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England, 1066
He never knew what hit him.
One minute Baron Royce was wiping the sweat from his forehead with the back of his leather-covered arm, and the next he was flat on his back on the ground.
She had knocked him off his feet. Literally. She'd waited until he took his helmet off. Then she'd swung the narrow strip of leather in a circle high above her head. The small stone nestled in the center of her makeshift sling had gathered speed until it wasn't visible to the naked eye. The sound as the leather sliced through the air was like that of a disgruntled beast, half snarl, half whistle. Her prey had been too far away to hear the noise, though, for she stood in the frigid morning shadows of the walkway at the top of the wall, and he stood down below, nearly fifty feet away by her measure, at the base of the wooden drawbridge.
The giant Norman had made an easy target. The fact that he was also the leader of the infidels who were out to steal her family's holding had sweetened her concentration, too. In her mind, the giant had become Goliath.
And she was his David.
But unlike the saintly hero of ancient stories, she hadn't meant to kill her adversary. She would have aimed for the side of his temple if that had been her goal. No, she had wanted only to stun him. For that reason, she'd chosen his forehead. God willing, she'd given him a mark to carry for the rest of his days, a reminder, she hoped, of the atrocity he'd committed on this dark day of victory.
The Normans were winning this battle. In another hour or two they would breach the inner sanctuary.
It was inevitable, she knew. Her Saxon soldiers were hopelessly outnumbered now. Retreat was the only logical alternative. Yes, it was inevitable, but damn galling, too.
This Norman giant was the fourth challenger the bastard William of Normandy had sent to take her holding in the past three weeks.
The first three had fought like boys. She and her brother's men had easily chased them away.
This one was different. He wouldn't be chased. It had soon became apparent that he was more seasoned than his predecessors. He was certainly more cunning. The soldiers under his command were as inexperienced as the ones who'd come before, but this newest leader kept them well disciplined and at their task hour after relentless hour.
Victory would go to the hated Normans by the end of the day.
Their leader would be dizzy with his success, however. She would see to it.
She had smiled when she dispatched her stone.
Baron Royce had left his mount to pull one of his soldiers out of the moat surrounding the holding. The foolish soldier had lost his footing and fallen head first into the deep water. Because of his heavy armor, he couldn't catch his balance and was sinking to the bottom. Royce reached down with one hand, caught hold of a booted foot, and lifted the young soldier out of the murky depths. With a flick of his wrist, he tossed the vassal onto the grassy bank. The racking coughs coming from the lad had told Royce he didn't need further assistance. The boy was still breathing. Royce had paused to remove his own helmet, and was just wiping the sweat from his brow when the stone had found its mark.
Royce was thrown backwards. He landed a fair distance away from his stallion. He didn't sleep long. Dust still clouded the air around him when he opened his eyes. His soldiers were running toward him to offer assistance.
He declined their help. He sat up, shook his head in an attempt to rid himself of the pain and fog that confused him. For a minute or two, he couldn't even remember where the hell he was. Blood trickled from a cut high on his forehead, above his right eye. He prodded around the edges of the injury and only then realized a fair chunk of flesh had been torn away.
He still didn't understand what had hit him. From the size of the jagged wound, he knew an arrow couldn't have done the damage. But damn it all, his head seemed to be on fire.
Royce pushed his pain aside and concentrated on standing up. Fury came to his aid. By God, he would find the bastard who'd done this to him and give him equal measure.
That thought cheered him considerably.
His squire stood holding the reins of his mount. Royce swung himself up into the saddle and turned his attention to the top of the wall that surrounded the holding. Had his enemy aimed at him from that spot? The distance was too great for him to see even a glimpse of a threat.
He put his helmet back on.
Looking around, he saw that in the ten or fifteen minutes that had passed since he'd taken the blow, his soldiers had seemingly forgotten everything he'd taught them.
Ingelram, his temporary second-in-command, had the full contingent of men fighting in a unit near the south side of the fortress. Arrows rained down on them from the top of the wall, making advance impossible.
Royce was appalled by their ineptness. The soldiers held their shields up above their heads to ward off the arrows, and they were fighting a defensive battle again. They were in the exact position he'd found them in when he'd joined them for this nuisance duty this morning.
Royce let out a long sigh, then took command again.
He immediately changed tactics to prevent them from losing the ground they'd already secured. He pulled ten of his most reliable soldiers away from the wall and went with them to the small rise above the holding. With one of his own arrows he killed a Saxon soldier who was standing on top of the wall before his men had even had time to secure their own sightings. Then he allowed them to take over the task. In little time at all, the Saxon walls were once again unprotected.
Five of Royce's men climbed the walls and cut the ropes to the bridge, lowering it. God help him, he'd actually had to remind one of the eager volunteers to take his sword with him.
Royce rode first across the wooden planks of the drawbridge, his sword drawn, though there really wasn't any need. Both the lower bailey and the upper one were completely deserted.
They made a thorough search of the huts and outer buildings and discovered not a single Saxon soldier. It became clear to Royce that the enemy had left their holding by a secret passage. Royce ordered half his men to search the walls for such an opening. He would seal it the minute they located it.
The Normans secured the holding in William's name a few minutes later when they hoisted the duke of Normandy's banner, displaying his magnificent colors, onto the pole atop the wall. The castle now belonged to the Normans.
Yet Royce had completed only half of his duties. He still had to collect the prize and take her to London.
Aye, it was time to capture Lady Nicholaa.
A search of the living quarters of the keep produced a handful of servants, who were dragged outside and pushed into a tight circle in the courtyard.
Ingelram, as tall as Royce was, though he lacked the bulk and battle scars, held one Saxon servant by the back of his tunic. The servant was an elderly man with thin, graying hair and puckered skin.
Royce hadn't had time to dismount before Ingelram blurted out, "This one's the steward, Baron. His name's Hacon. He's the one who told Gregory all about the family."
"I didn't talk to any Normans," Hacon protested. "I don't even know anyone named Gregory. God strike me dead if that ain't the truth," he added boldly.
The "faithful" servant was lying, and he was feeling quite proud of himself for possessing such courage in the face of dire circumstances. The old man still hadn't looked up at the Norman leader, though, but kept his attention on the overly eager blond knight who was trying to tear his tunic off his back.
"Aye, you did talk to Gregory," Ingelram countered. "He was the first knight to take on the challenge of securing this holding and capturing the prize. It won't do you any good to lie, old man."
"He be the one who left with the arrow in his backside?" Hacon asked.
Ingelram glared at the servant for mentioning Gregory's humiliation. He forced Hacon to turn around. The servant's breath caught in the back of his throat when he finally looked up at the Norman leader. He had to tilt his head all the way back in order to get a decent look at the giant, who was covered in leather and steel links. Hacon squinted against the streamers of sunlight that reflected off the armor and into his eyes. Neither the warrior nor his magnificent black stallion moved, and for a brief minute, the steward imagined that he was looking at a grand statue made of stone.
Hacon held on to his composure until the Norman removed his helmet.
He almost lost his supper then and there. The barbarian terrified him. Hacon felt sick with the need to cry out for mercy. The look in the Norman's cold gray eyes was frigid with determination, and Hacon was sure he was about to die. Yes, he'll kill me, Hacon thought. He said a quick Pater Noster. It would be an honorable death, he decided, because he was determined to help his gentle mistress until the very end. Surely God would welcome him to heaven for protecting an innocent.
Royce stared down at the trembling servant a long while. Then he tossed his helmet to his waiting squire, dismounted, and handed the reins to a soldier. The stallion reared up, but one hard command from his master stopped his budding tantrum.
Hacon's knees went limp. He fell to the ground. Ingelram reached down and hauled him back up to his feet. "One of the twins is inside the keep, abovestairs, Baron," Ingelram announced. "She prays in the chapel."
Hacon took a deep breath, then blurted out, "The church was burned to the ground when last we were under siege." His voice sounded like a strangled whisper. "As soon as Sister Danielle arrived from the abbey, she ordered the altar moved to one of the chambers inside the keep."
"Danielle's the nun," Ingelram volunteered. "It just as we heard, Baron. They're twins, they are. One's a saint, bent on serving the world, and the other's a sinner, bent on giving us trouble."
Royce still hadn't said a word. He continued to stare down at the servant. Hacon couldn't look up into the leader's eyes very long. He turned his gaze to the ground, clasped his hands together, and whispered, "Sister Danielle's been caught in this war betwixt the Saxons and the Normans. She's an innocent and wishes only to return to the abbey."
"I want the other one."
The baron's voice was soft, chilling. Hacon's stomach lurched again.
"He's wanting the other twin," Ingelram shouted. He started to say more, then caught his baron's hard stare and decided to close his mouth instead.
"The other twin's name is Nicholaa," Hacon said. He took another deep breath before adding, "She left, Baron."
Royce didn't show any reaction to this news. Ingelram, on the other hand, couldn't contain his disappointment. "How could she have left?" he demanded in another shout as he shoved the old man back to his knees.
"There are many secret passages built into the thick walls of the keep," Hacon confessed. "Didn't you notice there weren't any Saxon soldiers here when you crossed over the drawbridge? Mistress Nicholaa left with her brother's men near to an hour past."
Ingelram bellowed in frustration. In a bid to ease his anger, he shoved the servant again.
Royce took a step forward, his stare directed at his vassal. "You do not show me your strength when you mistreat a defenseless old man, Ingelram, nor do you show me your ability to control your enthusiasm when you interfere with my questioning."
The vassal was properly humiliated. He bowed his head to his baron, then helped the Saxon to his feet.
Royce waited until the young soldier had taken a step away from the servant. He then looked at Hacon again. "How long have you served this household?"
"Near to twenty years now," Hacon answered. There was pride in his voice when he added, "I've always been treated fair, Baron. They made me feel as important as one of their own."
"Yet after twenty years of fair treatment you betray your mistresses now?" He shook his head in disgust.
"You won't give me your pledge of loyalty, Hacon, for your word isn't trustworthy."
Royce didn't waste another minute on the steward. His stride was determined as he made his way to the doors of the keep. He pushed his eager men out of his path and went inside.
Hacon was motioned into the cluster of servants and left to worry about his fate when Ingelram rushed after his lord.
Royce was methodical in his search. The first floor of the keep was cluttered with rubble. Litter covered the old rushes. The long table near the far corner had been overturned, and most of the stools had been destroyed.
The staircase leading to the chambers abovestairs was still intact, though just barely. The wooden steps were slippery with water dripping down from the walls. It was a dangerously narrow climb. Most of the banister had been torn away and dangled over the side, and if a man lost his footing, there was nothing to prevent him from falling.
The landing on the second level was just as pitiful. Wind howled through a gaping man-sized hole in the center of the far wall. The air was bitter from the cold winter wind blowing in from outside. A long, dark corridor led away from the head of the stairs.
As soon as Royce reached the landing, Ingelram rushed ahead of him and awkwardly drew his sword. The vassal obviously meant to protect his lord. The floorboards were just as wet and slippery as the steps, however. Ingelram lost both his sword and his balance and went flying toward the gaping hole.
Royce caught him by the nape of the neck and sent him flying in the opposite direction. The vassal landed with a thud against the inside wall, shook himself like a wet dog to rid himself of the shivers, then picked up his sword and went chasing after his lord again.
Royce shook his head in exasperation at his inept vassal's puny attempt to protect him. He didn't bother to draw his own sword as he started down the hallway. When he reached the first chamber and found the door barred against him, he simply kicked it open, ducked under the low lintel, and went inside.
The room was a bedchamber in which six candles were burning. It was unoccupied save for a serving girl who cowered in a corner.
"Who resides in this chamber?" Royce demanded.
"Mistress Nicholaa," came the whispered reply.
Royce took his time studying the room. He was mildly surprised at how Spartan and orderly the chamber was. He didn't realize women could live without a clutter of possessions surrounding them. His experience was limited to his three sisters, of course, but that was quite enough to allow him to draw such a conclusion. Still, Lady Nicholaa's room didn't have a bit of clutter. A large bed stood against one wall, its burgundy draperies tied back. The hearth was on the opposite wall. A single low-fashioned chest made of fine, burnish red wood stood in a corner.
There wasn't a single article of clothing hanging from the hooks to give Royce any idea of the woman's size. He turned to leave the chamber, but found his path blocked by his vassal. A glare quickly removed the obstacle.
The second door was also barred from inside. Royce was about to kick it out of his way when he heard the sound of the latch being removed.
The door was opened by a young serving girl. Freckles and fear covered her face. She tried to curtsy to him but only half completed the formal greeting when she got a true look at his face. She let out a cry and went running across the large chamber.
The room was alight with candles. A wooden altar covered with a white cloth stood in front of the hearth. On the floor in front of the altar were several leather-padded kneelers.
He saw the nun at once. She was kneeling, her head bowed in prayer, her hands folded below the cross she wore on a thin leather thong around her neck.
She was dressed in white, from the long veil covering her hair to her white shoes. Royce stood inside the doorway and waited for her to acknowledge him. Because there was no chalice on the altar, he didn't genuflect.
The serving girl timidly touched the nun's slender shoulder, bent down, and whispered in her ear. "Sister Danielle, the Norman leader has arrived. Do we surrender now?"
That question seemed so ridiculous that Royce almost smiled. He motioned to Ingelram to replace his sword, then walked farther into the room. Two servants stood together near the fur-covered window across the room. One held a baby in her arms. The infant was diligently chewing on his fists.
Royce's attention returned to the nun. He could only see her profile from his position. She finally made the sign of the cross, a signal her prayers were finished, then gracefully gained her feet. As soon as she stood up, the baby let out a lusty cry and reached out to her.
The nun motioned the dark-haired servant forward and took the baby into her arms. She kissed the top of his head and turned to walk toward Royce.
He still hadn't gotten a good look at her face because she kept her head bowed, but he found himself pleasantly affected by her gentle manners and her whisper-soft voice as she crooned to the baby. The infant's head was covered with a sprinkling of white-blond hair that literally stood up on end, giving him a comical look. The baby cuddled contentedly against the nun and continued to suckle on his fists. He made loud, slurping sounds, interrupted only by an occasional yawn.
Danielle stopped when she was just a foot or two away from Royce. The top of her head only reached his shoulders, and he was thinking to himself how very fragile and vulnerable she appeared to be.
Then she lifted her gaze and stared into his eyes, and he couldn't seem to think at all.
She was exquisite. God's truth, she had the face of an angel. Her skin was flawless. Her eyes fascinated him. They were the most appealing shade of blue. Royce imagined that he was looking at a goddess who'd come to earth just to tantalize him. Her light brown eyebrows were perfectly sculptured into soft arches, her nose was wonderfully straight, and her mouth was full, rosy, and damned appealing.
Royce found himself physically reacting to the woman and was immediately disgusted with himself. His sudden lack of discipline was appalling to him. The indrawn breath he heard told him Ingelram was experiencing the same reaction to the beautiful woman. Royce turned to glare at his vassal before looking at the nun again.
Danielle was a bride of the sacred church, for God's sake, and not booty to be lusted after. Like his overlord, William of Normandy, Royce honored the church and protected the clergy whenever possible.
He let out a long sigh. "Who does this child belong to?" he asked in an attempt to regain his unholy thoughts about the woman.
"The baby belongs to Clarise," she answered in a husky voice he found incredibly arousing. She motioned to the dark-haired servant in the shadows. The woman immediately took a step forward. "Clarise has been a faithful servant for many years. Her son's name is Ulric."
She looked down at the infant and saw that he was gnawing on her cross. She removed it before looking back up at Royce.
They stared at each other a long silent minute. She began to rub Ulric's shoulders in a circular motion, but kept her gaze fully directed on Royce.
She showed absolutely no fear in her expression, and she'd given the long sickle-shaped scar on his cheek little notice. Royce was a bit unsettled by that---he was used to quite a different reaction when women first saw his face. The disfigurement didn't seem to bother the nun, though. That pleased him considerably.
"Ulric's eyes are the same color as yours," Royce remarked.
That wasn't exactly true, he realized. The baby's eyes were a pretty blue. Danielle's were beautiful.
"Many Saxons have blue eyes," she replied. "Ulric will be eight months old in less than a week. Will he live that long, Norman?"
Because she asked the question in such a gentle, undemanding voice, Royce didn't take offense. "We Normans don't kill innocent children," he replied.
She nodded, then honored him with a smile. His heart started pounding in reaction. She had an enchanting dimple in her cheek, and, Lord, how her eyes could bewitch him. They weren't blue, he decided. They were violet, the identical shade of the fragile flower he'd once seen.
He really needed to get hold of his thoughts, he told himself. He was acting like a besotted squire. He was feeling just as awkward, too.
Royce was too old for such feelings. "How is it you've learned to speak our language so well?" he asked. His voice had gone hoarse.
She didn't seem to notice. "One of my brothers went with Harold, our Saxon king, to Normandy six years ago," she answered. "When he returned, he insisted we all conquer this language."
Ingelram moved to stand next to his baron. "Does your twin sister look like you?" he blurted out.
The nun turned to look at the soldier. She seemed to be taking his measure. Her stare was intense, unwavering. Ingelram, Royce noticed, turned bright red under her close scrutiny and couldn't hold her gaze long.
"Nicholaa and I are very much alike in appearance," she finally answered. "Most people cannot tell us apart. Our dispositions, however, are vastly different. I've an accepting nature, but my sister certainly doesn't. She has vowed to die before surrendering to England's invaders. Nicholaa believes it's only a matter of time before you Normans give up and go back home. 'Tis the truth, I fear for my sister's safety."
"Do you know where Lady Nicholaa went?" Ingelram asked. "My baron has need to know."
"Yes," she answered. She kept her gaze on the vassal. "If your baron will give me his assurance that no harm will come to my sister, I'll tell you her destination."
Ingelram let out a loud snort. "We Normans don't kill women. We tame them."
Royce felt like tossing his vassal out the doorway when he heard that arrogant boast. He noticed the nun didn't much care for the remark, either. Her expression turned mutinous, though only for a fleeting second. The flash of anger was quickly gone, too, replaced by a look of serenity.
His guard was suddenly up, and though he couldn't give a reason for his suspicions, he knew something was amiss.
"No harm will come to your sister," Royce said.
She looked relieved. Royce decided then her anger had been a reaction to her fear for her sister.
"Aye," Ingelram interjected with great enthusiasm. "Nicholaa is the king's prize."
"The king's prize?"
She was having difficulty hiding her anger now. Her face became flushed. Her voice, however, remained calm. "I don't understand what you mean. King Harold is dead."
"Your Saxon king is dead," Ingelram explained, "but duke William of Normandy is on his way to London even now and will soon be anointed king of all England. We have orders to take Nicholaa to London as soon as possible."
"For what purpose?" she asked.
"Your sister is the king's prize. He intends to award her to a noble knight." Ingelram's voice was filled with pride when he added, "That is an honor."
She shook her head. "You've still to explain why my sister is to become the king's prize," she whispered. "How would your William even know about Nicholaa?"
Royce wasn't about to let Ingelram enlighten the nun. The truth would only upset the gentlewoman. He shoved his vassal toward the doorway. "You have my word no harm will come to your sister," he promised Danielle again. "Now tell me her destination. You have no understanding of the dangers outside these walls. It's only a matter of time before she's captured, and there are, unfortunately, a few Normans who won't treat her kindly."
He'd softened the truth for the innocent woman, of course. He saw no reason to explain in detail the atrocities her twin would be subjected to if she was caught by ill-disciplined soldiers. He wanted to protect the nun from the harsh realities of life, to shelter her innocence from worldly sins, but if she refused to give him the information he needed, he would have to be more blunt with her.
"Will you give me your word you'll go after Nicholaa yourself? You won't give the duty to someone else?"
"It's important to you that I go?"
She nodded.
"Then I'll give you my word," he said. "Although I wonder why it matters to you if I go or send someone---"
"I believe you'll act with honor toward my sister," she interrupted. "You have already given me your word no harm will come to Nicholaa." She smiled again. "You would not have attained such a powerful position if you habitually broke your word. Besides, you're considerably older than the soldiers under your command, or so I was told by one of the servants. I believe you've learned patience and restraint by now. You'll need both to capture Nicholaa, for she can be very difficult when she's riled. She's clever, too."
Before Royce could respond to those comments, Danielle turned and walked over to the two women standing by the window. She handed the baby to the woman called Clarise, then whispered instructions to the other servant.
She turned back to Royce. "I shall give you my sister's destination after I've seen to your injury," she announced. "You've a fair-sized cut on your forehead, Baron. I'll clean and bandage it. Do sit down. It should only take a minute or two of your time."
Royce was so surprised by her thoughtfulness and her kindness that he didn't know how to react. He started to shake his head, then changed his mind. He finally sat down. Ingelram stood in the doorway, watching. The servant placed a bowl of water on the low chest next to the stool on which Royce sat while Danielle collected several strips of clean white cloth.
The baron swallowed up the stool. His long legs were stretched out in front of him. Danielle skirted her way between his feet and stood between his thighs.
He noticed her hands shook when she dipped the cloth into the water. She didn't say a word to him while she saw to his care, but when the injury was cleaned to her satisfaction and she was applying soothing salve, she asked him how he'd come by the wound.
"A stone perhaps," he answered with a shrug. "It isn't significant."
Her smile was gentle. "I think perhaps it was significant at the time. Why, the blow must have left you stunned, at the very least."
He was barely paying attention to what she was saying. Damn, she smelled good. He couldn't seem to concentrate on anything but the beautiful woman standing so close to him. The faint scent of roses caught his attention. So did the cross nestled between her breasts. He stared at the holy article until he was able to control his reaction to her. The minute she stepped back, he stood up.
"My sister went to Baron Alfred's holding," she told him. "His home is just three hours north of here. Alfred has vowed to resist the Normans, and Nicholaa plans to add our brother's loyal soldiers to his fight."
A shout came from the doorway, interrupting the conversation. One of Royce's soldiers was requesting his attention. "Stay with her," Royce ordered Ingelram.
The warrior was already out the doorway when the vassal's fervent reply reached him. "I'll protect her with my life, Baron. As God is my witness, no one will touch her."
Royce's sigh echoed down the hallway. God save me from eager young knights, he thought to himself. If he hadn't been blessed with such a patient nature, he knew he would have slammed Ingelram's ignorant head through a wall by now. He'd imagined doing just that several times in the last hour.
Another young soldier was waiting for Royce at the top of the steps. "There's a battle raging even now, Baron, to the south of the fortress. From the walkway atop the wall we can see that the Saxon dogs have our Norman soldiers surrounded. The colors of the banner tell us the small contingent belongs to Baron Hugh. Do we ride to give him assistance?"
Royce left the keep and climbed up to the walkway to judge the situation for himself. The soldier who'd reported the battle trailed behind him. He was, unfortunately, just as unskilled as Ingelram and as hopelessly enthusiastic as well. It was a dangerous combination.
"Do you see how the Saxons have our soldiers in retreat, Baron?" the soldier asked.
Royce shook his head. "You look, but you don't see," he muttered. "Hugh's men use the same tactic we employed in our battle near Hastings. Our soldiers are drawing the Saxons into a trap."
"But the odds are surely in the Saxons' favor. Their numbers are thrice---"
"The numbers aren't in the least significant," Royce countered. He let out a weary sigh, reminded himself he was a patient man, and then turned to look at the dark-haired soldier. "How long have you been in my ranks?"
"Nearly eight weeks now."
Royce's irritation immediately vanished. There hadn't been time for training, what with all the preparations needed for the invasion of England. "You're excused for your ignorance," he announced. He started toward the steps. "We'll give Hugh's men assistance, but only because of our love of a good battle, not because they need our help. Norman soldiers are vastly superior in any fight, and Hugh's men will most assuredly claim victory with or without our help."
The young soldier nodded, then asked if he could go into battle by his baron's side. Royce granted his request. He left twenty soldiers at the holding and rode out with the remaining men. Since there were only women, children, and servants inside the walls, he decided Ingelram could easily maintain order until he returned.
The fight was invigorating, though too quickly finished, in Royce's estimation. Because he was a cynical man, he thought it odd indeed that as soon as he and his soldiers joined the battle, the Saxons, with still at least double the number of soldiers, scattered like mountain wolves into the hills. Had the battle been staged to draw him out? Royce, weary from too little sleep, decided he was arrogantly overly concerned about the Saxons' retreat. He and his men spent another hour ferreting out infidels from their dens before giving up the chase.
Royce was surprised to find that Hugh, a friend and equal in rank under William's command, was leading the contingent, for he assumed Hugh would be fighting by their leader's side on the final sweep into London. When he put that question to the warrior, Hugh explained he'd been dispatched to the north to subdue the faction there. He had been on his way back to London when the Saxons attacked him.
Hugh was a good ten years older than Royce. Gray stained his brown hair, and the faded scars on his face and arms made Royce look almost unblemished.
"I have only lesser-skilled soldiers in my unit," Hugh confessed in a bleak voice. "The more experienced were sent ahead to William. I tell you, Royce, I don't have your patience for training men. Had it not been for our informant's warning, I believe I would have lost most of my men just now. The Saxon spy put us on our guard at just the right moment, and for that reason the ambush wasn't nearly as effective as it might have been. My soldiers are still without discipline." Hugh leaned forward and, in a voice usually reserved for the confessional, whispered, "Two of my men have misplaced their swords, I tell you. Can you believe such a sin? I should kill the fools now and be saved the aggravation." He let out a long sigh. "With your permission, I'll ask William to place a few of my boy warriors in your ranks for proper training."
The two barons, surrounded by their troops, started back toward the holding.
"Who is this informant you mentioned?" Royce asked. "And why do you trust him?"
"The man's name is James, and I haven't said I trust him," Hugh answered. "He has proved to be reliable thus far, that's all. He tells me he's hated by the other Saxons because he was given the unholy chore of collecting the tax. James is very familiar with the families in this area. He was raised here, you see. He knows all the favorite hiding places, too. Has the wind not taken on a wicked bite this past hour, Royce?" Hugh asked then, switching topics as he pulled his heavy cloak around his shoulders. "My bones are feeling the rattle of winter now."
Royce barely noticed the cold. A fine mist of snow was swirling around them, but it wasn't sufficient to blanket the ground. "You have old bones, Hugh. That's the reason you feel the cold." He grinned at his friend to soften the insult.
Hugh smiled back. "Old, say you? You'll change your opinion when you hear about my astonishing victories against the Saxons."
The arrogant warrior then began to relate, detail by methodical detail, the series of victories he'd claimed in William's name. He didn't finish with his litany of boasts until they were in the courtyard of the castle.
Ingelram wasn't there to greet his lord, and Royce surmised the besotted vassal was still abovestairs, staring at the nun.
The mere reminder of the Saxon woman made him uneasy---something about her bothered Royce, but he couldn't quite put his finger on what it was.
Perhaps, he thought to himself, it was because she waited until Hugh was settled before answering. "Aye, my lord. The parents are both dead. They're buried in the family plot atop the crest to the north."
James's neck began to ache from having to tilt his head all the way back in order to look up at the Norman's face. When the crick became too irritating, he turned his gaze to the floor. The action proved a blessing, for the tightness in his chest immediately loosened once he wasn't looking directly at the warrior's face. The Norman's eyes were just as terrifying as the hideous scar covering most of his right cheek, James admitted. His hard, cold gaze was far more intimidating than his size or his marks.
"Now tell me about the other members of this family," Royce commanded.
James hurried to answer. "There are two brothers. Thurston is the eldest of the children. It was reported he died during the battle in the north. This hasn't been verified yet."
"And the other brother?"
"His name is Justin. He's the youngest in the family. He was injured in the same battle. The nuns are taking care of him now at the abbey. It isn't believed Justin will live, though. His injuries were quite severe."
Ingelram continued to stand by his leader's side. Royce suddenly turned to his vassal. "Did I not order you to bring the nun to me?" he demanded, still speaking Saxon.
Ingelram answered him in the same language. "I didn't know you meant to question her, Baron."
"It isn't your duty to know what I plan to do, Ingelram. You're to obey without question."
Ingelram took a deep breath. "She isn't here," he blurted out.
Royce resisted the urge to strangle his vassal. "Explain yourself," he ordered in a hard voice.
It took all the courage Ingelram possessed to meet his lord's stare. "Sister Danielle requested an escort back to the abbey. She'd given her word to her superiors she'd be back before dark. She was also most concerned about her brother. Because he's the youngest in the family, she feels great responsibility for him."
Throughout the halting explanation, Royce hadn't shown any reaction. Ingelram didn't have the faintest idea what his lord was thinking. The not knowing made his voice squeak when he continued. "The brother's injuries are life-threatening, Baron, and she wanted to sit by his side through the night. She promised me she'd return to us in the morning. Surely then she'll answer any questions you have for her."
Royce had to take a deep, calming breath before he dared to speak again. "And if she doesn't return to us in the morning?" he asked in a mild, thoroughly controlled voice.
Ingelram looked stunned by that question. He'd never considered such a dark possibility. "She gave me her word, Baron. She wouldn't lie to me. She couldn't. She's a bride of the church. It would be a mortal sin on her soul if she didn't tell the truth. If, for some reason, she cannot leave the abbey in the morning, I'll be happy to go inside and fetch her for you."
Royce was conditioned by years of training to control his temper. He did so now, though the urge to shout at the foolish vassal made his throat ache. The fact that the Saxon informant was in the hall did help somewhat, for Royce would never ever chastise one of his men in front of an outsider. It would be an indignity, and Royce always treated his men the way he expected to be treated. Respect was earned, not demanded, but dignity was taught by example.
Hugh cleared his throat, gaining Royce's full attention. The older warrior gave his friend a sympathetic look, then turned to Ingelram. "Son, you can't go inside the sacred walls to get her. The left hand of God would descend upon all of us if we dared to violate the most holy law of all."
"The holy law?" Ingelram stammered out, clearly not understanding.
Hugh rolled his eyes heavenward. "She's under the protection of the church now, son. You've just given her sanctuary."
Ingelram was finally beginning to understand the ramifications of his deed. He was horrified by his own conduct. He was also desperate to find a way to redeem himself in his lord's eyes. "But she promised me---"
"Be silent."
Royce hadn't raised his voice when he gave that command, but the Saxon informant jumped a good foot, for he'd gotten a glimpse of the fury in the warrior's gray eyes. He took several steps back in a puny attempt to separate himself from the Norman's wrath.
Royce was amused by the Saxon's cowardly retreat. The little man was literally shaking in his boots. "You've told me about the brothers, James," Royce said then, returning the conversation to the household. "Now tell me about the twin sisters. We were told that one is a nun and the other..."
He stopped when the Saxon shook his head. "There is no nun in this household," James blurted out. "There is Lady Nicholaa," he added in a rush when he saw how his explanation was affecting the Norman. The jagged scar on the warrior's face had turned stark white. "Lady Nicholaa is---"
Royce interrupted him. "We know about Lady Nicholaa," he said. "She's the one who defended her castle against us, isn't that correct?"
"Aye, my lord," James answered. "That is correct."
"Now I want to hear about the other twin. If she isn't a nun, then..."
The Saxon dared to shake his head at him again. James looked more perplexed than frightened now. "But my lord," he whispered, "there is only one. Lady Nicholaa does not have a twin."
Royce's reaction to the Saxon's announcement was swift and surprising. He threw back his head and laughed until tears filled his eyes. Lady Nicholaa's clever ploy to gain sanctuary astonished him. The woman had proved to be extremely resourceful, a trait he was quick to appreciate whenever he chanced upon it.
Nicholaa wasn't a nun. Relief swelled inside him. He didn't understand the reason for such a reaction, however, and quickly pushed the feeling aside. Then he started laughing again. By God, he hadn't lusted after a bride of the church after all.
Ingelram didn't know what to make of his lord's bizarre behavior. In the short while he'd been under the baron's command, he'd never even seen him smile. The vassal suddenly realized he'd never witnessed his leader accept defeat, either.
"Don't you understand, Baron?" Ingelram blurted out. "You've suffered a humiliation because of me. I believed her lies. I gave her escort to the abbey."
Ingelram boldly moved forward until he had placed himself within striking distance of his lord, then said in an anguished whisper, "I alone am to blame."
Royce raised an eyebrow over his vassal's dramatic confession. "We will discuss this later," he announced with a meaningful glance toward the Saxon.
When Ingelram bowed his head, Royce turned back to the tax collector. "Tell me what you know about Nicholaa," he ordered.
James lifted his shoulders in a helpless shrug. "I was run out of this area two and one half years ago, milord, when the task of collecting the tax was given to another man. I know that Nicholaa was supposed to marry a giant of a man named Roulf, who had a large holding to the south. She'd been pledged to him since childhood, and if the wedding took place as scheduled, she was married to him almost two full years before he was slain at Hastings. 'Tis all I know about Nicholaa, milord."
Royce made no comment on the information he'd just been given. He dismissed James, waited until he had left the hall, and then turned back to Ingelram. "In future, you will not parade your sins in front of outsiders. Do you understand me?"
Ingelram nodded. He looked properly horrified by the reprimand.
Royce let out a sigh. "When you act in my stead, Ingelram, your mistakes become mine. If you've learned anything from this incident, then the inconvenience you've caused me might all be for the good."
Ingelram was astonished by his lord's remarks. He'd never heard a defeat referred to as an inconvenience before. He didn't know how to respond.
Hugh captured Royce's attention when he interjected, "Lady Nicholaa has proved to be cunning, hasn't she, Royce? She certainly slipped out of your grasp... for the time being," he added with a nod in Ingelram's direction.
"Yes," Royce answered with a grin. "For the time being."
"'Tis the truth, I fell victim to her lies," Ingelram blurted out.
"Nay," Royce contradicted. "You fell prey to her beauty. Recognize the error for what it was so you won't repeat it."
The vassal slowly nodded. He took a deep breath while he removed his sword from his scabbard. His hands shook when he offered his father's bejeweled weapon to Royce. "I've failed you, Baron. Because of me, you've been shamed."
Ingelram closed his eyes in anticipation of the blow. A long agonizing minute passed before he opened them. Why was his leader hesitating? "You don't wish to retaliate, Baron?" he asked, confusion obvious in his gaze.
Royce let him see his exasperation. He turned to Hugh, caught his smile, and almost smiled himself. "What I wish to do and what I will do are two different things, Ingelram," he said. "In time you will understand. Why do you offer me your sword?"
Ingelram was caught off guard by the question. Baron Royce's voice had been so mild. Was it possible his lord wasn't overly displeased by his error in judgment? "I offer you my sword so that you may use it against me, if that is your inclination. Baron, I don't understand why you... I have disgraced you, haven't I?"
Royce ignored that question and asked one of his own. "Under whose command were you before you came into my ranks?"
"I was Baron Guy's squire for two years," Ingelram answered.
"And in all that time did you ever see Guy use a vassal's sword against him?"
Royce was prepared to hear a quick denial. He knew Guy sometimes used intimidating tactics when dealing with younger, inexperienced soldiers, a method that found little favor with Royce. There had even been whispers of true brutality, but he didn't pay any attention to such talk. He believed the stories were simply exaggerations spread by disgruntled men who hadn't been able to meet Baron Guy's rigid training requirements.
He couldn't hide his surprise when Ingelram nodded. "I did witness such retaliation. Baron Guy never killed a vassal, but several unfortunate soldiers later died from the punishment he inflicted. Their wounds became infected."
"Ingelram, that explains your peculiar behavior," Hugh interjected. He turned to Royce. "The boy's speaking the truth, Royce. Guy uses physical retaliation and humiliation to gain obedience and loyalty. Tell me this, Ingelram," Hugh continued with a glance in the vassal's direction. "Are the bastards Henry and Morgan still acting as Guy's right and left hands?"
Ingelram nodded again. "They are his closest advisers," he said. "When Baron Guy is occupied with more important matters, Henry and Morgan supervise the training of the men."
"And the punishment as well?" Hugh prodded.
"Yes," Ingelram answered. "The punishment as well."
"Morgan's worse than Henry," Hugh announced. "I've seen him fight. I hoped he would die during the invasion, but the Saxons didn't accommodate me. I suppose the devil's bent on keeping him alive."
Ingelram took a bold step forward. "May I speak freely?" he asked Royce.
"Isn't that what you've been doing?" his baron answered.
Ingelram blushed. Royce suddenly felt like an old man. He was a good twelve years older than the vassal, but the differences in their reactions made it seem more like twenty. "What else did you wish to say, Ingelram?"
"Most of the soldiers are obedient to Guy, but they aren't loyal, as Baron Hugh supposed. They fear him and do his bidding for that reason alone. There's no loyalty, save to Duke William, of course."
Royce showed no outward reaction to the startling news about Guy. He leaned back against the mantel of the fireplace and folded his arms across his chest. He looked very relaxed. Inside he was furious. A man of such status should be a protector by nature, Royce believed, with values stronger than those of his men. It sounded as though Guy had become a destroyer.
"Ingelram?" Hugh asked. "Did you request this move into Royce's ranks?"
A noticeable wheeze had entered Hugh's voice. He leaned back in his chair to ease his weariness and rubbed his whiskered jaw while he waited for an answer.
"I did request the move," Ingelram answered. "In truth, I held little hope I would be considered, though. The list of soldiers begging entrance into Baron Royce's army numbers over a thousand. My father was able to sway William's mind, however, and my name was lifted to the top of the list. I was very fortunate."
Hugh shook his head. "I still don't understand how you managed it, with or without William's blessing. First you had to gain Guy's permission to request this transfer. 'Tis a fact Guy isn't known for granting requests, especially those that might benefit Royce. Guy's been in competition with Royce ever since their squire days together."
Hugh paused to let out a low chuckle. "I almost pity Guy. He always comes in second best. I think it's making him crazed."
Royce was watching Ingelram. The vassal's face had turned bright red. When Ingelram realized his lord was staring at him, he blurted out, "Baron Guy isn't your friend. He's filled with jealousy. You always best him."
"But why did he grant you this transfer?" Hugh prodded, wishing to get to the bottom of this puzzle.
Ingelram's gaze turned to the tops of his boots. "He didn't see my transfer as a favor to Baron Royce. Quite the opposite, in fact. Both Henry and Morgan had a good laugh over their lord's cunning decision. They all believe I'll never be a fit knight."
"Why would Guy consider you unfit?" Royce asked.
If Ingelram turned any redder, Royce thought, he might burst into flames. He held his patience and waited for the soldier to answer him.
"I'm weakhearted," Ingelram confessed. "Baron Guy said I wasn't strong-willed enough for his unit. Now you have the truth, and Baron Guy has been proven correct. My weakness caused your defeat."
Royce felt like growling. "We're not defeated," he snapped. "For God's sake, put your sword away. You haven't even begun your training, and for that reason I do not fault you. If, however, after six months under my direction, you should make a similar misjudgment, I'll take your throat between my hands and try to strangle some sense into you. Do you understand?"
Royce's voice had taken on a hard edge. Ingelram nodded vigorously. "I shall willingly give you my neck if I fail you again," he vowed dramatically. "No other defeat will I---"
"For the love of God, will you cease calling this minor inconvenience a defeat?" Royce demanded. "Lady Nicholaa has only delayed me; she hasn't eluded me. When I'm ready to leave for London, I'll go to the abbey, and I won't have to go inside, Ingelram. She'll come out to me."
He took a threatening step toward his vassal. "Do you doubt me?"
"Nay, my lord."
Royce nodded. He didn't explain how he planned to accomplish this feat, and Ingelram knew better than to ask. The topic was duly dismissed.
Soon, however, Royce was forced to put the matter of collecting Nicholaa on the bottom of his list of duties. Hugh was far more ill than anyone realized. By the following morning the warrior was burning with fever.
Royce stayed by his friend's side for three long days and nights. He wasn't about to let any of his own inexperienced young men or the Saxon servants near the Norman. They would poison him at the first opportunity, or so Royce believed. The duty of caring for the knight therefore fell on Royce's shoulders. It was a task he was, unfortunately, unqualified to accomplish with much skill.
Royce kept the tax collector in residence and left Hugh's side only once during the long vigil, to question the Saxon about Nicholaa's family. He'd already formulated a plan to force the woman from her sanctuary, but he wanted to make certain he hadn't missed any other considerations.
Hugh's condition deteriorated. By week's end, it became apparent he would die if he didn't receive proper treatment. In desperation, Royce took his friend to the abbey. Both Ingelram and Hugh's vassal, Charles, flanked the cart in which Hugh rested.
The four men were denied entrance to the abbey until they agreed to remove their weapons. Royce didn't argue with the order, and once the swords were handed over, the iron gates to the abbey were opened.
The abbess met them in the center of the stone-paved courtyard. She was an old woman, nearly forty by Royce's estimation, stooped in posture, too, but with a surprisingly clear, unwrinkled complexion.
She was dressed in black, from the veil hiding her hair to the shoes covering her feet, and though the top of her head didn't even reach his shoulders, she seemed unimpressed by his size. Her gaze was direct, unwavering.
The abbess reminded him of Sister Danielle... or rather Lady Nicholaa, he corrected.
"Why have you placed your soldiers around the walls of this abbey?" the nun asked in greeting.
"My soldiers are here to make certain Lady Nicholaa doesn't leave her sanctuary," Royce answered.
"Have you come here with the intent of persuading her to leave?"
Royce shook his head. He walked over to the back of the cart and motioned for the abbess to follow.
The abbess proved to have a compassionate nature. As soon as she saw Hugh's condition, she ordered him taken inside.
Hugh was too weak to stand on his own. Royce hoisted the sleeping warrior over his shoulder. He staggered under the weight, straightened, and then followed the abbess inside. There was a stone staircase directly to the left of the arched entrance. He and his men climbed the steps and followed the nun down a long, brightly lit corridor.
Whispers followed them. The clatter of men's boots as they strode down the wooden floor echoed off the stone walls, but Royce could still hear the soft chanting of the other nuns. The closer he came to the door at the end of the hallway, the stronger the voices became. He recognized the Pater Noster and knew then the sisters were at prayer. From the direction of the sweet, musical sound, he guessed the nuns were sequestered on the floor above.
"We have only one large room in which to house the sick who come to us," the abbess explained. "Just one week past we were filled to capacity, but today only one Saxon soldier remains under our care. You do agree, don't you, Baron, that all men are equal inside these walls, be they Norman or Saxon?"
"I agree," Royce answered. "Is this Saxon soldier Lady Nicholaa's brother?"
The abbess turned around. "Yes," she answered. "Justin is resting inside."
"Is he dying, as I was informed?"
"Only God can answer that question," she replied.
"Justin refuses to accept the cross thrust upon his shoulders. He fights our every treatment. He prays for death while we diligently pray for his recovery. I can only hope God will not become confused by our contradictory pleas."
Royce wasn't certain if the mother superior was making a jest or not. Her brow was puckered into a frown. He nodded again, shifted Hugh over his shoulder, and then said, "I would like to get my friend settled. Can we not discuss your concerns after Hugh has been made comfortable?"
"I've only one concern now," the abbess announced. "You'd best know I have every intention of placing your friend in the bed next to Justin's. I can see from your frown you've little liking for this decision, but I have a sound, practical reason. Sister Felicity is best qualified to care for both men. She's quite elderly now, and I won't have her running from one end of the room to the other. She'll sit between the soldiers. Do you accept this condition?"
Royce nodded. The abbess looked relieved. She turned and opened the door. The room Royce entered was gigantic. He squinted against the sunlight that poured in from three large windows in the far wall. Wooden benches stood beneath each window. The walls were sparkling clean from a recent whitewashing.
Along the opposite wall were over twenty beds. Next to each bed stood a small chest. A single white candle sat on each chest.
Each bed and chest could be enclosed on all sides by white curtains that hung from ceiling to floor. When the draperies were pulled, the area became a cell of privacy.
All but one of the beds was exposed to the sunshine now. Royce surmised that the square white cocoon near the center of the room was the cell where Justin rested.
He settled Hugh in the bed next to the curtained cell. Within minutes he'd stripped his friend of his heavy outer garments and covered him with a mound of thick, soft fleece blankets.
"The wounds on his arms and shoulders are festering," the abbess remarked with a worried frown. "Sister Felicity will know what to do." She bent down and stroked Hugh's forehead in a motherly gesture. "God willing, this one will recover."
Royce nodded. He continued to be very accommodating until the nun suggested he and his men take their leave. Royce shook his head then. "No," he said. "A Norman soldier will guard Hugh until he recovers. He will not be allowed to eat or drink until the food has been tasted by one of your own," he added in a hard voice.
It was obvious from the surprised look on the abbess's face that she wasn't used to being contradicted. "You're a suspicious man, Baron," she said frowning. "This is a sacred house. No harm will come to your friend."
When Royce only shrugged his shoulders, the abbess asked, "And if I do not accept your conditions?"
"You won't turn Hugh away," he countered. "Your vows won't let you."
Her smile surprised him. "I see you're every bit as stubborn as I am," she said. "We'll both spend a bit of time in purgatory for that flaw in our natures. Very well, then. I'll accept your conditions."
Hugh moaned in his sleep, drawing the mother superior's attention again. She gently tucked the covers around the warrior, whispering soft words of comfort all the while. Then she closed the curtains and went in search of Sister Felicity. The minute she turned to leave, Royce motioned to Ingelram and Hugh's vassal. The two soldiers immediately followed the abbess to the doorway and took up their positions on either side of the entrance. No one but a nun would be allowed inside the chamber until Hugh had fully recovered.
While he waited for the abbess to return, Royce decided to appease his curiosity about the Saxon soldier. He wanted to see for himself that the man was too ill to be a threat to Hugh. He wasn't about to take for granted anything a Saxon told him until he had personally confirmed it.
Royce walked to the other side of Hugh's bed and was just about to push the curtain away when someone pulled it back from the other side.
He suddenly found himself shoulders to face with Lady Nicholaa.
Her indrawn breath told him she was even more surprised by their encounter than he was. He assumed she thought he'd left with the abbess. He knew she must have heard every word of their conversation.
They stood no more than a foot apart. A light fragrance of roses caught his attention.
Lord, she was lovely---and, he hoped, frightened. Her eyes were wide with what he suspected was fear.
Yes, he decided, she was afraid. Royce thought that was a most intelligent reaction. The woman should damn well be afraid of him, for every action after all produced a reaction, or a retaliation. Lady Nicholaa had lied in order to gain temporary freedom. Soon, however, it would be his turn to retaliate.
Neither of them said a word for several moments. Royce towered over her and waited for her to cower.
She waited until she could control her anger.
The longer she stared at him, the more furious she became. How dare this Norman venture inside her brother's sickroom?
Her chin came up in an instinctively defiant action.
He quit smiling.
She wasn't afraid of him. That realization stunned him. It was followed by a sinful thought. The woman was close enough for him to grab. Lord, how easy it would be simply to toss her over his shoulder and leave the abbey. It was a sinful thought because she was under the church's protection now. But it was no more sinful than the sudden burst of desire that caught him unawares.
If a man's preferences ran to blue-eyed nymphs, then Nicholaa would certainly be his first choice. He told himself his preferences didn't run in that direction. Then he recognized the lie and gave it up. Hell, he could be content to spend the rest of his days staring at her and wanting more.
Her mouth was too appealing to give him any peace of mind. All he wanted to think about was what she would taste like.
His discipline saved him from grabbing hold of her and finding out then and there. He took a deep, calming breath. He forced himself to put his lust aside and concentrate on staring the woman to her knees. Defiance was all very well and good under certain circumstances, but this wasn't one of them. She needed to be afraid now. With fear came caution, he reasoned. Nicholaa had caused quite enough havoc. It was time for her to surrender. He was determined to make her realize just whom she was up against. He was her conquerer, and she was his booty. The sooner she came to terms with that fact, the easier her life would be.
He was good at intimidation. The scar on his face helped, of course.
Odd, but it didn't seem to be helping him now. No matter how fierce his scowl became, she still didn't cower.
He couldn't help but be impressed. He took a step forward. The tips of his boots touched the toes of her shoes. She still didn't back away. Her head was tilted all the way back so she could continue to hold his gaze, and if he hadn't known better, he would have thought there was a sparkle in her eyes.
Dared she mock him?
Nicholaa was having difficulty remembering how to breathe. In truth, she was more furious with herself than with the warlord frowning so furiously down at her. Her reaction to the Norman was unexplainable. She couldn't quit staring at him. He had the most beautiful gray eyes, though why in God's name she'd taken time to notice the appealing trait was simply beyond her comprehension.
He was trying to intimidate her. She wasn't going to let him. The warrior really was handsome, damn his hide. And damn her own for noticing. What was the matter with her? He was her enemy, and she was supposed to hate him, wasn't she?
He obviously wasn't having any trouble hating her. His dark expression told of his displeasure. Her back straightened in reaction.
"I should have killed you when I had the chance," she whispered.
He raised an eyebrow. "And when was that?" he asked in a soft, mocking voice.
"When I knocked you off your feet with the stone from my sling."
He shook his head.
She nodded. "My aim was true," she boasted. "I meant to mark you, not kill you. Now I regret that decision. Perhaps I'll get a second chance before you're chased back to Normandy where you belong."
He still didn't believe her. He folded his arms across his chest and smiled down at her. "Why didn't you kill me when you had the chance?"
She shrugged. "I didn't feel like it," she announced. "Now I do."
When he laughed, she realized that he still didn't believe her. She couldn't blame him, she supposed, because until this very minute, she hadn't told him a single truth. She wondered if he'd found out she wasn't really a member of the order of nuns. Of course he had, she decided almost immediately. The treasonous tax collector would have told him.
Nicholaa could feel her composure slipping away. Her knees, too. She decided to dismiss him and reached up to pull the curtain closed.
He was much quicker than she was. He had hold of her hand before she'd even touched the drapery.
He wouldn't let go, either. His grip stung like a hornet. She quit trying to pull away from him as soon as she realized how futile her struggle was, and how weak it made her appear.
"Are your possessions here, Nicholaa?"
That question, asked so matter-of-factly, took her by surprise. She nodded before she could stop herself. Then she said, "Why would you ask me such a question?"
"I'm a practical man," he answered. "It will save time to go directly to London from here. Have your things ready or I'll leave them behind. As soon as my friend has recovered, we leave."
She was astonished by his arrogance. "I'm not going anywhere."
"Yes, you are."
She shook her head at him. The veil hiding her hair slipped to one side. Before she could right the damage, he reached over and ripped the covering from her head.
Nicholaa's glorious blond mass of hair tumbled down from the coil on top of her head to hang almost to her waist. His breath caught in his throat at the magnificent sight.
"Only nuns wear the veil, Nicholaa, and you aren't a nun, are you?"
"The pretense was necessary. God understands. He's on my side, not yours."
That ridiculous remark made him smile. "And how did you come to that conclusion?"
The smile had moved into his voice. Was he laughing at her? No, of course not, she told herself. He wouldn't know how. Norman warriors didn't experience human emotions. They lived only to kill and to conquer, or so her brothers had told her. The reason was simple: the enemy soldiers followed a leader who was more monster than man.
"Why do you believe God's on your side?" he asked again when she didn't answer him.
"I did get away from you, didn't I? That should be proof enough, Baron, that God's on my side. I'm quite safe here."
He couldn't argue with that bit of lopsided logic. "For the time being, you're safe," he agreed.
She granted him a smile that showed off the attractive dimple in her cheek. "I'll stay here as long as I want," she boasted. " 'Tis the truth, I'm not leaving this sanctuary until the invasion attempt has been foiled and you've gone back home where you belong."
"The invasion is all but over, Nicholaa. England belongs to us. Accept that fact, and life will be much easier for you. You've already been conquered."
"I will never be conquered."
The mighty boast was thoroughly ruined by the quaver in her voice. He noticed it, too. The rude man had the gall to smile. Her shoulders straightened in reaction.
Royce gave her hand a hard squeeze before finally letting go. Nicholaa started to turn away. He stopped her by grabbing hold of her chin.
He forced her face up, then leaned down until he was just inches away from her. "Don't inconvenience me again."
He didn't raise his voice above a whisper when he gave that command, but his tone was hard enough to truly infuriate her. She pushed his hand away from her chin, then moved to one side so he could get a clear look at her brother.
"Do you actually believe I care if you're inconvenienced or not?" she asked. "My brother lies near death because of your greedy, land-hungry leader, Duke William. Had he left England alone, Justin would still be whole."
Royce turned his attention to her brother. The first thought that came into his mind was that the Saxon soldier really was near death. His complexion was as white as the blanket covering him. Beads of perspiration covered his brow. His hair was the same white-blond as Nicholaa's, but that was the only similarity between brother and sister.
Royce couldn't see any injuries, because the blanket covered the big man from neck to feet.
He judged the soldier to be young from the lack of wrinkles at the outer corners of his eyes and the few scars on his face. He remembered then that the Saxon informant had told him Justin was a year younger than Nicholaa, and from all appearances, she was a very young woman.
So the Saxons also sent boy warriors into battle. Royce suddenly felt very weary. He shook his head in an effort to clear it while he kept his gaze on Justin. The brother's sleep was fitful. He wore a frown that suggested demons were racking his nightmares. Royce found himself affected by the sight of such obvious torment.
Nicholaa saw the concern in his eyes. He'd tried to hide his reaction, but he hadn't been able to. She was surprised, confused, too. Shouldn't he be gloating?
"When he's awake, he prays for death," she whispered.
"Why?"
He sounded genuinely perplexed. Nicholaa realized he couldn't see Justin's affliction. "My brother's left hand was severed in battle."
Royce showed no reaction to her announcement. "He could still live," he said after a long minute. "The injury could heal."
She didn't want him to be optimistic. She wanted him to feel guilty. She took a protective step toward her brother. "You might have been the one who did this to Justin."
"Yes."
His easy acceptance of such a foul deed took her breath away. "You feel no remorse?"
He gave her a look that suggested she'd lost her mind. "Remorse has no place in a warrior's mind."
He could tell from her expression she didn't understand what he was saying. He patiently explained. "A war is like a game of chess, Nicholaa. Every battle is like a well-thought-out move on the board. Once it begins, there shouldn't be any emotion involved whatsoever."
"So if you did, in fact, injure my brother---"
"That's highly doubtful," he interrupted.
"Why?"
"That isn't how I fight."
He wasn't making any sense to her. "Oh? What is it you do when you go into battle if you don't injure your enemies?"
He let out a sigh. "I kill them."
She tried not to let him know how appalled she was. The man acted as though they were discussing the week's mass schedule, for all the emotion in his voice. His callous attitude made her stomach burn.
"Your brother was injured near Hastings and not in the north as I was informed?" he asked, drawing her attention again.
"No, Justin wasn't in the battle near Hastings," she answered. "He was felled at Stamford Bridge."
Royce couldn't contain his exasperation. The confused woman had her enemies mixed up in her mind. "I'm Norman, Nicholaa, or have you forgotten that fact?"
"Of course not."
"The battle at Stanford Bridge in the north was waged by the king of Norway and his soldiers. We Normans weren't even there." He took a step closer to her. "And so, whether you wish it to be so or not, I couldn't have injured your brother."
"I didn't wish it," she blurted out.
Royce didn't know what to say to that. He considered himself an excellent judge of his opponent's reactions. Yet now he doubted his own ability. God's truth, she looked relieved. That didn't make any sense to him at all. Why would it matter to her if he had or hadn't injured her brother?
"You look relieved."
She nodded. "I am... pleased to know it wasn't you," she admitted. She turned her gaze to the floor. "And I apologize to you for jumping to the wrong conclusion."
He couldn't believe what he'd just heard. "You what?"
"I apologize," she muttered.
He shook his head, trying to clear it of this illogical conversation.
"If it had been you, I would have had to retaliate, wouldn't I? I'm all Justin has left, Baron. It has become my duty to protect him."
"You're a woman."
"I'm his sister."
Nicholaa rubbed her arms, for it seemed that the room had suddenly become frigid. God, she was tired. She'd been cold for so long, and so exhausted she could barely form a coherent thought.
"I don't like this war," she whispered. "Men do, though, don't they? They like to fight."
"Some do," he acknowledged, his voice brusque in reaction to his sudden urge to take Nicholaa into his arms. Lord, she looked fragile. He could only imagine the hell she'd been through since the invasion. He found it admirable that she would try to protect her brother, even though it was quite ridiculous for her to think she could.
From the whispers he'd heard about her, he realized he shouldn't have expected less. "Do you know, Nicholaa, that you've become a legend among the Norman soldiers?"
That announcement gained her full attention and caught her curiosity. "Only the dead become legends," she countered. "Not the living."
"If that's true, you're an exception," he said. "You did lead the defense against the first three challengers Duke William sent to secure your holding, didn't you?"
She shrugged. "Your leader sent children to try to steal my home. I merely sent them back."
"Even so," he argued, "there---"
She interrupted him. "My brother's soldiers were under my direction, yes, but only after the first-in-command was forced to leave."
"Who is this soldier and where is he now?"
"His name is John," she answered, "and he left for the north." She folded her arms in front of her and turned to look down at her brother. "You'll never catch him. He's far too clever for the likes of you."
"He sounds like a coward. He left you unprotected."
"I ordered him to leave. John isn't a coward. Besides, I can take care of myself, Baron. I can even get away from tiresome Normans when I want to."
He ignored that barb. "A Norman would never have left a woman in charge."
She shook her head. She knew she couldn't defend John now. In her heart, she thought her brother's loyal vassal was one of the most courageous men she'd ever known. Against terrible odds, he had brought little Ulric to her. Her brother Thurston had ordered John to deliver his son to Nicholaa for safekeeping until the war was finished. James, the Saxon traitor, would have no knowledge about the baby, and neither, Nicholaa reasoned, would the Normans. It was a pity that Nicholaa couldn't boast of John's courage now. Little Ulric's safety came first. As far as the Normans were concerned, Ulric was simply the child of one of the servants.
Royce watched the play of emotions cross her face and wondered what thoughts were going through her mind. He didn't like the way she defended the soldier who'd left her to survive on her own with but a small contingent of men to offer protection, but he decided to put that topic aside for now.
"You showed cleverness when you disguised yourself as a nun. My soldiers were taken in."
She noticed he hadn't included himself in that admission. Did he refuse to confess that he'd also been fooled? "Your soldiers are also little boys," she said. " 'Tis yet another reason you'll be defeated, Baron."
"Most of my soldiers are older than you."
"Then they're ignorant."
"Untrained, not ignorant," he corrected. "The skilled soldiers were needed for more important work."
He was being honest with her, but the look on her face indicated she was insulted by the truth. She turned her back on him in an attempt to dismiss him.
He wasn't ready to be dismissed. "I would warn you, Nicholaa, that being clever isn't going to aid your cause. The journey to London will be difficult at best, and the time we're forced to spend together will be tolerable for you only if you behave."
She refused to turn around. There was fire in her voice when she spoke again. "My God, you are an arrogant man. I've been given sanctuary here and even unholy Normans cannot break that law. I won't leave."
"You will."
She let out a gasp and turned to confront him. "You would violate the right of sanctuary?"
"No, but you will walk outside these walls when the time comes."
A shiver of fear rushed down Nicholaa's spine. What weapon could he use against her? Her mind jumped from one possibility to another, and after a long minute she concluded that he was bluffing. There wasn't a thing he could do to force her to leave her safe haven.
The rush of relief made her eyes fill with tears.
He smiled.
Her composure vanished. She completely forgot she was standing in a sickroom. She certainly wouldn't have shouted at the barbarian otherwise.
"As long as Normans are in England, I'll never leave here. Never!"
Never arrived exactly eight weeks later.
Baron Hugh had fully recovered from his illness and had left the abbey the day before. The abbess told Nicholaa she'd overheard Baron Royce ask his friend to stay at the holding until he'd taken the prize to London.
"I believe, Nicholaa, the prize he referred to is you," the abbess remarked in a sympathetic voice.
"He's bluffing," Nicholaa muttered.
She repeated those two words to herself over and over again during that long day. She didn't sleep at all that night, either. Royce had sent a messenger back to the abbey just before nightfall with the order that Lady Nicholaa was to gather her possessions and be ready to leave the abbey the following morning.
The abbess didn't believe the Norman was the type of man who would bluff, but she kept that thought to herself. She packed Nicholaa's small traveling bag and carried it down to the front entrance as a precaution against the very remote possibility that the baron did in fact have a plan of action in mind.
"Perhaps, if you're prepared, nothing will happen," the abbess declared.
Nicholaa was dressed and pacing in earnest by the crack of dawn. She wore her favorite cream-colored chainse and royal blue bliaut for the simple reason that her mother had helped her stitch the garments and the clothing always made her mood lighten. The material was too thin for the harsh winter weather, but she wasn't going outside so that didn't matter.
She declined the invitation to join the sisters for morning prayers, knowing full well she'd do more squirming than praying and would certainly distract the others.
Her trusted servant, Alice, came to give her weekly report a scant hour later. The elderly woman was sweet-tempered, extremely loyal to her mistress, and had a strong memory for details. She was fifteen years older than Nicholaa, yet clung to the youthful habit of giggling whenever she was nervous.
Alice was giggling when she rushed into the vestibule where Nicholaa waited for her. "It's just as we suspected, milady," Alice blurted out. She managed a quick curtsy, then continued. "Baron Hugh has settled in for a nice long stay at the castle, and Baron Royce is preparing to come and fetch you."
Nicholaa took hold of Alice's hand and pulled her to the window. She motioned for her servant to sit down on the bench and then sat down next to her.
"Were you able to find out how he plans to persuade me to leave this sanctuary?" she asked.
Alice shook her head so vehemently that wisps of gray hair flew free from her braid. "We've all been guessing and guessing, milady, but not one of us has been able to come up with a single possibility. Baron
Royce holds his own counsel. Clarise has taken on the duty of eavesdropping on the two men, but neither has spoken of this trickery, milady. You would think Baron Hugh would be interested in knowing just how Baron Royce plans to snatch you away from here."
"Clarise is being careful, isn't she? I wouldn't want her to get into trouble because of me."
Alice giggled again. "Clarise is just as loyal to you as the rest of your staff. Why, she'd give her life to keep you safe."
