<prompt> Human: My husband and I have been married for almost a year. Before we got married he had perfect credit, and so was able to get a credit card with a limit of 16,000 shortly after we financed a used vehicle. We used it to pay for some stuff for our wedding, but he kept me in the dark, saying that we could afford everything. As far as I knew, everything that we used that card to pay for would have totalled maybe 8000.Flash forward six months later, and suddenly he tells me that he cant pay for anything with it anymore because it is maxed out. Baffled, I asked what he had used it for, and he said there was nothing out of the ordinary on it, that I had underestimated how much everything cost. This was shortly after we got marriedBeing newlyweds, and with me having a little debt of my own from before we got married that I have been working toward paying off, we had been making the minimum payments on his card. I thought that the balance was going down, slowly but surely, and that once my debt was paid we could concentrate on his. My husband would never let me look at the balance of his credit card for myself, but would give me a rough estimate of what was on it.Yesterday, however, I got fed up and decided to take his card in the middle of the night and look up the balance myself. To my shock, it was nearly 17,000. As it turned out, the payments we were making had been only enough to cover the balance and the insurance for the card, but not to pay down the debt itself. For almost a year our money has been getting nowhere. Furthermore, my husband had lied about what was on the card. My estimate about what we had bought together had been correct, and he bought a bunch of stuff with it without me knowing.My husband does have a small RRSP totalling 13,000. Should we use that to pay part of our debt, or leave it alone and work to pay it off?Right now Im shocked and angry, and just wondering how to go from here. Obviously, there are some relationship issues that need to be worked through, but I am asking for advice with our debt. I want to pay it down but it seems like a mountain that well never get through. Any advice would be helpful!Some background info:My husband works full time and has 17,000 in debt. He does have 13,000 in RRSPs. I am in school full time right now, but have only 6 more courses to complete after this term. I have about 7,000 of debt all from before we met - I wasnt the smartest teenager, plus some student loans to be paid once I have graduated. We definitely dont live beyond our means, yet our budget is tight at the moment.Edit: Thanks for your replies everyone! Some of your advice is very useful.In answer to some of your questions:The majority of his spending that I didnt know about was fast food. Sometimes two or three times a day, in spite of the lunch he took along. There are a couple cash withdrawals, but it doesnt look like anything habitual.The card is in my husbands name. Currently we make about 3500 a month altogether. About a third of that goes to rent, a third goes to debt repayment, and we live on the rest. Until a few months ago I was pretty lenient about budgeting, but have since made one up and we stick to it. We may not have lived within our means before, but we sure do now.  <response>: My wife did this after we got married, and ran up a CC bill of 6000 or so in a year without telling me, or a plan to pay it off. I had to be very direct - this just plain can not happen. We have to operate within a budget, and I must know and have a say if she wants to go outside of it, and she can ask the same from me. If we need to adjust the budget we can talk it out, but our marriage would not work if she is taking on debt that affects me without my knowledge.She got the message and we are on the same level now, some 6 years later. You need to do the same with your husband. Put his accounts in mint so you can see what is happening when you want to without pestering him.As for the debt, you guys need to pay it, if it comes with some pain so be it. Sell stuff, uber, whatever, it needs to be done. Find some clarity in the fact that this sort of event is actually something most couples have to work through once they share finances. It isnt unusual at all, and you should keep a cool head. 