<prompt> Human: hi! Ive been reading pf for months but its my first time posting. Im a single parent, 27f, living with my mom, and have been for the past 2 years. I have a 1 12 year old daughter. My mom and I constantly fight and its wearing us both down. I think I finally need to move out but it just seems so impossible. I have some debt right now and between that and lifes necessities I dont know how anyone survives. I live in a small town in PA. I was working for a temp agency making 13hr but the company just moved to hire me fulltime at 14hour. I did try to negotiate a higher starting rate but the GM turned me down, with the suggestion that I work hard for a raise in April. I just started this past Monday, so my first paycheck wont be for two weeks. Im assuming Ill roughly be making after-taxes 940biweekly or about 1880month. Current budget:2017 Toyota Corolla 0, balance 19k: 280month Car insurance: 185month Gas money: roughly 150month my job is about 45 miles each way Verizon Wireless, 1 phone: 80monthBank loan 12.9, balance 9500: 190monthBabysitter: Roughly about 600month. I have 4 credit cards, all at 0. I occasionally put gas or food expenses on them just to use them and pay them off each month. My credit score hovers in the mid-700s. Right now Im at 1,335month, and thats not including rent or food or any other sort of necessity. I found a place thats 675, 2 bedrooms, and within 3 miles of my job. This is the cheapest I have found in this area; everything else is 800 or higher. I made an appointment with the owner to view it tomorrow. Gas will go down per month, but babysitting may go up, as right now Im using a very sweet, reliable stay-at-home mom who only charges 150week, and Ill probably have to switch to a daycare nearby. Ill also need internet, which Im assuming will be between 50-75 per month. I can do without tv. I can also subsist on rice and beans, which I know everyone here loves to tell people to live off of, lol, so I could keep my food budget low for myself, and only spend on fruits and vegetables and protein for my daughter. Her father and I are not together, but are on friendly terms. Hes attending college about 3 hours away right now, so he does not see her often. He only has a part-time internship at college and he uses the money primarily for his personal college expenses. He gives me 100 here and there when he can. Im on very good terms with his parents, who babysit a few times a month for free, including overnight, which is a nice break occasionally. I hesitate to legally ask him for child support, as I imagine it would be very little anyway and I dont want to endanger my good relationship with his parents. My job does have the opportunity for overtime whenever I want it, but that just means more babysitting fees, and finding someone to watch her nightsweekends is harder than Mon-Fri, 8-5, plus I always feel guilty that I have so little time with her. I dont really want to downgrade my car, especially since its already at 0 for the entirety of the car loan. I put anything extra I can at the bank loan, and I hope to have it paid with my tax refund and anything else I can throw at it within the next year. But total that puts me at a little over 2000month, which is just not feasible. Even if I wait 6 months until the bank loan is paid off, freeing up that 190, Id still just about break even each month. Does anyone have any suggestions? It just seems hopeless, and like I have no option but to continue living here miserably forever with my mom who nags at me constantly and does nothing herself. How does anyone survive with one job, a little bit of debt, and all of lifes necessities? Assistant: I dont really want to downgrade my car, especially since its already at 0 for the entirety of the car loan. Well, I wont advise you to downgrade it - my advice would be to sell it.If you bring home 1,880month, then you are spending 33 of your pay on your transportation. And that is before registration fees or maintenance.It is unsustainable. Since you are looking for places close to work, then using the bus or biking will be a real option for you. And it will give you the ability to actually make ends meet. You cant afford your car. At all.What you are spending on transport right now would cover most of your new rent.He gives me 100 here and there when he can.Do you think this is fair to your child?You may have qualms about asking for yourself, but you are spending 600month just on babysitting, not to mention anything else a small child needs. Even with the car gone and the new place, you will still be living close to the edge. Is that fair to your child that you dont go after what she deserves because you dont want to possibly upset her grandparents who it seems only chip in with a few days of babysitting? How much is that worth?Your child needs a secure home. Yes, it seems she came at a bad time when her parents were not financially stable, but why does the burden of that action by two people only fall onto you? He can take loans for his personal expenses and contribute financially to the life he brought into this world. Because your daughter deserves it and that is her right.Human: I plugged in some estimates based on the post into a calculator and came up with a payment of 164. Essentially the question is whether or not that is worth increased animosity is even more than the 100 when he can arrangement they already have.Assistant: Thanks, didnt realize child support calculators were a thing or I wouldve done it myself. Thats what I assumed. To me, thats not worth potentially upsetting our relationship for. Do I expect him to help out 100x more when hes out of college and has a full time job? Yes, absolutely.  <response>: If a parent will become acrimonious with their childs mother just because they are asked to support a child they made together, what makes you think they will naturally start volunteering 100x more in terms of time and money when they have completed their child-free education and are earning real professional levels of money?My assumption is that you have already spoken to the father and the 100 here and there was the result. You can try, of course, to talk to your childs grandparents and ask them if they can help as well since their son isnt. But getting a legal obligation from the father will save you a lot of trouble in the future. Expectations are not enough to bank on. Hopefully it also wakes him up to the fact that you are shouldering the burden by yourself and cant do that anymore.As for the now, the car is still the big ticket item that you can change to really make a difference in your budget. 