<prompt> Human: Hi PF,My MIL is in the final stage of a long, degenerative illness. I dont expect her to make it through the weekend. She has been in an care facility here in PA for the last two and a half years. The facility is one of those sell your house, move into our nice condo deals. But when her condition became too advanced, she moved into their nursing home and finally, for the last seven months, hospice. As per her advance directive, following a very bad fall, all medical care was stopped and they were simply making her comfortable with medication.I am terrified because we live in PA, which has filial responsibilty laws. My husband, his brother who lives in CA and his sister also PA could potentially be on the hook for hundreds of thousands of dollars. I do not know if they would be, because I have no idea what kind of contract my MIL signed with the care facility. I was told through my huband, via his sister that because she basically gave the nursing home owned by the Lutherans a pile of money with the sale of her house, that would cover the cost of her care, regardless of what came after. I have a hard time believing this, quite frankly.I know my MIL had investments, there was life insurance following my FILs death. How much of that is eaten up, I dont know. My husband and his sister who has POA, his brother is the executor of the estate have been on terrible terms since all this began all her fault. My hubby has done nothing to deserve the treatment hes gotten, but thats a different story.We have a new baby. And while we both have worked very hard to have 800 credit scores, a home with a rock-bottom mortgage and amazing interest rate, 25,000 in emergency savings, 20,000 in my 401K, two paid-off cars and no debt of our own, our money barely covers our own expenses. Daycare is so expensive, my parents have started helping us out there.There is no freaking way we could handle 100,000, or even 30 grand worth of debt that we did not incur. PAs laws basically say the adult children are perpetually responsible for the bills their parents incur and can be pursued after death. There is no mandate that children be apprised of these debts as they are incurred, either. Its basically Hey, you owe us 90 grand. Pay up or we sue and destroy your credit! I have no idea if there will be an estate, though I cant imagine there will be. It also seems that the state cherry picks the one they go after. Honestly, my sister and brother-in law out earn the both of us 2 to 1. But my husband was the one visiting his mom every single and I mean every single solitary weekend for the last two years weekend, they know us. Ive asked my husband many times to please, please, please get a real understanding of where his mother stands financially and now, what responsibility may fall on us when she dies. So far, hes given it the well, well see. And, of course, as the in-law, I have absolutley no say or right to any information. PF, what can I do to protect ourselves? Like I said, I have no way of knowing if this is actually going to come to pass, but since I have zero information, I have to assume the worst.Assistant: Hon, look. I understand why youre worried. Who wouldnt? But right now, your husbands mom is dying. You need to focus on planning for the funeral. Do you need to take time off work? Do you have enough appropriate clothing? Make some food and freeze it for when youre sick of takeout, etc. Thats it. Everything else will come afterwards, and if need be, youll hire a lawyer and handle that then.Its too late to try to get involved. If the money has been spent, it has been spent. But you dont know, and panicking about it will do you no good. Your husband does NOT want to deal with it. Thats an issue between the two of you, not a PF issue. Also, I am terribly sorry for your impending loss. :Human: And just so people know, I am posting HERE because I do not want to talk about this with my husband right now. For EXACTLY that reason. I am here to give him hugs and hold his hand. Thats it. But the thing is, because my emotional investment is slightly distanced, I can see a little farther ahead. And this trap could be waiting. I always try to be prepared.The biggest thing is that his sister HAS information and has not SHARED information. If she had been transparent throughout this process, I wouldnt have to worry at all. Either I would know that things are taken care of and not be concerned, or I would have been well warned that money wasis running out and prepared accordingly. I dont know how else to go about this. Every comment seems to make me out to be some ghoul thats looking for a handout and standing there like a harridan forcing my husband to feel bad. Im not. But as this sub repeatedly reminds us, these issues do not go away. I am horribly sad for my husband. I am devastated that our daughter will never know the kind and wonderful people her grandparents were. I am so sad for my husband, who has also lost his relationship with his sister and neices over all of this. I dont know how else to help, so I guess trying to be financially prepared as I can is what I can do.  <response>: I think you are being completely reasonable. I would be feeling the exact same way you are. Youre not pestering your husband, youre looking for financial advice that will help both of you in the long run. Things are about to become very difficult and you are preparing for that. I think its wonderful that you are seeking help with an issue, if you do receive solid advise, it will lighten the burden for your husband in the long run. 