table of contents : chapter 1 - jade : chapter 2 - jesse : chapter 3 - jesse : chapter 4 - jesse : chapter 5 - jade : chapter 6 - jesse : chapter 7 - jesse : chapter 8 - jesse : chapter 9 - jade : chapter 10 - jesse : chapter 11 - jade : chapter 12 - jesse : chapter 13 - jade : chapter 14 - jesse : chapter 15 - jesse : chapter 16 - jade : chapter 17 - jesse : chapter 18 - jade : chapter 19 - jesse : chapter 20 - jade : chapter 21 - jesse : afterward : chapter 1 - jade : the sigh that escaped my mouth was so big , so heavy , that it might have been my soul freeing itself from my body .