<prompt> Human: My husband just informed me he has spent 83k on credit cards over the past few years. He also has taken a 401k loan of 34k. Obviously Im floored. Hes always been really bad with money so Ive had sole control over the finances since we met. But I got lax and started to trust him and this happened. On top of everything, we just moved half way across the country for my job and bought a house in Missouri. There is no way we can afford these payments. Ive crunched the numbers and we can scrape together another 1,200 a month to pay towards this but the minimums are 1,600 a month so far, they will likely go up once the statements post. Ive consulted a lawyer who recommended Chapter 13 for just his debt based on our income but those payments are 1,750 a month. She assured me that wouldnt affect my credit. I also have great credit, a decent retirement, and investments which frankly Im not willing to sacrifice to help fix his fuck up. He earns 105k a year. I earn 82.5k a year. We have about 25k in legitimate credit card debt in my name to prevent him from having access. Our house is worth 305k and we have a loan out of about 295k. We also sold his car which we owned out right for 12k. I dont know how else I can handle this. The way I see it, it boils down to two choices:1. Default on the payments for roughly 6 months, while setting aside those payments, and try to negotiate down the debt. 2. Divorce, get mandatory child support and possibly spousal support, and then maybe he can qualify for Chapter 7 without jeopardizing the house or my assets. Any thoughts, solutions or input is greatly welcome. Edit: Income after taxes, insurance, and 401k loan: 6,810Utilities: 240Phone: 185Car Insurance: 223Car Loan: 350Legitimate CC Debt: 650Life Insurance: 70Mortgage: 2,150Grocery, entertainment, gas: 600Daycare: 750Student Loans: 1000Assistant: I dont have any advice but I wanted to say Im sorry to hear your situation. I would feel very betrayed by a spouse who presented this to me. It essentially means that your understanding of the financial well being of your household -- which you relied upon to make important decisions like moving and buying a house -- was founded on misinformation about your actual situation.Human: Thank you. Yes. Im floored. I feel very betrayed. The worst part is, we just moved from a joint property state, where half this debt would be mine if we were still there and got a divorce.  <response>: Well thank God for that. Judging by your answers it looks like a divorce might be the right call here. You can always still be together, just dont be married. His debt is his debt, and your retirement accounts are yours. You cant risk this man taking your retirement. You just cant. Protect yourself from any further damage. 