<prompt> Human: This post may seem a bit off topic. If you dont like it, please tell me how. And let me be clear I dont think I am just looking for pity here. You should not accept my state. At least I think how it works ... the pshycology of change. I will most definately sound like a whiny bitch to some of you who started working a age 15 and moved out at 18..I know it may seem like a luxury to some. But really I view it as gross neglect: I never had to work. Or so I thought. I began to realize how my family was spending money frivolously while saving on their son. Not all the time of course. But still. I didnt have a gf till i was 21. I slowly realized I didnt have enough proper clothing. Not for winter. And when my father took my rainboots without even asking me, he wore them so a whole came in them. He put them back without saying anything. He sometimes complain that I dont get out enough. In rainy weather. It may seem petty - it is. But if it is such a small deal why havent he given me new ones 8 years later? .Gosh I am getting off track. Sorry. I have a grossly outdated cv printed with added handnotes. I have some photos for a cv that I need to chose for the editor to put on my cv. But I havent touched that paper for three months. Its not like I dont try to start. I gwt distracted with education application deadlines. And then I despair and distract myself. Or sometimes my father gives me household tasks out of the blue. He is a carpenter and he both isnt an academic so he is not able to teach me, and he doesnt care to teach me the important financial or organizatiinal or law stuff. On one hand he is a pure tech-luddite, on the other he lets himself get sold to splurge on the brand newest Iphone 6 or 7, coming from a Sony Ericsson Elm. While he refuses to pay for a cheaper phone of mine that he .I olayed too much computer and watched too much tv after middle school. Growing up on a farm, I realized that, for better or worse, its not all my fault. to walk 5 miles home from school. And the hard truth of lige is that no one wants to travel that far to socialize. I had to bike and be the sweaty person showing up every morning except for gym days. I was bullied several times in school. My first real group of friends was about gaming. After high school I decided to leave the friends behind that I had met through gaming. I tell myself it was a wise choice, but really some of them has veen some. Of the most helpful people. Regardless, we grew apart. Over yhe years I became accustomed to being an outcast or to be the guy noone wants to be in a group with. But I used to get decent grades and I know I can take myself seriously. It seems I somehow always manage to fuck up being in the social dynamics of a classroom. Or when I come home I lose focus. And I dont have a study group because I feel an imposter syndrome and somehow managae to screw up .I dont know what it is about me. Somehow I managed to become a person with bad handwriting, a guy who shows up in an ironed suit and tie the first week, then becomes incredibly tardy. Someone who flees into browser based games because I constantly install and uninstall steam, and tv. Honestly I would be perfectly happy to ditch all forms of video consumption. I only know of Pewdiepie and Kinngdom Rush from an alledged productivity podcast fk you cgp grey - severely, you are not helping. I watch streMs of the games I used to play. I watch movies and tv series pnline from people who told me about it. I really really need to remove myself from all people who even talk about movies or tv-series. That includes my father. And pc games. It may sound puritan - it is. .Somehow I concentrate best when sitting at a cafe. Or at least I think I do. Something about music in association with people. A library doesnt quite cut it because its either too quiet or too noosy seriously someone put something like a daycare next to the student section in our new library..I dont smoke at all. I rarely drink and I never did drugs. I was raised to think this was a good thing. And it is. But it uncovers an underlying agenda; being cheap or poor. There is no show-off in telling people that you dont drink and save money that way. . I do have savings. But I have no income so the savings doesnt matter for shit. Sooner or later I will have to pay The dentist, rent, food, utilities. My short term bigger investmemt will probably be- My first macipad I never had Apple before and I am sick of burning through microsoft driven laptops, the latest being an expensive and annoying Surface Pro 3- Braces and a teeth whitening procedure. I had braces on as a kid but I may have to get two teeth removed for even more perfection- A half year cosmetology course. I would like to know how to cover pimples, pluck eyebrows and get rid of my maybe-psoreasis. I will be taking the course purely for self-improvement though its career oriented.- A fitness instructor teaching course. 2 months in summer. Again, why not learn from the best and learning how to teach.- I have a low gpa but I would still like to fly to a university for open day and deliver my application in person.  <response>: Get a job and save up for your car, or ask your dad to buy you a first car or save up money by working for your dad to buy your first car. 