<prompt> Human: To start, I am not proud of the situation we find ourselves in, but I am trying to get passed the excuses and stop living paycheck to paycheck. I am a software engineer that consults independently. My wife stays at home and takes care of our two kids, and has a periodic part time job. As a consultant, I travel all over the place and am expected to keep a residence in the location I work if greater than two months. Here is my monthly budget as it stands today I use YNAB:RentMortgage3,314.60 Phone150.67 Internet84.99 Netflix23.92 Electricity140.00 Water44.00 Propane140.00 Montessori Payment1,601.06 Sewer12.00 Internet Radio3.99 Gym87.00 Garbage30.72 Car Insurance226.18 Life Insurance131.13 Health Insurance1,341.97 Groceries1,200.00 Fuel100.00 Spending Money650.00 Restaurants300.00 Medical200.00 Clothing150.00 Childrens Clothes200.00 Childrens Activities200.00 Car Repairs150.00 Home Maintenance50.00 Birthdays200.00 Holidays185.00 Yard Related70.00 Savings750.00 Car Payment477.56 Student Loan Payment383.46 Credit Card Payment2,100.00 My income on this contract is 95hr and 130day per-diem. I bring home on average 15Kmonth and my wife brings in 150.00month.Some information, we live 2400 miles from all of our family. The family has no money for travel so we have to meet them if we want to see them. This turns into one trip per year gauranteed. My wifes mom has this belief that she deserves to have anything she wants and thus has taught her children that money is a thing to spend, and that is it. MY wife and I have had it out over this and she is slowly coming around to a moderate opinion, but still falls into those places where spending money is an emotional reward and must be done or the family will suffer the wrath. I believe it is better for her to have a fund available for these times, so this is something I want to get together.I have discovered a few problems. One, I really want to retire by the time I hit 60 currently 32, but the amount we put out versus bring in does not allow me to put more than 3 into my 401k currently. As a consultant, I do not get a match so I am the only one funding the account. My wife has a 401k but does not really fund it much. I would like to up that number to 9 the next time I can change the amount.We have no Emergency fund. I have been of the mindset that it cant happen to me through my early career. Consulting has changed that view considerably, but I have not been able to turn that into action in me or my wife. I would like to free up enough money to fund an emergency fund within three years. I would also love advice on where to put that that wont be accessible by me or my wife quickly, but rather will take effort to get it out and will accrue decent 3-6 interest.We have a lot of debt. Student loans, credit card, mortgage, cars... Total on the CCs is 16K. Student loans have 30K left of 70K, so weve done well there. Cars will be paid off by this summer and winter respectively. Mortgage is a year old, and we owe 375K on that. I want to turn that CC debt into 0, and keep it that way. We often find ourselves in a situation where we really want to do something but we dont have the savings, so I need a savings plan that will allow for us to do somethings but wont put us in debt.You may notice we have a grocery, spending and restaurant envelope, but we cannot seem to make these limits. The spending thing is not a big issue, but the restaurant and grocery is a big issue. For grocery we regularly spend 1250month for a family of four. Our arguments are that we only want to eat fresh fruit, vegetables, meat, and dairy. That is expensive so it is justified, but that number needs to come down. So any advice on how and where to shop for a fresh diet that may have good prices and where to find coupons that are useable on these items We live in New England. For restaurants, we have a goal to reduce that by 10 this month. So far we are on track to hit the limit, which is good, but wont meet our goal. Advice on if that is a reasonable goal, and what else we could look to reduce would be greatly appreciated.I will say we do save well when both of us are on board to do so, but I cannot convince my wife that an emergency fund is a good idea, and retirement is way to far down the road for her to think about.The final problem is trying to communicate about money. My wife and I cannot talk about money in any way other than with anger. My parents showed me that money is something to fight over, and so did hers, so we continue to to do that. We recognize this as an issue and want to change this. We just dont have a role model to see what good communication looks like. Understood this may be the wrong place, but I thought I would mention it as I see this as the root of our problems.Anyway, I have read through this subs threads and appreciate the way everyone informs and attempts to help people asking for assistance. I realize some of my problems have been discussed at length, but I need to ask with some context because I cant just implement many of the things I see here because I cant see past the budget I have to do anything else.  <response>: Holy shit you are spending money like crazy.Our cell phones cost 23 per line which includes tax unlimited everything with 3gb of high speed data per line per month on Tmobile.Our home phone is free. Its an Obi with Google Voice.My gym membership is 49 a year at 24 Hour Fitness. About 7 years ago, I paid 800 for a 3 year membership, then its 49 per year. 