<prompt> Human: Hello,Im in a really rough spot and Im about to lose my mind. Im turning 30 soon, live in the US, married. Im Canadian but moved to the US to be with my husband. When I lived in Canada, my only debt was a 2k limit credit card, but I lived paycheck to paycheck. I did have a pension plan, which I cashed out when I left Canada. That went for paying for our wedding 1k or less and immigration fees 2k ish and I gave the rest to my husband since he had been supporting me since I moved and could not legally get a job. Fast forward a year, Im legal, I have a job, but this company doesnt offer benefits. Very small startup, there are 5 of us. I operate the back end of about 10 websites, so some design work, email marketing, filling orders, and customer service duties sales. Im the office manager. I get paid 13hr. No 401k, no health insurance, nothing.Husband makes 45k, has 65k of student loans, and a bunch of credit card debt - probably 7k balance total. We never miss payments. We also bought a house in May, mortgage is 1050 per month. He has a 401k with about 7k in it. We have joint finances, though he takes care of all the bills. Im basically starting to feel really anxious. I dont have my own money, which is fine I guess since I can still buy shit, we just have a rule that if something costs more than 25 we tell each other before we buy it. But what makes me anxious is that I feel like I have no control over anything, I feel like an untrusted child. I dont even pay my own cc myself, he tells me when to put money on it in case were shorter one week than the next etc. Which again makes sense and I get it, but I cant help feeling like I do.My second fear is that I have NOTHING FOR MY FUTURE. My husband seems to think his 401k is enough for both of us and Im sitting here freaking out because I dont have a 401k, and I dont have the 1k minimum most companies want when opening an IRA. Im turning 30 and I literally have nothing to show for it. Im fucking scared for my future. What should be my first step towards saving for retirement?Edit Mini update: I did have a talk with my husband. Showed him this thread. At first he seemed a bit offended, but he did respond positively after a while. We opened up an online savings account that Ill be putting 20 a week into until I hit a grand, then open a Vanguard IRA with a thousand dollar minimum. Weve decided were going to do a flat amount of spending money for each of us there was discrepancy there where he got a lot more fun money than me due to expensive hobbies so Ill be free to do whatever the heck I want with my money and he cant judge it. We do have a small emergency fund right now its pretty much a backup mortgage payment in case something happens and well be working on growing that as well. Thank you for all the responses! This took off way more than I expected it to, and minus the couple trolls, was great eye-opening. I feel a bit calmer, and definitely more determined to build myself a secure future. Thank you all so much.  <response>: I think this may be a better question for r relationships. If you feel like an untrusted child then you need to communicate that to your husband. Tell him its making you anxious and you want to be more involved in the finances. Create a budget and go over it in detail with him each month. This will help you get a better sense of your financial situation and I think it will help put your mind at ease. Once youve done that you could post some more detail here and solicit advice on where you could improve and what you might need to do to better your financial situation and accomplish your financial goals. As far as the 401K goes, you are married so you cant be in the mindset that your husbands 401K is just for him. Your finances and lives are COMBINED. If you divorce or something you are entitled to at least half of the 401K or some other comparable assets. What you should be concerned about is that you only have 7K put away for retirement between the two of you at age 30. That is not enough for you both to retire on and ideally youd have more saved at this point. You will need to eventually start saving more for retirement to catch up but you are still young and have plenty of time to do it. Without some more details around your other debt interest rates, etc. and your budget, I cannot tell you the best way to do that. I think a good place to start is the sidebar here. Check out the FAQ -specifically the I Have X... What Do I Do With It?! andBudgeting articles.Essentially what youll want to do is develop a budget. Then start building an emergency fund. Then you can begin to tackle your debt - starting with the highest interest first. For you it will probably be emergency fund pay off CC debt pay off student loans start saving for retirement. But that will depend on the interest rates of the debt.But for now, just breathe and relax! Youre only 30 and while you do have a decent amount of debt with the student loans, its not insurmountable. I think youll feel much better once you get involved with and understand your finances and put a plan in place to tackle the debt. And youre in the right place to do exactly that!edit:formatting 