<prompt> Human: Im sorry if this is a long post, Im stuck between wanting help and not knowing what to do. Ive tried numerous times and failed. Im half just wanting to talk, I have no one to tell.My parents filed bankruptcy when I was 10, debtors and collectors cant talk to minors. I learned that young when I was the one to answer the door when they arrived.I studied hard, received certifications, good grades, aimed for scholarships. Despite my parents bankruptcy they earned too much with an at home mother and a father who pushed himself into debt to fund his company. I sent in hundreds of scholarship applications.None worked, I didnt win a single one. I still attended school, took out all the grants and free money I could before the loans, and during that time I met a girl and was happy and then married. We hit hard times and she was to graduate first. So I dropped out, worked hard and eventually she left me by way of phone call at 2 am after my work shift ended months after her graduation.2 years that divorce went on, I was stuck living on my own. My eldest brother and sister moved back in with my parents and are still there today and they didnt have space.I continued to work hard, trying to take up random jobs. Ive been a snowplow man, a merchandise resetter, food demos, all of these outside of my primary jobs working in IT. I only had certifications and no degree, so I was never paid well.I owned an Isuzu Rodeo, all paid up, turns out salt isnt good for the frame and it rusted through and I had to get a new car. I worked at the car dealership then and before my credit tanked from the divorce I bought myself a car, it wasnt fancy and the payments were a little longer than I wanted but I needed to drive.After a long spiral downwards I met a new girl after being single for 2 years, that same year I also got a new job. I worked hard, programmed tools, documentation, I wanted to make something of myself. At the same time another company offered me a position for more pay. I was up honest, up front and told my current job and they counter-offered a promotion. Something with comparable pay and upward mobility.They started putting in the paperwork immediately, but hit a company wide hiring freeze, I believed them. A new manager took over and dropped the position. I asked the other company and they had filled their position.I still believed maybe I could get a promotion, I was there anyways and I was making 15hr the best I could get. I also had someone who supported me through the divorce, told me I could be something better.For 5 years I tried, I sent out applications, I rewrote my resume, I went to career centers and even the unemployment resume help center. I kept afloat but I could barely pay minimums and at times couldnt. The day after Christmas I found out the woman I loved and trusted, was cheating on me. She dumped me by phone, you can imagine my spiral, the same way my marriage ended. I didnt fight it, I broke. I think Ive been broken ever since.Now Im moving onto a new job, its pay is just a little bit better, but the student loans I had to defer this last year and I cant do that anymore. My car is almost paid off but its still months away, I used my credit card like an idiot, not much only 500 and I live with a roommate, I eat ramen most days, I watch my weight and my health, I havent been to the dentist or doctor for a checkup or any visit in 10 years.I donate blood to figure out my blood pressure and make sure Im not spiking. I dont do drugs, I dont take any prescription pills and im basically betting everything off genetics and good luck right now. 18 eggs are 64 cents, a pack of 12 ramen is 2.55, a pack of carrots is about 1 and think sliced pork is about 4. All together I can make a ramen bowl meal for under a 1 a day. A little soy sauce for variety and some garlic power to top it off.I didnt use the AC at all this last summer, it cut the power bill down to 100 a month, I screwed up. I had a little pet ferret, I know an expense but she made me happy, I built her cage out of spare wood and worked hard to buy her food at 20 a month, and get her spare toys. I was an idiot, ferrets cant survive over 85 degrees, she died of a heat stroke.Ive never been a people person but even then I had friends, friends who I put everything towards and just discovered I wasnt getting anything back. To be honest I have one friend left, my roommate, he wont say a word but I know he knows and he helps the best he can.I dont mean for this to be a sob story, and I dont even know if anyone will read it. Im actually 27, my birthday is coming up in in a few months. Im 50,000 in debt, Ive spent all day working on my budget and putting effort into my job I now work with kids in educationIm just tired, Im not looking to kill myself so dont worry, I love life as best I can and I believe in the good of people but to be honest Ive spent so long helping my parents, my wife, my friends, I gave away every last piece of myself. This is definitely the wrong subreddit, it started with depression staring at this budget, and all this years of budget, wanting to ask for help. knowing itll work but Im still years away from seeing any light, to be away from paycheck to paycheck not being possible. I want to be able to eat fast food, restaurants, playing video games on consoles and computers I own and not my roommates. Im in Information Technology, my last computer is from 2009, my college gift. It broke 3 weeks ago, the battery was shot and the power jack module needs to be purchased so I can solder a new one in for the cheapest replacement.Christ. Alright, I dont know where I can cut corners anymore, I dont know where I can earn more money. I cant keep working 2 jobs, waking up at 5:30am, work at 6am, off that job at 2:30 and at my other job by 3:30 till midnight.Thanks Reddit, this is the wrong place, it started off as finance help and ended with me ranting. I dont know who will read it, I dont know if it will be removed automatically by the automoderator, I dont even know what the purpose is.Thanks for listening,Im gonna be honest, I wont return for to read this for a while, Im going to do something small to make me happy. Im off to play rocket league, on a ps4 I dont own, on an account thats not mine, for internet I cant even pay my equal share, on a controller my friend bought me. I spent 20 for a small amount of hookah and small coals, it wont last long but for tonight itll make me happy.I love life, Im blessed by what I do have, if someone wants to tell me something to apply for, to look for, to do. Any information would be helpful. Ive tried to apply for food stamps and welfare and I dont qualify. To be honest I probably screwed up and did this to myself.But thank you random internet person for listening, it helped to type things out, even if anonymously. I wish you the best, because I have to believe in it.  <response>: Dude, this is dark. Try not to wallow in the pain I have a tendency to do that too and throw pity parties for myself, its not healthy. Try to focus on the positive. You are young, in your 20s, healthy and have your whole life ahead of you. You are going to be just fine, great even. A positive outlook is so important for so many different reasons. Ill get in these moods and tell myself well if I had wealthy parents, or if this shorty thing didnt happen to me Id be so much better off; its not my fault. But then, there is always someone else who had more struggles and barriers in life than me who by their own strength of will and determination are happy and successful. 