Nicholaa shook her head. "I don't want her to give her life for me. Nor you either, Alice. You take too many chances coming here, though, God's truth, I do look forward to hearing the news from home."
"'Tis called Rosewood now," Alice whispered.
She nodded when Nicholaa looked so surprised. "They've named my home?"
"It was Hugh who gave it the name. Your Baron Royce didn't seem to mind. Then afore you knew it, even the staff was calling the place Rosewood. It's got a nice sound to it, doesn't it, milady?"
Alice didn't give her mistress time to answer. "I've got to speak the truth, milady. The two barons are acting as though the place belongs to them now."
"What other changes have they made?" Nicholaa asked.
"They found one of the passageways to the outside through the north wall and sealed it up real tight. It's the only one they've spotted so far, though."
Nicholaa realized she was wringing her hands. She forced herself to stop the nervous action. "And my chamber, Alice?" she asked. "Which one of the infidels has taken over my room?"
"Neither," Alice replied. "Baron Royce has had the door barred and won't let anyone inside. When Hugh took ill, he was given your room, but when he returned to Rosewood, he was given the larger chamber. Clarise and Ruth were given the unholy chore of cleaning the room for the Norman. Are you wanting to hear the rest of this, milady?"
"Yes, of course," Nicholaa said. "You mustn't try to shield me."
"It's becoming very difficult for us to hate Baron Royce," Alice confessed with yet another inappropriate giggle.
"It's a sin to hate, and for that reason alone, we must not hate the Normans," Nicholaa said. "We can, however, thoroughly dislike them, Alice."
The servant nodded. "But even that's difficult to do," she wailed in a voice as bleak as the howling wind outside. "He called all of us together before him. We hid Hacon in the back, thinking the sight of him would remind the baron that he'd boldly lied to him about you being a twin and all. And do you know what happened, milady? Baron Royce called the meeting to praise Hacon for defending his mistress. The baron asked him to kneel and give his pledge of loyalty. He didn't demand it. He asked!"
Several loud giggles followed that explanation. Alice put her hand to her breast and took a deep breath. "The baron even helped Hacon to his feet after he'd given his oath. Well, now, we were all put right in a muddle over that kindness. We all thought the Norman would want Hacon's head, not his loyalty."
"Who can know what the barbarian wants?" Nicholaa said.
"The baron never raises his voice to anyone, either. Clarise says it's because he's older, though certainly not as old as his friend, Baron Hugh. Myrtle spilled a full draft of ale right on Baron Royce's trencher of food, and do you know he didn't raise his hand against her? Nay, he just moved to another spot at the table and went right on having a conversation with his friend."
Nicholaa didn't want to hear any more about Royce. "How is Baron Hugh?" she asked.
"Singing your praises, milady," Alice answered. "He told Baron Royce it was you who took care of him, you who sat by his side during the dark nights when he was so fevered, you who held a damp cloth to his brow and offered him comfort---"
"I did not offer him comfort," Nicholaa interrupted, her voice emphatic. "I was just helping Sister Felicity. You know how old and tired she is, Alice. And since I was sitting up at night by Justin's side, I only added Hugh to my duties. That's all."
"Baron Hugh says you've got a kind heart. Now, don't take to frowning, mistress. It's the truth. Hugh also said you beat him fair and fast at chess time and again."
Nicholaa smiled. "Hugh was bored with his confinement," she explained, "and giving the abbess one tantrum after another, demanding to be let up. I played chess to help her, not to entertain the Norman."
"Baron Hugh smiled when he spoke of you, but he frowned fierce whenever Justin's name cropped up. He told how your brother threw the tray of food at you. Then Baron Royce took to frowning, too. He's a pure fright when he scowls, isn't he?"
"I didn't notice," Nicholaa replied. "Neither of the Normans could possibly understand the torment Justin is going through," she whispered. "Now, please, tell me all about Ulric. How is my dear nephew doing?"
Alice smiled. "He's a handful, that one is, now that he's taken to crawling. Another tooth poked through just the day before yesterday."
"Isn't it too soon?" Nicholaa asked.
"No, no," Alice answered. "Ulric's doing just what he's supposed to be doing at his tender age. You haven't had much experience with babies, so you'll have to be taking my word on this."
Nicholaa nodded. "I wish I'd brought him here with me. I worry about him, Alice. Oh, I know you and Clarise are doing a fine job of caring for him, but I---"
"You made the right decision," Alice interjected. "You had no way of knowing if you'd make it to the abbey without being caught," she reminded her mistress. "And the weather would have chilled Ulric through to his bones. Besides, what would you have told your escort? They thought you were Sister Danielle, remember? Rest your frown, milady. Ulric's safe at Rosewood. It's just as we predicted it would be," she added with a nod. "The Normans don't pay any attention to the babe. They're still believing your lie that he's just the son of a servant. Clarise keeps him abovestairs all the time. Why, I'm thinking Baron Royce doesn't even remember he's there."
"I pray to God his father's still alive," Nicholaa whispered. "The longer we go without word, the more convinced I become that Thurston's dead, Alice."
"Don't think such dour thoughts," Alice ordered. She used the hem of her bliaut to mop at the corners of her eyes. "You've had a time of it, haven't you? Now listen to me. God wouldn't be so cruel as to take both
Ulric's mama and his papa. Your older brother must still be alive. You mustn't give up hope."
Nicholaa nodded. "No, I mustn't give up hope."
Alice patted her mistress's hand. "Baron Royce believes you've been married," she announced. "That fool, James, thinks the wedding to Roulf took place. We're all snickering over that one, we are. That know-it-all traitor doesn't know everything, does he? I'm hoping Baron Royce will toss James out on his backside when he finds out the truth."
Bennett and Oscar, two of the stable hands, came to escort Alice back to the holding. As soon as the three loyal servants took their leave, Nicholaa hurried back up to the sickroom to sit by Justin's side.
Her brother's mood was as stormy as the weather. When he finally fell asleep, Nicholaa leaned over him to pull the covers up around his shoulders. His right hand slammed into the side of her face---quite by accident, for he was sleeping now, but the blow was still powerful enough to knock Nicholaa to the floor.
Justin had caught her below the right eye, and she knew from the horrid throbbing she was feeling that she would wear a dark bruise by nightfall.
She left Justin alone and resumed her pacing. Every now and again she would pause at the window to look outside. By midafternoon she was convinced that whatever plan Royce had decided upon had somehow failed.
She was just about to pull the heavy animal skin back over the opening when the sound of thunder drew her attention. Men on horseback were racing around the bend in the road. The contingent of soldiers numbered at least fifty. They stopped when they reached the bottom of the steep path that led up to the doors of the abbey. The soldiers who'd been keeping guard around the perimeter of the walls then joined the ranks. When they were added to the unit, the number swelled to over seventy.
One warrior separated himself from the others and nudged his mount up the hill. From the size of horse and rider, she knew it was Royce.
He'd come for her after all.
Nicholaa backed away from the window, but kept her gaze directed on him.
Sunlight bounced off his open faced helmet and the metal rings sewn into his leather chest armor. It was the dead of winter, and yet his arms were bare. Nicholaa shivered. Royce suddenly seemed invincible to her.
She had to shake her head. He was just a man, she reminded herself. A man who would soon freeze to death, she hoped. Nicholaa saw his sword strapped to his side, but she didn't see a shield. He was still armed for battle---or for the journey through hostile land to London.
Royce stopped when he reached the center of the path. He sat there a long while, looking up at the abbey.
What was he waiting for? Did he actually think she would come outside? She shook her head and smiled. The Norman could sit atop his stallion for the rest of the day for all the care she would give. She wouldn't be so easily intimidated.
Royce sent a messenger up to the abbey's iron gates and waited until he was certain Nicholaa had been informed of his arrival.
The abbess found Nicholaa standing near the window. "Baron Royce asks that you look out the window, Nicholaa. He says he has a message for you."
Nicholaa moved to the center of the opening so that Royce could see her. She stood with her hands folded in front of her, trying to look serene and confident. She wasn't certain that he could see her expression, but she wasn't taking any chances. She was worried, yes, but the Norman wouldn't know it. Besides, she told herself again, he was bluffing.
Royce waited until he spotted her in the window, then slowly removed the heavy blankets protecting the baby he cradled in his arms.
Ulric was sound asleep, but his face scrunched up into a frown when the cold air reached him. "You'll be warm in just a minute," Royce promised.
He lifted the baby high into the air and waited for a reaction.
It wasn't long in coming. Lady Nicholaa suddenly disappeared from the window. Her scream of outrage lingered in the room.
Ulric had just filled his lungs with the intention of letting out an outraged bellow of his own when Royce gently wrapped him up in his cocoon of blankets. The warmth soothed the baby, and he began to suckle diligently on his chubby fists.
The slurping noise made Royce smile. He pulled the blanket back so he could see the baby's face and was rewarded with a grin. Four sparkling white teeth, two on top and two on the bottom, were visible when Ulric removed his fist from his mouth. Drool covered the baby's chin and cheeks. Royce awkwardly mopped the wetness away and then thought to dismiss the child by again covering his face.
Ulric had other intentions. He immediately arched his back into a bow, let out a loud, thoroughly undisciplined scream, and then started kicking.
Royce had absolutely no experience handling such a little baby. His three younger sisters had children, yes, but he'd never spent any time with them. As to that, he wasn't even sure how many nieces and nephews he had. He didn't have any idea why Ulric was upset. The baby was warm and protected, and that should have been quite enough. Royce had, after all, patiently waited until the servant, Clarise, had fed the child.
The baby had absolutely nothing to complain about.
He pulled the covers away from the baby's face. "Go back to sleep," he ordered in a soft but firm voice. Ulric quit squirming long enough to smile up at Royce. The baby looked absolutely ridiculous with his hair standing on end. Royce couldn't help smiling back.
He then decided he'd spent enough time soothing the child and once again pulled the covers over the baby's face. "Now you will go back to sleep."
Ulric let out another bellow. Royce spotted Nicholaa then. She came running through the open gates with her hair flying out behind her, paying no heed to the weather, for she hadn't even taken the time to put a cloak around her shoulders in her haste to get to Ulric.
His plan had worked. Royce was relieved---not so much at having tricked her into leaving the abbey as to be rid of the squirming infant.
Nicholaa flew down the hill at a breakneck run. She was out of breath but full of fury when she finally reached Royce. "Give me that baby," she demanded in a hoarse shout.
She was so infuriated that she couldn't stop herself from slapping his leg.
"Is Ulric your son, Nicholaa?"
She hesitated for only a fraction of a second before nodding. "Yes, he's my son."
He knew she was lying. Again. He let out a sigh. The fear he saw in her gaze made him hold his silence. He wouldn't challenge her now. She had lied because she was afraid. She couldn't possibly understand him. He knew she was trying to protect the child from harm. Royce was her enemy, and he could well imagine the foul stories she'd been fed about the Normans.
"Ulric's safe, Nicholaa. No harm will come to him."
After making that promise, he reached down to her, offering her his hand.
She shoved it away. "Give him to me. Now."
He would have liked nothing better than to hand the child down to her, for Ulric was at it again, squirming, kicking, howling, too, but Royce wasn't about to let Nicholaa have the upper hand. She wasn't the one giving the orders, and the sooner she understood that, the better. The journey would be difficult enough without her challenging him every step of the way.
Ulric had gone into a rage of rebellion. Royce turned his attention to calming him. He gently turned the infant so that his back rested against the cloak covering his chest. He then removed the blanket from his face, for the babe did seem determined to look around him. He mopped his face again, too. Then he finally turned his gaze back to Nicholaa.
The bluster had gone out of her anger. Royce was being incredibly gentle with Ulric. The warrior had such big hands, and yet he wasn't at all awkward with the infant. Ulric liked him, too. The baby kept tilting his head back and grinning up at his captor.
He was only a baby. He didn't know any better, she told herself. She finally turned her gaze to Royce.
They stared at each other for a long minute while Ulric gurgled out his new sounds. The baby was very content.
Nicholaa couldn't hold Royce's stare long. She started shivering and couldn't decide if the chills were due to the weather or the giant's glacial stare.
"The game's over, Nicholaa. I've won. If this were a chess match, I would say checkmate," he said. "Admit your defeat and I'll show you mercy."
The amusement in his voice was more infuriating to her than his arrogant boast. She looked up at him again and saw that he was trying hard not to laugh at her.
The man was literally gloating with victory. She slapped his leg again. "If this were a game, your move would not be checkmate, Baron, but check, for you've only cornered me with this devil's move. Aye, this game isn't over yet."
He shook his head. "You're in an untenable position, Nicholaa. Give up this foolish struggle and accept what cannot be changed."
He had the gall to smile at her. She disliked him intensely for that. How could she have thought he was the least bit handsome? The man was a monster to use a baby to get his way. Why, he'd deliberately put Ulric in jeopardy just to gain the advantage.
Nicholaa realized that, in all honesty, the baby wasn't in any jeopardy. She was candid enough with herself to admit that truth. Ulric was safe. There was a full army within shouting distance to keep the baby safe from attack, and he was well protected in the Norman's arms.
No, Ulric wasn't in any jeopardy, but she was. It was only a matter of minutes before she would be turned into a block of ice by the wind.
Nicholaa rubbed her arms and stomped her feet in an effort to take the sting out of her toes. "Give me my son," she demanded again, though her voice lacked conviction now.
"Is he your son?"
Before she could answer that question, Ulric gurgled out a word: "Mama." Since the baby was looking at her, she seized the opportunity.
"Of course he is," she announced. "You just heard him call me Mama."
His exasperation was obvious. "Madam, in the past five minutes this babe has called me, my horse, and his fists Mama. You're trying my patience," he added with a frown. "Are you determined to stand there until you freeze to death or will you concede defeat?"
She nibbled on her lower lip for a long minute before giving him answer. "I'll concede only that you've bested me by means of sinful trickery, but that's all I'm going to concede."
It was enough to satisfy him. He lifted his cloak from where it was draped across his thighs and tossed it down to her.
"Put this on."
"Thank you."
She'd whispered those words, and he wasn't certain he'd heard her correctly. "What did you just say?"
"I said thank you."
"Why?" he asked, his puzzlement obvious.
She shrugged. "For a kindness given," she explained. "There is never a good reason for rudeness, Baron. We Saxons understand that, but I assume from the look on your face that Normans do not. 'Tis yet another reason you should go back where you belong and leave England alone. Our cultures are too different to mix."
God, she was exasperating. He let out a sigh. "Are all the Saxons as daft as you?"
She clutched the edges of his heavy cloak around her shoulders and glared at him. "We aren't daft. We're civilized."
He laughed. "So civilized that Saxon men and women paint their bodies? Don't shake your head at me. I've seen the pagan designs drawn on the Saxon soldiers' arms and faces. Even your church leaders think it quite decadent."
The man had a valid argument there, but she wasn't about to admit it. She, too, thought it a bit decadent the way some of the Saxons painted themselves. However, this was a ridiculous conversation to be having right now.
"Why can't you just leave me alone?"
The anguish in her voice caught him off guard. One minute she was arguing with him about his manners, and the next she was pleading with him and looking ready to weep.
"I'd like nothing better than to leave you alone, but it is my duty to take you to London, and it's your duty to---"
"To become some man's prize? Isn't that the real reason I'm being dragged to London?"
She was bloody furious again. Her changes of mood occurred so swiftly that he was amazed. And pleased. He much preferred an angry woman to a weeping one.
"I hadn't planned to drag you all the way to London, but the idea has merit."
The amusement in his voice made her want to scream. "You do try my patience," she muttered.
"And you mine," he announced when she pushed his outstretched hand away a second time."
"If I'm going to London, then I shall walk there. I won't---"
She never got to finish her threat, because he took matters into his hands. Literally. Before she realized his intention, he leaned to one side of the saddle, grabbed her around the middle, and lifted her up onto his lap. It happened so quickly she didn't even have time to gasp. Her bottom landed on his hard thighs. Her back was slammed up against his chest, and his arm became an anchor around her waist.
Ulric was tucked under one of his arms. The baby's lusty laugh indicated he was thoroughly enjoying being jostled about.
Nicholaa hated being so close to her captor. His size overwhelmed her. The heat and the strength radiating from him made her feel horribly vulnerable.
She fought this fresh spurt of fear, but she knew she was losing the battle when she started trembling again. It was actually her captor who made her terror subside. He handed Ulric to her and then took time---and care, she couldn't help but notice---to adjust his cloak around her shoulders. He tucked the heavy garment around her legs and even offered her his warmth when by pulling her back against his chest. He was being extremely gentle with her, as gentle as he'd been with little Ulric.
He smelled nice, too. She let out a little sigh. He wasn't a monster after all. God's truth, that admission took the wind right out of her. The fear, too. She realized she couldn't dislike him as much as she wanted to, and then she found her first smile. Heaven help her, she'd never been good at holding a grudge or disliking anyone as thoroughly as she was supposed to dislike him.
She mulled that truth over for a minute or two and came up with an alternative. She couldn't hate him, for that would be a sin. She could, however, make his life a living hell during the short time they spent together. Odd, but that plan cheered her considerably. The possibilities, after all, were endless.
The Norman barbarian deserved every inconvenience she could give him. He was the one who insisted on taking her to London, and any misery she could give him would be his just reward.
Nicholaa turned her attention to the baby. She cuddled him against her bosom, kissed the top of his head. Ulric let out a happy gurgle. Absentmindedly she brushed his hair down. The strands of blond fluff sprang right back up.
Royce watched her. "Why does his hair do that?" he asked.
He'd whispered that question close to her ear. She kept her gaze directed on the baby. "Do what?"
"Stand up on end," he said. "He looks as if he'd just suffered a fright."
She couldn't help but smile. Ulric did look silly. And adorable. She didn't let the Norman see her amusement, though. "He's perfect," she announced.
He didn't agree or disagree.
"You don't plan to take Ulric to London with us, do you, Baron? The journey would be too difficult for him."
He ignored her question and nudged his stallion forward. They stopped when they reached the iron gates. He dismounted in one fluid motion. "You will wait here," he ordered. He put his hand on her thigh. "Do you understand me?"
His grip stung. She put her hand on top of his to push him away. She wasn't going to obey any order he gave her. Then he captured her fingers and started squeezing. "I understand. I'll stay here," she lied, hoping that the lie didn't qualify as a sin, since the Norman was her enemy and God was still on her side. God would help her get away, she reasoned. As soon as the Norman went inside the abbey, she and Ulric would take to the north road.
And then what? The baron's men would surely notice she was leaving.
She completely discarded the plan when Royce took Ulric into his arms.
"Give him back to me," she demanded.
He shook his head.
"What are you thinking to do?" she asked.
"I told you to stay there," he commanded when she started to dismount.
His voice hadn't risen above a whisper, but the sternness in his tone got her full attention. "Give me my son and I'll do whatever you ask."
He pretended he hadn't heard her. Nicholaa waited until he went inside the abbey. She was left to fret a good ten minutes before he came outside again.
The baby wasn't with him. Royce carried her baggage, though, and once he'd secured it to the back of the saddle, he remounted behind her.
"Will the abbess see that Ulric is taken back home?"
"No."
She waited for him to explain in full, but after he'd settled her on his lap and covered her with his cloak, the rude man still didn't say another word.
"Who will take care of Ulric?"
The worry in her voice softened his attitude. "Ulric's going to stay at the abbey until your future has been decided."
"How did you get the abbess to agree to tend Ulric?"
"I offered her a bargain she couldn't resist," Royce replied.
She could hear the amusement in his voice. She tried to turn so she could see his expression, but he forced her to stay where she was. "What was this bargain?"
They started back down the hill before he answered her. "In return for the favor of looking after Ulric, I promised to see that Justin is taken care of," he said.
She was astonished. "How could you make such a bargain? Justin's dying, or have you forgotten?"
His sigh was long. "He isn't dying," he said. "Somewhere in that mind of yours I think you know I'm speaking the truth. Justin might not want to live, but he's going to, Nicholaa."
When she started to answer him, he put his hand over her mouth. "In the past two months there have been many changes in your country. England is ours now, and William is as much your king as mine."
Nicholaa was completely disheartened. He spoke the truth, and she wasn't naive enough to pretend otherwise. She'd heard about some of the changes, too. Even though the abbey was isolated, the nuns kept abreast of the latest happenings. Nicholaa was well aware that the Saxon defense had crumbled on the fields of Hastings.
"You still had no right to make such a promise to the abbess. Justin's my brother. I'll take care of him," she said.
He shook his head.
She wanted to hit him. "If you had an ounce of compassion inside you, you'd let me stay by my brother's side during this unsettling time and give him the comfort he needs."
"The last thing your brother needs is comfort."
He sounded so sure of himself. Odd, but his attitude made her feel a glimmer of hope, a possibility that he might hold the answer to Justin's future. She'd been so terrified for her brother. What was going to become of him? How could he ever learn to make it on his own in this cold world?
"What is it you think he needs?" she asked.
"Someone to teach him how to survive. Compassion won't keep him alive. Proper training will."
"You haven't forgotten Justin has only one hand?"
There was a smile in his voice when he answered her. "I haven't forgotten."
"Yet you believe you could train him?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
"It's what I do, Nicholaa," he patiently explained. "I'm a trainer of men."
She was stunned by the commitment he'd just made to Justin. She was terrified, too. Could she really trust this man? "What happens to this promise of yours when you return to Normandy?"
"If I return to Normandy, Justin will go with me."
"No," she cried out. "I won't let you take my brother away from me."
He heard the panic in her voice. He gave her a squeeze to calm her. He understood her distress, of course. She'd already lost one brother to the war, if he'd heard correctly, and it was apparent to Royce that she felt complete responsibility for Justin's welfare. She carried a heavy burden on her shoulders, too heavy, he thought, for someone of her young age.
"Justin would return to England as soon as his training is completed. There is also a chance that I'll stay here, Nicholaa."
God, she hoped he would stay in England. For Justin's sake only, she qualified. Nicholaa felt such relief. The baron would keep his word. She didn't have a single doubt about that now.
"I still don't understand how you could take on the responsibility for a Saxon soldier, Baron, when you---"
His hand covered her mouth again. "We are finished with this discussion," he announced. "I've been extremely patient with you, Nicholaa. I've allowed you to express your concerns, and I've explained my position. We've wasted enough time."
She didn't agree with that rude dictate. He had his way, though. He goaded his mount into motion again, making conversation impossible.
He set a hard pace. There was one amusing moment, though, when he paused at the foot of the hill to collect his shield. The soldier holding it obviously thought to impress his baron by tossing it to him. The weight proved to be too heavy for the soldier, though, and the kite-shaped shield ended up on the ground between the two mounts.
Nicholaa almost laughed out loud until she saw the horrified expression on the young soldier's face. She couldn't add to his humiliation by openly laughing at him. She bit her lower lip, turned her gaze to her lap, and simply waited to see what Royce would do.
He never said a word. She heard his sigh, though, and almost lost her composure then and there. He must have guessed she was amused. He squeezed her around the waist, a silent message, she supposed, for her to remain silent.
The poor soldier finally regained his wits and went to fetch the shield. His face was bright red when he picked it up.
And still Royce didn't chasten him. He accepted his shield and then took over the lead. Just as soon as they were out of earshot of the embarrassed soldier, Nicholaa gave in to her urge and started laughing.
She thought he might laugh, too. It had been amusing, after all. He didn't laugh, though, and when he pulled the top of his cloak down over her head, she came to the conclusion that he took exception to her own laughter.
There wasn't much to laugh about during the rest of the long day. They made camp when it became too dark to continue. Nicholaa was beginning to think Royce was actually a tolerable man to be around. He made certain she was warm, well fed, and even fashioned a tent for her near one of the fires.
Then he ruined her good opinion of him by reminding her why he was taking her to London. He spoke of an immediate marriage and kept referring to her as the king's prize.
She began making her escape plans then. She pretended to be very docile, exhausted, too, and waited for her opportunity.
Royce gave her his cloak again as an added blanket to cover herself. She thanked him for that consideration.
He laughed.
Nicholaa was about to go inside the tent when she suddenly stopped and turned around. "Royce?"
He was surprised she'd used his name. "What is it?"
"No matter what happens to me, you cannot break your promise to the abbess. You have to take care of Justin, isn't that right?"
"Yes," he answered. "The promise can't be broken."
She was satisfied. She pretended to fall asleep a few minutes later. Her plan was set in her mind. She would sneak away from the camp just as soon as the soldiers had all settled down for the night. She knew the area well. The forest was part of Baron Norland's holding to the south of her own estate. It was a fair walk back to the abbey, though. Nicholaa thought it might take her an entire day to get there. She'd have to keep to the trees, she thought with a yawn, and avoid the broken north road as much as possible.
The warmth from the fire and her own real fatigue overtook her good intentions then, and she fell asleep.
Royce waited until he was certain she really was fast asleep, then sat down on the ground directly across from her. He leaned back against a fat tree and closed his eyes. He didn't think she'd try to run away until the camp had quieted down for the night. That would give him an hour or two to gain a little rest... and peace.
Nicholaa came awake with a start in the middle of the night. She spotted Royce immediately. She stared at him for a long while, until she was absolutely certain he was sleeping.
He looked very peaceful---content, too. He'd placed his helmet on the ground beside him. His left arm rested on the headgear, his hand only inches away from the sword strapped to his side.
He was a handsome one all right. His hair was dark and much longer than was customary, even for barbaric Normans. It was a rich, dark brown, given to curl, too.
Nicholaa shivered with disgust. How could she be thinking what a fit man he was when he was determined to ruin her life? He considered her a mere possession, a trinket to be given to a knight.
The injustice of it got her moving. She found her shoes buried under the blankets. Her toes stung when she slipped the shoes on. The wind was bitter cold tonight. The long walk back to the abbey was a dreaded ordeal ahead of her. She almost let out a loud sigh just thinking about it.
Nicholaa wrapped herself in Royce's cloak and silently made her way to the woods beyond the small clearing. None of the soldiers paid her much attention, though one of the three men standing near the second fire did glance her way. When he didn't call out to her, Nicholaa assumed he thought she needed a few minutes of privacy.
As soon as she turned her back, Royce motioned to the soldiers to stay where they were. He waited only a minute or two, then stood, stretched the cramps out of his legs, and went after her.
He had expected her to make this move, and she hadn't disappointed him. The woman was courageous to brave such harsh conditions just to get away from him. Foolish, he thought to himself, but courageous all the same.
Nicholaa started running as soon as she'd edged her way through the denser foliage. In the light from the half-moon she wasn't able to see every little obstacle in her path. It was treacherous going. She was as careful as she could be, until she thought she heard someone behind her. She kept on running, but turned to see if one of the soldiers was chasing her.
She tripped over a rotting log and went flying head first down a deep ravine. She had enough of her wits left to shield her head and turn to one side before she hit the ground.
She landed with a thud. And a curse. She lost one of her shoes in the fall and Royce's heavy cloak, too, and when she finally sat up, she was a sorry sight to behold. There were more leaves than curls in her hair, and she was covered with dirt.
Royce stood in the shadows and waited. The daft woman could have broken her neck. Yet the loud, unladylike muttering he heard told him she was all right, just furious. She was cursing loud enough to wake the nuns back at the abbey.
She'd never make a proper chess mate. She didn't know how to calculate her moves. She wouldn't make a true enemy, either. He'd already concluded that she didn't have it in her nature to hate... or to retaliate. She didn't even know how to hold a grudge. Royce smiled, remembering how she'd questioned him about keeping his promise to look after Justin, no matter what happened to her. He'd known then she'd try to escape. Her thoughts were so easy to read, her every expression so refreshingly honest and transparent.
A tightness settled inside his chest. Nicholaa was like a fragile flower, so delicate, so incredibly soft, so beautiful.
His delicate little flower was muttering the most searing curses he'd ever heard. None of the phrases made any sense.
Her burst of temper was short-lived, though. She was ashamed of herself for using such coarse words. She made a quick sign of the cross to placate her Maker, and then stood up. As soon as she put her weight on her left foot, hot pain shot up her calf.
Nicholaa let out a loud cry and fell to the ground. She sat there a long minute debating what to do.
When Royce heard her whimper, he started toward her.
Nicholaa finally admitted defeat. She shouted for help.
He was standing by her side before she'd finished her plea. She was in too much pain to notice it hadn't taken him any time at all to reach her.
He had her shoe in his hand. He dropped it into her lap, then dropped down on one knee beside her.
She thought he looked exasperated. "If you say 'Check' to me now, I'll scream."
"You already did scream," he replied, his tone gratingly cheerful. "And it's 'checkmate,' Nicholaa. The game's over."
She wasn't in the mood to argue with him. She turned her gaze to her lap. "I fell," she announced, stating the obvious. "I believe I've broken my ankle."
She sounded pitiful. She looked sorry, too. Her hair hung over her face in total disarray, her gown was torn around the shoulders, and she was covered with dead leaves.
Royce didn't say a word, just leaned forward to examine the damage. She cried out in pain before he'd even touched her.
"Nicholaa, it's common to wait until you've felt the pain before you complain," he explained.
"I was preparing," she snapped.
He hid his smile. He was already certain the ankle wasn't broken. There wasn't a hint of swelling around the bone. She could move her toes without crying out, too, another sure indication to him that she'd merely bruised herself.
"It isn't broken."
She didn't believe him. She leaned forward, instinctively placing her hand on his arm for balance, to see for herself that her ankle was all right. Her face was just inches away from his. She stared at her foot while he stared at her.
"It looks broken," she whispered.
"It isn't."
"Must you sound so cheerful? I would have your sympathy over this unfortunate tragic mishap," she said.
"This'tragic mishap' wouldn't have happened if you hadn't been trying to---"
She interrupted him. "I was trying to gain a few minutes privacy to take care of a rather personal matter."
She looked right at him when she told that lie. It was a mistake, for only then did she discover how very close to him she was.
Their gazes held for the longest while. Neither said a word. Nicholaa couldn't seem to catch her breath.
Royce couldn't either. He didn't know what to make of his reaction to her. The urge to touch her was overwhelming. He couldn't stop himself from gently brushing her hair back away from her face. His fingers gently touched her cheek.
Nicholaa was comforted by the caress. The feeling didn't last long, though, for he was suddenly scowling at her. Her eyes widened. His hand gripped her chin, and he forced her head to one side, towards the moonlight. Then he pushed her hair farther away from her eye with his other hand.
"How did you get this bruise?" he demanded. His voice was rough, angry.
She shrugged.
He squeezed her chin. "Answer me. This couldn't have just happened, Nicholaa. The mark is too dark."
His frown intensified. "But it wasn't there this afternoon. I would have noticed."
"It was too there this afternoon," she told him. "It just wasn't as noticeable. Why are you so angry? It's my bruise, not yours."
He ignored that remark. "How did it happen?"
"It's not your concern."
She pushed his hand away and pulled back. The stubborn man followed her. He nudged her chin back up with the crook of his fingers.
"I'm weary of your stubbornness, woman."
"As weary as I am of your constant orders?"
She thought that was a rather cunning reply. She was giving back as much as she was getting, she thought. Besides, the Norman needed to know he wasn't dealing with a timid, frightened adversary. He wasn't going to intimidate her. He'd better not turn his back on her, either, for if she had a dagger, she'd plunge the blade deep between his shoulder blades.
God save her, she was lying to herself now. She couldn't kill him. And in the corner of her mind, she thought he might know that.
She let out a frustrated sigh. She noticed a lock of hair had fallen forward to rest on his forehead. Before she could think about what she was doing, she reached up and brushed the hair back where it belonged.
He acted as though she'd just smacked him. He jerked back, looking incredulous. She was so embarrassed by his reaction that she turned her gaze away.
It took him a moment to recover from her bold action. His voice was gruff when he said, "Every mark on your body is my concern, Nicholaa. I'm responsible for you. Now tell me how you came by this injury."
"You'll get surly if I do."
"How do you know that?"
"I've been watching you," she answered. "It's important for one enemy to know how the other's mind works, Baron. I've been studying you closely and am now convinced you have a surly nature."
He smiled at the authority in her voice. "And what else have you noticed?"
"You don't like me."
She waited for a contradiction. When none came, she continued. "You think I'm a nuisance."
"Yes, I do."
She took exception to that bit of honesty. "If it wasn't a mortal sin to hate, I could become very good at hating you."
"No, you couldn't," he answered, smiling gently. The look in his eyes made her stomach quiver. "I may have an unpleasant nature, Nicholaa, but you have a very gentle one. You don't know how to hate."
She was too weary to trade insults with him. "I'm going to freeze if I don't return to the fire," she announced. "Are you waiting for me to beg for your assistance?"
He shook his head. "I'm waiting to hear how you came by this bruise," he informed her.
Lord, he was stubborn. She could tell from the look on his face that he was determined to get his way. "Justin struck me."
She should have softened the truth a little. Royce looked bloody furious. She didn't want him to think ill of Justin. "You cannot blame my brother."
"The hell I can't."
He started to stand. She grabbed his arm. "I can explain," she said.
"Nicholaa, you can't justify what---"
She put her hand over his mouth. "Justin was sound asleep, Royce. I was leaning over him to pull the covers up, and he turned. His fist caught me below the eye when he rolled to his side. Justin had no idea he struck me."
He didn't look convinced.
"I'm telling you the truth," she muttered. "Saxon sisters and brothers don't strike one another. Is it because the Norman families fight like devils that you find my truth difficult to believe?"
He wasn't going to let her bait him. He picked up his cloak, wrapped it around her, and lifted her in his arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he headed for the camp.
She whispered thank you against his neck.
What the hell was he going to do with her? he wondered.
She was easing herself right into his heart and he didn't have any weapons to stop her. Damn it, his life was set in a pattern, and he was too old to change. Besides, he liked the order, the discipline, of his daily routine. He was very content.
Wasn't he?
Royce tried to put the contrary woman out of his thoughts. It was difficult, though, because she was so wonderfully soft and cuddly in his arms.
She was still a nuisance. She gave him hell all the way back to camp. She was back in the mood to argue with him. He was in the mood to gag her just to gain a few minutes' peace.
When they finally reached the campsite, he carried her back to his spot by the tree. He sat down in one fluid motion that didn't even jar her, adjusted her on his lap, shoved her head down against his shoulders, and then closed his eyes.
His cloak covered her from head to foot, and his arms held her close. The heat from his body kept her nice and warm.
"Royce?"
"What now?"
"I shouldn't sleep like this," she whispered. "I'm a married woman, after all, and I---"
"Your husband's dead."
She was surprised by the vehemence in his voice. "You can't possibly know if my beloved husband is dead or alive."
"He's dead."
Was he amused? She thought he might be, but when she tried to look at his face, he rudely shoved her head back on his shoulder again. "Oh, all right," she muttered. "He's dead. I'm still mourning him, though."
"You wear blue to mourn him?"
She hadn't thought of that. The man was a quick thinker, she realized. But then, so was she. "I'm mourning him in my heart," she muttered.
"How long has he been dead?"
He was gently rubbing her shoulders. The soothing touch felt too good to protest. She let out a loud, unladylike yawn before answering. "Two years."
"You're certain?"
He was laughing at her all right. She could hear the amusement in his voice. "Yes, I'm certain," she snapped. " 'Tis the reason I'm not wearing black any longer. It's been two years."
There, she'd bested him, she thought to herself. She closed her eyes. Her smile was smug.
A long minute passed. She'd almost drifted off to sleep when he whispered her name.
"Nicholaa?"
"Yes?"
"How old is Ulric?"
"Almost eight months now."
He guessed she was too sleepy to see the error in her lies. She didn't even tense against him. "But your husband's been dead two years?"
He couldn't wait to see how she would try to get out of this one.
Her eyes flew open. "My husband's been gone just one year. Yes, exactly one full year. I specifically remember telling you so."
A good five minutes passed before he spoke again. "You aren't any good at lying, either."
"I never lie."
He squeezed her to let her know he was irritated with her. "Will you concede defeat now?" he asked. "You were trying to run away."
"Will you let me sleep?" she asked.
"When you admit---"
"Yes," she interrupted. "I was trying to run away. There, are you happy now?"
"You will not try to escape again."
He didn't have to sound so mean-hearted when he gave her that order. Nicholaa suddenly felt like crying. She had to escape. It was the only way she could protect herself against the horrible future his overlord, William, had planned for her.
She adjusted her arms around his shoulders. Her fingers toyed absentmindedly with the hair on the back of his neck while she thought about the injustice of it all.
Her touch was driving him to distraction.
"Your William is determined to give me as booty to some man, isn't he?" she said.
"Yes."
She shoved away from his shoulder and glared at him. A leaf fell out of her hair. Her face was bruised and covered with dirt. He couldn't contain his smile. Nicholaa looked as if she'd just lost a tug-of-war.
"I'm not a prize."
He agreed wholeheartedly. "No, you're not."
After spending one long week with Lady Nicholaa, Royce decided he wasn't a very patient man, after all. By the time they reached their destination, he was ready to strangle her.
The hellion had made the journey as unpleasant as possible, and damn if she didn't try to escape three additional times.
The woman simply refused to see the futility of running away. She was sinfully stubborn. But then, so was he. He had demanded she concede defeat to him each time he caught her. He had even said the one word---"checkmate"---that seemed to send her into a full rage, but in truth, he wasn't trying to humiliate her. He only had her best interests at heart. If she was going to survive with her spirit intact under Norman rule, she would have to be more docile. Not everyone would be as kind and as thoughtful as he was.
Royce didn't want Nicholaa to be hurt. The mere thought of anyone mistreating her made his mood blacken.
The need to protect her nagged at his conscience. He found himself lecturing her on how to behave when they reached London. Nicholaa, however, wasn't in the mood to listen to anything he had to say. When he suggested she be docile, she bit him. He let her get away with that only because she'd had so little sleep over the past god-awful week, and she was simply too muddleheaded to think properly.
They reached London in midafternoon. The palace was nearly empty of guests when Royce strode inside, nearly dragging Nicholaa in his wake. He ordered two soldiers to report to William that his prize had at last arrived. Royce personally saw to the task of settling Nicholaa in her chamber.
She tried to trip him with her foot, and he really did drag her a good distance before letting her regain her balance.
He would be glad to be rid of her. Royce kept telling himself that lie until he almost believed it.
Almost.
His second-in-command, a knight several years his senior, caught up with the pair just as Royce was opening the door to Nicholaa's quarters. The soldier's name was Lawrence. He was a fit looking man with brown hair and hazel eyes. He was nearly as tall as his liege lord, but lacked the bulk and the muscle around his shoulders. Lawrence had fought by Royce's side in countless battles. He was a seasoned warrior, trustworthy, and loyal to his very soul. He was also Royce's good friend.
"'Tis good to see you again, my lord," Lawrence said in greeting. In his enthusiasm, he slapped Royce on his shoulder. Dust flew up into the air between the two giants. Lawrence laughed. "You're in need of a bath, Baron."
"Aye, I am," Royce answered. "It's good to be here." He glanced down at Nicholaa, matched her frown, and then added, "At last."
The implication wasn't lost on her. She knew she was the reason the journey had taken so long. Her chin came up a notch.
Lawrence was highly curious about the woman. When he turned to her, his heart skipped a beat. Lord, she was a beauty. Her eyes captivated him. They were the most unusual shade of blue he'd ever seen.
She wasn't timid, either. Her gaze was direct, unwavering.
Royce was amused by his vassal's reaction. It was as telling as Ingelram's had been when he'd first seen Nicholaa. Lawrence looked stunned.
"This is Lady Nicholaa," Royce announced.
Lawrence bowed low. "It is a pleasure to meet you, milady."
She curtsied in response to his politeness.
"I look forward to hearing about your adventures," Lawrence said.
"What adventures?" she asked.
"For one, I would like to hear how you came by all those bruises. You do look as though you'd been in battle," he added with a gentle smile. "Surely there's a story there."
"She's prone to accidents," Royce drawled.
She let Royce see her frown. Then she turned back to Lawrence. "I won't be in London long enough to tell you any stories."
She remembered Royce still had hold of her wrist when he started squeezing it. Lawrence noticed the frown on his baron's face, but couldn't understand the reason behind it. "Are you going somewhere soon, milady?" he inquired.
"No," Royce said.
"Yes," she said at the very same instant.
Lawrence grinned. "There's a rumor, Baron, that we will be leaving for Normandy before the week is out."
"We'll discuss that later," Royce announced with a meaningful glance at Nicholaa.
The vassal nodded. He noticed that a stricken look had come over the beautiful woman's face and decided she must be exhausted from her journey. "The king will send servants to see to your comforts, Lady Nicholaa," he announced.
"And soldiers to see that I don't escape?" she asked.
Lawrence was taken aback by the vehemence in her voice. "You're not a prisoner," he announced. He gave Royce a look of puzzlement. "Is she, Baron?"
Royce nodded. "She is until she accepts her fate," he announced.
"William is your king, too," Lawrence said to Nicholaa. His voice was gentle.
"No, he isn't."
"Lawrence, it won't do you any good to argue with her."
Royce let go of Nicholaa's wrist and gave her a nudge to get her moving. She walked into the chamber, Royce and Lawrence following close behind her. "I will escape," she boasted.
She went directly to the window. Royce knew what was going through her mind. "You'll break your neck if you try to jump, Nicholaa."
She turned around and smiled at him. "And would you care, Baron?"
He didn't give her a direct answer. "Your Ulric will care when he's old enough to understand. Consider him and Justin, too, Nicholaa, whenever you contemplate doing something foolish. You'll be harming your family as well as yourself." He started to pull the door closed.
"Wait," she called out, a frantic edge in her voice.
Royce stopped and turned to face her. "Yes?"
She took a step toward him. "Is that it, then? You're leaving?"
"Was there something more you wanted?"
"No."
He started to leave again.
"Is that all you can say to me?" she demanded.
He stopped again and let out a loud sigh. "What more do you want me to say?"
Her eyes filled with tears, and she started wringing her hands.
He couldn't understand what had come over her. "What in God's name is the matter with you?" he asked, thoroughly confused by her manner.
She shook her head. "Nothing. Nothing's the matter with me. I'm well rid of you, Baron. You're rude and insufferable." A tear slipped down her cheek. She wiped it away with the back of her hand.
Hell, she acted as though he was deserting her, and heaven help him, he felt as though he was. "I'm not leaving for Normandy," he said then. "If you need me, send one of the soldiers with a message. He'll find me."
Her relief was visible. The panic eased from her expression, and her stance relaxed. She couldn't seem to control her tears, though, and she turned her back on him so that he wouldn't witness her disgrace. "I won't be sending anyone to fetch you, Norman. Leave. I don't care."
He couldn't leave her like this. She looked so alone, so miserable... and so vulnerable. Damn it all, for some reason he wanted to see her strong and angry at him as she'd been on their journey.
"Baron?" Lawrence asked when his lord continued to stand there for such a long time without saying a word.
Royce shook his head. "Nicholaa?" he called out as he reached for the door.
"Yes?"
"I do have one last thing to say to you."
She turned around to look at him. Anger, he thought to himself. The anger would make her forget her fear.
"What is it?" she asked.
He grinned. "Checkmate."
He pulled the door closed on her outraged gasp. Royce laughed.
A loud crash sounded against the door. "What was that?" Lawrence asked.
"The water pitcher, I believe. She's feeling better."
And so was Royce.
Nicholaa's anger kept her occupied for the better part of the day. Two women came to her chamber late that afternoon. Both were Saxons, a fact that surprised Nicholaa. One carried fresh clothing; the other brought linens. Nicholaa moved to the window when they carried a wooden tub into the room and poured it full of hot, steaming water.
The bath was too inviting to refuse. Nicholaa soaked in the rose-scented water and washed her hair until she finally felt clean.
She didn't speak to either woman until one offered to brush the tangles out of her hair. "Why do you serve the Norman king?" she asked.
"He's England's king now," the servant named Mary answered. "Everyone serves him."
Nicholaa didn't agree with the servant, but she felt it would be unkind to contradict her. Mary was entitled to her own opinion, even though she was wrong.
Mary was about Nicholaa's age. She was a plump young woman with bright red hair and freckles that covered most of her face. The other servant, Heloise, was considerably older, and her manner was brisk and unfriendly.
"I'll never serve William," Nicholaa announced. She sat down on the stool Mary had provided and folded her hands in her lap.
Mary started to brush her hair. "Talk like that will land you in trouble, milady," she whispered.
Heloise was turning down the covers on the large bed. "Mary speaks the truth," she announced with a dour-faced nod. "Those who won't kneel before King William get themselves killed. Even now a dozen Saxon soldiers are waiting for the deathblow."
"Where are these Saxon soldiers?" Nicholaa asked.
"They're here, two floors below us," Mary whispered.
"God have mercy on their souls for being so stubborn," Heloise muttered. "Each one was given the chance to pledge his loyalty, and each one turned his back on that chance."
The fire crackled in the hearth, causing Mary and Nicholaa to jump. "Everything's so different now," Nicholaa said.
"It's orderly," Heloise interjected. "It's only taken the king two short months to squelch most of the resistance. He rules with an iron hand, that one does. Everyone has his place now."
"Everyone except Saxons," Nicholaa said.
"Nay, even Saxons have a place," Mary countered. " 'Tis the reason you're going to become a Norman's bride, milady. The more marriages between the two, the better for the future peace."
Nicholaa listened to the women talk about all the changes. She didn't eat the supper that the women provided, but went to bed early. She thought about the twelve Saxon soldiers waiting for execution. Her heart went out to the men and the families they would leave behind. She knew her brother Thurston might very well be one of the twelve, and that thought terrified her. She prayed until she was exhausted and then cried herself to sleep.
She dreamed about Royce.
He had a nightmare about her. He decided he must have been more fatigued than usual to have had such a bizarre dream. It had been a long day, after all. He'd spent over three hours talking with King William and hadn't returned to his chamber until the dark hours of the night.
The nightmare made him wake up in a cold sweat. It had been so vivid, so real. In the dream Nicholaa was lost in a forest. She was in great danger, and he couldn't get to her.
Royce couldn't go back to sleep and ended up pacing in the gardens behind the palace. There was much to consider. His life would be forever altered if he allowed himself to lose his heart to this woman.
But damn it all, he was too old for her, too set in his ways. Why, his life was like a map. Yes, that was it... a map. The lines had already been drawn, and the map couldn't be altered. And neither could he. It was simply too late for him to change.
He felt relieved after he'd come to this conclusion. He'd made the right decision. Yet time and again he found himself staring up at Lady Nicholaa's window, wondering if she was all right---and if that wasn't ridiculous, he didn't know what was.
The Norman knights were called before their king the following evening. Lawrence walked by Royce's side when they went into the gigantic great hall. The vassal was concerned about his lord, who seemed preoccupied. Lawrence sensed that something was wrong, but he couldn't imagine what it was. He knew it wouldn't do him any good to prod, though. Royce would tell him when he was ready.
King William took his seat in the tall-backed chair in the center of the platform four steps up from his audience. The king was a big man, given to bulk around his middle. His brown hair was tinged with gray, an indicator of his true age, but when he smiled he looked like a fit young man.
Matilda, the king's wife, was the complete opposite. She was a tiny woman, plump in bosom and thighs, and had sparkling brown eyes and curly brown hair.
King William motioned for his wife to join him on the platform, and when Matilda stood by her husband, the top of her head came only to William's waist. He waved his hand for silence. A hush immediately fell over the group. William then took his wife's hand and smiled at her.
"Most of you have heard the tale about Lady Nicholaa and how she bested three of my noble knights."
A loud murmur rushed through the crowd. Royce smiled. He had explained to his king that the Saxon named John had helped defend the holding against the Norman challengers, but William had decided to withhold that information from the group. The soldiers were in need of a reward, he explained to Royce, and he didn't want to sour the sweet by splitting the praise and possibly marring the legend.
"Clayton the herald will recite the feats soon so that those who aren't familiar with this remarkable woman will understand why the rest of us are so well pleased," William continued. "But first you must meet my prize. I've deliberately kept Lady Nicholaa well hidden until this very minute just to pique your curiosity."
William paused to kiss the back of his wife's hand, added a wink to let her know how much he was enjoying himself, and then motioned to two soldiers who stood to the right of the platform. As soon as the soldiers opened the doors behind them, William turned back to his audience.
"You will decide whether to engage in battle games for her hand in marriage. The winner will have his bride tomorrow evening."
Matilda whispered in William's ear. He nodded, then said to the crowd, "I've been reminded to tell you that the holding goes with Lady Nicholaa, as do fertile lands as far as the eye can see to the east and west. 'Tis a generous dowry I give with this courageous woman."
A loud cheer went up. William smiled in amusement. He was immensely pleased with the men's enthusiasm.
The noise soon became deafening---until Lady Nicholaa walked into the hall. Silence reigned then. Men quit cheering in mid-bellow. Women stopped laughing. Everyone stared in fascination at the beautiful woman walking toward King William.
Nicholaa was dressed in white, a gold braided belt looped around her waist. Her unbound hair fell in soft curls that swayed ever so slightly with each step she took.
She looked like a vision. Royce stood at the very back of the hall, his big shoulders resting against the wall. Because he was the tallest man in the room, he didn't have any trouble seeing Nicholaa.
"Lord, she's a beauty," Lawrence remarked.
Royce agreed, but in truth he was far more impressed with Nicholaa's regal bearing. There was such pride, such dignity, in her manner.
He knew she had to be terrified. Yet she kept her feelings well hidden from her audience. The expression on her face was peaceful, serene.
He knew, though, that the hellion was probably plotting to kill both the king and his wife right now. He heard someone whisper that she was an angel and almost laughed out loud.
Lawrence glanced up at Royce just in time to catch his smile. "Will you fight for her?" he asked.
Royce didn't answer him.
Nicholaa followed the guards over to the fireplace. When they stopped, so did she. Then the two soldiers moved away, and she was all alone. She stood several feet in front of the giant hearth, a fair distance from the crowd and the king.
God's truth, she felt as though she'd just been led into a den of lions. And she was their supper. She hoped her expression didn't betray her fear. Her heart was pounding such a wild beat it was almost painful, and her stomach seemed to be on fire. Thank God she hadn't eaten any of the nooning meal she'd been offered. She'd have been throwing it up now if she had.
It didn't take long for her to start feeling like a freak. Everyone was staring at her. She could feel their rude gazes on her, like bugs crawling up her arms.
Three little girls sneaked away from their mother's skirts and rushed over to stand directly in front of Nicholaa. They looked up at her, mouths gaping open, eyes wide with curiosity. They reminded her of little birds waiting to be fed.
"Are you a princess?" one whispered.
Nicholaa looked down at the child. The dark-haired little girl couldn't have seen more than four or five summers. There was innocent curiosity in the child's expression. Nicholaa couldn't be rude to her. She slowly shook her head. Then she turned her gaze to the far wall, determined to ignore everyone.
Baron Guy stood in the center of the hall, surrounded by his vassals. He'd been relating an amusing story when Lady Nicholaa entered the hall, and he had lost his train of thought then and there. He feared he might have lost his heart as well, for though he wasn't given to fancy, he was certain he was in love. The vast holding King William offered as dowry added to the Saxon woman's appeal, of course, but Guy was smitten by her beauty, too.
He decided he would have her.
Guy took a step forward and broke the silence in the hall with an arrogant boast: "I'll challenge anyone for her hand in marriage, and I'll win, too."
"You'll win only if Baron Royce doesn't enter the games," a bold knight shouted.
That remark didn't go unappreciated. Laughter echoed through the crowd. Guy kept his composure.
He turned to face the king, bowed formally, and then stood with his legs braced apart and his hands at his sides while he waited for the other knights to enter their bids.
Guy had fought beside William for nearly ten years. The scars on his arms were ample testimony to his battles. By sheer luck, his face had remained unblemished, and the ladies at court considered him quite handsome. He had golden hair and clear hazel eyes. He was almost as tall as his king, though he lacked both the bulk and the advanced age.
Royce was Guy's opposite. He was as dark skinned as Guy was light and towered over his friend. He wasn't considered the least bit handsome, either. The right side of his face was marred by a jagged scar that ran from the top of his ear to the base of his neck. He had earned the sickle-shaped mark years before when as a squire he'd put himself in front of his leader's wife, Matilda, to protect her from attack. Needless to say, that noble act hadn't gone unrewarded. Royce had been given his own contingent of men as soon as he'd finished his training under William's personal supervision.
Royce had proved his value early. Because he'd become so skilled in battle tactics, William began to send young, unseasoned knights to him for instruction. Royce was always patient, though ruthlessly demanding, and it was considered a privilege to train under his tutelage. His troops were the elite, invincible core of William's mighty army.
Guy considered himself a true friend to Royce, but he was still consumed with jealousy at what he considered Royce's good fortune. The leftovers were sent to Guy for training, for he'd also become known as a trainer of men. Guy had been fiercely competitive with Royce ever since their squire days together, and he often thought to himself that he would have become the more favored knight in William's eyes if he'd been the one to save Matilda's life.
Royce recognized the fever of jealousy in Guy's character, acknowledged it as simply a flaw he would surely eventually overcome, and then dismissed the insignificant matter from his mind.
"I, too, shall fight for her hand," another knight shouted. He strutted forward to stand before his king.
And then another and another stepped forward to join in the bids.
Nicholaa had never felt such stark humiliation before. She straightened her shoulders in reaction as she tried to block the shouts and fuel her anger at the same time. She needed to stay furious inside so she wouldn't break down and weep. But the humiliation, the degradation, was making her too sick to concentrate on much of anything.
The three little girls, all dressed like ladies, in long, flowing gowns, were now chasing one another in a spontaneous game of tag. They ran in wide circles around Nicholaa.
Where was Royce? Why was he letting this happen to her?
She forced herself to block any thoughts of him and tried to picture little Ulric in her mind. Royce had told her to keep Ulric's future in her thoughts whenever she was tempted to do something foolish.
She thought she might like to kill the king of England. Was that foolish? William alone was responsible for the disgrace she was now suffering. If he'd left England alone, none of this would be taking place.
It was a foolish plan. She couldn't kill the king. She'd never get away with it. She didn't even have a weapon. She was a good distance away from the platform where the king and his wife were seated, a good distance, too, from the gawking crowd bidding for her.
She still hadn't heard Royce's distinctive voice enter into the bidding. Was he even in the crowd or had he already left for Normandy? God's truth, she wanted to kill him, too.
An ear-piercing scream turned Nicholaa's attention. It was a child's voice. Nicholaa turned just in time to see one of the little girls screaming in agony. The child's gown had caught on fire. The flames were licking their way up the backs of her legs.
Nicholaa pulled the child up against her own gown and used her skirt and her hands to beat the flames out.
The fire was extinguished before any of the soldiers could give assistance. Nicholaa knelt on the floor, tore the remnants of the gown away from the little girl, and then hugged her tight, whispering words of comfort all the while.
The child clung to her savior, whimpering softly against her neck.
No one seemed capable of moving for a long minute. Then the child's mother let out a scream and came running across the hall.
Nicholaa stood up with the little girl still clinging to her neck. She transferred the child into her mother's outstretched arms. "She's still frightened," Nicholaa whispered, "but I don't believe she suffered any serious burns."
King William had bounded out of his chair as soon as the child's tortured scream reached him. His wife stood by his side with her hands clasped over her mouth.
They both watched as the mother accepted her daughter. The little girl turned back at the last second and loudly kissed Nicholaa on her cheek. "You are a princess," she whispered. "You saved me."
The child's mother wept with relief. "Yes, she did save you," she agreed. She hugged her daughter and turned to smile at Nicholaa. "I would thank you properly," she said. She started to bow low, then let out another scream. "Dear heaven, look at your hands. You've blisters already."
Nicholaa didn't want to look at her hands. If she saw the damage, she knew it would hurt even more. Her left hand and arm throbbed far more than the right did. 'Twas the truth the burns felt as though she were holding a burning log in her hands.
She glanced up and saw Royce making his way toward her. She spotted him through the haze of tears burring her vision.
It was about time, she thought to herself. He damn well should come to her. This was all his fault... wasn't it?
She couldn't seem to concentrate. The crowd swelled around her. Nicholaa took a step back. She hid her hands behind her back.
She desperately wanted Royce to get to her so that she could tell him to go away.
"Let me see your hands, Nicholaa."
He was standing so close to her; all she had to do was lean forward and she'd be touching him. He might put his arm around her shoulders and offer her comfort.
She vowed she'd smack him if he touched her.
Dear Lord, she wasn't making any sense. She shook her head and took another step back.
"Make way, make way."
The shrill feminine demand forced the crowd aside. Royce moved to her side, and Nicholaa suddenly found herself staring down at the king's wife.
Lord, she was short. The top of Matilda's head only reached Nicholaa's shoulders. The woman had the bearing of a commander, though. "Give me your hands. Now."
Nicholaa didn't argue. She showed the woman her burns. Determined not to look at her hands, she stared over Matilda's head while the queen examined her injuries.
"You must be in terrible pain, my dear. Come, I shall personally supervise your care. William?" she called out. "There will be no more talk of challenging until we return."
The king was in complete agreement. Matilda tried to take hold of Nicholaa's elbow, but ended up grasping air, for Nicholaa moved like lightning to get closer to Royce. She was literally snuggled up against his side before Matilda could blink.
The action was telling. Matilda looked at her loyal vassal, then at the Saxon woman and back at Royce again. "You may come along with us, Baron," she announced.
Nicholaa allowed the queen to take hold of her elbow then. Matilda tried not to smile. She noticed that when she led Nicholaa out of the hall and down the corridor, the lovely young lady kept glancing back over her shoulder to make certain Royce was following.
He was right behind her. Relief swept through Nicholaa, though she couldn't imagine why. Oh, yes, now she remembered. This was all his fault and she needed to tell him so.
He was only doing his duty by dragging her to
London. That logical thought popped into her mind all of the sudden. She pushed it aside. She didn't want to be logical now.
"You're a very courageous woman, Lady Nicholaa," said Matilda. "The little girl you saved is my dear niece. We're all in your debt." She paused to give Nicholaa a penetrating look, then added, "She's Norman, but that didn't seem to make any difference to you, did it?"
Nicholaa shook her head. She wished Matilda would quit being so solicitous. She looked back over her shoulder and gave Royce a wait-until-I-get-you-alone glare.
He winked at her.
"You're responsible for this, Royce," she whispered.
Matilda heard her. "No, dear, it was an accident," she said. She motioned for the guards to open the door to Nicholaa's chamber, then marched inside.
Royce had to nudge Nicholaa forward.
The next fifteen minutes were sheer agony for Nicholaa. While the king's bossy wife issued her orders, her personal healer---a wrinkled old man named Samuel who looked in dire need of a healer of his own---arrived with three servants. The women put their supplies down on the wooden chest, bowed to Matilda, and then backed out of the room.
Royce stood at Nicholaa's side, his hands clasped behind his back, when the healer began his ministrations. Matilda stood near the window, her arms folded across her ample bosom, her gaze as sharp as a hawk's as she watched the couple.
Nicholaa had refused to take to her bed. She sat on a stool. Her back was as straight as a lance, her expression devoid of all emotion as she stared off into space.
Baron Samuel sat on a stool facing his patient. He cleaned the burns with cool water and then spread a thick brown salve from her fingertips to her elbows.
The cleansing had hurt like fire, but the cooling salve had a soothing effect on her skin. Nicholaa didn't realize she was leaning against Royce's thigh. Matilda noticed, though, and she couldn't contain her smile this time.
"She'll have a few scars," Samuel told Matilda after he'd finished wrapping the injuries with soft white cotton strips.
Royce assisted the old man to his feet. Samuel's knees crackled louder than the logs in the hearth.
"I'll send you a sleeping draft," he told Nicholaa. "It will ease your pain and help you rest."
"Thank you," she whispered.
They were the first words she'd uttered since the healer had entered the chamber. His smile was broad. "I'll return tomorrow to change your bandages."
She thanked him again. Matilda's piercing gaze kept turning from Nicholaa's serene expression to Royce's worried one.
"Are you in pain now, Nicholaa?" Royce asked.
The compassion in his voice was almost her undoing. "Don't you dare be kind to me, you scoundrel."
"Royce, would you leave us now?" Matilda requested.
He didn't want to leave. That was very obvious to Matilda. The baron did her bidding, of course, just as she knew he would, but he paused at the door to give Nicholaa a long hard look before he bowed and left the chamber.
"What was that frown all about?" Matilda asked.
"It's his you'd-better-behave-yourself glare," she answered.
Matilda walked over to stand in front of Nicholaa. She brushed Nicholaa's hair back over her shoulders in a motherly gesture. "It was Baron Royce's duty to bring you to us. Why do you blame him?"
Nicholaa shrugged. "Because he was so cheerful about it," she remarked. "And it makes me feel better to blame him."
She glanced up in time to catch Matilda's smile. "I know Baron Royce is your loyal servant, my lady. You probably appreciate him, but I must tell you I find him insufferable."
"Did he mistreat you?"
"No."
"Then why do you find him insufferable?"
"He's rude, arrogant, and..." Nicholaa stopped when she saw how amused Matilda was. That reaction thoroughly confused her. She was insulting one of the king's most favored knights, wasn't she?
"If Royce had left you at the abbey, my dear niece would have been severely burned before my worthy knights could have saved her. So you see, Nicholaa, it was God's will that you were here to save the child. Do you argue with me?"
Her tone suggested Nicholaa agree. "I won't argue with you," she said. In her heart she knew Matilda was wrong, though. Her coming here hadn't been God's will at all. It was William's decision, and that was that.
"Tell me what you see when you look at Royce." Nicholaa thought that was a peculiar request. She didn't want to talk about Royce anymore. Still, it would have been rude to ignore the question. "I see a very stubborn man."
"And?"
"A vain man," Nicholaa answered.
Matilda looked startled. "Vain, you say?"
Nicholaa nodded. "I know you don't want to hear about your baron's flaws, but Royce is vain. He knows his appeal."
"Explain to me exactly how you feel about his appearance," Matilda prodded.
Nicholaa decided from the determined look on Matilda's face she wouldn't let up until she had her answers. She wasn't going to soften the truth, though, when she gave her opinion. "He has dark, handsome looks, and he knows it. Even I will admit that I've admired his beautiful gray eyes. I'd have to be blind not to notice, my lady. He also has a strong profile."
