<prompt> Human: How do I help myself PF? I keep thinking Ive got my life and finances under control but if youve seen any posts Ive made in the last year to the depression subreddit or others, youll probably get the idea that Im just barely keeping my head above water with my crushing debt and its getting to the point now that every emergency legtimately feels like its going to overwhelm and destroy me. I dont know how to handle it. Ive got a lot of money budgeted every month for all of the essentials, Ive got autopay set up on most accounts paying above the minimum, trying to cover interest while I bring down the highestbiggest interest account, I have some idea where every dime goes. I have been spending some money frivolously, but not enough that I never have left over money, but it seems like every single time I do blow a little money on something Im instantly hit with a major expense that I cant ignore. Just for example: my fiances birthday was coming up so I bought her a little 20 gift which would have been fine, if not for my front brakes finally giving way to metal on metal requiring me to do a full rotorpad set. Boom 280 gone. And now, I just got done getting her some gifts and trying to make her birthday decent despite this huge expense, and then my car slid as I was backing out causing me to hit a parked car across the street. I dont know how much that will cost or what even the owner will say when they find out. I just know its screwing me for another holiday. I feel like I cant recover. I barely make enough to keep us fed and clothed with a roof over our heads. Any left over money Ive been putting into debt relief. I just dont know how to handle this. I dont know if theres any way to make extra money without having her get a job but I dont know if she could handle that on top of school and Im not sure if I could handle a second job even if I could find one that suited all my needs. I feel so lost, stuck, and helpless.Assistant: Which scenario causes more stress: her having no income such that you are supporting both of you, or her making a few hundred month working part time one day week?Human: Im personally not sure if I can even force her into it. Ive explained it a lot and she wishes she could get a job too but it doesnt seem like theres anything she can do where we live because that would take away anyall time we have together on the weekends she is at school during the weeks, and any job she got where she goes to school would likely require weekend hours as well. I really dont know if we could balance our relationship and 2 jobs.Assistant: Without knowing any details of your budget or really any details at all, my first reaction is that she needs to work 5 - 10 hours a week. Thats not much and its completely possible. An on campus job might be ideal, that way she can work around her classes and lessen the time spent commuting. Human: I guess it just comes down to what I feel we should sacrifice. Ill see if she can get a job and do what I can to help her find one that doesnt suck. I just feel like I should be the one providing. I guess thats kind of a stupid way to view income in this day and age.  <response>: Yes, very antiquated thinking. You speak of her like a parent would a child instead of as a partner with an independent equal. Knowing you are under stress should motivate her to want to help out your household because it benefits you. 