it feels like my friends and roommates take up an exorbitant amount of my time from doing important work, but it also feels unhealthy to shut myself away from them.   but i can't imagine what else is going to truly help.  its like i'm watching my life pass me by and i can't enjoy anything.  as if there is just is no true balance to be had unless i am ok with being spread thin and mediocre in everything.      any thoughts/advice
it sounds like you want to try an isolation approach but you haven't yet. try that and see how it goes