"You noticed that, too, did you?" Matilda asked, smiling.
"Yes," Nicholaa said with a sigh. "Then he gives me one of his lectures, and I forget how handsome he is. I just want to shout at him. Do tell me why you're smiling. I am insulting one of your barons, and I would expect you to take exception to my remarks."
Matilda shook her head. "You're telling me what's inside your heart."
"Royce means nothing to me," Nicholaa announced. "The man's a barbarian. He has the manners of a..." She started to say that Royce had the manners of a Norman, but caught herself in time. "A dog."
Matilda nodded. She walked over to the door. "I shall have the servants help you change your clothing. Are you up to returning to the hall and finishing this contest?"
Nicholaa nodded. She wanted to get the ordeal over and done with. "I'll give you fair warning, my lady," she called out. "I won't be a good wife. I'll make whoever weds me miserable for the rest of his days."
She meant the remark as a threat, but Matilda misunderstood. Her smile was gentle. "Do not berate yourself, my dear. I'm certain you have enough good qualities to keep your husband content for the rest of his days."
"But I meant..."
Nicholaa didn't get a chance to explain. Matilda had already left. Mary and Heloise came rushing into the chamber then, and she turned her attention to the matter of keeping their hands off her. She was determined to be left alone, and she determined not to change her gown.
Matilda hurried back to the hall. She didn't pause to speak to anyone but continued until she was once again standing by her husband on the platform. William was sprawled out in his chair. He held a silver goblet of ale in one hand.
His wife whispered into his ear. It was a lengthy, one-sided conversation. Matilda paused several times to dab at her eyes with her linen square, and when she'd finished her explanation, William was smiling. He took hold of his wife's hand and kissed it.
The king handed the goblet to his squire, then motioned for silence. In a loud, booming voice he ordered all the married knights, along with their wives and children, to leave the hall. The unattached knights were to remain where they were.
Royce thought the order odd, and the puzzled expressions on his friends' faces told him they thought it peculiar, too. No one questioned the king, though. Royce walked back to his place against the far wall, for it gave him the best unblocked view of the double doors where Nicholaa would reenter the room. He nodded to Lawrence and then leaned back to wait. The doors were finally opened. Everyone, including the king of England and his wife, turned to watch Lady Nicholaa walk into the hall.
Those who had been sitting quickly gained their feet. Someone started clapping. Then another joined in, and another and another, until the hall was a thunder of noise.
King William didn't stand, but he did join in the applause. Nicholaa didn't understand what was happening. She came to an abrupt stop and almost turned around to see who was standing behind her drawing everyone's cheers.
From her expression, Royce could tell she didn't realize the crowd was paying her a tribute. She didn't appear rattled by the noise, however. Nay, she looked quite serene.
And lovely. She was dressed in a deep blue chainse and bliaut. Royce thought the color was even more beautiful on her than the white gown she'd worn into the hall an hour before.
King William motioned Nicholaa forward. She hesitated for the barest of seconds before doing as he commanded.
Royce frowned over the lustful gazes some of the knights wore as they watched Nicholaa walk toward their king. He had an almost overwhelming urge to beat the soldiers to a bloody pulp.
In that minute of raw possessiveness and true jealousy, he knew what he had to do.
"What has you scowling, Royce?" Lawrence asked.
"Nothing has me scowling," Royce muttered. "Damn it, Lawrence, Nicholaa has to be in severe pain. Look at those bandages. They cover most of her arms. She should be resting."
"That is for our overlord to decide," Lawrence remarked. "Perhaps he thinks it best to get the ordeal finished," he added before turning back to watch Nicholaa.
In truth, Nicholaa wasn't feeling any pain at all. Baron Samuel had promised her the salve contained a special ingredient that would numb the burns. He'd been true in giving her that promise.
She walked over to stand in front of the four steps that led up to the platform. She couldn't have knelt down if she'd wanted to, because she couldn't grasp the hem of her gown to move it out of her way.
William noticed the slight. He leaned forward in his chair. "You do not kneel before me?"
A frown was settling on his harsh features when his wife interjected, "She cannot kneel, husband. Her hands are bandaged, and she can't catch hold of her skirts. She'll fall on her face if she tries. Nicholaa dear," she called out. "Bow your head. That will please your king."
William nodded. He looked appeased by his wife's explanation.
Nicholaa realized she could defy the king then and there.
And what would become of Ulric?
She bowed her head.
William chuckled. "You've shown great courage," he announced in a near shout so everyone would be sure to hear his praise. "I had thought to allow my knights to compete for your hand in marriage, but now I've changed my mind. You will have the choice."
Her head came up with a start. The king smiled at the surprise he'd given her. "Yes, you shall choose your husband," he said. "Turn and take their measure, my dear. They are now the prizes, Lady Nicholaa. All are worthy soldiers. Prod each one if you wish; question each, too. If it takes you the rest of the night to make your decision, so be it. We'll wait. The marriage will take place as soon as you've made your choice."
Baron Guy let out a hoot of laughter. He adjusted his red tunic and took a step forward. One of his vassals nudged him in the ribs and gave him a knowing grin.
There wasn't any doubt in Guy's mind that she would choose him. He didn't believe he was being the least bit conceited in that judgment, either. He recognized his value. He was a handsome man, perhaps the most handsome baron in William's army. Women tripped all over their hems just to get near him. And why not? He had thick blond hair, perfect hazel eyes, white teeth, and a commanding nature. He was also tall, reed thin, and possessed the physical endurance of three ordinary men put together. What more could any woman want?
Yes, she would choose him. He just needed to get her attention. Then he'd smile at her, and she would be his for the plucking.
As soon as Lady Nicholaa turned and started through the crowd, Guy moved to one side and barred her path. He smiled. She stopped, turned her gaze up to look into his eyes, and smiled back.
And then she skirted her way around him and continued on.
He couldn't believe she'd rejected him. He reached out to touch her arm. Nicholaa shrugged it away.
Guy could feel his face turning red with embarrassment. His hands became fists at his side, and it took all the restraint he had not to grab her shoulders and demand she choose him. With an effort, he forced himself to feign indifference.
Guy's two favored vassals, Morgan and Henry, moved to flank their baron. Not even trying to hide their anger, they openly scowled at Nicholaa's back.
Nicholaa had no idea of the fury she'd caused. Her attention was solely directed on one man. Royce. He was leaning against the far wall, looking very bored, almost sleepy.
But he was staring at her.
The closer she got, the more worried he looked. She tried not to smile.
She could feel the tension in the hall. Most of it, she thought, came from Royce. None of the barons could possibly like this turn of the tables, for one of them had just become the coveted prize, the possession.
She really should have felt a little compassion for the knights. She didn't, though. She was too busy gloating.
Lord, it was a fine moment.
Nicholaa continued to move through the crowd until she reached Royce. When she was just a foot away from him, she stopped. She didn't say a word, just looked up at him for the longest while.
He couldn't believe she was standing there. He shook his head.
She nodded. "Royce?" She said his name in a whisper, but he heard it all the same.
"Yes, Nicholaa?"
Her smile captivated him. She motioned for him to come closer. And then she stretched up on tiptoes and whispered into his ear.
"Checkmate."
They were married a scant half hour later.
Both the bride and the groom acted like the guests of honor at a human sacrifice. Theirs.
Nicholaa refused to look up at Royce. She knew he had to be furious.
He kept his gaze directed at the top of her head throughout the brief ceremony. He thought she'd lost her mind.
The queen was the only one who looked thoroughly pleased. She kept dabbing at the corners of her eyes while the bishop recited the ritual. It was an unusual display of emotion, for Matilda wasn't one to let her feelings be known to anyone but her husband.
After the promises were given, Royce bent down to kiss his bride. Nicholaa didn't have time to get ready. His mouth was there and gone before she could even react.
The married couples and their children had been allowed back inside the hall to watch the ceremony. They surged forward now to offer their congratulations. Men nodded to Nicholaa while their wives, unable to grasp her hands because of the bandages, gently patted her shoulder and offered her their best wishes for a happy future.
The crowd suddenly moved back again, as though an unspoken command had been given and everyone but Nicholaa had heard it. She glanced up to judge Royce's reaction to this oddity. He ignored her and kept his gaze directed on the crowd. She peeked around her husband to look at the vassal standing next to him. She remembered that his name was Lawrence. He was Royce's second-in-command and had been the first knight to greet them when they'd arrived in London.
Lawrence noticed she was staring at him. He winked at her. She blushed, then smiled back. She would have spoken to him if Royce hadn't taken hold of her arm and pulled her back.
Her attention turned to the crowd again. One of Royce's vassals came forward. Nicholaa was astonished when he knelt in front of her, placed his hand over his heart, and vowed his loyalty. To her.
And then another and another came forward to kneel in front of her. After each man had given his pledge, Royce nodded.
She felt humbled and confused by their promises. Had they forgotten she was Saxon? They must have, she decided, or they wouldn't have vowed to give up their lives just to keep her safe.
Royce never looked at Nicholaa while his vassals took turns coming forward. He knew she was nervous, though. She kept edging closer and closer to him until she'd squeezed herself up tight against his side.
The king watched from the platform. When the last of Royce's vassals had given his pledge, William came lumbering down the steps.
The king whacked Royce on the shoulder, then reached out and hauled Nicholaa into his arms. He gave her a fierce embrace before nudging her back to Royce. She was just getting over that surprise when the king patted her shoulder. The affectionate gesture nearly felled her.
Royce caught her. He pulled her back into his side, put his arm around her shoulders, and anchored her.
"I'm very pleased with this marriage," the king announced. "You've chosen well, Lady Nicholaa." He paused to give a dramatic eyebrow-lifting nod. "My dear wife was correct, as always. She told me you'd choose my most favored baron. Aye, sweet Matilda made just that prediction."
Nicholaa couldn't stop herself from smiling. It was amusing to see such a fierce giant of a man acting so love-struck by his tiny wife. Heartwarming, too. It was apparent they were very much in love. In these advanced times, when the heart's preference was placed on the bottom of everyone's list of priorities in choosing a mate, it seemed a true miracle that William actually loved Matilda and that she returned those tender feelings.
It made Nicholaa like the couple all the more. The bond of respect and trust between husband and wife reminded Nicholaa of her own parents.
Heavens, what was the matter with her? She wasn't supposed to like the king and his wife. It was disloyal, wasn't it?
But disloyal to whom? The Saxon king had been dead nearly three months now. The Normans were firmly entrenched, and there didn't seem to be any faction strong enough to challenge them. It was such a confusion to her. She needed time to sort it all out.
A voice from the crowd caught her attention. "Perhaps Lady Nicholaa made that choice because Royce was the only knight she knew. Had you sent me to fetch her, she surely would have chosen me."
It was the man who'd tried to block her path when she walked through the crowd to Royce. Nicholaa watched him walk forward as he made that outrageous boast, his stride every bit as arrogant as his remark. He was smiling, but Nicholaa didn't think it was a sincere smile. His eyes looked as cold as frost.
She didn't like him.
Two vassals had moved to flank the boastful knight. Nicholaa didn't look up at their faces until she was formally introduced.
"Nicholaa," Royce said, "may I present Baron Guy and his vassals, Morgan and Henry."
Baron Guy made a low bow; his vassals rudely stood tall. Nicholaa inclined her head to Guy, then turned to look at his vassals.
She wished she hadn't bothered. The anger she saw on their faces almost took her breath away. Their disapproval bordered on hatred.
Instantly she knew they both had black hearts, and just as quickly she realized the absurdity of such a fast judgment. She didn't even know them. She still edged a little closer to Royce's side, but she couldn't seem to stop herself from shivering.
They were only men, she told herself. Ugly men at that. The one called Morgan had dark brown hair and hazel eyes. He was identical in size to the one named Henry, though Henry's hair was much lighter and his eyes were brown. The ugliness was a result of their scowls, Nicholaa decided, and their thoughts.
Did they hate her because she was Saxon or because she hadn't chosen their liege lord? Nicholaa decided it didn't matter. They were damned rude, and if that wasn't offensive, she didn't know what was.
King William whacked Royce's shoulder again. "What say you to Baron Guy's boast? Do you think Nicholaa would have chosen him over you if he'd been the one to escort her to London?"
Royce shrugged. Nicholaa wanted to nudge him in his ribs. Did he have to act so bored? She stepped on his foot instead.
"Perhaps," Royce allowed.
"My friend has such good fortune," Guy interjected. His gaze returned to Nicholaa. "And now you, dear lady, will forever be denied the joy of having me for your mate." He paused to sigh. " 'Tis a pity."
Morgan and Henry snickered in unison.
Why was Guy mocking her and Royce? Nicholaa was certain that's exactly what he was doing, but she didn't understand his reason. She looked up to judge Royce's reaction. Her husband's expression didn't tell her anything, though.
"Do you wish us well, Guy?" Royce asked in a voice as mild as a summer breeze.
Guy took a long time answering. The atmosphere turned brittle with tension. What in God's name was going on? It was as though a game was in play and Nicholaa was the only one who wasn't taking part. Her stomach turned queasy, and she suddenly felt threatened.
Then Royce tightened his hold on her shoulders and gave her a quick squeeze. Her fear vanished. She didn't know what to make of that reaction, either.
The Normans were making her daft.
Guy still hadn't answered Royce's question. Several vassals moved forward, obviously intent on listening to the conversation. Lawrence took a step forward.
She certainly liked this vassal. Lawrence wasn't hiding his feelings or trying to play this strange game. His scowl was as fierce as a bear's bite. He was properly furious on his baron's behalf. At least he understood the insults Guy was tossing around, even if Royce didn't.
"Of course I wish you well," Guy finally answered. "I'm just surprised," he added with a shrug.
"Why?" Lawrence asked. He folded his arms across his chest and waited for an answer. "Yes, why?" Nicholaa asked. Morgan and Henry both moved forward. Nicholaa thought the two vassals were trying to show their loyalty to their baron and intimidate Lawrence at the same time.
Still Royce showed no outward reaction to the tension surrounding him.
"I was surprised you chose Royce because of his appearance," Guy explained. " 'Tis a fact that his scar offends most women."
Morgan immediately nodded agreement. Henry was the least subtle of the lot. He grinned.
Nicholaa shrugged Royce's arm away from her shoulder and took a step forward. "Are you referring to the handsome mark of valor upon his cheek, Baron?"
Her voice shook his anger. Guy couldn't hide his surprise. The Saxon wench was a spirited woman. That added to her appeal, as did her eyes, which had turned a deep violet. Guy found her quite arousing. Damn but he wanted her.
"Mark of valor?" he repeated. "What an unusual way of looking at the imperfection."
"Boys have perfection," Nicholaa answered. "I chose a man."
That barb hit deep. Guy's face turned pink with embarrassment. Nicholaa would have let the matter drop then and there if the baron hadn't enraged her with his next remark: "Everyone knows you would have been happier with me."
That did it. His superior attitude might not have offended Royce, but it damn well offended her.
Matilda chose that moment to interfere. "Nicholaa," she began, "you have no way of knowing what this is all about, and so I shall explain Guy's peculiar behavior. He's a very competitive man, my dear. He doesn't take defeat lightly. Yet each time he faces Royce in games of strength, Guy comes in second best."
Matilda's voice held a note of censure. Guy bowed his head and tried to look amused instead of furious.
Nicholaa now had her weapon. She knew she'd probably burn in purgatory an extra day or two for the sin she was about to commit, but she couldn't be bothered with that worry now.
"It was kind of you to explain," she said. ''But I already knew Royce is considered the best warrior in your army."
"How would you have come by that knowledge?" Matilda asked.
"Oh, I'd heard about Royce a long time ago," Nicholaa lied. "My brother's soldiers would whisper about him. He'd become a legend. His feats were recounted over and over again. Royce was their most feared adversary."
Nicholaa turned and gave Guy a sympathetic smile. "Odd, but I never heard your name whispered, Baron."
King William laughed. "There you are, Guy," he announced. "You have your answer. She would have chosen Royce even if you'd gone to fetch her."
Nicholaa nodded. She smiled at Morgan, then at Henry. "Aye," she agreed. "I wanted the best."
It took a supreme act of concentration for Guy to smile back. "I've been properly answered."
Someone shouted for a toast to the groom, and the tension was broken. Guy walked across the hall with Henry by his side. Morgan lingered.
The angry vassal was intent on whispering a threat or two, but Royce wouldn't let him. He nudged Morgan forward and away from Nicholaa, then motioned for Lawrence to stand by her side.
Her husband hadn't even looked at her before he was dragged away by his friends. Nicholaa didn't know if he was pleased by her defense or angry.
Matilda couldn't have been more pleased, however. "Baron Guy is sinfully jealous of Royce, but he's also loyal to his king. I try not to forget that." She turned to smile at Lawrence. "It's a sound match," she told the vassal. "Nicholaa's already loyal to Royce. In time I believe she'll give him her heart."
Nicholaa didn't delude herself. Royce wasn't the type of man who would accept her love---assuming she was in the mood to give it, she qualified. She let out a sigh then, realizing how addled her thoughts had become.
"Did you love William when first you met?" she asked.
Matilda laughed. "No, dear, he courted me for seven years. I finally agreed to marry him, and from that moment on, he had my love. I pray it won't take Royce that long to win yours."
Nicholaa wondered what had changed Matilda's mind after such a long time, but didn't feel she could prod her to explain. Besides, she had another question on her mind. "I was wondering," she began, "how you knew I would choose Royce. I did hear your husband say you knew I would, and I don't understand---"
"It was a simple conclusion," Matilda answered. "When I asked you to tell me how you felt about Royce's appearance it was what you didn't mention that gave me my answer. I'd already guessed it would be a fitting match," she added, patting her hair. "It's what you didn't see."
Nicholaa had no idea what the woman was talking about. "What didn't I see?"
"The scar."
Well, of course she saw the scar when she looked at Royce. It covered half his cheek after all. And just what did that have to do with anything?
Matilda turned to Lawrence. "Your new mistress told me she believes Royce to be a vain man."
Lawrence laughed. Nicholaa could feel herself turning pink with embarrassment.
Matilda patted her arm. "Come along now," she ordered. "You must return to your chamber to await your husband. We aren't allowed to join in tonight's celebration. Tomorrow night you'll have your festive dinner, Nicholaa, but tonight belongs to the men. It's for the better," she added with a nod. "You look exhausted from all the chaos. It was a lovely ceremony, wasn't it?" she continued. "Don't dally, Nicholaa. I shall walk with you part of the distance. Lawrence? You may have the honor of escorting us."
The vassal bowed low. He couldn't seem to quit smiling. He'd overheard Matilda's remarks about Royce's scar and had seen Nicholaa's confused reaction. He couldn't have been more pleased. Nicholaa was a fitting choice for his baron.
Matilda took Nicholaa's elbow and walked toward the doors. Her guards fell into step behind Lawrence.
Nicholaa was exhausted. The evening had been overwhelming. It had drained her strength, she decided. Everyone was being so kind to her, everyone except Baron Guy's mean-hearted vassals, but those two didn't signify.
Was it really possible for the Normans and the Saxons to live together in harmony?
The king's wife waved farewell when she turned down the south corridor. Her attendants rushed to catch up with her. Lawrence walked by Nicholaa's side down the north hallway.
"Will you accompany Baron Royce to my home when we leave here?" she asked.
"I would imagine so," Lawrence answered.
She looked up and caught his smile. "You're pleased to be staying in England?"
He shrugged.
"Then why are you smiling?" she asked.
He debated a minute before giving her his answer. "I was remembering the look on Royce's face when you walked up to him. I don't believe my lord expected you to choose him."
She lowered her gaze. "Do you think I've ruined his life?" she whispered.
"I think you've enhanced it," he returned. "Lady Nicholaa, I wouldn't be smiling if I believed otherwise."
It was a lovely compliment he'd just given her. Nicholaa didn't know how to respond. She looked up at him and suddenly burst into laughter. "He was surprised, wasn't he?"
"Aye, he was," Lawrence agreed.
Two soldiers stood guard in front of her door. Lawrence bowed to his new mistress, opened the door for her, and then turned to leave.
"Lawrence?"
He immediately stopped.
"Thank you."
"For what, my lady?"
"For accepting me." She shut the door before he could respond.
Lawrence whistled on his way back to the great hall. The irritation of having to put up with Baron Guy's foolishness was gone now. His new mistress's smile had brightened his mood considerably. Yes, he thought to himself, she would enhance his baron's life. She would bring light into his dreary, disciplined existence. It wouldn't be long, Lawrence wagered, before she had Royce smiling. That would take magic, the vassal knew, but Nicholaa was up to the challenge.
Nicholaa was too exhausted to think about anything other than going to bed. Mary was waiting to assist her. She kept up a steady stream of chatter while she helped Nicholaa undress. After her mistress had bathed and changed into a long white nightgown, Mary brushed her hair.
"You're the talk of the palace," Mary announced. 'Such bravery, they're all whispering, the way you saved the king's niece. Here now, milady, drink this down," she pleaded after she'd tucked Nicholaa under the covers. "Baron Samuel sent this draft to ease your pain."
Mary didn't let up her nagging until Nicholaa had swallowed the last drop.
Nicholaa fell into a deep sleep minutes later. Mary went over to the stool by the hearth to watch over her mistress until Baron Royce dismissed her for the night.
A full hour passed before Royce was able to leave the hall. When he entered his chamber, the servant jumped to attention.
"You wife is having a very fitful sleep, milord," Mary whispered. "She cries out in fear. I tried to wake her from her nightmare but the draft she took makes that impossible."
Royce nodded. He surprised the servant by thanking her for her assistance; then he dismissed her.
He barred the door against intruders and walked to the side of the bed. Nicholaa was frowning in her sleep. He gently brushed his hand across her brow. "You've had one hell of a week, haven't you, Nicholaa?"
She muttered something in her sleep, then rolled onto her side. The weight of her body on her burned hand made her cry out in pain.
He gently turned her onto her back again, then stood there for a long while staring down at her. Dear God, she really belonged to him now. He shook his head. What was he supposed to do with her?
A slow grin settled on his face. Protect her, and her family as well. That had become his primary duty. It didn't matter who had made the choice; the deed was done. It didn't matter, either, that he was set in his ways and that he liked order and discipline in his life. Everything was going to change now. She'd give him fits before she calmed down and learned to accept her new station in life. Odd, but he found he was looking forward to the challenge of taming Nicholaa. If he was patient and understanding with her, he didn't think it would take him long to win her loyalty. The way she'd stood up to Guy had shown him she was capable of being loyal to others outside her family.
He doubted Nicholaa would ever love him. That didn't matter, of course, as love had little meaning to him. He was a warrior, and warriors neither wanted nor needed love. He was out to conquer Nicholaa's mind, not her heart. He would use a firm though gentle hand while he trained her to be his wife.
It was a sound, logical plan. Royce put the matter aside and prepared for bed.
It felt strange to sleep next to a woman. He had bedded a fair number of wenches, of course, but he'd never slept the night through with any of them.
She wasn't making it an easy adjustment either. When she wasn't muttering incoherent phrases, she was tossing and turning like an errant wave. Each time she moved, she bumped one of her injured hands and cried out in pain.
Royce tried to help her get comfortable. It was a damn difficult task. She wouldn't stay still long enough for him to anchor her.
Just when he was finally drifting off to sleep, she bolted up in the bed. "I want to sleep on my stomach," she muttered.
Royce didn't think she even knew where she was; she hadn't even opened her eyes when she blurted out that demand. When she kicked the covers aside and tried to get out of the bed, he grabbed her.
She went limp in his arms. He was about to haul her up against his side, but she suddenly turned around. She ended up sprawled on top of him.
Nicholaa finally found a comfortable position. She let out a little sigh of pleasure and stopped squirming.
The top of her head was tucked under his chin. Her soft breasts were pressed against his bare chest. Her pelvis was right on top of his, and her legs were draped over one of his thighs.
He adjusted her position until her legs were between his own, then wrapped his arms around her waist.
She was all soft and feminine. She smelled as good as she felt, too. They were a nice fit, he thought to himself. That thought led to another and another, of course, and it wasn't long before Royce was damned uncomfortable.
He tried to go to sleep, but her warm body kept getting in his thoughts. All he wanted to think about was making love to her.
She squirmed.
He groaned.
It was a wedding night he would never forget.
It was midafternoon before Nicholaa awakened. She spent an hour stumbling around the room, trying to clear her mind of the effects of the powerful sleeping drug.
Lord, she'd slept like the dead. Odd, but she didn't feel the least bit refreshed after her long rest, either.
Mary found her mistress sitting on the side of the bed when she entered the chamber a short time later. The servant carried a beautiful white bliaut and chainse. The sleeves of the bliaut were embroidered with gold threads, and the chainse had the same distinctive design sewn into the hem. The fabric looked delicate enough to shred with a good sneeze. It felt wonderfully soft against Nicholaa's cheek.
"Who sends this to me?" Nicholaa asked.
"The king's wife," Mary answered. "You've won her affection," she added with a nod. "She even sent along gold threads to weave through your hair. You're to sit with your husband at the king's table for tonight's celebration, milady."
Nicholaa didn't show any reaction to that announcement. She knew she probably should show some enthusiasm over the honor of dining with the king of England. She couldn't, though. She still felt a little dull-witted from the draft she'd taken. She was homesick, too, and all she wanted was to be left alone for a while.
She didn't get that wish. The next several hours were spent on practical matters. After she'd been bathed and dressed in the elegant garments, Nicholaa did feel better. Mary brushed her hair thoroughly, poking and tugging until Nicholaa was ready to scream. She wasn't used to being pampered, but she didn't want to hurt Mary's feelings, and so she put up with the nuisance. The servant couldn't seem to get the gold threads to stay in her mistress's curls, though. Nicholaa finally ordered her to stop trying.
Baron Samuel and his staff arrived then to see to Nicholaa's injuries. She couldn't persuade the healer to leave her hands unbandaged, though she was able to elicit from him a promise that the wrapping would stay on for only one more night.
She kept expecting Royce to pay her a visit. She hadn't seen him since the wedding, after all, and she thought it would be proper for him at least to look in on her. By the dinner hour, she was good and pricked by his rudeness. It was obvious to her that Royce was ignoring her.
Mary kept fawning over her. Nicholaa wasn't used to hearing how pretty she was, and the servant's compliments soon had her blushing with embarrassment. In desperation, she sent Mary to get her fresh water just so she could have a few minutes of peace and quiet. The servant left the door ajar. When Nicholaa saw that two soldiers stood guard in the hallway, she was irritated. Was she still a prisoner, then? She decided to find out. She walked over to the entrance, nudged the door wider with the toe of her shoe, and bowed to the men.
The soldiers were staring at her, clearly astonished. She wondered about their amazement even as she bade the men good day.
"You're a worthy bride for our lord," one blurted out.
The other nodded. "Aye, you are."
Nicholaa thanked the soldiers for their kind remarks, then asked, "Why do you guard my door?"
The taller soldier answered. "Baron Royce has ordered us to stay here, milady."
"For what purpose?"
"To protect you," the soldier answered. "You're our mistress now," he added with a dramatic bow.
"Then I'm allowed to leave without interference?"
Both soldiers nodded. "We would be honored to escort you to your destination," he explained.
Nicholaa felt better. She wasn't a prisoner, after all. "Would you please escort me to my husband's quarters?" she requested. "I have need to speak to him."
The two men shared a look before turning back to their mistress. "But you're already inside his chamber," the shorter one said.
Then where had Royce slept? Nicholaa wasn't about to ask that question. The answer might prove humiliating. She nodded to the soldiers and was about to nudge the door closed again when Lawrence came rushing down the hallway.
"Are you ready for your supper, Lady Nicholaa?"
"Where is my husband?" she asked.
"He's waiting for you in the great hall," Lawrence answered. "If you would allow me to escort you, my lady, I'll take you to him."
The man couldn't even be bothered to come and fetch his wife? Nicholaa hid her frown. She told herself she didn't care. It was all right with her if he wanted to sleep in someone else's bed. He could keep right on ignoring her, too.
No, she didn't care at all. Nicholaa kept telling herself that lie as she walked by Lawrence's side.
The great hall was filled to capacity. She found Royce right away. He was the tallest warrior in the room, which made her task easy. His back was turned to her, and he was surrounded by acquaintances.
A hush fell over the crowd when she and Lawrence walked inside. Everyone seemed to be staring in her direction. She couldn't imagine why. "Who is everyone staring at, Lawrence?" she asked.
"You."
He couldn't have been more blunt than that, she supposed. Her heartbeat quickened. "I thought they accepted me," she whispered.
Lawrence smiled. "They do accept you, my lady. This festive dinner is for you and Royce."
Nicholaa was too busy feeling awkward to be appeased by his explanation. She didn't like being the center of attention. She didn't like being ignored by her husband, either. She stared at Royce's back while she waited for him to come to her.
"I'll take you to Royce," Lawrence announced.
She shook her head. "Royce should come to me," she said.
One of the knights speaking to Royce finally noticed her. He stopped talking and nudged her husband.
Royce slowly turned around. His gaze found her immediately of course. She was the most beautiful woman in the hall. Would he ever get used to her? Each time he saw her, he became rattled by her appearance. Her hair shimmered like gold. He liked it the way she wore it today---unbound and swinging loose around her shoulders. He suddenly wanted to touch her.
He had to take a deep breath to gain control of his thoughts. He nodded and arrogantly motioned Lawrence and Nicholaa forward.
She rejected his order by shaking her head at him. Lawrence looked uncomfortable. Royce watched as his vassal leaned down and whispered something into Nicholaa's ear. She shook her head again.
What was her game now? Royce was having difficulty believing what he was seeing. His bride dared to disobey his command? It was unthinkable. He almost laughed, but caught himself in time. He motioned to her again.
His expression showed nothing of what he was thinking---until she beckoned to him. His eyes widened then, and damn, if he didn't find himself shaking his head at her.
Even from the distance separating them, Nicholaa could see a muscle jerk in his cheek. His jaw was clenched tight. He was angry all right. Although she worried over the look in his eyes, she refused to back down. By God, she was his wife and he would come to her.
Royce folded his arms across his chest and continued to stare at her. The message was clear. He wasn't going to budge.
There was only one alternative left: she would have to leave the hall. She wasn't very hungry anyway, she told herself. Besides, Royce would surely come chasing after her, and in the privacy of the corridor she could give him hell for being rude to her. She might take the opportunity to explain his new duties to him, too. First and foremost, she would tell him, a husband should always escort his wife to any important function.
Nicholaa put her plan into action. She thanked Lawrence for his escort, then smiled at Royce. She couldn't manage a curtsy with her bandaged hands, so she inclined her head. Then she turned and walked toward the doorway. "Nicholaa."
His voice made the rafters shake. Nicholaa came to a dead stop. She couldn't believe he'd bellowed her name in front of all the guests. She turned around to look at him, mortified. The entire gathering was once again staring at her, thanks to her inconsiderate husband.
She could feel her cheeks burning with embarrassment. The look in Royce's eyes told her he would continue to make a scene and not be embarrassed at all. She pictured him dragging her to the table by her hair, and that dark thought made her reevaluate her position. God only knew the man was rude enough to go to any length to get what he wanted.
She supposed she'd better let him have his way... this one time. She let out a sigh, slapped a serene expression on her face, and walked across the room. She kept her gaze directed on Royce. If that man dared to smile, she swore to her Maker she'd kick him. She stopped when she was just a foot away from him. "Did you wish something?"
He nodded. He looked complacent to her. She moved a little closer. "You aren't always going to get what you want," she whispered.
"Yes, I am."
She saw the sparkle in his eyes then. "You're an impossible man," she muttered.
"You mentioned that before."
He smiled. She didn't know what to make of that. She bowed her head. He forced her chin back up. Then he slowly leaned down and kissed her. His mouth only brushed her lips for a fleeting second, but it still left her flustered.
She was just regaining her wits after that surprise when he pulled her to his side, draped an arm around her shoulders, and turned back to his friends.
He treated her like a piece of baggage, she thought to herself, but at least he had given her a proper greeting. Lord, he confused her.
That feeling stayed with Nicholaa throughout the long dinner. The man all but ignored her while the meal was served. She was given compliment after compliment from both the men and the ladies, yet somehow their remarks didn't count. Royce hadn't said anything about her appearance, but she didn't care what he thought, she told herself, even as she tried to smooth her hair just so.
Because of the injury to her hands, someone would have to feed her, and that was a humiliation Nicholaa wasn't about to suffer. She turned to whisper just that thought to her husband, but was waylaid when he shoved a piece of meat into her mouth. She chewed instead.
There was such a commotion of laughing and talking going on inside the hall that Nicholaa didn't think anyone was paying her any attention. Matilda sat on her right, but she was in deep discussion with her husband. The topic, Nicholaa chanced to overhear, was their children.
And so she allowed Royce to assist her with her dinner. It helped that he was so nonchalant about the task. He could have ordered his squire to see to the chore, and she found herself thankful that he wasn't making an issue out of her affliction.
"Baron Samuel said he would take my bandages off tomorrow," she told Royce.
He nodded. Then he turned to speak to a baron she hadn't met. She nudged Royce with her foot. He didn't turn back to her.
Nicholaa sat there, feeling all alone and miserable, her burned hands resting in her lap. It didn't take her long to start feeling sorry for herself. Her hands were stinging, and the pain only added to her melancholy mood. She noticed several unattached women giving her husband coy looks. She edged closer to Royce and frowned at the shameless wenches.
She didn't like being ignored. Royce came to that conclusion when she kept squeezing herself closer to his side on the long bench. If she moved again, she'd be sitting on his lap.
He finally took mercy on her. "Are you enjoying yourself, Nicholaa?" he asked.
She lifted her shoulders in a dainty shrug. "Where did you sleep last night?"
Nicholaa turned away from Royce to glare at an ugly redheaded woman who was trying to get her husband's attention. "Well?"
"Look at me when you ask me a question," he commanded.
He patiently waited until she'd complied with that order, then said, "I slept with my wife."
"I'm your wife."
He raised an eyebrow. "Yes, you are."
"You slept with me?"
"That's what I just said, woman."
"You needn't sound irritated. I don't remember last night, and I did wonder. So you slept with me."
She couldn't seem to get it straight in her mind. Royce held his patience. She was such a joy to watch when she was pricked about something. She was certainly pricked now. She was trying not to frown and failing miserably. He decided to goad her a little. "Actually, I slept under you. You were on top."
Her face turned flame red. Royce laughed. The loud booming sound drew several startled glances.
"You made me sleep on top of---"
"You wanted to."
"I was drugged."
"Yes."
Her shoulders straightened. "I'm not taking a draft tonight."
He agreed when he saw how upset she was becoming.
Nicholaa was pulled into a conversation with Matilda then. Royce noticed she didn't move away from his side. She seemed to want to be close to him. He didn't understand why, but he liked having her by his side. It seemed the most natural thing in the world to put his arm around her shoulders. Nicholaa didn't shrug his arm away. A few minutes later, when Matilda finished relating an amusing story about one of her daughters and turned back to her husband, Nicholaa gave in to her weariness and leaned against Royce's side.
To outsiders, she supposed she and Royce looked like a happily wedded couple who couldn't wait to have a bit of time alone together. In part, that was true, Nicholaa thought. She couldn't wait to get Royce alone. And the minute she did, she was going to give that unbending brute a fair piece of her mind. Lord, he was inconsiderate. Why, every time she thought about the way he'd bellowed her name and arrogantly motioned for her to come to him, she started seething.
It didn't take her any time at all to work herself into a fine state of fury. Then Royce ruined it. He started rubbing the tension right out of her shoulders in such a soothing way she couldn't help but snuggle up against him. She yawned, too.
"Do your hands still burn, Nicholaa?" he whispered against her ear.
A shiver of pleasure made her neck tickle. The tenderness in his voice felt like a caress. She knew it probably wasn't proper to be pressed up against his side in front of the guests, but she was too weary to care.
Besides, it was chilly inside the hall and Royce was so incredibly warm. She told herself she only wanted to borrow a little of his heat.
She wiggled a little closer to him before she gave him her answer. "My hands do sting a little, Royce. It isn't unbearable, though."
He started rubbing her shoulders again. She liked that. She liked his scent, too. Royce smelled so clean, so masculine. When he turned back to talk to his friends, she didn't feel as though he was completely ignoring her anymore, because every now and then he'd gently stroke the back of her neck or brush his hand against her upper arm, just to let her know, she thought, that he hadn't forgotten her.
King William suddenly stood up, waved his hand for silence, and then commanded that Sir Clayton come forward.
A tall, thin man with a long, narrow nose and thick jowls separated himself from the group and made a low bow. He was dressed in purple garb, a bright red cape draped across one shoulder.
King William took his seat, and everyone hurried to find a chair. In a matter of minutes silence reigned in the hall.
Clayton made quite a flourish when he motioned for his assistants to come forward. Two young men, dressed alike, stood on either side of Clayton. The assistants held trumpets in their hands.
Nicholaa straightened away from Royce's side, her curiosity piqued. She assumed the trio would sing for the gathering.
King William clapped his hands. The assistants sounded the trumpets, then walked forward. Clayton followed.
Royce was also watching now. He leaned back against the bench, then nudged Nicholaa to do the same.
She turned to smile at him. "Are they going to sing for us?" she whispered.
He shook his head. "That's Clayton the herald," he explained.
Nicholaa didn't understand. She knew that the herald was the living memory of the times, the history teller of important events. The Saxons also used heralds, of course, and although she knew what the duties were, she couldn't imagine why Clayton was giving an accounting now.
She leaned into Royce's side again. "Is he going to tell what happened at Hastings?" she whispered.
He shook his head. "He's going to recount a special legend, Nicholaa. Pay attention. You'll understand soon enough."
Clayton had already begun his tale. Nicholaa caught the end of his remarks about the importance of securing a lucrative holding in King William's name. The herald's voice was strong yet musical, too. In no time at all, Nicholaa had become engrossed in the remarkable story.
Clayton paused, turned to smile at Nicholaa, and then turned back to the group and continued. "Three other Norman knights had tried to capture the Saxon. Each man had failed.
"Sir Gregory was the first to request the challenge. The eager young knight, bold in heart and soul, was anxious to prove his value to his overlord. He begged to be given the duty, and when his plea was granted, the knight boasted to everyone within shouting distance that he would return victorious in less than a week's time. The rumors, after all, whispered that it wasn't a Saxon warrior in charge of the stronghold, and if that talk turned out to be true, the battle wouldn't be worthy of a single retelling. Gregory was so confident of his success that he took only thirty soldiers with him, and he fairly strutted out of the camp."
A loud round of laughter erupted from the crowd. Clayton waited until the noise had died down, then continued. "Alas," he drawled in a long sigh, "Sir Gregory didn't strut back. He couldn't, for the arrow protruding from his backside made an arrogant swagger impossible. As soon as the arrow was pulled free from his flesh, the now humble Gregory threw himself on his knees in front of his leader. His head, I assure you, was bowed low enough to touch the ground. After admitting his failure, the knight begged our beloved William to have off with his head for his shame." Nicholaa let out a little gasp. King William was chuckling over the story and dabbing at his eyes with a linen cloth. It was obvious that he was thoroughly enjoying this tale.
Clayton bowed to his king and then once again continued. " 'Were the rumors true?' King Wiliam asked. 'Was it a mere woman who bested my noble knight?'
"Gregory, I can attest, made no attempt to come up with a plausible excuse. He could only give his lord the truth, no matter how humiliating the outcome. 'Aye, my lord,' he said, 'it was a woman directing the defense.'"
Clayton once again waited until the laughter subsided, then continued his explanation. "The duke of Normandy---for our lord wasn't officially anointed king of England then---clasped his hands behind his back and stared down at the knight kneeling before him. Our lord had won handsomely at the battle near Hastings, but there were still more battles to win before England would belong to him. His men, he informed me, were weary from battle.
"Be it known to all," Clayton continued, "that William is a shrewd judge of men. He quickly noticed that from the minute Gregory came limping back into camp, his soldiers had shed their fatigued expressions and had eagerly crowded around the young warrior to hear his tale. By the time Gregory finished his confession of failure, the men were smiling in amusement. No one, you see, could believe a woman could best a Norman knight.
"William reported to me that he also was feeling invigorated by this fresh puzzle. He announced that the Saxon woman had provided a respite for his men. She'd actually made the soldiers forget their injuries and their fatigue. 'Who will take on this challenge in my name?' William, our leader, called out." Clayton was once again forced to wait for everyone's attention as heads turned.
Nicholaa whispered, "Who are they looking for?"
Royce smiled. "For Hannibal," he answered. "There he is, in the back. He's the one with the red face. His failings are about to be paraded before us."
Nicholaa tried not to laugh. The poor man looked embarrassed. "Where is Gregory?" she asked. "The first knight who took on this challenge?"
"He's trying to blend into the back wall to your left, Nicholaa."
Clayton drew her attention when he finally continued. "Another eager young knight by name of Sir Hannibal rushed forward. He placed his hand over his heart, bowed his head low, and humbly requested the duty. Our beloved William granted him permission. 'I want the woman unharmed,' he decreed. 'Bring her to London once you've secured the fortress. She'll witness my coronation.' William then paused to stare at his attentive audience before adding, 'She'll be my prize to award to a worthy knight.'"
It wasn't until that moment, when Clayton said the word "prize" that Nicholaa realized the tale was about her.
She would have bolted out of her seat if Royce hadn't held her down. She turned to her husband. She looked stricken. Her eyes filled with tears.
Royce whispered into her ear, "Clayton doesn't mock you, Nicholaa. He praises you."
She took a deep breath. Her back was rigid, and she stared straight ahead. She tried, but she couldn't block out the herald's voice.
"Hannibal left the camp on his quest the following morning. He took sixty soldiers with him, double the number Gregory had commanded. The flame of determination in the knight's eyes was bright, but like Gregory, he also underestimated his adversary. Six days later, he caught up with his overlord to confess his failure.
"A third knight by name of Michael was dispatched the following morning. He was older than the first two challengers and far more experienced, but alas, he also failed."
The herald continued, telling how William finally called together his most trusted barons, Guy and Royce, for a conference. Clayton went into great detail with praise for the barons and finally ended the dissertation with the events leading up to the marriage.
When Clayton finally finished his tale, he bowed to King William and walked over to stand directly in front of Nicholaa. He bowed low again, to her this time. Everyone in the hall stood up and applauded.
Royce stood up, but Nicholaa seemed glued to the bench. He lifted her up and held her steady with his arm around her waist.
The knights she'd bested came forward through the crowd. Each carried an armful of flowers. Gregory carried white; Hannibal carried pink, and Michael carried red. The knights bowed to Royce before placing the flowers on the table in front of Nicholaa.
King William raised his hand for silence again. "These three have earned the right to join Baron Royce's ranks. When he's finished training them, they won't be bested again."
Laughter followed that announcement. William clapped his hands together again, and the musicians began to play.
Nicholaa sat down, confused by what had just happened. She turned to Royce. He was watching her closely. He wasn't smiling. "It was all a game," she whispered. "Stealing my home and---"
He took the bluster out of her when he leaned down and kissed her. Surprised by the show of affection, she became even more confused.
He stroked her cheek with the back of his hand. "It was war, Nicholaa, not a game," he whispered. "Accept their tribute."
She slowly nodded, but she wasn't convinced.
Royce shook his head. "Nicholaa, I would never have allowed Clayton to repeat the tale if there had been mockery intended, and if I believed it was only a game to ease our soldiers' weariness, I would not have subjected you to this."
She was at last appeased. In her heart, she knew Royce wouldn't allow anyone to mock her. The flowers suddenly took on new significance. She smiled at her husband and turned to pick one up, then stopped, realizing she couldn't grasp anything with her bandaged hands.
Royce picked up a white bloom and held it under her nose. She inhaled the light, sweet fragrance, then nudged the flower toward Royce. "It smells wonderful," she announced.
He inhaled the fragrance before tossing the flower back on the table. "You smell better."
She wasn't given time to say thank you. Royce turned when a friend called out to him, dismissing her then and there.
The celebration went on and on into the dark hours of the night. Most of the guests seemed to be enjoying themselves. One by one they came forward to speak to Nicholaa and offer their congratulations again. She was pleased by the good wishes, and she believed in her heart they were sincere. She also noticed several elderly Saxon barons mixing with the Normans. When she mentioned this to Royce, he explained that those who'd pledged their fealty to William were now considered equal members of the realm. A very few were even allowed to retain a portion of their properties.
In the shadows near the alcove by the entrance, four men stood together, deep in discussion. Every now and then one would turn to look at Lady Nicholaa. The leader of the four stood in the center, dictating his orders. Each time he listed a command, the other three nodded agreement.
"Are you certain she'll do it?" one asked. He gave a worried glance over his shoulder just to make certain they weren't being overheard, then turned back to his leader. "If the plan doesn't work---"
"She'll be the one to suffer the consequences," the leader whispered.
"She might not cooperate," another pointed out.
The leader smiled. "Nicholaa is a Saxon, first and always. She'll do it."
"And then?" the third asked.
"She dies."
Nicholaa had no idea she was the topic under discussion. She was jarred from her sleepy state by a sudden burst of raucous laughter from the alcove. She turned to see who was making all the commotion, but the crowd got in her way. The ale had been flowing freely for hours now, and she concluded that some of the less cautious knights had consumed too much of the sweet, intoxicating drink.
The burns were making her hands throb with pain now, and her skin itched. The soothing salve had worn off, she supposed.
"Royce? Would it be rude for me to leave now?" she asked.
In answer her husband motioned to Lawrence. The vassal put down his goblet and walked over to the table.
Nicholaa smiled at the knight before turning to Royce. "Are you staying here?"
He smiled. She was so sleepy that her eyelids were half closed. "It isn't rude for you to leave, Nicholaa, but I must stay here until King William ends the celebration. He must take his leave before I do."
She looked pleased with his explanation. He didn't know what to make of that. She had the smile of an angel, though, and he had an almost overwhelming urge to give her a real kiss.
"You do know what's proper behavior, after all," she said. "Now I'll know that whenever you're rude to me, you're doing it on purpose and not because you're just plain ignorant."
"And that makes you happy?" She nodded. "A woman doesn't wish to be married to an ignorant man," she explained. "I should warn you, Royce: now that I know you're aware of what you're doing, I'm going to start retaliating in kind. That's only fair, isn't it?"
"No."
"It certainly is. Why, I believe---" He didn't let her finish. He kissed her, quick and hard, and when he pulled back, she was too bemused to remember what she'd been talking about.
Damn, he wanted to kiss her thoroughly. He wanted her mouth open, his tongue inside... hell, he wanted a wedding night. "Why are you frowning?" she asked.
He didn't answer her. He helped her to her feet instead. Nicholaa turned to thank the king and his wife.
Royce stood by her side, watching the way she won their smiles with her gentle, shyly whispered words.
She was such a fragile thing, and so very, very proper. Yes, an angel, but with a bit of the devil in her, too, if the sudden sparkle that came into her eyes was any indication.
"When I get across the hall," she whispered, "I just might stop and shout your name. Then I might motion for you to come to me. What do you suppose you'll do?"
She was bluffing of course. She was too much of a lady to go to such undignified lengths just to even their positions.
Royce must have realized that fact, too. He winked at her, then motioned Lawrence closer.
"My wife's ready to leave now," he said. "You may escort her to our chamber."
Lawrence nodded and reached for Nicholaa's elbow. His baron's next command made him pause. "If Lady Nicholaa stops at the doorway, you have my permission to carry her to our chamber."
Nicholaa's eyes widened. She looked at Lawrence to see how he was reacting to such a shameful order and noticed he was trying not to smile. She glared at him, then turned to her husband. "You're horribly inconsiderate, Royce."
He smiled at her. "You wound me with such harsh criticism," he returned. "I'm never inconsiderate."
To prove his point he said, "Lawrence, if you have to toss my wife over your shoulder, don't touch her hands. They're still tender from her injuries."
"Yes, Baron," Lawrence answered. "I'll be careful."
Royce winked at Nicholaa. "There, wife, I've just shown you how considerate I can be."
She shook her head. "You know, Royce, every time I begin to think there might be a glimmer of hope for a peaceful future together, you say something to ruin it. You'd better understand your new position, sir."
Her eyes had turned a deep violet. She was getting all worked up, he decided. He felt like laughing. His wife stood up to him with no fear in her expression, as though she thought she was his equal. Damn, she pleased him.
Lawrence watched his baron stare at Nicholaa and felt safe smiling. Royce was trying to intimidate his wife, but it wasn't working. The vassal could almost see the sparks flying between them. Lawrence thought Nicholaa might already be in love with Royce. She'd certainly given him her loyalty. The way she'd stood up to Guy was proof of that. He wondered if Royce realized his good fortune. It would take him a while to appreciate her value, of course, for he was a warrior, and warriors rarely thought about such insignificant matters.
"Nicholaa?" Royce asked, drawing Lawrence's attention again. "What did you mean when you said I didn't know what my position was?"
She had to stop staring into his eyes so she could concentrate. He was a handsome man, even when he was insulting her. All she had to do was notice the beautiful gray flecks in his eyes and she'd forget her own thoughts. She turned her gaze to his chest. "Now isn't the time to discuss---"
"Oh, but I want to hear your explanation now." He clasped his hands behind his back and patiently waited.
She took a deep breath. "Very well," she said. "In a few days, we'll be going back to my holding, won't we?" She didn't wait for him to agree. "And you are married to me now."
It took him a full minute to realize she was finished. She was looking up at him with a hopeful expression on her face. He wanted to laugh. God, she was daft. "You haven't explained sufficiently for me to understand."
She lifted her shoulders in a shrug. She'd hoped for privacy when she explained in full, but this opportunity was too good to pass up. She had his full attention now, and God only knew when that would happen again.
"As your wife, it's my duty to serve you, and as my husband, it's your duty to serve me."
He quit smiling. "And how am I supposed to serve you?"
"By following my directions."
"What?"
Nicholaa wasn't about to back down now, no matter how furious he became. The issue was too important. "By following my directions," she said again. "It won't be an easy adjustment. You are going to be the outsider. The servants at my holding are loyal to me, of course. Do you see how simple it is?"
"Nicholaa, it's my duty to protect you."
"That, too," she agreed. It took all she had to stand there. The look in his eyes was chilling. "I would like to live in peace with you, Royce. If you'll only be patient---"
"I'm always patient," he snapped.
He didn't sound at all patient, but she decided not to argue with him. "In time you'll learn all our customs. I'll help you make this adjustment."
"You believe I'm going to change my ways?" His voice had gone hoarse.
"I hadn't thought of it that way," she said. "I'm very weary. Couldn't we discuss your new duties tomorrow?"
He didn't answer her. He just stood there staring down at her with the oddest expression on his face.
Nicholaa thought it would be best if she took her leave now. She stretched up to kiss his cheek, then hurried toward the entrance. "Aren't you coming along, Lawrence?" she called over her shoulder. The vassal rushed after his mistress. Nicholaa was feeling very pleased with herself. She'd expressed her wishes, and Royce had listened. It was a fair start, she decided. In no time at all he'd see how right she was. Royce was the outsider, and it was her holding, but he was intelligent and he'd make the adjustment quickly. She was sure of it.
Lawrence didn't say a word to his mistress as he escorted her to her quarters. God's truth, he couldn't. He was too busy trying to contain his amusement. The incredulous look on Baron Royce's face would live in his memory for a long, long while.
"Thank you for giving me your escort, Lawrence," Nicholaa said when they reached her door. "Good night."
"Good night, my lady. Sleep well." Nicholaa smiled at the two guards standing by the doorway, then went inside. One of the soldiers pulled the door closed behind her. She let out a loud sigh. A serving woman was waiting for her in the shadows by the hearth, but Nicholaa didn't notice her until she was halfway across the room. She came to quick stop and let out a gasp of surprise. She hadn't seen this servant before. The woman was much older than Mary, rigid in bearing, with heavy brows and a heavier frown. She gestured Nicholaa forward.
The woman certainly wasn't acting like a servant. Nicholaa was immediately put on guard. "What is your name?" she asked. "Why isn't Mary here? She was assigned the duty of assisting me."
"My name isn't important," the woman answered in a low whisper. "You won't be seeing me again. As for the girl, I told her she was wanted in the kitchens."
"Why are you here?" Nicholaa asked. She noticed the woman's hands were hidden behind her back and took a cautious step back toward the doors and the guards.
"I've been ordered to give you a message and then leave."
"Who sends me this message?" Nicholaa asked.
"The leader of those who resist the pretender they call king."
"There are Saxons here in London who resist?"
The woman's frown deepened. "Have you lost your loyalty already?" she demanded.
Nicholaa straightened her shoulders. "Give me the name of your leader," she demanded.
"I don't know his name, and I wouldn't be giving it to you if I did. You haven't proved to be trustworthy yet."
"I don't have to prove anything to you," Nicholaa countered. "Now give me this message and leave."
The woman pulled a sharp dagger from behind her back and held it up in front of Nicholaa. "Baron Royce is the finest trainer of soldiers. If something happened to him, the army would suffer. William depends on this baron in all matters of war. Your husband is to be the first one we take away."
Nicholaa's gaze was riveted on the knife. She watched as the woman placed the dagger on the low chest next to the bed. The servant rushed across the chamber toward the door. "Kill him," she whispered. "Tonight."
"No!" Nicholaa shouted.
The woman whirled around. "Do you want the guards to hear you?"
Nicholaa shook her head. She was terrified, but she didn't want the old hag to leave just yet. She was determined to learn the name of the man in charge of the resistance. More important, this woman might know what had happened to her brother Thurston, who had gone to the north to join Baron Alfred's army.
"I ask you again to give me the name of your leader. Baron Alfred is the only Saxon I know of who continues to resist William. He and his men have their stronghold in the north, near my holding."
She would have continued, but the woman cut her off. "More than one group remains loyal to the old ways," she said. "You must prove your loyalty to us tonight."
"How do you suggest I kill my husband?" Nicholaa asked. She lifted her bandaged hands. "I cannot even hold a knife."
The woman looked startled. It was apparent she hadn't considered that problem.
Nicholaa said a quick prayer of thanksgiving that she hadn't been able to sway Baron Samuel into taking the bandages off. "I could not kill my husband even if I wanted to," she said. There was a hint of victory in her voice, relief as well. She didn't think the woman noticed. She was glaring at Nicholaa's hands.
"You'll have to find a way," the woman announced. "His death or yours."
She was reaching for the door latch when Nicholaa said, "It would be my death regardless. William would retaliate."
The woman shook her head. "At dawn three men will come to take you away. The deed must be done before then."
"I won't do it."
"Then they'll kill both of you."
The door closed on that threat.
Nicholaa knew she was going to be sick. The evil radiating from the woman made the chamber as frigid as death.
Royce came into the chamber approximately twenty minutes later. He wasn't at all certain what to expect from Nicholaa. She'd either be sound asleep and looking like an innocent or wide awake and pacing while she thought of more outrageous opinions to share with him.
One thing was certain: just as soon as possible, he was going to set the woman straight. Granted, he'd never been married before, and he didn't have a strong understanding of how a man and woman lived together in harmony. But then, she hadn't been married before, either. Still, the laws of marriage were the same for Saxons as they were for Normans, the rules set down by the church. The husband was lord of the manor, and his wife was simply his chattel.
Nicholaa had gotten everything turned around inside her head. Royce smiled then. It wasn't going to be easy for her, what with all the changes he would insist upon. One thing was certain, though: she would be the one doing all the adjusting, not he.
As soon as he walked into the chamber, he put the matter of lecturing his wife aside. Nicholaa didn't seem to be in any condition to listen to anything he had to say. She was kneeling on the floor by the bed, doubled over an empty chamber pot, gagging.
It was one hell of a greeting, he decided. He'd heard about women coming down with wedding-night jitters, but Nicholaa's reaction went way beyond that. Was she so frightened of being bedded that she'd made herself ill?
That possibility didn't sit well. He let out a loud sigh as he went over to the washbowl. After dipping a cloth in the cool water, he walked over to her.
Nicholaa was leaning back on her heels, trying to catch her breath when Royce scooped her up into his arms and sat down on the side of the bed. She ended up in his lap.
The minute he touched her, she started crying. Royce held the soggy cloth against her forehead. "Quit your weeping," he ordered, "and tell me what ails you."
She didn't like his gruff tone of voice at all. "Nothing ails me," she lied.
"All right," he agreed. "Then tell me why you're weeping."
Now he sounded a little too reasonable. "I didn't mean any of those nice things I said about you," she announced. She shoved the cloth away from her brow and turned in his arms so he could see her frown. "Don't you dare believe I meant a single kind word I said."
He nodded, just to placate her. "When did you say those things I'm not supposed to believe?"
"Last night," she answered. "When Baron Guy was being such an arrogant nuisance."
Royce remembered and smiled, but Nicholaa was too overwhelmed by her worries to notice. The past few hours had left her spent. She collapsed against her husband's chest and closed her eyes. In the back of her mind she realized she wanted him to touch her, to comfort her. That didn't make any sense, but she wasn't in the mood to work it all out in her mind.
"Royce?"
"Yes?"
"Do you hate me?"
"No."
"Were you very angry I chose you for my husband?"
"What do you think?"
"I think you were," she whispered. "Now you can't go back to Normandy."
"No, I can't."
"Does that upset you?"
He smiled again. He rested his chin on the top of her head. Nicholaa sounded worried. "No."
"Well, why not?"
His sigh was long. "Do you want to argue?"
"No," she answered. "You should go back to Normandy, Royce. Was there a special lady waiting for your return?"
"It's a little late to be concerned about that possibility, isn't it?"
Her eyes got teary again. "I only just considered that possibility," she wailed. "Oh, God, I've ruined your life, haven't I?"
He hugged her. "No, you haven't ruined my life," he answered. "I didn't leave a woman behind in Normandy, Nicholaa."
She sagged against him. He concluded then that she was relieved by that news. "My family's there, of course," he told her. "My father's dead, but my mother's still alive. She's kept busy with my sisters and her grandchildren."
"Will I ever meet your family?"
"Perhaps," he answered.
He thought he'd soothed her sufficiently to return to his question as to why she'd been weeping and was just about to turn the topic back to that concern when she suddenly whispered, "You must go back to Normandy, Royce, if only for a nice long visit with your family."
The urgency in her tone wasn't lost on him. "And why is that?"
"You'll be safe there."
"I'm just as safe here."
Nicholaa decided to take a different approach. "I'd like to leave this place as soon as possible, husband. Could we go now? The moon is sufficient to show us the way home."
There was a note of desperation in her voice. Royce nudged her chin up so he could see her expression. One look told him she was terrified. "What happened?" he demanded.
"Nothing," she blurted out. "I just want to leave now."
She pushed his hand away from her chin and hid her face in the crook of his neck.
"Nicholaa? Are you so worried about my touching you that you've made yourself ill?"
"What are you talking about? You're touching me now, Royce."
"That isn't what I meant," he said. "When I bed you
He never got to finish. Her head came up with a start. Good God, she hadn't even thought about that. Leave it to him to add another worry to her growing list.
"You can't expect me to sleep with you that way," she blurted out. "I haven't even had time to think about that possibility. No, you can't expect---"
"I do expect," he interrupted.
She stared into his eyes. He looked as if he meant what he said. Her face lost its color, and her heart started racing. Nicholaa burst into tears again.
Royce controlled his exasperation. He decided he shouldn't have mentioned that topic. When the time came to bed her, he'd do just that, but he wouldn't give her time to let her fear catch hold of her.
"Nicholaa, do you trust me?"
She didn't even think about it before answering. "Yes."
"And you're not afraid of me?"
"No."
"Fine," he whispered. "Then tell me why you're upset."
"My hands and arms are burning something fierce," she muttered. "I'm in agony with all my worries. Royce, I'm in no condition to let you touch me."
"Let me?" He sounded more surprised than angry over her poor choice of words.
"You know my meaning," she cried out. "Have you no sympathy?"
He shrugged. She guessed that he didn't.
If she hadn't been so busy trying to think of a plan to keep the man alive, she surely would have had time to think of a way to discourage him from exercising his husbandly rights.
She fell back against him again. "I don't hate you, Royce, but at times I do dislike you."
He hugged her tight. Long minutes passed in silence. He was patiently waiting for her to calm down. He thought about how soft she was, how feminine her scent was, and how much he liked holding her in his arms.
She thought about the evil look on the woman's face when she relayed her message.
Royce felt her shiver in his arms. He tightened his hold. The candlelight flickered, drawing his attention. He saw the dagger on the chest, then frowned in reaction. He'd left specific instructions the evening before that all weapons were to be removed from the chamber. Although he was certain that Nicholaa didn't have it in her nature to kill anyone, she could do a fair amount of damage in an attempt to escape.
He smiled then. He was certain that if she had injured one of his soldiers, she'd be sure to apologize afterward.
The woman was still a puzzle to him, but he was beginning to understand a few of her quirks.
"Nicholaa? Do you still think to escape?"
"I'm a married woman now."
"And?" he prodded when she didn't continue.
She let out a sigh. "If I escaped, you'd have to come with me."
Nicholaa was just realizing her remark was absurd when he said, "Where did the dagger come from?"
She tensed against him. "I don't know."
"Yes, you do," he answered. "Don't lie to me, Nicholaa."
She didn't say another word for a long while. "It's a long story," she finally whispered. "Surely you don't wish to hear it now."
"Yes, I do wish to hear it now."
"An old woman gave me the dagger."
"When?"
"Tonight. I don't want to talk about it," she cried out. "I just want you to take me away from here tonight. Please, Royce?"
He acted as though he hadn't even heard her plea. "Why did she give you the dagger?"
She was going to have to tell him everything. He wasn't going to let up. Besides, she reasoned, she needed his help with this worry, and God only knew he needed her warning. "She said I'm supposed to kill you with it."
She waited a long while for Royce to react to her announcement before she realized he wasn't going to say anything. Didn't he believe her?
"I'm not jesting," she whispered. "I'm really supposed to kill you."
