<prompt> Human: The last few months have been the nightmare scenario, and savings have been the only thing that have made it possible to keep my house.A pipe burst and flooded the basement nobody noticed the alarm, I guess. My girlfriend and I broke up, so I cut her a check for her part of the joint account; this is about a month after she had a major unexpected expense that we paid out of joint and some expensive family travel obligations. Once she moved, I had to buy things like plates, utensils, pots and pans, etc.. My tenant had some trouble too, and he just got me Augusts rent... in October. Terms of the breakup have me absorbing about 750mo of additional expenses in lieu of an official child support agreement plus, I need to stock the fridge myself now. Oh, and my sister showed up at my door penniless and homeless, just a few months after I dropped about 1,000 on her to get set up in a new place.In November, my annual auto insurance is due, along with my annual phone bill Straight Talk, FTW!, and tuition for the kids school. I went from having four months of savings to almost nothing, but it looks like Ill be able to squeak-through without having to make any bad decisions buying phoneinsurance monthly, putting anything on the credit card, etc..Christmas will be light this year, and I probably wont be going out to hang with friends, but savings totally saved the day. I can start rebuilding from here.Assistant: Terms of the breakup have me absorbing about 750mo of additional expenses in lieu of an official child support agreement plus, I need to stock the fridge myself now.Fix this NOW! You are giving her a GIFT and once there is an order, You will start in arrears and in a bigger hole! Put that money away in a savings account and then you will have money to put towards the arrears you will get socked with.Edit: Rhode Island statue allows for a retroactive support period of six years prior to the complaint.Human: My understanding of the law here is that there wont be arrears from before the time theres an order, and were hoping to operate without an order.Right now were in good shape, lots of communication and cooperation to keep things smooth. We get coffee or lunch together, that sort of thing.Once things start making sense and we have a clearer picture, I think we might go get something mediated. More than a handshake, less than a court order. Neither one of us needs the stress or expense of a legal back-and-forth right now.Assistant: the problem is if things go south and she decides to go after you for child support.Human: I guess its a chicken and egg thing. Im doing this so that we dont end up doing that. Theres not much advantage to coming after me for what the courts would award, since what Im paying now is pretty close. I want to pay my kids tuition, day care, and put money into savings for him.I can understand if it was antagonistic, but its not. If we do end up in court and she gets child support, then Ill stop doing what I do now and flip over to paying that instead. I dont think retroactive payments are in the cards for anyone, I can document my spending.  <response>: I guess its a chicken and egg thing. Im doing this so that we dont end up doing that. Theres not much advantage to coming after me for what the courts would award, since what Im paying now is pretty close. I want to pay my kids tuition, day care, and put money into savings for him.I can understand if it was antagonistic, but its not. If we do end up in court and she gets child support, then Ill stop doing what I do now and flip over to paying that instead. I dont think retroactive payments are in the cards for anyone, I can document my spending.Its not what YOU think iswhat is going to happen. Its what the courts deem appropriate. Many many times the courts will find you in arrears for CS, even though youve already been paying with an unofficial agreement with the mother. That X amount youve been paying before will now be the monthly CS amount PLUS the arrears of X many months. Doesnt matter if youve been paying it before, in the eyes of the court, you havent.Youre going to learn a hard lesson. 