And now I realize how stupid I've been. I should just doodle and not give a fuck about what happens. Just express it- even if it isn't clear. And I've been so scared to do something wrong because I want to be so much like the other people I look up to that are able to create cool stuff. But if I look at how I'm feeling at the moment, It doesn't even feel right to make "cool stuff" it feels right to express my anger and fear and confusion. And with music it's sorta similar- I can improvise sometimes and I love the way I'm able to do it. And other times I just mess up and just struggle and freak out again like ahsbsbdhddhdh yeah I'm not perfect at all. But pfft atleast I'm looking at how stupid I am and realizing how stupid I am.
everyone is stupid. it's fun