<prompt> Human: Hi, so I just moved back in with my parents. My mom will take my rent portion and immediately spend it. My dad told me this morning that he knows he will work until he dies. I want my money to go to their bills and I suggested a separate account for my rent to go into, is their anything else I can do? Ive communicated, but it breaks my heart that my Dad wont get to have retirement because of my Moms irresponsibility. They are not financially savvy, neither am I, so any suggestions will help.EDIT: I came here for financial tips, but it has come clear that this is a relationship problem. Thank you for your advice, I have taken it all to heart and I hope my family and I can work it out.Assistant: You cant fix other people.You could pay their rent directly, but then shed just spend other money.I doubt this is news to your dad. Human: Its the truth. Ultimately each person is responsible for their own actions and choices, and no one will change unless they want to.A tactical approach has no chance of getting through to your mom and dad - one way or another the money will get spent.Obviously youre still concerned and want to help. My suggestion would be to sit the two of them down and express your concerns. Not in a way to beat them down, but let them know that you are worried about them. You want them to be able to retire comfortably and with dignity, and the behavior you see makes you concerned that they will not be able to do so. What they do with your concerns is up to them entirely, and unfortunately they are entitled to make decisions that disappoint you.At some point you may need to decide if you want to enable the behavior by continuing to live with them and pay rent.Assistant: Its just hard because they are financially a unit. He wants to change, she claims to be an adult and can spend her money freely. My father has never had a bank account of his own, but I support him on getting one. We have only casually talked about rent, but I think a more formal approach will help. Thank you for your response, I will use a lot of your wording concerned, not beating them down and hopefully it will reach them.Human: Creating separate accounts will do nothing.If you put your rent in some rent only account, that will just be less money that the mother coughs up for rent and however much you put in then she can spend that from another account because it doesnt go for rent from that account.It sucks, but the only fix is for the mother to want to change.Assistant: My reasoning would be accountability. She isnt shiesty, just irresponsible. If we were able to highlight and point out how much she used, I think it would get to her. But youre right if she wants to spend shell take from the joint account. My Dad has no bank account of his own, but we talked this morning of him getting one. They were young parents and we are all kind of grasping at straws. At least I feel that way.  <response>: Everybody does their best to achieve their personal goals. Its much easier when you are single to do this. Nobody is there to tell you that you are wrong.When you get married, you have to make your way to some kind of middle ground acceptable to both people in order to have peace. The middle ground they reached, in your judgement, is that its OK if the wifemother wastes whatever money she can find. That was a status quo achieved between the parents that would generate relative peace.For better or for worse, they had achieved a status quo which the father had accepted work until he dies, continue to have less money than was otherwise possible, etc.You are getting in the middle of that and claiming that the status quo is not OK. That actually puts you in conflict with BOTH of them. Maybe more in conflict with one than the other, but you are disrupting both of their status quos.Its not really about being young parents or anything like that. Its about an innate desire to have more stuff now. People who have kids young are perfectly capable of saving money. Those two things are completely unrelated. I wouldnt spend too much time trying to equal that out.Where your efforts would be best spent is trying to prove to them that they are harming themselves, both of them, and you have to prove to them that they need to get rid of the old status quo and create a new one.That will be painful for both, and probably create a lot of resistance. The dad will be inclined to return to a place near to the one he left. It needs to be discouraged for your objectives to be achieved him being able to retire.In old age, there is no path to retirement by going from saving nothing to saving 5m. Probably also not at a young age unless one is risky and exceedingly lucky. He knows how to achieve peace, even if it means he cant ever retire. He will value that peace highly. He has already shown that he values that peace more than he values retiring.All this getting a new bank account stuff doesnt really move the status quo. Thats why a lot of people believe it will change nothing.Maybe you are right that tallying expenses and proving how much money she spends will do something. Having or not having another bank account is also completely unrelated to this. It can be done just fine without a new bank account.All I am trying to say is that you should focus your efforts in the right direction and make sure they are efforts that will achieve your goals. You may be wasting your time either way. That is outside your control. If your parents cant find a new status quo on spending, no matter what you do its all wasted effort.At the very least, though, you want to be doing something that can achieve your goal, rather than just doing whatever and hoping that it will get you to the right place. You should ensure that it makes logical sense that the steps taken would lead to the objective being achieved. Dont just take steps that arent well thought out in order to take steps. 