<prompt> Human: I wanted to bring this up after having a conversation with my GF and realizing that my attitude towards money isnt just strange, but possibly unhealthy. Like many other users on this sub Im a young professional whos been trying to get a handle on budgeting and money management after a very stressful and frugal college experience . . . I make solid money not a ton, but the money is fine, especially considering my major and have a finely-tuned budget put together that Im confident this sub would approve of.But thats not what this post is about. Its about how YOU develop a healthy attitude towards money and how individuals who are used to having tons of stress about money and living crisis to crisis transition into normal living that is both mentally and financially healthy.I agonize over minor purchases and very rarely buy myself anything; I never buy enough groceries and skip meals until I break down from hunger and buy something while Im out ... I never buy clothes and most of my clothingshoes are very old and have holes in them, but like food, Im too afraid to do anything with money other than drop it into savings. But even this causes me a lot of stress because I always dip back into savings when I inevitably break down and buy necessities that my brain considers frivolous at a bare minimum in the end I still save more than most people each month, but not enough to feel safe.The pattern Ive noticed is that I put a huge portion of each paycheck into savings before anything else. Whatever is left over has to be enough, but I always come up a little short, and I panic when I inevitably have to take some cash back out for food it doesnt help that between work, commuting, the gym, and the GF, I dont have enough time to cook and clean at home as much as I should.I have a great budget now, but Im afraid Ill be unable to execute it. My brains idea of budgeting is taking a huge chunk of each paycheck out before I spend anything, and then still have enough left over to pay for all of my modest expenses without tracking them or thinking about them. Micromanaging money in the day-to-day is beyond stressful for me because for years my money situation was I dont have any left, Im not allowed to buy food or have billsexpenses ever! Even having a large emergency fund doesnt help calm me down - because Im so used to having an anemic and erratic cashflow that only by being able to take huge chunks of money out for savings that Im never allowed to really use each month, am I allowed to feel safe.This got REALLY long, REALLY fast - but have any of you ever experienced this before? Do you have any ideasthoughtsrecommendations?Thanks you so much for reading.Assistant: Best way for both ends of this spectrum insane savers and insane spenders is to come up with not only a budget, but also goals, usually goals first. Goals should be things like:1. Save 50,000 for a house by 2020. 2. Save 1M by Age 353. Save 20k to take a trip around the world by 20184. Save 100 to buy that sweet Optimus Prime action figure I want. Then take all of those goals and figure out how much you need to save each weekmonthyear to get there. Then every pay period allocate your funds across your budget working towards those goals. Keep spreadsheets with balances for each of those goals. Then if you are following your budget and working towards your goals, CALM THE FUCK DOWN.Money is nothing but a transfer mechanism to turn your labor into things you wantneed. Thats it. A mega balance in the bank is actually pointless if you arent going to use it for something. Im not saying there is no value in financial security or wanting to leave something to your kids. What I am saying is give every dollar a job.Does that make any sense?Human: It does make sense - and I really appreciate it.I just really need a better approach to thinking about money.Thinking about giving every dollar a job is really stressful...Ive done it a thousand times on excel spreadsheets, but when it comes time to actually divide the labor among those dollars it is inevitably skewed.College was panic and poverty: now the thought of giving every dollar a job every day is really very stressful; like, if I just work hard enough save a big lump sum each month and stop wasting money dont eat breakfast, its a waste, even though I never eat lunch, either - or - dont buy new socks, you still have one pair without any holes somewhere around here... then I can afford not to think about money in the day-to-day.Goals are important but pulling the trigger is torture because Im so used to things blowing up in my face financially. Ive saved up thousands for a much needed vehicle replacement and I basically paralyze myself in the planning and consideration phase without actually pulling the trigger because, as always, its always better to hold onto the money - even if it costs me more to keep my beater limping along, for example.As zealous as I am I dont even wind up saving that much...its more than enough, but not really that high - its just inconsistent and inefficient due to my fear of closely monitoring it.I guess I just need to figure it out.  <response>: It really, really sounds like this is an anxiety issue, not a budget issue. Years of financial insecurity has basically traumatized you on the subject of money. This isnt an unusual occurrence. I would recommend at least a few sessions with a competent therapist who can hopefully address your anxiety issues. You need coping strategies for those, not tips on how to manage your money. 