<prompt> Human: Im hoping this forum can help me figure out the best steps forward in a somewhat complex situation. Im a 42 year old man, married and with 3 kids. My wife and I both work and have good incomes in California. We have a house and retirement funds and basically, have our finances in good order. I have a 70 year old father and 45 year old brother living together in Wisconsin. My father supports both of them on his retirement savings. They are both in poor health, due mostly to obesity. My brother was employed full time until about 4 years ago, and has been unable to find a job since. He has always lived with my father in a home that my father owns although I think there is a small second mortgage on the home. My fathers mobility is now very limited and the amount of time left for him to stay in the house, even with my brother to care for him is diminishing. While my brother has held a steady job for most of his life, his finances have always been a mess. He has no retirement savings and has a bad credit history, including creditors that are currently trying to collect from him. The only thing that protects him is the fact that he has no income. My fathers major asset is his home, and this is where it gets complicated. Years of poor maintenance has gotten the better of the home and from what I can tell, it is beyond repair foundation and framing issues. It hasnt been inspected or appraised, but my guess is that he would be better off putting the place up for auction rather than taking out a loan to repair it to make it sellable. The land itself is worth a reasonable sum as it is on a small lake and near enough to Milwaukee Chicago to make it an attractive location in a nice neighborhood. With my brothers obesity and sleep apnea, it is unlikely that he will work anytime soon; maybe never, but I also dont think he would qualify for a permanent medical disability. Getting him to improve his health is a constant struggle and I doubt it will improve enough while he is living with my father. My first thought is that with creditors after my brother, I should be appointed sole executor of my fathers estate, then I could give my brother the money he needs to survive off of that until the money runs out. After that, I would assume my wife and I would have him live with us unless he could miraculously find a job somehow, or he would go homeless which I obviously wont let happen. The thought of adding another adult to an already crowded house, where the kids are already sharing bedrooms gives my wife and me nightmares.Any other thoughts on things I should be doing now, and am I missing or underestimating the risks to my family here? Thanks in advance, kind strangers.  <response>: Just my opinion. If your father and brother are both still capable of handling their own affairs, dont take over anything until you have to. I think that people who caregive initially seriously underestimate the amount of time and resources spent on their loved ones. And I would not move your brother in, especially given your family situation. Talk with your father and your brother about what they want to do. See if you can help them, but ultimately you might have to let them make their own decisions, bad or good, for a while longer. Source: A little farther down a similar road, lose a lot of time off work, pay out lots of money in little dribs and drabs and am tired all the time. Caveat: Probably will see my own post here later as I have other problems. 