<prompt> Human: Husband 34 I 32 take home 3800month. After car payments and all other bills we are left with 1940. We pre-qualified for a FHA loan. I am able to take a hardship withdrawal on my 401k to pay the 3.5 down payment and all closing other fees. My husband his parents want us to buy a house this year since the homes in our area jumped nearly 100k from last year and 12 months from now its going to be impossible for us to afford anything. In our area, 250k which is what we can barely afford will move us into a bad neighborhood. We are looking at 1500 mortgage payment and obviously that is cutting it way too close. 440 left over for savings emergencies plus electricity. This is not doable. The lender suggested that we claim dependents we have no children in order to increase our take home pay. This would be about 200 extra a month. Father in law is willing to help chip in about 10k and we can pay him back whenever, which would end up being never as we cannot afford a 10k loan. I need help convincing my husband his father that this is a bad idea. I know that paying 1300month on an apartment is throwing money away but it allows us breathing room financially. Electricity bill is low, utilities are included in rent. Something breaks, management pays to fix it. What are some unexpected expenses that come with home ownership? Were meeting with my father in law this weekend to talk about getting a house. I feel like he and my husband are looking at this as get the house now, worry about finances later. I feel like showing him our finances isnt enough because his answer to everything is that he will help us. What are the cold hard facts I can lay on both of them to prove my point?Edit: I cant thank everyone enough. Youve opened my eyes to a lot of things I never really considered. And also thank you for showing me that rent is NOT throwing away money. I think we were both feeling pressured to act like adults and buy a house because that seemed like the next step to take in our lives. But thats exactly the wrong thing for us to do. Well work on paying down bills and saving up to pay for a down payment some day when home prices drop rather than using my 401. Ive learned more from this post than I have from taking to friends, family, realtor, lender, etc. Thanks everyone!  <response>: You have nothing to prove. Clearly youre in no position to buy a house. They already dont get it, and theres a strong chance that wont change. I have been there, a couple of times, and a couple of ways. Once a number of years back I went along on a house I didnt think we could afford, and it destroyed our finances and relationship. Our relationship has at least recovered.You are in charge of your life, your money, your 401k. If its a bad deal and you know it, say no. Refuse. Just dont do it.This will cause a ton of relatiohsip strain. A huge amount. Especialy if you feel like its you against your spouse and in-laws. It sucks and its worth it at the same time.Even after our experience with a house we clearly couldnt afford, my spouse more recently wanted to upgrade to a house we couldnt afford in the wrong school district. I didnt think we could afford it and said so, and she kept pushing, and it was finally time to start signing some papers that I refused to sign. It was awful. And being sure I was right didnt help.Fast forward a year and we have a place that is not only a better fit for us than that place, but also less expensive AND in the right school district. So there is another side to refusing to go along with what you think is a bad deal.Ive learned the hard way not to just go along with what the spouse wants because you want things to go smoothly in the relationship. It leads to worse problems down the line. Stick to your guns. Itll suck. Just keep in mind that as much as it sucks, its better than the alternative. 