"How?" he asked, sounding incredulous. "You can't even hold a dagger in your hands."
"I mentioned that very problem to the messenger," she muttered. "I was told to find a way. The more you doubt my word, Royce, the more convinced I am that it wouldn't be too difficult."
"Nicholaa, you couldn't kill me." He sounded pleased with that evaluation. He gently brushed the hair away from her temple. It felt like a caress from a husband who cared about his wife.
God, she was tired. Surely that was the reason her eyes clouded with tears again. "Just when I was beginning to think the war was finally over and we could all live in peace together, this had to happen."
"The war is over," he said. "You're worrying over nothing."
"You don't believe me, do you?"
"I didn't say that."
"You didn't have to," she cried out. "I have proof, husband."
"Do you mean the dagger?"
"No," she answered. "My proof will arrive at dawn. Three men are coming. If I haven't killed you by then, they're going to kill both of us. Then you'll know I was telling you the truth."
He leaned down and kissed her brow. "You really are telling me the truth, aren't you?"
"How could you believe I'd make up something this vile?"
She moved away from his shoulder so she could glare at him. She was surprised to see how furious he was, for his voice had been mild when he spoke to her. She lost her frown immediately and nodded with satisfaction. It was high time the man showed a proper reaction.
Lord, she was relieved, too. His anger actually comforted her. He would know what to do. He'd take care of this threat. She snuggled up against him and let out a loud, unladylike yawn. "Now do you see why I thought we should leave tonight?"
"Nicholaa, I want you to start at the beginning," he ordered. "Tell me exactly what happened."
She didn't argue with him. When she finished her explanation, he was squeezing her hard around her waist. He was frowning like a devil, too. The scar on his face had turned stark white again. He looked like a warrior now, even though he wasn't dressed in battle gear.
The strangest feeling came over her. God's truth, he made her feel safe. How long had it been since she'd felt that way? Nicholaa couldn't remember.
She didn't even worry about leaving now. Royce would protect her no matter where they were.
"What are you going to do?" she asked.
"I'll take care of it, Nicholaa." She nodded.
"Stand up now and let me help you get your clothes off," he said quietly.
"Why?"
He ignored the startled tone in her voice. "So you can sleep, wife. I'll wait until your hands have healed before bedding you."
"Thank you."
"Hell, you don't have to sound so relieved."
His surly tone of voice told her she'd offended him. She guessed she'd dented his pride. She stood up and faced him. "Royce, the first time between a husband and a wife should be special, shouldn't it?"
She was blushing like a virgin. She couldn't look him in the eye, either. Her gaze was centered on the floor. He couldn't resist goading her just a little. "But you've been married before, remember? You've had a child, too, or have you forgotten Ulric?"
"Of course I remember Ulric," she rushed out. "I was just trying to explain that, with or without experience, the first time between us should be..."
"Special?" he said when she didn't continue. She nodded. "I would rather not have to worry about someone putting a dagger between your shoulder blades while you're... otherwise occupied."
He untied her belt, tossed it aside, and then stood up. He tried to detach himself from what he was doing as he pulled the bliaut up, over her head. The rest of her clothes followed, save for the thin-as-air chemise. A heavy silence fell between them. She stood as still as a statue. She didn't feel like one, though. Royce was already regretting his rash promise not to bed her.
"You didn't mention your own shoulder blades," he remarked in an attempt to ease the tension building inside him. "You could well be the first to feel the enemy's blade." His voice sounded harsh to him.
She stood before him, her toes curled into the rushes, her head bowed low. Lord, she was even more beautiful without her clothes on. Her legs were so incredibly long. Her skin was smooth all over, and in the flickering candlelight she looked like a golden goddess from magical days.
The provocative scoop-neck chemise left little to his imagination. The swell of her full breasts pressing against the embroidered fabric made his chest tighten.
Yes, she was beautiful. And she belonged to him.
"You wouldn't let anyone hurt me."
"What did you say?"
"I said you wouldn't let anyone hurt me."
It took all his discipline to concentrate on the conversation. "No, I wouldn't."
"Why are you frowning? Are you angry with me?"
He shook his head and almost laughed. The innocent had absolutely no idea what thoughts were going through his mind. He took a deep breath and then put his bride to bed. He covered her with the blankets and turned back to the door.
"Nicholaa?" he called over his shoulder.
"Yes?"
"When we reach my holding," he said, stressing his ownership. "I won't allow any more lies. From the moment we take up residence, you'll always tell me the truth."
"Are you thinking I lied about the woman telling me to kill you?"
"No," he answered. He turned and stared at her.
"I'm talking about the other lies you've told me. They end when we reach Rosewood. Give me your promise."
She didn't want to promise him anything. "What lies do you mean?" she asked, trying to find out exactly what he knew.
"It isn't necessary for me to explain," he countered. "Just promise me, Nicholaa." A hard glint came into his eyes as he waited for her to give him what he wanted.
"Royce, understand this," she whispered. "I will do whatever I have to do to protect Ulric and Justin. That promise I give you now."
"Is lying to me your way of protecting them?"
"In the past, when I---"
"I'm talking about the future," he interrupted. "From the minute we reach Rosewood," he added. "No more lies."
She took a deep breath. "All right," she whispered. "I promise you there won't be any more lies."
Royce turned around and started for the door again. He'd already dismissed his wife from his thoughts. There was much to be done before dawn. He had reached for the door latch when Nicholaa called out to him.
"Royce, my father always kissed my mother good night. It was a family tradition."
He turned back to her. "And?"
"It's a Saxon tradition, too." Another minute passed. "I was just wondering if it was a Norman tradition, too." She was trying to act nonchalant.
He shrugged his answer.
"Traditions should be continued, Royce, especially during unsettled times."
"Why?"
The man wasn't catching on. It was apparent he still didn't understand she wanted him to kiss her. "So they won't be forgotten," she muttered.
"Nicholaa? Do you want me to kiss you?"
So much for subtlety, she thought to herself. "Yes."
As soon as she saw him coming toward her, she closed her eyes. Royce sat down on the side of the bed. He leaned down and kissed her brow. She told him thank you. He kissed the bridge of her nose. She said thank you again.
Her face looked as if it had been burned by the sun. He knew she was embarrassed, but didn't have the faintest idea why. He was too pleased that she wanted his touch to dwell on her daft behavior.
"Traditions are v-very important to m-me," she stammered. "Now that you're my husband, they have to be important to you, too."
That statement gave him pause. "They do?"
"Yes," she answered. She opened her eyes to look up at him. "It's not that I want you to kiss me. It's just that---"
She quit trying to explain when his mouth settled on hers. He stole her concentration completely. His mouth was so wonderfully warm. His fingers threaded through her hair to hold her captive, although that wasn't really necessary; she didn't want to move. The kiss was gentle, undemanding. It left her breathless. And wanting.
Royce pulled back just a little. "Open your mouth for me, Nicholaa," he whispered.
She barely had time to do as he commanded before his mouth took possession again. His tongue swept inside her mouth then, to taste, to stroke, to drive her wild.
He held her still as his mouth slanted over hers again and again. He felt her tremble, and in the back of his mind was the thought that he was probably scaring the hell out of her. She was such an innocent.
Then her tongue touched his and she let out a low, ragged moan. He could feel the passion in her response. Stunned, he damn near lost his control then and there.
He forced himself to pull back. His smile was tender when he saw the result of his touch. Her lips were swollen, rosy, and she wore the most astonished expression.
He rubbed his thumb across her lower lip.
"I don't believe my father ever kissed my mother quite like that," she whispered.
There was a definite sparkle in her eyes. He realized she was teasing him. He responded in kind. "With all those children? I think he did."
He bent down and kissed her again, a quick no-nonsense kiss without a hint of passion in it. She couldn't hide her disappointment when he stood up. "Now go to sleep, Nicholaa," he ordered. "The tradition has been continued."
She didn't say thank you. She sighed instead. Nicholaa was sound asleep before Royce reached the door.
Two fresh guards had just arrived to replace the pair in the hallway. All four soldiers were seasoned knights under Royce's command. One soldier held a goblet filled with the sleeping draft the healer had just delivered. Royce ordered the soldier to throw it away. He then commanded another guard to tell Lawrence he needed to speak to him.
The second-in-command arrived a few minutes later. Royce still hadn't dismissed the soldiers from their watch. He leaned against the door and quickly explained the situation. When he was finished, he gave his orders.
By Royce's command, the leader of the king's guard was to be alerted of the possible threat immediately, and the number of men on the night watch would be tripled. A clean sweep was to be made of the castle and the grounds. The old woman who'd told Nicholaa to kill him might still be lingering nearby, and Royce wanted her found.
"What about the men who are coming to challenge you at dawn?" Lawrence asked when Royce had finished giving his orders.
"I'll take care of that possible threat," Royce answered. "I hold little hope they'll actually show up, though. They used the old woman to give Nicholaa her duty and will now leave her to suffer the consequences on her own. It would be too dangerous for them to try to get to either one of us." He expelled a long breath. "God, I hope I'm wrong," he admitted. "I would like for them to try. I want a chance to kill the bastards. They frightened my wife."
Lawrence noticed that his baron seemed more furious over the fact that Nicholaa had been frightened than he did over the possibility that someone was trying to kill him. It was a telling reaction, to the vassal's way of thinking.
After bowing, Lawrence and the other soldiers left to carry out their assignments. Royce stood with his back protecting the door until two of the soldiers returned. He went back inside the chamber when the hallway was once again guarded by his trusted men.
Less than an hour later a knock sounded. Royce had the door open before Lawrence had let his hand drop back to his side.
The vassal moved out of the way so Royce could join him in the corridor. "We found the old woman," he announced in a low voice. "She's dead. Her neck was broken. Someone tossed her body behind a couple of crates. Do we round up all the Saxons in residence and question them?"
Royce shook his head. "The Saxon barons who have pledged their loyalty to William would be insulted by our distrust. That wouldn't matter to our king, of course, but it wouldn't serve our purposes. If there is a Saxon traitor in league with those who still resist the king, he certainly won't give us any answers. We'll have to find another way to ferret out the bastard."
Lawrence nodded agreement. "There are many people here, Baron," he said. "I don't recognize a fair number of them. The crowd will make it difficult for us to find the culprit."
"Damn, I wish we could set a trap now and be done with it," Royce muttered.
"A trap with you as the bait?" Lawrence asked. "It would be too difficult to control the outcome, my lord."
Royce shrugged. "It could be done," he countered. "Still, I won't take the chance. Nicholaa's safety comes first. I'm anxious to get her home. Once I'm certain no one can get to her, I can turn my attention to finding the bastard behind this scheme. This isn't finished, Lawrence. They'll try again. I'm sure of it."
"When do you wish to leave?"
"Tomorrow, by midday," Royce answered. "I'll talk to William in the morning."
Royce dismissed his vassal and went back inside the chamber. Nicholaa was sleeping soundly. The dark smudges under her eyes were still noticeable, and he wished he could let her stay in London a few more days, until she regained her strength.
There wasn't time, however. He wouldn't rest until he knew she was safe. His gentle wife didn't appear worried, though. She couldn't have slept so peacefully if she had been.
He tucked the covers around her shoulders. Wives were a damn nuisance, he decided. If a husband cared about his wife, the enemy could use her to get to him. They could, in effect, use her as a weapon to destroy him.
If a husband cared, he thought again.
He was desperate to get Nicholaa home to Rosewood where she would be safe. He shook his head. The evidence couldn't be denied. How in God's name had it happened? And so quickly, too? He thought about the week of hell she'd put him through on the journey to London, and had to shake his head again.
And then he grinned. He didn't understand how or why it had happened. Only one thing was certain: he cared.
The assassins didn't arrive at dawn.
Royce wasn't surprised. He was disappointed, though.
He let Nicholaa sleep several more hours before finally prodding her awake. She was pleased to hear that no one had tried to breach their quarters.
Baron Samuel arrived a few minutes later. Royce helped Nicholaa into her robe and stood like a sentry by her side while the healer looked at her injuries. As soon as Lawrence arrived, Royce took his leave to speak to the king.
Samuel wrapped fresh bandages around Nicholaa's hands and arms. The healer had promised to leave the bindings off, but since she was leaving for her home, he thought the raw skin should be protected from the brittle winter air. She didn't argue with him, however.
Samuel left her a small packet of herbs with instructions to mix a pinch with clear water to make a salve to apply to the injuries each morning.
Nicholaa thanked him profusely. Mary, the sweet-tempered serving girl, was waiting to help her mistress dress when Royce walked into the room and motioned to her to leave.
"I would like Mary to stay," Nicholaa said. "I need her assistance, Royce."
"I'll help you," Royce answered. "Lawrence, see to your duties now. We'll leave in one hour." He held up the packet of herbs. "What is this?" he demanded.
She told him. When she'd finished her explanation, Royce walked over to the hearth and tossed the packet into the fire. Nicholaa was too astonished to try to stop him.
"Why in heaven's name did you do that?"
He wouldn't answer her. His mood didn't improve, either. He finally allowed Mary to come back into the chamber, though, when Nicholaa asked him to braid her hair. He couldn't be bothered to perform such a menial task, of course, but he wouldn't leave the chamber, either. Poor Mary was so intimidated by his presence that she couldn't get the braid done. Her hands were shaking too much.
As soon as Nicholaa dismissed the servant, she turned to Royce. "What is the matter with you? Don't you trust me enough to let me have a few minutes alone with my servant to see to personal matters, husband? Do you still believe I would try to escape? Is that the reason for your irritable mood?"
He looked exasperated with her. "I'm thinking of your safety, wife," he announced. "I don't trust any of the servants. The sooner we leave for home, the better my mood will be."
She shook her head. "I'm not the one in danger, husband," she countered. "You are. Besides, the servants are in the king's employ. Surely none of them would try to harm me."
He clasped his hands behind his back and scowled at her. "Nicholaa, it's obvious that not all the servants are loyal to William. The old woman who came into our chamber last night to give you your assignment certainly wasn't loyal. There could be others. You're as much in jeopardy as I am," he added.
"Why?"
He let out a sigh. "You're my wife now. The Saxons could use you to get to me. That's why. Now quit your questions. It's time we left."
"How could the enemy use me to get to you?" she asked, completely ignoring his order to stop questioning him.
He didn't answer her.
They left London a few minutes later. Nicholaa rode with Royce. She noticed that the soldiers who escorted them were older than the ones who'd accompanied them to London. The younger knights now rode at the back of the procession.
"How many ride with us?" she asked Royce.
"Enough."
Now what did that mean? Nicholaa decided against prodding her husband for an answer. The set of his jaw indicated he wasn't in the mood for conversation.
By the time they made camp for the night, Nicholaa was too exhausted to care about her husband's mood. She slept inside the small tent on a pallet of furs he'd fashioned for her, but when she awakened during the night she found herself snuggled up on Royce's lap. She didn't know how she'd gotten there.
Two days later, riding at breakneck pace, they arrived at the edge of Nicholaa's holding. They wouldn't reach the keep until the following morning, however, for the hills they still had to climb would make the journey arduous. They would have to slow their pace.
Nicholaa didn't mind. The weather had taken a turn for the better. The sun shone bright, and the breeze had lost a little of its winter sting. The scent of spring was in the air. Nicholaa's spirits lifted. She listed all the things she would do as soon as she arrived home. First she would change her clothes, and then she'd hurry over to the abbey to see Justin and Ulric.
She told Royce her intentions while they ate supper together.
"You aren't leaving Rosewood," he announced. He handed her a thick crust of bread. "Justin and Ulric will come to you."
She must have been overly tired from the long day's ride. Surely that was the reason she became so irritated with her husband now. "Why must you be so difficult to get along with?" she demanded.
He seemed genuinely surprised by her question. "I'm not difficult to get along with," he countered.
He suddenly reached out and pulled her onto his lap. He wrapped one arm around her waist. When she turned to protest, he shoved a bit of cheese into her mouth.
Neither said a word until the meal was finished. Then Nicholaa leaned back against Royce's shoulder and said, "Are you going to be pleasant once we reach home?"
That question was too foolish to answer. He was always pleasant---except, of course, when he was in battle. He wasn't pleasant then. Lord, he was too weary to think about such things now. "Are you ready to sleep?"
"I'm ready to talk to my husband," she muttered. "I would like to discuss our future."
She tilted her face up, and Royce leaned down and kissed her. Hard. He thought only to turn her thoughts away from nagging him into conversation, but the kiss quickly overshadowed all other motives.
It wasn't a gentle kiss. It was hot, demanding, thoroughly arousing. He couldn't seem to get enough of her. His tongue swept inside to mate with hers. He let out a low growl that mingled with her sigh of pleasure.
In no time at all she forgot where they were. Royce didn't. He ended the kiss and pushed her head down on his shoulder.
"You will sleep now," he ordered.
She was too shaken to answer. Her face rested against his chest, and she could hear his heart racing. Nicholaa suddenly didn't mind his abruptness; her discovery was too pleasing. Royce might not want to admit it, but the kiss had affected him, too.
She let out a little sigh, closed her eyes, and yawned. She was just about to drift off to sleep when Royce whispered her name.
"Nicholaa?"
"Yes, Royce?"
"Your hands will be healed in two days."
His voice had turned hard, demanding. "They will?" she asked, wondering how he could make such a prophecy. What did it matter to him how long it took for the injuries to heal?
And then she remembered. He'd promised her he wouldn't bed her until the bandages were off. Nicholaa smiled.
He wanted her. She thought she should probably be a little frightened of the bedding to come, for the unknown was always worrisome. Her mother had told her only that it was a commonplace occurrence between husband and wife, necessary for the begetting of heirs, and fully approved by the church.
None of those reasons eased her worry as much as Royce's gentle touch did, though. He really wanted her. That was all that mattered to her now. Nicholaa suddenly needed to hear him tell her so. "Will you be pleased when my hands are healed?"
He didn't answer her for the longest while. He tightened his hold around her waist, rubbed his chin against the top of her head, and when she'd finally come to the conclusion that he wasn't going to say anything more, he spoke. "Yes, Nicholaa, I'll be pleased."
Her heartbeat quickened when she heard the caress in his voice.
She couldn't go to sleep for a long time. Her mind was racing with all the new responsibilities she now had to take on as wife and mistress of Rosewood.
Her mother had taught her all the gentle skills a lady should possess, but she hadn't said much about a wife's duties to her husband. Nicholaa did know, however, that as mistress of Rosewood, it would be up to her to create a happy, peaceful home.
Her mother had taught by example, not by lecture. Her father had liked order, Nicholaa remembered, and her mother had seen that he got it. She'd pampered him and, by her actions, taught him to pamper her. No matter what chaos ruled beyond the walls, when her father returned to his home, Nicholaa's mother would rush outside to greet him. Sometimes Nicholaa would stand by her mother's side on the top step of the castle. Her father, a fierce-looking man when dressed in battle gear, would usually be scowling and looking weary to his bones as he rode up the last hill. Nicholaa was never afraid of him, though. She knew her mother could cajole him out of his black mood, so magical was her smile.
It always worked. By the time her father reached the bottom step, he'd be smiling, too. He'd kiss his wife, hoist Nicholaa up on his shoulders, and then decree in a booming voice that he was a starving man in need of his supper.
Nicholaa was comforted by that memory from childhood. A man's home should be a sanctuary, she decided, a haven of peace and safety and---sometimes---love.
Making Royce's life a living hell wasn't a consideration now. She would only be hurting herself if she acted like a shrew. She was a grown woman now. It was time to behave like one.
There was also Ulric to think about. He'd lost his mama during the birthing, and Nicholaa became more convinced each day that Ulric's papa was also dead. Thurston would have sent word to her if he'd survived the last battle.
She and Justin were Ulric's only family now. But there was Royce, too. Was he willing to become Ulric's father? Would he teach the boy all the lessons a father should teach his son? Nicholaa thought about the gentle way Royce had held the baby in his arms when he came to collect her from the abbey. In her heart, she was convinced he'd protect Ulric. Perhaps, in time, he would even begin to care for the child as his own.
Ulric needed a tranquil home. Nicholaa vowed then and there to put her criticisms aside. She would learn to bend a little in order to get along with her husband, and she'd teach him to bend, too.
Nicholaa snuggled up against Royce while she considered her new plan.
He told her to be still.
His voice was gruff, filled with sleepy irritation. Yet he rubbed her back when he gave the command.
She was content. The future seemed filled with promise, now that she'd worked it all out in her mind.
It was all so simple. Royce was the first trainer of men. His duty had been determined years before, when William recognized his talent. Matilda had told Nicholaa several stories about Royce's mighty feats. She'd been duly impressed.
Nicholaa decided not to interfere with her husband's primary duties. She'd stay out of his way while he turned ordinary men into invincible warriors.
She had only just decided upon her duty, however. She wasn't sure how to begin. Only one thing was certain: she and Royce were going to live together in peace and harmony even if it killed him.
Yes, she thought to herself, Royce would train his men.
And she would train him.
She had dreamed of living happily ever after, but on the following morning, Nicholaa's certainty that the future would be filled with joy and peace was put to a terrifying test.
The procession had ridden for nearly an hour when they reached a narrow trail that led to the top of a steep hill. Royce hadn't taken the lead, but rode in the center of his men, with Nicholaa riding by herself directly behind him, the reins wrapped around her wrist.
Royce suddenly called a halt and took over the lead, leaving Nicholaa at the base of the hill with soldiers surrounding her. He then led the first twenty soldiers to the crest above.
It was a perfect place for an ambush, Royce thought. The pathway up the hill was so narrow that his men had to ride in single file.
Royce returned for Nicholaa after the first group had spread out over the crest, their arrows nocked in preparation for a sneak attack. Nicholaa thought Royce was being overly cautious. They were almost home now, and surely the resisters to William's rule had better things to do than attack such an isolated holding.
The set of her husband's jaw told Nicholaa to keep her opinion to herself. She felt comforted by the extreme measures he was taking to keep everyone safe, even though they seemed a bit excessive.
The attack caught her completely by surprise. It came when the last soldier reached the crest.
Royce sounded the battle cry. The earth-shuddering shout nearly jarred her off her mount. She was suddenly surrounded by soldiers, their shields up, protecting her from harm.
Arrows rained down on them from the surrounding hills. The attackers swarmed over the hills like locusts in search of prey.
Nicholaa watched as Royce drew his sword. He nudged his stallion into a gallop, then swung the sword high above his head. It was a magnificent sight. Terrifying, too. Nicholaa murmured fast and furious Pater Nosters that God would keep her husband safe.
The soldier behind her let out a cry and fell to the ground. Nicholaa turned and saw more resisters coming up the hill from their hiding places below.
The soldiers surrounding her immediately changed tactics. One slapped Nicholaa's horse and shouted the order to ride to the west ridge.
Nicholaa had trouble controlling her mount. She couldn't grasp the reins with enough strength to direct the animal. The horse veered to the east. A soldier shouted to her not to ride in the direction Royce had taken.
Nicholaa paid no attention. She wanted to find her husband, to make certain he was safe, before she took cover. Her gaze scanned the hills while she frantically repeated her prayers.
Royce and his soldiers were within striking distance of the first wave of outcasts when Nicholaa spotted him.
Dear God, why did he have to be so big? He was such an easy target. Surely the enemy would take him down first.
Nicholaa tried to slow down her mount. She didn't want to get in her husband's way. The distraction could well cost him his life. Her attention was drawn to the top of the ridge just as she was nudging her horse to the west. A beam of sunlight bounced off the enemy's chest armor, blinding her.
She shifted in the saddle and looked up again. A lone rider, dressed in Saxon battle attire, suddenly raised his hand high into the air---a signal for the remaining horsemen to take up the attack. Approximately fifty Saxon soldiers, shouting their battle cry, galloped down the ridge.
Nicholaa couldn't take her gaze away from the leader. Sunlight shone all around him, giving him an almost mystical appearance. The light acted like a mirror, making him seem to be closer than he really was.
When the leader turned in his saddle and reached for an arrow, Nicholaa saw his profile.
She understood then why she'd been so mesmerized.
The Saxon leader was aiming at a target, his arrow nocked, his bowstring pulled taut.
Nicholaa started screaming.
Her brother Thurston was alive. And he was preparing to kill Royce.
Royce turned when he heard Nicholaa's scream. He slowed his horse just as she goaded hers into a full gallop. She reached his side and literally threw herself into his arms.
She was just in time. She took the arrow that was meant for him. The force of the arrow threw her hard against him. He caught her, then tried to force her down onto his lap so that his shield could protect her. He realized then that Nicholaa was pinned to him. The arrow had gone through her shoulder and into his hauberk.
Royce's anguished bellow echoed from above the ridge. He turned his mount and urged the big stallion toward the safety of the trees to the west. Nicholaa's long golden hair covered her injury, and though Lawrence hadn't witnessed the attack, his baron's shout told him something terrible had happened to his mistress. The vassal motioned to three other seasoned soldiers to follow their lord, then ordered another to command the raging battle. Then Lawrence followed his baron into the trees.
Royce thought Nicholaa had fainted. He considered that a blessing, for she wouldn't feel the pain when he pulled the arrow from her shoulder.
He was just about to dismount when she said, "Forgive him, Royce. He didn't know. He couldn't have known."
Royce didn't understand what she was talking about. When she went limp in his arms, he knew she couldn't answer his questions now. He couldn't have formed a logical question anyway, for his rage at what had just happened held his full attention.
Lawrence jumped from his mount and spread his cloak on the ground. He reached up to take Nicholaa from Royce so he could dismount without jarring her. Royce shook his head. "She's still pinned to me," he announced, his voice filled with anguish.
He didn't allow his vassal to assist him. His hands shook as he pulled the tip of the arrow from his hauberk, then took a calming breath before he dismounted. He couldn't stand to think about the torment to come. He laid Nicholaa's limp body on the cloak, snapped off the arrowhead, and slipped the shaft free.
She screamed. The sound tore at his heart. He whispered broken words of comfort as blood poured from her injury down upon his arm.
Lawrence was far more experienced at taking care of injuries than his overlord was. Royce's mind understood that fact well enough, but his heart didn't understand it at all. Lawrence tried three times before his leader would let him near Nicholaa.
She was just coming out of her swoon when the vassal poured liquid fire over her shoulder. She didn't scream this time; she roared. She lunged up at her tormentor, too. Royce had to hold her down. If she'd had a dagger, she might have killed the man who was trying to help her.
The concern on Lawrence's face finally penetrated her stupor. Her mind suddenly cleared. She realized she was shouting then and fell silent.
Royce was kneeling on the ground beside her, his hand on her other shoulder. Nicholaa took one look at the chilling expression on his face and almost fainted again. Lord, he looked furious. He seemed to want to kill someone, she thought, and since he was staring down at her so intently, she could only surmise she was the victim he had in mind. How dare he scowl at her? She'd just saved his life, hadn't she?
Oh, God, her brother Thurston had tried to kill Royce. It was too much to take in. Dear Lord, what was she going to do? Thurston was alive. But for how long?
She turned to look at her injury as Lawrence tore the bliaut away from her shoulder with his dagger.
Nicholaa realized it wasn't a fatal injury. The cut was deep, aye, but the bleeding had already slowed to a trickle.
Royce turned her face away. "Don't look at it," he ordered. "It will only upset you."
His voice shook. She thought it was because his throat was strained from not being able to shout at her.
Thurston was alive, and he was trying to kill Royce. Her husband would certainly try to kill Thurston, too, given the chance. What was she going to do?
She decided to take the coward's way out. She struggled to sit up, then pretended that the movement made her head spin. She slumped against Royce's side, whispered a pitiful plea that he put his arm around her waist to steady her, and closed her eyes.
A wave of nausea caught her by surprise. She wasn't sure if it was a reaction to her trickery or if she had lost more blood than she'd realized.
Lawrence lifted the hem of her gown, tore off a strip of her chemise, and began wrapping her throbbing shoulder.
Nicholaa looked down at the ragged bandages covering her hands and had to shake her head over her own condition. Lord, she was a mess. Since meeting Royce, she'd suffered one injury or indignity after another. If this continued, she'd be dead in a week. She started to mention this to her husband, just to prick his pride, but suddenly the light-headed feeling she'd pretended to experience only minutes before, came on all at once. She wasn't pretending this time when she asked Royce to tighten his hold.
"I can't decide if I'm going to lose my supper or swoon," she whispered.
Royce fervently hoped she'd swoon. She proved to be accommodating.
"She's sleeping again," Lawrence remarked.
Royce nodded. His voice was ragged when he said, "She's lost so much blood."
The anguish in his lord's voice wasn't lost on the vassal. "Nay, Royce," he replied. "Only a fair amount. She should be fully recovered in a week or two."
Neither warrior spoke again until Lawrence finished his ministrations. Royce allowed the vassal to hold Nicholaa while he remounted and then took Nicholaa into his lap. He noticed that the white bandage on her shoulder had already turned red. "She could bleed to death before we reach home," he muttered. Lawrence shook his head. "The flow has already eased," he said. "Royce, I don't understand your reaction. This isn't a life threatening injury."
"I don't wish to discuss my reaction," Royce interjected.
The vassal quickly nodded agreement. He regained his mount before speaking again. "Why did she interfere, my lord? Surely she realized your armor would protect you."
"She wasn't thinking," Royce returned. "She thought only to protect me."
He sounded baffled by his own explanation. "Nicholaa said something just after... I don't understand her meaning, Lawrence, but there is more to this than..."
He didn't continue. One of the soldiers drew his attention when he offered him his cloak. Royce accepted the garment and wrapped it around Nicholaa.
He then gave the order to call his men together. It was the first time in all his days that he'd retreated from a fight. He didn't hesitate though. Nicholaa was his only concern now. Nothing else mattered.
As it turned out, retreat wasn't necessary. Lawrence returned to Royce with the announcement that the attackers had fled as suddenly as they'd appeared.
Royce mulled over that oddity a long while. Although the rebels had clearly had the initial advantage, Royce could have turned the fight into a victory, as his soldiers were far more skilled than the Saxons were. That much had been evident from the way the enemy had rushed toward them from the hills. They had run without a thought of flanking the Normans or protecting their own backsides. There wasn't any discipline in their ranks. They had made an easy target for the Normans' arrows.
On the long ride to Rosewood, Royce kept trying to separate his mind from his emotions, a simple undertaking under usual conditions. His heart kept getting in his way, though. He told himself again and again that when he'd given the order to quit the battle, he'd merely been doing his duty. Nicholaa was his wife, and it was his responsibility to protect her. But why were his hands still shaking? Why was his fury over her injury so consuming he could barely think?
Damn it all, this inconvenience was getting out of hand. His wife was muddling his mind. His life was a carefully drawn map, and now she was easing her way right into his every thought.
It wasn't until they had reached the castle and Royce was carrying Nicholaa up the narrow steps to the bedchambers that he realized the full horror of his situation.
He didn't just care about her. He was falling in love with the woman.
God's truth, that admission so stunned him that he almost dropped her. He quickly recovered and continued on toward Nicholaa's chamber, his mind racing with all the reasons he couldn't possibly love such a stubborn, illogical woman. Hell, he didn't even like her most of the time.
Logic came to his rescue. It wasn't possible for him to love her. He didn't know how to love anyone. Aye, he told himself. He'd been trained all these years to be a warrior, and he had never learned how to love. Therefore, he reasoned quite logically, he couldn't possibly love Nicholaa.
It was all right to care about the woman, of course, for she was his possession. He could care as an owner would care about any valuable property.
Royce felt better after he'd sorted it all out. Yet he contradicted his new convictions by growling at all the servants who presumed they would take over Nicholaa's care. Baron Hugh had followed the parade of weeping women up the stairs. He stood in the doorway, watching with growing astonishment as Royce tried to put Nicholaa on the bed. The giant warrior couldn't seem to get the deed done. He leaned over the bed twice, but each time he straightened up, Nicholaa was still in his arms. Royce couldn't seem to let go of her.
Hugh took mercy on his friend. He ushered the servants out of the room, save for one, a sweet, plump temptress named Clarise whom he'd been trying to get into his bed for nearly a week now. He motioned for her to stand aside, then ordered Royce to put his wife down. His hand rested on Royce's shoulder. "Take your helmet off and see to your own comforts. Clarise will take care of Nicholaa."
Royce did put Nicholaa down and take his helmet off, but he refused to leave the room. He tossed the headgear into a corner, then clasped his hands behind his back and stood guard beside the bed. He saw Nicholaa jump when the helmet hit the floor. Could she hear them? he wondered. Perhaps she was finally coming out of her swoon. God, he hoped so.
Nicholaa knew exactly what was going on. She'd alternated between true sleep and pretending to be asleep all the way home. The pain in her shoulder had eased considerably, and she was feeling much better now. The problem was that she'd have to explain her actions to her husband once he knew she'd recovered, and she still didn't know what she was going to tell him.
She needed time to worry through this problem. She was still a bit stunned that Thurston was alive---thankful too, of course. As his only sister, she felt it was her duty to protect him. But she was also Royce's wife now. She had to give her loyalty to him and try to protect him as well. God, it was confusing.
Nicholaa started shivering. She was frightened for Thurston and for Royce. She knew her brother's stubborn nature. He wouldn't give up until he'd regained his holding, but Royce wouldn't let Thurston have Rosewood without a fight, either. One or both could die before the matter was settled.
She didn't want to lose either of them. What was she going to do? Should she trust Royce with the truth? Or would that be disloyal to Thurston?
Tears filled her eyes. She needed time to sort it all out before doing anything.
"She's in pain," Royce muttered, drawing her attention. "I want it stopped. Now."
Nicholaa didn't open her eyes. She wished Royce would take her into his arms and offer her the comfort she so desperately needed right now. She wanted him to tell her everything would be all right.
God help her, she actually wanted him to love her, if only just a little.
"We could send someone to the abbey for a healer," Hugh suggested.
Clarise had just finished sorting through the trunk, looking for Nicholaa's sleeping gowns. She carried a white cotton garment over to the bed. When Nicholaa moaned, Clarise burst into tears. She dropped the gown and began to twist the hem of her bliaut into a knot. "Lady Nicholaa cannot die," she cried out. "We would be lost without her."
"Stop that sinful talk," Hugh commanded. "She isn't going to die. She just lost a bit of blood, that's all."
Clarise nodded, then picked up her mistress's gown.
Hugh stood by Royce's side, staring down at Nicholaa. He rubbed his beard as he asked. "Was it an arrow that---"
"She threw herself in front of me to save me from taking that arrow," Royce interrupted.
"Royce she's going to be all right," Hugh said again. "Are you in the mood to tell me why she's here? I thought she was going to be given to some worthy knight as wife. Did the king change his mind?"
Royce shook his head. "She's my wife."
Hugh raised an eyebrow and smiled. "So you challenged for her after all. I guessed you would."
"I didn't challenge for her," Royce countered. He found his first smile when he explained. "You might say Nicholaa challenged for me."
Hugh let out a snort of laughter. "There's more to this tale than you're telling me. I'll demand the rest at supper. Now turn your mind back to this sorry matter, and explain to me why your wife would throw herself in front of you. You were wearing armor, weren't you?"
"Of course."
"Then why---"
"I'll have my answers when Nicholaa wakes up."
Nicholaa had heard every word of the exchange. She grimaced over the harshness in her husband's voice. She decided then and there she just might have to pretend to be asleep for another week or two, or until she could decide what to do about Thurston. She wouldn't lie to Royce, though. Her word was as important to her as her loyalty. She'd given her husband her promise, and she wouldn't break it.
"I pray to God Lady Nicholaa knows where she is when she wakes up."
Clarise's remark gained both warriors' attention.
"What are you rambling on about?" Hugh asked. "Of course she'll remember where she is."
Clarise shook her head. "There's those who don't remember a thing after they've been hit on the head or lost their blood. Some get confused. Others get forgetful. It's the truth I'm giving you," she added on a sob. "My lady might not even recognize me."
"I've never heard of such an affliction," Hugh scoffed.
Royce hadn't taken his gaze away from his wife during the conversation, so he alone noticed that the grimace eased from her expression and she suddenly looked quite peaceful.
Was she listening to their conversation? "Nicholaa, open your eyes," he commanded.
She didn't obey him. She groaned instead. It was a dramatic sound, not the least bit convincing. What was her game?
He couldn't contain his sudden smile. She was going to be all right. Relief swelled through him. "You will answer my questions when you wake up, Nicholaa."
She didn't respond. "She's still in a swoon, milord," Clarise whispered. "She's all tuckered out." Royce let out a long sigh. And then he waited. Several minutes passed. Clarise left to collect supplies to change Nicholaa's bandage. Hugh saw to starting a fire in the hearth. Royce didn't move from his position by the side of the bed.
She finally opened her eyes. Her gaze slowly turned to look up at Royce. Her eyes were clear, not cloudy. Her frown, he decided, was forced. He guessed her plan before she put it into action. "Where am I?" Nicholaa looked around the chamber before giving Royce her attention again.
He sat down on the side of the bed. "You're in your chamber," he answered. "You've been asleep a long while."
"I have?"
He nodded.
"Who are you?"
He hid his exasperation. He'd been right: Nicholaa had heard Clarise's remarks. He braced his hands on either side of her head and slowly leaned down. "I'm your husband, Nicholaa," he whispered, "the man you love above all others."
That announcement caused just the reaction he wanted. She looked astonished. He wanted more. "You don't remember?" he whispered.
She shrugged. He smiled. "I'm the man you begged on bended knee to marry you. Surely you remember how you pleaded---"
"I didn't beg you to marry me, you insolent---"
He silenced her with a long kiss. When he pulled back, she frowned up at him. He couldn't have been more pleased. In his mind, his wife was already on the road to recovery.
"You're going to have to explain your actions to me, Nicholaa."
She stared up at him a long while. "I know," she finally said on a long sigh. "I would ask that you wait until I'm feeling better, Royce. All right?"
He nodded. "You're also going to give me your word that you will never, ever take such a foolish risk again. You are completely without self-discipline, Nicholaa."
She was highly insulted. Royce stood up and walked toward the door. "I'll wait until tomorrow to hear both your confession and your apology, wife. You have my permission to rest now."
She bolted up in the bed. The action jarred her shoulder into stinging. "I was trying to save your hide, you ungrateful man."
Royce didn't pause in his stride. "Aye, you were," he acknowledged. "But there was more to your actions than you're telling, wasn't there?"
She didn't answer him. The spurt of anger had worn her out. She collapsed against the bed again. She was muttering her opinions of her husband when she noticed Baron Hugh standing by the hearth. Nicholaa was horrified the older knight had seen her act so undignified. "I don't usually raise my voice to anyone," she announced. "But that man does bring out my temper, Baron."
Hugh smiled. "Do you usually call your husband a son of a boar?"
So he'd heard her muttering. Nicholaa let out a sigh. "Only when I believe no one can overhear me," she confessed.
He walked over to stand next to the bed. "Are you rested enough to tell me what happened to you, Nicholaa? I'm intrigued by the bandages on your hands."
She frowned. "It has been a most difficult week, Baron."
"So it would seem."
"I was perfectly sound until I met Royce."
"Then you believe these injuries are all his fault?"
"Not directly," she hedged.
From the expectant look on his face, Nicholaa knew he wanted the details, but she wasn't up to giving them to him. Let Royce explain. "It's a long story, sir," she whispered. "A pitiful one, too. Suffice it to say that that man is responsible."
"That man?"
"Royce."
She closed her eyes and let out another sigh. Hugh assumed she wanted to rest. He turned to leave.
"I don't know why I bothered to save his life," she muttered. "Did he express his gratitude?"
Hugh paused in his stride. He was about to respond to her question when she answered it. "No, Baron, he did not. He wasn't pleased with my courageous act, either. Nay, he was furious with me. He's insufferable. You may tell him I said that, too, my lord."
She closed her eyes again. Hugh tried to leave the chamber a second time. He was waylaid in the doorway by a request to give Royce a few more of her opinions.
Fifteen minutes later Hugh was finally able to leave the chamber.
Royce met him at the bottom of the steps. "I was just about to send someone to get you," he announced. "Nicholaa needs her rest, Hugh."
There was such disapproval in Royce's voice that Hugh laughed. "I didn't wear her out, if that's your concern," he said. "God's truth, she wore me out giving me all her opinions of you. Would you like to hear a few of them?"
Royce let his friend see his exasperation. "I'm not interested in insignificant things. Nicholaa's safe now. When she recovers, I'll explain her duties to her."
He went to the door and started outside, but Hugh stopped him. "It's all so simple to you, isn't it, Royce?"
"Of course," Royce called over his shoulder. He took exception to the amusement he heard in his friend's voice. "I may be newly married, Hugh, but I understand that there is only one way this partnership can work to everyone's satisfaction. I will give the orders, and she will obey them. I'll be patient, of course. She deserves that consideration. Marriage is new to her, too," he added. "Once she catches on, life will go along peacefully. She only has to obey me, Hugh. It won't be difficult."
"Does Nicholaa understand this dictate?" Hugh asked.
"In time she will," Royce vowed. His voice was as hard as stone when he added, "I will have a peaceful home."
The door slammed shut on that promise.
Hugh turned to look up the stairs. He laughed again. Aye, he thought to himself, Royce would have peace. But Nicholaa would have his heart first.
She decided to be nice. After all, she'd tried everything else. Nagging hadn't worked. Neither had shouting. Nicholaa was getting desperate. She reasoned that if she turned pleasant, Royce might retaliate in kind. Perhaps then he would listen to her orders.
It was high time he brought Justin and little Ulric home. A full two weeks had passed since they'd returned to Rosewood. She'd expected Royce to collect her family right away, but it soon became apparent he wasn't in the mood to obey her commands. He avoided doing his duty as thoroughly as he'd been avoiding her. Why, in the past fourteen days, she'd seen her husband only six or seven times.
She hadn't minded his inattention the first few days. She knew he was irritated that she hadn't explained her actions on the day of the attack. Still, he'd agreed to wait until she was ready to tell him. At least that was the conclusion she came to when she'd made her position clear and he'd given her a no-nonsense nod.
Now that she thought about it, Nicholaa realized it was just after she explained her position that he had started ignoring her.
It was time to right things between them. She wanted to be a proper wife. God's truth, she hated the way he was ignoring her. He wasn't acting at all the way a husband should act around his wife, or so she believed from her extremely limited observations of marriages.
He wasn't sleeping in her chamber, either. Clarise told her he'd taken over the north bedroom, which had belonged to Nicholaa's father and mother. The large bed had been built to accommodate her father's sizable bulk. The hearth was enormous as well, since the area the fire warmed was thrice the size of Nicholaa's small room.
She understood Royce's reasons for selecting the chamber, yet still thought it rude he didn't sleep with her. He was her husband, after all, and they should rest side by side. The truth stung. He could have invited her to share his bed... but he hadn't.
Nicholaa didn't want to go on like this any longer. She was miserable. She decided she would have to put her pride aside. Come hell or high tide, she would find a way to turn this mockery of a marriage around.
She would start by finding out why he was avoiding her. She probably wouldn't like his answer, and she knew he could be as blunt as a dull knife when he gave his opinion. Still, she was determined to ask.
She dressed with care for dinner, bathing and washing her hair with sweet-scented soap. Clarise assisted her. The dear woman had openly wept when the bandages were removed from Nicholaa's hands and she saw all the scars.
Nicholaa had been embarrassed. The ugly marks were much more evident on her left hand and wrist.
She didn't consider herself a vain woman, but the hideous scars did worry her. Royce might be as repulsed by the marks as she was.
She decided to turn his attention from them by wearing her prettiest gown. The color was pleasing to look upon, or so she hoped. Both garments were the palest of blue. The fit was snug, but not overly so.
Yet maybe the gold would be a better choice. Nicholaa worried over that possibility until Clarise came back into the chamber. She then put the question to the servant. "Do you think my husband would prefer the gold or the blue?"
"I favor the blue, milady, but I don't know your husband's preferences."
"I don't know them, either," Nicholaa admitted. "Now that I think about it, I don't know any of Royce's preferences."
Clarise smiled at the irritation in her mistress's voice. When she picked up the brush, Nicholaa sat down on the stool. The servant brushed her hair until it crackled. Twice she began to fashion a braid, and twice her mistress changed her mind.
Clarise had never known Nicholaa to be so indecisive or so concerned about her appearance. "What's got you so riled, milady?"
"I'm not riled. I just want to look pretty tonight."
Clarise smiled. "Are you wanting to look pretty for anyone in particular?"
"My husband," Nicholaa answered. "I'm determined to get his attention tonight."
"Now, that's telling."
Nicholaa was thankful the servant couldn't see her face. She could feel herself blushing. "I've come up with a sound plan."
Clarise chuckled. "You've always got a sound plan."
Nicholaa smiled over the praise in the servant's voice. "In these trying times, one must always be a step ahead."
"The times aren't trying any longer," Clarise said. "Your husband's bringing order to the household, milady."
Nicholaa shook her head. Clarise had every right to be optimistic. She didn't know Thurston was still alive. Nicholaa hadn't told anyone that secret. She couldn't even think about her brother without a tightness settling inside her chest.
"For some the war is over," she whispered. "For others it has only just begun."
"What nonsense is this, milady?" Clarise asked. "You aren't talking about your marriage, are you, now? You aren't at war with your husband. You're just being a bit stubborn, if you're wanting my opinion."
Nicholaa didn't respond to the servant's opinions. Clarise turned her attention when she said, "Tell me about this plan of yours, milady."
"I'm going to be very pleasant tonight at dinner," Nicholaa answered. "Royce isn't going to rile my temper, no matter what horrible things he says to me. I hope that when he notices how accommodating I'm being, he'll reciprocate in like measure. Then perhaps he'll listen to reason and go fetch my family for me."
Clarise couldn't hide her disappointment. When Nicholaa stood up and reached for her braided belt, she caught the servant's frown. "You don't think my plan is sound?"
"Oh, it's sound all right," she agreed. "I'm just disappointed, milady. I hoped you were getting all prettied up for quite another reason."
Nicholaa adjusted the belt just so on her hips, then slipped her small meat dagger into one of the narrow loops.
"There is more to my plan," Nicholaa said. "I'm not at all happy with the way my marriage is going. Royce is difficult to get along with. Surely you've noticed how he ignores me. Why, every time I try to talk to him about Justin and Ulric, he turns and walks away. He's horribly rude. Right in the middle of my petition I suddenly find myself talking to his shadow."
"Petition?" Clarise replied with a snort. "Your husband leaves when you start ordering him around, milady. That's what I've noticed. You haven't been yourself these past weeks, if I may say so, and you've done more ordering and shouting than ever before."
Nicholaa knew Clarise was speaking the truth. She bowed her head in embarrassment. "My husband does prick my temper," she confessed. "Still, I promise there won't be any more shouting. I realize how unladylike it is."
The servant smiled. "You won't be doing any shouting because you realize it doesn't work with your husband."
Nicholaa nodded. "That, too," she said. "You can quit frowning, Clarise. I've decided it's time Royce and I put our differences aside."
"Well, praise God," the servant said. "You've finally come to your senses. It isn't right to sleep apart the way you two do. Are you telling me you're going to correct this shame?"
Nicholaa stared at the hearth. Lord, she was embarrassed. It was difficult for her to discuss such a personal topic. "I'm going to seduce him."
Clarise hooted with laughter. Nicholaa frowned at her. "This is a serious topic," she announced.
She waited for the servant to gain control of herself, then said, "Royce and I are going to have a fresh beginning. Marriage is a sacred vow, and it is my duty to give the man children."
Before Clarise could agree, Nicholaa rushed on. "It doesn't matter how it came to happen. Royce and I are married now. We must accept this and try to live together in harmony. I'm also thinking of Ulric. The baby deserves a happy home."
"You don't have to convince me, milady. I'm in favor of this plan. There is one problem I would mention, though. Doesn't your husband think Ulric's your son?"
"Yes."
Clarise let out a sigh. "He'll be noticing you lied, milady, when he beds you. You'd better tell him the truth before he finds out on his own."
Nicholaa shook her head. "I had good reason for telling that lie," she said. "I was protecting Ulric. As long as the Normans believed he was my son, they'd leave him alone."
"But things have changed," Clarise argued. "And you can't possibly believe your baron would harm the babe now."
The servant sounded outraged. Nicholaa realized then that Clarise had already given her loyalty to Royce. That pleased her, though she couldn't understand why. "Once I met Royce, I knew he wouldn't harm Ulric. Still, he might use him to get Thurston's cooperation. There is that worry."
"What foolishness are you talking?" Clarise asked. "We both know Thurston's dead." The servant paused to make a quick sign of the cross. "God rest his soul."
"What if he isn't?" Nicholaa asked.
"Your baron still wouldn't use the babe against him. I believe that with all my heart."
Nicholaa let out a sigh. She turned the topic just a little then. "I know that a marriage based on deceit is doomed. I've already given Royce my promise never to lie to him again."
"So you're going to tell him---"
"I'm going to get him sotted first," Nicholaa announced. "Then I'm going to tell him everything."
"Have you lost your mind, milady?"
Nicholaa laughed. The astonished look on Clarise's face was amusing. "I know what I'm doing," Nicholaa said. "Alice told me that when a man has had too much ale, he doesn't remember much of what he's been told. I'll confess my lie about Ulric and tell Royce another secret I've been worrying over, but if Royce is muddleheaded, he'll remember only bits of what I've told him come morning."
Clarise thought that had to be the most daft plan she'd ever heard. "You'd better have another plan in mind if this one doesn't take," she advised. "Alice is a twit, giving you such ignorant advice. A drunk man usually thinks only about sleep, but if he's set to dally, he won't be considerate, especially if he thinks you're experienced."
Nicholaa shook her head. "Royce would never hurt me."
"He might not want to, but..."
Clarise stopped trying to explain when her mistress walked out of the chamber. She chased down the corridor after Nicholaa. "Milady, you've come up with a poor plan this time. You'll have to take my word on this, for I've had quite a bit of experience, God forgive me, and you haven't had any experience at all. I've seen the way the baron watches you when you aren't noticing. He's wanting you something fierce, and unless you explain..."
They reached the entrance to the great hall. Nicholaa give Clarise an affectionate hug. "It will be all right," she whispered. "Don't fret so, Clarise."
"Dear Lord, put your pride aside, Nicholaa, and simply confess your lies."
"Pride has nothing to do with this," Nicholaa countered.
Clarise shook her head. "Nay, milady. Pride has everything to do with this plan of yours."
When her mistress shook her head again, the servant gave up. She moved to the shadows and stood there wringing her hands and wishing with all her heart it was Alice's neck she had between her fingers. Nicholaa forced a smile and slowly walked toward her husband.
He did look handsome tonight. He was dressed all in black, but the severe color made him look quite invincible to her. He was standing in front of the hearth beside Hugh, and the two men were in deep discussion. Nicholaa was pleased to see that Hugh hadn't yet left for London. He'd told her he would gather his men for the journey soon now. She was going to miss him, for he knew how to be pleasant. He played a fair game of chess, too. He wasn't any match for her, of course, and she always beat him quickly, but he was the only man who actually forced her to concentrate on the game. When she'd told him that one evening the previous week, Hugh had laughed until tears filled his eyes. She thought that was a strange reaction to her compliment, but she didn't tell him so for fear she'd hurt his feelings.
Royce didn't come into the hall often enough to challenge anyone to a game, but Nicholaa didn't want to play chess with her husband anyway. She knew she wouldn't be able to concentrate. Perhaps in another year or two, when she'd gotten used to his nearness and his handsome looks, she'd be able to think about the game. Then she would play him. She'd beat him, too. That thought made her smile.
Hugh noticed her standing there. He looked startled for a second or two, then bowed low and called out a greeting.
Royce simply stared at his wife and then motioned for her to come to him.
She gritted her teeth against the rudeness even as she obeyed the arrogant command. She stopped a foot away from the men and was in the middle of a curtsy when she realized Royce could see the scars on her hands. She straightened and hid her hands behind her back.
Hugh told her how lovely she looked. Royce didn't say anything. Nicholaa wouldn't let him sour her mood, though. She stood there, determined to remain patient and sweet-tempered until they finished their conversation.
"Do go on with your discussion," she said. "I didn't mean to interrupt."
Hugh turned back to Royce and said, "Will you tear down the wall first or the castle?"
Nicholaa let out a low gasp. "You think to tear down my home?"
"No."
Her relief was visible. Then Royce explained. "I'm going to reinforce my home with wood and stone."
"Why?"
"Because I want to."
It took all she had to smile. "Thank you for explaining."
"You're welcome."
There was a definite glint in his eyes. She noticed that right away. She didn't understand why he was amused. "I wasn't questioning you, Royce," she said. She bowed her head so she would look submissive. "I was only interested in your plans. What you do with this holding is no concern of mine."
She looked up in time to catch his smile. She took heart then. Being pleasant was far easier than she'd realized.
What was her game now? Royce wondered. He had never seen her act so agreeable. The last two weeks had been an ordeal... an invigorating ordeal, he qualified. There had been moments when he'd felt as though he was standing in the middle of a whirlwind. It hadn't been at all peaceful, and yet he was honest enough to admit that he enjoyed her clever attempts to outwit him.
Now she was acting submissive. It was probably killing her. Royce continued to smile as he said, "Then it wouldn't matter to you if I tore this building down and built another one?"
Since he'd only just announced his intention to reinforce the wood with stone, she felt safe lying. "No, it wouldn't matter at all."
"I'm thoroughly confused," Hugh interjected. "I thought that was your plan all along."
"It was," Royce said. "But then I decided that my plan might prove unsettling to my wife. She was raised here, Hugh, and I thought she might have strong feelings about having her home torn down. Now, however, I shall---"
"I do have strong feelings," she blurted out.
"But you just said---"
She forgot to be nice. "You aren't going to tear my home down, Royce."
He raised an eyebrow.
She let out a sigh. She hadn't meant to shout at her husband. "I hope you will leave the building alone."
"Then you were lying when you said---"
"I was trying to get along," she interrupted. "God's truth, that's almost impossible with you. Could we not eat our supper now and put this matter aside?"
Hugh was in wholehearted agreement. He hurried over to the table, bellowing for Clarise to bring on the food.
Nicholaa turned to follow Hugh. Royce held her by her arm and forced her to stand still. "You will speak the truth at all times," he ordered.
She turned to look up at him. "I am trying," she said. "I would like to please you."
That admission stunned him. "Why?"
"When I please you," she answered, "perhaps you'll begin to please me."
He grinned. "And how am I to please you?" he asked. He slowly pulled her closer to him.
"If you would bring Justin and Ulric home, that would please me," she said.
"Then I'll do that," he answered. His hand cupped her chin. "Just as soon as you explain your actions on the day we were attacked by the Saxons."
"Do you still wish me to apologize for interfering?"
He nodded.
She stretched up and kissed him. It was a gentle, undemanding touch. "I will give you your explanation tonight, Royce. When you've heard it, I don't think you'll want me to apologize. I haven't done anything wrong, and once I've explained, I'm certain you'll agree. You might even have to apologize to me. You do know how, don't you?"
She was smiling up at him so sweetly, looking so damn innocent too. It was difficult to believe she was the hellion he'd been living with these two past weeks.
"Nicholaa?"
"Yes, Royce?"
"You could drive a man to drink."
Dear God, she hoped so. His insult thrilled her. She almost laughed out loud.
The dimple was back in her cheek when she smiled at him. The temptation was becoming too much to resist. Royce had been determined to ignore her until she realized her demands weren't going to get her anywhere. Aye, she needed to understand her position in his household.
The stakes were too high for Royce to back down. He wanted Nicholaa's complete loyalty and honesty, and by God, he would have both before he touched her. Hell, he was the only one suffering in this marriage. Royce had recognized that truth quickly enough. Nicholaa was too innocent to understand the torment she was putting him through. She didn't have the faintest idea of her own appeal, either. The woman was so feminine. When she smiled up at him, all he could think about was touching her. She didn't understand the joy and fulfillment they could give each other in bed, and at the rate they were going, she'd be an old woman before she found out.
Perhaps he should change tactics. That thought popped into his mind even as he was reaching for her. He threaded his fingers through her hair to keep her captive as he slowly leaned down to her mouth. He intended to take one quick taste, but his wife went all soft and willing on him, and he couldn't stop himself from deepening the kiss. His tongue swept inside her mouth to rub against hers. The taste of her was intoxicating. It made him hungry for more.
He growled low in his throat when Nicholaa wrapped her arms around his waist and held him tight against her. The kiss turned hot, ravenous. His mouth slanted over hers again and again until he was shaking with his need for more.
It was time to stop. This was neither the time nor the place for such uninhibited behavior. Royce gently pulled back. She followed him. He was so pleased with that reaction he had to kiss her again.
Nicholaa was trembling when he finally forced himself to end their love play. She went limp against him. He held her close until they'd both regained their composure, then forced her chin up so he could see her eyes. He whispered the obvious: "I want you, Nicholaa."
The harshness in his whisper didn't frighten her. Nay, she was warmed by his confession. "I'm pleased you want me, Royce. I want you, too. It should be that way, shouldn't it, between husband and wife?"
He brushed her cheek with the back of his hand. "Yes, it should be that way, though in truth it is a rarity."
Nicholaa didn't know what to say next. She couldn't stop looking at him. He didn't want to stop staring at her. They stayed that way for what seemed an eternity. The spell was broken when Clarise's laughter reached them. Royce was the first to move. He grabbed Nicholaa's hand and led her to the table.
She shook her head in exasperation when she saw that Baron Hugh had Clarise pinned up against the far wall. The big Norman was diligently nibbling on her ear, and Clarise was thoroughly enjoying his attention until she realized her mistress was watching her. The servant quickly disengaged herself from Hugh's hold and scurried into the buttery. Hugh let out a loud sigh of regret. "She's leading me a merry chase," he muttered as he took his place.
Royce sat at the head of the table. Nicholaa took her place to his right. Hugh settled himself across from her.
Alice waited at the entrance to the buttery for her mistress to give the signal. The servant had already set the table with three silver goblets. As soon as Nicholaa motioned to her, Alice rushed over with a fat jug and filled each goblet with dark ale. She filled Royce's goblet to the rim. He didn't reprove her because he thought she was simply eager to please him.
Nicholaa immediately lifted her goblet and suggested a toast. She kept her hand turned away from Royce so he wouldn't notice the scars. She took a long drink, too, because she didn't want her husband to become suspicious.
She didn't stop after just one toast, either. No, she offered another and another until she'd given a salutation to everyone in England except the stable master. She was about to toast him, too, when bread trenchers filled with quail and pheasant were placed on the table. Thick loaves of freshly baked black bread and wide wedges of yellow cheese came next. Additional salt had been added to the meat to increase Royce's thirst. Nicholaa forgot about the added salt, though. Her head was muddled from all the ale she'd already swallowed. She ate a good portion of her supper, drinking heartily after each bite.
It didn't take Royce long to realize Nicholaa was up to something. Each time he took a drink, Alice was there to refill his goblet. He suspected that the two women were in league together. They kept giving each other knowing looks.
His wife wanted to get him drunk, but he was aware of her plan. Each time his goblet was refilled, he poured half of the ale into Nicholaa's cup. She couldn't refuse his generosity, and after a while she was too confused to notice. Within an hour, Nicholaa's eyelids were drooping and she was having extreme difficulty staying on her stool. Her elbow rested on the table, her head propped up in her hand.
"I believe this is the worst supper I've ever tried to eat," Hugh announced. "It's more salt than meat, Royce."
"Aye, it is," Royce agreed.
Hugh stood up. "I'm weary this evening. I'm taking to my bed. Now where did sweet Clarise wander off to?"
"She's hiding in the buttery," Nicholaa blurted out. She then apologized for the supper and bade Hugh a good night. She didn't realize how slurred her words were or how disheveled she looked. Her hair had fallen forward and hid half her face. She was fully occupied trying to keep her head from slipping off her hand.
Royce was exasperated with her. He waited until Hugh had left the hall, then motioned for Alice to leave and turned his attention to his wife. Just as he was about to demand that she explain her actions, she shifted and almost fell off her stool. Royce caught her before she hit the floor, then leaned back and pulled her onto his lap.
The room was spinning around Nicholaa. She reached up to put her arms around his neck, then changed her mind. She awkwardly tried to hide her hands in the folds of her gown.
"What are you doing?" he asked when she continued to pull at her gown. "Hiding my hands from you."
"Why?"
"I don't want you to see my scars. They're ugly," she announced. She pressed her cheek against his shoulder. "You smell nice, Royce. Like the outdoors."
Royce ignored the compliment and reached around her to take hold of her hands. He forced her to open her fists, then looked at the marks. He thought her skin must still feel tender, because the palms were bright red.
When he didn't immediately tell her what he was thinking, she whispered, "They're ugly, aren't they?"
"No."
She leaned away from him so she could see if he was teasing her or telling her the truth.
Royce almost laughed when he saw her disgruntled expression. A lock of hair hung over her left eye, and she looked half asleep.
"You have to tell me the truth," she announced. "They're ugly."
"No, they aren't ugly."
"They aren't pretty."
"No."
"Then what are they?"
His smile was filled with tenderness. "They're just scars, Nicholaa."
She was appeased. He kissed the frown away from her brow.
She smiled with pleasure. "I'm no longer perfect," she said in a cheerful voice that made him want to laugh again. "What say you to that?" She didn't give him time to answer. "Do hold still, Royce. You make the room spin when you move like that."
Since he hadn't moved at all, he didn't know how to correct that problem for her. He was still looking at her hands when he noticed the hard calluses on two of her fingers.
"Where did you get these calluses?" he asked.
The top of her head bumped his chin when she turned to examine her left hand. "What calluses?" she asked.
She was nearly doubled over in her bid to see her hands. It obviously hadn't occurred to her that she could have lifted her arm.
He controlled his exasperation. "The calluses on your other hand, Nicholaa."
He lifted her right hand. She frowned as she stared at her fingers, then smiled. "Oh, those calluses. They're from the loops, of course. Where else could I have gotten them?"
She'd lost him with that explanation. "What loops?"
"The ones my two fingers fit through."
