It feels like I'm in a war of attaching and detaching, of entering cycles of suffering and being absolutely free. Idk if this is how I live life or if it's preventing me from living life. What do you think? How can I stop it? How can I just be on 1 side? Or will I get bored of it and switch over occasionally?
you'll never stay on just 1 side. there are many different sides. technically they are all good in different ways, although it can be impossible to see this at the time