oh !!! i think i may have solved the puzzle. before you were a human, you didn't know about Life. and once you die, you will go on to "the next level," youve said. and what you do in life seems to affect what your next level is like, i also remember you saying. very mysterious, this next level, which certainly seems a lot like life, except that it isnt life as we know it. but it's similar in the way that you didn't know about life until you found yourself with it. hmm. jeez actually maybe i dont get it. am i in the ballpark?
i think you are looking at it as sort of a 1 time climb, where as it seems to me if it were a 1 time climb, chances are it would be already over or not started yet. and yet here we are, right in the middle of it, every time