He closed his eyes and prayed for patience. "But what do the loops belong to, Nicholaa?" he prodded again.
"My sling."
"Your what?"
She cuddled up against his chest, wondering why he'd gone all tense on her. Then she remembered how she'd felled him with a stone. Since she'd decided to be completely honest with him, she guessed she'd have to confess this transgression.
"I hit you with a stone from my sling, but I already admitted that to you. I wasn't at all sorry, either. I could have killed you if that had been my intent."
She paused to yawn noisily, then added, "Thurston taught me how to use a sling. Did you know that?"
He was too busy reacting to her confession to answer her. She'd tried to tell him before, he remembered, but he hadn't believed her. He did now.
"Lord, I'm sleepy," she whispered.
Royce let out a sigh. He decided to put the matter of the sling aside for now and get to the heart of the matter before his wife passed into a drunken slumber. From the look of her, that wouldn't be long in coming.
"Did you want to get me drunk?" he asked.
"Oh, yes."
"Why?"
"So I could seduce you."
She couldn't be more specific than that, he decided. "You thought you needed to get me drunk in order to seduce me?"
She nodded. The top of her head bumped his chin again. She rubbed the ache away. "You are sotted, aren't you? You drank at least twelve goblets of ale. I counted."
She'd miscalculated by at least eight cups, unless she'd kept count of her own consumption by mistake. "Have you ever been drunk, Nicholaa?"
Her gasp nearly knocked her off his lap. "Good heavens no. That wouldn't be ladylike, Royce. Only common wenches get drunk. Besides, I really don't like the taste of ale very much."
"You could have fooled me," he drawled.
She smiled. "Yes, I did fool you," she agreed. "I got you good and sotted, and you didn't even notice. Wasn't that clever of me?"
"You still haven't explained why," he reminded her.
"I think you're very handsome, Royce, but you already know that."
That explanation didn't make any sense. He wasn't irritated, though. Nay, he was astonished. "You think I'm handsome?"
"Of course," she answered. "I have this plan, you see, and you're following it quite nicely."
"And what is this plan?"
"Now that you're sotted, I'm going to confess my lies to you. You're too drunk to be upset. Then I'm going to seduce you. Do you see how easy it is, husband?"
"No," he answered. "Tell me why it's easy."
"In the morning you aren't going to remember what I told you."
The woman was as daft as a donkey. "What if I do remember?"
She frowned over that question a long while before answering. "Then you'll have bedded me and only half remember. Alice says so."
"For the love of God, Nicholaa---"
She poked him in the shoulder. "It's a sound plan, Royce."
He rolled his eyes heavenward. The plan belonged to a half-wit. "Why go to all this trouble, wife?" he asked then. "Couldn't you have just explained?"
"Why must you complicate everything?" she asked. "This is my plan, not yours. We have to do it my way. You're confusing me with all your questions."
She was getting all worked up. Her eyes filled with tears, and she looked as if she might break into a fit of weeping.
He tried to soothe her. "All right," he said. "We'll do it your way. Let's begin with the lies, shall we? Then we can move on to my seduction."
"It's my seduction, not yours."
He didn't argue with her. "I assume there is more than one lie. Is that correct?"
"Yes."
"Which one would you like to tell me about first?"
"The big one."
When she didn't continue, he prodded her. "I'm waiting, Nicholaa."
"I'm not Ulric's mama."
She tensed in anticipation of his reaction. Royce didn't say anything. She leaned away from him to see if he was frowning. He wasn't. She took heart. "I've never even been married."
"I see."
She shook her head. "No, you don't see," she whispered. "You think I'm experienced, but the truth is just the opposite."
He still didn't react. She didn't know what to make of that. Perhaps he didn't understand. "Royce, this is going to upset you, and I'm sorry for that, but I'm really still..."
She couldn't get the word out. He took mercy on her. "You're still a virgin?"
"Yes."
"And you believed I would be upset by this news?"
"You needn't smile at me, Royce. I had to tell you before I seduced you. You were bound..." She stopped in mid-sentence to frown up at him. "You would have noticed, wouldn't you?"
"Yes, I would have noticed."
"There, do you see?" she asked. She leaned farther back and would have kept right on going if Royce hadn't tightened his hold around her waist.
"Tomorrow you won't remember any of this discussion. You can't know little Ulric belongs to my brother. It wouldn't be safe for the baby, especially when you find out Thurston's still alive."
She started getting misty-eyed again. Royce pulled her close. "Nicholaa, I know you're having a little trouble concentrating now, but I want you to try to understand what I'm going to say to you."
"All right."
"You're afraid of me, aren't you?"
"Perhaps just a little."
"I don't want you to be even a little afraid," he whispered. He squeezed her to emphasize that statement, then continued. "Do you know, you have a much stronger temper than I do."
She thought about that remark for a long minute, then nodded. "Thank you, husband."
He held his exasperation. "It wasn't a compliment, just an observation."
"I admit I do raise my voice every now and again," she whispered.
"You're turning the topic, Nicholaa. I want to talk about this unreasonable fear you have of me."
"It isn't unreasonable," she muttered. "And I'm not overly afraid. I'm just a cautious sort, that's all."
"Caution is all good and well, wife, but you needn't be cautious around me. No matter how often you provoke me, I'll never hurt you."
"You hurt my feelings when you ignore me."
"That's different."
She let out a sigh. "I don't see how."
"Tell me what happened the day we were attacked."
"I interfered."
"I know you interfered. I want to know why."
"I shouldn't tell you," she whispered. "But I want to tell you. I don't know what to do. You're going to be furious with Thurston. Please don't hate my brother. He didn't realize he was trying to kill you. I mean to say, he probably meant to fell you, but he couldn't have known you were my husband."
"Nicholaa, will you try to make sense?" he ordered. "Thurston is still alive? Is that what you're telling me?"
"Oh, God, how did you guess?"
"Your brother's in league with the resistors against William."
His cunning amazed her. "How did you guess that?" she asked him.
He didn't remind her that she'd just told him. "And Thurston is Ulric's father, isn't that right?"
"Yes," she cried out. "But you won't remember whom the baby belongs to in the morning, Royce. Promise me."
He was suddenly furious with her. "Do you actually believe I'd hurt the baby just because his father is my enemy?"
She snuggled up against his shoulder. "No, you wouldn't hurt him, but you might use him to get Thurston. My brother was leading the soldiers who attacked us, Royce. I saw him."
"Damn it all, Nicholaa, I would never use Ulric in such a way. How could you think..."
He quit protesting when he realized he'd already done just that by using the baby to force Nicholaa to leave her sanctuary. It was only logical for her to assume he'd use Ulric again.
His anger evaporated. His mind was reeling with the information she'd given him. "Nicholaa? Did you see your brother before or after you took the arrow in your shoulder?"
She put her arms around his neck. Her fingers began to toy with his hair. He stopped that distraction by pulling her hands away. "Answer me," he commanded.
She let out a sigh. "It was Thurston's arrow that hit me," she said. "You were his target"
His smile was tender. "That's why you screamed, isn't it?"
"I was afraid for you," she said. She kissed his chin, then fell back against him. "You can't blame my brother. He didn't know I was there. He loves me, Royce. He would never intentionally hurt me."
It all fell into place now. Thurston must have realized what he'd done after he dispatched the arrow. Nicholaa's white-blond hair must have been visible to the Saxon warrior. Royce remembered the anguished bellow that came from the crest and mingled with his own outraged roar. Aye, Thurston knew what he'd done. That was the reason he'd ordered the retreat.
God help Nicholaa. She'd had a hell of a time since she'd met him. He kissed the top of her head and then stood up, cushioning her in his arms.
"Do you doubt that Thurston loves me?" she asked.
"No, I don't doubt his love," he answered. "I do doubt his eyesight," he added in a mutter. "He damn well should have---"
"Thurston has wonderful eyesight," she announced. "I've better, though. Do you know I can hit any target with my sling?"
She reached up and touched the small jagged scar on his forehead. "That's exactly where I meant to hit you, husband."
He couldn't help noticing how cheerful she sounded. "You do not regret injuring your husband?" he asked, his amusement obvious.
"You weren't my husband then," she answered. "I use arrows, too, sometimes." She kissed his chin again, then whispered, "I'm always accurate. The first knight your William sent to seize my holding took one of my arrows home with him."
Royce had just started carrying her up the steps. He stopped and looked down at her. She was looking thoroughly pleased with herself. "You're the one who put the arrow in Gregory's backside?"
Since he wasn't going to remember much of anything in the morning, she felt it was safe to boast. "Just below his backside, in his thigh. It was just a flesh wound, Royce, meant to stop him from taking my home."
He shook his head. "I thought you said your brother's second-in-command was in charge of the defense. Are you telling me you lied about that, too?"
"No, John was in charge some of the time."
"But you interfered?"
"Just a little." She slumped back against his shoulder. "You smell nice, Royce."
She'd obviously forgotten she'd already said that. He continued on up the steps and walked down the long corridor past her own chamber and on to his own.
His squire, a dark-haired lad named Trevor, waited inside to assist his lord. Royce dismissed the boy with a quick motion of his head, then shut the door behind him.
A fire blazed on the hearth. The room was as warm, as inviting, as the woman cuddled up in his arms. Royce walked over to the bed and sat down with Nicholaa in his lap.
He thought she'd fallen asleep until she said, "Have you noticed how sweet-tempered I've been this evening?"
Her voice was a sleepy whisper. "I noticed," he said.
"Mama used to say you can catch more vermin with sweet than with sour."
That statement baffled him. "Why in God's name would you want to?"
"Want to what?"
"Catch vermin."
"I don't want to catch vermin," she muttered. "I want to catch you." Lord, how she wished her husband would quit tossing her about in his arms. She grabbed hold of his shoulders to steady herself. Her head was spinning, and her stomach was fighting waves of nausea.
"Nicholaa?" he said. "About this plan of yours..."
"What plan?"
He gave up. He continued to hold her until he was certain she'd fallen asleep. Then he set about the task of undressing her.
He couldn't stay irritated with her. She was a master with her games of manipulation, but he understood her motives now. She was trying to hold her family together, any way she could. Aye, she was trying to survive.
It was going to take her time to learn to trust him completely, he knew, and then perhaps they would be able to settle down to a peaceful life together. He wanted her to be happy. He didn't know how he was going to achieve that goal, though, until the problem with Thurston was solved. Hell, he might have to kill the bastard. That certainly wouldn't win Nicholaa's heart.
Royce felt that he was in an impossible position
But then, so was Nicholaa. She was desperately trying to protect her brother from him and, at the same time, protect him from her brother.
There was much to consider before he formed his plans, he decided. Nicholaa wore only her chemise now, and he was about to pull the covers up over her when he changed his mind. He slowly reached for the silk ribbon that held her chemise in place. His hands shook when he touched her bare skin.
Lord, she was exquisitely formed. Her breasts were full, her waist incredibly narrow, and the gentle flair of her hips couldn't have been more pleasing to him.
He stripped off his own clothes. Then be stretched out next to his wife. If she didn't touch him, he might be able to stand the torment of having her warm body so close.
It took Royce a long while to fall asleep. All of Nicholaa's worries filtered through his mind.
And then his mind returned to the one remark she'd made so matter-of-factly that he knew it was true.
She wanted to seduce him.
A man couldn't ask for more than that.
Nicholaa awakened to the sound of a waterfall thundering in her ear. It took her a long time to realize what the noise was, and she didn't have any idea at all until she tried to move.
She felt Royce then. His arm was wrapped around her waist. They both slept on their sides. She was in front, with her backside snuggled up against his groin. The noise was her husband's snoring.
Her feet were tucked between his legs. She slowly edged away from him and was about to roll onto her stomach when he tightened his hold and pulled her back up against him.
The movement almost killed her. Her head felt as though it might split in half. She went completely still. Her stomach immediately calmed down. Her mind didn't. Dear God, what had happened last night? She couldn't remember.
She'd slept with her husband. That was the only fact she was certain of. She had no idea what else had happened.
Had she gotten him sotted or had she gotten herself sotted instead? Nicholaa closed her eyes. It was too much to think about with her head pounding. Perhaps if she went back to sleep for just a little longer, she'd feel refreshed enough to remember.
Royce awakened just a few minutes later. Morning light filtered through the window he'd left uncovered. He lifted his head to look at his wife. Her eyes were closed. He thought she might be pretending sleep just to avoid him.
He gently nudged her. She groaned. "Nicholaa?" He whispered her name. She reacted as though he'd roared it. Her hand flew up to cover her ear.
"Are you still sleepy?" he asked. He rolled her onto her back and leaned over her.
The movement made her want to gag. She slowly opened her eyes and looked up at him. Her first thought was that he didn't look ill. Nay, he appeared fit. Happy, too. A lock of hair had fallen over his forehead, giving him a boyish look. If she'd had the strength, she would have eased his hair back where it belonged. The man didn't need much sleep, she supposed. His eyes were filled with laughter, and he seemed ready to take on the world.
He thought she looked like hell. Her eyes were so bloodshot it hurt to look at them. Her complexion was greenish. The aftereffects of too much ale, he decided. His wife was going to suffer this morning.
She fell asleep again while he stared at her. He leaned down and kissed her brow, then rolled onto his side to get out of bed. The movement woke her up. She grabbed hold of the covers to keep herself from shaking.
He noticed that action. "Aren't you feeling well Nicholaa?" he asked.
If he didn't quit shouting, she was going to die. "I'm fine," she whispered.
He laughed. His wife sounded as if she were being strangled.
The man was a morning talker. She vowed to work on that flaw. Royce kept up a steady one-sided conversation while he dressed. God, he was cheerful. She wished she could put a gag in his mouth. It was a mean thought, she knew, but she didn't much care.
Royce shouted his farewell, then deliberately slammed the door. He wasn't finished with his cruelty, though. He caught Clarise at the bottom of the steps and told her to bring a trencher of food to his wife's chamber.
Ten minutes later, when Clarise presented the meal to her mistress, Nicholaa literally bolted from the bed. She made it to the chamber pot without a second to spare.
It took her all morning to regain her strength. By nooning she was feeling better. She finally got dressed in a green bliaut, but she changed when Clarise mentioned the color matched her complexion. The royal blue gown was much better, or so the servant decreed.
Her hair hurt too much to let Clarise braid it. Nicholaa gritted her teeth while the servant brushed the tangles away, then used a blue ribbon to secure it behind her neck.
"Are you going to tell me what happened last night?" Clarise asked.
"I don't know what happened last night," Nicholaa whispered.
"You were stark naked when you got out of his bed this morn, milady. Something happened."
"Oh, God, I was naked, wasn't I? Clarise, I don't remember last night. What am I going to do?"
The servant shrugged. "You'll have to ask him what happened, but first you need to take a nice stroll outside. The fresh air will clear your head."
"Yes, I'll go outside. Then maybe my head will clear and I'll remember."
Clarise nodded. "Milady, you aren't feeling a little tenderness?"
"My head's feeling tender."
"That wasn't my meaning," Clarise said. She handed Nicholaa her cloak.
"What was your meaning?" Nicholaa asked.
"Never you mind," the servant countered. "Get your fresh air. It will all come back to you eventually."
Nicholaa hoped the servant was right. She wanted to remember what she'd told Royce. More, she wanted to remember what had taken place in the bedchamber.
The cold air did clear her thoughts. She felt much better, but she still didn't remember anything.
She intercepted her husband as he was returning to the courtyard from the lower bailey. She hurried over to him. "Royce? I would like to ask you about last night."
"Yes?"
She moved closer to him so she wouldn't be overheard, then lowered her gaze. "Did you have a little too much ale?"
"No."
"I did."
He put his thumb under her chin and tilted her face up. "Yes, you did."
He looked serious, but not angry. "I don't remember what happened," she whispered. "What did I do?"
"You talked."
"And what did you do?"
"I listened."
She let him see her displeasure. "Please don't make this difficult for me. Tell me what I said. I would like to remember."
He decided to make her wait. "We will discuss this tonight," he announced. He tried to walk away from her.
She grabbed hold of his arm. "Please," she whispered. "Answer just one question now."
He turned back to her. "All right," he agreed. "What is it you wish to know?"
She couldn't look at him when she asked her question. "Did I please you last night?"
The shyness in her voice, added to the blush on her cheeks, told him exactly what she was asking him. She wanted to know if she'd pleased him in bed. He clasped his hands behind his back and waited for her to look up at him. When she finally did, he shook his head. "Not particularly," he announced.
She looked devastated. "I'm sorry if I disappointed you," she whispered. "It's usually a little... awkward the first time, isn't it?"
"No." His voice turned hard. "It should have been easy for you."
She let out a gasp. The man was heartless. Her eyes filled with tears. "I wasn't experienced, Royce," she muttered.
"No, it was obvious to me you had no experience." he countered.
"And that displeased you?"
"Of course," he drawled out. "Nicholaa, telling me the truth should never be awkward, with or without experience."
Her eyes widened. Dear God, they weren't even talking about the same issue. She was acutely relieved. The feeling didn't last long. Royce smiled. She decided then that he'd deliberately misled her.
"I wasn't talking about telling the truth," she muttered.
"I know."
He was a cruel-hearted man. She decided she was finished with the conversation and turned to leave. He grabbed her shoulders and forced her to turn around. "As I said before, wife, we will discuss this tonight." She was still frowning at him when suddenly he pulled her into his arms and kissed her soundly. Several soldiers were strolling past, but she forgot all about her audience when Royce deepened the kiss. She was enjoying herself too much to care about anything but kissing him back.
He finally pulled away. "I like the way you respond to me," he murmured.
She melted against him. "Thank you. I'm happy I please you."
He smiled against the top of her head. "Tomorrow I'll go and get Justin and Ulric. Does that please you?"
He had his answer when she hugged him tight.
Lawrence called out to Royce then, drawing his attention. Nicholaa immediately disengaged herself from her husband and rushed back inside. She was so excited about Justin and Ulric coming home that she could barely contain herself. There was much to do in preparation. Justin would take over her chamber, she decided, and Ulric would sleep with her and Royce.
When Royce joined her at the supper table, she explained the sleeping arrangements to him. He dampened her good mood when he shook his head "Ulric will have your old chamber. Justin will sleep with the other soldiers."
"But he's my brother," she argued. "Shouldn' he..."
She gave up her argument when his hand covered hers and he started squeezing. Hugh was watching them, and Nicholaa decided her husband didn't want her to argue in front of him.
"We will discuss this later," she announced with a smile in Hugh's direction.
"No, we won't," Royce replied. "The matter is settled."
He squeezed her left hand again. She smiled sweetly up at him as she placed her right hand on top of his and gave him a good squeeze. Surprised by her boldness, he almost smiled.
"I'm leaving for London tomorrow," Hugh announced. "I'm hoping for one last game of chess this evening, Nicholaa."
"Will you be upset when I beat you again?" she asked.
Hugh grinned. At first she thought it was because she'd teased him about being upset. Then she realized he was watching the silent tug-of-war she was having with her husband. She kept trying to pull her hand away, and Royce wasn't letting her.
"I never get upset, Nicholaa," Hugh announced. "It won't matter, anyway, for I plan to win this game. I've just been toying with you until now. Since I'm leaving in the morning, I've decided to beat you soundly. You'd best prepare yourself to be upset."
She laughed at his arrogance. Royce smiled. "I hate to disappoint you, Hugh," he interjected. "But Nicholaa's going to be busy after dinner. She and I are going to have a discussion. Aren't we?"
He squeezed both her hands to let her know he didn't want an argument. Nicholaa didn't like the look in his eyes or the set of his jaw. It was the look he always wore when he was about to lecture her.
Hugh didn't want to be denied this one last opportunity to play chess with Nicholaa. "I'm not above pleading," he told Royce.
Nicholaa thought the baron looked like a child whose sugar treat had just been taken away. She didn't want his last night to be a disappointment.
"I could play one quick game," she told Royce. "It wouldn't take me any time at all to humiliate Hugh. You could give me your lecture while we play, husband."
It sounded like a perfectly good plan to her. Royce obviously didn't agree. His frown was fierce. "I'm not going to lecture you," he announced. "The two of us are going to have a discussion."
She gave him a disgruntled look. She would have snorted, too, but it wouldn't have been ladylike. "The kind of discussion on the way to London where you do all the talking and I do all the listening?" She didn't give him time to answer, but turned back to Hugh. "Sounds like a lecture to me," she said.
Hugh was trying not to laugh. Nicholaa seemed to be deliberately pricking her husband's temper. Royce didn't look happy with his wife either. He let go of her hands and leaned back, then folded his arms across his chest. His glare could have set a fire.
She had trouble holding on to her smile. She refused to back down, though. The man was going to lecture her, and she wanted him to admit it. "I was only making an observation," she announced.
His wife was totally without discipline, arguing with him in front of a guest. It didn't matter that Hugh was his good friend. The issue he wished to discuss with her was of a personal nature and came under the heading of "family concerns." She should have more sense than to drag an outsider into their problems.
"You may play one game of chess," he said. "But only one. Do you agree, Hugh?"
His friend was already rushing toward the fireplace to gather the wooden chess pieces from the mantel. The man was literally rubbing his hands together in anticipation.
Nicholaa smiled and turned back to Royce. "I also agree," she said.
Royce raised an eyebrow. "Agree with what?"
"To play only one game."
"I didn't ask for your agreement, Nicholaa." He smiled when he said that.
She shook her head. "Sometimes I find you most difficult to get along with, Royce."
"Only sometimes?"
When Alice rushed over to clear the table, Nicholaa was glad for the interruption. "I do hope your mood improves," she whispered to her husband. She stood up and helped Alice with the chore just to get away from her husband's frown.
As soon as the table was mopped dry, Hugh placed the board in the center and spread out the chess pieces. One of the wooden statues toppled to the floor. Nicholaa let out a little gasp. "Do be careful, Hugh. My father carved those pieces. I wouldn't want anything to happen to them."
Hugh retrieved the chess piece, checked it over, and then polished it with the sleeve of his tunic. "It's good as new, Nicholaa. Your father really carved this? Have a look, Royce. It's a piece of work, it is. Look at the detail on the helmet. Your father was clever with his hands, Nicholaa."
Royce took the statue and held it closer to the candles to get a better look. Nicholaa walked over to stand behind him, putting her hand on his shoulder and leaning forward to look at the piece with him. "See the nick in the black queen's crown? I remember how that happened. As he carved that piece, Papa was telling us an amusing story that we had all heard at least a dozen times, and when he finished the tale, he laughed so hard he cut his finger and nicked the wood just there." She leaned farther forward until she was draped over Royce's shoulder and pointed out the small flaw in the chess piece.
The pleasure in her voice wanned him. "And did you laugh with your father even though you'd heard this story countless times?" he asked.
She smiled at him before answering. The sparkle in her eyes made his chest tighten. He liked seeing her so carefree, he decided. "Of course we laughed. Mother said we'd hurt papa's feelings if we didn't."
"So his feelings were important to your mother?"
Nicholaa nodded. "Just as your feelings are important to me." Her expression turned serious. "Why do you look surprised?" she asked. "A wife should care about her husband. It's the way of things."
She couldn't seem to stop herself. He had such an intent look on his face as he stared at her. It was as though she had spoken in a foreign language. She wanted to ease his frown. She kissed him.
He was stunned by her spontaneous action. She became embarrassed and pulled back, thinking to put some distance between them, but he wouldn't let her move away. He reached up and caught her arm.
"Tell me about the rest of these pieces," he commanded in a gruff voice.
"Do you really wish to know or are you just being polite?"
He grinned. "I'm never polite, remember? I'm rude."
He was teasing her. The sparkle in his eyes indicated as much. "Do you know," she said, "that you have beautiful silver chips in your eyes?"
She didn't realize she'd made that comment out loud until he shook his head. Her blush intensified. She took her place across the table from Hugh. "Do you notice how the white queen tilts to the left? Justin tried to improve on the base. He was only eight or nine at the time, so Papa didn't become too irritated with him. He said Justin was only trying to be helpful. Everyone in the family helped with the pieces."
"And what did you do?" Royce asked. "Which piece bears your handiwork?"
"Mother and I were given the assignment of painting and polishing the pieces. The whites are my work, and the blacks were done by mother."
"It's a beautiful set," Hugh announced. His voice became abrupt when he added, "Now put this chitchat aside, Nicholaa. On to the game."
"You're our guest," Nicholaa said, "so you should have the first move."
Hugh nodded. "Prepare yourself for defeat."
"I'm prepared," Nicholaa answered. She winked at Royce, drawing yet another surprised reaction, then said, "Some my favorite memories are tied to this I chess set. The pieces are all I have left of my parents. I must remember all the stories, Royce, and pass them on to our children."
Hugh pondered his first move a good five minutes and finally executed it. Nicholaa barely glanced down at the board before moving her pawn forward.
"Traditions are very important to you, aren't they, Nicholaa?" Royce asked.
Hugh drummed his fingertips on the table while he considered his next action. He was scowling in concentration. Nicholaa whispered her answer so she wouldn't disturb Hugh. "Yes, traditions are important to me. Are they important to you?"
"The tradition of telling the truth at all times is very important to me."
She gave him a disgruntled look, then saw that Hugh had made another move. She immediately countered.
"But are other traditions important to you?" she prodded Royce.
He shrugged. "I hadn't thought about it."
"This game's important to me," Hugh grumbled. "Cease this banter, woman. You need to think about what you're doing."
Both players made three more moves apiece before Nicholaa turned back to Royce. He'd been watching the game, and she had noticed that each time she executed a move, he smiled. She wondered what he was thinking.
"They should be important to you," she blurted out.
"What?"
"Traditions."
"Why?" Royce asked. He leaned closer to the table to observe the game.
"Because they're important to me. Check, Hugh."
"It can't be check yet."
She gave him a sympathetic expression. "Your queen's trapped."
"Nay, she's not." He wailed that denial.
Nicholaa hid her smile, moved her bishop, and then snatched Hugh's queen from the board.
Royce was having difficulty believing what he'd just witnessed. After the first two moves, he'd thought the cunning she'd shown was but a fluke. He was forced to reevaluate that position when she executed her next move. The game was brilliantly executed. She was brilliant.
Hugh's head fell to rest on his arms. "It didn't take more than eight moves to best me."
Nicholaa reached over and patted his shoulder. "You're getting much better with each game, Hugh."
He straightened up. "No, I'm not," he muttered. "But you've got a kind heart to lie to me, Nicholaa."
"I'm not lying," she blurted out with a hasty glance in her husband's direction. "You really have improved."
Hugh snorted. He stood, bowed formally to Nicholaa, and then announced he was going to bed. "I'm going to miss your wife more than I'll miss you, Royce," he called out as he strode toward the entrance.
"In court Hugh's considered a good chess player."
Royce remarked. Nicholaa smiled. The dimple was back in her cheek.
"I'm better."
He couldn't contradict that arrogant reply. She was better. "Aye, you are better," he acknowledged. "But then, so am I."
"Perhaps," she allowed. "I won't be challenging you to a game, though. Your feelings would be hurt when I beat you."
He was so astonished by the remark that he burst into laughter. "You wouldn't beat me, wife, and my feelings wouldn't be affected."
The look she gave him suggested she didn't believe him. She started to stand up, thinking she'd put the chess set back on the mantel, but Royce stopped her by placing his hand on hers.
"Stay where you are, wife. It's time for our discussion."
Then he stood up. Nicholaa let out a little sigh. She smoothed her hair back over her shoulders, folded her hands on the tabletop, and smiled up at Royce. He'd moved to the other side of the table and now stood there towering over her. "I'm ready to listen," she announced. "About last night..."
"Yes?"
"That was yet another attempt on your part to manipulate me, wasn't it?"
Royce patiently waited for her to deny her scheme to get him drunk. Then he was going to force her to be honest, even if it took him the rest of the night. He had his argument ready, point by logical point. "Yes, Royce, I was trying to manipulate you." He was brought up short by her ready agreement. He quickly recovered. "Your plan went sour, didn't it?"
"Yes, it did."
"Do you remember what you told me?" She was getting a crick in her neck from having to look up at him. She wished he'd either sit down or back up a step or two. "Only little pieces," she admitted. "I believe I told you Ulric is my brother's son. Or had you guessed that?"
He was about to answer her, then changed his mind. "All right, Nicholaa," he said in a clipped voice. "What is this new game you're playing?"
"I'm not playing a game."
"Then why are you being so agreeable?"
She lifted her shoulders in a dainty shrug. "I promised to be completely honest with you."
"And you believe you were being honest with me last night?"
"I had planned to tell you several things last night," she returned. "I was going to be completely honest with you when I told you about my family. Yes, I was being honest all right. I certainly was."
"But you wanted to get me drunk first."
She nodded. "I thought it would be easier for you to accept the truth that way."
He shook his head. "You thought you'd manipulate me."
"I guess you could look at it that way," she countered. "I admit it was a foolish plan, Royce. Is that what you're after?"
He nodded. "It's a good beginning," he allowed.
"That's exactly why I did it. Also, I would like a new beginning."
"You would?"
She turned her gaze to her hands. "I would like for us to get along well together."
The wistfulness in her voice caught his attention. He stared at her for a long minute while he decided if she was being honest with him or trying to manipulate him again. "This is important to you?" he asked.
"Oh, yes." She looked at him. "Very important."
He believed her. He smiled.
"You are amused by my opinion?" she asked.
He didn't give her time to work herself up into a fit of temper. "I'm pleased, not amused," he explained. "I also wish for us to get along well together," he added gruffly.
Her eyes widened in surprise. He sounded so sincere. Then he nodded. She nodded back.
Hell, she'd taken all the bluster out of him. He was suddenly feeling as awkward as a fresh squire unfamiliar with his new duties.
"Well, then, we are in agreement," Royce said. She nodded again and started to stand up. He turned around and clasped his hands behind his back. She sat down again. She knew what was coming. Her easy agreement hadn't stopped him after all. It was time for the lecture. "A husband should have ultimate confidence that his wife will always be honest with him," he announced.
"But you've never been married before," she couldn't resist pointing out. "How can you know if that is true or not?"
"Nicholaa, a man doesn't have to be burned by fire to know the damage a flame can do."
She thought that was a rather peculiar comparison, but the intense look on her husband's face made her keep her opinion to herself.
"I'm older than you are," Royce began again. "You'll have to trust me to know what I'm talking about. Now then, Nicholaa, speaking of trust..."
Lord, how he liked to lecture her. He resumed his pacing and continued. Nicholaa bowed her head again and began to make a list in her mind of all the chores that needed to be done before Justin and Ulric came home. The floors should have a thorough scrubbing; the baby was crawling now, and she didn't want his knees to get dusty. She wanted Cook to prepare some of Justin's favorite dishes, too; that would please her brother. Tomorrow night they would have pheasant and sweet baked apples. Justin loved pheasant. And after the bird had been cooked, she would help Cook redress it with the colorful feathers just to make the dinner a little fancier.
"Don't you agree, Nicholaa?"
Her head came up with a start when she heard her name. Royce was staring at her, obviously waiting for a response. "Yes, Royce."
He nodded. Then he started in again. "Marriage is like a map."
"A what?" She sounded incredulous.
"A map," he said again. "Do not interrupt me when I'm instructing you."
He didn't raise his voice when he gave that command. He never raised his voice, she suddenly realized. Royce was a controlled, disciplined man. In truth, she couldn't help admiring his restraint. He was kind, too.
She caught a few more snatches of his lecture before she started daydreaming again and realized that everything he said was meant to ease her adjustment to her new status. He wanted her to be happy. That fact became more and more evident the longer he lectured.
The man cared about her---perhaps almost as much as she cared about him. Aye, she did care. She wouldn't have been sitting there acting so thoroughly interested in his every word if she didn't care just a little. She was behaving the way her mother used to behave, she realized. Papa loved to retell the same old tired stories again and again and her mother had pretended to be vastly amused each and every time he'd finished.
Royce liked to lecture her. And now she was pretending to be vastly interested. The traditions were continuing. A warm feeling filled her. Her mother would be proud of her, for just as she'd protected her husband's feelings, Nicholaa was trying to protect Royce's.
"And so, wife, I believe it would be a good idea for you to outline for me the duties you plan to undertake each day," Royce concluded. "It's yet another way we will be able to achieve order in our daily lives."
"Do you mean to say you want me to stand before you every morning and tell you what I plan to do that day?"
"Yes."
Her eyes widened in surprise. "But you aren't leaving any room for surprises, husband," she pointed out.
He looked appalled. "No, of course not. For God's sake, Nicholaa, haven't you heard a word I've said?" She guessed he'd already covered the topic of spontaneous actions. She didn't dare smile. "Oh, yes," she rushed out, trying to placate him. "I've learned quite a lot. I just wasn't certain how you felt about... surprises."
The excuse sounded pitifully lame to her, but Royce looked appeased. She did smile then. "Are you almost finished? It's getting late, and Clarise promised to have a bath ready for me before bed this evening. I don't want the water to get cold."
He gave her permission to leave. Her legs were stiff when she walked to the entrance. Lord, how long had she been sitting there?
She turned to say good night to Royce and noticed he was replacing the chess set on the mantel. She waited until he turned around. "Good night, Royce."
He looked at her for a long minute. "You're sleeping with me tonight."
The harshness in his voice didn't leave room for argument, but it didn't frighten her either. Nay, he was only letting her know he was determined.
But then, so was she. It was time their marriage became real in every sense. It didn't matter that she was a little afraid. In her heart she knew Royce wouldn't hurt her.
The servants had placed a wooden tub in her chamber. Nicholaa took a long bath, all the while reminding herself that everything would be all right. She was even able to smile when she realized she was lecturing herself.
Clarise hovered about, acting like a substitute mother, but once the servant believed Nicholaa understood exactly what was going to happen, she let the embarrassing topic drop.
Nicholaa hadn't told Clarise the full truth, however. She had only learned bits and pieces of information over the years about the marriage act. Her mother had only spoken in generalities, too.
Still, Royce would know what to do... if she ever gathered enough courage to leave her room and go to his, she thought to herself.
Clarise finished brushing her hair, then helped her put on her robe. "I don't believe he bedded you proper last night," the servant whispered. "You would have felt a bit of tenderness if he had."
Nicholaa nodded. "I don't believe he touched me," she whispered back. "It wouldn't have been honorable. I'm starting to understand how my husband's mind works, you see. He wouldn't have touched me when I was in such a... vulnerable condition."
Nicholaa tied the belt of her robe. She wore a white cotton sleeping gown underneath. She'd started to put on a heavy chemise first, but Clarise told her that wouldn't do.
The walk from her chamber to his took forever. She didn't hesitate, though. She opened the door and hurried inside.
Royce was kneeling in front of the hearth. He was barefoot, bare-chested, too. The display of muscles across his broad shoulders was impressive when he lifted a fat log and added it to the fire.
She stood there watching him for a long minute. She said a prayer of thanksgiving that he still had his pants on. She didn't want to start the night blushing. Royce would notice.
When she felt a draft around her ankles, she closed the door, then turned around to find Royce leaning against the mantel, staring at her.
She tried to smile.
He didn't smile back. "What are you thinking about, husband?" she asked, worrying over his dark, almost brooding expression.
"I was thinking that I'm married to a very beautiful woman."
Her heart started in pounding. "Thank you," she replied. She took a step forward. "Do you know, I believe that's the very first compliment you've ever given me."
He shook his head. "No, there was one other."
"There was?"
"I told you I thought you were cunning when you disguised yourself as a nun. Don't you remember? It was when we met again at the abbey."
She smiled. "I do remember, but I didn't consider that comment a compliment."
"Why not? It was more substantial than my comment about your appearance."
She was thoroughly confused. "Why was it more substantial?"
"A woman can't do anything about her appearance," he said. "Either she's pretty or she isn't. But her character is quite another matter. Now do you understand?"
"I understand you're trying to confuse me," she announced. "And I'm still pleased you find me attractive. It doesn't matter which compliment has more substance."
She was also pleased that her voice wasn't shaky. Her legs were. She didn't want Royce to know she was a little afraid and very embarrassed about what was going to happen. She was his wife now, not some silly little chit. Why, she didn't even think she was blushing now.
Her face was as red as fire. Royce let out a long sigh. Nicholaa was desperately trying to hide her fear from him, but even from across the room he could see how her shoulders trembled. She was wringing the belt of her robe into knots, another telling indication she was frightened.
"Should I latch the door?" she asked.
"Yes."
She nodded. She kicked off her shoes and walked over to the bed, forgetting in her haste that the door was still unlocked.
Nicholaa stopped, suddenly so nervous she couldn't stop rambling. "A compliment about one's nature is more important because a person has to choose how to behave, whilst a compliment about one's appearance doesn't mean overly much because there is no choice involved there. You didn't bed me last night, did you?"
It took him a minute to make the switch in topics. "No, I didn't bed you last night."
She turned her attention to taking her robe off. "I knew you hadn't," she whispered. "Still, I needed to ask."
She folded the robe just so, then placed it on the foot of the bed.
"Do you want me to get under the covers now?"
"Do you want to?"
She looked down at the bed, then up at Royce, then back to the bed again. A frown marred her brow. Royce thought she acted as though he'd just asked her to solve all the problems of the world.
"I don't believe I want to get into bed just yet," she finally answered.
"Then don't."
She turned to frown at him. "Why are you being so agreeable?"
He grinned. "I was told I could catch more vermin with sweet than with sour."
"Who would say such a ridiculous thing?"
"You said it," he answered. "Last night."
He had such an adorable smile that a little of her fear eased away. "I was sotted," she answered. She threaded her fingers through her hair and tried to concentrate on the conversation. "I'm ashamed of my behavior. I promise you it won't happen again. You did notice I drank only water with my supper tonight didn't you?"
He laughed. "I'm noticing you don't sound at all contrite," he drawled out. "That's what I'm noticing."
She smiled. She was starting to relax, for Royce didn't seem to be in any particular hurry to bed her. Perhaps he knew she was a bit nervous and was deliberately giving her time to rid herself of her fear.
That possibility made the rest of her fears vanish. She walked over to stand in front of him. The fact that he towered over her didn't seem to bother her now. His bare chest bothered her, though. Lord, he was a handsome devil. A warm knot settled in her stomach. His skin was bronzed, and he was powerfully built. His upper arms were sleek with roped muscles, and his chest was magnificent. A sprinkling of dark curly hair covered most of his chest, then tapered into a narrow line that disappeared below the waistband of his pants. She felt a little breathless just looking at him. It was a foolish reaction, she told herself, because she'd seen him without his tunic several times now.
Still, he hadn't been thinking about bedding her then. He was now.
Nicholaa noticed a long, thin scar running down the center of his chest. She touched the mark near the top, then followed the line with her fingertips. The muscles in his stomach contracted when her fingers touched him there.
"This blow should have killed you," she whispered. "You've led a charmed life, Royce, to have suffered so many injuries and still survived."
He was having difficulty concentrating on what she was saying to him. Her fingers were rubbing circles on his stomach. The feathery caress made his heartbeat quicken.
She liked touching him. The heat from his skin surprised her. He was hard all over, yet warm, too. His body reflected his spirit, she decided. Royce was ruthless in battle, but he was being gentle with her. Yes, the warrior's body protected a kind heart.
She wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him.
He put his arms around her and pulled her even closer, her cheek resting against his chest. "Royce? Will you explain what's going to happen?"
The shyness in her voice made him smile. He kissed the top of her head. He wanted her mouth. "No."
She leaned back so she could look into his eyes. "You aren't going to tell me?"
He put his hand under her chin so she couldn't hide her face from him, then slowly leaned down. When he was just a breath away from her mouth he said, "I'll show you instead, Nicholaa."
She didn't have time to wonder if that was a good idea. Royce caught her full attention when his mouth settled on hers. The kiss wasn't at all gentle. Nay, it was hot, wet, and blatantly possessive. He used his thumb to force her mouth to open wider for him, and then his tongue swept inside.
God, she tasted good. He couldn't get enough of her. His hands stroked her back, then moved lower until he was cupping her backside. He lifted her up and pulled her tight against his arousal.
Nicholaa tried to move away when she felt his hardness against her, but Royce wouldn't let her. He tightened his hold. His mouth slanted over hers again and again, until her resistance was forgotten and she was passionately kissing him back.
The sound of their breathing---his raspy, hers shallow---mingled with the pounding of their hearts.
He kept up the gentle attack for long minutes. He was determined to go easy, to savor each and every caress. When Nicholaa was ready for deeper intimacy, she would let him know.
Royce's legs were braced apart, and he continued to lean back against the mantel as he casually ravaged his wife's sweet mouth. It didn't take him long to rid her of her shyness. She began to caress his arms, his shoulders, his back. Then she moved restlessly against him. She cuddled his hardness between her hips and pressed against him. When she began to move back and forth, deliberately rubbing against him, his composure vanished. He held her backside and made her stop the torment. It was too soon for him to lose control, he reminded himself, but if his innocent wife didn't stop her sweet torture, he might forget his vow to go slowly.
His hands stroked her shoulders, then brushed the sides of her breasts. She shivered with pleasure and reached up to put her arms around his neck. It wasn't long before she was clinging to him. He finally tore his mouth away from her, then began to nibble on the side of her neck. Her head fell to one side to give him better access. His teeth tugged on her earlobe. She let out a ragged moan.
Lord, how she pleased him. He'd never taken this much time to woo a woman before, but then, he'd never taken a virgin to his bed, either. Nicholaa was his wife, and he was determined to make this first union perfect for her. Her own uninhibited response to his touch made him feel as though it was his first time, too. His hands shook, and the ache in his groin had become painful.
"Nicholaa, take your nightgown off."
He had to pull her arms away from his neck before she could obey him. She bowed her head, turned, and slowly walked over to the side of the bed. She was a little surprised her legs would support her. His kisses had left her feeling weak, light-headed. Her heart pounded a thundering beat when she pulled her gown up over her head. She hurriedly tossed the garment on the foot of the bed, lifted the covers, got under them.
Royce stripped off the rest of his garments, his gaze on Nicholaa all the while. She was still nervous. Her eyes were tightly closed, and she wouldn't look at him. His nudity obviously embarrassed her. He smiled at his wife's innocence while he snuffed out the candle flame. A soft glow from the hearth cast a golden light over Nicholaa's face. Nothing else was visible to him, because she'd pulled the covers up to her chin.
He went to her side of the bed and pulled the covers aside. He didn't give her time to shield herself or move away from him. He came down on top of her, bracing his arms on either side of her shoulders so his weight wouldn't crush her.
The contact of his body against hers almost shattered his control. It was the most wonderful feeling he'd ever experienced. She was so soft all over. He suddenly wanted to touch her everywhere. His heart started slamming inside his chest, and he had to take a deep breath to try to regain his discipline.
The initial touch of his body against hers overwhelmed her. He was so hard, so hot, so big all over. He seemed to swallow her up. When he forced her thighs apart with his knee and settled himself between her legs, his hardness pressed against her pelvis, she went completely rigid.
The time had finally come, she realized. She braced herself for the pain she'd heard so much about. She took a ragged breath and tried to prepare herself for his invasion.
Royce kissed her forehead, then looked down at her. He waited for her to open her eyes. Then he grinned at her. "Feels good, doesn't it?"
Lord, he sounded pleased with himself. He looked happy, too. Royce didn't act at all like a man crazed with lust, either. When that realization settled in her mind, she began to relax. "It feels strange to me," she admitted.
She rubbed her toes against his legs. His crisp hair tickled her. The differences between their bodies amazed her. The heat from his chest against her breasts made her nipples ache in an odd, heavy way. His arousal, nestled intimately against the juncture of her thighs, made that heavy, warm feeling permeate her stomach and pelvis, too. It felt good to her, and yet she ached at the same time. The feeling was as confusing to her as her sudden awareness that Royce didn't seem to be at all affected by their closeness.
The fear had left her eyes. Now his wife looked disgruntled. He wondered what thoughts were going through her mind now.
"You do want me, don't you, Royce?"
He almost laughed. She sounded worried. The effort to act as though he had all the time in the world to bed her had been worth the agony, he told himself. If Nicholaa had any idea of the battle he was undergoing to keep her calm, if she could guess what he wanted to do to her, she'd probably swoon.
"Yes, I want you. Can't you feel me against you? I ache with my need for you, Nicholaa."
Her eyes widened. "You ache?"
He nodded. He took her hand and shifted his weight so she could touch his hard arousal. Yet the second her fingers brushed against him, his forehead dropped on top of hers and he let out a ragged groan.
She was both curious and terrified. When he moaned, she pulled her hand away. He put it back. She knew then he liked her touch.
"Royce?"
He gritted his teeth against the fear he heard in her voice, then let out a sigh. "Yes, Nicholaa?"
"We won't fit."
He lifted up to look into her eyes again. She wasn't teasing him. The worry was there in her gaze. His smile was filled with tenderness. "Aye, we will fit," he promised her in a husky whisper.
Her fingers closed around his shaft. He closed his eyes in blissful surrender. The pleasure her touch gave him amazed her. It made her feel bold---powerful, too. She squeezed him. He growled, then pulled her hand away and put it around his neck.
He was taking deep breaths against her neck. His warm breath sent shivers down her legs. "I'm glad you want me," she whispered. "Is there something I should do to help you?"
He kissed the blush on her cheek, then kissed the bridge of her nose. "Just tell me what you like, Nicholaa. I want to please you."
She gently stroked his face. "I want to please you too, husband."
His mouth covered hers then. The kiss was hot, wet, thoroughly arousing. He gave her his tongue; she caught it between her teeth just to tease him. His growl told her he liked that. Then he nibbled on her neck again. His chest hair rubbing against her breasts felt good, and she suddenly wanted more. She deliberately rubbed against him. The warm knot inside her began to expand.
Royce liked her restless motions as much as she did. He couldn't seem to get enough of her soon enough. He kissed her shoulders while his hands caressed her breasts. When his thumbs brushed over her nipples, she arched up against him to let him know how much she liked that.
His actions weren't as deliberate now, for his control was quickly vanishing. He moved down her body until he was able to kiss her breasts. He cupped her left breast in his hand, then took the nipple into his mouth. She whimpered when he began to suckle. She clung to his shoulders and arched up against him again.
He kissed the valley between her breasts. His hand moved down between her thighs. His fingers gently touched the heat there. The soft curls shielding her virginity were damp with passion. Nicholaa tried to push his hand away, but he wouldn't be deterred. "You'll like this," he promised before his mouth claimed hers again for a long, hot kiss.
His thumb rubbed against her most sensitive spot. She arched up against him and moaned into his mouth. White-hot desire claimed her. She kissed him with a passion that left him shaken. Royce slowly forced his fingers inside her slick, tight opening. His own desire was almost completely out of control now. A sheen of perspiration covered his brow. Nicholaa felt hot, wet, wonderful. His mouth clung to hers, and his tongue slid in and out in a mating ritual that his fingers mimicked until she was bucking against his hand and whimpering with pleasure.
He couldn't wait any longer. He moved between her legs, spread her thighs farther apart, and slowly began to penetrate her. Her nails dug into his shoulder blades. She squirmed, trying to get away from him, and inadvertently took a little more of him inside herself. He stopped when he felt the shield of her virginity blocking him. He tried to be gentle as he pushed through the barrier. She wouldn't let him. She tightened against him and tried to push him away.
He soothed her with honeyed words while he stroked her backside. She didn't understand his intent when he lifted her thighs higher up on his hips.
"Don't fight me, Nicholaa," he whispered.
She barely understood what he was telling her. Her mind was a riot of emotions. She was trembling with desire, and yet the ache he was causing made the pleasure and the pain blend into such confusing feelings. She didn't want him to hurt her, but she didn't want him to stop, either.
He didn't give her any warning. With one powerful thrust, he broke through the shield and fully embedded himself inside her.
Nicholaa cried out in pain. She clung to her husband, buried her face against his neck, and demanded that he move away from her.
He wouldn't obey her.
"Royce, you're hurting me."
Bracing his weight on his elbows, he kissed her hard. His hands cupped her face. Nicholaa tried to move away from him again, but his weight made that impossible. Tears streamed down her face. She was throbbing with pain, though in truth the raw feeling had eased.
The look on Royce's face was intense, determined, and yet there was tenderness there as well. "It's going to feel better soon," he whispered. He took a deep, shuddering breath. "Give me just a minute, sweetheart. Then I'll help you like it."
She didn't want his help. She wanted him to get off of her. He tried to kiss her again. She turned her face away from him. Royce followed her. He tugged on her lower lip with his teeth until she opened for him; then he kissed her long and hard.
Royce didn't know how much longer he could maintain his control. The sweet torture of holding still inside her made him throb with pain. He wanted to slam into her tight sheath again and again until he found his release and spilled his seed into her.
He wanted her to want that as much as he did, though. Her pleasure was far more important to him than his own.
The longer he kissed her, the more she relaxed. Royce was deliberately giving her body time to adjust to him, and when she finally began to caress his shoulders, he thought the initial pain might have eased.
His hand moved down between their joined bodies. Nicholaa caught hold of his wrist and tried to stop him. "Let go, Nicholaa," he ordered, his voice a ragged whisper. "You'll like this."
She couldn't stop him. He was right, too, she realized with a sigh. She did like the way he was touching her now. His fingers knew just where to stroke. When his thumb brushed against the sensitive nub hidden between her soft feminine folds, she almost came off the bed. The pleasure was intense, consuming.
He kept up the sweet torment until she felt as though her body had turned to liquid in his arms. Her whole body instinctively tightened around him. He groaned in reaction. He partially withdrew, then sank deep inside her again.
Her control was slipping away. She couldn't seem to catch a thought and hold on to it. The pressure building inside her was unbearable. She wanted Royce to stop, for she was suddenly terrified by the feelings overwhelming her, and yet she didn't want him to stop, and that scared her even more.
"Royce, I can't---"
He silenced her protest with a deep kiss. "It's all right, love. Don't be afraid. I'll keep you safe."
His soothing words pushed her fear and her control away. He would keep her safe. Nicholaa's heart accepted what her mind couldn't sort out. She let the feelings take over. She pulled her knees up so that she could take him deeper inside herself, and then arched against him with bold insistence.
His control snapped. He thrust into her again and again, mindless now to everything but giving her fulfillment and finding his own. The mating ritual took over. The bed rocked with his forceful thrusts. And hers.
She knew she was coming apart in his arms. She didn't care. She called his name as wave after wave of pleasure washed over her. Her climax was so shattering she started to cry.
When he felt her tighten around him and cry out his name, he found his own release. He poured his seed into her with a grunt of surrender.
She thought she might have died. Yet her heart was pounding so furiously that she knew she was still alive. When Royce let out a low groan and collapsed against her, she thought he might be feeling much the same way.
She was blissfully exhausted and thoroughly astonished by what had just happened to her. She closed her eyes and tried to make sense out of the wonderful act.
It took Royce a long while to recover. He didn't want to move. The scent of their lovemaking still hovered in the air around them. He liked that. He liked his scent on her, too.
God, he was content. It seemed so right to hold Nicholaa in his arms. It was as though she'd always belonged to him.
"Royce?"
He grunted his answer.
"You're crushing me."
He reluctantly rolled onto his back. She snuggled up against his side and used his shoulder for her pillow.
Her fingers caressed his chest. "Did I please you, husband?"
His hand covered hers. "Yes, you pleased me."
She waited a long minute to hear more praise, then whispered, "And?"
He yawned. "And what?"
She waited again for him to give her more compliments. He waited for her to explain what she wanted from him.
Neither said a word. It didn't take Nicholaa long at all to start feeling vulnerable. She shivered and rolled away from Royce. She was beginning to feel embarrassed over her wanton behavior. His silence was tarnishing their beautiful union.
Nicholaa pulled the covers up and turned away from him. Tears filled her eyes. She didn't understand why she felt like weeping, but she did. She hoped Royce wouldn't know how foolishly she was behaving. He'd ask for an explanation, and since she didn't know why she was feeling so sad, she certainly wouldn't be able to tell him.
"Nicholaa?"
His voice was gruff with affection when he whispered her name. "Come back here."
"Why?"
"It's where you belong."
That wasn't a compliment by any means, but the joy she felt was there all the same. She rolled back against his side. Royce put his arms around her and pulled her tight against him.
There weren't any more compliments, or fervent declarations of love either. He did kiss her on the top of her head, though.
It was just a simple little kiss.
But it was enough.
Royce had already left the bedroom when Nicholaa finally awakened. Sunlight streamed through the open window. When she realized it was late morning, she was astonished. She'd never slept this long, or this soundly. It was decadent, she supposed with a happy sigh.
She felt wonderful until she got out of bed. The tenderness between her thighs drew her attention then. Her legs were stiff, too. The discomfort didn't blemish the memory of last night, though. Nothing could ever mar the beauty of their lovemaking.
She was officially his wife now, she realized with a smile. She'd done her duty and pleased him, too.
They could have a good life together. Royce was a good man. He was a Norman, of course, but he was also kind, considerate, and understanding.
Nicholaa lingered in the bedroom until she realized it was embarrassment that kept her hidden. She wasn't certain how she should behave when she saw Royce again. Would he want her to kiss him in greeting? She shook her head over that fanciful notion. The man was a warrior. Of course he wouldn't want her to kiss him in daylight. He probably wouldn't want her to show any sign of affection in front of his men. Still, if they chanced to meet each other alone in a corridor, then...
She let out a loud sigh. She was being foolish. She had a household to run, and there were many pressing duties that required her immediate attention. She shouldn't be wasting her time worrying about her husband's wants and her own embarrassment.
Nicholaa dressed in a pale blue gown with a cream-colored underskirt, then hurried downstairs. Odd, but she didn't run into a single servant along the way.
A sizable group of knights had gathered in the great hall. They stood in a cluster around the long table. Only three men were seated. She spotted Royce right away at the head of the table. He was half turned away from her, speaking in a low voice to his men. Lawrence sat on Royce's right, and the young blond man named Ingelram sat on his left.
Everyone seemed tense. Nicholaa assumed an important secret meeting was in progress, and she didn't know if she should interrupt. Then Lawrence happened to look up. He noticed her, smiled, and nudged Royce.
Her husband slowly turned his head. He didn't smile. He simply looked at her for a long minute, then beckoned her forward.
Odd, but she thought she saw a glimpse of relief in his expression, but that didn't make any sense. Why would he be relieved to see her?
She pushed that thought aside while she tried to hide her irritation. Lord, how she hated it when he beckoned to her. Couldn't the man call out a decent greeting? And why couldn't he come to her side once in a while? Nicholaa decided to put those questions to him as soon as they were alone.
Everyone watched her as she walked across the room. She felt awkward and unsure of herself, a feeling that was new to her and one she didn't like at all.
She took a deep breath. "Pray forgive me for interrupting your conference, husband," she called out. "I---"
She came to an abrupt stop, then let out a low gasp of surprise.
Little Ulric was home. The baby was sound asleep, nestled in the crook of Royce's arm. He was wrapped in a sparkling white blanket, and only his face was visible to her.
Nicholaa stared at her beautiful nephew while she struggled to contain the tears that came into her eyes.
She didn't even realize she'd rushed to Royce's side. He grabbed her around the waist to hold her steady. When she finally looked up at him, his breath caught in his throat. The joy in her gaze warmed his heart.
Royce couldn't imagine why her pleasure meant so much to him, but he accepted the truth that her joy had become his joy as well.
Nicholaa felt a tear slip down her cheek. She wiped it away. "Thank you."
He nodded.
"Shall I take Ulric abovestairs so that you may continue with your conference?" she asked.
"The servants are cleaning his chamber," Royce answered. He tightened his hold around her waist when she tried to move back. "We weren't in conference," he added almost as an afterthought.
"But you were whispering..." She suddenly realized why. "You kept your voices low so you wouldn't disturb the baby."
He nodded again. He let go of her, then stood up and placed Ulric in her arms. After motioning to his men to leave the hall, Royce started toward the entrance. Then he suddenly turned around and walked back to her. He grasped her chin, leaned down, and kissed her hard.
She was clutching his tunic with one hand and clutching the sleeping babe with the other when he pulled back. "You are feeling well today?" he asked, his voice a gruff whisper.
It took her a minute to concentrate on what he was asking her. Then she nodded. "You've just given me back my nephew," she answered. "How could I not feel well?"
He shook his head. "That isn't what I meant," he said. "I hurt you last night. It was necessary, Nicholaa, but now I'm... concerned that I might have been too rough with you."
She immediately turned her gaze to his chest. She could feel her cheeks burning. "You were very considerate," she whispered. "And I am only just a little tender."
He started to turn away, obviously appeased by her explanation. She tightened her hold on his tunic and blurted out a question. "Royce? Do you wish me to kiss you each morning?"
He shrugged. "Do you want to?"
"It isn't that I want to," she answered. "It's what we should do---for Ulric."
He raised an eyebrow. Her cheeks were burning now. He felt like laughing. She was such a joy to watch when she was embarrassed. "We should kiss Ulric?" he asked, knowing full well that wasn't what she meant. He just didn't want the ludicrous conversation to end.
"Yes, of course we should kiss Ulric. Babies need affection, Royce. But we should also kiss each other in front of Ulric. Then he'll feel content."
She was making a mess of things, she decided. "A baby should be surrounded by a happy family," she continued. "If he sees us kissing, he'll assume we're happy. Now do you understand?"
He grinned at her. He bent down until his lips were just an inch away from her mouth. "I understand you want me to kiss you every morning."
He didn't give her time to argue with him. He kissed her just to take her mind off the matter, then once again turned to leave the hall.
She hurried after him. "Royce, what about Justin?"
"What about him?" he called over his shoulder.
"Did you bring him home, too?"
"Yes."
She didn't understand his sudden abrupt manner. "I'd like to welcome my brother home," she said. "Could you please ask him to come inside?"
Royce stopped. He turned around and stared at her for a long minute. She noticed how incredulous he looked. What had she said to cause that reaction? she wondered.
"Ask him?" His voice had gone hoarse.
She nodded. "Yes, please."
He let out a loud sigh. "Nicholaa, you do understand Justin's position now, don't you?"
She didn't know what he was talking about. "I understand he's home now," she replied.
"This is no longer his home, wife. It's mine. Your brother is now a soldier in my ranks. I don't ask anything of my men. I give commands, not requests."
He could tell from the look on her face that she still didn't understand.
"All right, then," she said. "Please command my brother to come inside."
"No."
"No?"
She had to chase him to the front doors before she was finally able to stop him again. "I don't understand why you're being so difficult," she announced. "Justin was born and raised here. This is his home. If you don't want him to come inside, then I'll go outside."
He blocked the doorway. "You will stay inside and see to Ulric's comfort, Nicholaa. You may see Justin after he's settled in."
She frowned in confusion, but decided not to argue. "I'll be happy to wait until he's settled in. Do you suppose it will take him an hour or two?"
"Nay, wife, I suppose it will take at least a month, possibly more. Until then you will stay away from him. Do you understand?"
Royce shut the door behind him before she could protest that appalling dictate. Nicholaa couldn't believe he'd really meant it. He couldn't possibly expect her to ignore her brother.
She mulled over that worry until Ulric started squirming in her arms. She looked down to find him smiling up at her. Her mood immediately lightened. She carried the babe upstairs and got him settled in his new home.
Nicholaa spent the remainder of the day with her nephew. She thought Ulric was terribly clever. He could get from one end of the room to another with a speed and agility she found amazing. If he was this quick now, what would he be like when he was walking?
"We'll have to nail our possessions down once he starts running about," Clarise commented. "Could you hold him for a moment, mistress? The baron wishes us to move this chest to his room."
Nicholaa canceled that order. "Leave it here, Clarise. We can use it for Ulric's things."
Before supper that night, Nicholaa had countermanded at least six more of Royce's orders. He'd told Cook to prepare quail for the meal. She changed the order to pheasant.
After Ulric had been put to bed for the night, with Alice acting as his nanny until other arrangements could be made, Nicholaa returned to the great hall. The long table had been moved to the center of the room, near the fireplace. She had it moved back where it belonged. The servants did as she requested, for they were extremely loyal to her.
Nicholaa didn't think Royce had even noticed his orders hadn't been followed. He didn't say a word about the position of the table. He ate a fair portion of the pheasant, too. Supper was really very pleasant. Lawrence and Ingelram joined them at the table, and most of the talk centered on the plans to expand the holding. Royce wasn't specific about his plans, though.
"Do you mean to build a new wall or reinforce the perfectly sound one we now have?" Nicholaa asked.
"Nay, my lady, the wall isn't sound," Ingelram said.
Nicholaa turned her attention to the vassal. "It isn't?"
Ingelram was so bewitched by his beautiful mistress that he couldn't remember what they were talking about. Her pretty blue eyes took his concentration away. Her smile stole his heart. He could barely catch a breath.
The elbow in his side helped him gain control of himself. He turned to catch his baron's scowl. "You may be excused, Ingelram."
The vassal jumped to do his lord's bidding, overturning a stool in his haste. He hurried to right the damage, bowed formally to Royce, and then rushed out of the room.
"What's the matter with him?" Nicholaa asked.
"You," Lawrence announced.
Nicholaa's shoulders straightened. "What do you mean, Lawrence? I barely said a word to Ingelram. I couldn't have upset him. He was acting peculiar all through supper, though, wasn't he, Royce?"
She waited for her husband's nod, then turned back to Lawrence. "Do you see? Royce noticed, too. Why, Ingelram barely ate." She waved her hand toward the bread trencher filled with food. "He must not be feeling well."
Lawrence smiled. Ingelram wasn't ill. The boy hadn't eaten because he'd been too occupied gaping at his beautiful mistress. She was a charmer, all right, the vassal admitted. And when those blue eyes were looking directly at a man, it was possible to forget every serious thought.
Nicholaa wondered about Lawrence's sudden grin. She thought it was a rather odd reaction to her suggestion that Ingelram might be ill. She put the matter aside and looked at Royce again. He was smiling, too. She didn't know why her husband was pleased, but decided to seize upon the opportunity. "Is Justin feeling well?"
Royce shrugged. Then he changed the topic. "Lawrence, as soon as you're finished, call the servants together."
"Why do you want to call the servants together?" Nicholaa asked.
