<prompt> Human: Hi PF,My wifes parents are approaching retirement age, and we suspect they have little or no savings for it. My wife and I are looking for guidance on how to prepare them and ourselves for whats coming in the next 5-25 years financially. I realize this is as much a relationships issue as a personal finance one, but were hoping to hear from others who have gone through a similar financial challenge with their parents.My wifes parents are both 65. Her father FIL has a director-level corporate job, while her mother MIL is a part-time teacher. Their gross annual salaries are about 110,000 and 15,000 respectively. FIL is very secretive with his money. His paycheck goes into a personal account, then he writes MIL a check for household bills and groceries. MIL rarely has enough left over for non-essentials, and major expenses like car or home repairs are usually a crisis. Vacations and luxuries for her are non-existent. We think that FILs extra pay goes towards a significant spendinghoarding problem. He gets coffee and meals from shops daily, and has a couple rooms of the house filled with unused toys - outdoor equipment, books, etc. These spending issues have come to our attention a few times in recent years, when FIL has done something so significant that MIL is ready to leave. At one point, FIL drew funds from a retirement account to buy several thousands of dollars worth of luxuries without telling MIL. It only came to light because he didnt manage the tax impact properly, and the IRS contacted MIL about the penalty. He refuses to talk money with MIL or us, and any attempt to pursue it is shut down with a fight.FILs retirement plan seems to be non-existent. His exact words when asked about retirement recently were Ill work till I die. However, hes already facing some chronic health issues. Hes ignored them and been hospitalized a couple times in the last two years already. Working much longer may not be an option. MIL does have some retirement savings, but wed be surprised if its over 10,000. She could certainly pursue a full-time position with her skills, but I dont know for how much longer she could keep up with kids. We believe they own their home outright 200-225k. They have an open home equity loan and have new loans on their cars, as both of their old cars needed engine replacements. Credit card debt is a complete unknown, as FIL has a history of hiding it and letting it go to collections.My wife and I started thinking hard about their retirement situation a few months ago. We realized that it very likely is going to fall to us to support them when they cannot support themselves. My wife unquestionably earns more than her siblings, so we will probably be the first ones asked to help. We have our finances in excellent shape for a mid-30s couple, but were both reluctant to reward their poor choices by adding more funds to the money bonfire. Where do we start to deal with this? Weve considered paying for them to have an appointment with a fee-only financial planner we use and trust, but FIL has already avoided meetings that MIL set up. If their finances are as dire as they seem, would it make any difference at this point? If theres little we can do to break FILs spending habits, is there any value in trying to salvage their retirement, or do we just let it collapse and go to bankruptcy and assume one or both of them will be living at our expense either in our home or in a retirement home? For what its worth, we do NOT live in a filial responsibility state. Thank you!EDIT: I forgot that he served in the Army for maybe 5 7-8 years before my wife was born. Would he have any benefitpension available from that?TL;DR: In-laws are a financial wreck. How do we start dealing with their debts and retirement without jeopardizing ourselves?  <response>: Tell them what youre willing to offer and what youre not willing to provide. Other than that, they dont want your help and youll do nothing more than enable them or infuriate them by getting involved. 