<prompt> Human: Over the last year, my wife and I got married, had a baby, and bought our first house together. Needless to say weve been through a LOT of changes and have been struggling to get our finances on track for a while now. Specifically, weve been struggling to control our spending.For most of our time together, we had a dual income 90k per year, no kids, and relatively low rent 1k per month. During that time, we always talked about getting the spending under control, but had more than enough income to cover for our bad habits, so although we werent really saving anything like we should have been, we werent really falling behind either. Now that she isnt working and we have a larger housing cost 1600 per month mortgage, and a baby, I am starting to get the feeling that we are falling behind.She and I come from drastically different backgrounds. My parents have always had a high income about 200k a year combined, but also always lived paycheck to paycheck and never got ahead. I dont know how many times I heard them say they had to wait until payday to buy groceries. It blew my mind that it was even possible to live paycheck to paycheck with that high of an income, but they managed. Fortunately for them, they both have government pensions, so they should be able to keep the game going in retirement.Although I have said hundreds of times I dont want to end up like them, I am essentially in the same position today. If there is money in my bank account, I will spend it. I just feel like I totally lack self control in this regard. I come up with a meal plan and spend 150 at the grocery store for the week, then two days later I am ordering pizza because I dont feel like cooking. I tell myself again and again that Im going to quit caffeine and nicotine - that its a vice I cant afford - then 2 days later I am back at 711 throwing away 15 on Red Bull and Snus.My wife came from a household with much more modest means, and is naturally more thrifty and prudent with money. But she also isnt very good at saying no to my impulses. She also hates budgeting. Whenever I try to have budget meetings with her or start something like the envelope system, she gets frustrated because she doesnt like the structure. Honestly, she really doesnt seem to care much about money. She seems to have that attitude that regardless of what happens, well find a way to survive.I have set a budget of 1,100 a month for discretionary expenses - food and supplies, gas, entertainment, etc.- which seems perfectly reasonable on paper. But last month, we spent a total of about 2,500 on these things. We spent 464 at restaurants and convenience stores - both things that are completely unnecessary and I want to eliminate - but even when I take them away, I am nowhere close to meeting my 1,100 a month budget.At times, I think that perhaps 1,100 a month is unreasonably low, but then I see stories on the internet of people getting by on much less. The truth is, right now, 1,100 a month is all we have left to spend on those things. Its all thats left in the budget after bills. I know that we cant live in the red forever, and eventually a day of reckoning will come. Weve been able to do it over the short term because of wedding gifts and a large bonus from work, but eventually that money will run out. I just feel discouraged because after months of trying, I havent even come close to meeting my 1100 a month goal. And thus, I have an all or nothing attitude, and most days dont even try. I spend half my life making spreadsheets and worrying about money, and the other half of my life saying fck it and spending money like a drunken sailor.I am not sure what the point of this post is. Im just hoping there are other people out there who have been through the same thing and can tell me how they turned it around. I want to turn it around before Im forced to turn it around because we are literally out of money. I want to shred the credit cards and live off of cash, but with a new house, Im terrified of something breaking and not being able to pay cash to fix it. A 1,000 emergency fund seems like so little now that Im a homeowner, but I know if I keep anything more than that in the bank Ill end up spending it. I just feel so hopeless.Assistant: Here is a snapshot of my monthly budget if anyone wants more detail:Income after Taxes: 4k Housing Utilities: 2000 Discretionary Expenses: 1100 Debt Payments: 700 Gym Membership: 150 Entertainment Spotify Audible Netflix Hulu: 50I know people will point to the gym membership as the most obvious thing to eliminate, but this is non-negotiable to my wife. We cancelled the membership while she was pregnant, but after she had the baby and was really struggling with postpartum depression, she begged me to rejoin the gym, because they also have a daycare there and she gets an hour a day break from being a mom. From a mental health perspective, I think she gets her moneys worth from the membership.Housing Utilities includes cell phone and internet, but we dont have cable. Im looking at switching to a cheaper cell phone plan.Discretionary expenses is by far the biggest problem, even though I budget 1100, we usually spend closer to 2k.  <response>: You should list what all the discretionary expenses are by category. 