<prompt> Human: Hi PF,Keeping a long story short, my girlfriend and I recently moved in with each other and two of our friends in a 2bd2ba apartment. She revealed her finances to me the other day saying that she needed help budgeting she had no budget. Lo and behold, shes 30k in debt. Heres the breakdown: Her monthly Bills: Rent - 450 Car - 258.68 Auto Insu - 143.40 Utilities - Undetermined as were still in our first month Gym - 20 Netflix - 8 Phone - 98 So thats approximately 980mo rounded up. As for her debt... Credit Cards: Capital One - 1501.17 min 45 Quicksilver - 4409.61 min 136 Credit One - 1141.61 min 59 Discover - 1248.80 min 35 Amazon - 2642.79 min 86 Victorias Secret - 761.21 min 40 Paypal - 2710.90 min 53 Personal Loans: Lending Club 1 - 1834.47 166.77 til July2018 Lending Club 2 - 6347.82 276.96 til Sept2019 Avant - 8289.88 243.82 til June2020 Combined Credit Card Loan obligations 1141.55mo. Bottom line, her total monthly obligations are 2179.62, not including gas, food, utilities, or really anything else she might need. She makes roughly 1000 every pay check if she doesnt work overtime, which is rare. She usually has 5-10hrs of overtime per pay period, but were budgeting whats guaranteed. So were figuring she makes 2000mo. I learned all of this the other night and its overwhelming. Weve asked for advice from both of our parents, and it seems like were sitting on two options. 1 Bankruptcy. 2 Debt consolidation through Wells Fargo with a 30k personal loan. Shed need a co-signer, who would be her mom, and best case scenario would be 60mo 8.99 making her debt payments 624.61mo, worst case would be 60mo 24.99 for 882.40. Pretty sure I didnt leave out anything, but thats our situation right now. I make 63k a year and have had raises every year since. Ive been saving to buy a house in the next 2-3 years and in the grand scheme of things was intending on marrying her. Any advice? Thanks Edit: I appreciate all of the replies and we both have read all of what everyone has to say. Please feel free to continue your advice. Were going to consult with my families CPA tomorrow to see if he has any word of advice. Shes also turning in her resumé tonight to one of my friends company which would bump her up to 18hr. Then well look into a 2nd job. Assistant: People with debt, collections, and shitty credit scores can recover, if they GROW UP and take ownership for their shitty choices. They have to be willing to do whatever it takes therapy, cutting up cards, not buying anything without a 3 day waiting period and sanity check by an accountability partner, etc. You cant fix this mess for her. Shell just create new messes. You can guide her if shes the one making the sacrifices and behavior change.When my husband moved in at 32 and we got serious about marriage I discovered he had multiple collections, credit around 500, and no retirement. Holy Shit!!! I am very disciplined about personal finance and was really scared this would be a deal breaker. But I clearly laid out my concerns and the path to financial stability I required to marry him. He knew he was in bad shape, didnt know what to do, but was willing to do whatever it took to clean his mess up. 3 years later his credit was high 700s and we were debt free with a positive net worth.This girl isnt broken, but shes lost and has some destructive habits that shes been practicing a long time. Help her but dont enable or pay her debt or shell never learn the lessons she needs.Human: Well said. I love this girl and shes not a bad person at all. She hasnt had guidance at all in her life because her mother is tending to her other 7 kids and living in another state. Her dad is a dead beat. I told her today I hope you dont mind me assuming the position of your personal accountant and other words of encouragement. I dont want her to BK because thats hurt our chances at a good near future. I drew out her budget and am making mental leaps and bounds to put her in the right direction. Shell learn, and Im here to help with my advice. I know shes remorseful.  <response>: i think she needs to be the one accountable to get herself out of debt. help her with setting up a budget, and then see how she does on her own. she needs to learn from her mistakes or she will repeat them. at this point, she doesnt need someone to do it for her. she needs to become an adult and sort out her responsibilities. she has do this herself, with you occasionally checking her progress. otherwise, if you marry her, she could run you into bankruptcy with credit card debt by not learning financial responsibility. 