"I want to speak to them."
She ignored his frown. "Most of the servants have already taken to their beds, husband. They get up before dawn each day."
Royce ignored her. "Lawrence?"
"Aye, my lord," the vassal said. "I'll see to it at once."
Nicholaa started to protest again. Royce put his hand over hers and squeezed. As soon as Lawrence left the hall, Royce turned back to her. "Do not question my orders again, Nicholaa."
"I wasn't questioning," she argued. She tried to pull her hand away. He wouldn't let her. "I was just being curious. Please tell me why you want to speak to the servants at this late hour."
"Very well," he said. "I gave specific instructions this morning, and they were not followed. Those who defied me will be removed from the holding."
She was appalled. "Removed? But where would they go? They belong here. Surely you cannot mean to force them out."
"I don't give a damn where they go," he countered in a hard voice.
"These... instructions were of extreme importance?"
"No."
"Then---"
"Each and every order must be followed," he said. "The importance isn't determined by the soldiers or servants."
Nicholaa was so infuriated by his unbending position that she wanted to scream. She was just as worried about her staff, though, and knew that shouting at her arrogant husband wouldn't help their cause. "You will not give them a second chance? One sin and they are condemned?" she asked.
"In battle a knight is never given a second chance."
"This isn't a battle."
Aye, it was a battle, he thought to himself. And Nicholaa was his opponent. He knew she was the one who had changed his orders. Now he wanted her to admit it. Then he would calmly explain the importance of organization, the necessity of a hierarchy, and where her place was in his household.
He almost smiled. His wife was so outraged she could barely sit still. The training had begun.
His voice was mild when he said, "Do not raise your voice to me, wife."
Nicholaa stared at her husband a long minute. He wasn't bluffing, she finally decided. She took a deep breath. She wasn't about to let her servants take the blame for her error in judgment. "I have a request, husband."
"What is it?"
"I would like to speak to the servants first, if you will allow my interference."
She was thankful when he simply nodded, a warm glint in his eyes, but she didn't understand the reason for his reaction.
The servants came hurrying into the great hall, some dressed in their nightclothes. Nicholaa stood up and walked around the table, her hands folded in front of her, her expression serene.
Alice was the last to join the group. Nicholaa nodded to her. "My husband has graciously allowed me to speak to you first," she began. She was pleased her voice didn't crack; her heart was about to. "Today your lord gave some of you specific orders."
Several servants nodded. Nicholaa smiled. "I changed those orders. That was thoughtless of me," she added. "And I apologize both to my husband and to you for creating confusion."
As she came to the difficult part, she took another deep breath. "In future, when my husband gives an order, you will obey it. If I should inadvertently contradict that command, please remind me that you must follow your lord's order. He is master of this holding now, and you must be loyal to him above all others."
Clarise took a step forward. "Above even you, milady?" she asked with a frown.
Nicholaa nodded. "Yes, above even me. Are there any other questions?"
"What if you be the one to give the order first and the baron changes it?" Alice called out.
"You will follow my husband's command, Alice."
The servants nodded. Nicholaa held on to her smile. "My husband would like to speak to you now."
She didn't turn to Royce but slowly walked out of the hall, hoping he wouldn't call her back. She knew she wouldn't be able to maintain her smile when she was feeling so bloody furious inside.
Nicholaa muttered to herself all the way up the stairs. Her husband was a cad. First he'd taken away her holding, and now he was determined to take away her servants' loyalty, too. It was all so unfair and damn lopsided, too. Why did she always have to be the one to give in? She supposed it was because the Normans had won the war. Still, she was Royce's wife now, and he should consider her opinions.
She passed her old chamber and decided to look in on Ulric. Surely the sight of the precious baby would remind her why she was trying to get along with her obstinate husband.
She tried to be as quiet as possible when she went inside so she wouldn't disturb the baby. Nicholaa was just closing the door behind her when she thought she noticed a movement in the shadows on her left. She instinctively turned. Then she tried to scream. A hand clamped down hard over her mouth to cut off the sound. Nicholaa was pulled up against what felt very like a stone wall.
She fought like a wild woman. She bit her captor's hand while she clawed at his arm with her nails.
"Damn it, Nicholaa. Stop it. It's me, Thurston."
She went limp against him. Her brother removed his hand and slowly turned her around to face him.
She couldn't believe her brother was standing there in front of her. She was overwhelmed. And terrified. "Are you out of your mind, Thurston?" she whispered. "Why would you take such a risk? How did you get inside? Dear God, if they find you here..."
Thurston put his arms around her and hugged her tight. "I came up through one of the secret passages. I had to see you, Nicholaa. I needed to make certain you were all right. God, I almost killed you, didn't I? When I saw the golden hair, I knew it was you my arrow had hit."
The anguish in his voice tore at her heart. "It was only a scratch," she lied.
"The Norman was in my sights, but at the last second you threw yourself in front of him. Why? Were you trying to protect him? It looked that way to me, but that explanation doesn't make any sense. Did you know I was there?"
"I saw you, Thurston. I guessed Royce was your target."
"Royce? Is that the name of your captor?"
"He isn't my captor," she whispered. "He's my husband."
Thurston didn't take that news well. He squeezed her arms with such force she knew she would have bruises, and the look in his blue eyes indicated his fury. Nicholaa pried his hands away while she tried to think of a way to make him understand. "There is much to talk about," she blurted out. "Don't judge me until you know all the facts."
She took her brother's hand and led him across the chamber and away from the sleeping baby.
Moonlight filtered through the window. Nicholaa lit a candle and looked up at her brother.
Thurston was every bit as big as Royce. Her brother had blond hair and an unscarred complexion. He was a handsome man, even when he was scowling, but he looked tired.
"You can't come back here," Nicholaa said. "Royce has found most of the passages. It's only a matter of time before he discovers the one that leads to this room, too. I don't want anything to happen to you."
"Nicholaa, were you forced to marry this Norman?"
There wasn't time to explain everything that had happened. Thurston would never understand, anyway. She took a deep breath. "No."
He didn't want to believe her. "You weren't forced?"
"No," she said again. "I chose him. If anyone was forced into this marriage, it was Royce, not me."
Thurston leaned against the window ledge. A clap of thunder sounded in the distance. Nicholaa jumped.
Her brother folded his arms across his chest and stared at her. "Why would you do such a thing?"
She knew the full truth would only fuel his anger. "If the circumstances were different, and if you could meet my husband, you'd know why I chose him. Royce is a good man, Thurston. He's been very kind to me."
"He's a Norman."
He spit that reminder out like a blasphemy. The fury in his voice made her stomach lurch. It made her angry, too. "The war's over, Thurston. If you don't kneel before William and give your pledge of loyalty, you'll be killed. I beg you, please accept this. I don't want you to die."
He shook his head. "The war isn't over," he said. "The resistance is growing stronger with each passing day. It's only a matter of time before we unseat the bastard Norman king."
"You cannot believe this foolishness," she cried out. Thurston let out a weary sigh. "You've been isolated here, Nicholaa. You can't understand. We have to leave now. My men are waiting outside the walls. Wrap Ulric in the blankets. Hurry, before the storm breaks."
Nicholaa was too stunned to react at first. Thurston towered over her. She took a step back, then shook her head. "I can't go with you. Royce is my husband now. I have to stay here."
"You can't mean to stay with him." The disgust in her brother's voice made her stomach ache. She bowed her head. "I want to stay here." A long moment passed in silence. Thurston's voice shook when he spoke again. "God have mercy on your soul, Nicholaa. You love him, don't you?" It wasn't until that very moment, when she was actually confronted with the truth, that she acknowledged it in her mind. "Yes, I love him."
Sickened by her confession, her brother lashed out, slapping her hard across the face. The blow almost toppled her over. Nicholaa staggered, then quickly recovered. Her face burned with pain, but she didn't cry out. She simply stared up at her brother and waited to see what he would do next.
He had never before raised his hand against her. Thurston had always had a terrible temper, but he'd been reasonable, too. It was the war, she told herself, that had turned him into a stranger.
"You've become a traitor," he said.
Those words hurt more than the blow. Nicholaa's eyes filled with tears. She desperately tried to think of a way to get through to him. "I love you, Thurston," she said. "And I'm afraid for you. Your hate is eating your heart. Think of your son. Ulric needs you. Forget this sinful pride and consider his future."
He shook his head. "My son has no future with the Normans," he muttered. "Where is Justin? Is he still at the abbey?"
The change in topics infuriated her. Did his son mean so little to him that he could so easily dismiss his duty to Ulric?
"Answer me, Nicholaa," he ordered. "Where is Justin?"
"He's here."
Nicholaa reached out to touch Thurston's arm. He pushed her hand away. "Please don't be like this," she whispered. "Justin wanted to die, Thurston, but Royce wouldn't let him."
Her brother showed no reaction to her fervent words. "Where exactly is he?"
"He's quartered with the other soldiers."
"God, he must hate that humiliation."
"Royce promised to help him."
Thurston shook his head. "Give Justin a message for me. Tell him I haven't forgotten him. I'll be back... soon."
"No!"
She didn't realize she'd screamed that denial. The sound bounced off the walls. Ulric flinched and started whimpering. Nicholaa rushed over to the crib and gently patted the baby's back. Ulric put his thumb in his mouth and closed his eyes.
"Get away from him," Thurston ordered. "I don't want you to touch my son."
His repulsion made her feel like a leper. She straightened away from the crib and turned to look at her brother.
Ulric might have gone back to sleep if Royce hadn't thrown the door open then. The hinges held, though just barely, and the door bounced against the wall twice before settling.
Nicholaa jumped. Ulric bellowed.
Royce filled the doorway. His legs were braced apart and his hands were fisted at his sides. It was a fighting stance, frightening, too, but it was the look in his eyes that terrified her.
Nicholaa was safe. Royce had just started up the stairs when he'd heard her scream. He'd started running then. His heart felt as though it had stopped. He pictured every foul possibility in his mind, and by the time he reached Ulric's chamber terror consumed him.
She was all right. He stared at his wife until that fact had registered.
Nicholaa deliberately kept the left side of her face hidden from her husband. She could tell from the cold look in his eyes that he was already furious. If he knew her brother had struck her, he might forget he was such a patient man and become as unreasonable as Thurston.
She was determined to prevent a disaster, but she didn't know whom to placate first. The baby was still fretting, even though a heavy silence had descended on the room. Ulric wasn't in jeopardy, however. He was safe. Royce might not be. Thurston suddenly took a step forward.
She stood in the center of the chamber between the two adversaries. Thurston and Royce were both staring at her now. She turned to look at one, then the other.
And then she ran across the room---to her husband.
She threw herself into his arms. "Please be patient," she whispered. "Please."
The distress in her voice cut through his rage. He gave her a quick squeeze, then shoved her behind his back and focused his full attention on his enemy.
Nicholaa's brother took another step toward him.
Royce leaned against the door frame. He folded his arms across his chest and stared at the Saxon. His casual attitude confused Thurston.
"I expected you sooner, Thurston."
Royce made that comment in such a mild tone of voice that Nicholaa's brother was pushed a little more off center. He quickly recovered. "Did Nicholaa tell you about the secret passageways?"
Royce shook his head. He could feel his wife twisting the back of his tunic. He knew she was terrified, and he decided then not to prolong her pain. "Make up your mind, Thurston," he ordered. His voice had gone hard.
Nicholaa tried to move to her husband's side. He shoved her back behind him. His gaze never left Thurston's face. "The choice is yours," he said. "Either hand over your sword and give me your oath of fealty, or..."
"Or what?" Thurston demanded. "Or die, Norman? I'd kill you first."
"No!" Nicholaa shouted. She felt someone's hands on her shoulders, turned, and saw Lawrence standing behind her.
"Baron?" Lawrence said.
Royce didn't take his attention away from Thurston. "Take my wife to our chamber, Lawrence. Stay there with her."
The vassal had to pull Nicholaa's hands away from the back of Royce's tunic. "No!" she cried out again. "Royce, the baby... Please let me take Ulric."
Now it was Thurston who shouted his denial. "You will leave my son where he is, Nicholaa. You've chosen your path."
She let go of Royce then. Her shoulders were rigid when she backed out of the chamber.
Royce took a step forward. Lawrence reached around Nicholaa and pulled the door closed.
Thurston took another step toward Royce. "You should have allowed your soldiers inside this room."
"Why?"
Thurston smiled. "To protect you. I've got you all to myself now, you bastard. I'm going to kill you."
Royce shook his head. "No, you're not going to kill me, Thurston. God's truth, I would like you to try." He paused to let out a sigh. "Then I could kill you. I would derive a great deal of satisfaction from that, but my wife would be upset."
"She betrayed her own family."
Royce raised an eyebrow. The effort of controlling his anger was becoming more difficult with each passing minute. "When did Nicholaa become a traitor?" he asked in a mild, thoroughly controlled voice. "Was it before or after you abandoned her?"
"Abandoned her? You don't know what you're talking about."
"Don't I? You left her to survive on her own," Royce countered. "Then you sent your son to her to add to her burden. She went to great lengths to keep Ulric safe, but you don't give a damn about any sacrifices she made, do you? Yes, you did abandon her."
"I was needed in the north," Thurston muttered.
"Ah, yes, the north," Royce drawled out. "Isn't that where you left your brother to die?"
Thurston's face turned blotchy red. His hatred for the Norman consumed him. There wasn't any room in his mind for reason. "I was told Justin was dead."
Something in his voice told Royce he wasn't telling the full truth. "No," he said. "You were told he was injured. When you heard what the injury was, you left him to die. That's what really happened, isn't it, Thurston? Justin was useless to you with only one hand to use in defense of your cause."
Thurston was too shaken by the information Royce had gathered to mask his reaction. The Norman was trying to make him feel responsible for his brother's plight. "I continued to fight because I wanted to avenge my brother."
Royce was sickened. He'd been able to put together only a few of the pieces of the puzzle. He had simply guessed about Justin being left for dead. Now Thurston's defense of his vile behavior told him he'd been right. The bastard really had left his brother to die.
"Justin knew, didn't he?" Royce asked.
Thurston shrugged. "He understood. Has my brother also turned traitor?" he asked. "Did he tell you what happened? Or did Nicholaa get to him? In his weakened condition, did she somehow convince him he'd be better off with the Normans?"
Royce didn't respond to the questions. "Tell me this," he ordered. "Do you condemn Nicholaa because she married me or because she's still alive?"
"Her own admission damned her."
"What admission?"
"She told me she chose you," Thurston muttered. "She wasn't coerced. She's letting you touch her, isn't she? God, my own sister in bed with a Norman. I wish now my arrow had pierced her heart."
Royce's control snapped. Thurston didn't have time to prepare. Royce moved too quickly. His fist slammed into the Saxon's face before Thurston could protect himself. The blow sent him reeling backwards into the fireplace. The mantel was torn free from the stone and fell to the floor as Thurston staggered to recover.
Royce had broken his nose. He wished it had been his neck. The baby's shrill screams helped Royce regain control of his temper. He glanced at the crib to make certain Ulric was still safe, then kicked open the panel built into the wooden wall.
"I allowed you entrance, Thurston, because I wanted to talk to you. I want the name of the man who threatened my wife when she was in London. You're going to tell me who it was before you leave here."
Thurston shook his head. "I don't know what the hell you're talking about," he muttered. He wiped the blood away from his mouth with the back of his hand. "We don't have anyone in London . . yet," he added.
"Soon, however, we'll take back what belongs to us. There won't be a Norman left---"
"Spare me your political speeches," Royce interjected. "I want the truth. Give me the Saxon's name, Thurston, or I'll beat it out of you."
Ulric's screams finally penetrated Thurston's rage. He walked over to the crib and picked up his son. He gently patted Ulric's back in a bid to calm him.
"I'm taking my son with me."
"No, you're not," Royce replied. "You may not give a damn about the baby's welfare, but Nicholaa and I do. It's cold and raining outside. You aren't taking Ulric out into such conditions. I'll strike a bargain with you," he added before Thurston could protest. "When you've found a safe place for your son, you can send someone to get him."
"You'll let him go?"
Royce nodded. "I give you my word," he said. "And now I want your word that you don't know who threatened my wife."
"Tell me what happened," Thurston asked.
Royce explained about the woman who'd given Nicholaa the dagger with instructions to kill him. He could tell from Thurston's expression that he really didn't know about the incident.
"The Saxon barons who've joined William certainly can't be trusted," Thurston said. "We never would have given any of those men such an assignment. Look to your own people for the man," he added. "Saxons don't send women to do their work."
Royce believed him. He watched as Thurston put Ulric back in his crib. The Saxon was his enemy, but he was also Nicholaa's brother. Royce held his patience while father said good-bye to son.
Thurston took a deep breath. Reason nagged him to admit that the Norman was right. Yet he found it galling to leave his son in the enemy's nest. He was going to have to trust the Norman to keep his word. That was even more galling.
"Ulric is going to my wife's family. When they arrive, you will give Ulric to them."
It was an order, not a request. Royce nodded. Then he qualified his decision. "Your wife's family can come. If I'm convinced Ulric will be safe with them, I'll let him go. Leave now, Thurston. You've used up all the time I'm going to give you."
Thurston looked down at his son, then walked over to the opening to the hidden staircase.
"Get rid of the hate, Thurston. There's still time. It doesn't have to destroy you."
If Nicholaa's brother heard the warning, he didn't acknowledge it. He went down the steps without a backward glance.
Royce shut the panel, then went over to the crib. Ulric was once again in a full rage. Royce lifted the baby and put him up against his shoulder the way he'd seen Nicholaa do. He soothed the infant with whispered nonsense words he'd heard his wife say, and it didn't take him any time at all to calm the tantrum.
Ingelram was waiting in the hallway. Royce ordered him to seal both the upper and the lower entrances to the passageway.
He noticed Alice standing by the steps and motioned her forward. "The baby's fine," he said when he saw her frown. "He wasn't harmed."
Ulric was wide awake now. He leaned away from Royce's shoulder and looked around him. Alice took the baby into her arms. "You soothed this little innocent," she said. "Now you'd best go soothe the other one." Alice blushed after making that suggestion. "Begging your pardon, milord, for my boldness in speaking out like that, but I'm concerned about my Nicholaa. She must surely be worn through with worry."
Royce nodded. "Aye, Alice, she surely must," he agreed. He patted Ulric's head, then turned and walked down the hallway. God's truth, he dreaded the task ahead of him, for he felt completely inadequate. He didn't have the faintest idea how to soothe Nicholaa.
She was standing by the window, looking out into the night when Royce walked into the chamber. She turned as soon as the door squeaked open. The look on her face made his heart ache. She was terrified. Royce let out a weary sigh. He assumed she thought he'd already killed her brother and was waiting for his confirmation.
Lawrence stood by the hearth. He looked relieved to see his lord. "Lady Nicholaa's been worried," he called out, stating the obvious.
Royce continued to stare at his wife. "She needn't have worried. Her brother's still alive."
Lawrence held his smile. He passed Royce on his way out of the room. "She wasn't worried about Thurston, Baron. She was worried about you."
The vassal pulled the door closed after making that telling statement.
"I wasn't worried about you," Nicholaa said.
"Lawrence just said you were."
"He lied."
"He never lies."
Tears blurred her vision. "I should hate you, Royce. Yes, I should. Since the moment we met, the most horrible things have happened to me. Just look at me." She raised her hands. "I've got scars on both hands and another ugly one on my shoulder. It's your fault."
Nicholaa untied her belt and threw it on the floor. She kicked her shoes off next. "It's because you're a Norman. That's why everything's your fault."
She pulled the bliaut over her head, tossed it aside, then grasped the underskirt and tugged it off. "Well?" she demanded. "Have you nothing to say in your defense?"
She didn't give him time to reply. "I wouldn't be riddled with scars if it hadn't been for you."
"I thought you were just prone to accidents."
He didn't think she heard that remark. She was too busy reciting a litany of his flaws. He didn't smile, even when she blamed the thunderstorm on him. Royce let her rant and rave because he understood her desperate need to vent her anger and her fear. Aye, she was afraid to ask him about Thurston and Ulric.
Nicholaa had worn herself out by the time she'd stripped down to her chemise. She stood facing him, head bowed and toes curled into the rushes. She looked so vulnerable.
"Are you ready to listen to me?"
She didn't answer him. "Nicholaa, come here."
"No." She walked across the room to stand in front of him. "I'm never going to obey any of your commands again, Royce."
He didn't think now would be a good time to point out that she'd already done just that. He put his arms around her and tried to pull her up against him.
She slapped his hands away. "I'm never going to let you touch me again, either."
Royce wouldn't be denied. He forced her into his arms and hugged her tight. She was ready to be comforted. She collapsed against him, wrapped her arms around his waist, and wept without restraint. She was as loud, as undisciplined as little Ulric. Royce didn't try to calm her. He rested his chin on the top of her head and simply waited for her to finish.
The front of his tunic was soaked through by the time she was done. Nicholaa continued to hiccup against his chest for several more minutes. She was appalled by her conduct, but she hadn't been able to stop herself. She'd been so overwhelmed with relief when Royce walked into the room and she'd known for certain he was all right that she hadn't been able to control her emotions.
She was shivering with exhaustion and cold now. Royce felt her tremble and tightened his hold. "You should get under the covers before you freeze," he told her in a gruff whisper.
She ignored that suggestion. Nicholaa didn't understand why, but she needed him to hold her a little while longer. "You must think I'm a baby," she said. "I'm acting just like Ulric."
"You might act like him, but you smell much better."
Nicholaa heard the amusement in his voice and realized he was teasing her. It was an odd reaction to the tragic events that had taken place. "Royce?"
"Yes?"
A long minute passed before she could get her question out. "Am I a traitor?"
"No."
The force in his denial made her jump. "Don't be angry with me. There's been too much anger tonight."
He held her chin and forced her to look up at him. "I'm not angry with you. The question made me angry, that's all. Thurston called you a traitor, didn't he?"
Tears filled her eyes again. He was amazed she had any left. "God, Nicholaa, don't start crying again. It's over now. Thurston's safe."
"I knew he'd be safe," she cried out. "I was worried about you."
Her vehemence surprised him. He didn't know if he should be insulted or not. "Have you so little faith in my ability?"
She jabbed his chest with her fingers. "Your ability has nothing to do with this."
"It doesn't?"
He looked thoroughly confused. "No, of course not."
"Nicholaa, make sense."
"Thurston's my brother."
"I'm aware of that."
"I know him better than you do."
"Yes."
"He has many fine qualities."
"Don't you dare defend him to me."
She tried to turn away from him. Royce wouldn't let her. He forced her to look up at him again, then trailed the backs of his fingers down her cheek. "He did this, didn't he?" he asked with a frown as fierce as the welt on her face. "If you tell me he didn't mean to strike you, I'll completely lose my patience."
"How did you know Thurston struck me? Did he tell you?"
"You've got a mark the size of a man's fist on your face, wife. That's how I know."
The fury in his voice made her shiver. "You won't lose your patience," she said. "And that's what I'm trying to explain to you. Thurston has a terrible temper. From the time he was a little boy, he would react before he would think. Papa was often in despair. He couldn't seem to teach Thurston restraint. My brother doesn't fight with honor, Royce. You do."
His smile was filled with tenderness. "And how do you know how I fight?"
"I just know," she answered. "You have strong values. You've learned to control your temper. You're extremely patient, too. On the journey to London, when I kept trying to get away from you and you kept catching me, you never once lost your temper."
Nicholaa was suddenly weary. She leaned against Royce again. "The war changed Thurston. He's full of hate now. He wouldn't have fought fairly."
"And you believe I would?"
"Of course."
He kissed the top of her head, then lifted her into his arms and carried her to the bed. He was smiling inside. He didn't think she realized how she'd just complimented him. His wife didn't understand what was fair and what wasn't. She obviously thought there were specific rules of conduct.
She had it all wrong, aye, but he wasn't going to explain that in a fight there weren't any rules. He was too pleased she'd been concerned about him.
He set her on her feet next to the bed, then reached for the ribbon that held her chemise in place. "What are you doing?" she asked.
"Taking this off," he answered.
She tried to push his hands away. The straps of the undergarment slipped down her arms. "I want it on."
"I don't."
The chemise fell to the floor. Nicholaa was too embarrassed by her nakedness to argue. She jerked the covers back and got into bed. Royce got only a glimpse of a blush before she cocooned herself under the quilts.
Her shyness amused him. Royce stripped out of his clothes, blew the candle out, and got into bed. He was pleased he didn't have to force her into his arms. The cold had done that for him. Nicholaa rolled up against his side to borrow some of his heat. He turned onto his side, wrapped his arms around her, trapped her legs between his own, and tucked her head under his chin. In minutes her shivers were gone.
He liked holding her in his arms. Her scent was light and appealing enough to drive a man to distraction. He wanted her. He let out a long sigh over that realization. It was too soon for her. He'd hurt her last night, and she needed time for the tenderness to ease. She'd been through purgatory tonight, too, and she needed time to recover from that upset as well. No, he shouldn't touch her.
His body wasn't paying any attention to the decisions his mind was making. He was already hard, hurting with his need to be inside her.
Hell, he had no more discipline than a goat when he was near her. Royce didn't understand his lack of control. She was just his wife. Nothing more. It was actually a little astonishing that she had this strong an effect on him.
"What are you going to do with Thurston?" Nicholaa murmured into the darkness. Her whole body tensed in anticipation of his answer.
"I'm not going to do anything with him."
She didn't understand. "Did you lock him up? You're taking him to London, aren't you?"
She was getting all worked up again. Royce squeezed her. "I let him leave, Nicholaa."
She was stunned by that news. She didn't say anything for a long minute. Then she asked, "Will you get into trouble because you let him go?"
Her question was so ridiculous that he smiled. "No," he answered dryly.
"I heard a commotion," she said. "It sounded as though the walls had caved in."
Nicholaa put her hand on his chest while she waited for him to explain. Her skin was so incredibly warm. Her fingers caressed him absentmindedly. He stopped her by putting his hand on hers. Another minute or so passed before she finally realized he wasn't going to say anything more. She guessed she'd have to prod him. "Was there a fight?"
"No."
"Then what was that noise I heard?"
He let out a long sigh. She wasn't going to give up. "The mantel fell to the floor." He sounded half asleep.
She leaned up to look at him and saw that his eyes were closed. "It just fell?"
"Go to sleep, Nicholaa. It's late."
"Why did you let Thurston leave?"
"You know why."
"You let him leave because of me, didn't you?"
He didn't answer her.
She kissed his chin. "Thank you."
He opened his eyes and frowned at her. "You have nothing to thank me for," he said in a hard, thoroughly unlikable voice. "I wanted to talk to Thurston, and that's what I did. I gave him an opportunity to surrender. He chose not to. You do understand what that means, don't you?"
Nicholaa understood exactly what he meant, but she didn't want to talk about it. She started to turn away, but Royce grabbed the back of her neck. "I will not allow you to deceive yourself. Thurston is going to resist until he dies. If he comes back here, I'll have to kill him."
"But what about Ulric?" she cried out. "Thurston will have to come back to see his son. You cannot mean to---"
Royce forced her head down by applying gentle pressure on the back of her neck. At the same time, he sealed her protest with a long kiss. He thought only to turn her attention, but her lips went all soft and willing on him and she tasted so incredibly good that he couldn't seem to stop. His mouth was hot, open, demanding. His tongue sank deep inside. She liked that. Her sexy little moan told him so. God, he wanted her. His tongue slid in and out again and again in an erotic rhythm that made him ache for more. He couldn't get close enough to her. His one hand held the nape of her neck while his other hand gripped her backside, and he pushed up against her heat with his arousal.
She was out of breath when he finally released her. He couldn't seem to catch his breath, either. He stared at her mouth. Her lips were red, swollen, enticing. He rubbed his thumb across her lower lip. He could feel his heart slamming inside his chest. He took several deep breaths to calm his thoughts.
"Now you will listen to me," he instructed in a husky voice. "Thurston won't come back. Your brother is sending someone from his wife's family to get Ulric. If these guardians prove acceptable to me, I'll let the baby go."
"No." She tried to push herself away from him.
"Yes." He threw one leg over both of hers, trapping her. "Thurston is Ulric's father. Because he is a member of your family, I've agreed. You will not argue with me, Nicholaa."
"Just as I can't argue with you about Justin? You won't let me see my younger brother, and you won't even give me a good reason why I can't. You ask too much from me, Royce."
"I ask only what I know you can give," he countered. He kissed her brow. "My decision regarding Justin wasn't meant to hurt you."
"You are hurting me, though."
"I see. And do you believe I've deliberately kept you away from Justin just to hurt you?"
"No," she admitted with a sigh. "You would not be so petty."
"Have you considered the possibility that my decision had nothing to do with you at all? That perhaps I was thinking about Justin's welfare when I decided to keep you away from him."
"Justin loves me. He needs me now."
"You're the last person he needs now, wife."
The anger in his voice confused her. "I would never hurt Justin."
"Aye, you would," he answered. He shook his head in aggravation. "I specifically remember explaining that I would take on the responsibility of handling Justin when I went to the abbey to get you, Nicholaa. Didn't you listen to a word I said?" he asked her.
"I don't remember," she muttered. "I was upset at the time. I cannot believe you think I'd deliberately hurt my own brother. I've always looked out for Justin. He's the baby in the family, after all, and now that I'm---"
"Nicholaa, cease this tirade. Justin would mistake your concern for pity. Your compassion would humiliate him. He has enough to worry about now. I can't let you add to his burden."
"What does he have to worry about?"
"Me."
Odd, but that arrogant statement soothed her. In her heart, she knew Royce was right about her brother, too. Justin was a proud man. It would be a humiliation for him to know she was watching him struggle. She wouldn't be able to hide her worry, either. He'd see her concern and mistake it for pity. Her husband was right about Thurston, too. By promising to allow Ulric to leave the household, he'd robbed her brother of a true reason for returning. She said a prayer that Thurston would realize his good fortune. She knew Royce wouldn't give him a second chance to walk away.
Nicholaa put her head on Royce's shoulder and closed her eyes. She felt inadequate now. She wasn't one to wallow in self-pity, but everything had turned upside down since the Normans started running things.
Royce nudged her face up and kissed her forehead, then the bridge of her nose. "I want you, Nicholaa," he whispered with a weary sigh. He suddenly rolled over, cushioning her in his arms. She was flat on her back now with her husband covering her from head to foot. "Go to sleep before I forget my good intentions." She didn't want to sleep. She wanted, nay, she needed him to touch her. And while he was making love to her, she would pretend that he truly did love her. She didn't even care that she would be lying to herself. The encounter with Thurston had been so painful, so heartbreaking. Royce could make her forget her torment, if only for a little while.
"You said you wanted me," she whispered in a voice filled with embarrassment. "Don't change your mind, Royce. I want you, too."
He propped himself up on his elbows and smiled down at her. Her heart took notice of his devilish grin and started in pounding a wild beat. "How can you act so shy now, when you've been draped over me the last half hour without---"
"Our discussion made me forget I---I wasn't wearing anything," she stammered. "I've remembered now. Kiss me, please. You'll make me forget to be shy. You did last night."
He shook his head. The memory of their lovemaking last night made him ache to take her again. "I'd hurt you."
"One kiss? Surely that wouldn't hurt me."
"I won't stop, Nicholaa. My discipline will vanish."
Her smile captivated him. "I like it when your discipline vanishes."
She clasped his face in her hands and pulled him down to her. She kissed him, long and thoroughly. She didn't get a bit of cooperation from him, though, and finally had to bite his lower lip to get his attention. It was just a gentle nip, but it worked. Royce growled low in his throat before his mouth settled on hers possessively. The kiss quickly took over all other considerations. It was blatantly carnal. She was being ravished. It was a glorious feeling. Royce made her burn for more and more of his touch. She clung to him and let her love and her passion for this man take over her mind and her soul.
Her response to him shattered his control. He tried to slow down, to give her time to want him as much as he wanted her, but he'd been hard for so long that it proved an impossible task.
He dragged his mouth away from hers, moved lower to kiss the valley between her breasts. He kissed the flat of her stomach, then moved lower still. She didn't have time to protest until he was kissing the very heat of her. Her gasp of astonishment turned into a moan of raw pleasure.
It was decadent, this intimacy he forced on her. And wonderful. She cried out for more.
She tasted so good to him. His tongue stroked the sensitive nub hidden within the slick folds of flesh, then pressed high inside her. She felt as if she'd been hit by hot lightning. She arched up against him, demanding more of this sweet torture. "Royce, please," she whimpered, begging him to give her the ecstasy she knew was there, just beyond her reach.
He couldn't wait any longer. He knelt between her thighs, lifted her hips, and thrust deep into her. He stopped when he was fully embedded inside her. His voice was gritty with passion. "Am I hurting you? Tell me if I'm hurting you."
She wasn't capable of telling him anything. She arched up against him instead, digging her nails into his shoulders. The pressure building inside her was excruciating.
His hand moved down between their joined bodies. He stroked her with his fingers until the fire burning inside her was completely out of control. Her moans of pleasure told him she liked that. His mouth covered hers again. And then he began to move. He wasn't at all gentle. He withdrew and then sank deep into her again. She was so hot, so wet, so wonderfully tight. His thrust became more powerful, more consuming. And when he finally felt her tighten around him and he knew she was about to find her own release, he poured his seed into her with a low groan of surrender.
She found her fulfillment at the very same moment. The splendor overwhelmed her. She held on to her husband and let the waves of ecstasy wash over her. She wasn't afraid, even when she felt as though her mind had become separated from her body. She welcomed the glorious feeling, for she knew that Royce would keep her safe.
When the last tremor faded, she fell back against the blankets. She thought she'd died.
He thought he'd killed her. He collapsed on top of her with a grant of satisfaction. His sweet wife had taken all his strength. She'd taken away his willpower, too, for he couldn't seem to make himself move away from her.
It took him several minutes to recover. Then he started worrying. "Nicholaa, are you all right?"
The concern in his voice warmed her heart. "Yes."
He could hear the blush in her voice. God help him, he started laughing. The woman had been wild just a few minutes before, yet now was obviously embarrassed.
"Why are you amused?" she asked shyly. "Are you laughing at me?"
"You please me," he told her. "That's why I'm laughing."
"Royce?"
"Yes?"
"It isn't going to be all right, is it?"
The fear in her voice sobered him. "I'll take care of you, Nicholaa," he said, giving her a roundabout answer.
"Ulric has to leave."
"Yes."
"Do you believe Thurston won't come back once his son is gone?"
"It's my hope," he admitted.
"He'll come for Justin."
His sigh was long. He'd hoped she wouldn't figure that out so soon. "Justin won't leave with Thurston. Go to sleep, Nicholaa. It's my duty to protect this family."
Yes, it was his duty, and he wouldn't turn his back on what he felt was right. But that duty had been thrust upon him when she chose him for her husband.
She wished with all her heart it wasn't just duty that drove him. Nicholaa closed her eyes and tried not to weep. She had Royce's protection, aye.
But she wanted his love.
Royce was standing near the buttery when Nicholaa walked into the great hall with little Ulric settled on her hip. An older soldier Nicholaa didn't recognize stood next to her husband, speaking in a low voice. Both men were staring at the floor where the table had stood before Royce ordered it moved to the center of the room.
She decided to interrupt. She walked over to greet her husband. Ulric was babbling out his new sounds. When Royce turned to her, the baby reached out for him.
He took the baby, settled him up against his shoulder, then looked at his wife. She folded her hands in front of her and smiled at him.
"Good morning, husband." She started to stretch up and kiss him, then thought better of it. There was a stranger with her husband. She didn't want to embarrass him.
Royce didn't seem to mind an audience, though. He grasped her chin, tilted her face up, and brushed his mouth over hers. Then he pulled her up against his side and turned back to the soldier.
"You were explaining, Thomas?" he prodded.
"I was explaining that it's a miracle, my lord, that the floor hasn't caved in yet. You can see how rotten the wood is here," he added with a sweep of his hand.
Royce nodded. "Finish your inspection," he ordered. "You will join us for dinner tonight. I'll hear your evaluation then."
The dark-haired soldier bowed to his baron but kept his gaze on Nicholaa. She nudged her husband. He finally remembered his manners and introduced Thomas to his wife. Nicholaa smiled at the soldier. Royce started counting. It only took Thomas the count of five to turn bright red. It was a damned odd affliction, but one from which all of his soldiers, old and young alike, seemed to suffer. All Nicholaa had to do was give a man her full attention, and he was turned from a mighty soldier to a soggy piece of milk toast.
It was shameful. Thomas was now tugging at his collar. He acted as though a heat wave had just poured over him.
Royce glared Thomas into moving, then shook his head in exasperation when the soldier tried to walk out of the hall without taking his gaze away from Nicholaa. He tripped over his own feet of course, then righted himself like an awkward pup and rushed out of the hall.
Nicholaa looked up at Royce. "The soldiers seem nervous around you," she remarked. "I believe you intimidate them."
He smiled. She decided he thought she'd given him a compliment. She was about to explain she hadn't done any such thing when he turned her attention. "I don't intimidate you, do I?"
"Almost as much as you intimidate Ulric," she answered. She edged around her husband to look up at the baby and saw he was sucking on the latches of Royce's tunic.
"Are you ready to tell me your plans for today?" he said.
"My plans?" She didn't seem to know what he was talking about.
"I'll hear your list of duties," he patiently explained.
"What list of duties?"
"Nicholaa, didn't you listen to what I said last night? I distinctly remember telling you that each and every morning you would outline for me your plans for the day."
"Of course I listened," she rushed out. "Don't frown so. I do remember. I just don't have any duties to tell you about. You've taken them all away."
"Explain yourself," he ordered.
She didn't care for his curt tone of voice, but she didn't remark on it. "If Justin and Ulric didn't need me so much, I'd have no reason to stay here," she announced. "You certainly don't need me."
Nicholaa hoped for a denial. He didn't give it to her. "You've still to explain why you don't have duties," he reminded her.
She shrugged. "I thought I was supposed to run my household. However, you've taken over that duty. You gave the staff their orders yesterday, and I assume you will continue to do so."
"That was an unusual circumstance," he replied. "You slept the morning away, remember?"
She did remember. She turned her gaze to the floor. Her husband had kept her up most of the night making love to her. She remembered that, too. "I was very weary," she said.
Her cheeks turned pink. He couldn't imagine what was going through her mind now. He was a patient man, he reminded himself. "That isn't the point," he told her. "In your absence, I made certain decisions."
"Such as moving the table to the center of the room?"
When Royce nodded, she said, "But I changed that order, and others, too, and you were very displeased."
"Yes."
She shook her head. "Royce, I don't understand what you want from me. I'm trying to get along with you, but you confuse me with contradictory requests. Do you or do you not want me to run this household?"
"Yes, I want you to run this household."
"Then---"
"But I never want you to countermand an order I've given. Now you do understand?"
"Do you mean to say that you were upset because I changed your orders?" she asked. "You called the servants together just because..." She stopped when he nodded.
"It was deliberate, wasn't it, Nicholaa?"
"What was deliberate?" she asked, knowing full well what he meant.
"Changing my orders," he answered. "Well?" he prodded when she didn't immediately answer him.
Her shoulders slumped. The man was cunning all right. "It was deliberate," she admitted.
"Why?"
"Because this is my household and my staff," she returned. "And I took exception to you interfering."
Nicholaa walked across the room, then turned around to look at him again. "I don't interfere with your duties, and I don't believe you should interfere with mine."
He took a step toward her. "You've got it backwards, woman. This isn't your household, and it isn't your staff. Both belong to me now. Furthermore," he added before she could argue, "you will never take that tone of voice with me again."
He hadn't raised his voice, but Nicholaa still felt as though he'd roared every word. Even Ulric noticed. He stopped sucking on the latches and stared in wide-eyed surprise at Royce.
Alice walked into the hall then, and Nicholaa thought she'd been given a blessed reprieve from her husband's sudden anger. She was wrong, though. Royce motioned the servant over, handed Ulric to her, and ordered her to take the baby abovestairs.
He waited until Alice left before turning his attention back to his wife. The look on his face was frightening. "Sit down."
She folded her arms in front of her. She wasn't going to back down this time. The man needed to understand she wasn't one of his servants. She was his wife, and he would treat her as such. She couldn't quite look him in the eyes, but she managed to keep her voice from shaking when she said, "If you would like me to sit down, kindly ask me to. I'm not one of your soldiers to be ordered about. I'm your wife. You do understand the difference, don't you?"
He wondered if the soldiers training in the lower bailey had heard her, since Nicholaa had ended her speech in a near shout. She really needed to do something about her temper, he thought to himself. He was still pleased with her, though. She was afraid, yes, but she still held her ground and stood up to him.
He wasn't about to back down, either, of course. "Sit down," he ordered again.
The bite was missing from his order this time. Nicholaa let out a loud sigh as she took her seat. The look on her husband's face told her they would spend the rest of the day arguing. He was so stubborn. He wouldn't give up. She was going to have to let him have his way this one last time.
Nicholaa rested her elbow on the table, propped her head in her hand, and looked up at him. "I'm ready," she announced resignedly.
"Ready for what?" he asked, surprised by her sudden acceptance. He'd expected a little more bluster before she conceded.
"Your lecture."
"I don't lecture."
She started to stand up.
He clasped his hands behind his back. "However..." he began.
She sat down again.
"There are a few things I would like to explain to you once again, wife. You've still to understand how this marriage works."
"But you do understand?"
He frowned at her for interrupting him. "Yes, I do understand," he announced. "I've given this matter much consideration."
"Did I have a place in this consideration?"
"Of course," he answered. "You're my wife."
She guessed she should be pleased he'd remembered that fact. "And?" she prodded.
"It's my duty to protect you. You do agree with that, don't you?"
She nodded.
"And now we come to your primary duty," he continued.
"Yes?" She found herself eager to hear what he was going to say. She suspected that it was going to be outrageous.
"It's very simple to understand, Nicholaa," Royce said. "It's your duty to give me peace. Now, if you would only do your duty---"
"I don't give you peace?"
He shook his head. "There are specific rules of conduct, wife, and I would like you to understand them so we can live in peace together."
She started drumming her fingertips on the table. Royce hadn't said a word about love or caring... yet. She tried not to be disheartened. "What are these rules?" she asked.
He was pleased with her interest. It had been a long time coming, he thought to himself. His patience was being rewarded, though, for his wife was now ready to listen. "One," he began, "you will never raise your voice to me. Two, you will obey my orders without question. Three, you will not weep again. Four, you will not allow spontaneous actions to rule your decisions. Five---"
"Wait," she called out. "Please go back to the third rule. Did you just tell me I cannot weep?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
He was irritated because she looked so incredulous. "I don't like it."
"I do."
It was his turn to look incredulous. "You can't be serious."
"I'm very serious," she answered. "I like to weep. Not all the time, of course, just sometimes. I feel better afterward."
Royce stared down at Nicholaa for a long minute before he came to the conclusion she wasn't jesting. The daft woman really meant what she'd said. He shook his head. He didn't have the faintest idea how to respond to such an illogical remark.
Nicholaa tried to make him understand. "Sometimes, when the frustrations build inside me and everything gets so cluttered up inside my mind, crying makes me feel better. Now do you see?"
"No."
She held her patience. By God, he would understand, she vowed. She didn't know why this foolish conversation mattered so much to her, but it did. She decided to take a different approach. "Haven't you ever become so angry you wanted to hit someone?"
"I don't weep."
"No, of course not," she returned, trying not to smile. Her husband sounded incensed at the mere possibility. "Still, when the anger builds inside you, when you become so furious you want to hit---"
"Then I hit," he interrupted. He paused to give her a fierce frown. "I sure as hell don't weep about it, woman."
She gave up. The man was too obtuse to ever understand.
"Nicholaa, give me your promise you won't weep again."
"Why?"
"Because it displeases me to see you unhappy."
Some of her irritation vanished. "Then you want me to be happy?"
"Of course," he answered. "We'll get along much better if you're happy."
"What about love?" she asked. "Do you want me to love you?" She held her breath while she waited for his answer.
He shrugged.
She wanted to kill him. "Yes or no?" she demanded.
He stared at her. "The question isn't relevant to our discussion."
"Love isn't relevant to marriage?" she said, looking astonished.
Royce didn't know how to answer her. He suddenly felt very unsure of himself.
Nicholaa folded her hands on the table. She decided to tell him the truth, to let him know exactly what was in her heart. It was a little terrifying to bare her soul to Royce. She didn't know what she'd do if he rejected her. It was a gamble, for she hoped and prayed he would tell her what was in his heart as well.
"I told Thurston I loved you." She gazed at her hands and waited for his reaction. God, she felt vulnerable.
"You did?" He sounded surprised.
She nodded. "Yes, I did," she announced in a stronger voice.
He let out a sigh.
She looked up to see if he was smiling or scowling. His expression didn't tell her much, though. He looked as though she'd just given him the dinner menu. "What do you think of that, Royce?" she asked.
"I understand your reason for telling your brother you loved me," he answered. He nodded to emphasize that fact. "You wanted to gain his cooperation."
"His cooperation?"
He nodded again. He had it all figured out. He sounded so damn logical. She wished she could give him a swift kick in his logical backside.
"You wanted Thurston to accept me. That's why you told him you loved me."
He thought she'd lied to her brother. Nicholaa's eyes widened. She didn't know if she should correct him or not. The conversation wasn't going at all well.
"I wanted Thurston to believe I was happy with you," she said. "He asked me to leave with him."
"And so you told him you loved me and wanted to stay with me, but you were thinking of Ulric and Justin, weren't you?"
"There was that," she muttered. She began to drum her fingers on the table again. "I was trying to convince him I'd chosen you for my husband."
"You did choose me."
They were going around in circles. Royce started pacing again. "It made good sense, wife. You thought to ease your brother's mind about your circumstances. Instead of easing his mind, however, you made him furious. Aye, that's why Thurston went into a rage and called you traitor."
"A very logical assumption," she announced. "You've figured it all out, haven't you? But you've still to give me a satisfactory answer. Do you want me to love you?"
"I don't know about such things," he admitted, his voice hesitant. "Do you want to love me?"
She wanted to throttle him. It was apparent he didn't have any idea how important this discussion was to her. He wouldn't act so blase if he did. She couldn't decide whether to weep or throw something. She thought she just might do both.
"Is that all you can say to me?" she asked him.
"No."
Her heart started pounding. Perhaps now he'd tell her he wanted her love. The past few minutes had persuaded her to forget her hope that he'd profess his own feelings. She knew Royce didn't love her yet, but perhaps his attitude was softening. In time, with care and gentle nagging, he might decide to love her just a little.
Royce wasn't able to hide his irritation with his wife. Nicholaa was staring off into space, looking bemused. It was obvious she was daydreaming.
"You will pay attention to what I say."
She smiled up at him. "Yes, husband?"
"Where was I?" he asked, thoroughly distracted.
"I asked you if you wanted me to love you, and you said you didn't know about such things. Then I asked you if you didn't have more to say to me, and---"
"Yes, now I remember," he said. He turned around and started pacing again. He was determined to turn the conversation away from the subject of love. God's truth, he felt completely inadequate discussing that topic. "Nicholaa, I know this is difficult for you, but if you'll only consider..."
"Yes?" she asked breathlessly. Now he would tell her what she so desperately wanted to hear. The way he hesitated was clue enough for Nicholaa. He seemed agitated, too. That was another good sign, she thought to herself.
He cleared his throat and turned to look at her.
She straightened up in her chair and waited.
"Marriage is like a map," he said.
She bounded to her feet. "What?"
"Marriage is like a map, Nicholaa."
She shook her head. "Do you know what I think?" she demanded.
Lord, she was furious. He was astonished by that reaction. What in God's name was the matter with her? "What do you think?" he asked.
"I think you should have married one of your soldiers."
Nicholaa darted around the table and ran out of the great hall. If she hurried, she might reach her room before she started screaming.
Lawrence walked into the hall as Nicholaa rushed out, and the two of them nearly collided. The vassal grabbed her shoulders to steady her. He noticed the tears in her eyes immediately. "Is something wrong, my lady?" he asked. "Has something upset you?"
"Not something," she muttered. "Someone." She turned to glare at Royce and jumped when she found him standing right behind her. He'd sneaked up on her without making a sound.
Royce stared at Nicholaa as he spoke to his vassal. "Was there something you wanted, Lawrence?"
"Yes, Baron."
"Then take your hands off my wife and tell me," Royce ordered.
Lawrence realized he was still holding Nicholaa's shoulders and immediately let go. "You asked to be informed when a change occurred," he announced. He gave Nicholaa a quick glance, then looked at Royce again. "It's happened. He's gone into a rage." Lawrence smiled.
Royce nodded. "It seems to run in the family," he drawled, sending a meaningful frown in Nicholaa's direction. "Though in this instance, I'm pleased. It's about time."
Lawrence nodded. He fell into step next to his baron and started for the outside doors. "About time indeed," the vassal agreed.
Nicholaa's own feelings were pushed aside by the announcement. She knew Lawrence was talking about her brother. "It's Justin, isn't it? He's the one who's gone into a rage." She rushed after her husband.
Royce suddenly stopped. Nicholaa didn't. She bumped into him. He turned around and grabbed hold of her. His grip was almost painful. "You will not interfere."
She had her answer then. It was definitely Justin.
"I won't interfere," she promised. "Just tell me why you're pleased that he's gone into a rage. I would like to be pleased, too."
She hadn't demanded an explanation; she'd merely asked for one. Royce immediately answered. "We've been waiting for your brother to show some kind of reaction to his situation. Until now we've had to force him to eat, to drink, to move. Justin's been trying to hide from life, Nicholaa. Now he's finally opening his eyes. This sudden rage is a good beginning, and that's why I'm pleased."
She hadn't realized she'd grabbed his tunic until he pulled her hands away. "What will you do now?"
His smile made some of her fear dissipate. "I'm going to help him redirect his anger."
"How?"
"By giving him a target."
"A target?" she repeated, still not understanding.
"I'm going to direct his anger toward me," Royce explained. "God willing, by the end of the day your brother's rage will be fully centered on me. He'll want to live for the sole purpose of killing me."
As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he regretted giving her that bit of information. She looked appalled.
"Couldn't you give him some other target?" she asked.
"No."
She sighed. She knew he was right. As the leader of his men, he alone was responsible for the welfare of each and every soldier. She realized she'd actually insulted him by suggesting he give the duty to someone else. He'd taken on the burden of helping Justin and she shouldn't try to undermine his decision.
"I trust you," she announced. She smiled then. "I won't worry about you, either. You wouldn't sound so cheerful if you weren't prepared," she explained. "You'll do what you think is best for Justin."
She stood on tiptoe and kissed him. "I've detained you long enough. Thank you for taking the time to explain it all to me." She smiled at Lawrence, then turned around and walked toward the back of the keep.
"It's good to see a wife who has faith in her husband," Lawrence remarked as he followed Royce outside.
His baron smiled. "Lawrence, wait here," he ordered, "and catch her when she comes around the corner. I won't have her interference. Keep her occupied inside."
The vassal looked astonished. "Do you mean to say---"
"Nicholaa's probably on her way out one of the back doors right now. She has faith in me, yes, but she'll still want to see what's going on. Then she won't be able to stop herself from interfering."
Lawrence smiled. "You understand her very well, Baron."
Royce shook his head. His voice was bleak when he said, "In this instance I understand her. She'll do exactly what you or I would do if Justin were our brother. As for thoroughly understanding my wife, I must confess I'm finding out she's far more complex than I first realized. 'Tis the truth that the smallest remarks set her temper flaring."
He sounded so bewildered that Lawrence nodded sympathetically. Since he'd never been married, he didn't know enough about wives to offer any advice.
Royce wasn't expecting a response, however. He nodded to Lawrence and then walked away. He hadn't even reached the bottom of the first slope when Justin's bellows reached him.
He found Nicholaa's younger brother in the center of a circle of soldiers. One of the men had a bloody nose. Royce assumed Justin was responsible for the injury. He couldn't have been more pleased. He dismissed the soldiers with a curt order, motioned for Ingelram to stay nearby, and then faced Justin alone.
Nicholaa's brother looked like hell. His hair hung around his shoulders in clumps of tangles. It was brown from dirt, and as filthy looking as the rest of him. Justin was dressed in a foul-smelling blue tunic and baggy brown pants. His eyes were blazing with hatred. It was a dramatic change from the flat, glazed look Royce had seen there before.
Royce folded his arms across his chest and stared at Justin. Then he calmly explained the rules of conduct for all soldiers in his ranks. He went right on speaking in a mild, patient voice, even when Justin let out a roar of outrage and lunged at him. Royce easily sidestepped the attack and tripped Justin with his foot.
The boy went sprawling face down. He didn't give up, though. Again and again he attacked. Royce effortlessly ducked each blow while he continued to outline his training program. Justin used his fist, his head, and his shoulders to try to knock Royce down. He spewed foul words all the while. When he called Royce his bastard captor, he found himself flat on his back on the ground. Dust billowed up around him. As soon as the air cleared, he saw Royce looming over him. Justin tried to regain his feet, but Royce held him down by putting one booted foot on his chest.
"I'm neither your captor nor a bastard," he said. "I'm your baron, Justin, and you're my faithful vassal."
Justin closed his eyes and gasped for breath. Royce moved back and continued his list of rules while Justin staggered to his feet. He gathered the last of his strength and spat in Royce's face. He missed his mark by a good yard, but the insult was still there. Royce's reaction was instantaneous. He gave Justin a well deserved kick in his backside and sent him sprawling on the ground again. There wasn't a bit of anger in the punishment. Royce was merely giving the boy his first lesson in survival.
He'd gained Justin's full attention, too. For all his rage, he noticed Royce didn't even look mildly irritated. Justin didn't understand, but inside he was so scared he couldn't think. It seemed that no matter how much he provoked the baron, he couldn't push him into killing him. That realization terrified Justin, for it meant he'd have to go on living.
"All the things I've just explained to you come down to a few basic rules," Royce continued. "You will not embarrass your unit. You will train to your fullest capacity, you will treat others with respect, and you will never, ever show cowardice, for to do any of those things would embarrass this unit. You will learn to depend upon others as they will learn to depend upon you. It's very simple, Justin."
Royce knew full well the boy didn't understand. Justin looked like a caged animal who'd just escaped his prison. There was a wild, hunted look about him.
"What do you want from me?" Justin suddenly roared.
Royce put his booted foot on Justin's chest again. "All you can give," he announced. "And then more, Justin. And by God, you'll give me exactly what I want."
He moved away from Justin then and motioned Ingelram over to his side. "Go with Justin," he commanded. "Show him where the uniforms are kept." He glanced down at Justin. "You will wash the filth away now. Tomorrow your training with the others begins."
Royce deliberately turned his back on Justin when he walked away. Ingelram reached down to offer his hand in helping the boy up. Justin shoved his hand away. When he regained his feet, Ingelram moved to one side and waited. He didn't call out a warning, for he knew his baron would expect a sneak attack. Justin rushed after Royce and tried to tackle him from behind. He found himself grasping air at the last second and ended up on his knees.
Royce turned around and once again used his foot to shove Justin onto his back on the ground. "If you want the privilege of fighting me, you'll have to earn it. You're going to have to get a hell of a lot stronger first, boy."
"Boy!" Justin roared.
Royce nodded. "You aren't even worthy to be called Dove yet," he said. "Ingelram? I just ordered you to show him to the uniforms. See it carried through."
The vassal nodded to Royce, then again offered his hand to Justin. Nicholaa's brother instinctively reached up. He was pulled to his feet before he realized he'd accepted assistance. He was too overwhelmed with exhaustion to think coherently. His shoulders were slumped in defeat. He would fight them all tomorrow, he decided, when he was rested, when he was stronger.
He fell into step beside the young Norman soldier.
"I was called 'boy' once or twice when I first entered the baron's ranks," Ingelram said. "Then I officially became a Dove. You see, Justin, we new recruits are called Doves by the older, more experienced knights. It's meant as an insult, of course, but they were all once Doves, too, and so we take it in stride. We compete against them every chance we're given, too. When you get rid of your anger, you'll realize how fortunate you are to have been allowed to join the most elite unit in all of England and Normandy combined."
Ingelram had spoken earnestly, but Justin scoffed. "I'll be leaving soon," he muttered. "I have no need to hear this ignorant explanation."
Ingelram shook his head. "You can't leave without permission," he said. "It would embarrass our unit. You have to stay here."
He turned Justin's attention then when he said, "Did you notice that each time you attacked the baron, he retaliated without using his hands?"
Justin hadn't noticed. His eyes widened when he realized Ingelram had spoken the truth. He refused to answer Ingelram, though. He scowled instead.
Ingelram wasn't daunted. "Baron Royce used his feet. You didn't." He slapped Justin on his shoulder. "You've just had your first lesson in defense." He laughed after making that statement, then added, "God, Justin, you smell as rank as a well-used whore."
Justin ignored that comment. He vowed there wouldn't be any more lessons to endure. He was going to leave the holding tonight, after the other soldiers had fallen asleep.
He was so ravenous that evening he ate a full dinner. He was forced to sit with the other soldiers and listen to their conversations. No one tried to draw him into discussion, but the men didn't actually exclude him, either.
His pallet was positioned between Ingelram's and Gerald's. Justin's last thought before exhaustion overtook him was that he would rest for just a few minutes, then get up, gather his meager possessions, and leave.
He awakened in the dead of night, but he didn't even make it to the door. A soldier Justin had never seen before blocked his path. He calmly explained that his name was Bryan, that he was also a new recruit, and that he only wanted to remind Justin he couldn't leave without permission.
Bryan had dark curly hair and brown eyes. He was shorter than Justin by an inch or two, but his muscles made him an intimidating barrier. "I've been reminded," Justin muttered. "Now get out of my way."
Bryan was suddenly joined by three more soldiers. They were as sleepy-eyed as Bryan, and just as determined to keep Justin inside.
"Why the hell do you care if I leave or not?" Justin raged.
"It would embarrass our unit if one of us left," Ingelram called out from his bed. "Go back to sleep, Justin."
He knew he couldn't win. There were too many of them, and he was too weary. He grudgingly returned to his bed. No one jeered at him. That surprised Justin. It infuriated him, too. He wanted a reason to hate the soldiers, and they weren't giving him any.
Several minutes passed before everyone settled back down for the remainder of the night. Ingelram was just drifting off to sleep when he felt Justin nudge him.
"What happens when someone embarrasses your unit?" Justin whispered. He was already damning himself for asking that question. He certainly didn't want to give Ingelram the notion he cared. He was merely curious, that was all.
"Believe me, Justin," Ingelram whispered back, "you don't want to know."
He did want to know, though, and couldn't stop himself from prodding Ingelram again. "Is the punishment severe?"
"Yes."
"Is it death, then?"
Ingelram snorted. "No," he answered. "Death's easy, Justin. The punishment isn't. Go to sleep now. Tomorrow will be a difficult day for all of us."
Justin didn't take that advice. There was too much to think about.
Nicholaa was also wide awake. Little Ulric was giving her fits. The baby was terribly fretful tonight. Since he wasn't feverish, she decided he was crying over another tooth trying to poke through his tender gums.
He was content only when he was being held and walked. Nicholaa felt it was her responsibility to take care of the little one at night. The servants needed their rest. She dismissed the staff and then paced the chamber with Ulric in her arms.
She couldn't have slept anyway. Her mind was in such a state of confusion. She wished now she hadn't witnessed the confrontation between Royce and her brother, Justin. Oh, God, how she wished she hadn't seen that horror.
Royce had been so cruel. If she hadn't seen what was happening, she wouldn't have believed it possible. To kick an injured, defenseless boy... No, she wouldn't have believed her husband capable of such despicable conduct.
She would have wept over her brother's humiliation if Lawrence hadn't spotted her on the walkway and rushed up to join her. He'd tried to coax her into leaving, but it was already too late.
Nicholaa couldn't face Royce at dinner. She stayed abovestairs, taking care of her nephew. Royce didn't send anyone to fetch her. He probably wouldn't even notice she wasn't sitting beside him at the table. No, her husband was very likely planning his next attack on her brother.
Royce did miss Nicholaa, of course. Supper was served an hour later than usual to accommodate Royce's schedule, and Alice thought her mistress had already gone to bed. "She looked very sleepy," she remarked.
Lawrence waited until the servant had returned to the buttery, then leaned over to offer his own explanation. "I've been trying to catch you alone to tell you what happened today," he began. "Nicholaa is probably avoiding you, Baron. I would wager that's why she's upstairs."
"Why would she avoid me?"
"She witnessed your confrontation with Justin."
"Hell. How in God's name did that happen?"
"I take full responsibility," Lawrence said. "As you instructed, I waited for Lady Nicholaa to come around the corner. A good five minutes passed before I happened to glance up and catch a glimpse of blue. It was her gown. Your wife had climbed up to the walkway atop the wall, Baron. By the time I reached her, it was too late. She'd seen it all."
Royce shook his head. "Damn," he muttered.
Lawrence nodded. "The look on her face was very distressing to see," he admitted. "She looked... devastated. She didn't say anything, though. She just turned around and walked away."
"I can just imagine what she's thinking. She's never going to understand. Perhaps it's just as well she's already gone to bed. In the morning I'll try to reason with her."
Thomas joined the men at the table. Royce forced the matter of his wife aside and concentrated on listening to the soldier's report concerning the feasibility of restoring Nicholaa's home. The report confirmed what Royce already suspected: the structure wasn't sound enough to save.
Talk continued until midnight. Royce finally went up to his chamber, fully expecting to find Nicholaa sound asleep.
He didn't find her at all. The chamber was empty. His first thought was that she'd left him. It was a ridiculous, illogical reaction, but she wasn't there, damn it all, and she should have been in bed by now. His heart started slamming a wild beat inside his chest. He could almost taste his fear. If she'd left the holding, she wouldn't survive the night. Royce suddenly felt that he was actually living a nightmare he'd had about her the night they'd reached London. In his dream, Nicholaa had been lost in the forest, and he hadn't been able to get to her.
