HI GUYS. Did you have the best weekend ever? Are you so mad that you’re at work again? Well don’t even worry, because there’s a lot of fun stuff happening tonight to take your mind off it, okay? For example, THE BACHELOR is back starting tonight, which is EXACTLY what all of you were waiting for, RIGHT?! Totally. So here are some GIFs of that one girl Courtney to strike fear into your hearts as you read about tonight’s agenda!
- Since we were just talking about it, let’s discuss a viewing party for The Bachelor that’s being hosted by the Urban Girl Squad! “What is the Urban Girl Squad, Megan?” Don’t you remember?! They’re that organization that SOUNDS like a ragtag bunch of female crime-fighters, but which is ACTUALLY a ragtag bunch of female life enthusiasts who like to go surfing and learn about beekeeping and that sort of thing. And they apparently believe in safety in numbers when watching The Bachelor, so if you’re of the same mentality, maybe consider forking over $10 to participate in tonight’s event.
- “The Bachelor is the worst show of all time, Megan.” OH MY GOD I KNOW. So now that I don’t have to tiptoe around it anymore, let’s talk about other stuff to do! If you’re still into the idea of watching stuff on the big screen, maybe head to Huckleberry Bar for tonight’s movie, aka “Big Trouble in Little China,” because Kurt Russell. (And 2-for-1 drinks, plus free popcorn.)
- Did the mention of “free popcorn” just remind you that you are STARVING? Well good news; we can all swing by The Homestead to eat an eff ton of Raclette while LEARNING how to make Raclette. CHEESE IS SO COMPLEX!
- “I am lactose-intolerant, Megan.” I am so, so sorry. But are you vegetarian? If you said “No,” then I would suggest you head to Laconda Verde for a four-course meal of wild game dishes. For example, there will be poached duck eggs, wild boar and hare ravioli, rabbit sausage, roasted venison, wild pheasant, etc. IT’S LIKE A DOMESTIC SAFARI FOR YOUR STOMACH.
- If you don’t currently have $155, though, then probably skip that last thing and instead head to some poor-people-approved stuff. For instance, we can pop over to the Westway for The Rice and Peas Party, aka a free open bar from 11pm-midnight.
- For even MORE free booze, we can head to Bar 13 at midnight, which is when THEIR free open bar situation begins.
- Too late for you? Maybe put a little effort into your getup and zip over to Beaumarchais for free cocktails and free snacks from 7:30pm-10:30pm. NOT BAD.
- Or maybe you’re still going strong with your “I-am-not-drinking-on-the-weekdays” resolution, in which case you should not go to ANY of the last three things and INSTEAD go to see Wale at Bowery Ballroom. (At $40 it’s not exactly free, but maybe that’ll help deter you from spending the extra cash on impulse booze.)
Okay, so that’s your Monday as far as I’m concerned, but feel free to school me in what I left out via Twitter @BYTNYC and/or in the comments section. BYE!