ok so bill, i have a good idea of what i'm doing with my life and how i'm gonna get there, but it's so long term and i'm struggle with the intermediary steps, well not really struggling, i definitely know I can do it if I just put myself to it, but thing is I never feel like putting myself to it despite making to-do lists and such, because I feel trapped that I have to spend all these years working towards that one big goal and I feel like I have no time for the things I actually want to do on the side, yet when I get home I'm lazy and I don't do anything and I waste a phenomenal amount of time not being able to decide whether I want to do something for my present self or my future self, so I end up wasting the entire day away somehow doing neither and it makes me depressed. How do I solve this?
it sounds like you need to be more specific in the details, especially the time table. also need to get clear about if you really want to do this, and why. also you may just have to wait a few more years until you get a little more desperate to accomplish it. although if you think you are desperate enough to do it now, then you can go ahead and get started