<prompt> Human: Im an engineer currently making 82k per year in the heart of the silicon valley equidistant between Google and Apple. I recently got a job offer in San Diego for 95k with great benefits. I told my current employer about it and they matched the offer. I turned down the offer with my current employer because of the difference in the cost of housing. Im getting married and would like to buy a house and have kids in the near future. Im finding houses near the SD employer range between 400-600k. Equivalent houses here range anywhere between 850k-1.5M. So cost of living was the biggest driver in my decision.Fast forward to today and my current employer asked what my price is to stay. Being caught off guard i told them somewhere in the neighborhood of 120k. My wife will be making about 95k whether we stay here or move to San Diego. However when we have kids in the next 2 to 3 years and she will be staying home to raise them. We also arent really looking to buy a condo.Is it irresponsible of me to effectively take a 25k pay cut to live in an area that is cheaper to live? Im looking for advice.  <response>: Why cant you tell the employer in SD that you really want to work for them, but have an offer of 120K to stay in bay area. They may not match, but they may offer more.It sounds like right now, you feel the two are roughly equivalent else it wouldnt be a hard decision. But if the SD employer can offer more, even if they cant match, you are in a better place.Also, sometimes companies HR departments have firm top level range for salary. It may be the SD company cant go higher on salary but there are other things you can negotiate for - another week of vacation time per year? More stock options? Pay for your cell phone and internet at home so you can work at home? Work some days at home? Matching 401k? Pay for your share of healthcare and other benefits? Gym membership?The reason why I mention the personal expenses internet, cell, etc., is that these are cheaper for your company to pay than you because they are pre-tax expenses for them, but likely post-tax expenses for you. 