<prompt> Human: tl;dr:My ex partner 50M and his son 23M dont have that much money. His son usually doesnt work and currently lives rent free in my home, but Im considering helping him more financially by perhaps buying him a car or helping him to rent his own apartment closer to his new job. My son 16M thinks hes a mooch and that, as a 23 year old, he should fend for himself but my daughter is the same age and I along with my ex support her financially while she is abroad at university. In the interest of fairness, I feel like I should give him the same type of help but Im somewhat conflicted because, even though I love him, hes never been particularly motivated and I dont want it to become a crutch.. I really dont want money to make my relationship with them awkward, but I also want to help the people I love.What do you think? What are your thoughts on helping stepchildren or adult children in general financially? Is it unfair to give your own children more money than your stepchildren?Super-extended versionMy partner 50M and I 45F arent married but weve been in a relationship for over 10 years and I consider him to be my husband in all but name and his children to be my stepchildren.Our situation is somewhat more complicated because there is a huge financial imbalance in our relationship. Between my salary and income from properties and investments, I probably earn around 250,000 post-tax each year. My partner had a small antiques business that he brought him a lot of joy but was never exceptionally profitable. In the face of rising rents, he closed the shop a few years ago. Hes highly educated but hes had difficulty finding regular employment at his age and sold his home at the end of last year in order to shore up his finances. He found a part-time job and makes a fairly modest income 27,000year. His younger son 23M is very nice and actually quite smart but he was never a very motivated student has had some legal troubles. Since graduating high school, he has sort of bounced around doing odd jobs but never really found consistent employment.They both moved in with me and my son after they sold their house and I viewed it as a means to help them both get back on their feet. The cost of living in our area is extremely high and housing tends to be one of the biggest expenses. My partner has offered, but I told him not to help with any of the households monthly bills or paying for food and to instead focus on saving. I dont charge my stepson for rent and pay him 150 per week to take care of our garden. My stepson recently got a job on the other side of the city and he seems to be enjoying it. But he doesnt have a car and the commute by public transport is extremely long so he says hes contemplating quitting. My partner and I really dont want him to because he actually likes the job and it seems like it could lead to a long term career for him, so Ive been contemplating buying him a new car. However, I think that might upset my son. My son is shy while my stepson is much more boisterous and there has been some conflict between the two since my stepson started living with us. He thinks that my stepson is a moocher because, despite being legally an adult, he works only sporadically and doesnt pay rent or contribute financially to the household. I understand his point but since Im in a position to, I like the thought of helping him because I would do the same for my own children.My daughter who lives in London is a graduate student with very little income. Shes the same age as my stepson and my ex and I help her with her rent, bought her a car last year, and give her about 1,500 dollars a month for living expenses.Since theyre they same age, sometimes I feel as if I should support my stepson financially in the same way as I do my daughter but I dont know what to do.  <response>: Buy a used car, safe, economical, with the input of his father. Have a limited budget, maybe 6-7K for a used Accord or something. Put the title in the fathers name, insure it with the step-son listed as the primary driver. Tell the son that he is responsible for paying the insurance premium, gas, and maintenance. which will come from the large allowance youre giving him weekly. You can help with the upfront capital costs, and he can use his income to support his improved lifestyle. Another thing you can do to help him visualize his independence is have his dad sit down with him and make a budget showing his income and expenses over the next year, and how his goals possibly moving out, a trip, etc. fits in. It will hopefully keep him motivate to keep working and saving. If he ends up falling a little short for his goal deposit on apartment, etc. I think it would be okay for you to help out again. 