<prompt> Human: Thought about posting this in relationship advice, but I think its better here. I want to think objectively about this and find something thats fair.Im 28, hes 30. He moved in with me about 6 months ago, and hasnt paid a single thing or offered to help with any expenses at all. We split date nights 5050, so its not like he spends money on me that I dont spend on him. I buy all the groceries. He will go buy his personal stuff like shampoo and what not, but every time I go shopping I ask if he needs something and Ill buy it for him. I never ask him to get me anything.He rented before he moved in with me, so hes spent a decade or so knowing how to pay rent and bills. After he moved in, i just assumed hed help me with bills but he never mentioned it and neither did I. Stupid, I know.He makes more money than I do and has less bills. I live practically paycheck to paycheck but I get by. I think its fair to ask him to contribute. So heres where my problem is.I have a 9yr old daughter and I bought my house, I dont rent. She doesnt have a dad and I dont get child support at all, if that matters here So, hes not a 5050 roommate, hes sharing it with me and her, so I figured he should pay 13 of the bills. Here are the average living expenses:Water 70.00 Lights 150.00 Gas 30.00 DirecTV 85.00 Internet 45.00 TOTAL 350.00 Asking him to pay 13 of that would be asking for 116 and that just feels silly because its not a lot. I also pay 1000 mortgage and 100 for lawn care, but I wouldnt feel right asking him to contribute to that. We do talk about getting married one day and want to stay together forever so theoretically, my house could be his too at one point, so I guess it doesnt matter that I pay for it all.I just feel a bit used that Im housing him and my kid and he gets to live rent free and bill free, and the only reason we have DirecTV is because he wanted it... Im starting to get resentful when he buys himself expensive toys and I have no money left over to buy myself anything.Advice? Should I just ask for the 116? EDIT Thanks everyone for the advice. The general consensus here is to ask for at least the 116, and most likely more. Yes, I know I have horrible self esteem issues, but spending 9 years as a single mom with a complex to be successful and not live up to the teen mom stereotypes left me feeling like I always need to prove myself worthy of things. I am going to talk with him after work today and ask him how he feels about our finances since weve been living together. Hopefully it goes well... if he gets mad, I might just point him to this thread. UPDATE Okay heres my update... When he came home from work, I of course, panicked, and didnt say anything. Then as the night went on, he asked a couple times if something was bothering me, probably because I am bad at hiding my feelings. I said no and shrugged it off. And I felt shitty for being such a coward and I actually thought about Reddit and how yall want answers and that gave me absolutely NO confidence at all, so thanks Reddit. THEN, he mentioned some client at work had talked about a possible job opportunity he wanted to look into, and he eventually said something like, It would pay more money so thats cool. So I took my opportunity and said, Itd be awesome if you make even more money, then you could start helping me with bills and stuff.The way I said even more money was kind of a dead giveaway that I was being moody about it so he asked what does that mean??? And I told him he makes decent money now and if he made more then he could help me pay bills. He said if I need help I should just tell him. ... all freaking nonchalantly like its no big deal and like Im an idiot for not knowing that I could just tell him when I need money. He said something like, I thought youre good with money? And I said I am good with it in that Im proud of myself for not being in debt, which is something Im always proud of and have mentioned, so maybe he thinks I dont have money problems because Im not in debt?.. I said I have enough money to pay the bills but it bothers me when you buy toys and expensive watches and sunglasses and stuff and I cant buy a phone that I really want because I dont have any extra money, especially after paying DirecTV and stuff.Again, he said, If you need money just tell me, I can give you some money. And then he reached into his nightstand where, to my surprise, was a few wads of cash, and he took out a hundred dollar bill and held it out to me. He was trying to be helpful, I know, but it really annoyed me that theres 22.36 in my checking account right now and here he is with wads of cash in the nightstand. At this point, when hes holding out a 100 bill, I start crying because Im stupid. I also refuse to take the cash. We talked more, and I basically said that if we werent dating and we were just roommates, wed both pay rent and split bills. He argued that were not roommates because were in a relationship, so our money should be our money, and that if we were to split bills then itd devalue our committed, want-to-get-married romantic relationship