<prompt> Human: Hi rpersonalfinance! My name is MelonLord and I have made some really poor life decisions. This may get long but PLEASE, if someone can read and advise me I will be very grateful. Theres no need to bore you with my whole sob story, but for background my entire financial situation is an absolute disaster. I owe lots of money to lots of places and while I do have a job bartending I just cant seem to make ends meet or save money even though I never go out, dont buy fancy toys, etc. I need a better job andor a second one, but my crippling depression has really made me feel as though its useless and pointless. My biggest weakness is that I run away from my problems by pretending they dont exist. I am well aware that this does nothing but cause me undue anxiety, but I cant seem to change. As a side note, Im in serious need of psychological help but cant afford it.Anywho, heres my specific problem for which I desperately need advice. I havent made a car payment since...September? At least I hope so...its possible that it was in August. I also havent had a permanent address in about a year, which makes me hard to locate. I was staying with a friend in a more metropolitan area for 8 months or so when I decided to call it quits because I couldnt afford to live there. Trying to be responsible, I saved up every cent I could in my last few weeks of work. Then my car got towed twice in a week and my insurance got cancelled because the payment bounced due to the unforeseen expenses. So there went the 700 I saved. Deciding I couldnt stay there any longer and risk my car getting towed again I came back to my hometown a month early with no job and about 11 to my name. So I got a job I hate and am not making enough money...blah blah not important. Heres my problem. During this period of dire brokenness, my phone got cut off. It will cost about 350 to turn back on and I honestly barely use the damn thing so it hasnt been my top priority. Theres also no record of me living here, with a family member. When I tried to get my mail forwarded I couldnt even do that because I dont have a card in my name, as the bank I was using doesnt exist in this state. Ive basically disappeared. Now back to the car payment. I KNOW they have to be looking for me, and I know I should have taken care of this long ago. Every day has been Ill call them tomorrow or on my next day off but when that time comes I have such vicious panic attacks that I cant bring myself to do it. I used to have my shit together and its like I just forgot how to be an adult one day. Its pretty pathetic. I know that if I call them they will come and take my car. I think that if I crack down on myself some more I would be able to afford my payments now, but I know its too late. So in my illogical state of mind, if I dont call, it goes away. I know I need to call them. I know I need to do it about 3 months ago. How do I do it? I can walk to my job right now, but that also means staying there and I would really like to find a place where I can make more money and thus avoid a repeat of this hell. Plus I love my car :Finally, I know this is a long shot, but is there any chance that I would be able to work something out even though Ive been missing for 3 months? Id even be ok with downgrading to an oldercheaper vehicle at this point. But my fear is that as soon as I make this call, I will lose my only means of transport and also owe additional money. Please reddit, bestow upon me your wisdom and tell me what to do about this situation. I acknowledge that this is my fuck up, but I cant ignore it any longer. Thank you so much to anyone who read this far.Tl;dr - fucked my finances, went off the grid for a few months. Time to face reality and not sure how to do it.Edit: I feel the need to reassure anyone worrying about the state of the world with me in it that thankfully all of my mistakes are mine and mine alone. I have no kids now or ever, no pets, and have long accepted that Ill never own a home. Not sure why I felt the need to share that, but it makes me feel a little less hopeless and vile.Assistant: Allow me to introduce you to a new concept I like to call personal accountability. It is a chance to look at your life and perhaps see where your decisions affect your life and the lives of loved ones.Check out a mens group or other organization designed to help turn boys into men. My person favorite is The Mankind Project. I bet you could get some financial assistance to attend their training weekend. They are big on childhood origins of bad decisions and the why does this always happen to me? effect.Human: A. Im not a man, nor a boy, or anything associated with the male gender.However, if there is such an organization that would give me money and teach me how to toughen up a little at the same time, by all means sign me up. Besides, like, joining the army B. I fully acknowledge that my predicament is my own fault. I did have some shitty luck, but so does everyone from time to time. If I sounded whiny, its cause Im stressed as hell and this is the first time Ive really opened up about my situation. I know I made mistakes. Im trying to figure out how to handle them, head on like I should, without having a time machine. Also if your comment was meant to be sincere, I apologize for my curt tone. Assistant: Now I see that. My blinders must have been up because I am more used to seeing men in your situation. There are woman versions of Mankind Project.Human: Yea...and Im not sure why I immediately got so defensive about that. And come to think of it, Ive seen way more men than women in similar situations myself. Then again, it could be because a women not being financially independentstable is still generally more accepted than a man needing help. And if I was of the inclination to be married by now, the story would seem very different. Completely off topic but interesting. Is there a Womankind project? Honestly any women oriented aidecounseling Ive ever seen has always been for single mothers or victims of rape or domestic violence. Upon reflection, that makes me feel grateful to not need that kind of help, but it still sucks to have nowhere to turn.  <response>: You probably got defensive because the grow up and take responsibility for your actions standpoint is condescending and not really helpful, since your question was about how to do just that. 