<prompt> Human: Long story short, my mother has a terminal illness and I am trying to plan ahead. She is getting worse and it is time to start thinking about what to do when the time comes.I am the middle child with two financially irresponsible siblings 21 yr old bro, 24 yr old me, and 28 yr old sister. My mom has appointed me to deal with anything financially when she passes. I want to make sure everything is handled fairly among my siblings. So, I am asking for your help.So about three years ago, my dad passed away. My mother received his life insurance of 200,000. She bought a Condo in a nice area and split up the remaining balance between her children. We each received about 30,000. Rant about siblings alert...skip to the TL;DR if you dont careMy sister is mentally ill bipolar, schitzo, etc. and does not work. She has no degree and only has experience as a bartender. She is currently milking every dime out of mother and does not help anyone but expects everyone else do do everything for her and then blames people trying to help her for her situation. She spent her 30k in less than 6 months and has nothing to show for it. Not to mention the thousands of dollars my mom has given her depleating her retirement accounts on top of that and also has some debt.On the other hand, my brother is in college. He is much more responsible, but for the past two years his controlling girlfriend has gotten the best of him. He lost most of his scholarships and wasted his 30,000 trying to make his never happy girlfriend happy. He now lives with his girlfriend 2 hours away and has basically alienated himself from the family and is not there to help out our mom. He claims to never have money and now he is having to work full time while going to school and Im not sure if he will stick with it.Im not going to lie, I used to be extremely frugal with money and once I got that 30,000 I wasted a lot of money on unnecessary things. Luckily I was in college at the time and I am so thankful that I have no debt. I recently graduated with an MBA undergrad in accounting. Naturally, I just know how to manage money better than my siblings. I now have a real job where I make decent money. So, I am trying to be wise and think about the future for my siblings as well as myself.Im not a saint and I dont want to seem like I am better than my siblings, because I most certainly am not. I do care for them and since I have the responsibility to handle the financials after my moms passing, I want to handle this fairly so that they can use the inheritance for the future.x200B;TL;DRWhat I expect after my moms passing:- I inherit her condo worth about 220,000 and am responsible to sell it and split the proceeds between my two siblings and me. My two siblings do not have a good reputation of being financially responsible.- She has no debt, that I am aware of, and has already depleted her retirement accounts. So unless I am missing something, the condo will be the only asset to worry about. - I am not expecting much, if any, from life insurance. If there is an amount then the same advice given for the sale of the condo will be taken into consideration- A family meeting is out of the question, my brother and sister do not speak to each other. I am blessed to be the mediator who rarely talks with either..x200B;Questions that I need help with:- Due to my siblings tendencies, should I try to handle the money for them rather than just split the proceeds 3 ways?- If so, how do I confront them without seeming like a jerk?- Ive considered just giving them their share, but I would feel responsible if they blew it. Are there any other avenues to consider, given that they dont want me handling it?- What are some questions I can ask my mom to help in this situation? - Should I ask her to outline it in a will or something of the sort? As far as I know she has just told me verbally and does not have a will. keep in mind my two siblings are easily offended and anything seen as unfair will cause turmoil- Am I just worrying too much? Any help is welcomed. I will try and answer any additional questions. P.S.Using a throwaway for basically no reason RIP Karma since the information is very specific and my siblings will probably see this post anyways. Look out for the TIFU thread whenever they see this one. Assistant: You need to talk to your mom and find out what SHE wants you to do. Personally I would get a lawyer and getting it in writing. This way your siblings can cause less of a fuss. If your mom wants to give you 100 of everything and let you deal with it as you see fit, she can, but it is her call. She could set it up so any money given to your Siblings cant be touched until retirement, again it is your moms call. The key is you have to get a plan and get it in writing.x200B; Due to my siblings tendencies, should I try to handle the money for them rather than just split the proceeds 3 ways? Why do you want that kind of headache? Give them what is theirs and let them live their life.Human: Thank you for your quick reply!I will definitely ask my mom what she wants me to do. She isnt really a personal finance expert and doesnt handle money very well. I guess thats why she wanted to put me in charge. I like your idea on setting up any money given not being able to be touched until retirement. I will bring that up to her ASAP. Why do you want that kind of headache? Give them what is theirs and let them live their life. I dont really, but I have a feeling that my conscious would make me feel responsible if they were to waste the money. I know I probably shouldnt but it is just my nature. They already see me as selfish, which might be justified, and I just want to go about this in a selfless manner.  <response>: Have your mom set up a meeting with a Trusts and Estates Attorney ASAP. Whatever legal fees she incurs are annoying, but it is way better than dealing with a headache after her passing. She can talk it through with the attorney and see what makes the most sense for her wishes. As the responsible one, she can delegate you as Trustee and ensure that your siblings arent able to blow their inheritance away. 