<prompt> Human: BackgroundMy partner and I live with his 85 year old mother, and she is becoming more and more senile every day. After her husband died 20 years ago, we moved her in with us. ProblemsVentingShe can walk and feed herself, but her short-term memory is almost gone. She doesnt have extreme dementia, but she should not be home by herself. We have dogs, and no matter how many times we tell her to not let them outside, she still will let them out. With the recent heat wave, it only takes one fall for her to be stuck outside in 90 degree heat for hours with our dogs, or one slip of the mind to let them outside and forget to bring them back in.She commonly also will leave the refridgerator open for hours on end, and we have thrown out tons of food because of it. Some days she will open the garage while we are at work and forget to close it; this is a big security risk to have a house fully open with no cars in the driveway. Then there is the fact that it is absolutely mentally draining. Having someone say the same things 50 times a day is exhausting, as is her constant needs to be driven to the grocery store or doctors office. There is never a break when we are at home, and we havent been on a vacation in years because we cannot leave her alone. We literally cant even take a day trip from the morning to the evening.My partner has 3 siblings who are mostly estranged and refuse to pay for her care. They dont see it as their problem, so its entirely on us, which really sucks.Actual Finance stuff Options?I do not know all the specifics of her financial state, although in the coming days Ill be looking into it. I dont even really know where to start, to be honest. What exactly should I be looking for? Her now-deceased husband was in the military, and I believe she gets some survivor benefits, although it isnt much. She has carelessly burned through her savings over the past 20 years, although I dont know how much was there to begin with. My partner promised his father that we would not put her in a retirement home, and he has been very adamant at sticking to that promise. I thought this would save the cost of having to put her in a retirementnursing home -- we are providing her food and shelter after all -- but it hasnt proven to be helpful when looking at the cost of at-home caregivers.The only things I can think of is having one of us literally quit our jobs to be a full-time caregiver which would be devastating financially or getting an outside caregiver to come in. We would need, at a minimum, someone here from 9-4 every weekday. If a caregiver costs 20hour, thats over 3,000 per month. How the hell do people do it??? We dont have just an extra 3,000 lying around every single month! I have read about tax breaks and possibly even payment for people who have their elderly parents at home, but its difficult sorting through all the vague information online. Anything I find regarding this says that the elder must be eligible for Medicaid, but thats another rabbit hole that Im having trouble sorting out. She has no income and would thus be below the poverty line if she lived alone; since my partner and I are above the poverty line and she lives with us, does that mean she is not eligible for Medicaid? Do I need to speak with someone involved in elder law? Yet another hefty expense that I will have trouble paying... Im sorry that this post is so long and jumbled, but I am just truly lost as to what I need to do. She is a very sweet woman, but it is a huge burden on our lives, both mentally and financially. I truly have no idea how people do it. A very sincere thanks for anyone who can offer some information.Edit:I just wanted to edit this and give a very sincere thank you to everyone who replied, as well as an apology for not responding earlierindividually. It has been a very stressful time for me, and this was one of the main components of stress and anxiety, albeit not the only source. Unfortunately the relationship has hit a breaking point over the past few days as foreshadowed by my frantic original post, and we have decided to go our separate ways. It is a shock, but also something that has felt like an inevitability with the way things have deteriorated. I know probably no one will see this edit, but I just wanted to get it off my chest. I feel bad about not responding to the lengthy and very helpful posts here; you all are so wonderful. Unfortunately this has not been my focus in the past few days, as you may understand. Thank you for your help.  <response>: Go to lawhelp.org and click on your state, then the elder law icon. You may be able to find a free legal hotline that can give you some info. 