<prompt> Human: My first post was removed due to too much relationship talk even though I got some great advice that even just 24 hours later has been super helpful on getting me started I still have many questions. Summary of my situation I learned that while 55k is fine when single, when married with two kids it is near impossible.Details:Dropped out of college in my fourth year due to major illness. Was out of school and the workforce until I was 25 as a result. Worked hard erased 50k in school and medical debt in 5 years working minimum wage jobs, started moving up with a company and worked my way into auditing, then changed directions and went to management.I am salaried at 44k and the rest is bonus. After health insurance, 401K and stock I take home 24k a year.I currently have 30k in a 401k, yes way behind where I need to be but I wasnt in a position to contribute until 8 years ago.I have 5k in a stock match program I can pull out anytime if I forgo match 25. Though I promised part of that to my stepdaughter to take a graduation trip on the condition she learn a forriegn language in her spare time. Promise was made in better days.I had 10k in additional savings that I have blown through at this point trying to keep afloat.I currently have a 2k car loan for a Suzuki L7 at 3.2 interest that I bought 3 months ago used no warranty and the engine blew up and needs rebuilt which will cost 2-3k.We also have a Dodge Stratus with 280k miles and a transmission going out that I will drive until it is dead, and a 2003 trailblazer that hit a deer this winter and needs body work to be made drivable. I think we can do it ourselves but I need to find the right parts at pick a part and havent had luck.We live in the mountains, so all wheel drive on the two vehicles is a safety thing not a luxury.Only other debt I have is 2k in a random fee to my old University from 15 years ago that I will need to pay if I want to go to school.My wife co-owns a hair salon in a town of 1k. This was all before me and she was kinda bullied into a long term lease.I added up the bills she is responsible for and they come to 670 a month and she usually needs to get some money from me in slow months. So I would estimate she makes 7-8k a year though last years taxes she claimed under 5k in income so she probably isnt claiming tips. If I add what she makes an hour it is only 5.46 an hour but she also doesnt necessarily stay at the salon if no appointments and will get other things done, stuff I dont have time for, house stuff, and the job gives her flexibility to take care of the kids. I have not talked to her about the salon yet because I was getting good advice before my post was deleted the first time and I want to be fully prepared when I raise the subject.Her budgetbills is:Dance: she trades haircuts for tuition and the oldest has a real shot of going to college for this.Phones 120, we do have to pay for ours and one kid and the biological dad pays the other kids.Water 50 usually though it was 138 the other month due to a leak we fixed.Electricity 140. Electric heating : should go down. Old logging house with bad insulation and dry rot doesnt help though it is extremely cheap.Internet 60Gas for her car 250-300. This was a shock but did the math and because of rural school and outside of school bus routes she has to take them to school and the schools are 16 miles apart, between that and work she drives 56 miles a day. We have looked in to having the oldest ride with a friend to school which would help that. Moving anywhere in area would mean a rent increase of over 300 dollars so it is not a cost effective option.My bills areGas for my car-100Rent-700, 300 cheaper than next cheapest house on Craigslists right now.Food- 400-500 3 dollars a day per person and I get almost no fresh fruit on this and I barter with a slaughter house for the only meat we buy outside of canned tuna and frozen chicken breastsNetflix-12Prescription drugs- 46Car insurance 170Car payment-149My CPAP machine cost per month 342 but this should go down once we hit our deductible.So that is 1919 on take home pay of 2k, no room for wiggle, emergencies, so on and with very little extravagance, I could cut Netflix I know, maybe downgrade phones though wife needs data to run her square. I honestly dont know where I can cut to have an impact. I know gas is high but is food reasonable?The one bright part is in two years I can claim the kids as dependents per the divorce agreement so that is a bright spot down the road.Also the divorce agreement mandates the schools the kids have to go to and we cant move more than 30 miles away from biological dad so moving isnt really an option for a better job.Even if I could move I dont know what to do to make more money. My company will pay 5k of college a year but it is a pay upfront and be reimbursed in a year if still with company, but what would I study and is it worth taking out loans to do it.I am very good at sales and management but sales manager positions even in the city seem to start at 35k. I did get invited to apply for a bar GM position that was 1.5 hours away paying 80k but i couldnt swing the commute and cant move.Should I give up on my 401k even though I am so far behind? At that point is it even worth it and should I cash it out and pay penalties and go back to school or at least use it to keep head above water?Any advice is welcome. My parents have offered to help but I feel bad as they helped when I was essentially disabled for years and made it even possible to get my head back above water and they dont have much money and already do a ton, buying make up, school clothes, sanitary supplies when we couldnt, and I would love to adult and figure this out myself.How do other families do this on way less than us and they have new trucks and iPhones and I know they make 50 less than we do.What am I doing wrong?Thank you for your help.Assistant: You guys have an income problem. Im also having a hard time seeing understanding why a married couple with two kids making 55k only takes home 24k.I may catch some flak here, but if youre married I would suggest you guys pool your resources. Her bills are your bills and yours are hers. This is practical because you guys are legally bound to each other and their debts- you have to work as a team to get out of this. Make a budget with her and track your money with Mint. You guys will prioritize debt payoff after meeting your other responsibilities.Im sorry to say it, but I dont think you should give the 5k to your stepdaughter. Itll suck, but you and your wife really need that money. Thats a fixed car and some debt gone. You really have to be practical about it, and I hope that in the long run your kids will be impressed by your resolve to make things better. Youre right - you need to be getting your life together and amplifying your retirement. Now if I remember right your wife has a beauty salon. She needs to come up with some ways to make more money, just like you do as well. Is the business growing or failing? She can make more than 5k working part time for minimum wage - what is the salon doing for her? Any language to break her lease if its not working?Human: I havent looked into the lease and I am waiting to talk to her about until I actually fully know, or think I know what we need and what a desirable outcome would be.The business is steady at least, possibly growing. There is potential to make more with a move so I dont know if she should abandon it. If she can condense her hours at the salon and pick up some work at home stuff that might be the best scenario to help with income.Health insurance is the big reason that 55k gets turned to 24k.Assistant: If the business was steady and possibly growing, you wouldnt be posting here. Your situation right now isnt working, so you need to change. If nothing changes, youve already seen what is going to happen. Since there are things you are either unwilling to change or unable to change, one constant I see is that business. I know its hard to admit that something isnt working because of the sunk cost fallacy, but its important to get out before it ruins you any more.Human: Well it is definitely making money and it made more this year than last year, expenses for us just rose substantial more. I will have look up sunk cost fallacy but I can assume a bit what it is.  <response>: What I dont understand is why youre defending this salon after you clearly stated that she only makes 7-8k a year. If she drops the salon and gets an intro job somewhere making 30k, you could hire a full time nannyhouse keeper at minimum wage for that other stuff and still net more than what she is currently making. Or cut her hours in half if shes so passionate about the business and get a part time job somewhere else, essentially doubling her income. Or get a job in fast food. Literally anything is going to pay more than what shes making now. Im trying to be sympathetic, but youre shooting yourself in the foot and wondering why youre in pain. 