i tried to find everything i've ever written; stories, fictions, novel ideas, lyrics, text roleplays, one-shots, prompts, poems and even the stupid weird, you know, "things" from primary school. i gathered all of them and checked them over to see if they are useful, to take the good ones and finish projects. after all this time i didn't write anything but a scenario for a school play, probably because it destroyed my whole life and i gave everything i had to it (i thought it would be a simple and small play since we do it for school but since i always want to do everything perfect, i somehow kinda became the director and wrote 13000 fucking words, with history researching, songs, stage decor, costumes, lighting etc it took 7 damn months of my life and i even fucking translated a nurse's journal and a soldier's war letters in Ottoman Turkish which was simply Arabic, a language that i don't know, for play to be realistic), i hoped reading m
 y old wo
 rks would make me do something. it didn't. i don't know why i stopped doing what i do best. maybe i was tired and no matter what i do, i can't encourage myself to start again but i have to. it's not about inspiration, i am always creative but sometimes power of imagination is too much and i feel like i'm going insane. i want to write about whole universe(s) but i can't, and possibilities every little thing creates... so this is the situation. i am sorry, it's long but i needed to tell. and the question is: should i complete my old projects, creating in a small scale like you said or should i go after the one i have always wanted to do which can change my life by starting all over? there is another choice, i can use my good works for beginning that big project but i'm so fucking afraid that i'll never be able to finish it.
ah, you are drowning in infinity. this will probably be confusing and hopeless for a little while longer, just keep brainstorming and thinking of different possibilities.... just when you think there's no solution, you'll realize that you are actually safe on solid ground, and instead of drowning it's actually just raining infinity. so just get some cups