<prompt> Human: Sorry, no question, I just really need to vent to people that understand finances and reality.My wife and I are 30 and her parents are in their upper 50s. Her mom has a stable job in a department store. When I met my wife four years ago, her parents owned a small-town cafe and they had a pretty nice rural house. Her dad used to make six figures for ten years while doing sales and consulting with 100 travel. If I made six figures for that long with a low cost of living, I would be nearly retired, so I imagined that they owned their house outright and had a couple hundred grand in the bank at least. Nope, two years ago the house was foreclosed on and they closed the cafe. And a year later her dad spent a week in jail for not paying his taxes.Okay, fine. Shit happens. Small businesses fail all the time. But some of their behavior is unbelievable to me. They have credit card balances and dont seem worried about them. They just bought a digital camera. Her dad is an amazing chef and baker but only does part-time work at small grocery stores and similar places. He moans that my generation wont get to retire and that technology is pushing old folks out of a job. As far as I know, cooking hasnt been automated that much! They bought another house probably overpaid right after they lost the last one and I cant imagine that their working years will outlast the mortgage length. I only hope they wont be a huge burden in their old age. I would rather spend my time, money, and housing space on my children!But again, fine, shit happens. But then we were at their house and her dad was talking about spots where they could build on a bigger dining room. W.T.F. Later I asked my wife about it and she said they wanted a bigger master bedroom too! I asked her if they were insane and she got all teary-eyed and said that they werent considering it for right away and that things were bad now but they had hope that things would get better. Well fucking great! I love hope! But why cant they combine hope with a goddamn IRA? Why cant they combine hope with some debt reduction? Why cant they combine hope with just being satisfied with a pretty good 3-br, 2 bath house? Holy shit. Every time I want to talk about it, Im mean for questioning their hopes and dreams.I guess it could be worse. My wifes uncle cashed in his 401k to buy a boat. You cant trust those bankers, you know. People lost all their money with Enron and stuff.---EDIT for common responses: My in-laws are proud, hardworking people. Theyre not poisonous and theyre not terribly extravagant. They havent asked me for anything in four years. I dont need to lay down the law. Theyre just average people that overextend when times are good and have no plan for when times are bad. I dont plan to mix finances or cosign anything. My wife is similar to them but getting better. Again, not extravagant, just poor planning and ability to tell the difference between needs and wants. We have a budget and my accounts are separate from hers.I will not refuse my in-laws food or shelter if it comes to that. I do care about things besides money, I just think its stupid to pay tens of thousands for unnecessary house additions given their current situation. I dont think theyll have the means to actually do it. I have considered the possibility of adding a guest room or house to my property. Its going to take a few years to save and build equity for that.I posted this here and not the relationships sub because I wanted to vent to people that understand finances, not to average people who think its okay to spend more than you should. Ive been here nearly a year, not a new default sub person.Assistant: Tough situation. For what its worth, I completely agree. I guess the best you can do is not make their problems your problems - no family loans, definitely no cosigning, and as much financial separation as possible.Human: Thanks, I intend to keep finances separate. My biggest worry is about what to do when they cant work anymore. Im probably the only one capable of taking them in. My wife has said that her mom is definitely living with us if her dad dies. Thats not unreasonable, but Id prefer to only have a nuclear family household for the next 20 years.  <response>: Make it clear what level of financial support youre going to give right now and that wouldnt include the lifestyle of free spending they have now on your tab. 