<prompt> Human: Hi,My wife and I are in a tricky situation where we are currently living at a small burn rate per month but want to start planning for family and start saving. Me27m Web DeveloperProduct ManagerI earn 36,000 pa plus 400 a month untaxable in UK through sports arbitrage, this totals the equivalent of a 43000 pa salary.I work full time 38 hours a week, plus 2-3 hours per week on arbitrage.My debt is a UK Student loan, paying 150ish per month, coming directly out of my pay so not taken from takehome. This will be paid off in 4 years time My Partner29f Nanny TheatreCostume DesignerShe earns roughly 200week through nannying 3 days a week, and freelancing for a profit of 300 month. She has been doing this for the past 5 years with very little growth in pay.Her debt is a US Student Loan which we pay approx 550month bank depending on the exchange rate 4 years overseas loans. This is for something stupid like 15 years or more.--- I fully support my wife in her creative endeavours but our financial situation is tough due to student debt, high cost of living and her low contribution. I am likely hitting a plateau of salary growth for a few years while I transition from a Developer to a Product ManagerOwner, and I would like my wife to start looking for work that pays better, is more consistent or has a sharper path to a higher salary than what is effectively a 5 year stagnation in earnings freelancing in what she does currently. Whenever I raise our financial troubles she gets upset. If I find roles shes suited for for instance a steady 20k working in a theatre, but not necessarily being head of costume she will apply but not chase up, and I feel like Im doing all the driving there.---Has anyone here got any magic tricks to help motivate my wife to further her career without devaluing her or the work she has done so far? I dont want her to give up on her dreams but I would like her to better understand our financial situation and try and find happiness in a job where perhaps her dream is diluted.  <response>: It sounds like youve gotten into a position where you handle all the money and she just does whatever. Basically you are, financially, acting like parent and child, not husband and wife. If you want that to change, you need to involve her in the financial side of your marriage. And no, telling her she needs to make more money is not involving her.A good place to start would be a class on household finances Brits, help me out, here?. If you cant do that, set aside a time to go over your budget with her and talk about goals. Dont come at it from the were in trouble and its your fault angle, come at it from an angle of its my fault for not involving you sooner and Im sorry. Ask her where she would like to be financially in five years. Listen. Maybe she wants to buy a house, or take a vacation. Listen to her ideas about the budget, where you could cut back, where you could spend more. Basically, just involve her. Treat her like a co-owner in this business, not an employee not working hard enough. 