<prompt> Human: First, let me apologize for another blah, blah, blah, what do I do? post. I know this community gets a lot of these, but I am feeling rather frazzled and I just dont know how to handle things. The women in my life are bleeding me dry! Quick back-story. My fiancee who I love very much and I work the same jobs, currently bringing in a net of 40,000yr each. She is 45,000 in student loan and car debt, and I am 30,000 in student loan debt. We both work at the same job, a job that we both hate, and we currently work 80hrs per week.My fiancee is planning our wedding, and sticking to a reasonable? 10,000 budget. Our honeymoon is planned at 6500, and our wedding rings were 3500, putting the total due at 20,000 by July. I am putting in about 11500 of this, 2000 of it on an interest free credit card. Frankly, the 20k is more than I wanted to spend, but after looking at the price of most weddingshoneymoonsrings around the country, it started looking more reasonable, and I didnt really feel I could say no to such a beautiful and important day for the love of my life.A further large complication is my mother. She is 48 years old, with 80,000 in student loan debt and 10,000 in defaulted credit cards. She just graduated with her degree in Business Administration, but she has been unable to find employment. She is getting kicked out of her home in the next few months. I currently send her 300mo, and she is begging me to take out a mortgage on a cheap home in my area 80,000 for her to live in. I dont want to have to do this, but I also dont want my mother who I love very much and raised me on her own to be homeless. I have no siblings that can help with the situation. My fiancee is against me taking out a mortgage for my mother. My fiance is also against living with my mother we live in a small apartment and have no room for my mother and her pets, plus she is quite challenging to live with.Perhaps this is just a long ramble and there really are no great choices to be made, but perhaps someone here can listen to my sob story andor give me a friendly pat on the back. I am just feeling more and more underwater here! :EDIT:Thanks to everyone for the great comments. My fiancee and I had a long talk, and there was some challenge involved, but we have decided to cut down on the honeymoon. Ideally we will get the cost down to 4000 flights alone are 2800. We have also asked wedding guests to only donate money, no gifts. We anticipate getting about 4000 in wedding money, of which we are putting 100 towards debt. We are also cutting down on personal spending leading up to the wedding, which should save 200mo. Lastly, we are going to try to cut 1000 out of our wedding expenses. All of this will cut our new total down to 11500, which is an OK compromise to me. I am going to start paying my mothers rent 375mo while she continues to look for a job, and my uncle is going to pitch in 250mo towards her living expenses. This situation isnt ideal, but it keeps her in a house and keeps me out of a mortgage, so I can live with that for now. Thanks again for the thoughtful ideas!Also I do have to clarify, we EACH work 80hrswk oil field jobs, and we EACH net 40kyr. The lesson here is, dont get just a bachelors in physics!  <response>: Paydown the debt, dear god paydown the debt. If you are in debt, the last thing you want to do is add even more debt onto the top.Im guessing the wedding has already been announced? If not, postpone it, its the sensible grown up thing to do, regardless of how much you love her, a marriage certificate is nothing more than a piece of paper.You currently both earn 80,000 combined so youre going to have to sit down and draw up a budget, regardless of if youre going through with the wedding or not. Your priorities are Paying off the debt, creating a emergency fund, wedding and honeymoon, your mother. preferably in that order.I agree with the other users that a mortgage for your mom is the worst possible thing as its only enabling her, no responsibilities or consequences on her part, consider renting only that, pay the rent and tell her she needs to get benefits and food stamps if need be, if shes not too proud to ask her son for help she shouldnt be too proud for that. The next part of the mother problem is to take a look at her CV and help her find a job either by double checking and improving or actively applying for places, again it doesnt matter if the job suits the degree she just needs to work as having a hole in her CV when she isnt working is going to be a major drag, consider ANY job at ANY starting point, if she moans that shes too good or it doesnt suit her business degree youve got to be honest and say that You love her, youll support her as much as you can, but if she turns down work because of her ideals youre going to stop supporting her as that wasnt how you were raised. etc etc.Youve done the hard part realising youre underwater and youve sort of planned out future costs, but you need to be realistic about your current job and opportunities. 