chlamydia infection
"So, I started seeing this new guy after getting out of a 2 year relationship. I figured to get a clean slate and know I'm 100% clean considering my last boyfriend cheated on me. So, I went and got tested only to find out that not only did he cheat on me, he also got chlamydia from this chick. Great. 
So, my doctor prescribed me two 500mg pills. "Take both pills at the same time and you'll be clean in 7 days" 
Ok pretty sweet deal right? 
NOT. 2 hours after taking this medication, I am GLUED TO MY TOILET! It literally feels like fire is coming out of my butt. It feels like Satan himself is being born out of my butt or maybe fireworks are coming out of there. So, thanks ex boyfriend for giving me chlamydia."