<prompt> Human: Long time lurker, first time poster sorry for the text wall. Im in a unique situation and am hoping Reddit can help motivate me to put a plan in action!Im 28f and my SO is MUCH better off financially than me. Ive made it my goal to be debt free ifwhen we decide to get married weve discussed 2016, so 24ish months. Im having a hard time trying to save and pay down my debt while he so generously provides a very different lifestyle for us. He almost always treats me to meals, nights out, vacations, clothing, etc. so I dont balk at picking up the occasional carry-out tab or giving him small bills for the valet, etc. This makes budgeting very difficult!Im pretty financially savvy despite my debt situation, cut costs where I can and have used Mint.com since June 2010, but I just dont see how I can try to live bare bones like so many posters suggest in order to get ahead. However, I do want to be debt-free, and dont need to focus on traditional expenses, savingsemergency fund or long-term retirement like most, so I have a decent amount of income to work with. So here it goes... please advise!nbsp;Income: averagemonth YTD4,650 - bartending, post-tax hourly plus tips825 - remote work from previous full-time job, post-taxnbsp;Expenses:91 - health insurance408 - car payment241 - student loan minimums283 - credit card minimums been paying 1,300 since March to try to beat balance transfer expirations100 - Roth IRA contribution220 - carrental insurance shopped around and switched in Jan., just auto renewed and dropped a few dollars52 - Northwestern Mutual disability and term life insurance after searching PF, sounds like this is a joke. I plan to cancel ASAP once I get the guts to face my advisor...120 - gas100 - personal care40 - petI obviously spend more than this food, clothing, entertainment, etc., but its all extremely variable.As Im in my late 20s and live away from family and friends, I have bachelorette parties, weddings, travel, gifts, etc. Ive turned them down or picked-and-chose events in the past for being too expensive, but the next few upcoming ones, I dont feel I can skip.nbsp;Assets:3,650 - basic checking account varies from close to 0-4k, average 1.5-2k or just enough to cover revolving bills2,775 - basic savings account4,493 - Roth 401k, still a part-time employee, not eligible for match, not contributing anymore but also cant rollover or cash out until no longer employed here8,570 - Roth IRA7,297 - Traditional IRA14,900 - 2012 vehicle, 40k miles, not an option to sellnbsp;Debts:2,206 - Visa this is how I pay for gas, groceries, everything and then pay off in full every month from checking so this reflect the last statement current spending1,800 - rent to current roommate moving out sooner but committed through October1,143 - Discover transfer A 0 through 820142,575 - Discover transfer B 0 through 1220147,014 - Mastercard 0 through 220155,510 - Discover transfer C 0 through 420158,478 - grad school student loan A7,999 - grad school student loan B1,943 - grad school student loan C21,857 - Wells Fargo car loan4,400 - personal loan, no set timeline. SO has offered to cover so its off my back strained relationship with Dad, but I want to try to do it on my own.nbsp;Misc. thoughts:I know you shouldnt touch retirement accounts, but that 20k would go a long way for me, and its a drop in the bucket once its our money for our future. Am I an exception?nbsp;EDIT:Spending breakdown:I try to spend as little cash as possible and put it all in the bank this is most of my income. I put everything on this card and pay it in full from checking. I know this is a bad habit, but Ive literally lived like that for 15 years. I have a worse problem wasting cash thats sitting in my purse. I think I need to catch up a few thousand before I can start paying cash for everything or my checking account will be 0. Heres whats on my Visa from June. I wouldnt say this is typical, but not totally out of line.425 - Shopping only do this every few months and dont usually spend this much, I think SO gave me a bonus that covered some of it8 - Netflix canceled now196 - Food groceries, going out, drinks59 - Chiropractor cancelled auto-debit plan but need to continue going occasionally71 - Gifts brother and best friends bdays154 - PetPersonal Care169 - Travel booked a flight for upcoming bachelorette party during sale65 - Entertainment Groupon that will save us 12 on an attraction for date night65 - Gas Assistant: You really need to list all of the expenses since your income and expenses make it seem like you should have tons of left over income to use to chip away at that debt. You make 5500 post tax which is a very decent salary, and you only list 1600 in expenses. Based on this, you should be able to pay off 50k of your debt in 12 moths : So I think the first thing you need to do is list your average food, shopping, entertainment expenses. These are generally the best places to find ways to reduce expenses, but you need to figure out how much spend first. I guess the other question is do you expect any salary changes anytime soon?That being said, you are going to be married very soon, and the realities of your finances will obviously change too. The point being that you should talk to your SO and come up with a plan on how you guys as a family should best go about paying off the debt. Also, Id strongly advise against touching those retirement accounts. 20k in tax advantage accounts is certainly not a drop in the bucket over 30 years, historical trends say that after taking inflation into account, that 20k will grow to be 152k. Of course past permanent doesnt guaranteed yada yada. Human: June expenses added. I plan to go back through since January for my own benefit but hopefully this helps a little.Assistant: Thanks, this is a much better start for people to give advice for. Expect some pretty vitriolic comments on that shopping bill : Also, expect lots of people demanding the breakdown of the shopping bill. Good luck, stay strong.But yes, obviously those June expenses are exactly where you can focus on your financial improvement. Were the pet bills for a vet? Or just grooming and food? Many places have cheap monthly pet clinics you can look into. Or you can give you pet a showerhaircut by yourself. Human: I figured as much... however, say I only do this once a quarterseason, its much more reasonable. I rent dresses for special occasions instead of buy something I will wear once. I almost always buy on sale. Relative to the 3k yacht jacket and 400 sunglasses that were SOs most recent shopping purchase, Im not out of line Im not kidding when I say hes pretty set. Yes I know Im broke and hes not, but I also have a hard time not getting myself anything new. More justifying: I moved across the country to a completely different climatestyle so I cant just continue to wear all my old stuff. If I told him I wasnt getting something, he would insist on paying so I could get it. I dont share his expensive tastes unless he gets me a gift, so I dont feel right saying, Ok I like this x dress and x shoes, pay up.  <response>: Youre making an irrational decision and rationalizing it afterwords, listen to the excuses you give yourself I only do this once a quarterseasonWell now you should stop, you cant afford it, you can spend again when youre not in the hole for over 50 grand. were SOs most recent shopping purchase, Im not out of lineThats like me saying Well Richard Branson bought a private island so I can buy this thing from amazon I dont need, what do his purchases have to do with yours? He didnt live outside his means for a long time, he makes purchases he can afford, additionally, his purchases are irrelevant to yours. moved across the country to a completely different climatestyle so I cant just continue to wear all my old stuff.So you either moved cold to hot, in which case put your coats in the closet, or you moved hot to cold, in which case Ill bet you own a coat you can use already.This is just the part of you that caused you to spend outside your means trying to explain why it should be allowed to continue. 