<prompt> Human: TLDR: spouses mental illness resurfaces, finances are subsequently destroyed and Im trying to stop the bleeding but its too much, I cant do it. I feel like such a failure as a parent.Ive slowly been coming aware of the financial situation were in. Im sure it gets worse but I suppose Ill cross that bridge when it comes. I stay home with our children while my spouse works W. We both used to work full time doing opposite shifts and not making nearly enough money to get by. W had a job offer a few states away that would pay nearly double what we were bringing in combined, and located in a much lower cost of living area. We jumped at it. I havent had any involvement in our finances since we moved- for one reason or another getting me added to our bank account just kept getting put off. W opened all of the utilities and whatnot so everything is in his nameattached to his email addressunder his control etc. Obviously in hindsight it was a huge fuck up on my part not to be involved in everything or to even have access to our accounts but I guess I just assumed everything was fine. I knew he was buying a lot of things. Packages constantly being delivered, new things popping up in the house, new clothes, gaming things, computer parts. I was annoyed that he was spending ALL the fun money on himself but figured wed been broke for so long and were finally doing well and if he wanted to treat himself then he deserved to.But it wasnt the fun money. It was all of the money. I didnt notice at first because hed move things around or pay just enough of a bill to keep the lights on. Everything started imploding a few months ago after he caused a car accident and the guilt or stress or any combination of whatevers been going on all came together and he just lost it. Holed himself up in his office all day and night, stopped being present in the household entirely, stayed up all night and slept in half the day while 2 kids and a newborn kicked my ass. The landlord emails me about unpaid late fees from the multiple months weve been late with the rent. I demand access to our accounts so I can reconcile everything and see if I can get due dates moved around because the way he tells it, too many things are due in the same week and it wipes us out. I check the accounts and see theyve been paid sporadically and almost never in full. Turns out we dont have a checking account, it was overdrawn and closed. Months ago. Car is going to get repossessed. All the time we are waiting for pay day before I can go grocery shopping. My head is spinning, I have no idea where to start. Last week I got a note in my kids backpack, we owe the school nearly 3k in tuition for the two of them- it hasnt been paid since October. I have no idea what to do. Im paying down everything as quickly as possible, the last two paychecks were divided up and gone the moment they came in. We still need to pay this tuition asap or our kids cant go to school. His company is no longer paying for health insurance and we have to buy a new policy immediately. Our lease is up at the end of this month and we have to pay moving costs, depositsfees and of course the first month of rent. Im drowning. I cant tell anyone about this without betraying his privacy, because this is all a symptom of an ongoing mental illness. I feel like I have to handle all of this on my own. Im trying to find work but it has to be 3rd shift and there isnt much in this rural area, not to mention Im pretty sure Ill die of exhaustion working overnights and caring for an infant and two preschoolers. He needs counseling and probably a medication change. I need a bank account. We need like 5k RIGHT NOW so our kids dont get kicked out of their school and we dont end up homeless or living in a hotel while we figure it out. What the fuck do I do? Oh my god I cant believe this is happening. Their school just emailed me while Im typing this and now Im crying because Im too afraid to open it. We are so fucked.  <response>: I cant tell anyone about this without betraying his privacy, because this is all a symptom of an ongoing mental illness.You have more important things to worry about than his privacy. 