He shook his head. He needed to calm down, he told himself, in order to think this situation through. The woman had absolutely no reason to leave him. He'd been kind and patient with her. Dear God, if anything happened to her, he didn't know what he'd do.
He raced out of the room. He shouted her name in a true roar, then started down the hallway, bellowing her name again.
As he passed Ulric's chamber, the door flew open and Nicholaa stood there frowning at him. Ulric was settled against her shoulder. The baby was fretting.
Royce was so relieved to see her that he scowled. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"Lower your voice, Royce," she ordered. "You're upsetting the baby."
"Why aren't you in bed where you belong?"
He couldn't seem to control his anger. He was so happy to see her that he felt like shouting. Then he realized he was. He almost laughed then. She was safe. She hadn't left him.
And he was losing his mind. He took a deep breath. His voice was mild when he said, "Ulric needs his sleep, Nicholaa. If you must hold him, do so tomorrow."
"He wants to be held now," she snapped.
Royce shook his head. "Give him to me."
"Will you quit giving orders? I'm exhausted."
"Then go to bed."
She was never going to understand him. "All right," she announced. "I'll go to bed." She thrust Ulric into his arms and marched out of the room. "You take care ' of the baby," she ordered. "Perhaps you can shout him to sleep."
"I never shout." He shut the door. She was shaking with anger by the time she reached their room. God was supposed to be on her side, wasn't he? Then why was she married to such a mean, impossible man? She couldn't possibly love him. He was arrogant, unbending, and had to have his way all the time. There wasn't a bit of give-and-take in his nature.
He'd actually raised his voice to her! Royce had never shouted at her before. She didn't like it. Nicholaa was stopped short by that realization. She wanted him to change, didn't she? No, she admitted. She wanted him to stay just the way he was.
She was losing her mind. It was exhaustion, she told herself. She fell asleep the minute she closed her eyes. She awakened an hour later when she rolled over to snuggle up against her husband and found his side of the bed empty. Her mind immediately cleared.
The baby must be giving Royce fits. She put on her robe and ran barefoot down the dark corridor.
She rushed into the baby's chamber, then came to a quick stop. She smiled at the sight before her. Both Royce and Ulric were sound asleep. Her husband was stretched out on the bed. He'd taken his boots off but was otherwise fully clothed. Ulric was sleeping face down on Royce's chest. The baby's mouth was open and he was drooling all over her husband's tunic. Royce held the baby with both hands. Nicholaa quietly closed the door and then stood there a long, long while staring at the pair.
She wasn't losing her mind after all. She wasn't even confused now. She knew exactly why she'd fallen in love with Royce. He was everything a wife could ever want. He was kind, gentle, and soon, she promised herself, he'd become loving, too. She wouldn't give up. The next time he pricked her temper, she would pull this night from her memory as a reminder to herself.
Nicholaa walked over to the side of the bed intending to move Ulric to his crib without waking her husband, but the minute she touched Royce's hand, he opened his eyes and reached for her. He held Ulric steady with one hand and pulled her down next to him with the other.
She snuggled up against her husband's side and closed her eyes.
"Nicholaa?" His voice was a bare whisper.
"Yes?" she whispered back.
"You belong with me."
Lady Millicent and her husband, Baron Duncan, of the border Duncans, came to collect Ulric six days later. Nicholaa hadn't been informed of the guests' arrival. Quite by chance, she walked into the great hall, her apron filled with spring flowers, and saw them there. She dropped the flowers.
Ulric's aunt was holding him and cooing, as a mother would to her own son. Duncan stood next to his wife, his hand on her shoulder. He was leaning down toward the baby and grinning like a proud father.
Nicholaa couldn't seem to remember her manners. She stood there staring for the longest while, trying to gather her composure.
Fortunately only Royce noticed her distress. He walked over to her, just as she was kneeling to collect the flowers. "Leave them," he whispered as he gently lifted her back to her feet.
Alice stood to one side of the entrance mopping her eyes with her sleeve. Royce motioned for her to pick up the flowers, then took Nicholaa's hand and pulled her forward.
"Have you ever met Baron Duncan and Lady Millicent?" he asked her.
Nicholaa nodded. "At Thurston's wedding. They seemed pleasant enough."
"Did you know they've been married twelve years?"
She didn't know, and she didn't particularly care. She just wanted to snatch Ulric out of his aunt's arms and take him upstairs.
But that wasn't possible. "Do they have children of their own?"
"No," Royce answered. "Smile, Nicholaa," he ordered.
She smiled. Baron Duncan was staring intently at her. He was a squat-framed man with a full reddish orange beard. She remembered how kind he was to her when she and her family went to his holding for Thurston's wedding.
She moved away from Royce and made a curtsy. Her expression was serene now. She wanted to weep with Alice, but she knew she must behave with dignity. Ulric's welfare was more important than her own feelings. She tried to remember that.
Her voice barely quavered when she spoke. "It's a pleasure to see both of you again."
Ulric reached out to her. Nicholaa started to take him from Millicent, then changed her mind. She backed up a step. "He's a very affectionate child," she remarked, "and he's not afraid of strangers. Most babies are, you know," she rambled on, wishing Royce would stop her. "Ulric's an exceptional child."
Baron Duncan nodded. "Aye, he is exceptional," he agreed. "We know how difficult this parting is for you, Nicholaa. Your husband has told us how attached you've become to the babe."
Millicent handed Ulric to her husband and then rushed over to take Nicholaa's hand. Ulric's aunt, his mother's sister, was a heavyset woman with wide shoulders and wider thighs. She wasn't very appealing in appearance until you looked at her eyes. Then you forgot about her figure altogether, for Lady Millicent had lovely brown eyes that sparkled with warmth. "We'll take good care of him," she promised.
"Will you love him?" Nicholaa asked. "Babies need love. Did my brother explain why he wanted you to take Ulric?"
Millicent turned to her husband, and Duncan walked over to stand directly in front of Nicholaa. Ulric, she noticed, was clearly fascinated by Duncan's beard. He was tugging on it while he babbled out his new sounds.
"Yes," Duncan answered. "He did explain, but Thurston isn't thinking clearly now, Nicholaa."
"You don't have to give me excuses for my brother's conduct," Nicholaa interrupted. She took a deep breath, then said, "Please sit down, both of you. I shall have a chamber made ready for you. We'll have a fine supper..."
She stopped when Duncan shook his head. The sadness in his expression should have been warning enough for Nicholaa. "We can't stay," he announced, "because of yet another outrageous promise your brother made us give him."
"'Tis the truth we would have promised him anything to make certain Ulric remained safe," Millicent interjected. "If we didn't agree to his conditions, he said he would take his son up into the hills."
Nicholaa edged closer to Royce's side. Just touching him somehow helped her maintain her composure. His mere presence comforted her. "What was the other promise you had to give?" she asked. "You said, 'yet another outrageous promise,' " she reminded Duncan.
"Thurston made us promise you'd have nothing to do with Ulric." He shook his head. "He had his plans all set when he came here," he said. "He fully expected you and Ulric to leave with him."
"Right then and there, in the dead of night," Millicent interjected.
Nicholaa didn't want to talk about Thurston's expectations. "The only important issue now is the welfare of the baby," she announced.
She turned around to make certain Alice was still lingering in the hall. "You may weep later, Alice. Go and pack Ulric's things now." She softened her command by adding, "Please, Alice?"
Nicholaa turned around again to confront the couple. She moved away from Royce's side, folded her arms in front of her, and then said, "Now I'll have two promises from you before I let Ulric leave."
Royce raised an eyebrow over the change in his wife. She sounded like a commander now.
Duncan looked wary. "What are these promises?"
"First, you must promise to treat Ulric as if he is your own son."
Before she could go into her reasons for demanding that promise, both Millicent and Duncan agreed.
"Second, you will give me your word that Ulric will stay with you. If Thurston comes back and wants to take his son to someone else, for whatever reason, you won't let him. You will treat Ulric like your own son, and soon he'll begin to feel... secure. He will stay with you two from this moment on. I won't have him uprooted again. I..."
She couldn't go on. Royce put his arm around her and pulled her up against his side. "They've already given me that promise, Nicholaa," he said.
Millicent and Duncan immediately nodded.
Nicholaa sagged against Royce.
"Thurston won't be allowed to uproot his son again," Royce assured her.
"Thank you." She was stunned that Royce had already taken care of that worry, and she was pleased that he was so concerned about Ulric's well-being.
An hour later Millicent and Duncan took Ulric away. Royce ordered a full contingent of soldiers to ride escort.
Nicholaa barely spoke a word to anyone for the rest of the long day. She kept busy with a frenzy of cleaning. Royce didn't know how to console his wife. When she didn't come to the great hall for dinner, he went up to their room. He found Nicholaa sitting in a chair near the hearth. Without a word, he pulled her up, sat down, and then settled her on his lap. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight.
Neither said a word for a long while. Then Royce broke the silence. "It was difficult for you today."
She didn't remark on that truth.
"They didn't know how difficult," he said then. "I'm proud of you, Nicholaa."
She closed her eyes and let her head drop onto his shoulder.
"Do you remember my order to you?" he asked.
"Which one?" she asked. "There were so many."
He ignored her sarcasm. "The one about weeping," he reminded her.
She smiled in spite of her misery. "Ah, yes, rule number three," she whispered. "You told me I couldn't cry."
He kissed the top of her head. "I've changed my mind," he announced in a gruff voice. "You may weep if you're so inclined."
It really was ridiculous for him to think that a simple change in orders could bring about her tears. She certainly wasn't going to cry just because he'd told her it was now permissible. Besides, she didn't feel like weeping.
She soaked his tunic through before she finished. Then she started hiccuping. He didn't try to stop her. He just continued to hold her close until she finally quieted down.
"They're good people, Nicholaa."
"Yes."
"They will treat Ulric like their own," Royce remarked.
She nodded. Lord he hated to see her unhappy. "Nicholaa, you do understand why I let Ulric leave, don't you?"
The worry in his voice was more of a comfort to her than his hug. He did care about her feelings, if only just a little, or he wouldn't have been so eager to make her fully understand his motives.
"You don't want to hurt Thurston because he's my brother, but you knew he'd come back here if Ulric remained. I understand."
Royce was surprised he felt so relieved. "I'm not a difficult man to get along with," he told her.
He fully expected her agreement. He didn't get it. "Yes, you are difficult," she countered. "Where will you send Justin?"
"I'm not sending Justin anywhere."
"Then Thurston will still come back here. He'll come for Justin."
"Yes." He didn't expound on that answer.
Nicholaa leaned away from him. "Ulric could have stayed..." She stopped when he shook his head. "I don't understand," she said.
"Justin's a man, Nicholaa. He can make his own choices. Ulric can't. I couldn't allow him to be caught in a tug-of-war."
"But Justin's like a child, too," Nicholaa argued.
"He isn't," he countered. "He's weak now, but each day he'll improve, in both mind and body."
"And if Thurston comes back to get him before this improvement takes place?"
"Justin won't leave with him."
Royce didn't add that it didn't matter if Justin wanted to go or not. He wouldn't allow her brother to leave until he was strong enough to survive on his own.
"Has he improved since that first day?" she asked, trying to sound only mildly interested.
"Yes."
"So everything's going according to your plans?"
"Yes."
She let out a loud sigh. "Then you don't have to kick Justin anymore?"
Royce smiled. His wife had finally managed to bring up the topic he knew she'd wanted to discuss.
"Answer me, please," she said. "Do you still kick Justin?"
There was a noticeable sting in her voice now. Royce ignored it. "Only when I want to," he finally answered.
She tried to get off his lap. He held her tight. "You really shouldn't have watched, you know."
"Lawrence told you, didn't he?" She sounded indignant.
"My vassal didn't betray you, Nicholaa. It was his duty to tell me. Besides, your expression would have told me anyway."
"It was my right to watch," she announced. "He's my brother."
"That isn't as important as his relationship to me."
"He's just your brother-in-law," she said incredulously.
"He's also my vassal," he patiently explained. "That bond is far more important. Surely you understand that."
She didn't understand anything anymore. Everything had been turned inside out since the Normans started running things. King William had set up a rigid power structure in which everyone in his kingdom had a specific place, a specific duty. Aye, from the lowest serfs to the highest noblemen, everyone had a place. Everyone but Nicholaa... or so she felt in her heart. She didn't fit in to this new scheme of things. She was suddenly so frightened that she actually started shaking. For a long time she'd had many responsibilities, but now Royce was methodically taking those duties away from her. She'd made a vow to protect her family in any way that she could. She had once believed that Ulric and Justin needed her to keep them safe. Now Ulric was gone. Soon Justin would leave, too. When her brother completed his training, he would leave to find his own way in this difficult world. Justin didn't need her even now, she realized. No, he needed Royce to teach him how to be strong again.
No one needed her. The holding belonged to Royce, and so did the servants. They had already given her husband their complete loyalty. It was only right, she told herself, because he was the master of this castle now... but where did that leave her?
Nicholaa couldn't shake the bout of self-pity she seemed to be wallowing in. She let out a sigh, pushed herself off her husband's lap, and prepared for bed. She barely noticed that Royce was undressing, too.
Damn, she hated feeling sorry for herself, but she couldn't seem to stop. She felt empty inside---guilty, too. She'd deliberately trapped Royce into this marriage. He was only making the best of his circumstances.
Nicholaa was standing near the bed, dressed only in her white chemise, her mind filled with chaos, when Royce put his arms around her waist and pulled her back against him. He leaned down to nuzzle the side of her neck.
"Royce, you don't need anyone, do you?"
Since they'd been talking about her brother only minutes before, he misunderstood her question. "I'm a trainer," he answered. "I'm not supposed to need anyone."
She turned around in his arms, splaying her hands on his bare chest. "I have a confession to make to you," she said. "Will you listen to me?"
Her fingers were making circles around his nipples. He put his hands on top of hers. "If you want me to listen, you'll have to stop that."
"This is a serious confession," she warned him.
He quit smiling. "All right. I'm listening."
She turned her gaze to his chin. She didn't want to be distracted. "When I chose you for my husband, I was thinking only of myself. I was being very selfish. I realize that now. I didn't care if I ruined your life."
"I would never allow anyone to ruin my life," he countered.
"But you never would have chosen me," she rushed out. She put her hand over his mouth to stop him from interrupting her again. "You probably think I was just getting even with you for taking me to London, and in part, perhaps that was true. But there was much more to my reasons, Royce. You were so gentle with Ulric. I knew you'd be a good father when I saw how you held him and made certain he was protected. You were gentle with me, too," she added in another rush. "I came to know you quite well by the time we reached London. You're proud and arrogant, but also strong and patient."
She paused to gather her courage to give him the rest of her confession. Royce pulled her hand away from his mouth and kissed her palm. "Are you finished yet? I have something to say to you when you're done."
She shook her head. "I have to say all of this, Royce, before I lose my courage."
His smile was filled with tenderness. "You have enough courage. You can afford to lose a little of it," he told her.
He was wrong, but she wasn't going to tell him so now.
"You'd already given me your word you'd look after Justin," she said, "but that wasn't enough for me. No, I then forced you to marry me and added Ulric and myself to your burden." She let out a sigh. "I can't change what I've done to you, but I want you to know I'm sorry I didn't consider your feelings. I know I haven't made your adjustment easy. I've fought you every step of the way. But that's going to stop now. I'm going to be the kind of wife you want, Royce. I give you my word. We'll live in peace and harmony together, just the way you want."
He gently brushed the hair away from her face. The tenderness in his expression brought tears to her eyes. She ached with her need to tell him she loved him. She wouldn't give him that confession, though, no matter how much she wanted to, for her pledge would only be one more burden for him to carry around. She knew he didn't love her, and because he was such a kind, caring man, he was sure to feel guilty over that fact.
"Nicholaa, are you sorry you married me?"
"Oh, no, I'm not sorry," she answered. "You haven't listened to a word I've said, have you? You're the one who's sorry."
"I am?"
His sudden grin waylaid her concentration. She nodded, but couldn't remember why. She was overwrought, she decided. She put her arms around her husband's neck, drawing his full attention, then tugged on his hair to bring his head down to hers. When he complied with that command, she kissed him with all the love and passion inside her.
Royce had planned to sit down with her and straighten out all of her crooked conclusions, but the minute her mouth touched his, he decided to put that discussion aside until later. He only wanted to think about kissing her back.
He went a little wild when her tongue rubbed against his. He growled low in his throat to let her know how much he liked that boldness. His hands shook when he untied the ribbon holding her chemise together. He moved back just long enough to let the garment fall to the floor, then roughly pulled her up against him, his jaw clenching when he felt her soft full breasts press against his chest.
Nicholaa tore her mouth away from his and kissed a wet path down his throat. She pushed his hands away from her waist as she moved lower. Her tongue stroked a circle around first one and then the other nipple hidden beneath the mat of crisp hair covering his chest. Then she moved lower still until she'd reached his hard, flat stomach. His skin was so hot, so appealing to her. Her tongue flicked his navel. He inhaled sharply, telling her without words he liked that caress.
His reaction made her want to please him even more.
Royce's knees almost buckled when Nicholaa knelt in front of him. His hands turned into fists at his sides. He knew what she was going to do, but the agony of waiting for her to touch him, to feel himself inside her soft, wet mouth was almost unbearable.
And then the wait was over. Her hands stroked him until he was wild, and then her mouth closed around the tip of his arousal. Royce forgot to breathe. The growl deep in his throat turned into a low groan of surrender. He moved against her. Once. Twice. He had to stop her. Her tongue was making him crazed, and he knew if he didn't stop her now, it would be too late. "Enough," he commanded, his voice harsh with his need.
She didn't want to stop. He forced her to stand up, then wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her off the floor. He was out of control now, desperate to find fulfillment, and yet he wanted Nicholaa to surrender with him.
Somehow they got into bed. His mouth slanted over hers even as he was covering her body with his own. He stroked the fire of passion inside her with his tongue and his hands. His fingers thrust inside her and when he felt the moist heat there, his control completely snapped.
She arched up against him. "Royce, come to me now. I don't want to wait any longer."
He would have smiled over the demand in her voice if he'd had the strength. Nicholaa was wild now, as out of control as he was. She scraped his shoulders with her nails and moved restlessly against him.
Royce rolled onto his back, taking her with him, then forced her legs apart. She straddled his thighs, but still didn't understand what he wanted to do. She tried to get him to roll over again.
"Royce!" She shouted her demand this time.
He jerked her head down by pulling on her hair and sealed her protest with a long hot kiss. His thighs came up and the tip of his hard arousal brushed against her. She understood then. She pulled back and looked down into her husband's eyes. The passion she saw there made the warm knot of longing inside her burst into flames of pleasure.
"We can make love this way?" she asked in a ragged voice.
He didn't answer her. He showed her instead. He slowly eased into her. God, she was so tight, so hot. She felt so good. Royce closed his eyes in sheer ecstasy. He never wanted the feeling to end.
He wouldn't let her quicken the pace. He gripped her hips as he slowly penetrated her. Nicholaa's head fell back, and she let out a moan of pleasure. Her hands gripped Royce's upper arms.
"Lean back, Nicholaa."
She did as he ordered, then cried out. She'd taken all of him inside her. Her lower back was cushioned against his thighs now. Heat surrounded her, penetrated her.
"Am I hurting you? I don't want to hurt you."
She hushed his worry by taking his mind off the matter. She shifted, just a little and liked that wonderful feeling so much that she moved again.
He grunted with pleasure. He opened his eyes to find her staring down at him. Were his eyes as glazed with passion as hers were? He knew they must be. It seemed a miracle to him that such a beautiful woman would want him as much as he wanted her.
She loved him. The thought cut through his haze of passion and lust. Aye, she loved him.
Nicholaa could no longer ignore the pressure building inside her. She felt as if she might explode with her need to find release from this sweet torture. She wanted it all now. She wouldn't let Royce set the pace, couldn't stop herself from moving, ever so slowly at first, and then more forcefully until she was mindless to everything but finding release.
He helped her find fulfillment. He knew just what spots to touch, to caress, to drive her beyond the brink.
His fingers were as magical as the rest of him. Her whole body suddenly tightened around him. Royce couldn't hold back any longer. He poured his seed into her with a shout of surrender. Nicholaa's release was every bit as consuming, just as shattering. She didn't shout; she wept.
She collapsed against her husband and held him tight. She never wanted to let go. It took a long, long time for Royce to recover. He gently stroked Nicholaa's shoulders, her back, her arms. He couldn't stop touching her. She felt so good pressed up against him. Each time he made love to her, he was left feeling stunned by the beauty of her response to him. She never held a part of herself back from him. Royce had never experienced such bliss or felt such contentment.
It was a miracle, a gift. His wife could make him feel weak and powerful at the very same time. He knew that contradiction didn't make any sense, but neither did the fact that he was now married to such a gentle, beautiful woman.
He couldn't believe she could love him. He'd never expected such a thing could happen to him. On the day he was disfigured---Lord, was he only fifteen years old then?---he'd accepted his lot in life. The looks of revulsion on women's faces as they openly stared at him... yes, he'd learned to accept.
But Nicholaa loved him.
"Royce?"
"Yes?"
"Was it... all right?" Her voice was hesitant, filled with embarrassment. "What I did?"
He knew what she was talking about of course. "Oh, yes, it was all right," he answered. "What made you---"
"I wanted to," she interrupted.
A long minute passed before Royce spoke again. "Nicholaa, did you make love that way because you were trying to be the kind of wife you thought I wanted, or did you take me into your mouth because you wanted to?"
She was thankful he couldn't see her face. She was burning with embarrassment. "I already told you I wanted to," she whispered into the darkness. "And you said you liked it. My, I'm tired. I believe I'll go to sleep now."
He wrapped his arms around her to keep her warm. He took the hint, of course, that Nicholaa didn't want to discuss the intimacy.
She fell asleep minutes later. Royce stayed awake much longer. What an innocent charmer his wife was. He recounted her confession over and over again in his mind. She really believed she'd forced him to marry her.
Something else was bothering her, too. Something in the way she'd spoken told him she was harboring another worry or two. Nicholaa had looked so vulnerable, he remembered, and there had been a desperate edge in her voice.
Hell, he hoped she didn't have a couple more brothers she hadn't mentioned to him yet.
That possibility made him smile. He wondered how long it would take him to really understand his wife. Royce decided he'd have to sit down with her and discuss these concerns. He didn't want her to worry about anything. She was going to be happy, he vowed, and he wouldn't stop prodding her until she was.
Royce woke up in the middle of the night when Nicholaa rolled away from him in her sleep. He followed her. He would have fallen back to sleep if her backside hadn't rubbed up against his groin. That enticement was too much to ignore. He had to touch her then. One caress led to another and another, and before he was fully awake, he was making slow, sweet love to her.
Their mouths melted together in long, lazy kisses, and their lovemaking was filled with tenderness. And when they'd both found fulfillment, they fell asleep hugging each other.
Nicholaa's behavior underwent a radical change. It all started the morning after she promised to become the kind of wife Royce wanted.
She rose at the crack of dawn, dressed quietly, and went down to the great hall. She was giving directions to the servants for the day's activities before her husband had even opened his eyes.
Nicholaa missed Ulric so much she was aching inside. She was determined to keep busy so she wouldn't have time for self-pity. She was going to work until she dropped from exhaustion.
She was going to give her husband peace, too. The problem, of course, was figuring out how to accomplish that goal. She'd have to control her temper, keep her opinions to herself, and agree with her husband at all times.
She might as well be dead, she thought to herself. The changes would probably kill her. Still, she'd given her word to Royce, and she was going to keep it. She owed him her gratitude for everything he'd done for her family, too. Granted, she'd forced him to take on those responsibilities, and she'd ruined his life in the process. The very least she could do to make up for that was to give the man what he wanted.
In the back of her mind lurked the tiny hope that, once she'd made all these changes, Royce might start to love her. She didn't just want a place in his life. She wanted his heart, too.
Nicholaa was arranging flowers in the brown clay bowl on the table when Clarise and Alice hurried into the hall.
The two women took turns offering comfort to each other over the loss of their "precious little baggage," the affectionate term they'd given to Ulric.
The more they talked about the baby the more upset Nicholaa became. She shook her head and announced Ulric would be well loved.
"I've a list of chores to give you today," she said then. "Every morning I'll divide our duties and we'll get them done before nightfall. We're going to get organized, ladies."
"Why?" Clarise asked. "We've gotten everything done in the past without being organized."
"My husband doesn't like disorder," Nicholaa explained. "And I've given him my word I will become the kind of wife he wants. Therefore---"
Alice interrupted her. "But he likes you fine the way you are."
Clarise agreed. "You can't believe otherwise, mistress. Why, the baron's so kind and patient---"
"He's kind and patient with everyone," Nicholaa interjected.
"Well, then," Clarise asked, "why this need to change?"
"I'm after more," Nicholaa confessed in a whisper. "I would like Royce to..." She couldn't get the words out.
Clarise took sympathy on her. "You would like the baron to feel about you the same way your father felt about your mother? Is that what you're meaning to say?"
Nicholaa nodded.
Clarise snorted, then turned to Alice. "She thinks the baron doesn't love her."
"Oh, he must love her," Alice replied. "Of course he does."
Nicholaa let out a sigh. "You both love me," she announced, "just as I love you, and for that reason you can't imagine that someone else wouldn't."
Clarise scowled. Nicholaa held up her hand so neither servant would interrupt, then calmly outlined the changes she planned to make. The two women looked at her incredulously.
"You're never going to raise your voice?" Alice asked, latching on to the last change Nicholaa had explained.
Clarise shook her head. "You can't be serious," she said. "If the man can't love you for what you are---"
"I'm saying he does love her," Alice muttered. "Milady, you need only put the question to him."
Nicholaa's shoulders drooped. She didn't like admitting that she was afraid to ask. If he told her no, what would she do? "It doesn't matter if he loves me or not," she said. "I owe him my gratitude. I'm going to give him the happiness and peace he deserves. It's the least I can do."
"I've never seen you so unsure of yourself," Clarise muttered. "I'm not liking it, either. I liked you better when you would take the dog by his tail and give him what for. Aye, you always had yourself a plan in the past when you wanted to get something."
Nicholaa smiled. "I have a plan now," she argued. "I'll give Royce exactly what he wants, and then he'll realize he loves me. See how simple it is?"
Royce walked into the hall, interrupting the discussion. Nicholaa hurried over to meet him at the entrance and gave him a proper greeting. She kissed him, too.
Clarise and Alice hurried to the buttery to see about the morning meal. Nicholaa walked with Royce to the table.
She was smiling. Royce was pleased by that. Since his wife was in a pleasant frame of mind, he decided to wait before sitting down to discuss her worries with her.
Perhaps he'd been too concerned last night. Nicholaa was probably just overwrought because Ulric had left. He knew she was going to miss the baby, and her mood last night was probably just a reflection of the emptiness she was feeling inside.
Thomas and Lawrence strolled into the hall and took their positions at the table.
As soon as Royce sat down, Nicholaa clasped her hands behind her back and recited the duties she planned to undertake for the day.
He couldn't have been more pleased with her. He was about to tell her so when Thomas interrupted.
"Have you had a chance to explain about the wood, Baron?"
Royce shook his head. He reached around behind Nicholaa and took one of her hands. Since she was in such a cheerful mood, now would be a good time to discuss her home.
"Nicholaa, you never asked me why I ordered this table moved to the center of the room," he began.
"It isn't my place to question your orders, husband," she answered, repeating his own dictate back to him.
He smiled.
She decided then he was happy because she remembered that lecture.
"I had the table moved because the floorboards under the spot where it used to stand have almost completely rotted through. By all rights, the table should have crashed through to the lower level long ago."
Nicholaa hadn't realized the floors were in such bad condition. She forced herself to keep smiling as she waited for Royce to continue.
"It's a miracle the entire floor hasn't collapsed," Thomas interjected.
Royce nodded. "The second floor is rotted as well. Thomas doesn't believe it can be reinforced."
Thomas volunteered additional information. Nicholaa noticed that Royce nudged the vassal first. "The entire structure should be torn down and a new one built," Thomas blurted out.
"The cost will be four times greater if the baron tries to save this one," Lawrence added.
Nicholaa didn't react to this news. She knew Royce was only telling her the truth. How often had her mother remarked that the keep was falling down around them? Nicholaa remembered the heated debates between her parents. Papa had wanted to leave things just the way they were. He hated change. Mother had been more practical. Nicholaa realized she took after her father; she also hated change. Then she noticed how concerned the three men looked as they stared at her. They were in league together, gently planting the seeds of her eventual acceptance.
Her husband obviously did care about her feelings after all. "I haven't made a final decision," Royce announced in a gruff, no-nonsense voice.
He wasn't telling her the truth. He'd made his decision, all right, but he wanted to give her time to get use to the idea first.
She smiled at her husband and went back to arranging the flowers. All three warriors continued to watch her. She caught Royce's shrug out of the corner of her eye. "I know how much this home means to you, wife. If possible, I'll---"
She finished his sentence for him. "Try to save the keep?"
He nodded. She shook her head. "You mustn't consider my feelings. This is your holding now, not mine. Do what you feel is best. Whatever you decide will be fine with me."
Thomas and Lawrence sighed. Royce frowned. His wife's easy acceptance bothered him.
"We'll discuss this later," he announced.
"If it will please you," she answered.
She was being too accommodating. He was immediately suspicious. He decided to put his wife's unusual behavior out of his mind for the rest of the day and focus his attention on training his soldiers.
Nicholaa continued to arrange the flowers so that she could hear her husband's plans for the day. She was hoping for a word about her brother.
Her patience was finally rewarded. Justin, Lawrence told Royce, was beginning to work within the unit. He still showed no allegiance to the others, but his hostility had lessened and he was giving his opinions more and more often. Lawrence thought that was a good start.
Royce agreed. He noticed how his wife was pulling and tugging on the flowers and took mercy on her. "Nicholaa, would you like to speak to your brother today?"
She almost knocked the vase over. "Oh, yes, I would like to," she answered in a rush. "I couldn't help overhearing your remarks about Justin getting along now, Lawrence. Is my brother also feeling well?"
The vassal smiled. "Yes, my lady, though in truth I haven't asked him," he admitted.
Nicholaa walked over to stand by her husband. She was looking at Lawrence. "You are training Justin, then?"
Royce gave his vassal permission to explain. "I've always been commander of the new soldiers," Lawrence said. "I do very little training in weapons and attack methods, however. My task is to strengthen their bodies. When I feel they're as fit as possible, then they'll move up into Royce's ranks."
"So that is why they are taking those heavy stones from one pile and putting them in another? It isn't punishment, after all?"
"Nicholaa, the soldiers aren't my enemies," Royce interjected, clearly exasperated. "We serve two purposes with that duty. Those men will build a new wall, much wider and taller than the old one, for I want a larger area in which to train," he explained. "And the work will strengthen the men." She nodded, letting him know she understood.
"When will I see Justin? Should I go down to the soldiers' quarters? Yes, I should," she answered in a rush. "I want to make certain Justin has enough blankets for the cold nights."
Royce tried not to laugh. He could just imagine the embarrassment Justin would feel if she tried to coddle him. "You may see him later. I'll send him to the courtyard."
Royce was as good as his word, of course. Nicholaa paced back and forth along the edge of the inner courtyard for what seemed like hours before she spotted her brother walking up the slope toward her. She started running to meet him. Tears came to her eyes, but she forced herself to stop that foolishness.
Nicholaa threw herself into Justin's arms and hugged him tight. How fit he looked! The color was back in his face, and when she finally pulled away and looked up into his eyes, she knew without a doubt that he was going to be all right.
She couldn't find her voice. She kissed his chin and finally let go of him.
"You look happy, sister," Justin announced, his voice gruff with emotion.
"I am happy," she answered. "Happy to see you."
"The baron treats you well?"
He was already beginning to frown when she answered him. "Oh, yes, very well," she said. "He's kind and patient with me."
His frown eased away. He actually laughed when she added that she was also being kind and patient with him.
"Are you getting enough to eat, Justin? Do you have enough blankets at night? Do you need anything?"
"I have enough," Justin answered. He turned and saw Ingelram and Bryan watching. Justin's voice was a bit more gruff when he said, "I'm not a boy, Nicholaa. Do not treat me as such."
She didn't realize they had an audience, nor did she see Royce coming up the slope toward them. Her gaze was fully directed on her brother's face. The sun had darkened his skin and lightened his blond hair. She hadn't realized what a handsome man Justin was becoming.
"Did you know Ulric left?" she asked.
Justin nodded. "The baron told me."
Nicholaa noticed that her brother's voice had taken on a hard edge. "You aren't concerned about Ulric, are you? He'll be well taken care of by Duncan and Millicent," she said.
"No, I'm not concerned," Justin answered. "Ulric will be happy with them."
"Then why are you frowning?" she asked.
"The baron told me Thurston came here. He shouldn't have."
Justin's voice was flat, devoid of emotion. Nicholaa didn't know what to make of that reaction.
Then Royce interrupted them. "Justin, you have one afternoon a week away from your duties. This isn't it. Say good-bye to your sister. Ingelram and Bryan are waiting."
Justin immediately separated himself from his sister and turned to bow to his baron. Nicholaa didn't want him to leave just yet. She reached out to detain him and noticed that his entire left arm was covered with black leather. Two wide loops from elbow to shoulder held the covering in place.
Royce also noticed the contraption. "What's this?" he asked. Justin turned back to his baron just as Bryan and Ingelram came forward. "Bryan made this for me," Justin muttered with a shrug, his gaze on the ground. Royce took hold of one of the two loops. "When you begin training with the Hawks, I'd advise you not to wear this," he announced.
"Would they jeer him, Baron?" Ingelram asked, frowning over that possibility.
Royce laughed. Lord, they were ignorant... and young. He twisted the loop until he had it firmly wedged between his fingers. He kept his gaze on Justin all the while. The boy's face was turning red. "They won't jeer him," he told Ingelram. "But they sure as hell will take advantage."
Royce tightened his hold until Justin could barely move. "Then they'll take their sweet time as they beat some sense into Justin for wearing such a contraption."
Nicholaa was horrified when her husband laughed at Justin. She didn't interfere, though, and when the full explanation had been given, even she realized that the leather covering wasn't a protection but a weapon that could be used against her brother.
Justin understood, too. As soon as Royce let go, her brother took the covering off.
"You've been excused," Royce told the three soldiers.
In unison they bowed to their baron and turned to leave. Justin walked between Bryan and Ingelram. Nicholaa stood next to Royce as she watched her brother walk down the first slope.
She didn't realize she'd taken her husband's hand. He could feel her trembling. He squeezed. "Do you feel better now that you've spoken to Justin?"
She kept her gaze on her brother's back. "Yes."
Then Ingelram's voice reached her. The young soldier obviously thought he was far enough away not to be overheard. "Are you getting enough to eat?" he drawled out in a horrible imitation of a woman's high-pitched voice.
Bryan immediately joined in. "Would you like my blanket tonight, Justin?"
Nicholaa's brother retaliated by shoving Ingelram with his left shoulder and trying to trip Bryan with his right foot.
Both Ingelram and Bryan were laughing, and---miracle of miracles---Justin joined in.
Royce forced himself not to laugh. He didn't want to hurt Nicholaa's feelings. He turned to look down at her and found her smiling.
"I was coddling him like a mother," she admitted. "He laughed, Royce, didn't he? I haven't heard his laughter in so long I'd forgotten. Thank you, husband."
He wasn't sure why she thanked him, but she suddenly threw herself into his arms and kissed him; His wife did lose a bit of her smile when he announced that she wouldn't be able to talk to Justin again until the first phase of his training was completed, in approximately sixty days. She didn't argue with him. Royce thought that was a nice change.
He didn't see his wife again until the dinner hour. She sat beside him at the table, but as soon as the meal was finished and he and Lawrence began to discuss their plans for the following day, Nicholaa excused herself from the table with the request that she be allowed to go up to the chamber.
That routine became the standard. A full two months passed in a peaceful, organized manner. There wasn't one outburst of anger, one surprise to put him on his guard, or one argument. Royce should have been pleased with this remarkable turnaround. He wasn't, though. Nicholaa hadn't lost her temper in almost sixty days. If she became any more serene, he thought he'd have to start checking to make certain the woman was still breathing.
Her attitude frustrated the hell out of him. She granted his every wish. Even before he realized he wanted something, she was there giving it to him.
Her passionate nature asserted itself only when they were in bed together and he was touching her. She couldn't act serene then. Royce was thankful for that blessing, but he wanted more. God's truth, he wanted his impossible wife back.
He missed her glares when she wasn't getting her way. He missed their arguments, too, especially the ones he couldn't possibly win because she was so stubbornly illogical. But most of all, he missed lecturing her.
Nicholaa wore a smile from the time she got out of the bed in the morning until she closed her eyes at night. It seemed to be a permanent condition, and it was making him daft. She couldn't be that happy. No one could be that happy. The sparkle was missing from her eyes, too. She didn't laugh, either.
But then, laughter was spontaneous, wasn't it? And Nicholaa didn't do anything spontaneous anymore.
God help him, he'd done this to her. He took full blame for the change in her. He was getting exactly what he'd set out to get. The problem was finding a way to undo the damage. He considered one plan after another, but none seemed acceptable. Then Justin solved his problem for him---rather nicely, too. It was mid-June. Royce was in the lower bailey supervising the training of the experienced soldiers. Lawrence, who commanded the Doves, rarely requested Royce's assistance.
Today proved to be an exception however. Lawrence called Royce down to the lower hill, and when his baron reached his side, the vassal motioned for Ingelram and Bryan to begin sparring.
Justin stood to one side, waiting his turn.
"Those three have become fast friends," Lawrence remarked. "I'm pleased with Justin's progress on the whole. You can see he's regained the weight he lost, added a bit more bulk, too. Swinging a sword and lifting stones have added to his muscle. Aye, he's coming along nicely."
Ingelram knocked Bryan to the ground, let out a shout of victory, then turned to Justin. Bryan rolled out of the way as Justin swaggered forward. Ingelram and Justin put on quite a show for their baron. Several other soldiers formed a wide circle to watch.
The longer Royce observed, the more he frowned. "Tell me this, Lawrence," he asked. "Is Ingelram sparring with Justin or dancing with him?"
"Exactly," Lawrence muttered. "That's why I wanted you to watch, Baron. No matter which man I pair with Justin, the result is always the same. I don't think they do it on purpose, but the men soften their attack when I pit them against the boy."
Royce nodded. He let out a shrill whistle, drawing everyone's attention. Justin was still a bit wary of his baron. He'd been grinning while he battled his friend, but his expression was contained when he turned to Royce.
"I'm in the mood to knock a few of you on your backsides," Royce announced. "Who wants this privilege?"
It was a rare honor their baron bestowed upon the younger soldiers, and each was eager to be the first to take on the challenge.
Yet while the soldiers rushed forward, Royce noticed they also tried to keep Justin at the back of the line. Even now they were trying to protect him. Their friendship for Nicholaa's brother could very well get him killed.
Justin wasn't about to be left out, though. He shouldered his way to the front of the group.
"How many will get this opportunity, Baron?" Justin called out.
The others now lined up behind him, with Ingelram and Bryan flanking him. Justin was acting as their spokesman, and Royce was so pleased with this turn of events that he almost laughed. Lawrence had kept Royce informed of Justin's progress, of course, but seeing the boy now standing so tall and proud still took him by surprise. It warmed his heart, too.
"I'll only waste enough of my valuable time to fight four of you," Royce drawled. "Since you've taken it upon yourself to speak for the unit, you'll be one of those four. Pick the other three, Justin, and then put yourself last, as befits a leader."
Justin nodded. He started to turn to his friends, then stopped. "And if one of us knocks you on your backside, Baron?"
Royce did laugh then. "He will be suitably rewarded."
Justin smiled. A conference was immediately called. Royce and Lawrence stood by while the soldiers decided among themselves who the other three would be.
"You've done well," Royce told Lawrence in a low whisper. "His body's strong now."
"He's ready to train," Lawrence replied. "So are the others, Royce."
The decision was finally reached among the Doves. A redheaded soldier by the name of Merrill strutted forward. He bowed first to Royce, then to Lawrence.
Royce took a step forward. "We won't use weapons," he decreed.
Merrill immediately unstrapped the sheath from his side and handed the sword and covering to Justin. Then he turned back to his baron. "I'm ready, my lord."
Royce laughed again. "Nay, you're not ready," he said. "Perhaps after three months of training with me, you will be ready, but not today, Merrill."
He beckoned with one hand for Merrill to attack. The soldier slowly circled his baron. Royce didn't move at all, even when Merrill had worked his way around him.
Merrill positioned himself behind his baron and finally attacked, intending to grab his lord by his neck and wrestle him to the ground.
Royce waited until he felt Merrill's touch, then twisted and, with one hand, lifted the soldier off his feet, flung him over his shoulder, and dropped him on the ground. Merrill landed with a grunt on his backside.
"You gave me too much time to think about what you were going to do, Merrill," Royce instructed. "If you want to surprise your adversary by sneaking up behind him, do so with speed. Do you understand?" Merrill nodded. Royce reached down, offering his hand to the soldier. Merrill grabbed hold and was hauled back to his feet. "Next," Royce ordered. Bryan moved forward. He'd already removed his sword. He swung at his baron with his left fist. If the blow had connected, it would have flattened an ordinary man. Royce wasn't ordinary, though, but Bryan didn't remember that fact soon enough. The baron easily caught hold of the soldier's fist with one hand and held on.
"Now what, Bryan?" he asked.
Bryan's hand throbbed. He felt as though he'd just rammed it into a stone wall. He grimaced against the pain, then tried to strike Royce with his other fist. Royce deflected the blow and sent Bryan flying to the ground.
"Again you allowed me to have the advantage," he explained to the group. "Use whatever method works. Bryan, you have feet. Use them."
"Yes, Baron."
A third soldier hurried into the center of the circle. His name was Howard, and he proved to be a bit more cunning than the first two. Royce had to knock him down twice before he landed on his backside.
And then it was Justin's turn. Royce stared at him a long minute before giving him the order to begin.
"What have you learned from the first three challengers?"
"I've learned to use my feet and my fist," Justin answered. "And to use any method, fair or foul, to get you to the ground, Baron."
Royce nodded. "Then my time hasn't been wasted," he announced. His gaze moved over the entire group. "Lawrence has given you tasks to strengthen your bodies, but now the time has come for you to learn how to use your heads. In battle, strength without cunning means nothing. Tomorrow you will begin training with the experienced knights."
A loud cheer went up. The soldiers had officially completed the first phase of their training. It was time to celebrate.
Royce smiled. The soldiers wouldn't be cheering tomorrow night. Nay, by then every inch of their bodies would be screaming in agony, for the first full day of training with the seasoned warriors would be the most difficult day of their lives.
Nicholaa was coming down the first slope when she heard the shouts. Curious, she quickened her stride until she reached the bottom. She saw the crowd circling Justin and her husband then.
She tried not to be worried. Then Justin threw himself at Royce, and she almost cried out. Her brother had feigned the attack; he twisted away at the last possible minute and tried to kick Royce in the backs of his legs.
Royce deflected the blow and clipped Justin between his shoulder blades with the back of his hand. Nicholaa's brother staggered forward, quickly recovered, and then launched yet another attack.
Quite by accident, Justin got in one solid punch. His fist connected with Royce's jaw approximately five seconds after his baron noticed Nicholaa was observing the scene.
Royce instinctively struck back, knocking Justin to the ground. He moved forward, put his foot on Justin's chest to keep him down, then gave the soldier a most bizarre command.
"Smile, Justin."
"What?" Justin gasped, trying to regain his breath.
"I said smile," Royce told him in a furious whisper. "Now, damn it."
Justin smiled.
Nicholaa desperately tried not to interfere. But the sight of her brother sprawled on the ground, added to the fact that all the other soldiers were grinning, did made her forget her vow.
Justin's face was turned away from her. For that reason, she didn't see his smile.
"Royce, my brother has only one hand."
God help her, she hadn't meant to shout that reminder.
"But I have two," Royce called out.
Nicholaa had rushed forward, but she came to an abrupt stop when Royce shouted that cruel remark.
She stared at Royce. He winked at her. Then Justin turned to her. He started laughing. She took a step back, stopped, shook her head, and finally turned around and walked back up the hill.
Royce let out a sigh. He knew she didn't understand. He moved away from Justin and offered him his hand. Justin grabbed hold and was pulled to his feet.
"You've done well," he told Justin. "As a reward for striking me, you and the other three will join me for dinner."
Justin grinned. His cheeks were red when he moved back to stand with the other soldiers. Royce didn't know if the coloring was from exertion or his praise.
Royce clasped his hands behind his back and stared at the group. "I have one last thing to say to you. You have all become friends, and that is as it should be, but when you fight with one another, you will give it your total concentration. You will not make allowances for anyone, for any reason. What you may perceive as kindness or protectiveness could very well get your friend killed in a real battle."
They all knew what he was talking about, Royce was sure of that. He addressed his next remarks to Justin. "In battle no allowances will be given because you have but one hand. For that reason, you can't be as good as the others. You have to be better."
Justin nodded. "Baron, when will I know I'm ready?"
Royce smiled. "You'll just know, Justin. No one will have to tell you."
Lawrence stepped forward. "To celebrate the beginning of your training with the Hawks, perhaps our baron will let you watch a game of kickball."
Royce nodded. King William frowned on the game, for he felt it took away from the knights' primary responsibility of training for his army. Royce occasionally made an exception simply because he loved to play the brutal game. The objective was to move the leather-covered ball from one end of the field to the other. There was only one rule: the knights couldn't use their hands. The game always turned bloody, of course, which was yet another reason everyone loved to play.
"You'll lead one team, Lawrence, and I'll take the other," Royce announced. "We'll start as soon as I've talked to Nicholaa."
He and Lawrence turned to leave. Ingelram nudged Justin, and then the two of them hurried forward to block their baron's path.
"Baron, why must we watch?" Ingelram blurted out.
Royce raised an eyebrow over that question. Then he shrugged. "You don't have to watch if you don't want to," he answered. "You're free to do whatever you want this afternoon."
"What Ingelram means to say, Baron," Justin explained, "is that we don't want to watch; we want to play. We have enough men for a team of our own, and we would welcome the opportunity to defeat the Hawks."
"They'd be insulted if we made them play against Doves," Lawrence interjected.
Justin grinned. "Not if you and the baron joined our team."
Royce laughed. "That's up to your commander," he announced with a nod in Lawrence's direction.
His vassal was in the mood to be accommodating. He gave the unit permission. The soldiers immediately rushed toward the area they would use for their field. They were already planning their strategy.
"Did you notice?" Lawrence asked Royce when they were alone.
"Notice what?"
"Justin has not only become their spokesman," he explained. "He also considers himself one of them now. Don't you remember how he was when he first started? Everything was theirs, not his. A good change in attitude, wouldn't you say?"
It was a simple statement, but Royce reacted as though he'd just been struck. Hell, he thought to himself, he'd been acting just like Justin. From the beginning the holding was his, not Nicholaa's; the servants belonged to him, not her... and after a time she'd finally conceded.
He slapped Lawrence on the shoulder. "You've made me realize an error," he told his vassal. "Thank you."
Royce didn't give his vassal further explanation. He would go up to the keep to make certain Nicholaa wasn't too upset by what she'd seen, but after supper he'd sit her down and explain the changes he wanted. He wouldn't lecture her. No, no, he never lectured. He wouldn't stop talking, though, until he was certain she understood.
His wife had fully recovered from her initial reaction to seeing Justin fight with Royce. Her brother's wonderful smile still lingered in her mind. She had rushed inside the keep and hurried up the steps. She wanted to get to the bedchamber before she deliberately and blatantly broke rule number three.
Aye, she was going to weep. They would be tears of joy, but Royce wouldn't understand that if he happened to catch her.
"Where are you going, my lady?" Clarise called out to her. "I've a question to ask you about supper."
"Not now, please," Nicholaa called back. "I'll be back down in a few minutes. You may ask me then." Clarise didn't want to wait. Cook was already peevish, and Clarise didn't want the woman's mood to sour any more than it already had. If that happened, everyone would suffer because supper would be ruined.
The servant rushed toward the steps and stopped Nicholaa just as she reached the landing. "It won't take but a minute of your time," she called out. "Cook wants to know if she should prepare the sweet berry tarts or the sugared apples. You won't be getting either unless you let her know right away," she warned.
Nicholaa leaned one hip against the railing while she considered her options. "I believe we'll celebrate tonight. Have Cook prepare both."
Nicholaa turned to go down the corridor, just as the wood and the railing gave way.
Clarise screamed. Nicholaa didn't have time to do more than gasp in surprise. She grabbed hold of a ledge as she started to fall and held on for dear life.
The railing crashed to the floor below. Wood splintered in every direction. Clarise jumped back to get out of the way. She finally quit screaming, though, and went to help her mistress. "Dear God above, hold tight. I'm coming up to help you. Don't look down, milady. You'll only panic if you do."
"No, don't come up here," Nicholaa shouted. "You'll fall through. Get my husband. Hurry, please. I can't hold on much longer."
The servant immediately changed directions. She'd just reached the double doors when they were flung open and Royce strode inside.
Clarise didn't have to explain. Royce took it all in at once, the splintered wood scattered on the floor in front of him, a pair of feet dangling above. His heart almost failed him. He rushed forward to position himself below Nicholaa.
"What in God's name are you doing?"
His roar actually calmed her. Then his outrageous question penetrated her mind. God's truth, she almost laughed. "What do you think I'm doing?" she called out. "I'm hanging from the ledge, you daft man."
Royce heard the threat of amusement in her voice, then decided that wasn't possible. His wife had to be terrified.
"Let go, Nicholaa, and bend your knees. I'll catch you," he said in a calm, reasonable voice.
"Yes, Royce."
"Let go now, sweetheart."
Nicholaa was so surprised by the endearment that she forgot to worry. She let go and simply waited for her husband to catch her.
He barely buckled under the weight as he caught her in his arms and held her close. Then he backed up several steps as a precaution against more of the wood crashing down on top of the two of them.
He was shaking by the time he'd carried his wife into the great hall. Her near disaster had left him reeling. She could have broken her neck.
"You will not go upstairs again, Nicholaa. Do you hear me?"
He was squeezing bruises into her arms when he issued that command. She would have given him her agreement immediately, but then he distracted her by kicking a stool out of his path. He sat down in a high-backed chair near the hearth and took several deep breaths. Nicholaa realized then how upset her husband was. Since he hadn't raised his voice, his distress was a bit of a revelation to her. "You were worried about me?" she asked.
He scowled to let her know how foolish he thought that question was. "I'm going to have everything moved down here before this day is over. Don't you dare argue with me, Nicholaa. My mind's made up. You will not go abovestairs again."
She nodded. "You were worried."
"Yes."
One word, spoken in a harsh, clipped voice that absolutely thrilled her. He did care about her. His heart was slamming inside his chest, another telling indication. She heard it loud and clear when he roughly pressed her head against his chest.
The man really needed to calm down, she decided. The danger was over now. Nicholaa decided to turn his attention a bit.
"Royce, you really should tear your home down and build another one. I wonder why you hesitate."
He suddenly wanted to throttle her. "It isn't my home, and it isn't yours," he announced, carefully enunciating each word.
"Then whose is it?" she asked, thoroughly confused.
He lifted her off his lap and stood up. "Ours," he snapped. "Everything is ours, wife---not mine, not yours, but ours. Got that?"
She nodded. Damn, he never wanted to have another scare like that for the rest of his life. He roughly grabbed her shoulders and kissed her. Then he turned and walked out of the hall.
The need to pound his fists into something solid nearly overwhelmed him. A game of ball was just what he needed now. Once he'd knocked a few of his soldiers to the ground, perhaps he'd feel better. Then he walked past the pieces of the railing and knew that hitting a few men wouldn't be enough. He'd have to fell the whole contingent.
Nicholaa wasn't sure what had just happened. She thought it might be significant, this change in her husband's attitude about ownership, but he'd acted so furious that he'd only confused her all the more.
Not ten minutes later a group of soldiers came inside. Within an hour they had emptied the upstairs. They placed Royce's bed in the corner of the great hall, though only after Thomas had checked to make certain the floor would support the weight. They placed Nicholaa's chest next to the headboard. The men took the rest of the furniture outside. Thomas stood by Nicholaa's side, watching. He explained that everything would be stored in huts until the baron made further decisions.
Nicholaa was disheartened over the lack of privacy.
She asked Thomas if it was possible to fashion a screen around the bed, and he promised to accomplish that task before the day was over.
The soldier kept his word, too. Sturdy screens, made of panels of flat brown wood, were positioned around the corner.
Nicholaa didn't see Royce again until dinner. She was given quite a surprise when Justin and three other young soldiers walked into the hall right behind her husband. She was so pleased to see her brother again that she almost made a scene. She ran to hug her brother, but Royce intercepted her. He anchored her to his side by putting his arm around her shoulders.
When she got a good look at her brother, she was appalled by his condition. Justin's face was covered with cuts and bruises. Then she noticed that the other soldiers were in much the same shape.
Royce and Lawrence had a fair number of nicks and bruises, too. It took Nicholaa a good ten minutes to get a straight answer to how the men had come by the injuries. It took her even longer to accept the explanation that it had only been a game.
She tried not to pamper Justin during supper. She knew that would embarrass him. She also tried to pretend she was enjoying their stories of the brutal game they had played.
The four young soldiers, Justin included, ate like starving men, and when they weren't devouring the food, they were nudging one another and boasting.
They smiled, too. So did Justin. Real smiles. She looked at the four men. They were all quite alike, and Justin was just one of them now. He fit in. Aye, he belonged.
Oh, God, she was going to break that damn rule number three again if she didn't get hold of herself.
The soldiers would never understand if she suddenly burst into tears. Royce wouldn't understand, either.
She needed to get out of the hall before she disgraced herself. Fortunately the men were so absorbed in recounting their moments of glory that they hardly noticed when she left them to their victories and went outside. She circled the courtyard, then walked down to the lower bailey.
There was so much to be thankful for. God had taken such good care of her when he'd sent Royce to her.
Justin now had a future. Royce had given him that. Yes, there was much to be thankful for. She smiled then. If someone had dared to tell her a year ago that she would one day be hopelessly in love with a Norman, she would have been highly insulted. Now she felt blessed.
Royce cared about her, too. And that was enough for her. She would continue to be just the kind of wife he wanted. It was the least she could do to repay his kindness and his patience.
Nicholaa finished weeping and walked back up the hill. She spotted her husband when she reached the crest of the courtyard. Royce was standing on the top step watching her.
In the moonlight he resembled a giant statue. She stopped in the center of the courtyard. "I'm supposed to stand here with our children," she said, "and wait for your return."
"You are?"
"My mother always did." She took a step closer.
"Was this a specific duty?"
"Just a habit," she answered. "One my father liked."
"What other habits did they have?"
She took another step toward him. "After supper every night they would play chess."
"Then we will do the same," he announced.
"But after dinner you always discuss the next day's plans with your soldiers," she reminded him.
"I'll do that before dinner," he answered. "You and I will play chess together after."
"Why would you adopt this habit?"
"Traditions should be continued, or so my wife told me on our wedding night when she was trying to get me to kiss her."
She smiled again. "Your wife now admits that was her true motive."
He nodded. His expression turned serious. "I would like you to admit something else to me," he said, his voice gruff. "Admit you love me, Nicholaa. I would like to hear you say the words."
Her eyes immediately filled with tears. She bowed her head so he wouldn't see how upset she was. "I do not wish to become a burden to you."
Royce went to his wife. He gathered her into his arms and held her tight. "Telling me you love me will make you a burden to me?" he asked, certain he couldn't have heard correctly.
"Yes."
He laughed then, a full, rich sound that filled the air around them. "You aren't ever going to make sense to me, are you?"
"I do love you."
He hadn't realized until she gave him the words how much he really needed to hear them. It was a miracle, this precious gift. He was humbled by it. A part of him, the thoroughly logical part, couldn't understand how she could possibly love him.
She was his miracle. His face was grossly disfigured by scars, but she noticed only the silver flecks in what she called his handsome eyes. He'd always thought of himself as big, awkward, but she praised him because he was so wonderfully tall and strong. Nicholaa seemed blind to the truth, and he would thank God for that flaw for the rest of his life.
He hadn't said a word to her. She'd waited, hoping, praying, but he hadn't given her the words she so desperately needed to hear.
"Sweetheart, tell me why you think you're a burden?"
She burst into tears. "Because you had no choice about marrying me."
He couldn't quit smiling. He tucked her head under his chin so she wouldn't see his expression. He didn't want her to think he was laughing at her. He didn't want her to notice how misty his eyes were, either. But damn, the joy inside him was suddenly overwhelming.
"Ah, the choice," he whispered. "You've been worrying about that for a long while, haven't you?"
She bumped his chin when she nodded.
"Nicholaa, hasn't it occurred to you that I could have left the hall before you made your choice?"
"No, you couldn't have left," she whispered. "Only the married knights could leave. You didn't qualify."
He tried a different approach. "I could have said no to you."
"No, you couldn't have," she argued. "You're too honorable. You felt responsible for me."
"You have it all figured out, don't you? Nothing I can say will change your mind?"
"Such as?"
"I'd already made up my mind to challenge for you? I never would have allowed anyone else to have you, Nicholaa."
"You're just being kind to me, Royce. You're always kind and patient with everyone."
He kissed the top of her head. He didn't know how to convince her he would have chosen her. He had made up his mind to challenge for her hand in marriage for the simple reason that he couldn't stand the thought of anyone else touching her.
She belonged to him. He'd gotten used to her by the time they reached London. He was possessive by nature. Surely that was the reason he didn't want to let her go.
This loving business was confusing to him, though. Royce didn't even know if he was capable of loving her the way a husband should love a wife. He felt completely inadequate, unprepared.
It wouldn't be enough to tell her he felt content with her by his side. No, nothing he could say would convince her that, in his own way, he did care for her.
He decided he wouldn't say anything. He'd find a way to show her instead.
That was easier decided than accomplished. No matter how much thought he put into the task, Royce couldn't come up with a single plan to convince his wife he would have chosen her. It didn't stop him from trying, however.
It was maddening not to be able to make her believe him, but it was no more maddening than his wife's perpetual smile. If he hadn't been so happy she'd finally spoken the words he wanted to hear, he would have been in complete despair.
He tried praising her. She praised him back. He kissed her whenever he got the chance. She eagerly kissed him back. It was the only time she wasn't wearing that serene smile, because his mouth was covering hers.
He even played chess with her. He was going to let her win, until he realized she already was winning; then he changed his mind. The game lasted into the early hours of the morning, and in the end, he didn't let her win at all.
She did that all by herself.
Afterward, while he was still reeling from his first defeat in years, she promised to let him win next time. It got worse before it got better. It was late morning on a hot Monday when Royce came into the hall with Lawrence at his side. He noticed the fire blazing in the hearth right away. He felt as though he had walked into a furnace. Sweat dripped from his brow before he'd crossed to the buttery where his wife was busy working.
"Nicholaa, it's hot as purgatory in here," he announced. "Was there a particular reason for starting a fire?"
She turned to smile at her husband. She was waving a square linen cloth in front of her face. She used the linen to mop her husband's brow while she explained. "You invited six additional soldiers to supper, and Cook needed the extra fire to prepare all the meat. I appreciate how pleasant you're being, husband."
When she'd finished wiping her husband's forehead, she turned the cloth inside out and mopped Lawrence's brow. Surprised, he backed away. She followed him, finished her task, and then suggested they both go back outside.
Royce and Lawrence turned to do just that. They'd reached the center of the great hall when Baron Guy's two inseparable vassals, Morgan and Henry, came inside.
Nicholaa decided to block open the front doors to allow a breeze inside. She walked out of the buttery just as Morgan was boasting.
"Our baron has brought a full contingent of men with him to hunt down the last of the resisters. He's vowed to slaughter the lot before a fortnight has passed."
Nicholaa's face paled, but she kept her expression contained. Royce knew she was thinking about Thurston. Morgan followed Royce's gaze, spotted Nicholaa, and immediately bowed.
She didn't acknowledge the greeting. She simply stared at the vassal and waited to hear what else he had to say.
"It's our understanding that the leader of these resisters is your brother, Lady Nicholaa," Henry announced. "Is that true?"
"Perhaps," she answered.
Morgan grinned. "Then we should give you our condolences now," he said. "Our baron is a compassionate man. I'm sure he'll drop your brother's body here on his way back to London so you can give him a proper burial."
Royce's fist came down on the table. "Enough," he ordered. "Tell me what message you bring and get out."
Henry had never seen Baron Royce lose his composure. The flash of temper stunned him. Morgan didn't seem worried at all. He was occupied scowling at Nicholaa.
She smiled back. "I forgive you your poor manners," she said in a calm voice. "Jealousy makes you act that way."
Morgan opened his mouth to protest.
She raised her hand for silence. The look on her face showed her disdain. She took a step toward the knight. Morgan backed up nearly into the fireplace.
"You heard my husband's command. Tell him why you're here and then get out."
Morgan was too furious to see the duty done. He nodded to Henry, then turned to look at the fire. He noticed the chess pieces lined up on the mantel and absentmindedly took one into his hand to get a better look. He wasn't paying attention to what he was doing, though, for he was listening to Henry's message from the king as well.
"King William sends his greetings and his request for you to choose ten of your best men to engage in a celebration of games six weeks hence. You're also to select ten new soldiers because our overlord believes they should be allowed to join in the festivities. The king has one additional request," Henry muttered.
Royce folded his arms across his chest and scowled with impatience as he waited for Henry to finish.
"Baron Royce is waiting to hear the rest," Lawrence snapped.
Henry nodded. "Our king wants it known that he and his beloved wife insist Lady Nicholaa attend the celebration. She has won their affections, and they wish to see her again." The vassal sounded as though he was gargling with vinegar.
Nicholaa would have laughed if she hadn't been so worried about the chess piece Morgan was holding. She didn't dare order him to put the piece back for fear he'd realize the importance to her and deliberately destroy it.
