<prompt> Human: Update 1 February 19, 2018, 1:12 PM CST: Well, fuck, its Presidents Day, a lot of places are closed.Update 2: Well gosh dang it to heck, Ive already had to block someone who would not stop telling me to grow up and stop whining. Dude, I dont know why you have to send me three messages about that.Update 3 Feburary 22, 2018, 3:35 PM CST: Just got my first call back since I posted this thread. I need to call the manager tomorrow at 7 AM to set up an interview she had already gone home for the day when I got the voicemail. The business is less than 6 miles away from home.Update 4: Edit: Added missing and.I need a new place to live.Hey Reddit, first time poster, long time lurker. I normally stick to the gaming subs TF2, Overwatch, DotA, Magic, DD but I learned about the more grown-up parts of this site so here I am today. I am 33 years old and I live with my 55 year old mother, my late-20s cousin, and his early 20s girlfriendwife cant tell if theyre actually married or shes just using his name. I am looking to move out of this home we share because I cant take the emotional abuse anymore see below if you want to hear my sob story, otherwise, just ignore it. By my reckoning, I have about 25,000 tied up overseas, which were trying to bring in legally. My brother is advancing me an unknown amount this Tuesday. Currently, I spend 1000 per month on the mortgage, about 150 per month on electricity which is several months behind, 100 per month on water and sewer and garbage, 170 per month on Spectrum TV, Internet, and phone, and 45 on my cellphone. Thats 1465 per month on utilities and mortgage alone. I prefer preparing and cooking my own meals to eating out, so I can probably save a lot of money if I continue to do so in my new home. I do not drink alcohol, soda, coffee, or anything other than water. From time to time, I can drink juice, but I mostly drink water. I am obese and have high blood pressure and diabetes because of this. However, I have gone down to 320 lbs. from my peak of over 360 lbs. when I stopped weighing myself. I went down to 313 lbs. last week but the stress has obliterated my progress, though I have since stabilized again at 320 lbs. The last time I went to the doctor, though, my HPB was under control and my diabetes was much better than it had ever been since I was diagnosed about a decade ago. Once a week, I go to my FLGS to play Magic: the Gathering. The entry fee is 5 and on some weeks, I pay nothing since I use banked store credit to pay for it. I maintain only two decks, one for competitive play, and the other made up for casual play so I can play with the casual players in my community without completely obliterating them. I never impulse buy cards. I have access to two vehicles whose ownership is in question: a 2012 Dodge Grand Caravan and a 2006 Chevy Cobalt with a broken starter. I will need the money that my brother is advancing before I can get the Cobalt fixed. Ive been told by the neighbor across the street as well as YouTube videos I watched that I can do it myself. He can even lend me the tools to do it so I can save even more money. Ive been unemployed since November. I got fired from my second last job due to my mothers shenanigans; we both got fired because of her toxicity, although I remain on very good terms with my former bosses and coworkers. I got let go from my previous job because I wasnt good at it. On my assessment sheet when I was let go, I basically failed at everything except ethics and morals and getting along with coworkers, i.e. they think Im a good man but I suck at the job, so they couldnt keep me.---Incoming sob story, feel free to ignore.February 12, 2018My mother slipped and fell on the sidewalk. She lay in sub-freezing temperature for about fifteen minutes by her reckoning, and only survived because the garbage man found her. I believe he got the attention of one of our neighbors, and she knocked on my door for help.No one in my house or in the neighborhood heard her scream for help because her two dogs drowned out the sound of her voice. She has two completely untrained dogs that she does not take care of properly - she doesnt walk them nor play with them, and she simply gives them food and water whenever they bark until they shut up they never do.Anyway, she was taken to the hospital, where she remains as of the time of this writing.February 16, 2018My mothers two dogs would not stop barking in our fenced-in yard. I tried to get both of them in but only managed to get one of them; the other refused to come in no matter what I did. At 11:00 PM, the neighbor who lived behind me came to my door and told me to get the dogs in. He was drunk and enraged, but I felt no fear at all. I promised him that Id take the dogs to the animal shelter tomorrow.February 17, 2018My cousin and his girlfriend found out what I did. He was furious, and, fearing for our safety, I called the police to ask for an escort home so I could retrieve the dogs paperwork which I left behind