think i finally understand the whole "everyday the prize gets higher for if i can make this work." From reality.  because my skills and experience and vision keep developing even as i dilly dally around the real big challenges because they scare the shit outta me still but i keep realizing more and more of my power and potential. was that what you were talking about at all?
that sounds about right. it's kind of like when the lottery thing keeps growing if no one has won it yet