<prompt> Human: Heres my story: Were a same-sex couple, got married in 2012. When we were dating, my wife had lost her secretary job and decided to go back to school to become a nurse. About a year before we got married, her car was broken into and her ID stolen, including birth certificate and SIN card Canada equivalent of SSN. Multiple things were taken out in her name, most of what we thought we dealt with. I found out that she was lying about nursing school, and had been kicked out 6 months prior to me finding out. In time time, she had been sitting at home while I went to schoolwork, and was being financed from her parents 3K a month. I made her get a job but she still didnt pay her debts. About a month before we got married, she got bills saying she owed close to 10,000 in unpaid credit card bills. Also bills saying she hadnt paid her student loans. I was understandably SO UPSET... but I didnt call off the wedding. Im very lucky as my parents paid for my undergrad degree, and I have one credit card that I pay off in full every month I HATE debt. I am currently doing a PhD and get a moderate stipend from a research grant I was awarded 2000month and tutor a few nights a week 150week minimum. She is working an entry-level health care job making 18hour, 35 hours a week. Were struggling to say the least. My question for you redditers is what would you do in terms of paying things down:1 She has about 10K in CC debt that is in collections, marked as delinquent on her credit report. Theyve pretty much stopped calling on that one. 2 She has a 16K student loan that she pays 300month on. The bill every month says 75 interest ? - seems high. 3 She has a 350month car payment that her mother currently pays. As soon as she got this new job she wanted to buy a house. She wanted me to pay her deliquent CC debt with my 10K savings, and then she wanted meus to take out a LOC for a house downpayment. I said no. She wants to have kids even though Im still a student.. and says that shell make it work. Im not ready yet. Shes paying the 300month SL payment but its like pulling teeth. Her parents are also in debt quite a lot and I think her attitude about money is because of the way she was raised. Debt free money. She isnt good at working hard for things example: she wants to adopt a family of kids instead of getting pregnant naturally with donor sperm because she thinks adoption is quicker than 10months of pregnancyIm starting to think that this is just such a mess, and she and I are so different in the finances department. But then I think about getting a divorce and get sad. I couldnt afford our place by myself, and weI have dogs that would need a place to live, hard in our city. end rant. Just needed to get this out there. I dont want to re-pay her debts for her because I feel like that is not going to teach her a lesson... but at the same time, the debt is holding us back SO much.  <response>: She really has absolutely no reason to change. You married her despite knowing how terrible she is with finances, and despite the fact that she lied you about extremely important things in yourher life. Do not pay her bills, and do not have kids anytime soon, cause and I hate to say this if she does not change, I see nothing but divorce and problems down the road for you two. 