<prompt> Human: My first post to rpersonalfinance and I wouldnt ask this if it wasnt serious.Im getting married at the end of this month and our finances will be co-mingled. I assume her debt will be my debt and vice versa for the most part.My fiancee just told me today that her dad wants her to co-sign a 80k loan to pay off another loan. The old loan was a 5-year business loan that expires in a few months. He apparently took out a chunk of money 2 years ago for his business but is unable to pay it off right now. It has a balance of 80k. The loan is collateralized by a house of theirs which my fiancees grandma lives in. So if they dont pay it off, a lien will be put on the grandmas home and presumably a foreclosure is possible.His plan is to take out another loan to pay off the old one. The problem is that his reported income doesnt allow him to take out a 80k loan. My financees income does.I told my fiancee that if she wants to co-sign as a favor, thats fine, but assume the money is gone and that we will be paying it. My belief is that large sums of money divide families and friends unless you have an irconclad agreement or youre glued at the hips. And my fiancees relationship with her dad is, at best, tenuous.Im also worried that since well be married soon, that whatever she co-signs essentially binds me to the agreement as well. I dont know what kind of loan he wants her to co-sign yet, but Im afraid that the bank can come after our assets. Currently, I own my home along with two additional income properties that I co-own with a friend. So I have quite a bit of assets to come after and I dont want to lose the home we live in.I dont want to see my fiancees grandma lose her home though so I proposed something else to her. Between my fiancee and I, we have enough savings to pay off the 80k. I suggested that we be her dads banker. We give him a loan, with the explicit intention of paying off the first loan. And if the loan is not paid back, we take ownership of the property. This way, at least the house stays within the family and her grandma doesnt get kicked out. It also mitigates the risk for my fiancee and I if things were to go wrong.My fiancee and I make a decent salary, about 250kyear so it wouldnt be financial ruin if we co-signed and made payments for this new loan. But 80k is 80k, our wedding aint cheap, and my car is nearly 10 years old...Any thoughts?Edit 1: Ive read a lot of perspectives and advice and I dont think Ive seen one where anyone suggested to co-sign. My gut told me this was a bad idea. I think Ill let my fiancee read this and let her make her own decision. I believe her mind was made up in favor of not co-signing, but all of you have made it clearer and given her some justification in case she gets more family pressure.Thank you!Assistant: First question. Does your gf want to do it? If so, then you probably have to do something. If not, back her up and walk away.Second. Is there actually 80K of value in the house? If yes, then I think you can set something up that will work OK, not great, but OK.I like the option of buying the house. Id pay off the old loan and secure my own financing just like you were buying this from a stranger. Dad gets his 80K or whatever the house is worth and can clear this debt, grandma retains her place to live, and you get to make house paymentsproperty taxesinsurance until grandma no longer needs the house.At least that way you dont simply lose 80K, you at least have an asset when its all said and done. Seems like the only way I can see to everyone coming out with relationships intact, assuming Dads company cant support the loan which is probably a good assumption.Human: Shes on the fence about it which is why she brought it to my attention rather than signing without letting me know. But I sense that she feels pressure from both her parents. Im not sure how much the grandmas home is worth but there is still a first mortgage on it  <response>: Everything Ive read up to this point tells me you need to go talk to your girlfriend and tell her what her father is willing to let happen to her.He cannot pay this back. Everyone knows it. Rich relatives know it. The bank knows it. Your girlfriends grandma knows it. He may or may not know it, but hes willing to risk harming your girlfriend to the tune of a very large sum of money because of his own mistakes.People with this mindset dont just go away.If you were to just pay him the 80k, say last time, and be done with it. I can guarantee you he will be back. I have a cousin who is exactly this way. She got pregnant at 17, her parents supported her until she started stealing their things and selling them to buy herself things. She was always manipulating them to buy her things even before she got pregnant, but used the kids as a way to keep getting my Aunt and Uncle to do things for her. Anyways, she steals their things and they kick her out. She goes and lives with the baby daddy. About a year and a half later Im 18, shes 23, and my uncle calls me out to her house as an emergency. She maxed out several credit cards, hadnt been working, and the floor of her 2 bd 2 ba house was covered in a full foot of trash. Mostly food item wrappings, pizza boxes, chip bags, etc. But also a shit ton of receipts, other paper, diapers. It was awful. They bail her out. We clean up all the trash, my uncle went and literally burnt all of her financial documents, paid off the people they couldnt make go away, and let her move back in with them for the kids sakes. She couldnt open up her own credit cards, so she opened new credit cards in my Aunt and Uncles names and maxed them out almost immediately. My Aunt and Uncle didnt press charges. Told her last time were not pressing charges.She ended up meeting a guy a moving away to live with him. She would call and beg for money from my Aunt and Uncle saying things like my kids wont be able to eat, or see because the electricity bill wont get paid, or wash because the water bill wont get paid. They offered to pay her utilities. Last time, and only if you sign a contract to find a job.The guy ends up breaking up with her when she tells him that her parents wont give them any more money than to cover the utilities. She doesnt have a job or a place to live. They bail her out and buy a rental unit in their city for her to live in with the same thought process you have well, at least well have an asset and she wont be homeless. She ends up getting kicked out because she did something else, and the asset was kind of a good thing for them for a couple years. I even rented the place from them for a few months. Couple years later and she ends up needing help again, and the kids are elementary school aged now and she cant get them to school. So my Aunt and Uncle step in again and let her live in their new home this time. She doesnt steal anything, and everything seems to be working fine for a few months.Oh yeah, until my Uncle goes to his rental property to check on things and finds out that his daughter never got rid of her key, and had rented the place out to a family for a full year lease, and was pocketing the rent checks. Aunt and Uncle had to go to court to evict them, it was an extremely long process. Especially considering the family had no clue my cousin didnt own it.My cousin did finally start getting into trouble once her parents found ways to protect themselves from her frauds though. She started stealing from friends. They caught her. Pressed charges. Aunt and Uncle paid attorney for defense. Shes actually in jail right now as of a couple weeks ago because she impersonated her friend and picked up a false prescription so she could sell it.Maybe shell actually go away for a period this time.All of that to say, your girlfriends father is willing to take an action that could cause your girlfriend harm. He will not go away once you pay him off. Let your girlfriend know that if not paying her father wrecks the relationship she has with him, then that is her fathers own fault, and not hers, because he was the one willing to hurt her. 