<prompt> Human: Im about to turn 31 and I feel like Ill never get ahead. How do you all not just give up?Before taxes I make 77Kyear at my day job, plus a few thousand extra freelancing. My wife makes 50Kyear. I have 35K in student loans and my wife owes her parents 25K from grad school.My loans:- 20K federal at 3.75 interest, min payment 215month- 8K private at 4.5, min payment 76month- 3K private at 4, min payment 92monthI pay 215 on my federal loan and 150 on each of the private loans every month. I pay even more on the 3K loan when I have the money to. It feels like Ill never pay them off. My wife pays her parents 100month and they charge her 1 interest. I look into refinancing the highest interest loan every 6 months but nobody has been able to beat my current interest rate. The only way to make more money at my current job government researcher is to get another degree but Im hesitant to take on more debt. My job will not pay for another degree. Even with the cheapest degree, Ill rack up another 10K or so in debt. I could get a different job and make more, but I really love my job. I have flexible hours, a lot of freedom, and work on projects most researchers only dream of. I save about 700month, but usually once a year something comes up that costs a few months worth of savings a big tax bill, moving, unexpected traveling, etc. So, Im probably saving closer to 5Kyear. My wife saves nothing - maybe 1Kyear. 5 of my salary is paid into the pension system. I put 1 into a TDA government doesnt do 401K. If I get closer to vesting 10 years I plan to contribute more. My wife contributes 6 of her salary to her 401K, she gets a 50 match.We live in a small, walk up apartment, with no amenities not even a dishwasher or washerdryer. I pack lunch basically every day, I make my own coffee, I dont buy myself new clothes or gadgets unless theyre necessary for freelancing work. The only fun expense I have is my dog - which is still cheaper than having a kid.I know my situation is really not as bad as others Ive read about on here, but I just feel broke and stressed all the time and cant see a way forward without significantly downgrading my quality of life which is already mediocre or resigning myself to just existing like this for the rest of my life.Edit:Combined monthly expense breakdownRent: 2500 Electric and gas: 65Internet: 55Phone: 130Loans: 615 215 fed, 300 private for me; 100 for wifeSavings: 700Groceries: 350-450Transportation: 240 public transportationHealth insurance: 160 I pay 0 for insurance, wife pays 80paycheckWife medical expenses: 260Dog food: 125Dog training: 150Dog walking: 240Dog health insurance: 35Routine vet care: 100 averageAside from these recurring expenses, other stuff always comes up. My wife had 3 grandparents die in the past year - each of those required a trip out of state which means a rental car cheaper to take the dog with us than to board her, gas, tolls. We live in the highest COL area in the US. Basic things like food are extraordinarily expensive. We dont eat meat or buy lots of alcohol or other expensive grocery items - its mostly lots of fruits, veggies, beans, and grains plus regular stuff like coffee. I eat toast and either a hard boiled egg or almond butter and honey for breakfast every day - sometimes an apple or banana. edit 2: our combined take home is 6,500month. If it sounds low, remember that 5 of my salary goes into a pension plan I cant cut this - its required because of my job, I also have union dues taken out of my check over 100month - again, I wish I could drop the union but I have no control over that, plus another 1 into a TDA, and we live in a heavily taxed citystate. My wife also contributes 6 of her salary to a 401K.Assistant: 1. Where are you putting that 5k in savings? Do you already have an emergency fund built up? Is this beating out your student loan interest?2. Why are you throwing money at the 3k loan? The 7k loan has higher interest?3. Go back and look at your expenses over the last 6 months. What are you actually spending on groceries? What do you spend at retail stores? What have you spent on vacations? What do you spend on going out? Are you buying 3 50 bottles of wine every weekend? Are you renting a car twice a month?4. What do you pay for housing expenses? Paying 2.5k on rent rather than 1.8k really adds up. Assuming youre in a lower cost of living area, could you downsize to something in the 1.2k range? Are you paying 200 for cable and internet youre not even using? Do you pay more than 100 for your combined phone bills? Look at how you can decrease your day-to-day spending, but also your fixed expenses.You guys are taking home over 6k per month. Figure out where the money is leaking, and make a budget.Human: 1. A mix of straight savings and investments - my average returns are double my loan interest. We do have an emergency fund.2. The 3K loan is off the books - a friend lent me 5K to pay off a high interest 11 private student loan. I dont get a tax break on the interest paid so Im trying to just get rid of it.3. We rent cars for Thanksgiving and Christmas to visit my in laws. This is a big money suck, but we dont spend enough on rentals to warrant buying a car. There are laws against car sharing in our city, so if we bought a car we couldnt really make money with it. We dont vacation often every other year, and when we do I try to be as cheap as possible. We dont buy many retail goods, unless I need them for work I had to buy a new computer this month.4. 2500 is cheap for the area we live in. Every year I look for cheaper apartments, but I usually cant find much without being in a really bad place. Like, we could live in a less safe area, double our commutes to work we already both travel 45 mins each way, but then groceries would cost even more and dog expenses would increase. We move every year or two to avoid rent increases. Until we can buy a place it will be a struggle to decrease housing expenses.Assistant: Well, it seems to me that youre living pretty comfortably if you can afford to tuck away 700 into savings and 600 towards random dog stuff.Thats 1,300 a month right there, which is more than what someone earning minimum wage earns in a month in Wisconsin.Human: Yeah, well if I had this salary in Wisconsin I wouldnt have much to worry about haha  <response>: Okay, but you have a 1,300 surplus in your budget that goes to savings and spoiling your dog. I dont see what the real issue is? That you cant live like you earn 300kyear? Are you missing any financial milestones that you havent mentioned?I have a feeling that this is really more anxiety related. Maybe pay for a couple of sessions with a financial advisory or a therapist. I think one or the other would set you in the right direction. 