i had a dream i brough my trumpet to a jam but when it was time to play i was like nevermind i'm not any good at trumpet i don't want to play. a while later i remembered i can sing and i asked if they could play something i can sing and they were like no we don't do that here. much like in that dream, i don't feel like i'm in a place where my talents and skills are appreciated. maybe i have to make the place but that sounds exhausting. i'm not sure making a place for myself is in my skillset.
has to be either place making, place finding, or place adapting. or the secret 4th option of course, which is to be miserable