<prompt> Human: Here is the situation...my husband and I make around 110,000 a year. We have a 140,000 house that we owe 78,000 on. We have a 2012 4x4 that we owe 16000. The interest on the car is 1.9, the house is 5.75 I plan on refinancing. I owe around 25,000 in debt. IHere is why...I am not the greatest with a budget. Never have been. I was dirt poor growing up. I just wanted some nice things...not expensive, but nice. Most of this was spent trying to have another child. I had fertility treatments that werent paid for. Each shot was 1000. Then, in 2011, I had 486,000 worth of medical bills. Although insurance helped, I had a premature baby and was 2.5 hours away from home. All of this added up. At this time, we have 19 years left on our loan. I have a 401K with 200,000 in it, but I cant touch it unless I purchase a home, etc. My husbands credit score is around 775. Mine is around 730. I have most of the debt in my name. I have two children, one is 20, one is now 3. The 20 year old is in college. We have paid the first 2 years, but this year, we had to take out a 4,000 loan. The last two years, he will be a nurse and his job will pay for his last two years. We can also borrow from our 401K to pay as a last resort. I dont know what to do. Should I refinance our house to 10-15 years, put the debt in the loan, and cut up not close our debt? Both of our jobs have great retirement. Our income will not change much with retirement but we have to work forever! Please help. I am so worried about this, I have no one to talk with. It is getting hard to pay all of the bills, in fact, it is impossible. Daycare is killing me. I have honestly thought that driving my car into a tree would give my family more stability. Although I would never do it..I am to that point. I am physically sick over 25000. My husband knows some of it, but not all. He was off work for a year and would take the blame, and I dont want that. He is now back working and has worked the same job for 27 years. There was just a big diference between regular pay and disability. PLease give me some advice.  <response>: Its okay. Breathe. You are really doing fine. It sounds like you let your debt get a bit outside your comfort level, and perhaps your husbands period of job loss made the stress a lot worse.Your take-home per month is probably 6k, and your home payment is about 1k, right? Daycare another 1kmo? Guessing non-house debt service is also about 1k. Hard to tell what your expense breakdown is. If you want more detailed help, look at your past month and post on here what your monthly expenses look like, including minimum payments on debt, utilities, food, entertainment, other.First, get your monthly expenses of house, daycare, living expenses so you understand them and get them to 3k not including debt service. Based on your debt levels, you wont have more than... 1k in debt service? That would give you 2kmo to make additional debt payments. They will vanish fast. Pay off that 25k in one year.I agree with others on here. Your older son can take out student loans. Do NOT touch your 401k in favor of paying for school. Student loans can be taken out, but there is no such thing as a retirement loan. If you have no money for retirement, itll just be a burden on your children taking care of their impoverished parents. Later, after you get more comfortable, you can either repay your sons student loans early, resume tuition payments, or do something else to help.Truly, you just need to look at what you are spending and get a better understanding of it. You are stressing too much for your situation. 