<prompt> Human: Would love some support and advice. My 70 year old mom retired two years ago with 100K in 401K, social security, and mortgaged house, and a car payment. Her social secuirty does not cover all her expenses and I just found out she went through her 401K trading options. Im working towards opening up the dialogue with her about what level of help she needs to survive every month. Her plan right now is to get a job, which seems unlikely because of her age and limited skill set.Have you been in this situation, and if so how did you handle it? Were your parents willing to let you help before they were in real financial trouble car repo, foreclosure, etc.Right now my best idea is to take over her mortgage payments and frame the idea for her as us buying her house as an investment. My husband and I just started investing in real estate, so she might be able to buy that BS. This will insure she has a place to live, and we will have her name us as owners once she passes living trust most likely. Helping her financially is going to be a burden on our family and hinder our financial goals. Im not surprised by this situation, but I am incredibly frustrated at how this will set our family back in our goals. Thanks for any advice. Assistant: So sorry you are going through this. We can expect to see a lot of posts like this coming as the pool of retired people explodes. Dont take over the mortgage on her house. Get her to move into an apartment. Its time to downsize. The house is an asset she can sell. How much equity is in the house? Enough that a sale would result in money she could invest? If yes, then you can help her invest that money as supplemental income to her primary source of income, which is her SS. About the car. She cant afford a car payment. If the house sells, you can buy her a cheaper user model out of the proceeds. The best thing to do is have her sit down with you and build a budget together. I disagree with the other posters who are saying tough love. This is your 70-year-old mother. She took care of you; now you can take care of her. But you can do it in a responsible, loving way that empowers her and means that your relationship with her can be maintained.Good luck!Human: I appreciate your comments about taking care of her. My mom and I arent close, but I would never think of not helping her. Your suggestions are the ones I would have in this situation... but I know my mom would never do those things based on her previous behaviors, but people do change I guess. However, I will suggest all of those things to her.  <response>: You cant force someone to make the right decisions, but you dont have to enable those decisions by financing her too-expensive house and car. Treat her like the adult she is - offer help doing the correct things but dont be the kind-hearted enabler. 