<prompt> Human: Hi rPFLast Thursday I asked my employer for a modest 10K pay rise. Being a woman and a minority I had to really push past my fears of being perceived as aggressive and unfeminine. However I felt I was being seriously underpaid for my work as I was going above and beyond my role. Today I found out my pay rise was approved, but only up to 80 with the promise of a further pay rise in May, when performance reviews are normally conducted. As this is my first time asking for a pay rise, Im feeling a bit weird about my employers reaction and Im wondering if its normal.Some background: I was definitely underpaid when I first accepted this job due to my nonexistent negotiation skills when it comes to pay. Also As I was still studying to complete my post graduate qualification, I thought it wasnt a big deal because I wasnt fully qualified. Over the past 18 months, as senior people left the company, I had to take on more responsibility and was basically operating at a managerial level. Although during this period I did get some good payrises, I was still getting underpaid relative to the market probably my fault because my starting salary was so low. During this period I also completed my post grad qualification. I generally enjoy my job and Im good at it. being a non confrontational person I foolishly thought I should be patient and the pay disparity would be addressed quickly. After all my performance reviews were great during the year. Then on Thursday i asked for a payrise because I gave up on that fantasy LOL. The good bit: it was easy to book a meeting with my boss on Thursday and I had a positive response by Friday. They are supportive of my career objectives and therefore my pay objectives. In addition to the payrise, I have been invited to attend a boujee work conference interstate. The weird bit:1. I basically got told that while its great that Im so confident in myself, I shouldnt get cocky. I therefore feel less comfortable asking for payrises in the future! Also cocky is the LAST adjective I would use to describe myself. Im gentle soul. Is stating your achievements cocky?2. Staff in general feel underpaid at my company, going off employee survey results. As a result turnover is quite high. I am also still underpaid considering the HIGH demand for my skills right now in the industry. 3. Im dismayed that I didnt get the remuneration I wanted without having to asking for it. I really worked my butt off for my employer over the past 18 months. What if I never worked up the courage?Congratulations if you read all that! Would appreciate feedback anecdotes. Especially if you are a woman of colour. I feel like I got a payrise but begrudgingly. But maybe all pay negotiations are begrudged by default and Im just experiencing internalised sexism by worrying Im too aggressive.Assistant: Sounds normal; congrats for sticking up for yourself. 80 of what you were asking sounds decent. The biggest benefit is using it as a springboard to the next job at a different company. Human: Thank youI actually like my job and dont want to leave for non monetary reasons right now. And I dont believe they want me to leave either. Im just confused as to why they gave me a raise if they were going to make me feel bad about it.I think the company is offended by the idea that they are underpaying their staff. But its the reality lmao Is it normal for employers to get offended by payrises?  <response>: Im just confused as to why they gave me a raise if they were going to make me feel bad about it.like you said in your post you were grossly underpaid before and you still are now - they gave you the raise to keep you there and they know if theres a lot of demand in the industry it may not be so easy to find a replacement willing to work for your salary.Why make you feel bad about? Well they certainly dont want to pay you what youre worth so theyre acting like you are now overpaid and should be happy. They tell you not to get cocky because they dont want you asking for more money in May. Is it normal for employers to get offended by payrises?Who cares! Theyre only employing you so they can make money off of your work. Youre only working for them so you can make money. Offended or not your relation to them is strictly professional. Look at this way: people have emotions, corporations do not, so by bringing emotions into it theyre essentially trying to make you feel bad about the money so you stay quiet and complacent.The company may try to lower your annual raise since they gave you one now so be prepared for that.Also, the company may not be underpaying as much as you think. I once worked somewhere that everyone said was underpaying people and you. Well the underpaying idea was based on industry estimates and so-and-so left to go work at a competitor and got paid way more money. Overtime it became clear that 1 People leaving had more experience2 Every employer pays more for experience outside the organization compared to inside 3 Industry estimates dont necessarily translate to offers4 While we were paid less many people who left had come back within a few months because the places that paid more worked you harder written up for being late, no time to post on reddit, etc.So if everyone at the company is underpaid it may be perception more than reality. 