I don’t have a lot to say here because I live in a mixed political home and so things are always a bit tense here after election day, but I will say that we can all stand together as one nation in hatred of that sound you get when you try to erase something, but you don’t have any eraser left and so the metal part of the pencil squeals over the paper and then accordions it all up. I think we can all agree that that shit needs to stop. Also, overuse of the word “moist” and the word “panties.” People using the phrase “moist panties” should have to spend two weeks in community service replacing worn pencil erasers. The end.
But not really because I had too much caffeine and can’t stop writing. So instead I’ll share a bunch of shit I wrote that wasn’t funny enough to publish alone, in hopes that it gets funnier algebraically.
True story: I get these emails from Amazon recommending local stuff they think I’d be into. In the last week I’ve been offered special deals on Beekeeping Classes, Handgun Practice, Permanent Makeup and Reflexology/Zip Line…which just sounds dangerous. I can’t tell if they really know me, or if they really don’t know me at all.
Yesterday this thing happened to me that so blew my mind that I freaked out and called everyone I knew to tell them about it but then it turns out that I can’t write about because (swear to God) it might endanger the well-being of The Doctor and myself. I have never in my entire life wanted to write about anything so much and it’s killing me inside. I don’t have anything funny to add here but just pretend that I just proved without a shadow of a doubt that a possible real-life Time Lord and I spent some quality time together talking about testicles and I have pictures to prove it that I can never show. And this is exactly why being a companion must be so bloody hard.
My friend Edwin sent me this tweet:
And I thought it was weird that he would send me something so rude that twitter would actually hide the image from me, but I went ahead and changed my settings to let even the most horrific images come through and then I clicked it again.