you seem to feel pressure from your fans in a lot of different ways but then you also say that you try to tune out your fans when it comes to your creative process and only focus on the videos you want to make. but if the pressure from your fans has an effect on you personally, how could that not influence your process, even if it's only on a subconscious level?
it's kind of like carrying an object. the weight of the object makes you heavier, but you are still able to carry the object wherever you choose. and you become stronger. and object gets to travel to new places