<prompt> Human: Im a mature student at a UK university; Im nearly 30 while my friend is 19-years-old. We both get the same student loan - remember that UK student loans are different from US student loans - theyre paid via successful graduate tax, dont affect your credit, and arent real debt. I get a grant because Im over 25 and financially independent, and I also have a part-time job as a student ambassador. My friend also gets additional funding as a German national; apparently, as long as your child stays in education - right through to Phd level - you get a grant, and her parents are sending this straight to her. Shes written and self-published a few novels, but the income stream from those appears to have dried up. All in all, I might have 500-1000 per year more than her. She could go home for the summer - and have all her bills paid - but prefers to stay in the UK, so our costs are about the same. This is my friends first time living away from home and managing her own household and finances. Over the summer, she ran into trouble; she spent all her money on a holiday in Wales, and didnt have enough afterwards to buy real food or bedding; she lived on porridge for two meals per day, and I gave her bedding that my ex-housemate had left behind.Were now starting our second year, and shes already run out of money again. She spent all her money on a train ticket to Leeds with the universitys Quidditch team. Shes trying to brainstorm ways to get money fast; she doesnt want to ask her parents to forward her the German-child grant early, and our next Student Loan disbursement isnt until January. Shes not interested in getting a part-time job, though she is considering doing some mystery shopping which I already do and selling her books and other possessions on eBay; Ive told her that Ill front her the shipping costs and she can pay me back when the payment for the items comes in. Ive also said that she can come with me for any mystery shopping assignments which require a guest and she can have half the fee although its normally only a few quid - I typically make 15-20 profit per month from that. Shes selling some of her textbooks at the booksale for the first years; I said Id consider buying some of them if they dont sell, but I dont particularly need any of them and Im not really willing to pay very much. I did lend her 20 yesterday, part of which she spent on travelling more with the Quidditch soc. Shes talked about her plans to write down everything she owes everyone and pay it all back in January.Ive struggled financially before now, and I know that sometimes you just need a temporary loan to stop your account going into your unpaid overdraft, and that you really can pay it back later without getting into a cycle. However, I think its more common to get into a vicious cycle, and Im worried that shell be back here again in January, having already spent half of the money shes going to get then. I guess what Im asking is; firstly whats a reasonable maximum amount to loan her between now and January? I have a budget for gifts, and Ive taken the 20 out of that, leaving another 20 spare, so I can take the hit if she borrows that and doesnt pay it back. I am still willing to front her the amazoneBay shipping costs if she starts selling things, though Ill obviously stop if she doesnt pay me back as soon as the money hits her account.My second question is; what resources would you recommend and how would you recommend discussing this with her? Im thinking that, if she asks for money again, I might just tell her that Im concerned that shes getting into a vicious cycle and Id like to know that shes got her finances planned to make sure theyll be healthier in the future. What kind of response would be reasonable to that? What would you need to see? And are there any resources you would recommend that I pass on, for absolute beginner financial planning?Edited to add: Last year, after breaking up with my ex, I had a lot of unplanned costs, and since I was starting a new job, wages were delayed by a month and I was moving to a new city to start uni, I ended up right at the edge of my planned overdraft. A friend I was living with loaned me 20 to prevent any unplanned overdraft fees, which I immediately paid back. The same thing happened this year; my manager for the Student Ambassador role didnt submit the correct forms for payment, and my pay was delayed for a month. My boyfriend loaned me 10 for three days, again to avoid unpaid overdraft fees. Thats whats in my head, and why Im willing to lend my friend something - because it worked out well on those two occasions, and I appreciated it so much. That said, I can also see how the situations dont exactly compare.Assistant: She refuses to go home where everything is paid for. She refuses to get a part time job. Im wondering if you might be part of the problem. You cant enable her any longer, and thats what I think you should try to discuss with her if you really want to help.Human: Any advice on how that discussion might go? Im leaning towards the same idea, but Im not sure how to have that discussion and stay on the line between assertiveuseful and mean.  <response>: You dont have that discussion. You arent her parents, you are not her partner. You just stop offering money.When she complains about not having money, offer sympathetic noises and nothing else. If she asks you directly for money, say you cant but that it might be a good time to ask her parents for that child grant. If she says she doesnt want to ask her parents for that money but is completely willing to ask you for money, then understand she thinks of you as a pushover.There is a reason this sub exists. It is for people who want to learn to get better with their finances. The people who post questions here initiate the request for advice. The people here who answer questions dont go to other subreddits and tell them to make a budget, post it, and save enough for retirement. Thats because unless you are at a point where you are asking for financial advice, you are not ready to hear it or put it into action. So unless she asks you directly for financial advice not just cash, then dont offer financial advice. 