<prompt> Human: My mom called me yesterday freaking out, on the verge of tears. Her finances have been a mess for years and Ive been aware but theyve hit a point where she doesnt feel like she can dig herself out and wants to just walk away from everything and start fresh. She asked for my advice. She did not ask for money, but she did ask for help in getting out of this situation like if she walks away from the house, she needs help moving and finding a new place, that sort of thing.There are a lot of contributing factors to her financial mess, not excuses by any means but things that propelled her further into debt. One, she has a 6-year-old daughter. She thought she was old enough to go through menopause and ended up getting pregnant. Having a kid in her mid-40s shes now 50 is not something she expected and its expensive even with buying second hand and such.Two, she married her daughters father. I think she thought that it would be good for her to grow up in a two-parent home but he doesnt understand the value of a dollar and constantly wants to spend money on things they dont need like a newer car he doesnt even drive, game systems, TVs, etc. He also smokes and refuses to give up his expensive Mountain Dews in favor of something cheaper. And finally, she works a job where shes underpaid compared to others who do the same job because shes not as highly educated. She works at a factory and was promoted from the production floor to work in their offices on lean production stuff. Im not sure of her exact job title but she has told me that she makes about 4hr less than the recent college graduate they hired and they do the exact same job. Now, I dont know how true that is because my mom may see it differently than it actually but thats what she told me.Heres what I know of their financial situation: Combined, they make about 68,000 a year, she is the higher earner of the two but I dont know exact numbers. The last number I knew was 38,000 for her but she has changed roles to one with a higher wage but also lost all overtime so Id assume that its slightly higher now but not by much Mortgage was for 70,000 in 2005, its been paid down to 50,000 She has received foreclosure paperwork and her mortgage company will not take any more payments but they did say theres a way back into the loan not sure what that is They have a car payment for a minivan for 500 per month They have at least 2, if not 3, payday loans out, my mom said shes been taking them for 25 less each time in hopes of finally getting rid of them My mom filed bankruptcy in 2012 My mom has very little in her 401k and wants to cash it out if she changes jobs Im trying to talk her out of this They live in the midwest in a small city with a low cost of livingMy mom has stated that she wants to get rid of the car and buy something outright with her Christmas bonus 1000. She has hinted around that shes considering divorcing her husband due to his lack of interest in helping her get out of the financial situation that he helped make among other things - hes an ass. She has stated that shes considering letting the house go and getting a rental. She has stated that she wants to get another job. She does not have a high school diploma, however, and she would need to get a GED before she can another job.One of the big factors in my mom deciding whether to move is deciding if she wants to uproot my little sister but Ive suggested that she move to my side of town there are even two rentals within a block of me so my sister could come to my house after school and it would likely ease the transition. Also, my mom and my dad got divorced when I was 10 and I moved 3 times in a year so I think I can talk to her and help her through the tough times. This would also allow my mom some breathing room in her childcare situation so she could go to GED classes and potentially move on to a better job.So now, Im asking for some advice. I dont really know what to do. Ive looked into things like short sales to get her out of the house without a foreclosure. My husband and I are stable in our finances debt free, 6 months expenses in savings, etc so the temptation to help financially is there but we have both agreed that if we did help financially, it would be in a limited capacity such as paying a deposit on a rental.Assistant: How it is they can make 68,000 annually and decide that they dont need to pay the mortgage? Thats nuts. Thats not because of Mountain Dew. A 70,000 mortgage payment should be no more than 700month even with property taxes and insurance. I dont know that you can fix her judgement problem, which is the problem here. Walking away from one of the only assets she has in the home equity makes no sense. Human: Simple answer: I dont know. Ive tried to figure it out for years.The Mountain Dew and cigarettes thing was just to show that despite that fact that they cant even pay their fucking mortgage, he spends money on things like that. Just a few days ago, he was talking about what store he was going to stand in line in for Black Friday. Somehow he grew up to believe that money just grows on trees and its OK to spend hundreds of dollars you dont have on junk.His family is not rich either, theyre completely the opposite. His mother, father, 2 nephews, nephews girlfriend and nephews two kids live in a small house owned by his grandmother. One person in that house has a job, the rest mooch off of everyone including my mom.Im going to sit down with my mom soon and look through her finances, get her set up with Mint to see where the money has been going up until now and YNAB to get a budget set up.  <response>: If shes trying to stay afloat, and he views his contribution as drilling holes in the bottom of the boat, this isnt going to work very well. 