<prompt> Human: So, when my husband and I first started trying to take our finances seriously, we noticed a particular big leak in our finances. Lending friends and family money. My husband and I have a lot of friends who have... for lack of a more gracious term... never gotten their shit together. Since we have been making decent money for years, they started getting into the habit of calling us when they got in a financial bind. 100 here, 20 there, 1000 there. I realized that we very rarely ever saw any of it back. I needed to put a stop to this, but I still wanted to be able to help my loved ones when needed.So I came up with some rules when lending money to loved ones.1 I never loan money. If I cant afford to just give it to you, then I cant afford to loan it to you. It is a gift, and I never expect to see it back. Whether you give it back is completely up to you, and were still just as good of friends if you dont. I will never let money come between us.2 You only get one gift. If you give it back, then it is no longer a gift, and you are welcome to another gift should you ever need it. There is no limit to how many gifts you can receive and return, but only one at a time.3 No, you cannot receive a gift, and then a dayweekmonth later decide you need to add on to that gift. Ask for everything you expect to need and then even a little more if you like, but no adding on more later.4 No means no. If you try to guilt me or otherwise manipulate me if I refuse to give you money, I will walk away, and we will not be friends or speak again until you understand that you just made me feel used and only valuable to you as a wallet. I will only forgive this once. More than once is a pattern that speaks volumes about what I am to you.So far, this has gone well. Both good friends we have given money to under these rules chose to pay us back over time, and have not requested a second gift yet. I think being able to repay us on completely their own time, of their own volition, and without any pressure from us made them feel more comfortable and respected. Weve lost some friends over money before we established these rules. Im really hoping that this might help plug the financial drain, and preserve friendships at the same time.If you have any suggestions that could improve this, please feel free to post them. : UPDATE: Wow. Well, I did not expect this to blow up like it has, but thats really cool and I appreciate all the activity, compliments, discussion, and the gold from two lovely people. : Im trying to answer any questions directed at me, but on mobile this is a lot to shift through, so feel free to tag me or whatever if you want me to answer or comment on something. Thanks everyone for an awesome discussion :Assistant: Horrible question, but I feel compelled to ask it...what if the person constantly needing loans is my significant other? :P Ive tried budgeting with him and it just doesnt seem to sink in. I dont know what else to do. Any advice?Human: I took over our finances from my husband because Im more responsible and better at it. Luckily, he agrees and 95 of the time is completely on board with my decisions. Every now and then he will get very selfish and treat me like Im being a dictator or a miser, and we will have to have a short series of conversations over 3-4 days until he has enough time and information to realize hes just being selfish. Im very generous with him, and quality of life is important to us, so I make constant judgment calls on what our discretionary income goes toward. He understands when hes not being a brat that I truly try to use that money to make both of us as happy and comfortable as possible. I truly believe thats the trust you need to build.I had to put him on an allowance of his own income when I was the main bread winner once. It lasted two weeks before he realized how generous I was with him. Ive never had to do that since, luckily, since he is now the main breadwinner for the next 2 years. : Be honest, be open, build trust. Dont be hostile, just be honest. Dont be accusatory, just be honest. Be forgiving and generous, but only as much as is best for you both. BEST for you BOTH. Dont be guilt tripped. And be willing to stand your ground and fight it out if needed. If heshe loves you, they will calm down, think about it, and realize you are better with money, or have a good point. If not... maybe some counseling is needed.  <response>: Yikes 