<prompt> Human: After a few years of me and my wife struggling to stay above water financially For no apparent reason, we earn 35k combined, my wife confessed last month that she has a spending problem, she just spends money all the time for no apparent reason and cant control it. I cant even specify one particular area where she spends, its just everywhere. Moviesnack nights every night And shes size 8, wtf, sunbeds, everything beauty related, expensive lunches at work, ridiculously priced birthday presents for everybody, just everything. Whereas Im frugal and make lunches before work, choose cheap nights out etc to try to make affording to live in the later part of the month easier. We have no savings, and Im contantly in -700 overdraft every month in my personal account I have to bail the joint account out of trouble because it reaches 0 before the end of the month. And now its a vicious circle of not having enough paycheck to actually cover the overdraft as well as affording to live in the same month so we I always end up back at -700 again. If it were 2 of me, wed be fine. But she is the polar opposite of frugal, which ends up in a glamorous 2 weeks followed by an extreme poverty the next 2 weeks. So thinking of our finances, we need a plan to get out of this mess..The good news is shes finally accepted shes the problem and is skeptically willing to let me take full control of the finances provided I prove that what I do works. Currently we have a joint bank account where all of our bills and rent come out from. Our wages go to our personal accounts then we both transfer the whole amount to the joint Because we never set them up to go automatically. Then its followed by her either A spending on her joint card We have 1 each, or 2 she transfers money on her phone from the joint back to her account so that she can spend it Usually followed by valid excuse such as needed fuel and didnt have joint card. Problem with that is, I dont see WHAT she spends the money on, all I see is another -60 transfer here and there, with no actual evidence of what it were spent on.Ive thought about asking her to agree that she shouldnt have a card, and then if she needs money to ask me and Ill withdraw it, hopefully if the money isnt so readily available then she wont spend as much. But I dont want to come off as controlling, and what if she actually needs money in an emergency fuel, taxi etc?I dont know if something like this exists, but it would be nice if I could somehow monitor the joint, like a realtime notification if money is spenttransferred. Ive heard barclays do this for transactions over 100 but thats not gonna work, she spends little but very often. Or even better would be like a double-confirmation from both of us before money leaves the account I know this doesnt exist unfortunately... I always check our finances at the end of the month but obviously by then its already too late, and she just gives the Sorry I dont know how it added up to so much, I didnt even buy anything big in particular speech.Im basically here to see what Normal People do with their finances, how they stay on top of each others spending habits. If anyone has some ideas to help or have gone through a similar situation Id love to hear from you!  <response>: I find that because youre in a relationship, it doesnt work so well if you are the arbiter and you get to just mandate things.I think you should work together as a team. Sit down together and build a budget together. Work out your monthly take home, and subtract your needs first savings, housing, transportation, food, debt repayment, and then look at your wants entertainment, eating out, shopping etc. Together, make priorities.Then to keep both of you on track, try using the envelope method. Put 100 into entertainment, 300 into groceries, 100 into shopping or whatever you decide on and then take out money from the appropriate envelope when you need to spend something in that category. no cards. Keep all the receipts put them back in the envelope and at the end of a month, review them.Wow, we ran out of money for entertainment on the 15th Wow, we spent 50 on haircuts this month Wow, we spent 80 at the movies this monthMaybe a weekly budget would work better for your team. It will take some tweaking but you will find what works for you. Basically if you budget it should allow a constantly comfortable lifestyle, instead of 2 weeks glamor and 2 weeks poverty. 