my nights are not only taken by visions of trying to see us in a marital and family role as opposed to my trying to raise this child alone and what that may mean for the child who would be deprived of a fathers love , because from everything i could see , he is very concerned for this child and desperately desires to have a role in raising them , but as i drift into my uneasy sleep , i can not stop the visions of my making love to one whose face still refuses to reveal itself to me .