<prompt> Human: We have a budget, but run over with expenses. We have 3 children, so with preschool, activities, groceries, baby food, extra medical... we often live with a deficit. Personally, I try hard to not spend extra money. I read a lot of self-help books about finances, and better habits. Ive reduced lunch expenses, and rarely buy anything for myself. My wife is the same - she rarely buys anything for herself, but she is less tight with extras. She loves to shop for the children and pick up questionable items. By questionable items I mean, holiday birthday items and gifts, extra equipment and photo packages for kids activities, replace-and-not-repair-items... My question is, how can I influence change on her if she doesnt realize how much shes spending? Ive tried to show her how much she spends at the grocery store - I now do a lot of the shopping, but if I forget something she returns back to the store, which results in double-trips. So how do I influence change in spending habits without acting like a jerk and constantly fighting about money? I am aware of the live off cash method, but this also causes tension and disagreement. Thanks!  <response>: So you arent doing a budget. A budget has two parts, making the plan and executing the plan. The execution part requires you to be honest in what you are expecting to spend assigning only 100 for a monthly food budget is unrealistic and will lead to failure every time, but also being disciplined to spend only what you have budgeted for. That means putting down the pack of Oreos in the grocery store because you dont have enough in the food budget to include them. You need to make choices about where you spend your money. 