<prompt> Human: Hi everyone,I hope this is the best place to post this, and Im so sorry if it isnt. My fiance and I found out we were pregnant awhile ago, and Im now 14 weeks along. We both make decent money, so we felt secure in the idea of raising a child. Now, however, Im spiraling. I have a history of depression and debilitating anxiety. I mean, my life recently has been mostly amazing; Im getting married in less than a month moved the wedding up because I wouldve been 8 months pregnant if wed kept our original date, I am thrilled about the pregnancy, and overall everything is good...except for the fact I am really, REALLY struggling to go to work. Im starting to realize that work life is the absolute power behind my mental illness. Ive hated my job in every possible aspect since roughly three months after I got there, which is the fastest Ive ever grown to hate a job. Its also the most passionate Ive ever been about hating a job. The workload is for what I would estimate as maybe fifteen to twenty people, but theyve got just five of us in this department. Every day, all of us are miserable. Ive sat myself down more than I can count and thought, Maybe its just me. I need to get a new perspective and suck it up, maybe I just havent done everything I can. Maybe I just need to stick it out until blahblahblah. But we all feel the same way. We get nothing done, were running around like chickens with our head cut off, and on top of that, theyre constantly pulling us to other departments because THOSE departments are suffering under a huge workload! Its not even just the hormones, this place has made me cry out of sheer frustration nearly every day. I lose sleep, my whole day is affected by the anger and anxiety I take with me out of work, and Im worried the stress will affect the baby. The main trouble is, we are really relying on this money to help raise the baby, buy a house, you name it. Life only gets more expensive, right? Not less. I make around 34,000, and fiance makes around 31,000. Rent in this area is never, ever below 1,110 if you want a safe neighborhood to raise a baby and an apartment that isnt infested with mold and cockroaches. We have between us almost 50,000 in debt from school, one car payment, lots of bad credit decisions from the past that we learned from, and more. A mortgage is way more affordable than rent, but getting approved for that would be quite the obstacle course. Alright, so get another job, right? You dont have to be miserable. Im applying to at least three jobs a day and seriously reworked my resume but no one will hire me because Im pregnant yep, already showing and I look like a job hopper because I just started this job I hate less than a year ago. The gut punch is corporate life is never what I wanted. Im a creative person and have had the goal of working from home for a long time. I have so much creative energy in me on my days off, but it all gets sucked out of me when I realize Well, tomorrow I go back to that job I hate. Awesome. And I get to do it like six more days in a row after that. I feel like as long as I have a shitty 9-to-5, Ill never get to where Im supposed to be. If I could just transition smoothly into working full-time on my creative endeavors, I am confident that eventually we would be secure again. The trouble is the transition. And the timing. I mean, who chooses the time theyre pregnant to decide their job that pays well enough to help support a family is the source of all anxiety and stagnation? All I know is I cant tough this out, even if its just until the baby is born. The anxiety and resentment toward this awful job is getting so bad Im calling in too frequently sometimes because I simply feel mentally unfit to even deal with going in, but a lot of the time the anxiety is actually making me physically ill, and I play mental games with myself every time I have a day off trying to avoid going back. Im just really...upset. I feel like Im already a failure of a mother to this little human I already love, and I feel like Ive let my fiance down by trying to back out of having a job at the worst time. I want to find a way to make this work. But I feel like all Ill hear is too bad, suck it up. This is going to sound so over-dramatic, and maybe it is, but I honestly feel closer to checking myself into a psychiatric facility than I do to the idea of dealing with that awful environment. And Im starting to feel like job hunting was a bad idea in the first place; I mean, I know I wont ever be happy in a corporate job, and maybe itll take more than a year at my next job to realize Im dreadfully unhappy, but Im sure itll happen again.Is it possible to go from around 65,000 to 31,000 with a baby on the way, an upcoming move, and a lot of debt? Should I just take a worse-paying part time job that hires anyone they can while I sort my shit out? My fiance is sympathetic and a great person, but I dont want him to be overwhelmed under the pressure of providing. However, I have no idea what else I can do. Medication has never helped me, and I dont want to go testing meds while pregnant. Thank you all and hopefully this wasnt unbearably first-world-problem annoying. Im in a not-great place mentally.tl;dr Mental illness and pregnancy are unexpectedly overwhelming me, and I dont think I can continue working. Can my fiance realistically manage being the sole provider for soon-to-be-three of us while I at least figure my shit out? Our income will be cut from 65,000 to 31,000 if I leave work.  <response>: I hated my job. With a passion. I worked 20 days straight, 60 hours a week, on my feet all day, at 6 months pregnant. And my boss gave me grief fit not staying to help the high school kids move a bunch of plants around on the floor. I literally limped out. There were lots of incidents like that with my boss. All this to say, I feel your pain. I stayed until the baby was born for instance and the money. Company was too small for FMLA or Cobra for insurance. I stayed because it would set my baby up the best way I knew how. You say this job makes you feel like an awful mother. You want what is best for your child. That makes you the best mother you can be right now. I have 3 pieces of advice for you right now. The first is to stop job hunting. Its a lot of work and draining and depressing. Commit to job hunting during maternity leave. Plus, if you leave now, you will have no benefits under FMLA.The second is to focus on what you get out of the job. Insurance? Pay, yes. Professional contacts?Anything else? What will these things get you? Can you save a chunk of the money so you can stay home a little longer with your bundle of joy? Pay off debt so you funny need as much income after the baby is born? Third is to go to therapy. Maybe they can help with your anxiety or depression. At the very least you will gain someone to talk to.Congratulations! 