<prompt> Translate the following text to EnglishTofauti na Kern na juu yake paradoxically juu ya chini yake, maskini mzee Porter anapata hakuna sifa kwa kuwa na chini yake paradoxically juu yake.  <response>: Unlike Kern with his top paradoxically on his bottom, poor old Porter gets no credit for having his bottom paradoxically on his top. 