<prompt> Human: My financial history is an utter mess. I grew up in a single-parent household where terrible spending habits were modeled for me my mom complained about having no money for necessities but somehow always had enough to purchase luxury items and finance some costly substance abuse habits, even if it meant taking out payday loans to do it. Then I turned eighteen and promptly ran my credit into the ground by opening two credit card accounts and treating them like they were free money. I also incurred some medical debt while uninsured, and I have tax debt to boot.Ive been self-employed for the last few years, and I make more now than I ever did doing a traditional job, but Im still constantly living paycheck to paycheck because I just. cant. save. money. Ive tried budgeting apps including some that make automatic transfers from my checking account into a separate savings account, goal-setting, and just brute forcing myself to give up all those little purchases that add up so dramatically. Nothing works. I feel like a failure for being unable to muster the self-discipline to manage my finances like an adult, and when I think about my future I cant even begin to visualize security.I need to start over from absolute zero. Like, remedial-level money management. Can anyone recommend some resources for people like me? Anybody been in my shoes and managed to turn things around? I welcome any advice you have to offer. I dont want to keep living this way. The stress and shame are making me miserable.  <response>: You just need discipline to be honest. One way I can think of is to put it where you cant reach it. I hate to advise this, because it doesnt really help you in the long term, but do you have someone you can absolutely trust with your money? I personally do, but you may not, but if you do you could send someone your money and have them hang on to your emergency fund and not let you touch it unless you can prove its an emergency. I dont really recommend it very often as you should really be able to just want to be better off. In the meantime, maybe try counseling, because your habits to overspend might be psychological and perhaps thatll help.For me, I have a why thats strong enough to get me through whatever. That why came through a bit of pain and mistakes, but nonetheless I have a strong why. I was broke all the time and thought it was normal, because of how I grew up and how everyone around me handled money. I just thought everyone lived paycheck to paycheck. Then one day I got sick and tired of paying my rent late and having to pay a late fee for it and being worried about my electric bill etc. I was SICK AND TIRED of being broke and although I still thought of it as normal I knew there were at least some people that werent and I was going to be one of those people. I didnt care wtf was normal. I just never wanted to have any stress from money again. I promised myself I would never be broke again if I could possibly help it. I have kept my promise. I get teased all the time by my peers for being fiscally responsible. For delaying gratification. For not going out and spending all my money on fast food like they do, but keeping my promise is more important to me than pleasing my friends. They are the ones that will have to come to me for money when an emergency happens or they want to go on a trip etc. It has already happened. I would rather be in the position to give than have to be the person that must beg.Other goals like home ownership, being able to provide for my family worry-free helped my dad pay off his mortgage, investing, worry-free vacations going to Germany and traveling all around Europe with plenty of money to spare since I delayed gratification, being able to go out and enjoy myself knowing I have earned it through my good financial habits, being able to help kids, family, others, Church, charities, friends etc. I cant help others if I cant help myself and being there for them is worth sacraficing a damn beer or junk food for anyhow. I made shitty income and thats a big reason I lived paycheck to paycheck at the time. Ive since multiplied my income several times over in order to keep my promise and improve my life and the life of others. I wont ever go back to not budgeting or thinking broke is normal for me at least. What is your why? Perhaps, you should move to a cash only budget as well for a while... Only bring the cash you are absolutely willing to spend with you and no more. Make it to where you cant spend extra, because you literally dont have the any form of payment to do so. Its a bit extreme, but it helped me starting out. Find your why. Do you want a house? A nice Corvettecar? Kids? A wifehusband? To help your family? What will motivate you to rise above your destructive impulses? Find your whywhys. Otherwise, you will be in a bad position as life catches up to you. Sometimes, it takes something really bad happening to you and a ton of pain for you to finally get your crap together. Dont let it come to that. You will obviously regret it. Sounds like you havent had it happen yet, because if you had you would likely want to avoid it again at all costs trust me on this one. Anywho, you gotta find it in you my man. No secrets; no shortcuts. Find your why and take action. Good luck! 