because one of them slipped out of her leash and I didnt want to have to chase her down in case she got loose. The cops told me that they couldnt help me unless some crime actually occured, but advised that I should use the voice recorder app on my phone to document everything.I go back home, and no one is there. Shortly after arriving, my cousin and his girlfriend arrived and he banged on my door, trying to get in. We had a screaming match through my locked bedroom door, which was documented on my voice recorder app. I then called 911 on him. The cops talked to everyone there. They also listened to the voice recording. We were advised to stay away from each other.Oblivious Animal CrueltyTurning in the dogs was less-than-legal since Im not their owner, but I did so because they were a nuisance to the neighborhood and no one in the house takes care of them properly. Other than myself, no one there knows how to properly take care of animals, and I dont want to take care of them. They simply shove food their way until they stop barking, which means they never do. They dont play with them nor walk them.Heck, plants under my mothers care wither and die, and she finds this funny. My cousin once kept his pet rabbits in a small cage in our old house for their entire lives, keeping them alive but not allowing them the freedom to move around. My mother and my cousin are basically Elmyra from Tiny Toon Adventures or Darla the kid with the bracers in Finding Nemo: Obliviously cruel to animals they love.However, the neighbors will back me up, last time I checked, and the animal shelter agrees with my assessment that the dogs will live healthier and longer lives away from my mother. One of my neighbors told me that my fellow Americans care more about pets than kids, and when they find out how my family treats their dogs, I will likely get off from Felony Animal Theft 5050 chance that my mother files charges against me.Double Standards and Financial IrresponsibilityOkay, so heres the deal. I pay the mortgage and the utility bills in this house. Or at least used to, until my money ran out. My family has never treated me with respect, and treats me completely differently from everyone else at home.When my cousin ran our cellphone bill 800 over what we pay every month because he kept using his cellphone while on a cruise in the Caribbean, my mother told him, Nephew, well figure something out. When I use too many ingredients in my cooking, she chews me out for wasting money.When it was just me and my mother living in this house, our thermostat was fixed at 75F and 65F in summer and in winter respectively. When he moved in here, she changed it to 72F and 68F. He didnt get chewed out for not layering clothes, while my mother yelled at me for not wearing weather-appropriate clothing.Both of them are very bad with money. In December, while I was scrambling to pay bills, my cousin, my mother, and my cousins girlfriend went on a cruise to the Caribbean.In the past, I have had to bail out my mother from a payday loan because she didnt read the fine print and was too ashamed to borrow money from me, despite her knowing that I have a standing offer to lend her an arbitrarily large amount of money that she can pay at cost and at her convenience. The whole debacle cost us thousands more than what it wouldve cost if she just fucking borrowed from me. She also routinely overdrafted on her checking account just so she didnt have to borrow from me when she needed groceries, because she didnt want me to know that she was broke.---Oh right. Almost forgot.First post!Assistant: Welcome to Reddit. First question, do you have income? I did not see anything about that. I assume you pay your rent and mortgage somehow. Assuming yes for income, the general rule is 13 of you gross income should be spent on rent. Could you afford that in your area?Sorry - Reread. You need a job to move out.Human: Its a gamble, basically. I havent been able to find a job since I lost my last job in November. My family hates me and doesnt respect me. I pay the fucking bills. Mortgage is behind one month now. Electricity behind several months.I am sinking in debt because of my familys completely lack of financial responsibility. I am burning through my savings and moving out in the hopes of getting some peace of mind and getting a job closer to my new home.I live in rural Missouri. The closest decent-sized city I could move to is OFallon. Maybe St. Charles if Im willing to put up with a much higher cost of living.I have had three callbacks since I lost my job. Only two job interviews. When I apply for an entry-level McJob, I dont get hired when they see Im overqualified for this shit I used to make 3700 per month in my second last job, and barely 1000 per month on my last job since it was just a temp thing.Heck, even when I tell them I realize the job pays less than what I used to make, and that Im currently looking for a second job, they dont fucking call back.Assistant: I pay the fucking