<prompt> Human: Okay. Let me preface this by saying that yes, I know: I was a completely foolish 18-year-old with limited financial knowledge and nonexistent parental guidanceinvolvement. Please have mercy on my younger self.So: I moved in with my then-boyfriend the year I turned 18 and shortly thereafter applied for a bank account checkingsavings that came with a separate credit card. We were together for almost a year before things turned sour gee, who would have guessed? - it was an extremely ugly breakup, and Im assuming that is why the account was never closed. It would have required both of us to be in the same room together, and that was certainly not a possibility considering the animosity between us. OH, young love. Following that breakup, I moved out on my own, maintained a decently-paying administrative job, began school, and for the most part had my financial life as straight as a young, naive, seriously unguided 20-something could have. I did not possessutilize the credit card post-breakup. While I remained employed and paid rent, I certainly didnt have a 401k and never had more in my savings account than a couple hundred bucks. I suppose that in my hurry to get out of the relationship and move forward in life, I did not pay attention to loose ends; as time went on, the entire relationship went further and further to the recesses of my brain. Within the last three years Ive gotten married and improved my credit score immensely by paying off my few consumer credit cards you know, the kind without a Visa symbol that are for retail stores like Macys and Express, and trying to be cognizant of what it means to be fiscally responsible. I do not have a credit card right now, though I have been doing abundant research to apply for a new one. Just last month, I ran my credit report; it showed that my score is in the mid 600s and the only debts listed are student loans!... and a credit card from 7 years ago. That damn joint card. That my ex-boyfriend has apparently been using and not paying down at all. The limit is 5,000 and in the past 12 months the balance hasnt gone below 4800. Fuck. My husband is a saint and is not upset at all - he just wants me to resolve it in an efficient manner. I spent the next couple of weeks trying to find the ex - Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, all to no avail. I even tried PeopleFinder and paid for one of those damn reports, but they didnt have the right person listed. His name isnt uncommon, so its relatively hard to just type his name in and get any relevant results. I am not terribly unsavvy - but seriously, it seems as though he has fallen off the face of this planet. I have found and messaged his brother, but I cant find anyone else who is relatedmay know him. We do not have mutual friends any longer. I am living in a city and Im 99 certain he lives in the suburbs of the same city, but I truly dont even know where he is employed, who he hangs out with, where his parents live... NOTHING. Other than his birthday and first-middle-last, I have nothing. You would think this information would be helpful, but it hasnt proved to be.I finally got through to someone at the bank today over the phone and she basically told me that I am equally responsible for the balance I dont dispute that and that she cant give out any information. She wont write him a letter with my contact information, and she wont forward his to me. She said that I could try speaking to someone at a branch, but that they probably wont be able to do much for me, either. I said, So, unless I randomly bump into him on the street, I am going to have this lingering on my credit report? The agent, as kind as she was, replied, Well, yes. She also said the fraud department wouldnt be much use either, as both of our names were signed in the application consenting to use by either party. I mean, what the actual fuck can I do? I dont want to pay it off, because its obvious that he is still using it. I truly have no idea how to find him unless his brother replies to my Facebook message - I mean, is 5,000 worth employing a private investigator?Again, I do not doubt that I am on the hook and equally responsible for this debt. I am not trying to escape my youthful ignorance, but I do want to get this off my credit report in order to build my credit further. PF is an amazing sub full of extremely helpful users - I really want to know your take on the situation and what you recommend. tl;dr: Signed up for a joint credit card with ex as an idiotic 18-year-old, broke up and havent seen ex in over 7 years, card has been active and used by him I have not had possession of the card since we broke up, no idea how to contact him or how to proceed.Assistant: So if the card is being used by him, then hes making payments? Could you sign up for online access to the account and see about gleaning some information that way? Where are the billing statements are being sent?Human: The billing statements are being sent to him. I asked what would happen if I updated my address - she said that the primary cardholder the ex would still receive statements. I am attempting to sign up for online banking, but am on hold with customer service since I dont have the actual card or account number. Also, it appears he is only making minimum payments. Right now the balance is higher than the minimum amount and hasnt been paid since June.  <response>: You should really go to a branch of this bank in person and get this sorted out. Youd be surprised what can be done face to face.They can help you get access to online banking, which will give you access to his addresswhere the billing is. 