<prompt> Human: A quick tl;dr of how I got here, I moved in with my GF now wife a few years ago and I had zero CC debt, 15k in the bank, and 780-800 credit score. I then added her to credit cardss, didnt have the intestinal fortitude to tell her no, now I am in 35k CC debt. I have now finally taken the cards and moved all the money into my personal checking account, as well as all the re-occurring bills, and will be paying everything from there. I am not sure what the outcome of our marriage will be at this point, but thats not why Im here, just trying to provide potentially relevant information.Income: 44,000yr with bonuses of 2-3,000yr bring home 2,600mo pre-bonuses ---pay deductions: 200mo 401k, 300mo wifes health insurance mine is covered by firm Wife brings home 1,200mo plus some side work at a few hundredmo but contributes minimal, if anything, so dont count this into any payoff calculations at this time Usually 1,000-2,000 back with taxesNote: This ever-accumulating debt plus my marriage is mentally draining me right now, but once I am able to settle down and focus again, I will be able to get a license for work after about a years time that will bump my pay 25-40.Cashother: 4,500 personal checking account 1,000 personal savings 550 2nd personal savings account 43,000 401kDebts: 3,300 HELOC 7.38 5,000 limit 14,700 Home Equity Loan 6.63 15,000 loan originallyNote, the above loan will revert into the HELOC in about 2 years time as the loan was only good for 3 years. 7,755 CC1 14.24 and 100yr fee 8,000 limit 6,000 CC2 15.24 6,500 limit 3,853 CC3 22-24 4,000 limitCC3 was taken by new bank, cant recall new interest rate but its always been highest 87,600 Mortgage 5.25 purchased house for 100k, could sell for 130-140kNote sure of credit score, dont trust the free sites, but I think its in the 650-680 range, as of about 15 months agoExpenses: 171mo 95mo int chrg for CC1 min payment 121mo 74mo int chrg for CC2 min payment 125mo for CC3 min payment 835mo mortgage payment 144prin, 344int, 347escrow 100mo gas commute 60miday 5dayswk for work 75mo lunch 13mo MMO video game subscription 30-50mo take-out dinner 45mo dog food 150-200mo groceries 182mo electric 110mo water 100mo home equity loan 100mo HELOC 60mo life insurance 75mo car insurance wifes car 261mo car payment leased 2013 Sonata 50mo home security 80mo internet could save 20mo by downgrading 100mo lawn care 32mo pest control 125qtr HOA dues Mom pays my auto insurance Dad pays cell phoneTotals: 2,600 incomingmo, and 2,850 outgoingmo.Notes: The HELOC is 5,000 with the 3,300 used on it, so there is also 1,700 I could transfer into for a lower rate. I also have a CC4 with nothing on it, with 4,500 credit limit which recently offered a 5 balance transfer for like 15 months 0 interest if I remember the details correctly Wife doesnt have access to CCs or cash anymore so there will be no more unexpected holes in my budget bucketI appreciate your help and advice, and I know this is going to be a long road ahead, but I really want to get my financial life back under control.EDIT: Thank you for all your replies, I will still be checking on them as you all are constantly giving good advice. As of now, I havewill in the next week: downgraded internet - 20mo savings purchase refurbd lawnmower at Home Depot - 100mo savings after first 2 months cancel pest control - 32mo savings cancel life insurance - 60mo savings cancel security - 50mo savings remove myself from wifes car title and have her budget the insurance - 75mo savings payoff CC3 - 125mo savings be more conscience of food spending - 50mo savingsThis will save 500mo and barely push me back into the green. If my wife starts contributing, and all tax refunds and bonuses goes towards paying off the debt highest interest rate first I assume?, we should be on our way out of this hole.Thank you again!  <response>: It sounds like you already know this, but the only reasonable ways to fix this are 1 your wife starts putting in all her income into your communal budget or 2 you get your finances legally separated from hers so her unwillingness to live within her means doesnt screw you over any more.I know you want it to be option 1, but she has to want that as much as you do or this will just drag out until you give in and let her have another credit card or she finds a way to get one of her own. To encourage her participation and buy-in, plan a budget together that will get your back on solid financial footing; I understand you dont trust her to have access to your money or CCs, and Im not advocating that you change that, but if she feels like shes being treated like a child however justifiably, shes going to feel resentful and she wont be committed to getting out from under these debts. Shell need to feel like she has some inputcontrol over the budget. Figure out what shes been spending all that money on, and make sure the budget allows for some small measure of personal spending for her.There is room in your budget to economize, but the fat you can trim is practically negligible compared to the value of her income that for some reason you seem content not to have access to. 