<prompt> Human: EDIT: Thank you all so much for your advice! Simply put, I need to stop hand-holding and start being more direct about their situation. I plan on meeting with them next week they have some doctor appointments they really need to go to since their insurance is ending soon. Plus theyre having a garage sell this weekend, hopefully theyll bring in some cash. Im going to ask them what their plan is if they dont find work soon. I dont know is not an acceptable answer, and will be met with Well, lets make one now. I will not discuss them moving in unless they bring it up first, in which case weve decided the direct truth is needed: Theyve been irresponsible, theyve ignored my advice repeatedly, and we cannot support these poor decisions or let them into our home. I will help them find jobs, and even help submit applications to hopefully get things moving. Thank you all again for your advice and directness. TLDR; My parents have been making financially bad decision after bad decision, completely ignore my advice, and are rapidly running out of money. They have no back-up plan. Im afraid Im the back-up plan. While I would not mind helping family out of a tough situation, theyve brought this on themselves and that makes me not want to help- but I need to, you know? Looking for ideas I can pass onto them to help themselves without burdening myself.Hi PF. Im here to hopefully find some resources to direct my parents to, to help them financially. Some background:My dad is a Journeyman for a heavy equipment operators union, but has been on and off of the out of work list for 3 years hes worked maybe a total of 4 months all added up in that time. His lack of work is partly because the union gets money from the government to keep apprentices working but not Journeyman, partly because he keeps fucking up his placement on the out-of-work list ending up at the back of the line over and over, and partly because hes lazy as fuck and refuses to look for a new job always makes bad excuses for why he cant, they are all BSMy mom is an accountant. She worked for a city job for 9 years, but got tangled in office politics, pissed off her boss, and got put on a 3-month probation As of Dec 2016. With government jobs, this is basically the first step to getting fired, I told her to job search the second she got put on probation Ive been telling her to apply to temp agencies for the past 9 months, she still has not. She has over 20 years of accounting experience, and could get a job easily, I know it. Instead, she joined the Mary Kay cult I tried to stop her. Really, really tried. Shes lost her fucking mind. She got offered a severance package to leave a month early. She thought she could claim unemployment, but surprise surprise, you cant do that when youve quit.Since my dads been out of work so long, they nearly lost their house a year and a half ago, but were able to get the mortgage paid for by Keep Your Home California. This month was the last month KYHCA paid they only pay for up to 18 months. I tried getting my parents to look into selling their house I mentioned they needed to pursue it seriously 6 months ago, but theyre not bothering because theyre not likely to have any equity they refinanced right before my dad stopped working, and KYHCA takes back everything they paid if you sell within 5 years of their last payment. My mom cashed-out her retirement to squeeze out 1, maybe 2 more months of mortgage payments I advised against this, as 1. Its fucking all they have for retirement and it already wasnt much. and 2. Theyre almost certain to lose the house regardless, so dumping what little money they have left into mortgage is idiotic. I was again, ignored.Their only income is 500 rent from my sister and her husband unreliably, too, and 600 rent from my aunt. Neither party is able to pay more, and are likely screwed when the house is foreclosed on. They keep spending money like theyre not in a financial emergency. I asked my mom yesterday What are you going to do if you dont both have jobs in the next 1-2 months? Whats your plan?. She said they dont have one.Im scared that Im their plan. We have a house, with one room that is spare its currently the guest room, will be future kids room in the next 2 or so years. If this situation were different, if they had just fallen on unavoidable hard times, Id be happy to help with a place to stay cant really help financially, as we have retirement goals. But my dad has been a lazy-ass for going on 3 years. But my mom has ignored advice to look for a new job for the past 9 months, ignored advice to stay the fuck away from Mary Kay, ignored advice to NOT cash out her retirement to pay for 1-2 months mortgage on a house theyll most certainly lose, and they both are still spending money like they are employed. It makes me feel like they dont deserve my help.I dont want them to move in. I love them, but I also love having my home to myself and my spouse. Having them here would be an inconvenience and a burden. And helping them in this way would involve a lot of resentment and bitterness due to their choosing to be in this situation. So, what I need help with: Do you know of any government programs that can help aside from Covered California for medical, and food stamps, Ive already suggested both? Theyre in CA, but can move pretty much anywhere in the US if needed. Anything to help them keep their cars? Government assisted car insurance They need their cars if they ever hope to get jobs.? Cheaper housing that doesnt have a 2-4 year wait-list? Seriously, anything? I need to be able to point them in the direction of help that doesnt lead back to my house.Assistant: So if Im reading this right there are 5 adults mom, dad, sister, brother-in-law, aunt living in this house? And it sounds like at least aunt and sisterbrother-in-law have money coming in- would it be more helpful to approach them, make sure they understand the situation with the house, and help them find some plan for other housing? A collection of 5 adults can find a way to house themselves. If you havent already, you need to be clear with your parents that living with you is not an option. Something like: This situation really worries me, and Im available anytime if you want help with financial planning, resume critiques, downsizing the house and cars, or applying for state assistance. But to be clear- you cant live with me, and my budget doesnt have any room for financial helpwould only allow for a small amount of financial help. Saying this before they ask, while theyre still pretending everything is fine, will make it much easier to say no when the shit hits the fan. I realize this is kinda an rrelationships answer, but thats also probably where this question belongs, because you already understand the financial implications of their situation. What you really need to do is talk to your spouse, define your boundaries no financial assistance, X amount of financial assistance, whatever and stand by that boundary for the sake of your marriage and your future children. Human: My sister and brother-in-law are paying rent from barely working part-time retail. And they have a 3 year-old. Their plan for housing is to move in with a friend. My aunt would be their best bet to find maybe a 2 bedroom apartment to share with, but theyd still need to have income of their own to pay their share of rent. :I told my mom yesterday that they needed to figure out what their plan is, as we are not keen on them moving in, and it would have to be discussed with out roomate a friend of mine who is renting a room from us. But its a lot different, as they literally keep to the room and dont infringe on our livescost us anything, with the added bonus of increasing our savings with rent money. My spouse and I have discussed at the very least not letting my mom be homeless but we cant just say yes mom, no dad. We both know the possibility is there, but more in-depth discussion will be had before any answer would be given.Assistant: I think this is your big mistake here. You need to categorically tell your folks that moving in with you is not an option. Not wed prefer not to, although we can discuss it later, but rather a firm no. They need to fully understand that youre not some magical out they have at the end. This will force them to get their shit together and actually solve their problems. Otherwise I guarantee you they will be relentless and eventually find a way to move in. You need to do this before its too late for them to find answers. It sounds to me they believe youll ultimately break despite your protests and thus arent really forced to do anything. If you give any openings, it will only further enable their foolishness.Human: I would do this, but I dont know how Id word it. The fact of the matter is I absolutely could not let my mother be homeless. I know in the post I laid out all of her current poor qualities, but honestly up until her job went to shit, she was the opposite. She was the responsible, reasonable one. She has helped me in the past though my situation wasnt quit so dire, or self inflicted, and she is dear to me.So I would let her move in, if it came to homelessness. But I dont know how to word that without sounding like a heartless ass, while at the same time strongly suggesting I really dont want them here.  <response>: There is no satisfying solution here. Either you risk your personal finances and your marriage or you risk that your parents may hate you. Whatever your decision may be, be 100 clear in how you word it.Here is an additional idea: What about you helping them out financially when shit hits the fan? Send them 200 a month. Its the middle ground between having them move in potentially forever and not doing anything. At the same time its not so much support to discourage them from helping themselves. 