bills. Mortgage is behind one month now. Electricity behind several months.Do you own the home? Or do you just give them the money?If you own the home, you can kick them out. I know its cold, but if they are dragging you down, you can and should cut them loose. Theres a saying in the support subreddits- dont light yourself on fire just to keep someone else warm. It sounds to me like you have mortgaged your prospects to keep them going, and you dont seem to say anything about what they are contributing to the household. Id say one of the biggest things you need to do is get them contributing to the household. Get jobs, government assistance, etc. If they arent doing something that helps improve the family financial situation, they need to start or GTFO. If you are not the name on the deed if the house, and you arent the name on the mortgage, you need to stop paying. You are enabling them to live rent free off of your back. If you are on the mortgage but not the deed, you need to get it set to that either you are on both, or neither. You should stop enabling them to live off of you and giving up your own life to do so.Human: I got very sick in 2005 and my mother took care of me while holding down two jobs until around 2014, when I got better. My mother keeps score with the people she helps, and expects them to reciprocate.Unfortunately, her help is oftentimes given against the wishes of her recipient, and can sometimes make things worse for everyone involved.She is basically a pathological altruist. She sees herself as the only one who can fix things the way that only she can take care of her dogs. Her behavior is especially insidious because at first glance, she seems benign and helpful. She inevitably makes enemies with coworkers after shes been with the company for years, after theyve gotten to know how helpful she is.She is now planning on suing the second last company I worked for for discrimination, despite the fact that she volunteered to take a pay cut to help the company, and also told the CEO to pass the contract from her to me. All done voluntarily, at her insistence. Our CEO did not ask her to take a pay cut.Because the CEO actually believed me more than her, she now hates her guts and is fully convinced that she is ripping off the government.I just realized that paragraphs pronouns might be confusing. The CEO is female, and also an immigrant.I really, really wish that there is something the agencies she worked at before can do against her. She got several people fired over the years because of her bullshit. Because she does not follow the rules, she looks like a miracle worker who can do anything while her colleagues look incompetent.  <response>: My mother keeps score with the people she helps, and expects them to reciprocate.Unfortunately, her help is oftentimes given against the wishes of her recipient, and can sometimes make things worse for everyone involved.People who keep score in relationships are manipulative. No way around it. Even if its under the guise of being helpful, its still manipulative. I mean, forcing nice things on people, knowing that you will then push them to pay you back, thats a manipulative behavior. Thats also not how healthy relationships work. Shes not doing nice things to be a good person. Shes doing it to influence people and hold some power or control over them. When shes keeping score, she probably comes out ahead most of the time, right?And just because she has some expectation that you will pay her back, doesnt mean that you actually have to fulfill that expectation. Or that you need to sacrifice yourself to meet this expectation. Or that the expectation is even reasonable.In any case, you are talking like you are expected to be the head of household. If you intend on filling that role, you need to act like that- manage the houses assets, make sure people are doing things that benefit the household instead of hurting it spending time and money to file a lawsuit sounds somewhat fruitless but I dont know all of your details. If you intend to move out, start divorcing yourself from the situation. Set boundaries, get your name off of the bills and stop paying them, save your money, and move out. Let them live with the consequences of their actions or inaction. She inevitably makes enemies with coworkers after shes been with the company for years, after theyve gotten to know how helpful she is.They all set healthy boundaries to protect themselves. She reacted accordingly because she lost her people to manipulate. Because they arent helping her or behaving under her power and control, she perceives them as the enemy. Be ready for her to consider you the enemy too, when she realizes that you are no longer under her power and control. Because it will happen. Because the CEO actually believed me more than her, she now hates her guts and is fully convinced that she is ripping off the government.Case in point- she no longer had influence over the CEO, therefore the CEO is the enemy. 