<prompt> Human: tldr; questions1. My girlfriend owes me 4,000, about 2,500 to her friends, 1000 to her family, and over 1000 to banks. Shes currently barely making enough money to pay her bills. How can she even begin to pay people back? Who should she begin to pay back first?2. What should I do when my girlfriend approaches me about financial issues. If she says, I need to pay the payment on my car, Im short 30. What do I say? Shes never actually direct enough to say Give me money that would be very un-Japanese but I feel like I cant just let her not pay her bills. ___This may be better suited for rRelationships, but here goes anyway.When we first started dating, her employer changed her payday, and since she would be getting her paycheck at a different time than she was expecting, she asked if I would lend her 200, which would then be paid back when she received her paycheck. We did that. She asked if we could keep doing that every month until she could catch up. I said sure.After a few months, a friend of mine came into town. We took them out to dinner, entertained them, and spent a lot of money doing so. She used her credit card a lot. When the bill came around, she couldnt pay it. I helped her pay her bills, and I told her she could wait until next month to pay me back for the regular 200 I had been lending her every month.But things got worse. Since she used all her money and a good deal of mine to pay off the credit card bill, she had no cash left over. So she used her credit card to pay for everything that month. And then next month she couldnt pay it. Rinse and repeat.This continued until it put me in a position where I couldnt pay for my own bills. We decided to take out a loan. I did it in my name, and we agreed that shed pay me half of the monthly payment every month 100. We took out a loan for 3,000, I gave her half. Things were... okay after that. Except that she didnt have enough money to pay me the 100 every month for the loan. She changed jobs, and since she was in a transition between jobs, I told her not to worry about it until she got settled into her new job. Besides, this new job ought to pay more.Except the new job didnt pay more. She expected to get a good deal of overtime. She has not gotten overtime. On a good month she makes about 1,200, on a bad month about 800. This isnt so bad though seeing as she lives with her parents, so she doesnt have to pay rent. However, every other month, she seems to need financial help with paying bills.At this point, if I include the loan, she owes me 4,000 USD. Thats not including times Ive paid for things such as dinners, gas, trips out, etc. Those kinds of things I dont count at all. Thats 4,000 of money going directly to loans. Ive since found out that she owes about 1,000 to her mother, 1200 to one of her friends, and another 2,000 to another one of her friends. She has a loan she took out to travel about five years ago I dont know what the remaining balance is, but the monthly payment is around 100.How can we even begin to fix this?This is a huge burden on me financially and a huge burden on our relationship. I want her to pay me back because I feel that being financially in debt to your partner doesnt make for a healthy relationship, but at the same time I sort of feel like she should prioritize paying back her friends and family.Assistant: Stop being her bank.If you dont, eventually its going to be so toxic your relationship wil disintegrate, its already starting to fall apart.Human: Okay. How? What do I do when she comes to me and says, I thought Id have this much money... but I only have this much. And I have to pay for this, this, and this.Just say, Sorry, that sucks. Cant help you? If you dont, eventually its going to be so toxic your relationship wil disintegrate, its already starting to fall apart.I agree on all accounts. But what does that look like practically?  <response>: This is definitely more of a rrelationships question. Id suggest posting it there as well. 