<prompt> Human: A long a complicated post but worth it for anyone who likes giving advice to challenging issues. My wife and I have been married a year and the issues of money are driving a serious wedge in our relationship. Some background: we are due with our first baby in two months. I am working in a much larger city making 70k a year about 7 hours away from her due to extenuating circumstances. She is 40k in student loan debt. I am debt free and have 30k in savings. I am fine with the debt, but not with the fact that she is completely against discussing finances. We both want to buy a house, and median home prices are 200k in the area where she is and I intend to move. I try to discuss spending with her but she refuses at all costs. She was a big spender about 2 years ago and was buried in credit card debt. After a lengthy discussion back then, she curtailed her spending and is living within her means. However now she expects me pick up the discretionary spending that is beyond my means. I tell her I cannot afford to do so, and she has absolute meltdowns. She states that I am not compromising, but after bills I am left with a three to four hundred dollars a months, without paying for health insurance, putting away for retirement, life insurance, etc things that I am foolishly foregoing in order to build some type of financial cushion for the future. If we are out, and I tell her I cant swing buying something, she will go and buy it on a credit card and forego paying down any of her loans, or build any savings for our house purchase. She directs animosity toward me and states that I am not living life now and all I am is worried about the future. I implore her to sit with me and go over a budget. She absolutely refuses to set up a budget. Either saying I dont like that word, or tells me we are living apart so we should not have a budget. She says I am the only person she knows who doesnt have debt and I am extreme because of that because everyone has debt. Its getting progressively worse, and she has been destroying items and throwing things if I tell her I cant afford things. She told me I should not come up to see her because she is getting so worked up and she expects me to give her child support based on what government calculations to financially support her and our baby, instead of us sitting down and setting up a budget for support of them both. My attitude is that we are married and having a baby, I will be supporting her and our child and we should have a budget to plan for the future. It seems to me that she thinks budget deprivation and also sees it as a way for me to control her. I cannot even bring up to her that budget is a means to meet or future goals. I dont know how I can convey that we need to budget at least until we build an emergency fund after we through a down payment on a house.  <response>: Im sorry youre in this situation, but this is solidly in rrelationships territory, not a financial issue. 