possibilities scare me. each one of them comes with a -and more- different future(s). nobody can see them all, which makes the first move even more scarier. it's where you become the aphelion itself, the furthest point from the sun. you don't know what will happen if you begin your journey. stars may burn you, you can get lost in emptiness of nothing, everything may be terrible. even if the end is bad, it's existence is relaxing since it means everything is temporary and nothing lasts forever but when you ARE the aphelion, the end is far away as much as your dreams shining bright like the sun. there is an infinite space of possibilities between you and your biggest fears, as much as everything you have ever wished and everything you have gone through is for you to be at that point. there are so many ways to start changing your world and the world, to write, to tell stories and the universes i imagined, so many words... i don't have the guts to start 
all over
 (again). you lived similar yet different things in music, at least that's what i understand. i really need your help. i can't get focused on just one project, inspiration and creativity are like my curse and i give a deep meaning in every damn thing around me, i want to write about all of them. i always try to calculate the chaos of probabilities in my mind, i of course can't. this makes me leave everything i started unfinished and like if i am in a vicious circle, i find myself in that aphelion point AGAIN to start another project after the other one i only completed the first layer of. i begin to be afraid of taking the pen in my hands that is basically my life. how did you do that? how did you dare to make the first move and just make music?
the deeper you get into that situation (your situation) you'll notice the prize gets higher and higher for just doing 'something' and finishing it. so shrink the project size and lower the bar until it is completely manageable. do a short thing and it doesn't matter what it is. then save it and date it and do your next thing