<prompt> Human: I guess I should start by saying that I know what I did was wrong and stupid and illegal, but that it was one of those things that never seemed like a big deal at the time, but the gravity of it is slowly sinking in.I am a bartender in a large city in the American Southeast and for the past 5-6 years Ive been sticking somewhere between 50-100 into a sort of giant piggy bank I have in my room after every shift. This past week it had finally gotten to the point where I physically could not stuff another bill in there so I figured it was finally time to crack the thing open and count up. Several hours and many dozens of rubber bands later, I currently have just over 95,000 sitting in a pile in the corner of my room and Im kind of freaking the fuck out.Im sure a lot of you will mock me for my lack of planning and for letting it get this out of hand, but I honestly never even thought about this money. I would just grab a few 20s at the end of every shift, roll them up, cram them in, and forget about them. It just became a sort of automatic ritual that I never thought twice about. In my head there was 10k maybe 15k in there, but it was really just something I never even thought about.Obviously its pretty exciting, Ive never even seen this much money in one place before, but I have absolutely no idea where to go from here. I claim a very tiny percentage of my tips, pretty much only the ones I get via credit card we are primarily a cash bar and for the past few years Ive claimed around 22,000-30,000 in total earnings. Clearly Ive been making significantly more than that but I dont keep track of my tips I know I know and literally everything in my life is paid for in cash so there is no paper trail for any of this money. I rent a house from a friend of mine and pay 1300 cash a month, both of my cars were paid for in cash up front from people I met off craigslist, I eat out most meals and again this is all paid for in cash. Really the only things I use my debit card for is car insurance and my cell phone bill combined for about 400 a month.Some background: I am a 27 year old single male. No degree. No kids. No debt. I dont even have a credit card. Ive never checked my credit score and at this point Im almost too afraid to. I dont have a 401k or and IRA or a broker or any of the other things I see all over this sub and none of the posts in the FAQ section really apply to my situation. All I have is my cars, my dog, around 28,000 in my checking account and just shy of 100,000 in cash sitting on my bedroom floor. So my question is this: what the Hell do I do now? Im not exactly a financial wizard but even I know that if I walk into my credit union with all this and try and fill out a deposit slip its going to raise some serious questions from them and from the IRS but I really have no idea what else to do. At this point Id honestly rather just report it to the IRS and pay whatever I owe on it just so I can deposit it and get it out of my house, but I dont want to go to jail or have it seized by the police or something. Do I have any other options? Should I start buying up gold or find some seedy businessman to launder the money with? This is just such a ridiculous problem I never expected to have and I would really appreciate any and all advice. Thanks for taking the time to read all this.TL;DR: accidentally saved up around 100,000 in cash. none of it filed with the IRS. wat do.  <response>: The right thing to do would be to claim it as income, pay taxes on it, and use some of it to start a retirement account. At 27, you should have an IRA andor a taxable brokerage account if your work doesnt offer a 401k. 