i often find myself disconnected from other's perceptions of what it means to help someone.  for many it seems to be simple platitudes, but i personally like to get into detail and really throw myself at the problem, and try to make a meaningful difference, even if it only means cheering someone up or just doing something unexpected (not even problem can be solved materially, after all).  afterwards, when i find myself spending more energy on others than they do towards me (which tends to happen), i feel left out, forgotten, and frustrated.  how do i pivot my understanding or approach to this to lower my frustration?
i think this is a self correcting balance. the frustration itself will lead you to tone it down a bit