Henry bowed to Royce, then walked toward Nicholaa. "Perhaps then, my lady, we will see who is first and who is second."
"But we already know that, don't we?" she asked.
Nicholaa couldn't stand still a minute longer. Watching Morgan fondling the chess piece was too upsetting. She walked over to the entrance. "Lawrence, please see the soldiers out. My husband did want them to leave right away."
Morgan turned to Royce. "We plan to crush your soldiers," he boasted. "We won't be defeated this time."
To emphasize his boast, he snapped the head off the chess piece, then tossed the black queen into the fire.
Until that minute Royce hadn't realized Morgan was holding the piece. He'd been watching Nicholaa. He saw the look of anguish on her face and then saw the chess piece destroyed.
He let out a roar of fury. Morgan turned, surprised, as Royce moved like a bolt of lightning. It all happened too quickly for Nicholaa to react. One minute Morgan was standing there looking smug and arrogant, and the next he was sailing through the air like a disk.
Royce threw the big man a fair distance. Morgan went hurling past the table, then past the screen. He should have landed against the front wall. He didn't, though. He went through it. Nicholaa guessed the wall was riddled with rotten wood, too.
A gaping hole the size of a man's doubled-over body appeared in the very center of the wall, giving them a rather pleasant view of the courtyard beyond.
Nicholaa clasped a hand over her mouth in astonishment. She could see through the hole that Morgan was already staggering to his feet. Royce hadn't killed him. Henry came rushing towards her. He was obviously not going to give his friend assistance. Morgan couldn't seem to stand up straight. He kept falling back to his knees. She guessed he was a little dizzy.
She tried, but she couldn't stop herself from smiling. Henry noticed. He was so furious he was shaking. He stopped when he reached her side. "You chose the wrong baron to wed," he snarled.
Henry might have been able to control his anger if Nicholaa hadn't laughed. He wanted to strike her. Yet even in his rage he knew Royce would kill him if he touched Nicholaa. Still, the desire to rid her of her smile overwhelmed his caution. He tried to frighten her with words instead. "You'll be widowed before the games are finished," he muttered. "You really should have listened to the old hag and killed Royce when you had the chance. You would have saved us the trouble."
Nicholaa wouldn't let him bait her into losing her temper. Henry sounded like a little boy who hadn't gotten his way.
She shook her head. "Do leave, Henry. You're beginning to irritate me."
She didn't waste another minute on the stupid man. Royce was her main concern now. Lord, she'd never seen him lose his control this thoroughly. It was a little unnerving. He didn't seem to be finished with Morgan, either. When he turned and started for the doorway and she got a good look at the scowl on his face, she knew she'd have to interfere. She didn't want him to kill Morgan. The soldier's death wouldn't be worth the explanation Royce would have to give the king. Besides, she didn't want Morgan's body buried on their land.
Royce had almost reached her when she blurted out, "We have a lovely breeze now, husband. Thank you."
He nodded, passed her, then suddenly stopped. He turned around. "What did you just say?"
"I thanked you for the window."
Lawrence started to laugh. Nicholaa smiled. Royce closed his eyes and let out a loud sigh. "I'm not going to kill the bastard," he announced.
"No, of course not," she agreed. "The chess piece is gone. Killing Morgan won't change that."
"I just wanted to break a leg or two, Nicholaa."
He'd sounded so reasonable when he confessed that plan to her. He grinned, too.
"Nothing will be gained by breaking his legs."
"I'll gain immense satisfaction," he countered.
She shook her head.
He scowled. Then he gave up. The woman had her mind set on getting her way. He wouldn't disappoint her. He glanced at the fire, then back to Nicholaa. "Sweetheart, which piece was it?"
"The black queen."
His shoulders slumped. That was the piece her father had made a nick in while laughing over one of his stories.
Royce felt responsible for the disaster. He should have been watching Morgan's every move. He could have prevented the destruction if he'd been paying more attention.
He roughly pulled Nicholaa into his arms. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "It's my fault. I should have---"
She didn't let him finish. "It happened too quickly for you to prevent it." She patted his chest and kissed his chin. "Don't frown so. It's over and done."
He couldn't believe she was soothing him. "You're taking this loss remarkably well," he told her.
Nicholaa kept right on smiling. It took her a good five minutes to get him to leave the hall. She stood in the open doorway until Royce and Lawrence had crossed the courtyard.
"Is Nicholaa still standing there?" Royce asked Lawrence.
The vassal turned around to look. "No, Baron.
She's gone."
Royce immediately changed directions. "I've a suspicious nature," he told his vassal. "My wife took Morgan's treachery rather well, wouldn't you say?"
"Yes, she did."
Royce smiled. "A little too well, I think. He rounded the corner and went to the ladder leading to the walkway near the top of the wall. Then he leaned against the slats and waited.
He didn't have to stand there very long. Nicholaa came flying around the corner, her skirts raised above her ankles to quicken her speed. She came to an abrupt stop when she spotted her husband lounging against the ladder.
Nicholaa hid her hands behind her back and smiled sweetly at her husband. He smiled back. He didn't take his gaze off his wife when he ordered Lawrence to return to his duties, and as soon as the vassal had walked away, he motioned Nicholaa closer with the crook of his finger.
Royce waited until she was standing directly in front of him. Then he put his hand out.
She lost her smile and backed up a step.
"Fair's fair, Nicholaa," he announced. "If I can't hurt him, neither can you. Give it to me."
She looked thoroughly disgruntled. "How did you know?"
He touched the mark on his forehead. "I used logic."
She put the leather sling in his outstretched hand. She dropped the two stones on the ground.
"You thought you might miss with the first stone?" he asked.
She shook her head. "I never miss. The other was for Henry."
He started laughing. She didn't know what to make of that. She took another step back.
"I've taken you away from your duties long enough," she announced. Her disappointment over not being able to give Morgan and Henry a proper send-off still chafed. She wanted to shout at her husband because he wouldn't let her have her way. She stared at the sling dangling from his fingers, took a deep breath, and then said, "I shall try to keep my temper under control."
"Does that mean you'll smile even more often?"
"Yes."
"God help me."
Her gaze flew to his. "He already helped me," she whispered. "He gave me you."
She always took him by surprise when she said such incredibly wonderful things to him. He pulled away from the ladder, took hold of his wife's hand, and started walking toward the castle.
They walked side by side without saying a word to each other. She thought he was taking her back to the great hall so he could sit her down and lecture her.
Yet when they reached the table and the chairs, he didn't let go of her hand. He just continued tugging her along toward the screens that hid their bed.
He stopped to look out the hole he'd made with Morgan's body, then turned to wink at Nicholaa. "Nice view, isn't it?"
"Royce, where are you taking me?"
"To bed."
"Now?"
"Now."
"Royce, this isn't like you," she blurted out. "You never stray from your plans for the day. It's... disorganized."
She'd sounded appalled. He pulled her into his arms. "Spontaneous actions are just as important as planned ones, wife. You really should leave a little room in your life for surprises."
"I must learn---"
He wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her off the floor. His mouth came down on hers just as she was putting her arms around his neck.
Ingelram, Justin, and their commander, Lawrence, were passing the hole in the front wall. They were all given quite a surprise at seeing their baron kissing his wife.
Lawrence smiled. Ingelram nudged Justin in his ribs and let out a hoot of laughter. Justin took the longest to react. He turned to his commander, caught his grin, and then said, "My sister must love her husband."
Lawrence nodded. "Her husband loves her just as much."
Justin smiled. He wasn't going to worry about his sister any longer. She'd found her place in this new Norman world, just as he had.
Ingelram nudged him again. Justin immediately turned his attention to tripping his friend.
Lawrence grabbed both soldiers by the nape of the neck and shoved them forward. His baron obviously wanted privacy, and Lawrence was going to see that he got it.
Royce gathered the soldiers together and told them about the message from King William. Although every man present wanted to be one of the twenty chosen for the battle games, none dared ask for the honor. They knew they would have to wait until he was ready to tell them.
The next evening during dinner Nicholaa noticed several cuts on her husband's hands. She asked him about the nicks, but he only shrugged and changed the subject. She thought he didn't remember how he'd come by the cuts.
Royce looked exhausted. He was too tired to play chess after the table was cleared. He wasn't too tired to make love to her, though.
She awakened in the middle of the night. She moved toward Royce and nearly slid off his side of the bed before she realized he wasn't there.
She put on her robe and went to find her husband. She didn't have to go far. Royce was sitting at the head of the table concentrating so hard on what he was doing that he didn't notice her.
Royce had a small block of wood in his hands. In the flickering candlelight she could see the white queen on the table in front of him. Royce held the block of wood near the bottom in his left hand. He held a small knife in his other hand and was hard at work carving away slivers from the top. He would occasionally look up at the queen, then turn back to the block of wood.
He was making another black queen for her.
She understood then where all the cuts had come from. She understood why her husband looked so exhausted, too. But most of all, she understood something else: Royce loved her.
Nicholaa didn't move for a long while. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she watched her husband. She smiled each time he muttered an expletive, for she knew he'd nicked his hand again.
She heard the door open and immediately moved back behind the screen. She peeked around the corner and saw Justin striding toward Royce. Her brother held a small dagger in his hand.
Royce didn't even look up. Nicholaa guessed he'd been expecting Justin. Her brother looked just as haggard as Royce did. Had he been staying up each night to help with this project?
"This was my father's knife," Justin whispered. "It should work much better, Baron."
Justin sat down on the stool next to Royce. He put the knife down and then took hold of the base of the wooden block. Justin wore a strip of black leather over his hand. When Nicholaa saw the way Royce was awkwardly cutting with the knife, she realized the leather was a necessary precaution.
Nicholaa wiped the tears away from her eyes and quietly walked over to join the two men she loved with all her heart.
"Nicholaa's going to be surprised," Justin whispered.
"I hope she's pleased," Royce whispered back.
"I'm both surprised and pleased," Nicholaa whispered.
Her brother jumped at the sound of her voice. Royce flinched. He nicked the neck of the barely formed statue. "Now look what you've made me do, wife," Royce grumbled.
She leaned over her husband's shoulder to see the damage. She started laughing then. It was the most lopsided, ill-fashioned chess piece she'd ever seen. The head was bigger than the body, and the neck was thrice the size of the white queen's.
She loved it. Especially the hole in the side of the neck. She leaned down to kiss her husband, then sat down opposite the men.
"You must remember that nick, husband, so you can tell our children how it happened."
She suspected that Royce was embarrassed because he'd been caught doing such a sweet, tenderhearted task for his wife.
Nicholaa felt like crying again. Dear heavens, how she loved this man.
Her gaze turned to Justin's. He winked at her. She thought he might have noticed the color in Royce's face, too, or perhaps he'd noticed how misty her eyes were.
"Justin?"
"Yes?"
"I love Royce."
Her brother smiled. "I already knew you did, Nicholaa."
"How?"
"The way you look at him."
She turned to see Royce's reaction to their conversation. Her husband was bent over the table, diligently laboring over the half-formed statue. But he was smiling, too.
"There's something else you should know, Justin," Nicholaa said then. "Royce loves me."
"I already knew that, too," Justin announced with a laugh.
Royce dropped the knife and turned to look at Nicholaa. He stared at her for a long minute. "You're certain I love you?" he demanded.
"Yes."
He nodded. He sighed, too. "Then you'll quit this infernal smiling all the time? God, Nicholaa, it's driving me crazy."
Justin looked incredulous. Nicholaa burst into laughter. "I was only trying to be the kind of wife you wanted."
"I want you."
"Nicholaa, aren't you supposed to smile?" Justin asked, trying to make sense out of the conversation.
Royce didn't take his gaze away from his beautiful wife's face when he said, "Justin, go away."
"Yes, Baron," Justin answered with a grin.
Nicholaa stood up when her brother did. She picked up one of the candles and slowly walked back to the bed. She put the candle down on the chest and waited for Royce to come to her.
He went to the other side of the bed. In the flickering candlelight, she watched him disrobe.
He was such a handsome man. There was such strength in him, such power. And such gentleness, too. Nicholaa took off her robe and dropped it on the floor, staring at her husband all the while.
"I love you so much, Royce."
"I love you, too."
They met in the center of the bed on their knees, facing each other. His hands grasped her hips. Her arms were wrapped around his neck.
She kissed his chest, his chin, his scar. Royce wasn't in the mood to let her tease him. His hand became a fist in her hair. He jerked her head back with a low growl of longing. His mouth covered hers. Their tongues met, rubbed against each other. He growled again. She sighed.
He pulled her down to the bed. He covered her with his body and then began to kiss every inch of her. He was such a gentle, patient lover... until she became so wild and demanding she made him forget his control. His need consumed him then.
He moved between her thighs and slowly eased into her tight sheath. The ache intensified, burned with raw pleasure, and when he was finally fully one with her he was able to slow down for just a minute, long enough to tell her all the love words he'd held inside himself for so long.
Nicholaa only caught snatches here and there, for she was telling him all the tender words of love she'd stored inside her heart for so long.
It wasn't long before their feelings overwhelmed them and speech became impossible. The bed rocked from their lovemaking. Royce's thrusts were slow, controlled, until she came apart in his arms and squeezed him tight. He went wild then. He shouted her name when he poured his seed into her.
And still he stayed inside her. She wept against his neck, and once he understood they were tears of joy, he didn't mind at all.
Nicholaa fell asleep listening to her husband's whispers of love in her ear.
Royce reached over to put the candle out, then gathered his wife into his arms again. He could feel her warmth.
He closed his eyes and smiled. He could feel the contentment, too. It was there, in his wife's arms. Her love gave him such strength.
He wasn't a man given to prayer, but he got out a grumbled thank-you to his Maker before he fell asleep. He touched the scar on his face, and then he smiled again.
Nicholaa was wrong. God wasn't on her side. He was on theirs.
His impossible, stubborn-to-her-soul wife was back in full evidence the following day. It wasn't even noon before they had their first argument. Thomas had drawn the design for their new home, using all of his baron's specifications of course, and when Royce graciously allowed Nicholaa to look over the plan, she announced that it simply wouldn't do.
She waved her hand toward the area reserved for the kitchens and told him they'd need twice the amount of space. She frowned over the gigantic area he'd reserved for the soldiers' quarters he planned to put on the lower level. He'd accidentally left out a buttery, too. He didn't think they really needed it anyway. Nicholaa thought otherwise.
He finally had to sit her down and discuss each of her opinions. She let him talk without once interrupting, but it didn't take him long to realize she was daydreaming again. God, she was maddening. Damned invigorating, too. She finally agreed he was right on every single point. He went back to his duties feeling content. Nicholaa waited until her husband had whistled his way across the courtyard, then called Thomas back inside to give him the new, corrected specifications. She added a large buttery to the plan, extended the kitchens and the size of the hearth, and increased the master bedchamber to twice the original size.
Royce was terribly busy the rest of the week. He told Nicholaa he'd decided not to choose the soldiers who would participate in the king's games. He would set up feats of strength instead, and the top ten soldiers from each division would earn the honor on their own.
Nicholaa thought that was more than fair. She was pleased, too, that her husband had begun to include her when he discussed his plans with Lawrence. Yet as the second week progressed, Royce became more and more withdrawn. Whenever the topic of the competition came up, he would either change the subject or simply stop talking.
Something was worrying her husband, but he wasn't ready to tell her what it was. Nicholaa was learning to be patient. In time she was certain he'd sort it all out in his mind and then confide in her.
Four weeks remained before they would leave for the games. Royce finally confided in Nicholaa. It was a warm Sunday evening. Royce asked Nicholaa to sit down. He didn't look enthusiastic, as he usually did when he was about to launch into a lecture. No, he looked terribly serious, and if she hadn't known better, she would have thought he looked worried, too.
He didn't pace, either. He stood in front of the hearth with his hands clasped behind his back.
Royce didn't want to look at Nicholaa when he gave her his news. The fear he was sure to see in her expression would tear at his heart.
"Nicholaa," he began in a brisk, no-nonsense voice. "As you know, I allowed my men to compete against one another, and those most skilled would earn the honor of representing me... that is to say," he corrected, "the honor of representing us."
Nicholaa was beginning to get worried. She'd never seen her husband act this hesitant before. She folded her hands in her lap, straightened her shoulders, and forced herself to wait until he told her the rest.
Long minutes passed before Royce spoke again. "It's finished now," he announced. "The men all know who the ten from each division are. It can't be undone."
"No, of course not," she agreed.
He nodded. "Each unit will have nine soldiers and one commander. Lawrence easily won the honor of becoming commander over the experienced soldiers."
He went into great detail outlining Lawrence's strengths. Then he finally turned the topic to the Doves. "Nine soldiers were above all the others in every competition. There was one, however, whose expertise put him well above the others. He was quite exceptional."
Nicholaa had already guessed that Ingelram had earned the honor of becoming commander. Bryan might also be one of the ten. She thought she understood then. Royce was going to leave Justin behind, and he was concerned about her brother's feelings. Justin would have to accept this decision, of course. It would probably sting his pride to watch his friends leave for the games. Still, Nicholaa thought he had quite a lot to be thankful for, and if she had to, she'd sit him down and tell him so.
Royce turned away from the hearth and walked over to Nicholaa. He pulled her to her feet, took her hands, and said, "Justin has earned the right to command the unit." He braced himself for her tears.
She looked incredulous. She shook her head. It was obvious she didn't believe him. "You can't be serious."
"I'm very serious," he answered. "He earned the right, wife."
She pulled her hands away from his and collapsed into the chair. She was suddenly so frightened for her brother that her stomach started aching. She was furious with Royce, too. How could he have let this happen?
"I don't understand," she whispered. "Justin isn't ready."
"Yes, he is ready," he countered. "He was quite exceptional in the competition," he told her again. There was a noticeable tinge of pride in his voice. "You should be very proud of him, Nicholaa. I am."
"I don't want him to participate," she cried out. "It's too soon. He needs further instruction."
"Nicholaa, look at me," he commanded.
When she looked up, he saw the tears in her eyes. He let out a long sigh. "Do you have faith in me?" he asked.
She was surprised by that question, and yet after a minute or two of reasoning, she understood why he'd asked it. That was what it all came down to, wasn't it? Either she believed in her husband or she didn't.
Royce stood by his wife's side and patiently waited for her to sort it all out in her mind. He was a little irritated when she didn't immediately answer him. He understood her hesitation, however. Her fear was clouding her judgment. Still, he knew what her answer would be.
She finally nodded. "Yes, I do have faith in you."
She stared at the tabletop when she admitted that truth. Then she turned her gaze up to his so that he could see her frown. "And now you're going to tell me I must also have complete faith in all your decisions, aren't you?"
He gave her a smile. She couldn't sit still for another minute. She stood up just as Royce sat down. "Do you believe that because I have faith in you I must also have faith in Justin?"
"No," he answered. He folded his arms across his chest and stared at her. "You should, however, have complete faith in my judgment."
God, how she hated it when he was so logical. They were talking about her brother, not an outsider, and for that simple reason she was letting her emotions control her thoughts.
"Why can't it be undone?" she blurted out.
"That question doesn't deserve an answer, wife."
Her shoulders slumped. "I imagine Justin's pleased with this honor, isn't he?"
Royce nodded. He flashed a quick grin, then forced a serious expression when Nicholaa's frown intensified. "Justin's strutting around like a rooster now. Ingelram and Bryan also won the right to participate. They're strutting, too."
She wasn't amused by the picture he'd painted. "They're boys," she cried out. "Royce, they could get killed."
He shook his head. He would have pulled her onto his lap and comforted her if she hadn't backed away from him. He decided she wasn't quite ready to be soothed yet. She needed time to feel angry first.
"They're men, Nicholaa. They're young, yes, but still men, not boys."
Nicholaa realized she was wringing her hands and immediately clasped them behind her back.
"Perhaps you'll stop worrying after I've told you just how exceptional your brother was when he competed for his place," Royce suggested.
She shrugged. He hid his smile. He knew she wanted to scream at him. She didn't, though. She was trying to accept his decision, and that pleased him very much. She'd never seen Justin train with the others and couldn't possibly know he'd developed into quite a warrior.
Royce knew, though. He'd been with Justin day in and day out, demanding perfection. Justin had measured up, the honor now belonged to him, and by God, despite Nicholaa's resistance, Royce wouldn't take that privilege away.
He patiently explained each test the soldiers were put through and told how Justin had met every challenge. In truth, he was fairly bursting with pride by the time he'd finished telling Nicholaa about the feats. And when he was done, he again told her it couldn't be undone.
"This announcement caught me by surprise," she announced. "I do have faith in you, and for that reason I assume you've considered every possibility. Do you believe the men who go up against my brother will fight fairly?"
"No," he answered. "They'll do whatever it takes to win, Nicholaa."
"Even if that means trying to break Justin's one hand to make him completely vulnerable? Even if they use their swords to try to cut his hand off?"
She was shaking with fear by the time she'd spoken those dark possibilities aloud. Royce leaned back in the chair and stared at her. "Even then," he agreed.
Odd, but his casual agreement eased her fear just a little. He'd obviously thought about those possibilities, too.
She started pacing. "I imagine you've told Justin what to expect. You've surely warned him about Baron Guy's soldiers." Nicholaa didn't wait for his agreement but continued. "Although you won't admit it, you must be a bit worried. I'm worried, too, but I guess it doesn't matter how we feel. We'll have to keep our concern hidden from Justin." She threaded her fingers through her hair, then blurted out, "Royce, if you doubt he's completely ready, then help him."
He was having difficulty following her. In the space of a few minutes she'd done a complete turnaround. She was now trying to persuade him not to worry.
She resumed her pacing. "You've given Justin back his pride," she told him. "You can't take that away now."
Royce continued to listen to her reasons for accepting this decision and it suddenly dawned on him that Nicholaa wasn't just repeating what he'd already told her.
She was actually lecturing him.
He waited until her pacing brought her close enough, then reached out and grabbed her. He settled her on his lap and kissed her.
"You please me, wife," he announced gruffly.
"Will I please you when I tell you I won't stop being afraid?"
"Yes," he answered. "Because I know you won't intervene, and I know you'll hide your fear from your brother."
She clasped his face. "Make certain he's ready," she whispered. "Teach him all the deceitful tricks they'll use. If anyone knows how to fight unfairly, it's you, husband."
He raised an eyebrow. "Thank you... I think. That was a compliment, wasn't it?"
"Oh, yes," she replied. "You didn't fight fairly when you tricked me into leaving the abbey. Had I known then what a soft heart you had, I would have realized Ulric was safer with you than with anyone else in England. Yes, you used cunning then. It certainly wasn't fair of you to trick me that way."
He kissed her again, a long, wet, hot kiss that left them both shaking. Lawrence's discreet cough made Royce reluctantly pull away.
Nicholaa looked flustered. She jumped off her husband's lap, smoothed her hair and her skirts, and smiled at the vassal. "I understand you're going to lead the experienced soldiers in William's games. Congratulations, Lawrence."
"Thank you, my lady."
"We must have a special dinner tonight," she said. She turned to Royce. "Could Justin join us?"
"If he does, the others must also be invited."
She smiled. "Cook's going to pitch a tantrum when I tell her we're having twenty guests."
Her husband shook his head. "Twenty-four," he corrected. "Two extra men from each division will go along as reserves."
"Reserves?"
"It's just a precaution, Nicholaa," he explained, "in case one or two are injured."
"Or become too ill to compete?"
He knew from the eagerness in her voice what she was thinking... and probably hoping. "Justin isn't going to get injured or become ill. Do not waste your time praying he will, wife."
She frowned at him. "I would never pray for such a thing," she muttered. She turned to the vassal, forced a smile, and said, "Lawrence, my husband must learn to have a little more faith in me. Still, he has other redeeming qualities, and so I forgive him his flaws."
The vassal didn't know how to respond to that remark. He did notice his baron was looking surprised. Then Nicholaa drew his attention again when she asked if he would order a few of the soldiers to bring the other table up from the floor below.
As soon as he'd given her his agreement, she hurried toward the back of the castle. Nicholaa knew that the sooner she gave Cook the bad news, the sooner she could get over her tantrum and down to the business of preparing a fine meal.
It turned out to be a festive occasion. Royce was right when he said Justin strutted. So did the other young soldiers. The older knights took it all in stride. They were dignified. But they smiled all through dinner, too.
Justin was asked to stay after the dinner was finished. He thought his baron wanted him to assist him with the statue again.
Royce wasn't in the mood to work on the project tonight, however. "Beginning tomorrow I will set aside two hours each day to instruct you."
"With the others on my team?" Justin asked.
It was Lawrence who answered him. "Of course, Justin," he said. "Your baron is simply respecting the chain of command when he tells you his plans, because you earned the right to lead your team. Tomorrow you will relay this message to your men."
Justin smiled. "I understand." He turned his gaze to his sister. "Nicholaa, what are you looking at?" he asked. He'd noticed she was frowning intently and staring at his arm.
"Your scars," she answered immediately. "They aren't still tender, are they?"
Since she'd asked the question so casually, Justin was hard pressed to take exception. "No, they aren't tender."
Nicholaa nodded. "Lawrence told me that you put on a leather covering with loops to slip over your shoulder, and Royce made you take it off. His reason was that the opponent could use the loops to pin you down."
"Yes, that's true," Justin acknowledged.
"Who made that covering for you?" Nicholaa asked.
"Bryan."
"Is he very clever?"
Royce interrupted then. "You aren't thinking to ask Bryan to make the black queen, are you?"
"No, of course not," she rushed out before her husband's feelings could become injured. "You must finish the black queen."
"Then what---"
"I was just considering ways to be devious," she said. "I also have a cunning mind."
Royce laughed. "You don't have to convince me, Sister Danielle," he drawled out.
Lawrence laughed, for he'd heard the tale how Nicholaa posed as a nun. He recounted the story for Justin's benefit.
Nicholaa drummed her fingertips on the tabletop until the laughter had subsided, then turned to Royce again. "Your worry was that the opponent would grab hold of the leather, wasn't it?"
He nodded. She smiled. "I think you should let them."
Lawrence and Justin didn't know what she was getting at. Royce caught on right away. He laughed. "Yes," he said then. "We should let them." He turned to look at Justin. "She's talking about a surprise," he explained. "Something sharp sewn into the leather that would even the odds."
Nicholaa was already blushing. "I wouldn't normally consider such trickery, but if someone is going to grab your arm to hold you down, I do believe a few blades in the leather would be a just reward."
"Go and put the possibility to Bryan," Royce told Nicholaa's brother.
Justin immediately stood up, winked at his sister, and then hurried out of the hall.
"Royce, you won't be taking part in the games, will you?" Nicholaa asked.
He shook his head. "The men act in my stead," he explained. "When they win, I win."
She was warmed by his arrogance. He hadn't said if he won but when he won, and she knew he believed his soldiers would be victorious no matter what challenges they faced.
Nicholaa turned her attention to Lawrence. The look of worry on her face surprised the vassal. She took his hand. That surprised him even more.
"Lawrence," she said, "Morgan and Henry are going to try to hurt Royce at the games. You'll have to keep your guard up at all times. If they can't get to him, they'll hurt you."
The warning wasn't necessary. Lawrence was well aware of Morgan's and Henry's black hearts. "You mustn't worry, my lady."
"Oh, but I do worry." She squeezed his hand affectionately and then let go when she caught her husband's frown.
"How would you know what they plan to do?" Royce asked.
"Henry told me," she answered. "He wants to get even with you. He's still angry because I didn't choose to wed his baron. I can't imagine why he thought I'd prefer Guy to you."
She sounded so bewildered that Lawrence couldn't help smiling. Her love for Royce was evident.
"Henry's jealous," she said. "He had the gall to bring up that sorry incident with the woman who told me to kill Royce. It was rude of him to mention it."
She let out a sigh, then dismissed Henry from her thoughts. She stood up, intent on helping Clarise clear the table. She wanted to praise Cook one last time too, for doing such a fine job of feeding all the men such a wonderful meal.
Royce grabbed her hand and forced her to sit down again.
He hadn't shown any reaction to her remarks about Guy's vassals. He seemed interested now, however. "Tell me when Henry said these things to you," he ordered.
"It was right after you tossed Morgan through the wall."
"He specifically mentioned the woman who threatened you when we were in London?"
"Yes," she answered. "He was trying to frighten me, I suppose," she said. "It didn't work, though. Are you finished with your questions, husband? I really must thank Cook again before I forget." As soon as he gave her permission, Nicholaa hurried out of the room.
Royce waited until he and Lawrence were alone. "Damn interesting, wouldn't you say?"
"Henry and Morgan could have heard about the incident," Lawrence interjected.
"The king wanted it kept quiet, remember? He didn't want the celebration tainted. Only a handful knew what happened, and Baron Guy wasn't one of them."
"But after we left London and the celebration was over, someone could have mentioned it," Lawrence said.
Royce shook his head. "The king was furious to learn that someone had actually breached his home. He took it as a personal insult, and he didn't want the news to spread. No, word didn't get out, Lawrence. There's something else, too," he added with a scowl. "When Nicholaa's older brother came here, I questioned him about the activities of the resisters in London. Thurston didn't know what I was talking about. I believed then and I believe now that it was an honest reaction on his part. He was too surprised. Damn it, my opinion is that Morgan and Henry sent that messenger to Nicholaa."
Lawrence nodded. "That is my opinion, too," he admitted. "Did they act on their own or did Guy have a hand in this?"
"It doesn't matter." Royce's voice turned as hard and as cold as ice. "He's responsible for his vassals' actions."
"Of course," Lawrence agreed. "Still, I'd like to know if he had a part in this treachery. I'm curious to know how far his malice extends."
"We won't have long to wait. In just a few weeks we'll have our answer."
"And then we retaliate." Lawrence hadn't asked a question but simply stated a fact. He'd served his baron long enough to understand how his mind worked.
"You'll have to take care of Morgan and Henry," Royce said.
"With pleasure, Baron."
"Damn, I wish I could fight the two of them."
Lawrence understood his baron's frustration. The king would never allow a baron to fight another baron's vassals in games of strength. It would be beneath his station. It was therefore up to Lawrence to right the treachery. And, Lord, how he was looking forward to the opportunity.
"There's still Baron Guy," Lawrence said, reminding Royce he wouldn't be completely left out.
"Yes," Royce replied. "That bastard's all mine."
The following weeks of preparation proved to be a torment for Nicholaa, and an enlightenment, too.
The torment came first. Nicholaa had to pretend to be happy whenever she ran into Justin or one of his friends. She also had to pretend she wasn't worried and didn't doubt her husband's judgment when she was with him.
There was a price to be paid for her feigned happiness. By keeping all her fears hidden, she made herself sick. Each morning when she opened her eyes, she was so sick to her stomach she could barely get out of bed.
The nausea would dissipate after an hour or two. She thought it was because once she was wide awake, she was able to push her fears away. She couldn't soothe her nerves when she was sleeping, however. She was vulnerable then.
And then enlightenment came. It took her a good week to catch on. She noticed how tender her breasts were. She noticed other changes, too. She suddenly couldn't stand the smell of quail. She couldn't stand to watch anyone eat the disgustingly greasy meat, either. She was sleeping longer, and more often than not she was sneaking in an afternoon nap when everyone else was too busy to notice.
She was going to have Royce's baby. Nicholaa was so filled with joy over the wonderful miracle that she got teary-eyed every time she thought about it.
When she wasn't occupied worrying about Justin, she was thinking about the perfect way to tell her husband he was going to be a father. She knew he was going to be surprised. He'd been so busy with his duties, she didn't think he'd noticed any changes in her behavior.
Royce worked with the younger soldiers from dawn until dinner. The two hours a day he'd promised to give the Doves had turned into nine.
Royce was clearly worn out by the time dinner was finished, yet he still took time to sit her down and lecture her. She thought it was probably the only enjoyment he gained during the day.
The topic of his lectures was always the same. He talked about her safety at the games. Night after night he made her promise him she'd take every care, that she wouldn't go anywhere without a proper escort, that she wouldn't take any unnecessary risks, such as even acknowledging Morgan or Henry.
Nicholaa couldn't remember the rest of his list of orders because she was usually daydreaming by then.
Royce made it quite clear he would rather leave her behind, but her feelings weren't hurt. She was certain he still hadn't recovered from the incident when the woman got into their chamber in London.
He didn't want her in Baron Guy's company, either. Royce would surely have left her home if the king and his wife hadn't requested that she attend.
She decided not to tell him about the baby just yet. It would give him a good excuse to leave her behind and simply tell his overlord that her delicate condition didn't allow her to travel.
Nicholaa would take every precaution to ensure the baby's safety, of course. She wasn't going to let her husband set a breakneck pace. She wasn't going to become overly tired, either.
On a bright sunny Monday morning they left for the fields near London where the games were going to take place. Nicholaa got up an hour earlier than necessary so she could recover from her morning sickness before Royce awakened.
Justin rode with the other young soldiers toward the rear of the procession. Every now and then she heard her brother's laughter. A terrible thought---that it was the laughter of an innocent riding toward destruction---would immediately pop into her mind. She'd shake her head, tell herself she trusted Royce's judgment, and then force herself to think of happier thoughts. Then Justin would laugh again, and the cycle would be repeated.
It was exhausting, this mental game she played. After they stopped to eat their nooning meal, she was so sleepy she could barely keep her eyes open. She asked Royce if she could ride with him. He thought she was finally going to confide her worries to him, but after she'd settled herself on his lap and wrapped her arms around his waist, she went to sleep. It wasn't a short rest, either; she slept the entire afternoon away. Royce guessed the fear she'd been so desperately trying to hide from him had worn her out.
He didn't worry that she was having difficulty maintaining her faith in him. Nicholaa was trying, and that was all that mattered.
They made camp several hours later in a narrow meadow surrounded by forest. A clear knee-deep stream ran along one side of the clearing.
Royce had to wake Nicholaa up before he could dismount. A wave of nausea washed over her as soon as she was helped to the ground. She was able to catch the gag in the back of her throat. Then she begged for a few minutes of privacy. Royce noticed how pale she looked. She took off running toward the cluster of trees. Royce frowned with concern as he watched her leave.
He turned his attention to the care of his mount. He removed the saddle, tossed it to his squire, and then ordered that his horse be allowed to cool down before being given water and oats.
Ten minutes passed, and still his wife hadn't returned. Royce went after her. He heard the sound of retching when he reached the trees. Justin came up to speak to him and also heard the noise.
"Your sister's ill," Royce said.
"Shouldn't we go to her?" Justin asked, his concern obvious.
Royce shook his head. "Give her a few more minutes of privacy. If she doesn't come back then, I'll go to her."
The two men stood side by side, waiting. Several more minutes passed in silence.
"Was it something she ate, do you suppose?" Justin asked. The sound of retching had stopped, but Nicholaa still hadn't walked back to the clearing.
"No," Royce answered. "She's made herself ill worrying, Justin."
"What is she worrying about?"
"You."
Justin didn't know what to say to that.
Nicholaa came toward them then. She frowned when she saw the two of them standing there, then went to kneel by the stream. She rinsed her mouth with the cool water, then patted water on her face.
"Nicholaa?" Justin called out. "Have you really made yourself sick worrying about me?"
She turned around to look up at her brother. "No," she answered. "I'm sick for quite another reason."
Justin looked relieved. He pulled her to her feet.
"I am worried about you, though," she told him. "Justin, please understand. I'm your older sister, and I'll always try to protect you." She turned to Royce. "If you were going to compete in these games, I'd be worried about you, too. If that means I lack faith in either of you, my only defense is that I love you both."
"Then it was something you ate that made you sick?" Royce asked.
Nicholaa gave him a roundabout answer. "I'm feeling fine now."
Royce didn't look convinced. He seemed preoccupied during dinner, and when they'd finished, he went to the stream. She followed him.
He was bent on worrying about her now, and Nicholaa didn't think a lecture would ease his mind. A spontaneous action might, though.
Her husband was kneeling beside the stream. He'd taken his tunic off and was splashing water over his neck and chest. Nicholaa walked up behind him and used the flat of her foot against his solid backside to give him a quick shove.
He didn't budge. He did turn around, though, and give her a most incredulous look.
She laughed and then tried to push him into the water again.
He thought she'd lost her mind. "I'm being spontaneous," she announced as she lunged for him a second time. "But you aren't cooperating."
He still didn't fall into the water. Nicholaa backed up, thinking to try again, but Royce suddenly stood up. He deliberately glanced over his shoulder at the water, then looked at her and grinned.
She knew what he was going to do, of course, and immediately lifted her skirts to run in the opposite direction.
He caught her from behind. She let out a shrill scream. Royce picked her up, turned, and held her over the water.
Soldiers came running. She and Royce were suddenly surrounded by armed men ready to defend them.
She was both horrified and embarrassed.
Royce laughed at the blush that covered her face. He dismissed his soldiers, and when they were once again alone, he bent down and kissed her forehead. "I love you, Nicholaa."
"I love you, too."
They shared a long kiss. Nicholaa quite forgot where they were. His touch was magical, and when he was holding her in his arms, all she could think about was him.
She was standing with his arms around her waist when he finally ended the kiss. She stared up into his eyes for a long while until she regained her wits. She noticed the sparkle in his beautiful eyes, that adorable rascal's smile. She noticed something else, too. She was standing in the water. He wasn't.
Her intent was to make him forget to worry about her for just a little while, and when he started laughing, she knew she'd succeeded.
He sat down on the grassy bank, pulled her out of the water and into his lap, laughing over his cunning still, and helped her take off her soggy shoes.
"Royce, if you forgot something, would there still be time to go back home to fetch it?"
"No," he answered. "Why do you ask?"
"If you wanted to take something back you couldn't do that, either, could you?"
"No."
She gave him a radiant smile. "I have something to tell you," she whispered.
She didn't go on. She folded her hands in her lap and turned her gaze to his chest. Her sudden shyness made him smile. "What is it, Nicholaa?"
"We're going to have a baby."
He was too stunned to react at first. Then he was speechless.
She peeked up to see how he was taking her announcement. She laughed when she saw the look of astonishment on his face. Tears of joy streamed down her cheeks, and she wondered how it was possible to laugh and cry at the same time even as she continued to do just that.
Royce's hand shook when he gently touched her face. "You're certain about this?" he asked her in a gruff whisper.
It was of course a very logical question. It wasn't logical that after she told him she was certain, he repeated the same question two more times. He couldn't seem to accept it.
"You're pleased, husband?"
"Yes." He didn't say another word. He didn't need to. There was so much emotion in that simple acknowledgment, so much love. He put his arms around her and held her against him. He was still having difficulty putting his thoughts into words. They stayed that way for a long while, holding each other, kissing, whispering to each other. Every now and then she'd feel him tremble.
Oh, yes, he was very pleased.
The fields outside London had been turned into a paradise of color. Tents with each baron's colors sprinkled the hills overlooking the site where the games would be held. The king's quarters, on the opposite side, were gigantic and far more elegant than all the others.
It seemed to Nicholaa that everyone in England was in attendance. Women, dressed in their finest gowns, strolled beside the jousting fields so they could be noticed by the men. Children ran from cart to cart, snatching sweets. Minstrels moved through the crowd, singing romantic ballads. Heralds were busy watching everyone so they could accurately record the history of the event in their minds for future recitation.
Only six barons had received the honor of having their men engage in the games. Had all the barons been allowed to enter, the festive occasion would have lasted a month or more.
The experienced soldiers engaged in combat first. Nicholaa stood on the side of the hill with Justin at her side and all the other younger soldiers lined up behind her. They cheered for Lawrence and his team. Baron Hanson's soldiers were almost immediately defeated. Baron George's soldiers left the fields next. By early afternoon only two divisions remained. Baron Guy's soldiers were now pitted against Baron Royce's, just as everyone had predicted.
Nicholaa was too nervous to cheer. She didn't watch Lawrence, either. She kept her gaze locked on her husband. He stood at the side of the field, directly across from Guy.
Each time Royce smiled, Nicholaa let out a little sigh of relief. When he frowned, her stomach did a flip. A deafening roar suddenly caught her attention. She turned to the field. Only Lawrence and Henry remained now. Royce's vassal was standing over Henry. Guy's soldier was sprawled on the ground. The tip of Lawrence's sword touched Henry's neck. Lawrence wasn't looking at his prey, though. He was staring at Royce, waiting for his signal.
Nicholaa held her breath. Royce took his sweet time making up his mind. A silence fell over the crowd. Royce turned to his king, caught his smile, and then finally turned back to Lawrence.
Royce finally shook his head. Lawrence immediately backed away from Henry, giving him enough room to get up and leave the field.
It didn't take Lawrence so long to defeat Morgan. Nicholaa thought Lawrence didn't want to take the time to toy with him. He knocked him into a sound sleep within ten minutes.
Only Royce's soldiers remained on the field now. They lined up and walked over to their baron. Their stride was arrogant, their grins telling.
Royce didn't show any outward reaction to the victory. When his soldiers joined him, he merely nodded, then turned and walked to the king's platform. His soldiers fell in behind their baron.
William stood up, raised his hand for silence, and then proclaimed in a shout that once again Baron Royce's soldiers had proved their excellence. They would all be suitably rewarded. The cheers were nearly deafening.
Nicholaa clasped her hands together and said a prayer of thanksgiving for the victory.
It would soon be time for the younger soldiers to participate. Nicholaa turned to her brother and took his hand. "No matter what happens, I want you to know how proud I am of you," she whispered.
Since the other soldiers were watching, she didn't hug him. She squeezed his hand instead. God's truth, she didn't want him to go down that hill. She forced herself to let go of him. Bryan helped Justin put on the leather hauberk. Justin flexed his arms. The left sleeve was a bit stiffer than the right. Nicholaa watched her brother adjust the fit, then nod with satisfaction.
The trumpets sounded from the field, calling the soldiers into position. The men bowed to Nicholaa, straightened their shoulders, and then fell into line behind their commander. Justin led the procession down the hill.
Nicholaa watched her brother follow the path down to the base of the hill. She spotted Royce then. He'd walked across the field and was now waiting at the edge for his soldiers to join him. He would give them his instructions, then await his second victory.
Nicholaa could see her husband clearly. He was smiling. The most remarkable thing happened to her then. Every bit of her fear vanished. She drew such strength from her husband's arrogant confidence.
Royce looked up at Nicholaa. His breath caught in his throat at the sight of her. She looked like a vision to him, dressed in shimmering blue. She was a beautiful woman, yes, but what captivated Royce was her smile.
Justin had to clear his throat in order to get his baron's attention. Royce seemed content to stand there staring up at his wife for the rest of the afternoon. The other soldiers were already in deep discussion with their barons, who were issuing last-minute instructions.
Royce forced himself to turn away from his wife. He gave his soldiers one simple order. "You will give me victory today." He then turned and walked by Justin's side toward the center of the field.
"Will we use swords, Baron?" Justin asked.
"The king will decide. Wait until you receive his instructions."
Justin nodded. There was still a fair distance to walk. He cleared his throat again. "Baron?"
"Yes?"
"I noticed that over the past few weeks you've seemed more concerned about training me than the others. Was that because you had less faith in my ability?"
Royce held his smile. Justin was experiencing an attack of pre-battle worries. It was a common affliction, especially among the younger, unseasoned soldiers.
"As your baron, I have complete faith in your ability. I didn't give you this honor, Justin. You earned it. As your brother, however, I'll admit I've forced you to work harder. You have to be better than the others, remember?"
"I remember."
"You have fulfilled my expectations," Royce announced, giving him the praise he knew he needed to hear.
"Thank you."
Royce did smile then. "You insult me by giving me your gratitude," he said. "As your baron, I was only doing my duty."
Justin didn't look at Royce but kept his gaze directed on the center of the field. "I wasn't thanking my baron," he said. His voice was gruff with emotion. "I was thanking my brother."
Royce gave Justin an affectionate cuff on the side of his neck. They reached the center of the field. Justin and the other nine were the first to arrive. The other competitors were still in huddles with their barons.
"Was there something more you wished to say to us?" Justin asked when the baron started to walk away.
Royce turned around. "The others need further instruction. You don't. I've told you what I expect. Victory, Justin. Nothing less."
Nicholaa watched her husband walk to the side of the field. He had such a wonderful swagger. She started laughing. Justin and his team were lined up now. They all stood with their legs braced apart and their arms at their sides. They radiated confidence.
Clayton the herald drew her notice then. He climbed the hill and stopped at Nicholaa's side.
"History is being made this fine day," he told Nicholaa. "A one-handed warrior is leading Baron Royce's soldiers in combat. This is what legends are made of, Lady Nicholaa."
She smiled over his enthusiasm. "His name is Justin," she said. "And he's my brother."
Clayton was thrilled with her news. "Two legends in the same family," he announced. "Quite remarkable." He bowed to Nicholaa, after explaining he was on his way to gain a better position to watch the feats, and hurried on up the hill.
As one of the three official observers, Clayton kept his gaze on the field, memorizing each and every detail for future recounting, and watching Lady Nicholaa, too, hoping to get a few additional details to add to her legend. He would not question her until the games were concluded, however.
The competition finally began. Nicholaa kept her gaze on Justin. She let out a gasp when the very first opponent grabbed his arm and tried to pin him down. Justin shifted positions. His opponent jumped back, then stared down at his bloody hand. The blades sewn into the leather had done their work. The soldier had taken his attention away from Justin, too. Nicholaa's brother used the back of his hand to knock the soldier backward. As he was staggering to the ground, Justin slammed his foot into the man's groin.
The king hadn't allowed the use of any weapons. Some of the opposing soldiers had wrapped their hands with steel links. The covering proved to be more of a hindrance than a help, though. Justin and his men quickly took the advantage over the soldiers who were trying to hold on to their makeshift weapons. In minutes only Baron Guy's soldiers were left to fight.
A giant of a man swaggered toward Justin. Even from a distance Nicholaa could tell he was much older than all the others. Guy had planted a seasoned warrior in with his Doves, she realized.
Justin didn't seem intimidated. He motioned for the soldier to come closer. It was an arrogant command. The crowd loved it, too. They cheered. Even Royce, who hadn't shown any reaction to what was going on until now, actually smiled.
So did Justin. Guy's vassal became infuriated. Justin couldn't have been more pleased. His opponent was making a fatal mistake. He was letting emotion get in his way. He let out a battle cry as he lunged for Justin. Justin did just as Royce had instructed time and time again. He waited until the last possible second, then moved to one side. The warrior went flying to the ground, losing any advantage he might have had. Justin didn't show the older soldier any mercy either. He made certain he stayed down.
Two members of Justin's team were knocked unconscious. As leader, Justin now had to take on two additional opponents. God's truth, he was thoroughly enjoying himself. He actually laughed when one of his opponents got in a lucky kick; then he retaliated in kind.
The crowd went wild. They began to chant Justin's name. Nicholaa was overwhelmed by what she was watching. Her brother's strength astonished her. His cunning was even more impressive. The two guards assigned to Nicholaa completely lost their composure when the last of the challengers went down. Their cheers made her ears ring.
For a minute or so before the others joined him, Justin stood all alone in the center of the field. Victory belonged to him. The proof littered the ground around him.
Justin heard the cheers, but it didn't register in his mind that the crowd was chanting his name or that their shouts were for him. He bowed low to the king, then turned to his baron.
Royce gave him an arrogant nod. Justin nodded back. Ingelram and the others joined Justin then. Together now, they walked toward their baron.
The crowd swelled onto the field. Nicholaa watched as the ladies hurried to surround her brother. He seemed confused by all the attention he was getting.
Nicholaa expected Royce to come up the hill. He went in the opposite direction. She noticed King William had left his platform, too, and now stood at the bottom of the steps. Guy stood on one side of his overlord, and Royce stood on the other side. A heated discussion got under way. Nicholaa couldn't see Royce's face. His back was turned to her. Guy kept shaking his head. Then he took a step toward Royce.
King William shoved Guy back.
"The barons are having a disagreement," the guard named Vincent announced.
"A heated one, from the looks of things," replied Edward, the second guard assigned to protect Nicholaa. "See how the crowd has backed away."
"Please go and find out what this disagreement is all about," Nicholaa requested.
Both Edward and Vincent shook their heads. "We cannot leave your side, my lady," Vincent explained.
"Then at least go up to the top of the hill and ask Clayton what's going on."
The two guards agreed with that request. Only the herald stood above them. Clayton wasn't that far away, either, and if anyone came up the hill to get to Nicholaa, the soldiers would have plenty of time to get to her side to protect her.
Nicholaa turned her attention back to her husband. Guy's two vassals were now being escorted over to the king. Morgan and Henry genuflected in front of their overlord, then stood up. The king was doing all the talking now. Nicholaa wished she could hear what he was saying. He was waving his hands in obvious agitation. His face was red, and she thought he might be shouting at the vassals.
Morgan and Henry took turns shaking their heads. The king raised his hand, turned to say something to Guy. After a minute or two Guy nodded.
Royce hadn't moved at all. Nicholaa didn't know if he was pleased or angry by whatever was being decided.
William mounted the platform. Guy moved to stand in front of Royce. He faced Morgan and Henry. He spoke to them, then struck Morgan across his face. Guy gave the same punishment to Henry next.
Two other soldiers wearing Guy's colors moved forward when their baron motioned to them. They waited while the vassals removed their swords. Nicholaa understood then. Morgan and Henry were being dishonored for something they'd done.
Neither vassal appeared to be shamed by the public humiliation. In unison they turned and walked across the field, escorted by the two other soldiers. Guy bent to pick up their swords, walked to the side of the platform, and threw the weapons into the trees beyond.
Nicholaa kept her attention on the insolent vassals. Morgan stared straight ahead, but Henry kept turning back to look at Royce. She thought then that perhaps Henry blamed her husband for the disgrace he was suffering. The two vassals finally reached the area near the trees where the horses were tethered.
She let out a sigh of relief. The vassals had obviously been banned from the celebration, and she wouldn't have to put up with their insolent remarks at the dinner tonight.
Royce turned and walked onto the field. Nicholaa thought he might be coming up the hill to her. She hurried back inside the tent. Her husband would surely be in need of a refreshment and she wanted to have it ready for him.
His packet was on their cot. Nicholaa unlatched the fastenings and reached inside to pull out a fresh tunic for her husband. She let out a surprised laugh when she unfolded the tunic and her sling fell out. There were three smooth stones inside, too. Nicholaa couldn't imagine why Royce had carried that equipment along.
The sound of trumpets caught her attention. Nicholaa rushed back outside to see what was going on. The games were supposed to be over by now. Royce had told her the young soldiers would be the last to participate, and their competition had just ended.
She came to a dead stop when she saw what was happening. Royce stood near the center of the field. Guy faced her husband, though he stood almost twenty feet away.
Both barons were removing their swords. Then each turned. Guy to his right, where his soldiers were lined up on the sidelines, and Royce to his right, where his soldiers had also formed a line.
Royce's soldiers weren't smiling. Neither were Guy's. A hush had fallen over the crowd, too. Lawrence started onto the field toward Royce just as one of Guy's vassals moved forward. Lawrence paused in his stride, turned to nod at Justin, and then continued. Justin didn't understand what was expected of him until Ingelram nudged him and gave him a little shove. Nicholaa's brother then hurried onto the field after Lawrence.
Nicholas didn't know what was going on, but she was determined to find out, no matter how many guards Royce had ordered to keep her on the bill. She lifted her skirts and started running down the path. She was caught from behind. Vincent grabbed her. The redheaded knight apologized profusely as he escorted her back to her tent.
"The baron wishes you to watch from here, my lady," Vincent explained for the tenth time.
She turned around to give the soldier a curt response, but quickly changed her mind when she saw the sympathy on the soldier's face. Vincent was only doing his duty. Nicholaa couldn't fault him for that.
"Exactly what am I going to be watching?" she asked.
"The fight," Vincent answered, looking confused by her question.
"Vincent, I gathered there was going to be a fight," she returned. "I'm asking you why. Royce told me he wasn't going to participate."
The second guard moved forward. "The king just ordered the challenge to settle a dispute."
Edward had told her everything he knew, and she still hadn't learned anything.
Then Vincent spoke again. "Your brother's receiving an honor, my lady," he said as he motioned to the field below. Nicholaa turned just as Royce handed his sword to Lawrence, who in turn handed the jeweled weapon to Justin.
"Now what are they doing?" she whispered. Justin had left the field, and Royce was speaking to Lawrence. Guy was also talking to his vassal.
"They're following procedure," Vincent answered. "Our baron is letting it be known in front of witnesses that Lawrence will take charge in the event..."
The soldier realized what he was explaining a little too late. Nicholaa let out a gasp. "I can't believe this is happening," she whispered. Anger was quickly replacing her fear. Her voice had a sting in it when she added, "Royce specifically told me he wouldn't be competing."
The two soldiers exchanged a look. "He isn't competing," Vincent said. "A dispute is being settled. That's quite different from a competition, my lady."
"Will the two of you at least go down to the base of the hill where the other soldiers stand and ask them if they know what this dispute is all about?" Her words fairly tripped over one another in her rush to gain their agreement.
"By God, if this is a fight to the death, neither one of them will win," she announced, "because I'll kill both of them. Just see if I don't."
Vincent was able to keep his smile contained. Edward wasn't. Their mistress's concern for her husband warmed their hearts. Her worry was unfounded, however. Their baron could meet any challenge.
The soldiers finally agreed to her request and walked down the long path.
And then it began. Guy was first to attack. Nicholaa was thankful they used only their fists instead of weapons, yet after several minutes of watching the men battle each other, she realized one could easily kill the other.
At first they seemed to be evenly matched. Each was able to shake off the other's powerful blows. Royce was a little more controlled in his actions, though.
Nicholaa's stomach did a little flip when Guy tripped Royce. Her husband was sprawled out on his back. Guy seized the advantage. He made a dive to pin Royce down. Just as Guy lunged forward, Royce's foot came up. He caught Guy in the groin lifted him a good distance into the air, and sent him into a backward somersault. It was a dazzling display of strength.
The crowd went wild. Guy must have had the wind knocked out of him. He stayed flat on his back for a long minute. Royce didn't take the opportunity to end the fight then and there, however. He simply stood with his hands on his hips and waited for Guy to get up.
Nicholaa began to relax. Her husband was obviously toying with Guy. His superior ability was very apparent to her now. She was even able to smile a little.
The noise from the crowd made her head pound. The only ones not cheering were Royce's soldiers. They looked very dignified, and arrogantly confident, too, as they stood side by side along the length of the field watching their baron.
Guy got in a lucky punch. Nicholaa winced in reaction. She turned her attention away from the field then. Her stomach wasn't going to let her watch much more. She wished to God Royce would end this and come up to her. She wanted to kiss him first and yell at him next.
Her gaze scanned the crowd. Everyone was intent on the battle. A movement among the horses caught her eye then. Nicholaa moved a little to her left to see what that commotion was about. She saw two soldiers sprawled on the ground in a huddle. She realized they were the men who had escorted Morgan and Henry off the field. Neither moved. Then she saw Guy's vassals. Morgan and Henry were reaching for the reins of the nearest mounts. Henry turned her way. She saw the bow and arrow in his hands then.
They were simply running away from their humiliation, she told herself. Yet she remembered the way Henry had looked back over his shoulder at Royce when he'd been escorted off the field. Those two escorts were now injured... or worse.
Nicholaa ran back inside the tent, grabbed her sling and the stones, and hurried back outside. She stared down at the field while she slipped the loops around her fingers and inserted one smooth stone into the pouch.
It was only a precaution she was taking, she told herself. The vassals wouldn't be foolish enough to try to have their revenge now. They'd never make it to safety if they dared to do what in her heart she already knew they were going to do.
She prayed she was wrong. She also moved to the edge of the slope as another precaution, though.
The vassals' mounts broke through the trees in a full gallop toward the field. Henry came first, with Morgan behind him.
The crowd hadn't noticed the intrusion yet. Nicholaa swung her sling into a wide arch above her head. "Come closer, Henry, just a bit closer," she whispered.
The horses pounded onto the field. Everything seemed to happen at once then. Guy was facing the soldiers. Henry was still too far away from Nicholaa for her to do him any damage. The arrow was positioned in his bow. He let go of the reins and took aim.
Baron Guy did a remarkably brave thing then. He threw himself in front of Royce at the last possible second and took the arrow that was meant for his opponent.
Henry tried to grasp the reins and turn his mount before Royce could get to him. He wasn't quick enough. Royce moved with the speed of a panther. He didn't try to stop the mount but jumped up and ripped Henry from the saddle. Royce didn't waste time killing the dishonored knight, for there was still Morgan to contend with. He kicked Henry just once. The blow was well placed and powerful enough to knock the breath out of the soldier.
Morgan had finally come within range of Nicholaa's stone. The vassal's arrow was nocked to his bow. Royce wouldn't be able to get to him in time. Neither would any of the other soldiers who were now running onto the field. Everyone was still too far away.
Morgan had slowed his mount. He raised the bow and took aim.
So did Nicholaa. Her target was his arm. She wanted to knock the arrow out of his grasp before he tried to kill her husband.
Just as she dispatched the stone, Morgan twisted in his saddle. His arrow wasn't directed on Royce now, but on another target altogether.
A collective scream came from the crowd. Then the stone caught Morgan on the side of his head, slamming into his temple. Morgan was lifted from the saddle and thrown backwards. He was dead before he hit the ground.
Everyone seemed to freeze in position. Everyone but Royce. While the crowd stared at Morgan, he turned to look up at the hill where Nicholaa stood.
She promptly hid the sling behind her back. She couldn't see his expression, but she knew he'd guessed she was responsible.
Guy drew Royce's attention then. The baron walked toward Royce. An arrow protruded from his shoulder. Royce went to help Guy leave the field.
Nicholaa didn't stand there watching a minute longer. She went back inside the tent, replaced the sling and the one remaining stone in Royce's packet, and then sat down to wait for the lecture she was sure was coming.
She'd interfered. That was probably how Royce would begin his lecture. Then he'd tell her that it simply wasn't acceptable to kill another baron's vassal.
She would interrupt him, of course, and tell him she didn't care about anyone but him. Yes, she'd defend her actions, and in the end, he would certainly agree.
Nicholaa worked herself into quite a state of nerves in little time at all. She finally accepted the real reason she was so upset: she had killed a man. She'd never taken a life before, and she never wanted to again. Yet she knew she would if it was the only way to protect her husband.
Lord, she was exhausted. She stretched out on the cot and closed her eyes. An expectant mother shouldn't have this kind of excitement, she decided, and she was going to tell Royce just that if he dared to even frown at her.
She could be thankful for one small blessing, she supposed. Royce was the only one who knew about the sling. She knew from the way he'd turned to look up at her that he'd already concluded she'd interfered. Still, he was as loyal to her as she was to him. He wouldn't tell anyone.
When Royce came into the tent an hour later, Nicholaa was sound asleep. He sat down beside her and stared at her angelic face for a long while. He knew she needed her rest, but he was going to have to wake her. He stroked the side of her face.
"Nicholaa? Wake up, love."
She opened her eyes and looked up at him.
"I love you, Nicholaa," he whispered.
Her head cleared. "I interfered. Are you angry?"
"No."
She didn't let him go on. "I'm not sorry. No matter how many lectures you give me, I still won't be sorry. I do have faith in you, Royce, but Morgan could still have put an arrow through your heart all the same."
"Sweetheart---"
"Why did you bring my sling?" she interrupted.
"I thought, if there was time, you'd show me how to use it," he admitted.
"I killed him, Royce." Tears filled her eyes.
He gently gathered her into his arms and soothed her.
"Is Baron Guy going to be all right?"
"Yes," Royce answered. "The dispute was settled when he put himself in front of me and took the arrow. It was an act of contrition, I think, for past offenses. Guy won't be training soldiers any longer. He admits he doesn't have the temperament for the duty."
She nodded. "Why did his vassals attack? They must have known they wouldn't get away with such treachery."
"The king had already sentenced them to die," he explained. "They didn't have anything to lose." Royce didn't go into the reasons behind the king's decision. Nicholaa had had enough excitement for one day, and there was more to come tonight.
"Royce, you won't tell anyone I killed Morgan, will you? Promise me," she demanded.
"I promise." He almost laughed. Nicholaa had obviously forgotten about Clayton the herald.
"The king would be upset," she whispered. "I didn't deliberately kill the man, but William might not understand that. Morgan turned at the last second; he must have changed his mind. It was too late, though. I'd already dispatched my stone."
"He didn't change his mind, only his target."
She let out a sigh. "I want to go home," she said.
Royce would give her what she wanted. They would leave for home the following morning. Nicholaa was forced to endure a little more excitement that evening. She stood next to Royce in front of the entire gathering while Clayton the herald, whose only duty in life was to poke his nose into everyone else's affairs, once again sang the legend of Lady Nicholaa. She stayed calm until Clayton sang the newest verses. She heard the word "sling" and let out a low groan. Royce laughed. His wife had finally remembered where Clayton had been standing when she'd intervened.
The king came forward and embraced Nicholaa. Matilda hugged her next. Nicholaa found out then that the king had been Morgan's target. She hadn't realized until that minute exactly what she'd done. She reacted to all the attention by edging closer to Royce's side and blushing pink.
It seemed an eternity passed before he was finally able to take Nicholaa back to their tent. He was as eager to go home as she was. He wanted to work on the black queen. It had to be finished---perfect, too---before their baby was born.
It suddenly dawned on him how radically she had changed his life. He'd learned how to love, and was loved in return.
Good times as well as bad times lay ahead of them. There was still Thurston to deal with, but Royce knew his wife would stand by his side no matter what happened.
He glanced down at the beautiful woman climbing the hill at his side. He was filled with such contentment. Because he was a logical man, he tried to make sense out of what had happened to him. Nicholaa had made such blissful chaos out of his drawn map of life. He tried to reason it through.
Then he put the question to her.
Nicholaa laughed before answering him. "It's very simple, my love. You never had a chance." She reached up to pat the tiny scar on his forehead. Then she laughed again.
Royce lifted her into his arms and held her close. He would let her believe she had caught him. He knew better, though. He'd set out to capture a legend.
And that was exactly what he'd done.

