the pressure of my family to dedicate my life to school because they tell me that if I don't, I'm going to be poor. And I'm attempting to be a good artist only to fall on my face. And I try to run away from these terrible feelings through video games and I even fail at that too. So I'm going through a pretty rough time. I don't even know what to do to help myself. But thank god it's nighttime. I can't stand the daytime because I'm surrounded by an environment that I hate and whenever I open my eyes I can see every single inch of it. I guess to comfort myself in these times I just go underneath my blankets and distance myself from the world and type to you. I just really want to feel better but I don't know how. Actually, I'd feel a lot b etter if I knew that I can succeed in the future without college and if I could be comfortable talking to my parents about my feelings. And i had a car so I can just leave my house and distance myself from everything I hate about this world.
i think you may get better results if you think more in terms of strengthening your force field, rather than trying to escape. i think if you escape in a car you may feel trapped in a car. cars are small. if you need to leave, you can walk ... sometimes that feels better than driving anyway