bipolar disorde
"I am 40. I was diagnosed bipolar 15 years ago. My mania manifests itself as aggression/rage. My rage has been a problem since I was young. My violent outbursts consisted of me punching myself, bashing my head against walls and other horrifically embarrassing and dangerous actions. I was extremely verbally abusive to anyone unfortunate enough to be near me during my rages. I have been on many meds throughout my life. Every benzo. Mellaril. Thorazine. Every SSRI. Depakote. Lithium. NOTHING curbed my rage. In fact - SSRI meds INTENSIFIED my rage. 10 years ago, my psychiatrist put me on 20mg of Abilify. Within 4 days - I felt like I could finally breathe. My rage literally disappeared. But I don't feel "zombie-ish" like with other meds."