<prompt> Human: So my Father-in-Law henceforth referred to as Dadman is going to pass very soon, a bit unexpectedly. He went to the doctor around the 10th of October because of some leg pain. Long story short, they found a blood clot in his leg which led to testingscans and they found a huge mass taking up most of his left lung, pushing into his heart, and it has now spread to his right lung and neck. Initially they told us weeks to months and then last week told us to fly in as they werent sure he would make it through the weekend. Its Sunday and hes still around, but getting weaker as the days go by. I appreciate whatever condolences that are normally offered, but theres no need here, Im just looking for some advice. :My husbands mother died in February, so whatever Dadman has I assume will go to my husband and his sister. They have an excellent relationship and there arent any sibling squabbles about money or items. While there may be some physical items we would like to have, we want any monies to go to his sister and her kids toward college savings or something. General Items:- Dadman is fairly tight-lipped about anything financial, what is in the apartment, items he has, etc- Dadman has a DNR posted on the fridge; he will not go to the hospital and wishes to die here in the houseFinancial Items:- As far as we know, Dadman has a bank account and savings account. He has no more than 1000ish in the savings and less than 200 in the checking. He has no retirement fundsaccounts.- He receives social security but were not sure how much- He has a small life insurance policy to cover end of life expenses. He wants to be cremated, but thats all we know.Were struggling a little here with what to do. Ive dealt with the death of many family members, but theyve always been very open, had wills, were fairly well prepared, and were much older. Dadman is only 63 and has not prepared at all. Thus far, hes been very... irritable about any attempt to discuss end-of-life plans or anything regarding the items in the house. Dadman has been resistant to even allowing my husband to try to find a copy of his own birth certificate or anything else.What do we need to be doing as far as anything finance-related goes? Were planning on myself, husband, and sister sitting down tomorrow and having a discussion with him but we want to make sure were covering anything we really need to figure out. Thoughts?  <response>: Dont worry about the financial, it CAN be sorted out later. You need to worry about the emotional side of things.Dadman needs to hear that he raised his children well and they can take care of themselves now. Even though you are adults he still needs to hear this. He needs to know how much he is loved and be thanked for his life. Dying at home sounds wonderful but you may not be able to care for his physical needs like pain management and hygiene. Dying at home is similar to giving birth at home. Some, with a lot of preparation and fortitude, can pull it off but it is beyond the scope of most. I would suggest looking into hospice care if it is available in your area. You and Dadman can check it out and he can decide. Hospice care may be easier on Dadman and his family but certainly better than a hospital. Really, where to die is more important now than the financial aspects. 