I think that's how I can truly be happy you know- being confident in the future and in yourself. I'm a bit hesitant to go all in and have a whole bunch of confidence that if I get better at art I'll be all set in life. I mean even if I'm wrong, I might as well try, right? It's better than just sitting here extremely afraid and sad. And i feel like I can learn a lot from it all- I mainly think that being good at art would be what makes me joyous and feel fulfilled in life because I love expressing myself. But if I can express myself in a more moving and beautiful way like through music and drawing, I think I'll have a blast. I can express myself in ways that have never been done before. But I have to learn first. I have to get really good and experienced to be able to express myself through song the way I want to.
actually sometimes the most true and powerful expressions occur before you have barely learned anything. and at the same time, no amount of experience will ever be enough to express anything 'perfectly' unless you adopt the view that everything is perfect (which is a fine view) in which case that's great news because that means anything you could possibly do would be perfect even if it wasn't quite what you were expecting (kind of like people)