<prompt> Human: i posted this in two chromosomes last night and someone suggested i re-post it here. tear me apart!!this is probably going to go on and on so i apologize. i just need to expel some thought out into the universe, please, knowing that SOMEBODY hears me. i just need to share that i have no idea how to handle the stress i have felt for just over a year now.it started when last year i was in the process of being a surrogate. i was on a medication called Estrace in preparation. every time i picked up my prescription the pharmacist made a huge point to warn me that i could not get pregnant on this medication which was, of course, its intended effect on my end. my intended parents decided not to use me at the last minute because i insisted on wanting an evaluation to see if i qualified for a vbac. they insisted i have a repeat c section. the following week, my husband and i had sex ONE time. i then was introduced to my new match and we hit it out of the ballpark. i was over the moon happy with our initial conversation. went to my obgyn to get a letter saying he didnt see any reason why i could not get pregnant and it turned out i WAS pregnant. emotionally, i had to completely shift gears from preparing myself to give a baby to keeping a baby that was unplanned. i thought about aborting but i couldnt bring myself to do it after having an abortion and not recovering well emotionally when i was 19. ok so im pregnant with my husbands second child. got it. i worked really hard, putting in a ton of hours at work because we were pretty much at capacity money wise with our first toddler thus being a surrogate. we went down to one car and moved from a lease that was 1,475 to a lease that wasis 1,000. my husbands schedule at work changed from working at 2:20 pm to starting at 5:50 am. if i wanted to keep working we needed to pay for our 2 year old to be in school. with associated fees being equal to plus the first payment, we found ourselves a little cash strapped. i kept working hard. i had our second child on 12.13.14. despite everything being as lean as possible werent able to give a gift to our toddler on his 2 year birthdaywerent able to give him gifts for christmas, we saved some money knowing i would not be able to work for a few weeks to months. then we found out that our new child had a sacral dimple that the hospital had somehow missed. estrace is a folic acid absorbancy inhibitor bybthe way and our first son had to go to a gi dr for constipation so that he prevents having surgery for a stretched colon. each member of our family has a 2,300 deductible. thats three family members meeting that deductible in three months. there goes my saved money for maternity leave. we sold my husbands wedding ring. ive already sold my wedding ring two summers ago to pay for my husbands absence at home while he was in the hospital to make up for his lost wages. we do not really own too much else of value to sell. my step mother suggests that my husband watch the kids while i get a night job and vice versa during the day. to be honest, i dont know if i can handle working all night and then caring for an infant and toddler during the day. also, i am nursing to save money and, while he would the first month, my young son will not take a pumped bottle anymore. school is almost done, just one more month of tuition. meanwhile, our landlord friend is hinting at not re-signing our lease come september because i have only been able to give him 500 of 1200 owed this month. our water was supposed to be shut off on the 15th not sure what magic is keeping it on. today we got notice for electric shut off due by 29th and reposession of our one vehicle if no payment is made soon. we get WIC but my husband makes 100 too much each month to qualify for food stamps. meanwhile, we hardly have food wic only gives me 18month in produce and the rest is not the greatest qualitynutritional items. ive stolen diapers and pullups like the last five rounds, im not proud to say.i feel SOOO overwhelmed. i love my infant without a doubt, but this domino has been set in motion that i feel like wont end. how can i work this summer when i have two kids to look after? the cost of childcare would be appx 1200mo. so my income would have to be more than that. what i am thinking for now is trying transcribing on my husbands days off and he can bring the baby to me to nurse. i am also going to try to sell my wedding dress its made by claire pettibone so i hope i can get something good for it. right now our bank allows us to overdraw but we have to cover the deficit before we can overdraw again. this round we are negative 1,247 and my husbands paycheck in the morning will be 1,105. how can i quickly acquire the difference i need to make the balance 1 so that we can then continue our awesome overdrawing and fees? our landlordfriend seems pretty irritated and im just stressed to the max. i hate not having food when my toddler asks for simple things like applesauce. it breaks my heart. i hate not knowing if i should wean my infant... then i would have to pay for formula also. i feel like im having anxiety attacks. just some helpful coping advice would be sooo appreciated.  <response>: Could you make ends meet by taking in a toddler for daycare? Any food banks by you? Can you call around some local churches, and see if they have any ideas for local support help?As another poster mentioned, you can get your baby used to cup feeding. If you need added help, there should be a breastfeeding clinic somewhere that could show you how to do it. 