<prompt> Human: I know this is a questions for rrelationships but I figure this is an older more mature crowdAfter a recent credit card spending spree and dipping into our living expenses account to buy lunch, I had to put my foot down and demand access to all my fiances accounts and hand over all her credit cards. Im trying hard to restrain myself and not go from engaged to enraged. I really dont want to micro manage her like a little kid with an allowance but I feel like I have to now. This is after many talks about the importance of money and saving for our NEAR future dreams of a house and family. Shell straighten up for a month maybe 2 months and then go back to spending her entire paycheck. Weve been together for 8 years and just got engaged over the summer. Ive always had to lecture her about money but never felt I had the authority to control her money until after we got engaged. Does anybody else have to put their significant other on a financial leash to save themselves from their bad spending habits?Please save the comments about leave now while you can! and break up with her. I already know money is the 1 reason for divorces, but Im trying to prevent money breaking us apart before were married.Assistant: 1 Dont expect you should be 5050 in managing money. Nothing in relationships is 5050. Take cooking, for example - its probably 70her and 30 you. She doesnt expect to micromanage your cooking and grocery shopping - she just does the heavy lifting for you. Thats how it works. Shes in charge of one area, youre in charge of another.2 You to have had different upbringing and experiences with money. Maybe different values. Dont expect her to be EXACTLY like you, because it cant happen. And you dont really need her to be EXACTLY like you - shes your love, not your business partner, so dont treat her like one.3 Be patient. Give her time to catch up. It takes a while and you should have started as soon as you started dating, not wait 8 years when you get engaged.But its all workable. My husband and I had some issues see here and here but now were good. Well not great, but good, and were definitely making progress. Just keep those three things I wrote in mind. And remember - shes your love, not your accountant ; Human: You to have had different upbringing and experiences with money. Maybe different values. Before we were engaged, money was a bit of a touchy subject because of our upbringings. My parents arent rich but fairly well off by middle class standards. Compared to her I was privileged because I never had to worry about school loans or college living expenses. Her parents work lower paying jobs which forced her to take out school loans to pay for her college and living expenses. Over the years I could tell we both inherit our outlook on money from our parents. Im frugal but not cheap. I buy nice things but only on sale and usually save for it beforehand. When she wants something, shes very impulsive and is willing to blow her entire bank account or charge it. Ive seen it happen with her parents many times and I want to say dont end up like your parents but thats totally disrespectful.  <response>: She needs to learn the rewards of delayed gratification :- 