<prompt> Human: UPDATE: This is a bit late, but things have turned around for me. A friend posted that they were hiring at her place of employment so I applied for a job as an admin asst. I knew it wouldnt pay and it was only part-time but I really liked this place because it was a non-profit and I liked their mission. I aced both interviews and felt a real connection with the hiring manager. I emphasised that I needed an environment that was supportive and fairly autonomous. She called me and said I was overqualified but can they consider me for the future. I thought, yeah, whatever. But-- she actually called back in 2 weeks and said I fit well with another job as an employment navigator the irony but it was full time and I would be placed through Americorp. I told her how excited I was but I really had to have part-time. She called back and said YES. The pay sucks, but Im getting great training through Americorp and my student loans are on a hold for the duration of my employment, I get a 2500.00 stipend after my contract, and I love it! I never thought I would ever love a job again. I love the clients, my boss, my work mates and even the 100 year old building I work in. It is the perfect fit. I dont know if they will ever hire me, but my boss gives me these giant projects like developing training and curriculum and assessments for felons re-entering the work force so if I dont get hired, I at least am beefing up my resume. I learned about my repayment options while working for a non-profit and feel relieved. I just wanted to thank everyone for all of your input and feedback. Im even able to use a lot of your advice at my job as well as my life. THANK YOU, REDITTORS!!EDITTED.I have 140K in federal and state student loans. I have one more semester to go till I have my masters in counseling. I also have about 3k in credit card debt which Im not worried about. Ive used non-profit debt management before and had success with that. My credit is shot again, but I know what it takes to get it back. History: I got fired 9 months ago and my unemployment insurance has run out. My partner has been supporting me both financially and emotionally. Ive been in the worse depression of my life I see a shrink regularly. I cant keep a job. Ive tried to get several decent paying jobs but end up getting fired. I make bad decisions about where to work and when I get a job, I cant keep a job. I have problems with authority which stems from PTSD from childhood sexual abuse. Sounds like an excuse, but this is how I understand it. I am figuring all of this out but Im 53 years old! Im learning how to weed out jobs that arent supportive and deal with lifelong depression but how am I going to pay off this debt? I will never be able to retire. Jobs in my field just dont pay. Which is why I got my BA, which is why Im getting my MA, and I thought well Ill just get my doctorate so I can make enough to pay back these loans. But its taken me 15 years to get this far. Only now am I realizing that I am not capable of being a counselor--Im too fucked up and internalize everything. Ive only come up with 2 solutions: Pay the minimum on my student loans for 10 years Ill have to work in a non-profit I think. Which again, doesnt pay shit. Then hopefully I can settle the loan or something---but Im not sure if that is even possible. If I cant do that, the 2nd solution involves a gun. I mean, I dont want to kill myself now, but Ill have to work until Im over 80 before I retire or pay back these loans, so a bullet would be my retirement. Ill never have a house, Ill never get to travel, I wont be able to get married because my partner would be responsible for my debt. Any advice would be appreciated. I know Im a fuck up. I realize that I should know better. I feel so stupid, ashamed, hopeless, and generally worthless. UPDATE: Thanks so much everybody. Ive read and thought about each of your answers and its really helped me to sort some things out. I personally think I need to do what I reasonably can to repay this debt. I feel a ray of hope peaking in here and have decided to take your advice by: Breaking down this problem into small tasks. Getting educated about the repayment options. Gearing this last semester toward getting a job at a nonprofit doing what I like despite the pay, where I can feel supported, grow into a career, or if I dont like I can just quit instead of getting fired. Talking with my SO and being honest about the debt. Continue seeing my shrink! I am fortunate to be on my SOs health insurance. Thanks for your good thoughts and links. Assistant: This is a bad time of year for people who feel bad about their lives, thats for sure. Im an engineer, not a counselor, so it will be hard for me to give you advice, but here it goes.Let me tell you a secret about my field: the fundamental skill of engineering is not math or science, but learning to solve unbelievably huge problems by breaking them into a series of big problems. Then we break the big problems into small problems. Then we break the small problems into simple tasks that we can do day by day.My advice is to first find one simple thing you enjoy that you can do every day. It could be having tea by the window every morning. It could be standing outside and looking at the moon for 15 minutes a night. It could be calling a friend and asking him about his day, or playing a single game of solitaire. During that time, try to concentrate just on the event, nothing else about your life. If youre the nervous type, do something that requires concentration so you can occupy your mind.Do that every single day that it is possible. Tell no one - its important there be no pressure to do it, you must be in full control. If you miss it, thats ok, just continue tomorrow. By this time next year, it should be a habit.Anchor your life to that moment. It will be the structure that you can build your new life into. Now, break down the rest of your problems into smaller parts that you can do day by day. Dont shoot for the moon travel, retirement, ideal career, first just find a way where you can learn to be satisfied with living your life day by day. If you believe that it will make you happy to pay the minimum on the loans, go ahead and commit to that, and then dont worry about paying them off anymore. When you feel more comfortable about the rest of your life you can always revisit them.Remember to take small steps, and dont let all of life overwhelm you at once.Human: Thank you very much. Your advice really struck a cord with me.  <response>: My dad gave me this advice when I was severely depressed. He said, Go day by day. You will get through this, you can get through this. You can and you will get through this. 