Do you consider yourself happy? Does your life make you fully happy in all aspects?
there is ridiculous and explosive joy in my life, HOWEVER, on the other side, there is a huge amount of deep dread mostly related to the fact that i seem to be inherently incapable of keeping my goals and processes within reasonable limits of complexity and quantity, and therefore i always feel in serious danger of accomplishing absolutely nothing. and every day i seem to proclaim that this is ruining my life, but then i usually retract that statement because it somehow seems unlikely