<prompt> Human: Need advice...SO myself have been debating whats gonna really happen to our finances after we get married. She has really low short term debt, better credit and a degree, but significantly large student loans and I have yet to finish my degree, high short term debts, but very manageable student loansFortunately parents are helping us out by paying for the wedding but see the debt as our sole responsibility...And are not interested in loaning us the wedding money to pay the debt down. They have offered to let us keep whatever is left after wedding is paid for...Im willing to postpone the wedding, making the debt a priority before the wedding, but my SO thinks we should let them just pay for what they want figure out our finances on our own.If Im having the wedding of total financial independence, then a very small ceremony and dinner is what we can afford to do on our ownEdit 1: Making post more rpersonalfinance appropriateEdit 2: Removed insignificant detailsEdit 3:UpdateResponse after response thus far has helped me to see the other perspective...From a financial perspective, the money for the wedding and money for debt are completely unrelated. Conflating the two actually made it hard to be happy that we have parents willing to help us out with paying for a wedding.My feeling about the debt has completely sapped the joy out of planning for a wedding.I believe I owe it to my SO and parents to set the record straight. Not sure, but dont think they ever perceived disrespect in asking for using the money another way than intended, but I want them to know that I am really appreciative of their helping us to have a wedding. Also I think I owe a second post to spell out our finances and maybe theres a way to get that worked out leading up to the wedding and knowing what lies ahead after were marriedThank you to everyone for your responses and if you have any more insight Ill be keeping my eye out  <response>: You dont get to dictate how the parents spend their money. They want to pay for a wedding. Feel free to turn down their offer of paying for the wedding, but you dont get to keep the money to pay down your debts instead. 