<prompt> Human: We both make a decent income in the midwest where the cost of living comfortably is very affordable. I make 60k she makes 50k. Id like to maintain separate bank accounts and split the bills fairly - meaning I make 54.5 of our total take home so Ill pay 54.5 of the bills, shell pay 45.5. Whats left after all monthly bills mortgage, utility, grocery, insurance, etc is kept in our separate accounts. And if she wants to take her piece and buy a new outfit whatever, Im not going to complain. I have my piece and can choose to build up savings. I already have a 6 months of all living expenses emergency fund set aside in a separate savings account. That doesnt get touched. Anything wrong with this? Am i crazy for wanting to take this path? It seems to me this would lead to the least amount of problems over money, neither can complain about the way the other spends their share, it would keep things stress free. Advice or tips to convince her this is a smart path, or to convince me to go joint? Id prefer the separation because shes more likely to spend and Im more likely to save, this achieves the best of both worlds IMHO. My parents were a mirror of us dad is the saver, mom is the spender and they had a joint and I saw the irritation this caused my father and would prefer to not repeat that same mistake. Shes not necessarily dumb with money, but shes not a natural saver either, she maintains a balance that would put me in a panic, Id prefer to play it safe and easy. After all expenses including the nanny and roth accounts, this would leave each of us approximately 1300 each per month to do whatever with. That seems like plenty to me, but shes pulling the old fashioned card and saying marriage should be automatically a joint account, I dont see the logic, especially as the saver of the 2.Assistant: Its a personal choice. Theres no right or wrong answer. Personally, I think when you get married its no longer her money and your money, its just our money. What would you do if you guys decide the best choice is to have one of you stay at home for a few years if you have kids? Would that person just get no spending money? If you save all your money and she spends all of hers, what happens at retirement? Would you force her to keep working while you stop? You need to decide how much you spend and save as a couple. Maybe this means youll save less than you want and shell spend less than she wants. Its about compromise and finding a balance.Human: We have a 1 year old. She stayed at home for 6 months after he was born while I covered the living expenses and now that shes back at work as a registered nurse, we have a nanny for the 3 days a week she works, Id like to begin evenly distributing the bills and keeping it separate.Assistant: Theres nothing wrong with wanting to keep it separate, but its something you need to agree on as a couple. Theres nothing wrong with wanting all money to be consider joint money either. You arent right and neither is she. There is no right answer and you are both equally justified in what you want. You need to have this conversation with you wife, not try to get justification for your opinion from random internet strangers.Human: I like hearing opinions of other people, it could fairly sway either of us if a good point was made for one side or the other.Assistant: Then Im curious what your opinion is in the case of retirement. If you have savings and she doesnt, what will happen? What if she doesnt want to work or cant work anymore? What happened when she wasnt working? Did she just have no spending money at all?Human: We presently have roth accounts that are factored into the split bills, the 1300 each left over is after the maximum contribution made to both ends. When she wasnt working while raising our son I simply paid for everything. I purchased our home with 20 down factoring in all expenses as best I could that if one of us lost our job, the other could continue paying all the bills until the other found a replacement based on our present incomes when I bought it over a year ago, theres also a 6 month emergency fund in case something there goes haywire. The midwest is very affordable. If one of us permanently was out of work, we would of course just join up or have one of us be the money manager, in the meantime, while were both healthy and happy to work, Id like to have a fair split, no money fights situation.Assistant: 11kyear isnt going to be enough to support 2 adults during retirement. And how did it work when she wasnt working? And what if you want to take a vacation together but she cant afford it because she hasnt saved enough? Then what will happen? What if she gets laid off but doesnt have enough to cover her part of the bills?Im not just asking random questions. Its things like this that make me think keeping separate finances doesnt make sense after marriage.What reasons has she given you for wanting separate finances and why do you think their invalid or less valid than your reasons.Human: If we both live to age 65, the 11k year roth would provide a little over 3 million for us to work with, aside from any other investments or properties along the way. Im looking into investing more into good growth mutual funds but havent got that far yet. Still researching. And how did it work when she wasnt working? I paid for everything. what if you want to take a vacation together but she cant afford it because she hasnt saved enough? For our honeymoon 2 months ago we spent a week in Punta Cana, for round trip tickets and 5 star all inclusive resort for the week it came to 1550 each. We each put away our part and this caused no drama. Amazing place to get away if anyone is looking for one. Iberostar Grand was awesome. What if she gets laid off but doesnt have enough to cover her part of the bills? Then I pay for the bills. We already did this when our son was born for the first 6 months of his life. We each make enough to handle all living expenses if the other one is not working. Assistant: So how is your approach any different than saying well combine fund and each get a 1.3kmonth allowance?Human: Its nearly impossible to measure that, especially as months accumulate and I have no intention of spending even 200 of my 1300. I would have to be a nazi and count her receipts to know what part of the account was actually mine, this constant attention to detail would just spark conflicts in trying to know whos share is whos among the single account. Most importantly is I understand her psychology too well, if she saw a number that was say 15,000 in this account mostly from my buildup, she would quickly have ideas to spend all of my share and hers on something and be upset when I disagreed. we should get a boat we should expand the deck we should get a pool etc. All ideas Ive already been presented with when she saw my emergency fund. I understand common goals, and going towards something we both agree on, but if all our money was joined all the time, I would get hit with waves of ideas to blow it, just like my dad experienced and generally be constantly irritated. I should also add that at age 28, shes already declared bankruptcy once in her life before I met her 5 years ago. I take that as a red flag that Ill have to be the serious one among us, the enforcer of savings if you will. If that means keeping separate accounts and guaranteeing a certain amount of savings that she cant touch, then it seems like a sound way to go.  <response>: I think there are other discussions you need to have about this topic as it sounds like you have different attitudes which cant co-exist in the situation she wants.You keep saying she spends more and she will spend your share. Is this really a concern? If so address this issue and you may find the common ground you are looking for.The issue with split accounts comes down to trust on both ends. 