<prompt> Human: Ive lived outside of my means for most of my adult life...and now Ive found myself deep in the hole over 17k in CC debt...35k in student loans...cards maxed out...and medical bills in collections, which tanked my credit score. After repeatedly digging myself out and then falling back in, it finally occured to me I had to completely change my lifestyle if I was going to ever get out of debt.Part of the reason Ive racked up so much on CCs is I was screwed by a client of my freelance business out of a 15k invoice, with no emergency fundIts been tough. I started by cutting out most big extravagances. In hindsight I was insane to even consider these things this far in debt.I sold the tickets to a music festival Ive been planning to go to for nearly a year. I canceled the trip I had planned to go on with my girlfriend next month we were both super excited about. I delayed my plans to move out of state after my bags were already packed.Ive also been working on the little stuff.I stopped going out to bars multiple times per weekend. I travel the extra hour to the cheaper grocery store across the city.I now skip a meal instead of eating out if Im running low on food. If I do eat out I skip a meal to make up the cost...and always skip the expensive beerswine during the meal.I always leave time to take the Uber pool instead of an Uber X...even if its only a couple dollars difference. I got a side job walking dogs. The dollar store has become my new happy place.And I stopped spending on pretty much everything except my bills and groceries. But one thing thats been hard for me is balancing total frugality, while maintaining a social life with my friends, and my relationship with my girlfriend. I built those relationships while spending out of my means, and now I have to adapt them. Its Especially hard during the winter when free outdoors activities Id usually do with people arent really an option Ive turned down countless invites to nights out at bars, restaurants, concerts, etc. To brunches and birthdays... ski trips, festivals, and anything else thats not necessary and would cost money. Basically everything my friendsgirlfriend and I would do together I no longer take my girlfriend out on dates. Ive turned her down for many nights out due to money. I told her I cant go on any of the trips we had planned to go on this year. I cant even afford to go to the museums or art galleries she loves.Im constantly bringing up if things are too expensive, or trying to price hunt for the smallest purchases. To the point where Im becoming known as a cheapskate not necessarily in a malicious way, but still a label Im not thrilled aboutMy girlfriend is great and understanding about it all, but is clearly starting to get annoyed how this is all holding her back as she can afford this stuff. She tries to be mindful of suggesting things I cant afford, but I feel like Im still constantly letting her down. Ive even had friends call me cheap because I dont want to split a dinner bill when their portion is significantly more expensive.And on the nights when I cave and do go out, I find myself feeling miserable and guilty ... even if I dont spend a lot. I even feel like an asshole for not buying a round for the group when everyone else is. I dont feel like I deserve spending anything on entertainment right now.And its all starting to feel like my only option to get out of the hole is to never leave the house, and alienate myself from all of my relationships. Its at the point where I get an anxiety attack at spending any money at all right now.I was wondering if anybody has advice for maintaining friendships and relationships while digging out of debt? How can I keep a social life when everything seems to cost money I dont have ? How can I keep my girlfriend happy when I cant afford to do anything she likes to do? What are some ways to be frugal without becoming known as the cheapskate?I want to get out of this hole more than anything. But I also want to maintain a semblance of happiness and not alienate myself while I do it.  <response>: Ill give an unpopular opinion here. You dont maintain much of a social life when getting out of debt. You can be creative and still have fun. But premium fun should be off of the table completely. You got a cash advance on a few years of your life and now you have to pay. Buckle down and quit extra spending cold turkey. Then when you are out of debt you will have learned a valuable, expensive lesson. Your friends dont sound like great friends if the arent supportive of your resolution to get out of debt. 