and reduce us to just room mates. I said, if its our money, how come only my money pays the bills? He apologized and said hed help and that I just need to tell him how to help and hell help.It may also help to add in that hes dyslexic and hates paying his own bills so his mother helped him before we met to set up auto pay on his bills so that he never gets screwed by writing another backwards numbered check to one of his bills. So he doesnt really pay bills anymore, they just come out of his account magically without his help. Maybe this is part of why weve never mentioned my bills at my house??So, by then, I was exhausted as talking and confrontations are like pulling teeth for me, so I simply said okay thank you and we let it go. I know this isnt a solution yet, but at least the topic has been brought up. This morning while at work, he texted me saying we should go buy me a new phone today and hell pay for it. Whats funny is that my first thought is that he doesnt need to buy me anything, he needs to help with bills so that I have my own money to buy myself stuff. But I think thats his good faith way of trying to make things right. I really appreciate everyones advice and it was helpful hearing how other couples split their bills and take care of rent and living together. I know this battle isnt over yet, but Im printing out the last months utility bills and Im going to show it to him and ask if we can start sharing who pays the bills, namely the stupid direcTV one.Assistant: Ive been living with my boyfriend for about 5-6 months now. He still pays the bills hes always paid on the house. I, in no agreement, end up paying for the groceries. Our dates are split 5050. He obviously contributes more towards a roof over our heads than I do.Like your SO, I havent brought up the bills yet either.That being said - He was going to pay for those things regardless - With or without me. I am a positive presence in his life by keeping the fridge stocked, dinner on the table, laundry clean and folded, and the house more organized than hes ever known.Will it eventually come up? More than likely. Im certainly in no rush. He chose a cost of living that is much higher than I would have chosen for myself.Will I contribute when it does eventually come up? Yes. Of course. And on that day well also split the chores as well. I, too, have a 40 hour work week.Ninja edit: I would also like to add that perhaps it has not come up because you two havent had the official talk about moving in yet? My boyfriend and I have not had that talk yet. Im just there all the time.Human: Thanks for your reply, its interesting to hear your perspective. Our move in talk was something like, my lease is almost up. I was talking to my friend about renting a room from him since its close to work but he laughed and said Id probably move in with you and me, all starry-eyed and in love told him he totally should move in with me. It was wrong of me to assume, but since he was going to pay rent anyhow, I figured it would go to me. Also, Im sure your bf appreciates and notices the things you do around the house. In my case, I do all the cleaning and cooking and even wash, fold and hang up his clothes for him. He hasnt done a single thing around the house because I havent asked him to.. I dont mind though because I like keeping a clean house but in your case, all that work you do helps pay for you living there. Is there a reason you havent brought it up yet? Is it because its awkward? A huge part of me is hoping thats whats going on with my bf, and not that hes purposely taking advantage of me.  <response>: Your SO should contribute to the home. A portion of his pay has always been put aside for rent, food, utilities, etc. Hes already used to not having that money to spend so he should be thinking about putting that towards a home with you instead of look at all the extra money I have for all the expensive toys I want!His perspective: Hes been paying his way through life as an adult since he was 20 years old. New-found extra money and all the burdens of bills relinquished... Hes a free man and it feels great!But its been 6 months. Its time for him to start contributing fairly and equally. If he has a problem with that, youll have the answer you need.Its a subject that you two should be able to discuss. ALL of the household responsibilities. If you dont, the resentment will only continue to fester. Partnerships succeed when we find a way to communicate openly, lovingly, and my boyfriend has taught me without pride! Hes 31 and Im 27, btw.If thats difficult to do, maybe start with the DirectTV. It wasnt your idea anyway and thats a nice chunk of change each month that can go towards the groceries which have probably doubled since he got there anyway. A simple I think Im gonna discontinue DirectTV. Its a little much. Id rather see that 85 go towards groceries. What do you think? If he agrees - Great! If he disagrees - Great! He can pay for it! Alright, if you want it, why dont we get that switched into your name tonight? Sure am glad I brought it up before cancelling it. : 