<prompt> Human: Ill add some details about my situation, but if its too long just skip it, Id rather hear about what worked, or didnt work, for you...My SO and I each bring in about 75k a year. I have no dependents, my SO has 3. Before taking the next step marriage, I need to get our finances under control.I have my own business, and am used to keeping an emergency fund that would keep me afloat for at least three months, six if Im really frugal. I dont get paid on a regular basis, and sometimes my clients are late with their payments, so its a necessity.My SO gets a weekly direct deposit, which is always completely spent before the next direct deposit. Which leaves the responsibility on my shoulders to pay rent, bills, groceries and any other major expenses. I can say no when a friend wants to borrow money, but I cant say no when my soon to be stepkid needs glasses. My emergency fund is now completely depleted, and Im completely stressed out.There seems to be a weekly cycle with my SO. Paycheck comes in, commence taking the whole family out to dinner, going on a shopping spree for stuff that we admittedly could use, but isnt really the biggest priority either. A couple of bills get paid. The week goes by and then it becomes a famine, a few days with barely enough money to afford gas or groceries, and then another check comes in, and it repeats. Im tired of telling my SO not to spend money. It makes me feel like a jerk.My SO is addicted to using bank advances, and the fees average about 440 a month, which is completely insane. I have a pile of my SOs outstanding bills, some of which have been ignored so long that theyve gone into collections. Ive worked with my SO over the padt 2 years to resolve these issues, but it seems like for every collector that gets paid off, another bill has gone unpaid. Every time I get the bank advances down to zero, I turn around and theyre maxed out again. Im tired of being the only one who cares about a budget and being financially stable. Im tired of being the bad guy and making the kids eat at home when my SO wants to eat out. I dont want to become resentful of always being the responsible one and going without, and I dont want this relationship to fall apart because of finances...What Id like to do is come up with a plan that allows us both to contribute equally to bills so that neither one feels like theyre being taken advantage of, prioritizes monthly expenses savings, and gives both of us a reasonable budget allowance to spend.My plan is to set up one joint checking account that my SOs check is deposited into weekly, and Ill make an equal monthly contribution from my business account. That account will only be used for paying bills, the debit cards will be filed away so they cant be used for random expenses. My goal is for this account to have more incoming than outgoing, so that were building the emergency fund back up. Once the emergency fund is in place, the extra money will go towards savings, retirement, large purchases, vacations.Well each have a separate spending account for expenses such as gas, groceries, work lunches, clothing, kid stuff, etc. I can set up a certain amount to be automatically transferred into the accounts on a weekly basis, but havent yet worked out exactly how much or how to do it fairly. If one of us purchases the majority of the groceries, for example, should that person have more money deposited into their spending account?Does this seem reasonable? Is there a better way? Any and all thoughts are appreciated.  <response>: I think you have relationship issues here. Your SO has a money problem, and its not one that can be solved by limits you impose. Unless youre in some kinky financial dominance relationship. Your SO can always open a credit card secretly or sign a loan secretly, without your knowledge. And if you force her to hide her issues, she may never deal with them.Otherwise, I think its quite common for one person to care more about the budget. My SO is very good at keeping a budget. But Im more interested. So I keep track of all the money, and make sure the bills are paid. But Im doing this as a household chore that has to be done, not because Im trying to take over control. And he can and would do whatever with his financial situation, and that includes things like opening a loan that might ruin both of our financial life. 