I've seen you complain or at least mention many times that you don't have many friends / are not able to collaborate. have you thought about how that in the end you never would have been able to work as hard on your various tasks if you did have people around, even though it kinda sucks?
i'm not sure what you mean. but i have found what works for me and i am doing it, and things have been great ever since. i am not sure if that answers your question