<prompt> Human: I wish that I didnt have to write this post, but I honestly dont have a plan anymore and admit that I am lost. Debt is ruling my life at this point, and I feel like I cant even breath sometimes. Ive had a few panic attacks, thought I was having a heart attack on multiple occasions, and in my worst moments thought about dying. I have kept this secret from everyone close to me, and it is a burden that I try to bear in silence.Personal background-I am a father of two young girls, have a wife, have a house, both have good jobs, and have a very happy life except for money. I have handled the family finances since my wife and I had our first child about 8 years ago. Combined we make 155k gross. We live in the North East, so living expenses are fairly high. We live in a modest house and, in my opinion, dont have a extravagant lifestyle. We dont go on expensive vacations, we dont have a giant house, we dont send our kids to private school, we dont buy lots of expensive goods, we dont eat out on a daily basis, and we dont gamble. Even so weve made a ton of money mistakes along the way: having two kids, buying a home, each of us going back to school to get a masters while working - all the while not being financially secure. I knew at the time of these events that we shouldnt, but I didnt say no. I wanted to start my life with my wife, and get eventually get to that secure place. I got everything I wanted, but now I have the following self-inflicted burden ruining my life. Sorry for being dramatic, but I feel like crap.Financialdebt background-I have a reasonable mortgage 2k a month with insurancetaxes built in, two cars one paid off and one leased, student debt prob. 15k between my wife and i-not terrible, a TON of credit card debt about 40k, and various other small debts. When I took control of our finances, I switched us to a mostly credit card lifestyle. It was great for awhile. I would pay off all of our credit cards every month and we would get the points. This fell apart about the time we were having our 2nd child, but the trouble had been lurking for awhile. I started to move money around between us a lot, desperately trying to maintain our monthly payoffs. Eventually, I started letting some balance lapse over to the next month and then the next. I still pay into each of my credit cards every month, but I am long past being able to pay them off in full. I have tried everything I know of to get out from the credit card debt-balance transfers to cards with 0 interest, cutting expenses, getting more income by changing jobs, and even taking out loans against my 401k. I tried asking the financial adviser at my job outside consultant who handles our 401ks, life insurance, etc. what to do, and he suggested I sit down with him for 1,000 for him to fully go through my finances. Ugh. Every time I do some thing to try to fix the situation, I find myself getting back in deeper than ever.Current situation-More than ever I feel like I need to wipe the slate clean. We havent always made this much money. In fact, I didnt start making a lot more money than my wife until a few years ago. I am thinking about getting a debt consolidation loan, paying off all of my credit cards or the majority of them, and then switching mostly to a cash lifestyle. I feel like I cant do that now cash living because I have so many individual debts that I need to pay during the month, and that I need the cash on hand to pay those rather than daily expenses. I try my best to limit family expenses outside of necessities, but all of those little outlays seem to add up to a big bill every month on our primary card.There is so much more to this story, but honestly I am getting sick just thinking about all of it. My personal concerns at this point are taking care of my kids and my wife, not having a heart attack, and lastly being able to actually enjoy living. An gigantic concern of mine is my wife finding out and her a killing me half joking and b divorcing me. Ive been a huge idiot for the things Ive done, and not saying no to some of the things shes wanted to do, but I am an even bigger idiot by not being honest. I know that, but I just cant tell her now. The hole Ive dug is too deep.I will do almost anything at this point regarding my debt. I need guidance. I want to call my cc companies to try and get a better rate, but I havent had success in the past. Please help me.  <response>: I live in the Northeast too, and we combine for 120k income. No children, which understandably alters the comparison, but after all bills including mortgage, we live very well on 60kyear pretax, and could probably swing 40kyear if things got tight. The income is there. You need to decide between needs and wants. Brutally cutting back on things that arent 100 needed can help you climb out of trouble pretty quickly. EDIT: For full disclosure, we had combined 120k in student loan debt on a combined 60k income six years ago when we graduated and now have no debt other than the mortgage. 