what if i just fucking learned how to fucking shut the fuck up for fucking good      or      what if i just fucking learned the fucking right things to fucking share and the things to keep to my fucking self      fuck   fuck       fuck       fuck        fuck         fuck          fuck         fuck          fuck         fuck          fuck         fuck           &
 nbsp;&nb
 sp;   you know what the fuck i fucking need? i need some fucking joy in my fucking heart. just a little. then it would be okay. well, i do have an itty bitty teeny tiny bit left. most of the time. as of late i can't find it. it exists. i swear it exists. i swear i'm not just a hopeless sack of shit. i don't knowwhatiamdoinganymoreeeasdfasdfasdfasdfasdfasdfasdfasdfasdfdsfdsfasdfaddddddd  okay what is the point of to da yy yy yy y yy y y y y y y yy y y y y y y y yy y y y y y y y y yy y y y y y y y y yy y y y  y yy y y y y y y y y y y y y y y yy y y y y y y yy y y y y y y yy y y y y y y y yyyy  yy yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy IT IS THAT I AM SO FUCKING UNSURE OF MYSELF AND I NEED TO OKAY OKAY OKAY WAI
 T FUCK Y
 OU NEED TO HAVE A BIT OF AN IDEA OF WHAT TO SAY AND DO AND OKAY LET'S START THESE THINGS OFF    AS IF    AS IF     AS IF          AS IF        AS IF         AS IF        AS IF         AS IF         AS IF       AS IF              AS IF         AS IF       damnit i have things to say but my brain won't let me go there well they would if i weren't so nervous about having the right thing to say and also just waiting to be booted off the computer when the rightful owner walk
 s in the
  door       ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH okay have i been going in circles all this time what yo uneeeeeeeeeed to dooooooo is to o o o o osdf sdfosdfosdofsdofosdfosdofdosfosdfoo       YOU NEEEEEEEEED TOOOOOOOOOO TOOOOOOOOOO TOOOOOOOOOOOO TOOOOOOOOOOO TOOOOOOOOOO start with a real issue and then have it on your mind and then handle it calmly like a stream that keeps on going    but     oh     no      i       am        here why dodi  asdifidsfiadsifaidsfiasdfiidasfiasdifaisdfiadsifaisdfiadsfiadisfiasdfiasdifiadsfiaidsf                 ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok o k o
 k ok ok 
 ok ok ok ok o k ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok o k ok ok ok ok ok ok o ko k ok ok okok okokokokokokokokokokokokokokookokokokokokokokokokokokokokokokokokokokokokokokokokokokokokokokokokokk  I KNOW WHAT THE PROBLEM IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  the last time you typed in notepad. now you're typing in the unexpanded little window so you might as well be typing on your phone. also you got going real fast because you were nervous because you slept in longer than you would have liked and probably won't have enough time on this thing      so    i a m g o i n g t o t a k e n o t e o f t h a t a n d w e a r e g o i n g t o h a v e a q u a i n t l i t t l e l i s t o f m y p a i n s a n d s h a m e s a n d p r o b l e m s a n d s e e h o w i t g o e s a n d i t i s g o i n g t o b e f u c k i n g p e a c h y w h e t h e r a n y o n e e l s e l i k e s i t o r n o t w e w i l l l e a r n t o m a k e
  i t l i
  k a b l e i n a s e c J U S T D O N ' T F O R G E T A B O U T T H A T F O R T O O L O N G O H M Y G O  O OO O O O O OODDDDNESSS S S S S SS S o k o k o k o k o k o k o k o k o k o k o k o k o k o k o k o k o k o k o k o k o k o k o k o k o k o k o k o k o k o k o k o k but you know not everything that you need to say anybody needs to see not even this or anything really so why well why okay so you have a choice not to don't refrain from writing about anything if you need to but it's yours alone but oh no  asdfasdf how will i know what ot o h oho ho ho o ho hoh oh oh oh oh oh oh oho ho ho hoh o hoh o hoh oh o ho ho ho ho ho h oh oh oh o oh S   T   O      P         S T O P SOTPSTOPSTOSPTOSTPSTOSOTOSPTPOSTPOSTPOSTSOSOTOSTOSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOSPTSOTPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSROAISDFADKJSFKLJAKLFDJASFKLJ   &nb
 sp; 
 ;  ok. this is a throwaway   it  is   my brain   at its baseline worst    wh i c h is great news for everything else i'm gonna do it right i'm gonna do everything ever in life better than this   AND IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME YOU CAN GO proceed with your life in the way you see fit but FUCK I'M GONNA TRY  ahhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHhHhHhHhHhHhHhHhHasdfadsfasdfadsfasdfasdf   W H Y W H Y W H Y WH YASDF you know what at some point he's not gonnabother with this shit anymore so what are you gonna do what are you gonna do what are you gonna do why do i have to be like this okay what are we doing here what are we doing here what are we doing here what are we doing here what are we doing here what are we doing here what are we doing here what are we doing here i just wanna know if i'm doing something right or just being fucking annoying how can i do it mo
 re right
  how do i do it okay we are just here and will be here to map out what needs to be thought through and if that works cool great fine but that is not what this place is for and that's not all of what you are going to do it is temporary it is temporary it is a temporary botherance ok ok ok ok  ok ok ok ok ok you know what else you need to be respectful of people's time FINE i Will  oh no oh no oh o no ono o YES STOP NOW OH NO OH NO OH NO OH NO OH NO okay but how are we gonna know if this is a ok you ok shit fuck that last one needed to stay to myself huh but this one clarifies that i acknowledge that and oh no oh on oadsfasdfasdfadsf    I    d  o not know  IF ANYONE WHO KNEW ME KNEW I WROTE ALL THIS SORT OF BULLSHIT THEY WOULD NOT ASSOCIATE WITH ME EVEN HARDER THAN THEY ALREADY DON'T AND IF ANYONE WHO MET ME FIGURED OUT THEY WILL UN-MEET ME FORE
 VER 
 ;   i need to figure out how to be a little less of a downer why do i feel so bad all the time because life and my life is my fault   just expanded the little box out and it's not an abysmal amount of text so i guess have a lovely little turd   BY THE WAY  :::::::::::::::::::::::::  HERE IS THE TL;DR MEANING OF THIS  :::::::::::::::::::::::::::  I Am Not Sure What I Am Doing But I Am Attempting To Become More Organized In Trying To Figure Out What I'm Doing Which Requires Much Contemplation And Hard Work Done Alone But Maybe Without Being Overwhelmed By The Feeling That I Am Alone In This For All Time Because I Might Actually Be Which I Can Learn To Deal With In Time But Right Now I'm Wearing My Training Wings   Also When It Comes To Trying To Produce T H O U G H T S  T H A T  A R E   G   O   O   
 D &
 nbsp;This Is A Nice Place To Test It Is As Close As I Can Come To Figuring That Out Alone But There Are Some Downsides To That Okay That's Something To Talk About I'm Gonna Get Kicked Off This Thing Bye  THE TL;DR OF THE TL;DR ----- I AM SORRY I AM I KNOW THIS IS VERY SILLY BUT I NEED TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO STOP DOUBTING EVERYTHING I SAY AND ALSO GET BETTER AT SAYING ok now bye
have you tried taking short walks in the morning