<prompt> Human: So my wife and I are very recently married in September but weve been practicing joint finances for about a year and a half. Weve set up a pretty detailed budget and I track all of our transactions, sinec Im the more financially oriented person. I guess Ill start with the financial breakdown: 5500 after tax income monthly on average, and we contribute roughly equal amounts 1180 monthly for housing mortgagetaxcondo fees 450 for groceries and household expenses 575 for other monthly expenses phonescableinsurancegas 375 for tuition Shes a grad student 150-200 entertainment 75 for house improvements 300 each for personal expenses that we dont have to answer for. 100 each goes into our individual savings for birthday gifts and bigger purchasesFor savings, we basically put in whatever is leftover. I know that sounds bad, but we both work part time jobs that are not included above. We tend to go over-budget because of one-time unexpected expenses like car repairs. We both also receive large one-time payments sporadically through the year my bonus of 3000, scholarships, TA stipend of 1800month for 6 months. I also put 145 per paycheque into an RRSP through my work.Right now we have: 0 consumer debt 25000 total in TFSAs and RRSPs 50 ownership of a condo worth 235k, with a 54k mortgage left One car free and clear We ALWAYS have next months expenses ready to go in our chequing accountI think thats pretty impressive considering we spent over 14000 on a wedding this year AND we bought a 2010 Civic in March for 13000. So heres the problem. Im the budgeter. My wife really appreciates that I keep us on track, we have no debt and our savings are growing. Ive done a forecasted budget for next year with all the extra payments, and if we stick to it we will have 28000 extra to put away into savings, out of about 70000 after tax income. That makes me really happy. I love to see money going into savings and I dont like to spend. Im a penny-pincher, for sure.She likes to spend money. I would hazard that shes the main reason we have a budget at all. She wants to be kept on track. The problem is that she gets 300 at the beginning of every month and its usually gone by the 10th. Then she starts going over, usually for small stuff like coffees or lunches or cheap items, but I give her shit for it because shes over on her personal amount. Shes in no way going to drive us into debt with that spending, but it irks me that we commit to spend X, but she spends X 15. I even upped the personal amount from 250 to 300, and she does it anyway.She sees me as a dictator with the money and I have an unreasonable amount of control over it. She thinks a 12 pair of gloves is nothing, and hey, she needs gloves. Of course it wouldnt be an issue but she already spent her 300 on lululemon and shoes at the beginning of the month, so now theres no money for an essential item like gloves. Last winter, we switched from a system where the personal money was just transferred from the joint account into your personal account and that was the end of it. The reason was that she would use up all her money for February by the 10th, then start putting things on her credit card that she would intend to pay off with her March amount. Of course that led to a bad cycle so we switched to all transactions coming from the joint account and you just get 300 worth of them.Anyway, how do you balance the spending desires of one spouse with the savings desires of another? Am I TOO cheap with our money or does she need to learn better spending habits?TLDR; My wife thinks Im scrooge, I think she spends too much on useless crap. Its 5050 my money and her money, how do we find a balance?  <response>: She sees me as a dictator with the money and I have an unreasonable amount of control over it. She thinks a 12 pair of gloves is nothing, and hey, she needs gloves. Of course it wouldnt be an issue but she already spent her 300 on lululemon and shoes at the beginning of the month, so now theres no money for an essential item like gloves. Tough situation. I can see her point of view in a way; 12 for necessary gloves for a couple making 80kyr shouldnt be a big deal and things are needed when they are needed. Of course something like gloves is something that she could have seen coming. And of course I sympathize with your point that an allowance should be a limit, not a suggestion.Does she understand how your shared budget relates to your shared goals? Perhaps she would be less apt to spend her 300 on shoes so quickly if she saw that it cost you guys retirement opportunities, a new car, a vacation, a dinner out or what have you. She should know where she is stealing from to pay for her overages. Have you identified where the money comes from to her? I think she needs to be more involved. They budget has to work for both of you. 