sun was trying to break through and shine on the new layer of white. There was something else new, something inside him, new and good. The future loomed before him, and he felt good about it.
He had Victoria, their baby was fat and healthy, and together they could build a life of their own without the taint of the past. The territory would see a new Sarratt's Kingdom, the one he and Ben would build, but this one would be as fresh as the snow that lay on the high valley.

