i want to do cool stuff like play instruments (and make music, but that's a different story), also i want to study for university but it's incredibly hard for me to do anything boring. playing scales and other technical exercises gets boring after 2, 3 practices and playing the same 5/6 songs from the marching band i'm in over time gets boring too. in the end i just improvise shittily and inconsistently on my instrument with scarce improvement in years. i also don't like studying, actually i'm procrastinating right now how to do things you want to do but don't want to? it is a paradox and you sometimes say to people like me "do you really want to do it" and my answer is "yes! of course!! but not really...". i want to play an instrument and i want to become an engineer. but i'm hitting a wall nothing is completely interesting, and i'm dying inside. what do i do? help have you ever struggled with this?
yes. but i know there's answers. it's just an interesting puzzle. and one thing i know about puzzles, is that i never want to solve it unless there will one day be a tv show of me solving it. as soon as i begin recording or documenting the discussions of this entire situation, the things i 'thought' i wanted to do, the things i've been trying that aren't working, etc, suddenly the whole thing becomes very exciting, and answers are found