<prompt> Human: Since weve been engaged, we talk alot about our future such as buying a house, having kids, thinking about what city wed like to settle down in etc. Over the weekend while we were talking about it I told her we should sit down and set realistic goals so we can financially plan towards them.She was taken aback a bit and turned a little defensive because money has always been a touchy subject with us. Our money situation as always been whats mine is mine and whats yours is yours Shes afraid that I will constantly criticize her spending habits and gawk at her debt. I told her that if we want a house and kids we need to financially plan together and save for our future. I havent told her we should... you need to... but I just want to get her on board with planning together and not have her be so defensive.  <response>: Shes afraid that I will constantly criticize her spending habits and gawk at her debt.Shes probably aware that her spending habits are not the way they should be, and does not want you to bring it up. Try to make your conversation as non-accusatory as possible, and make it about the joint steps you both need to do in order to position yourself for the better financial future together. However, there is no way in hell Id get married until all of the financial details have been figured out and discussed. 