<prompt> Human: There are three issues at play here. First, my brother 26 is fighting cancer. Hes disabled and he cant work. He has roughly 20,000 in student loan debt. He has had tens of thousands in medical bills, which up until recently were paid for by an inheritance. The inheritance was very fortunate for my family, and Im not sure how much is left, but that will likely run out in the next 1-2 years. After that it will fall on my parents and I to support my brother. My parents are not wealthy so it would mostly fall to me.Issue two is my girlfriends debt. Ive always known she had a lot of debt, but she was reluctant to give me the exact amount. She had hinted that it was 50-70,000. She has a bachelors in history, a masters in history, and a masters in library science. Ive been pressuring her to tell me the exact amount for months, but she was afraid I would break up with her if I knew her actual debt. Well, it turns out she has 113,000 in federal loan debt, most of which is grad student loans. She has another 7,000 in credit card debt. She doesnt know the interest rates, but I assume her credit card debt has the highest. My GF and I recently relocated from the west coast to the midwest to help support my brother. I was able to keep my job and work remotely I work in tech. My GF had to quit her job as a corporate librarian where she made 46,000. She is unemployed and has been looking for work for past three months. She hasnt received a single offer but has some prospects. Ive been pressuring her to seek more lucrative work outside of librarianship.We live together and I pay nearly all living expenses. She likes to go out to eat often and take weekend trips. I now recognize that Im stupid for enabling this behavior. We werent planning on getting married for a while anyway with my brothers situation. Now Im even more reluctant because of her debt.Third is me. I earn 93,000, I hate debt, and Im really good at paying it off, even when I made much less. In a cruel twist of fate, Ill make my last student loan payment this week. My only debt is 8,000 for a car loan but I had planned on paying that off by July.So, Im starting to lose my mind. I pride myself in making good financial decisions and paying down debt quickly. Finding out my GF has 120k in debt was a punch to the gut. I love her and I want to make this work, but I might go crazy if I have to support both her and my family. Ill try to be positive. The fact is though that I resent her for making such poor financial decisions and relying on others to help her out. I resent myself for not tackling these issues sooner. My focus, however, has been on helping my brother.Thank you in advance for your help.Tl;dr Brother has cancer. I support him. He has at least 20k in debt Girlfriend has 120k in debt, is unemployed with few job prospects I earn 93k. 8k in debt. Debt is a pet peeve of mind and I might go crazy over this.Update 1Thanks everyone for your feedback so far. I appreciate it. Heres my response to some frequent comments. Yes to loan forgiveness for my brother. Ill look into that. I have no intention of helping my GF pay her loans until and if we get married. I agree with everyones reasoning on that. I do, however, want to help her budget and strategize how she can pay these off herself. Obviously getting a job--any job--is the first step. If you have other ideas how she can tackle it, please let me know. Some of you mentioned that my brother should get SSID. My brother is getting money through social security, so yes, I think hes already getting that. Sorry for not mentioning it sooner. A lot of you are saying I should break up with her. Ive considered that. Its definitely the rational decision. My GF and I have been through a lot though. Shes very supportive of my brother and family as we go through this difficult time, not to mention moving cross-country. Breaking up with her makes financial sense, but she helps keep my family positive and hopeful. I want to exhaust all means of figuring this situation out before throwing in the towel.Update 2 Wow, made the front page of Reddit. Wish it were for something happier. Some of you have said that Im being selfish for making her move or not being understanding enough. One thing to keep in mind is we moved to the west coast for her schooling, only to move back to the midwest where both our families live for my brother. Respectfully, Im interested in financial help, not relationship counseling. Thank you everyone for your feedback. Many of you have made some informative, supportive, and loving comments. We appreciate it.  <response>: Im stunned by the amount of dump the girlfriend responses. Despite what some of you are implying, her value as a person and as a partner are not remotely influenced by her financial standing.OP, I do not have a brother with cancer but I am also struggling with the dichotomy of spotless personal financial habits and carefree spending girlfriend. It sounds like you need to sit down and have a very serious conversation about your finances, especially in the context of your brother, with your girlfriend. She needs to be made responsible for her part of the burden, which means making her work to provide for your shared cost of living. If she does notIf after this conversation she is still not willing to meet you halfway, then maybe you can start approaching the level of cynicism shown here. 