<prompt> Human: My parents have been married for over 30 years and my father has always been the primary breadwinner.My mom recently confided in me that she believes my father is hiding a large amount of credit card debt and might have a shopping addition. When they refinanced their house about 10 years ago, they used some of that money to pay down debts but she has no idea what happened to about 40,000. In addition, she has found mail with final notices on credit cards she didnt know existed and their joint taxes reference a several high interest credit lines. She has confronted him with this information and he refused to speak about it and walked away. He buys things without her knowledge and has 2 storage rooms filled with stuff. Although my parents make a good living right now about 170,000 a year, they are in the mid-50s and trying to plan for retirement. My mom believes the debt he has a accumulated is upwards of 70,000 and some of these debts have her name attached. She doesnt know where these accounts exist and my dad keeps all of his financial information on his password protected computer. Im scared for my mom. What can she do to figure out the extent of the debt? How can she protect herself and their retirement?  <response>: the only good news is that 70k of debt on 170k income can be paid off in like 1 year. Getting your dad to admit the problem, and stop spending will be the hard part. 