 7.9.19  1:18 am my girlfriend says i gotta stop overthinking it and just start small (not exactly what she said but that's kinda how i understood it. sorry if that's wrong @gf) but i'm so fixated on doing the big stuff that i don't want to start small. how do i convince myself to actually sit down and learn what is necessary before getting on to the ambitious stuff? i swear this is like freaking ground hog day for me because i'm in a loop of really wanting to do music and then being scared away because everything is so overwhelming and for some reason i just can't focus on what i need to focus on to actually Start! hhhgh. i apologize.
i strongly recommend starting with very small projects, but since you have clearly proclaimed that you do not want to do that, it seems you must complete the 12 levels of suffering, then the 13th which is the unlucky last and final level; the reason it is unlucky is because after you finish it you will be informed that there is another level after that