i find comfort in other people and other people's work, yet i could never find comfort in myself and my own work. ive tried to create things, but theyve always failed, like i dont feel any emotional connection with my own creations. and its weird, because i feel like i should, i should feel comfortable with myself, i should create. but my instincts are telling me to roam free- to learn, forget about it all- go consume content, find people, read stories, invest in other's worlds and creations. perhaps im rushing the whole "creation" thing. i still have lots to explore in this world, lots to learn. and i want to explore everything. i know  one day itll all make sense. instead of being serious about making art, i should have fun and seek joy in all that has already been made. i feel like ive neglected the beauty the world has presented to me. i need to heal my soul by getting lost within this world. only then creation will blossom. art cannot
  be forc
 ed. creation will flow through my fingertips when it comes.
that's true