i am so lonely that i type out inane things to a man i have never met and most probably never will in the hopes that he will type something in return, causing me to feel heard and validated, even if the question was something like 'do horse butts have hopes and dreams', and when this man does not pick my message out of hundreds it feels like a personal failure and i imagine him looking at what i sent and wrinkling his nose and going 'eugh' and scrolling on past and that image hurts like hell and causes me to feel way more proud than i should when i am answered because that supposedly means i wrote something brilliant enough to deserve an answer but really it was just something that he could think of a response to, and i imagine him answering that question but still wrinkling his nose at it because of how dumb it is, but reading his answers to people who expect him to be annoyed by certain questions/etc. and the rest of his answers in general seem to 
show tha
t that image isn't accurate but i still fear that my questions are bad, but keeping this in mind calms me enough to send in stupid shit anyway because it's fun and it's nice to share fun even if you can't know for sure if the other person likes it, because the alternative would be to hold onto every thought, light and heavy like helium balloons and stones tied to strings, forever without anyone getting to know your way of fun or perhaps helping you to carry the heavy stuff.   anyway this is a cordial invitation to my underwater tea party, b.y.o.a.t. (bring your own air tank), located in the sea of okhotsk at coordinates 52.996011, 147.384337. check the box that indicates whether or not you consent to hug and be hugged warmly and egregiously by other consenting guests  [ ] yes please  [ ] no thank you, not really much of a hugger
hi. i don't have time to go to the party, but i just wanna say you are doing a great job, and very passionate and creative, and keep up the great work