<prompt> Human: We currently give my wifes mother 400 every month to help her out with normal expenses. She certainly needs it, and we want to help. The problem is that my mother in law gives a large portion of it to my wifes brother and his girlfriend. They are good people but havent had to grow up and look for handouts from the family, even at age 35 and 30. My wife and I want to see them succeed in life and think getting cutoff off financially and being forced to move out of my wifes parents basement is a needed step. Does anyone have any experience with this? I wish there was a way to make sure that any money we give to my wifes disabled mom only goes to her for things like food and other necessities.  <response>: I wish there was a way to make sure that any money we give to my wifes disabled mom only goes to her for things like food and other necessities.Then dont give cash. You can go grocery shopping with them or offer to take over a bill. That wont stop them from giving other cash they get to their kid, but it may make you feel better knowing your MIL is getting the necessary bills paid first. 