<prompt> Human: Hi rpersonalfinance,Ive found myself in a tough spot. Normally I enjoy the problem-solving aspect of financial matters, but this time, Ive bitten off more than I can chew. Hoping this community can provide me with some guidance.My wife and I are going through a separation. She is a stay at home mom with twins. I am the only breadwinner for the family. She refuses to work until the kids are in school 3 years away. The goal is to make it affordable for me to move into a place of my own, while supporting her financially for the next few years. Here are the details:My take home per month after taxes, insurance, etc: 4500Mortgage: 1350moEst Utilities: 300moFoodMisc Expenses: 800moEst rent for me: 1100moMy est utilities: 200moMy est foodexpenses: 800moStudent loans: 600moCurrent combined CCunsecured debt: 60kHouse can not be refinanced or heloc taken out due to LTV ratio and amount of debt we have.Considering bankruptcy to get rid of unsecured debt, but wife will not consider it- willing to put her debts in my name somehow and later file bankruptcy if possible figure I am taking the hit anyway.Have approximiately 20k in 401k i can use and thats after getting slammed with early withdrawal penalties etc.Unfortunately, due to her irrational nature combined with the laws in my state that completely screw over men financially and with custody of children, I need to make this work so I can see my kids regularly.Any help, advice, plans of action would be sincerely appreciated.  <response>: Dude, no. Just no. I dont think you understand the gravity of this situation. You need to start splitting your piles in two, HERS and YOURS. It no longer falls on you to provide for her if you get separated past what the government forces you to do.You need to turn this situation upside down. Unless the court FORCES you to pay for her house expenses mortgage, drop that immediately. Depending on your income level, she may not get to decide to stay home for 3 years. 