<prompt> Human: After going on a major shopping spree today I felt really guilty for splurging on myself. I grew up the oldest of 6 kids. Mom and dad were refugees who never made more than 14hr. We were never hungry but we went without and I didnt realize how poor we were until later on in life. To me, thats just the way it was. I never wanted things, asked for gifts or even dreamt about designer clothing or extravagant stuff bc it just wasnt part of our life. I had never eaten at an Applebees until senior year in high school.I remember one year in fourth grade my elementary school had a program called Food for Thought. You would attend an hour of after school session where youd do extra readings and assignments. For each hour you attended, youd get a credit that would go towards a large paper bag of food. After a week or two I cant remember, I went home with a large paper bag of food right around the holidays filled with cereals, dry snacks and oatmeal. I was so proud of myself for being able to contribute to my household. I still remember the look on my moms face as she opened the bag. I could tell she was so happy and it was in that moment that I realized I could provide for my family using my brains. I could come home with a bag of food every week just for an extra hour after school? Sign me up! I went back to school the next day and told all my friends. And you know how that went - they made fun of me and called me a beggar for accepting free food. Mind you, most of them were just as poor as my family. I was made to feel so ashamed I never went back to this after school program. It was also then that I made the decision to never accept handouts no matter how poor or needing I was. Flash forward to my high school years. I was so happy when I turned 15 bc it meant I could start working. I would walk to numerous job interviews in my cheap blazer and dress in the summer time for a chance to earn my own money. I never asked my parents to take me because they were always working or too tired from working. At one point in high school I managed to juggle a full load with AP classes and two part time jobs. Luckily it was a small town and both of my bosses knew each other and were very accommodating about my work schedule and did all they could to make it work. My junior year in high school, my mom put up a Christmas tree we only did it every so years but we didnt have any presents to put underneath. Us kids were just so excited to have a tree up we didnt even care that there werent presents. One day, our better off cousins came over and asked where the presents were. My mom must have felt embarrassed so that night she suggested that we wrap up empty boxes to put under the tree. I was even more embarrassed to do this but it made my mom feel better so I went along with it. Come Christmas morning, it was just another day and we woke up and went about our way. Christmas was never a special day- my mom had long stopped accepting gifts from charities once my brothers and I grew up. So as we got older, Christmas slowly faded and thats just the way it was. Right after high school, I got married and started working full time. It was the first time in my life that I ever had that much money to myself. It wasnt much, but it was mine. The first thing I did that year was spoil my brothers. Come Christmas time I bought them each a shirt and wrapped them as nicely as I could. I would bring the presents over two weeks before Christmas and my gifts would be the only ones under the tree. They were so excited about having gifts and couldnt wait to open them. Christmas mornings during those years was one of the happiest moments in my life. The joy of watching my kid brothers open their present usually a 20 t shirt made me beam with pride and almost want to cry. We never had a proper Christmas growing up so I made sure that going forward we would. They were younger than me and didnt start working until later so I never got gifts in those years. I never really did get gifts as a child and even to this day it makes me uncomfortable when people spend money on me, even my better off friends. This is something I am still trying to work on and be more comfortable with. Anyway...today my 3 out of 5 brothers are doing well financially and I have a good paying job that I got right out of college. We dont worry about not having presents or going without. In fact, sometimes I feel like we all dont respect our money and as soon as it comes in, we splurge and the money is gone. It is something I am conscious of and working to fix. I recently heard the phrase poor person mentality and that fits me to a tee. I never knew I behaved in that way and I understand that if I ever want to get out of this poor cycle I need to change my mentality on money. Im not poor anymore but I still feel like I am bc Im not making good money decisions. Reading this subreddit has helped me enormously and I am just passing by to share my story.UPDATE: In response to your questionsMy parents are doing better today. They still dont make more than 14hr each but they also dont have to support 6 young children. They own their own home, cars are paid off and they take the occasional vacations to go visit family. They live within their means and are generous. My mom helped found a community service group and is very active and involved with it. Shes a great role model for my siblings and I. Shes never had much, but she was willing to give you everything. My dad is retiring in five years and hes found his own hobbies to keep him occupied now that the kids are grown. Hes a quiet man and never says much except for the occasional motivational talk with us. My parents did their best with us. Like I said above, we were never hungry growing up. They fed us first above all else and we cut back in other areas. I never knew how poor we were until later in life. It was just the way we grew up- thats how life had always been and it was all we ever knew. We each got one pair of shoes every year for back to school and it had to last the ENTIRE year. As a kid, I never knew that other kids got more than one pair of shoes and I never noticed what other kids had. I had a happy childhood. My family was very loving and we had a large extended family. When everyone else around you is in your boat, you dont know any different. How could I, as a child, dream of owning a Chanel purse if I had never seen one? The dream wasnt to own fancy cars or expensive purses or go on exotic vacations. The dream was to grow up and get a good job so mom and dad wouldnt have to worry so much about us.So, we didnt have as much as other kids but we did have a lot of love, encouragement and hope. EDIT UPDATE 2: Thanks everyone for all your kind messages and words of support. Im frankly overwhelmed by the number of people who have commented and shared their story and those who have sent me private messages about their struggles. I am no expert and can offer no profound wisdom in this area but Im happy to listen to your stories. I wrote this post right before bed just to get it off my chest and I totally forgot about it until the next afternoon. I was sitting at work holding back tears reading your replies. Thank you Reddit for warming my heart and reminding me of how great humanity is.PS Im a woman.  <response>: I feel you man, I grew up in a single poor family too, my mother had to work overtime everyday to allow us to lead comfortable lives. My brother and I grew up with little toys because we knew our mother couldnt really afford them. Anyways Im glad my mother prioritised my education, and today Im really happy to be able to attend university for free due to my scholarship. : 