<prompt> Human: Hey guys.My fiancee has approximately 120,000 dollars in loan debt. This was between 5 years of pretty expensive undergraduate education and unfortunate significant medical expenses including invasive surgery.She got a job in her field animal sciences, but at the entry-level pay, she wasnt making enough to pay minimum loan payments and also living expenses such as an apartment and food, etc. She ended up living with her father who was her closest contact to her new job and lived out in the boonies. This was a two-hour drive to work, then after it was a two-hour drive back. There was a lot of gas money involved, but it still was cheaper than renting an apartment.She is currently stuck. She has actually gone back to school to finish a second, related undergraduate degree. The purpose is two-fold: In the short-term, it allows her to defer her loans which has allowed her to pay off a couple of the smaller loans. In the long-term, this creates a better platform for her to approach further education, hopefully resulting in acceptance to a doctoral program. The idea is that if she gets her PhD, she can approach the same companies she was working for before as a researcher which is her dream as opposed to an entry-level caretaker of the animals and lab prep.Im at a loss. I love the girl, but I am terrified of getting into something that I have no control over. I dont know how to help. She has generally managed to make minimum payments for about a year now, but its a constant question... where will the money come from next month?...What is there for hermeus to do? As I see it now, Im wondering if we even have a prosperous future together... or if were doomed to live under the weight of her loan debt for the rest of our lives.I hear horror stories like this one, but success stories seem so circumstantial and never really applicable. What options do we as individuals even have when we cant find the money to live beyond paying 4 digits worth of loan payments every month?TL;DR girl I love has crushing loan debt from school and medical bills. Cant pay for basic living expenses, let alone find money to get married and start a family. Worried that even if I help to support her, we will forever be at a status quo of debt repayment, with no room for financial growth or freedom. At a loss. Advice requested.Assistant: This is going to sound completely and totally nasty, but I really dont mean it to, so please take that into account... When did love come down to sorry, your debts are too high? Do you love her? Really love her? Debt and all? Im not saying that someone should be with a spendthrift but this seems like a completely different situation. She isnt in debt because shes frivolous, she used the money to pay for education and health expenses. Its different. And you seem completely obsessed with choosing money over love! THIS IS CRAZY! My suggestion: Dump her. Dump her so she can find someone who actually loves her, even with her terrible situation. Human: Ouch.Some of what youre saying is the hardest part of all this. I grew up in a rather poor family and neighborhood and I have done fairly well with myself since. Ive always had money for tooling around, and now that Im out of school Im hoping to move forward with a career and exceed what was provided for me in hopefully every measure. Thats been a life-goal of mine since I was in middle school.Is it really so bad of me to take issue with such crippling debt? I want to help her, not run. But in either case, it still creates a significant amount of friction as you might expect.  <response>: In a utopian world, love would prevail over money. Love would prevail over all! But the fact of the matter is, we live in the real world. Youre thinking logically, and that is a good thing. This person is just legitimately wrong. You have to take into account all parts of a person when you date them, whether that be what their future goals are, their looks, and even their debt. There is nothing wrong with ending a relationship if being them would put you in a position you dont want to be in. I personally would never date someone with loans that high. You basically cripple your entire life. So, now you dont get to save a dime until youre 30? Well shit now that you waited so long to save, goodbye retiring at 65! See the progression? 